Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.
We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.
I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.
So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.
OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.
2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.
Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.
For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.
No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.
Thank you for coming!
Lord, be magnified.
In His lavish love,
Beth
1. This isn't the most recent, but it's a good one. When we were newly married the show "Friends" was on. My husband was studying every night, and I worked every day. We never had any time together. We had "waited for marriage" which is good, but it's hard to just shuck off all those years of holding back and go for it, if you get my drift. Plus we were never, ever together and awake at the same time. Except for once a week when Friends came on. I remember so vividly them talking on that show about how often they all had sex. I was so embarrassed, and there's no telling what was going through his head, but we just sat there. Week after week, side by side. Silent. Eating ice cream or whatever. Then he would get up and go back to his desk, and I would go to bed and fall asleep and get up again and go to work and another week would go by.
By God's grace we made it through those rough early years, and having four children together helped us get over ourselves. But every time I see a newlywed couple, I just wish I could tell them not to worry. Do not worry. It's okay. Things will change, and God can bless every part of your marriage, and you're not weird, and it's okay. To think what tv shows they have to contend with now. It just breaks my heart.
2. What part of the definition resonates:
Where Beth called it a "compulsion of insecurity." I cannot control it. It has been with me my whole life despite happily married parents, a happy childhood, wise choices as an adolescent, good husband, lovely children. I am the woman who "Takes a frequent inventory of her place in the space." I think of it as a tape that plays in my head. And I despise it!
Typically I pick and choose from activities like this. I'll just read the chapters and think about the answers, but I don't really write em down. However, I'm following your directions to the letter this time, Beth. I'm trusting God for big steps forward.
Ginger
30's
Married 15 years
Cody
Houston, TX
23
Single
2. Hmmm… I have never participated in a "blog-group" before. Even as I'm starting to type this (and in the past 3 days as I've put it off), I've struggled with what I guess is insecurity. I have actually considered making up a fake name for this little exercise. My name is CODY and I'm female. I actually really like my name (now that I'm not getting invited to "all-boys" birthday parties or showing up for baseball practice when I'm supposed to be on a softball team). It's unique and I have grown to love it! But my point is that all you Ann's and Kathy's out there can maintain some semblance of anonymity when you only disclose your first name and location. I think there may be like maybe two other female Cody's in their twenties in Houston, TX… So, I'm feeling a little exposed.
3. After that lovely piece of excessive self-analyzing, I guess I'm gonna have to go with "takes a frequent inventory of [my] place in the space." I'm usually a combination of the two girls at the party described in the book on page 22 – I'm the one who gets all dressed up and then tries to blend into the wallpaper and then hopes that someone will notice me! I don't know what that makes me except an insecure walking contradiction.
I really never thought I was insecure and I certainly wouldn't have said that I "struggle" with it, but I was recently informed by Chapter 2 that insecurity is a problem for me. Now I notice it all the time and am READY FOR GOD TO DEAL WITH IT AND TAKE IT AWAY!! …and I'm quite confident that He will for each one of us who answers, "Yes, Lord, I WANT to be well!"
Roll Call
Mary Lynn
40s
Milledgeville, Ga
happily married-
with 2 littles
Hey, there! This is my first time doing a study on-line and becoming a blogger. Hope I'm not too late to join the study! Looking real forward to it with all of you! Love you, Beth!
Cathy
Easley,SC
50s
married
ok. i think i'm finally ready to answer questions 2 and 3. it is difficult facing these issues in myself, which is all the more reason why this subject is so timely.
1) When was the last time i came face-to-face with with our gender's massive struggle with insecurity?
goodness. i face my own struggle with insecurity daily. some small, seemingly insignificant ways to an outsider, but huge to me. i guess the most frequent thing is when my DH chooses to read and watch tv at the same time, while i'm sitting beside him. and then lays down in bed to read some more at a very early hour,leaving me alone in the living room. when he is so 'ingrossed' in a tv show that he doesn't even hear me speak. when we watch tv during dinner instead of talking. i am constantly telling myself not to take it personally because i know he is madly in love with me, but it hurts nonetheless.
