So Long Insecurity Week One!

Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.

We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.

I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.

So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.

OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.

2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.

3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?

To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.

Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.

For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.

No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.

Thank you for coming!

Lord, be magnified.

In His lavish love,


1,429 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week One!”

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  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Father, may you bless Beth and her entire crew with sweet sleep. May she rise and be refreshed in your love and amazing grace. Father I thank you that each person You would have her meet tomorrow be a God ordained appointment in which women are refreshed by your wonderful servant who is a reflection of your love. Father I thank you for the ministry that you have given Beth and the amazing ways You touch our lives through her.

  2. 2
    Leslie says:

    Mama Beth and Fellow Getting Securer Siestas'
    1) A friend from work and I were going to take our lunch break together. She forgot and went to lunch without me and spent the rest of the afternoon apologizing at every opportunity for forgetting me…and I felt awful that she felt bad!!!
    2)The concept of a prominent false positive really resonated with my soul. My false positive seems to change from day to day,(if that's possible), whatever the "focus du jour" is it preoccupies my vision and it is all I can see! Thanks for the heads up that is isn't truth…and that HE IS!!!
    Clinton, UT

  3. 3
    Deb says:

    1. The most recent example of insecurity that I have seen is in my 12 year old, preteen daughter. She developed a horrible zit on her chin that morphed into something unrecognizable. When her friends at school asked her what it was, she told them she got hit by a rock while playing outside.
    2. The part of the definition that resonates with me is a no-brainer…its the very reason I had to read this book, "the insecure woman lives in constant fear of rejection….a deep uncertainty about whether her feelings are legitimate." I struggle greatly with a family relationship in which me and mine are not related by blood. The favortism shown to the blood relatives completely kills me. God has worked with me for years on forgiveness, and now I get to practice it a lot. But how do I deal with a heart with a gapping wound?

  4. 4
    Deb says:

    Deb, from 3rd comment:
    Scranton, AR
    happily married 🙂

  5. 5
    Michele says:

    On Oprah yesterday, some nuns were
    speaking and they said, "Our culture is bombarded
    with images that undermines the dignity of a human person."
    Then, Lisa Ling said, "Why did these young women choose to become nuns?" She continued, "These women had successful lives, but they never felt they could be skinny enough, or consume enough, and they always felt this underlying INSECURITY! They wanted more out of life!"
    THANK YOU Mama Beth for heeding HIS CALL!

  6. 6
    HIS.GAL says:

    Our Father, I just want to agree in the prayer that 'Anonymous' prayed which posted at 12:45am today.
    Love to Beth and co-workers and to all Sistas,
    Danville, KY

  7. 7
    Hannah says:

    Hannah from Alabama
    20's and married

    1. I recently ranted about (to my poor husband) about one of my friends doing what she does best, being hospitalble, and being crafty, marvelous, and so cute while doing it. I was insecure that he would think she was better than me, for this particular season in my life, I just am not like that, but so desire to have the energy and heart to be like that, not only for being that way, but also to be better than her. I know its petty, but I feel insecure because, well, she is great at being herself, and I am not.

    2. The part of the definition of insecurity that hit me most was the "chronic self-consciousness". I often think of myself so much because of my own insecurities, that I do not think of others, which in turn makes me callous to thier insecurities. 🙁

  8. 8
    niccitse says:

    Waterloo, Belgium
    34 and married

    I just wanted to say to Hannah from Alabama–that is some profound honesty! "I feel insecure because she is great at being herself and I'm not". I feel that way constantly. I pick apart women who are my friends because I'm jealous of who they are and find the parts of me that aren't them. Of course I'm not them. I'm me! Your post really resonated with me. PS My 5 year old daughter's name is Hannah
    @ Michelle, I watched that Oprah as well and loved those strong confident nuns. We know where their confidence comes from!

  9. 9
    ssprap says:

    Roll call

    Powder Springs

  10. 10
    Danne says:

    Roll call
    Jamestown, MI

  11. 11
    The Bee says:

    It is in my Face NOW!!!

    I have to say I was pretty secure and was going down my journey with speed and confidence, when a speed bump placed strategically by my loving heavenly Father rattled the security right out a me!

    Let me explain…I was brought up in a large family, all eleven of us were birthed by my mom by the time she was 36. I am smack dab in the middle, my dad drank and my mom, well bless her heart, did not handle it well…who could have with out Christ. Any way she was physically abusive and at the time did not know how to convey motherly love to so many children.(Enter the perpetrators) The sexual abuse on top of the physical abuse on top of the emotional barren desert. Not such a good breeding ground for security…

    I sought a way out…marriage, I thought that would make me an adult and I could command by position the "hands off"! So, at sixteen I married…at eighteen I met Jesus Christ and plunged into a relationship with him like I have never experienced before! My sins forgiven, my life changing… security! I, yes I, was changing the course of my family! Truely a believer salvation secure!

    Salvation secure, I trusted God for my eternal life and worked fervently to keep me safe in this life as I knew at the time that God couldn't… I don't know if I am conveying what I am trying to say…I could trust God with my eternal state but not my earthly safety…everything I did I did hoping that he would love me, hoping he would protect me and my family of now three children. I was working for his favor on earth…I knew I had eternal life through the work of Jesus, the Son of God, the Crucified One…My security was on MY righteousness. I applied all that I learned, I stood confident that my righteousness and forced righteousness on my children would secure safety.

    But then the dreaded happened!All that I had done to protect was as for nothing! My daughter had succumbed the same "fate" — Molestation! where in my case it happened over and over again and with different perpetrators; her case we nippied it in the pud with action! But it still threw me into a tailspin of insecurity like no other!!!

    I lost all hope in God…was hospitalized…but praise be to God my Father, he had in place believers, yes my psychiatrist was a believer! In a place that was not Christain, God placed his workers for me in this very time of my life!

    God was taking care of me! He, God, began showing me truth that I needed and would not hear in my self righteousness! Yes, I was a child of God, yes, his Spirit continuely bore witness in me, but I would not give him my life up until this point because my belief system was as such that said, "God can take care of the eternal but failed miserable with in the affairs of my life. Does this make sense?

    Anyway, I do know different now! And have been growing in my understanding some. I am doing the study of Esther!

    I do though struggle having a woman's body, I would like to be genderless! No man would want to touch me and I would not hate the body that looks back at me in the mirror. (Yes, I am in counseling!)

    I resonate with most with is profound sense of self-doubt–a deep feeling of uncertainty about my basic worth and place in the world.

    God is using this vessel as He is bringing healing…By His grace and mercy he is allowing me to love and serve Him as he loved and served my in Jesus.

    I love you Beth and I have sincerely prayed that prayer in Chapter 9…

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Oh, Mamma Beth…
    Do something for me please…
    Go to For Better For Worse Web site and read 2/11/10 comic strip!! It is so funny and relates to insecurity, YES GID has a sense of humor.
    Still waiting for my book to come in the mail cant wait to go on this journey!!
    PS I recentlt stopped dying my hair & love the new me!!

    Bernardsville, NJ
    divorced/single again 🙂

  13. 13
    Angela says:

    West Bend, WI
    1. My husband had a tendancy to talk about how attractive other women are that he's ran into. I know he would NEVER cheat on me but I felt the need to compete with women I've NEVER seen! I explained how it made me feel and he has since stopped.
    2. Chronic self-consciousness, living in constant fear of rejection! I have so much fear that a lot of times when I meet people I don't act like me and they never get to know me in the first place!

  14. 14
    Three Fold Cord says:

    I am still waiting on the book I ordered from the link from your website. I might just go to the book store and read it 😉

  15. 15
    Tisah says:

    Beth, I met you yesterday in Birmingham. Thank you so much. I'm excited about this interaction with so many Siestas! Be safe in your travels and I'm getting right to work on my first assignment. May God continue to bless you.

  16. 16
    Lisa Lynn says:

    Book in hand, Ready to go. Posted by yours truly, Ms. Insecurity herself! Lisa, Eagle, Idaho age 53 (almost). Love ya Beth!

  17. 17
    Lisa Lynn says:

    Oh yeah, and I'm married. And SOOOOO ready for this and sooooo need it.

  18. 18
    jessikaans says:

    I was talking to a friend regarding some things I was going through and she told me about this study. I am very excited to close the book as a secure woman!