2) What part of the definition of insecurity resonates most with me?
i have the 'normal' insecurity about my physical appearance. 🙂 but i think the part of the definition about whether my own feelings and desires are legimitate, resonates most with me. i grew up with saysing like, "stop crying or i'll give you something to cry abut". As the 3rd of 4 kids, i was the peace-keeper. I never did much to shake things up. i'd rather be quiet than make waves. i still do that today. i don't even feel like i can say, 'can we please turn down the tv a little?' because who am i that MY preference for the volume on the tv is more important than someone else's? ugh. i hate that.
what i want most of all is for God to heal this in me. not so i can be puffed up, but so i can get my life in perspective. i long to say with all my heart…my worth comes from the fact that I'm a daughter of the Most High God.
I know I'm not the only one wanting to tell ALL of the women who hurt because of feelings of rejection – You are beautiful and precious and you just break my heart!
Why can't we feel that way towards ourselves?
"Too much for the the sinners and too little for the saints…being too much and not enough at the same time." We are killing ourselves and it's sad
Hey! first time doing a Bible study on-line and blogging. Hope I'm not too late to start!
Cathy
Easley,SC
50s
married
Hey! First time doing Bible study on-line, as well as blogging. Hope I'm not too late to start studying. Looking forward to this!
Cathy
Easley,SC
50s
Married
The last time I came face to face with my insecurity was a couple of days ago when I saw one of the two women who can instantly make me feel gross. They are both women who attend my church and are nice women who dress stylishly. Whenever I am near them I instantly feel so old, frumpy, inept even. They would be moritifed if they knew I felt this way about them–no about myself sorry. A few weeks ago my boss asked me why I felt that I had to prove something all the time. Well, that started this journey for me. One that continues with this book. I can see that God had this in His plan for me all along.
PERFECTIONISM–gave it up. It is not a good cover because eventually people see through it and know that you do make mistakes. My cover now consists of being "blonde" (sorry)even though I am a redhead. That way people get what they expect any way–for me to mess up, which I will eventually.
The definition of insecurity that caught me was "chronic self-consciousness, lack of confidence, fear of rejection, uncertainty that my own feelings and desires are legitimate." I can tell you that God has already done a work in my relationships and has been developing more realistic expectations in me. I do think I sabatoge myself sometimes.
I am looking forward to the great thing that God is apparently doing in me. Thank you Father. I am so thankful that you care enought to still work in me! Thank you Beth for this book and for sharing this journey with us.
Tammy
Gadsden, AL
50's
married
Fran
single again
50's
Gulf Shores, AL
1)yesterday I was invited to a party and I really did not want to go, so I had to make up an excuse rather than just be secure in declining
2)the above example reflects what I found most revealing in the definition of insecurity- somehow I felt like I didn't have a right to my feelings!
Beth, so far I have identified with everything in Chapter One and Two- this is right where I need to be. I am 58, so I certainly want to spend my 59th year being free of insecurity! 🙂 Bless you, and thank you so much for doing this for yourself and for us!
1) I saw insecurity in the check-out line today. We all know the magazines put beautiful women on their covers – but many of them also write articles and do surveys that target our insecurities – in hopes that we will buy the magazine thinking we will somehow be healed of some of our issues.
2)What part didn't resonate with me? The part about my place in the world…the part about chronic self-consciousness (Which is a HUGE revelation for me – I think about myself WAY too much.)…and the part about our feelings and desires being legitimate. It all hits home for me. Whew!
Kate
Ohio
20's
Married with kids
1.I have anxiety in new things I try and fear of failure, public failure, like where everybody knows and laughs…oooh, stems from being made fun of as a child being overweight. Still pain from those memories…..
2. I have self doubt, poor self talk and I lack confidence in myself and sometimes I wonder if all this floating around in my head and my heart is legitimate? I think too much…..
Lisa
Hickory NC
40's
married
Beth,
Thank you very much for writing this book.
Am also very thankful for the description of insecurity as well as the examples you provided.
The biggest issue for me in insecurity is my deep desire for harmony. I would rather forgive and move on than to talk/discuss to avoid any backlash or spewing of knife-cutting words or intense arguing as a result of folks being defensive. Mean people I do not handle very well. Unfortunately, even in the Body, we encounter mean people. Not all relationships are important enough for me to be insecure about but I have had my share. Those are the ones that send me into a tailspin.
With that said, my most recent experience of insecurity was triggered by a valued relationship. Am thankful it is not my marriage. My husband is a saint to listen to me after I have yapped, yapped, yapped to my Father about it.