    Jessie Whitley
    Palm Coast, FL

  19. 19
    Sister Lynn says:

    Sister Lynn
    Clyde, MO

    1)This year I am studying away from the convent. All my insecurities came into play as I sized myself up against the rest of the women in the group and found myself lacking to some and felt superior to others. UGH!
    2) "anxiety about relationships" this is where I struggle the MOST. And what has made me do the stupidest things.

  20. 20
    Chile siesta says:

    1)Sunday we had family over for the big game. Uncontiously I was swaying to the music that Queen La T was singing at half time. I looked over to see my daughter and her husband trying to contain themselves from laughing. Immediately I started asking what, what, what's so funny as I was brushing my hand up and down my body thinking that something about my "appearence"(not my bodies response to the music) was making them laugh. I need to overcome that immediate "Oh what are they thinking of me mentality!"

    2)Loss of favor, approval and HARMONY is the big one for me!!! You hit the insecure button there!

    Deming, NM

  21. 21
    Kelly Jo says:

    First time to Blog anything/anywhere. I so enjoyed hugging Beth's neck yesterday at Books a Million in Birmingham, Alabama. I have already begun reading and I have already been impacted head on by this incredible book. I enjoyed Beth's energy you could truly see the life and love of Christ in her apperance, eyes, body language and the wonderful gift of time. Kelly Jo Morrison from Birmingham, Alabama late 40's divorced not dating don't trust,insecurity issues

  22. 22
    April and Doug says:

    1) I didn't realize I was so insecure until I started reading this book! I guess I've just been in denial. I'm insecure about everything – E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.! From the wife, mother I am to the friend and Christian I am. (I'm also currently doing Breaking Free, so I'm getting a double dose! But obviously I need it.) I also love Hannah's from Alabamas post. I think I'm just insecure about just being me – and I can't figure out what's so wrong with just being me, but I'm scared of it!

    2) Definition wise? The entire thing! I'm a wreck! I struggle with my basic worth and my place. Let me explain – I'm a step-mom and I've had a very hard time in the past 7 years as to where my place is with my step daughter. No matter what I do it's never the right thing – either it's too much or too less. And I live with constant fear of rejection And I question if my desires are just.

    Williamson, GA
    29 (for a few more months)
    Married (mother to two amazing boys)

  23. 23
    LD from Olathe,KS says:

    1. I was in a prayer group leader session preparing to begin your Esther study…the 6th one at MY home:) As I was praying with these Godly women whom I love and adore I was struck with such an inadequacy in prayer that it paralyzed me and I had to leave the room.
    2. I am coming to realize I have a fear of rejection and a sense of invalidness that is deep rooted. A fourth daughter whose mother was hospitalized for depression after my birth and when the blessed son was born 6 years later, my "place" was lost….then he was killed 3 years ago and my folks can't recover. Finished this book in 3 days…do you think I needed it? Thanks beth!
    40's, married

  24. 24
    Michele says:

    Grapevine TX

    2) Women's Bible study at any church, anywhere. When are we going to BELIEVE GOD and what He says about us in Christ instead of hovering in our cliques with cutting eyes and judgmentalism??? That SCREAMS of insecurity!!!

    3) "…and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitmate." God has begun the healing of growing up under an enabling mom and an angry dad. Watching her put on a happy face to keep the peace no matter what wrought havoc in my life. However, thanks to God alone, I'm not where I used to be and am on the road to wholeness in Christ in every sense of the word. I am valuable to God, praise His Name forevermore!!!! Thank you for this book!!!

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    1. When I glanced in the mirror this morning before hopping in the shower. I have NO chest, and this has always caused me to feel like less of a woman. Now to top it off, I have an 8-inch incision scar smack down the middle from a recent heart surgery. It normally doesn't bother me, until I'm faced with it in the mirror, especially if there's a chance my husband may walk in the bathroom. (and since my 58-year old mom just got breast implants)
    2. "unrealistic expectations in relationship" – I find myself putting up a walls of protection when things are going really well in our (my husband and my's) relationship. I don't want to get hurt again, and I think, subconsciously I won't if I'm not too attached. Pretty selfish, huh?!

  26. 26 says:

    San Tan Valley, AZ

    Oh Lord, bless sweet Beth and her family. Thank you for the anticipation in my heart and the work you will do in and through my heart as I commit to reading this book and your Word. I am expecting great things and I praise you for the foreshadowing of these great things. Today is my birthday and my heart is celebrating a bit different than it has in previous years…I AM a beloved daughter of a King….so loved by my Heavenly Father and the security I have in Him is beginning to burst forth from my bones!!! Thank you Jesus!! And I have yet to even lay eyes of Beth's book…I am expecting it to be in my mailbox today. So excited…and I am smiling 🙂

  27. 27
    Melinda says:

    Good morning Sweet Sisters! I completely get the fact that an insecure woman is a complicated mix of confidence and self-consciousness.

    50yrs+16mos : )
    Married my high school sweetie♥

  28. 28
    karen says:

    Hartsgrove, OH
    50 newbie

    1)I had already answered the first question on my blog on Feb 3rd. Instead of rewriting…here's the link.

    2)"a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic self worth…"

    "…a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate."

    "The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable."

    and, of course,….

    "Not secure."

  29. 29
    Amy says:

    1. The removal of a recent facial skin cancer and follow up to a plastic surgeon caused an emotional reaction that I didn't even realize was there and caused fear of losing my face piece by piece.
    2. The fear of rejection coupled with a false positive has a tendency to rock my world with surprise knee jerk reactions to things other people would think are just silly. So much so lately that I think this book's timing was just for me!
    50s and married

  30. 30
    God'sGirlzROCk! says:

    I've recently discovered that insecurity is definitely a girl thing! (not that men don't have their own struggles too). But my most recent experience with it was standing in front of a group of 20 pre-teen girls (8-12) as we started a new Bible Study (My BFF, Jesus). I was shocked to hear them talk about all of their mean girl moments, feelings of rejection, etc. Those experiences have already wounded their young hearts, and insecurity has definitely set in! What I've learned is that most of our insecurities are triggered by other women. In a group of girls, they spread like wildfire! Our own insecurities trigger them in our Siestas too! And one of my biggest insecurities right now is teaching these young girls about friendship with other girls when I'm not even sure that I'm qualified in this subject!! I'm praying that at the end of this journey we will all be in a better place, so we can pass this wisdom down to our daughters as well..


  31. 31
    Laurie says:

    1) I saw insecurity in myself and my friend as we sat at a restaurant to chat yesterday. She talked how great her friendships are and how blessed she was and it was hard for me not to see it as bragging. Maybe she was using that as a crutch to verify herself? I also felt like people don't want to be my friend often enough. So it was hard to sit there and listen.
    2)Those survey questions really nailed me. I felt the same way you do on the bulls-eye ones. I fear loss of approval too much. I realized how insecure I am.
    I will be hugging you in Nashville today in spirit! wish I could really be there like I wanted. Love and hugs, Laurie, Memphis, TN 30's, married.

  32. 32
    NancyG@FBC says:

    To see that almost 6,000 women have signed up at role call over the last few days just shows that this topic needs addressed. Thank you for the book Beth; as well as for the place to see that we are not alone. I am so looking forward to seeing God work in us and through us. May God Bless all who are participating.

  33. 33
    Dan, Nicky, Zef and Evie says:

    Taipei, Taiwan (but from NZ)

    1. I feel defensive (read insecure) when someone i love and respect will talk about how good another friend is a something that I may not be… makes me feel a failure and that something is wrong with me that I can not do it too….. but at the same time I am berating myself for not celebrating my friend's success!

    2. Something I struggle with is feeling that someone doesn't like me, or doesn't really talk to me much because they think I am dumb, or a hussy or dress inappropriately. *sigh*

  34. 34
    sweet pea mom says:

    1. everyday there's an event that happens to harbor insecurity. But I guess one that is on my mind is a political conversation I had with a client the other day. I am not really a poltcal person but I always fear of offending someone in general conversation. The talk of politics fueled that fear. Espcially since I get my views by what I hear instead of searching for myself. I wished I would have steered the coversation in another direction. The bottom line, my insecurity comes from the fear of saying something stupid and offending or hurting another fellow insecure friend (sister).
    2.I definitely struggle with self-doubt. Page 17 describes it perfectly.

    I passed by that chapter and related to it but contined to press on reading with profound interest. However, these questions help me to stop, focus and reflect on what I need to acknowlege to get over the insecurity. Thanks Beth. I' am continuing to keep you in prayer as you finish your travels. You are the dearest friend I wish I knew personally.