So…I enter this phase with an open heart and mind that God will reveal clearly those areas that only He can fill, give me the courage to face those issues head on, increase my faith and the wisdom to deal with them. I do believe, Lord, help my unbelief!
Olda
Huntsville
50's
Married
It has been a difficult past few years. I tend to find myself constantly looking for the next bad thing that is going to happen instead of enjoying life. It seems that as soon as things start to regain a resemblance of normalcy another wave comes crashing in. I am a college student, so I am facing decisions that are going to impact the rest of my life. Everything aspect of my life seems to be up in the air, there are so many unknowns. I am also way too critical of my appearance. I look at all of the other women my age and ask myself why would a guy even give me a second look. It's time for a change. I have to give God control of EVERYTHING. I know He has a plan for me. I am His masterpiece; we are all His beautiful masterpiece.
Lindsay
Mobile, Al
20 years old
Single
Dear Beth,
I am so surprised that when you looked up the definition to insecurity my name and picture wasn't posted there!! I guess this one word describes me (unfortunately) perfectly!
1) Didn't have to go far – myself. My husband and 3 children went on a ski trip with our youth group this weekend. All three of my children got hurt-oldest son sprang his wrist, daughter had to be taken to hospital for x-rays on arm (not broken), and youngest son hit his head and blacked out twice. I (6 hours away at home) found out through a friend who texted me asking if my son was ok. I LOST it. All manner of insecurities went flying and I didn't handle the situation well AT ALL. Immediately I second guessed my husband's motives for not calling me and keeping me informed…and I'm still not convinced my request for a simple 2 min call to tell me what had happened and that everyone was ok is unreasonable…but all manners of insecurities took over – from his love for me to they don't need me!!
2) I relate to every part of the definition of insecurity you gave and sadly each part in a big way!
Needing this book, lots of prayers, and a major healing from my Father!
Sharon
GA, 40's, married
After a less than illustrious start to my war against my chronic insecurity,I find myself asking the question "How many times do i have to prove myself an idiot?"
1)When happening upon the hiding place my husband had chosen for My Valentine's gift, my immediate knee-jerk reaction was "He bought this for someone else,not me!" Of course, it was mine. To add further insult to my dignity I totally lost it over a benign email that he received from a female co-worker (we allow each other total access to read each other's email).
2)From Chapter 2: "I realized that I not only lack security, I also lack faith. I don't just doubt myself, I doubt God about myself."
Yes, admitting that IS a horror.
I'm sick to death of my chronic insecurity. I'm sick to death of my self-sabotage. I CANNOT carry this to my grave. 50s, married, Ky.
I recently got a job promotion; by the way I love it, this new position is so demanding that sometimes I wonder if I can remember all the functions it requires. I work in two different locations, mother to two teenager and wife to a wonderful husband. I feel insecure about alot of things. My position at work, mother and wife. That's why I'm so glad I picked up this book. I'm alone.
The second part is easy, especially at work. I work with alot of women; againlove them, but they constantly complain. It makes me wonder do they complain lke that when at the location, do they talk about me when I'm not in the room.
Again, so very, very happy I picked up this book.sones
I am blogging this book (first time blogger)and I come expecting. I will find my self and leave the past behind. I will also lear to blog in the process.
Love Ya Beth!
This book could not have come at a better time in my life…an answer to prayer and I'm only in the 3rd chapter.
1. I've always had what I would consider a decent body. Well, 9 months ago I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl!! Needless to say, my body hasn't bounced back yet and I'm struggling big time. I'm finding myself comparing my body to EVERY woman I see. Now place me and my insecure self on a beach vacation in Florida with another couple (who look fabulous) and all of my weaknesses came bubbling over. Nothing like throwing a pitty party because of 'cottage cheese' thigs on West Palm Beach, huh?
2. Appearance appearance appearance. How can I raise a daughter with healthy self esteem when I can't love myself at age 27?
2. I honestly cannot recall the last time I came face-to-face with my gender's massive insecurity. I suppose on a general basis when I see women place themselves in a compromising position I ache for them and wonder how they got there. As for me personally, I'm at the season of my life (58 years) where I've overcome insecurity where men are concerned. I've been married almost 39 years to a man who thinks I'm the most wonderful thing in the world. I thank God for this blessing.