  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    1) Sunday at church when I felt so self-concious about my hair (I had even used one of those color stick things at home that morning to try to conceal the worst parts)

    2) Perfectionism as cover for insecurity


  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Inscurity has been a life long battle. There is something heartbreaking about a small child wondering–Am I loved-Am I important.This has followed me all my life.Even as a christian I am still haunted by those feelings. I
    want to be the strong woman God created me to be. I don,t want the way I look on the outside to dictate who I am and who I can be
    in christ. My heart is ready to be healed-forever
    In Jesus name

  37. 37
    Donna says:

    To Anonymous on comment about "For Better or Worse" comice strip…that one is going on my refrigerator door! LOL!! I am so excited about taking this trip with Beth and all the Siestas…opening the book a very insecure woman and (prayerfully) closing it a secure woman in Christ Jesus.
    Love to all….

  38. 38
    ThirtysomethingMom says:

    1. I teach 7th graders. I see insecurity in so many forms everyday. I even see it in teachers who need constant affirmation.
    2 "A deep uncertainty about whether her feelings are legitimate." I had these type of feelings for many years. It wasn't until I was in my 30's until God gave a better grip on uncertainty. God's still working on me.
    Ardmore, AL

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    I had a great time meeting Beth last night in B'ham! My 1year old even took her first steps while we were waiting in that 2.5 hour line!! I hate to admit it, but I took almost 3 hours getting "cute" yesterday to go to the book signing, and got very frustrated with myself when I kept telling my 6 year old to "please don't mess up Momma's hair/makeup/etc because I fixed it just right for Miss Beth." Really, Lane? I know I always want to look nice for myself, but how many times have I wasted time & pushed my family aside when I was trying to impress someone else with my looks/house/career/life? Great…now I feel even more insecure…
    Lane, Alabama
    30's, Married

  40. 40
    Carol B. says:

    I have been reading many of your comments and I am looking forward to joining this journey with so many of you. To know that I'm not alone with this insecurity issue is somehow comforting to me. I've been dealing with insecurity pretty much my whole life and it is a relief to be able to talk about it with others.
    Newton, KS
    50's and married

  41. 41
    Rebecca says:

    late 30's
    1)I'm fed up with living in a world that is so caught up with appearance. I can't even go to the grocery store anymore without those provocative magazine covers at the checkout saying, "this is what a woman should look like" or "this is what a man wants to see"! I found myself comparing my looks to them and thinking "I should look more like that or I need to be a little skinnier here, oh, look at her hair, etc..or, "my husband would be so blessed if I looked like that",(until the Lord showed me how wrong and unhealthy that is). I have an incredible husband who loves me just the way I am, but I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy at times.

    2)"the insecure woman lives in constant fear of rejection….a deep uncertainty about whether her feelings are legitimate."

  42. 42
    danae says:

    beth, i simply love the idea of journaling a prayer at the beginning of the book! i tend to journal throughout entire books in the margins!

    1. i always feel insecure when i teach. i've taught teen and college girl bible studies/classes for years, but even this past sunday, i was afraid i'm not getting through to them, that they're bored, that my curriculum isn't relevant… i get lots of comments to the contrary, and many close friends have tried to convince me i was called to be a teacher. and even though i know God is the source of anything good from it, i would like to be secure in His calling for me…

    2. two parts of the definition nail me the most:

    a. "a profound sense of self-doubt… about our place in the world." i've always wanted to write (and do), but i have a hard time believing i have anything to write worth reading!

    b. "anxiety about our relationships… constant fear of rejection." i have a hard time believing or understanding why others want to be my friends…

    lafayette, in
    28 and married

  43. 43
    kbcrzy says:

    My biggest insecurity is that I have always felt like I couldnt measure up with the media portrayal of what a woman should look like, wear, be and do. It is ever in our faces ladies.

    I tend to also put down and judge others that I am threatened by. Realizing that I need to stop and remember that even if someone looks like they "have it all", she is dealing with the same things as I.

    For me the whole journey is about learning to live loved and secure in Fathers arms, for He made us all to be different shapes, sizes and personalities and we are all worthy of love and feeling secure in Him. The battle is in the mind!