3. The definition that resonated the most with me was by stating how we sometimes are unwittingly accomplices in creating our own misery. I am one who sometimes worries too much about what I have no control over.
1. I always feel inadequate and insecure when it comes to my relationship with the Lord – that I should be spending more time with Him, reading His Word more so that it changes me completely. I fear I have head knowledge and want it to become heart knowledge. I love to study and read and that tends to take the place of just "being" with God. I also feel insecure when my daughters speak to each other more than to me,seeing it as rejection.
2. "Creating a situation in which I am disappointed" – I am always setting the bar to high for my husband, setting him up for failure in my mind and so he doesn't stand a chance.
Kit, Central Islip, NY 60's married
j1. I am confronted with my insecurity when I have to meet new people or be involved in large groups where I don't know everyone. I get very uncomfortable and sometimes shut down. I feel that I have a wall up, and I can't let anyone get to know me, even though I want to. I actually yearn for connection and more friendships, and yet at the same time I fear opening up to people. I never feel good enough, educated enough, or outgoing enough. I SO MUCH want to make a difference for Christ, and I'm sad that I am letting myself and my feelings get in the way! No More!
2. Insecurity in my life is defined by my profound sense of self doubt and my total uncertainty of my basic worth or place in this world.
jen
Marty
Texas
30s
Married
I didn't realize how Insecure I actually was until I started reading this book. Wow.. I really need help. I have so much faith in this book to change me and how I see myself from now on. I really want to make the changes for myself as well as my daughters. If it tells you anything I didn't want to post my name "just in case" someone saw it that new me.. Pathetic I know!!
1)Most recently was last weekend.. my daughter was invited to a birthday party and I had my husband take her because I didn't want to be around some of the moms because of the way I allow them to make me feel. One inparticular I have to deal with a lot because we are family and our daughters are the same age in the same grade. I avoid situations at all cost to the point I have told my husband I don't want to go to Holidays anymore. We live in a small town and of course if you aren't from here it feels very hard to "fit in" I have some wonderful friends but when I get around some of the other moms I am instantly worried about what will be said about me because I am not good enough. I try to keep to myself so now I am labeled as a snob or that I think I am better. Which of course is the opposite. I am not one to talk to hear myself talk… nor do I want to try to "make" them like me so I keep to myself. So as Dr Phil says "hows that working for ya" well the answer is Not so well. The reason I don't want to do anything about it most times is Pride. Yes it hurts my feelings to think they don't like me and I wonder why.
2)The thing that got me to thinking the most is how I think IF I had a bigger house, IF I looked prettier, IF I didn't work and could stay home and go to all the school functions and school parties, IF we had more horses and a nicer horse trailer, IF my kids were perfect and always looked perfect.. THEN they (whoever they are) would like me and I would be accepted. Now the sad part is I have that husband every woman dreams of.. He tells me everyday how pretty I am and How wonderful I am, He wants to do Anything to make me happy… He is my second husband and of course my first husband was the complete opposite… So do I believe anything my husband says to me.. NO..does it hurt our relations ship YES…I didn't see it of course until I am reading this book. I am blessed beyond belief and I can't see it… I really want to close this book SECURE!! I am exhausted with allowing other people to make me feel this way.
Roll call
Linda
Las Vegas, NV
30's (turning 40 in Dec)
Married
Beth,
You do not have to post this comment on the blog. I just wanted to share something with you.
Today my husband and I went to our local Family Christian Bookstore so that I could purchase your new book. As usual we walked into the store and headed for our favorite aisles. My husband always heads for the bibles and I head over to the woman's ministry bookshelves. I picked up your book and read your acknowledgments page. I loved seeing your shout out to the Siestas. I also read that you dedicated chapter 7 to us. I headed straight for chapter 7 and started to read the stories. As I started reading one story I thought to myself, this sounds like mine. Before I could finish reading it I started crying right there in the bookstore. I walked over to my husband and I told him to read it. He started to tear up. I never thought for a minute that one of my posts would make it into a book that would be available to help other women. God is so good! Insecurity has been a bad friend that I never want to reconcile with. Thank you Beth for sharing our stories in your book and for always sharing your life with us.I look forward to going through the book with you and the other Siestas. I hope one day I can meet you and give you a big hug. I love you!
1. Journal note in book. Check.
2. This weekend I saw insecurity in our gender in an overwhelming way at a youth retreat. Young girls/women (11 to college aged) wore their insecurity like badges with some overly made-up (brought back PAINFUL memories of blue eye shadow in the early 80's), some purposely underdressed with no make-up in a defiant sort of way, some too loud, some too quiet, some boy crazy, some boy shy, etc. Most working very hard to appear a certain way. Insecurity seems to start at such a young age and, really, seems so much the same for this generation as it did for mine, which wasn't that terribly long ago.
3. I was most affected by the concept of self-doubt to the point of doubting God about myself in the definition of insecurity. I tend to become paralyzed by self-doubt. Should I do this or that? What is God telling me to do? Surely, God wouldn't trust me to do this or that. I HATE dealing with this and long to be free from the debilitating self-doubt and insecurity.
Leigh
Montgomery, AL
41
Married
Ooooh, my. Am I the only one that picked up this book just to participate in a Bible study led by Beth Moore, not because I thought I was insecure in any way? Boy, was I wrong!
Two things hit me really hard in these chapters. The first was the definition of self-consciousness. That is totally me! I never realized that my conscious obsession with whether or not everyone around me liked, disliked, judged, or even thought about me was both self-centeredness AND insecurity. For years I wouldn't even go out shopping by myself because I was concerned that others in the store would see me alone and think I was friendless. Can you imagine how ridiculous? Wow.
The second was on page 25 when you talked about being so blessed in a relationship we don't realize we are being demanding. That's so me. I am the woman with the (almost) perfect husband. He helps with laundry, the baby, the dishes… He always asks me what he can do for me, and yes, he DOES offer massages. I am so spoiled by him that the littlest thing that he does wrong will make me forget about how blessed I am by all the other things. I didn't realize it was insecurity, but it is obviously unhealthy. If studying this book can help me change that, I will be so happy.
Thank you, Beth, for writing this book! It is going to be a bigger blessing to me than I ever imagined.
Sarah
Albuquerque, NM
20s
Married
Kristi
Texas
30's
1. Last time I saw insecurity: myself not wanting to talk in front of people because of what they may think when I stand up or walk up in front of everyone. Don't think I measure up. May sound stupid. My voice might shake. Might think my butt is too big..(being honest here about my worriess). Etc, etc, etc.
2. Definition of insecurity that resonates with me: NOT secure. There are some things in my life that I'm actually certain I am good at. Not perfect…but confident in my abilities.
Then there are those things that I am not confident about that eat at me…sometimes daily. Approval from everyone…want to be liked. I harbor feelings of inadequacy if someone appears not to like me or disprove of me. Whether I've done anything or not. Not confident on my looks…not always confident to defend myself to those that are intent on hindering my spirit or abilities.
And Mama Beth…let me just say, thank you Sister. I get it from reading this book. As I look at my child and know the love I have for her no matter what she does, I'm beginning to get just a fraction of what His love for me. I'm becoming more confident in it. And oh…how I know … He does not want INSECURITY for us. Thank you for writing out this path!
1)Today…and everyday. At church I notice a woman was noticing the necklace I was wearing… I just wanted to hide. What was she thinking?!? Last night…does my husband 'like' me? I don't know. I know he 'loves' me but does he like me? I'm getting older, fat, and blah.
2)How do I pick 'a' part of the definition?
**profound sense of self-doubt
**chronic self-consciousness–and I don't even like myself!!!!
**chronic lack of confidence
**fear of rejection (although, the older I get the less I seem to care if people accept me or not)
1. At a recent marriage conference at our church I was struck the most with my own personal insecurity. The speakers were talking about our "deepest fears" and how we all have one biggie that stems from childhood. I think the Lord was preparing me to go on this journey of unlocking and ultimately disarming my insecurity because I discovered my deepest fear and what has caused it, which leads me to the second question….
2. The "fear of rejection" struck me the most, because that is my deepest fear. It has developed in me through many experiences growing up and now is the main "root" of my insecurity. 99.9% of all my negative behaviors and reactions stem from this deep-rooted fear in me.
I'm ready to conquer it!