  44. 44
    Linda says:

    Tulsa, Ok
    1. My recent insecurity is with a man. When it comes to relationships with men I am so insecure in myself that I'm attracted to men that treat me like no woman should be treated. I think it goes to my being sexually abused when I was a child and therefore grew up thinking whatever men did to me was ok. That is was my fault. That's my comfort zone. When a I date a nice guy I run for cover. I don't deserve that. Well guess what I'm ticked and a scorned woman. So long bad friend.
    2.The paragraph describing insecurity hit home…The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable.
    Even after Christian counseling I still struggled with this cycle of
    insecurity. I know God has brought this book to me at this time in my life because I'm finally at a point to give all my insecurities to Jesus.

  45. 45
    Joyce says:

    Dear Lord, Here lies the help I needed so long and did not how to get answers. No amount of counselling would help, because you are my Cousellor. Trying to hide my feeling, running away or ignoring my insecurity will not solve what I has followed me through the years. Help me and others to learn what you have for us and apply it to our lives. Thank you, God that Beth and others care enough to lead us in your Word on the right track to freedom and your love.
    2) My mother's dad was verbally abusive and there were other things he did. So, for some reason my mother who loved so much wanted to control me. I felt like I was never good enough, no self-esteem, I would always mess up and I would be a failure.
    3)Feeling rejection is a big-gy for me. Being part of a group and being left out really hurts, yet always wanting to have a friend and wanting to be apart of a group seem so hard for me.
    Well, I feel alittle better to get all this out. Enjoy you trips.
    My family and I went through Nashville and the Smoky Mts. during Christmas time.

  46. 46
    Jo says:

    I participated in a concert to raise money for Haiti and Convoy of Hope and I was the oldest person singing and I did not play my own instrument! Everyone else was under 24 and played guitar! I became so insecure about the talents God has bestowed on me that I wanted to leave before I ever went on stage because I was wondering if I could even relate to the audience or if they would boo me off the stage.

    The part of the definition that screamed my name was the very last sentence about living in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether my feelings and desires are legit! I fight these feelings every day in one form or another and the only way I feel better is when I get some type of affirmation to let me know I matter!
    Mattoon, IL

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    1. Although I know I cannot be all things to everyone, I continue to try and usually fail. Even when I am successful the outcome isn't always what I expect and I still "feel" like I have failed. I take everything way to personally as a result of insecurity. I wear responsibilities that are not mine and I often assume the blame for things I am innocent of. It is a daily battle and thankfully I am becoming more and more victorious as I learn to lay it at the foot of the cross.

    2. The part of the definition of insecurity that hit home with me is the very first sentence: Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt, a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world.

    Lusby, MD

  48. 48
    Shawna says:

    Bellingham, WA

    1. The insecurity that I observe most frequently in myself and my single friends is the impact that the inquiries around our dating or romantic lives can have. I can work 50 hours in a job that makes more than my married friends combined incomes, volunteer and lead childrens programs at church, be finishing my Masters degree at the same time, volunteer in the community, living for Jesus – and the first question my married gal friends want to know is if I am seeing someone – and remaining open to the possibility. I once said to a Christian friend that I honestly thought she would be happier if I told her I had a sexual encounter and had gotten pregnant vs. my usual fairly bland updates on the subject, and her eyes lit up and her first response was, "You are seeing someone!" …

    2. Chronic self consciousness even when trying to blend in. A pretty outgoing person, and for the most part secure with myself, I realized in this definition however that in many settings I am unconsciously running the "all about me internal thought dialogue".

    Looking forward to the blog Beth – and really enjoying the book already. (If enjoyed is described by some painful moans of self identification!)

  49. 49
    Jennifer says:

    to Kathleen re: the comic strip….I loved it! Thank you for sharing! I even posted it on my facebook with a note about reading Beth's book instead of dying my hair. 🙂

    jonesboro, AR

  50. 50
    Joy says:

    Chattanooga, Tn
    How freeing it is to admit my insecurity and to be able to label them. Papa has shown me how much they have crippled me and my relationships. Self doubt and self consciousness has been a very bad friend. Perfectionism has been my cover. Fear and anxieties over loss of favor and approval have plagued my relationships. Poor body image has affected my marriage.
    I am confident of one thing, though. Jesus does want to heal me and my heart open and ready to receive it. Praise Him!

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