Amber
Houston
20s
Married
Mary Lisa, Glenwood, MN
40s & Married
1. My husband has taken the scale from me because I was getting on it every day and whatever the scale read set the tone for my day. Even a fraction of a pound could throw it off. Who besides me knew what the scale said? Who beside me really cared? This week I made him get it out because I had a dream that I weighed twice as much as I do. I believed a dream more than my pants.
2. The part of the definition that talked about being unsure if your feelings were legitimate — and how!
Dear Beth,
I will admit — as one of a small group of fellow sojourners via your Bible studies, I bought "So Long Insecurity" for one reason only: The hope of being able to get in line and give you a card from our Monday night group. We heard you would be at signings in Birmingham and just wanted you to know how we are blessed by how the Lord works through you and how He has impacted us through your studies.
I knew I had a little problem with insecurity, and cannot tell you how much this book has helped unravel those knots of it that I didn't realize. The prayer petition is especially impactful, humbling, and freeing.
Thank you.
Harper
I John 4:7-10
3. The parts that resonated with me the most were chronic self-consciousness and constant fear of rejection. I have felt both of these things since early childhood, and they've been my companions ever since.
Christi in AZ
30's & married
1) I'm still working on writing in the front of my book. I feel God and I have been dealing with this issue for a while now and while He is opening my eyes to so much and helping realize that He made me unique, and I need to embrace that uniqueness, I still find myself giving into old habits………
2) The last time I came face-to-face with our massive struggle was Wednesday…..I volunteer tutor and one of my students parents took her out of our tutoring program and put her in another one because the young person needs a lot of help….I took this very personally even though I know deep down it has nothing to do with me it was still hard at first…..
3)I think at some point I struggle with all aspects of the definition of insecurity, but self-doubt seems to be the biggest one!
Becky
Clinton, MO
30's
Single
I won't be able to start until friends arrive later this month with my new Kindle and I can buy the book. But I'm going to follow the discussion and dive right in as soon as it arrives 🙂
God blessed me with a husband who saw my struggles of trying to get books here (shipping from the U.S. is expensive AND not altogether dependable as packages have gone missing in transit) so he's getting me a Kindle. It worked out well that friends are coming to visit and can bring it so we don't have to trust it to the postal system here! 🙂
1) I just got married. Although, my husband has never given me reason to feel this way but I have had a hard time not comparing myself to what a wife should be. How she should look, what kind of mom (step mom, but the only mom in the picture) I should be and act ect…
2) The part of the definition that resonates most with me is the profound sense of self-doubt, and worth. Also the uncertainty about my own feelings. I just feel like no matter what I do it is never enough and since I am not enough why should I trust that my feelings are accurate, or even if I have the right to feel that way.
1. Last Wed. at the book signing. We all were reluctant to post our photos on facebook because according to us,"we all looked fat"…now that is insecurity! Then just yesterday, I had a new jacket I thought was really "Spiff" and my daughter all but made fun of it! Causing me to wonder, ok, should I have bought this???? Why can't I just be me???
2. Self consciousness, worry about what others think.
Thank you Beth for taking so much time with us last Wed. in Birmingham. You are precious in God's sight!
Sharron
Hartselle, Al
1948
Kristy
Woodstock, GA
30's
Married 9 years
1-While with my family most of the talk with my sisters is about weight, clothes, getting older…
2- The whole of both definitions resonated with me, but "deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate" is a good one. Each month when hormones get raging and emotions seem out of control, I wonder, "Am I crazy? Am I all alone in these feelings? How in the world do I reign them in?"
Also, I can sure enough create some miserable situations for myself!! (and my poor husband and kids!)
Sorry I forgot
Christy
Springfield, MO
20's
Married
1) The most recent example of insecurity was just yesterday when I had to convince my 14-year-old that the purple tights she was bold enough to buy were perfectly fine to actually wear.
2) Picking one part of the definition is really hard. So much of it hits home, but probably the "constant fear of rejection" is what motivates the choices and actions that make up my life.
Jayne
40's married
Washington, NC
1. It was a wave of insecurity more than a precise moment. I'm 5 months pregnant and I don't feel very attractive. I think I base a lot of my importance on the way I look or the way people react to the way I look and right now I"m not getting that. Though it's not as bad as it has been with my last three pregnancies, so I know I've at least grown!
2. "Chronic self-consciousness" makes me laugh because it's so true of me. I"m always wondering what others think of me.
Lanaya in Florida, 30 yrs old, married 10 years.
1) I taught high school English for five years before I quit to become a full-time mom. I always got frustrated with the young ladies in my classes who refused to speak up in class, or if they did, they would provide their comments in a very apologetic, puppy dog sort of way. These were often smart girls who excelled in many areas, and to watch them cheerleading or on the stage performing in some way, you'd never guess the insecurity they displayed in the classroom. I often wondered if things would be different if it were an all-girl class.
2) The part of the definition that had me all over it was the chronic self-consciousness part. Constantly self-aware, even though my mom used to tell me on one was noticing what I wore or how I looked because they were all too worried about who was noticing their hair or clothes.
Angie
Blacksburg Va
30s
married
Melissa
Shreveport,La.
30's
Married
sometimes I just don't feel pretty..that makes me feel insecure.
the definition that resonates with me most is having profound self doubt. Am I good enough to do the job? I ask myself that all the time.
1) The last time I was faced with insecurity was last night talking with my 8 year old daughter. She is beautiful inside and out. She started to cry over a 'bump' that came up on her forehead and said she looked like a freak. Broke my heart. We had a long conversation, but I went to bed feeling a little ill about how young it all starts with our gender. Yuck! This morning, she woke and came to kiss me 'Good Morning' laughing saying she looks like she's from India. Cracked me up. She's 8. Now, she's learning another defense mechanism … laughing through tears. Geez.
2) 'to be chronically conscious of self' stuck out at me. I realized that my overwhelming feeling of anxiousness at times is the result of insecurities and concern about how I will be perceived.
Also, I've thought all week about something else you mentioned in Chapter 2 … when I spend so much time doubting myself and the things God has asked me to do, what I'm really doing is doubting God for using me. Ouch. I can't get that thought out of my head. How much do I really trust Him for desiring to use someone like me?
Thanks, Beth! Loving this book.
Hickory, NC
1.“We can think we’ve murdered that monster once and for all….” I face insecurity every day that my eating disorder raises his ugly head to tell me that I’m not thin enough. He likes to tell me that all that matters is my body and it must be the thinnest in the room or I am worthless. I was ill from 2005-2007. Now, it’s less of a struggle, but in the stressful times, disordered behaviors are my default. I have to fight hard and trust God that his voice is the right one.
2. “…a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth.” Chronic? You bet. I have never felt that I measure up to people around me. I’m either not dressed well enough, don’t have the correct car, not thin enough, not smart enough…. Due to this bone-deep insecurity, I harbor jealousies, fears, and anxieties. I have two voices that want to help – God and ED (eating disorder). I’m learning to trust God every time I hear that old, old friend ED speak to me. Writing is a cleansing tool for me. Last summer I published the story of my journey with ED, and I’m blogging now. I feel like I’m taking steps toward full recovery, not just band-aids.
The post Anonymous on Feb 14th at 10:14 best describes my insecurities. Does my Husband like me. I know he loves me but does he like me. I don't even like myself. Im getting older and fat. I have this fear of rejection and self-consciousesness. If I don't think I look a certain way I feel bad and can't be chipper and happy. I base how I look on what others might think. If I don't look a certain way or act a certain way then others will reject me. How stupid is that?
The post Anonymous on Feb 14th at 10:14 best describes my insecurities. Does my Husband like me. I know he loves me but does he like me. I don't even like myself. Im getting older and fat. I have this fear of rejection and self-consciousesness. If I don't think I look a certain way I feel bad and can't be chipper and happy. I base how I look on what others might think. If I don't look a certain way or act a certain way then others will reject me. How stupid is that?
I was given this book for Christmas by one of my closest christian sisters. Thats when my latest bout with insecurity stepped in. What was she trying to tell me..nothing except how much she loves me and know matter how uneducated or overweight I am I am still just as worthy as anyone else. I am joint heirs with Jesus. 2)When your look up the definition to insecurity there's my picture. Marie, Eclectic , Al single
Lisa
30's and married
heck, i'm insecure about what to write on here. i've been mulling it over for days trying to figure out what to write, wondering if whatever i put is going to be good enough, already used, if it should be about me or someone else. that's insecurity in and of itself! oh my gosh!
the part of the definition that is most "me" would probably be 'a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships.'