Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.
We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.
I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.
So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.
OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.
2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.
Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.
For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.
No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.
Thank you for coming!
Lord, be magnified.
In His lavish love,
Beth
Will have enough money to pay my therapy bill and will I have enough to retire one day, in the very distant future I hope.
Will my job be secure, absolutely! but I still sometimes feel insecure.
Self doubt. Will others approve, like, respect …rejection
Kathy
Mtn. Home AR
40's
1. The biggest insecurity I've noticed lastely has came from a dear friend of mine. I am having some health issues and am covered up at work. This combination has caused me to spend a lot less time with my friend who has on several occasions metioned that I'm not treating her like a friend any more.
2. Uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world – I just want to just to where my worth and place in Christ eye's is what drives me.
Kristi
Rogersville, TN
30s
Married
California
30's
Married
Totally wish I was feeling witty & funny like some of you cute gals on here. I guess it's insecure that I want to apologize for my brutal honesty??? Blech!
1. There is rarely a day when insecurity does not rob me of my Joy, purpose & so much else. The most recent situation that just continues to stick with me was with a partner in women’s ministry at church. Although we both felt called to the place we were in ministry, the relationship never seemed to flow. There was constant tension & disharmony & conflict. I left the ministry and have not been able to fully release the hurt that haunts me from that failed relationship. We have attempted to discuss “what happened” and it just doesn’t seem to leave me. The sentence that stood out to me in chapter two was, “Loss of favor and approval and harmony is excrutiating to people with insecurity.” That is so me!!! Writing about it puts a lump in my throat. This has left me with a huge lack of confidence about God’s role for me at church, in women’s ministries & otherwise. I hate the insecurity in me and I pray for God to heal & remove this from me!
2. What part didn’t might be a shorter answer! 🙂 Here are the top 3 things that I put huge stars and underlined:
“…a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate”
“Loss of favor and approval and harmony is excrutiating to people with insecurity.”
“…she is ordinarily more aware of herself than she tends to be of any other person in the room.”
This is extremely painful already. I hate the insecurity in me. Reading these first 3 chapters points out the ugliness in me that I’ve tried to hide for so long & I absolutely hate that they remain even after growing so close to my Savior. Oh, how I want healing from You, Lord! I may be alone in this but I feel extremely depressed & discouraged at this point & I’m craving healing, understanding & answers! I have to keep reading or I might just quit & go hide under the covers!
Yesterday….silly I know but…..a woman came into my ofc that was five years younger than me and I honestly thought she was at least that much older than me.
Today my boss commented on her, he wasn't thinking she was "hottie" but when I asked him how old he thought she was…well he gave an age that was eight years younger than me, but said I still look 20 years younger than I am…
I know I look much younger but I was still shocked that he thought she looked younger in real age….does that make any sense to anyone….
2. All …. self doubt, a feeling of uncertainty, rejection
single
40's
Unfortunately it seems to be able to raise up it's ugly head at any time in many types of situations. Of course I mean within myself. My most recent battle seems to be connected with a young disciple of mine that made some bad decisions so then she chose to break fellowship with me. It hurts my heart so deeply. I know it hurts God's heart too that she has broken fellowhsip with Him, I know that is part of it. But, the obsession to want to help her and be a part of her life I believe comes from getting my security from being used by the Lord to speak truth into her life and being able to minister to her through the power of the Holy Spirit. My true security is not coming from who I am in Christ. Where it should be coming from. This happened to me before when I was serving the Lord in Africa. You would think that I would have seen it coming but being used by Him just looked so different this time I didn't see it. So, the Lord is slowly helping me work through this. I am hoping and praying that in His perfect time we will be reconciled. In Jesus Name!
Pam(1st Time)
Hideaway, TX
40's
Married
I haven't read the book yet but when I read the comment about the 12 year old, I just had to say something. I wear a full face mask at night to sleep with a CPAP machine and as a result there are red blotches on my face aroun pressure points of the mask. I can't see anythng else in the mirror. When I was in Florida I used it as an excuse not to look for a church because I look so repulsive no one would welcome me anywhere. So I told God, when the marks were gone, i would look for a church. Well, instead he moved me to Louisville in Dec–where i know no one and have to find all kinds of things now. this place is church heaven, I think–there seems to be one on every block wherever I go. The marks are healing but then I got a bad one on my chin that won't heal because of the pressure of the mask there. So I thought, good, I'm off the hook for a while, at least, because i am too ugly to go anywhere except work. It's one thing to think you don't measure up to the anorexic models, but entirely another to be revolted by your face yourself. Which is what I am. I also absolutely hate going into places like churches by myself–but every time I went with a friend, if I showed up alone the people who had been friendly acted like 'what are you doing here without X?' Like I didn't belong there unless i was with the friend.
Karen
40s
single
Louisville, KY
Melinda
Greensboro, NC
50's
married
Beth, I have done all your Bible studies and I am so thrilled to start reading your new book. My married daughter surprised me yesterday and called to say that she had bought tickets for us to go see you in Atlanta with my youngest daughter too. I am so excited! I can't wait. Have fun on your book signing tour. Love & blessings from NC!
Lisa B. from Indianapolis, IN – married in late 30's
I was just online last night looking up something for the Esther bible study Im doing… I have been struggling alot lately with not feeling pretty enough, or like Im not a good enough mother or wife, no one wants to be my friend, Im not good at my job… blah, blah, blah… Your new book popped up on my computer screen and the info about the blog… I went out today and bought the book. I can't wait to start reading it. I would LOVE to end this book being a confident and strong woman. Thank you Beth for your ministry. You are truly a blessing.
I had SO MUCH FUN today at the Nashville Borders! I was privileged enough to bring Miesta Moose with me and share in the fun! Thanks so much for chatting with us! All the Siestas were so excited to have tha time with our Siesta Mama! Can't wait to go dive into the book!
Lori
Krystle
20's
Oregon
Married
1)Last time I came face-to-face with our massive struggle with insecurity?
Sunday. I could not bring myself to go to church…as I stood in front of the mirror, tears streaming down my face, looking at my body. I couldn't go and risk people looking at me thinking about how much I must weigh now, or how awful I looked. So, I stayed home. And it happens far too many Sundays.
2) What part of the definition for insecurity most desribes me?
"Chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves…" My daily battle with my self-image keeps me from doing what I love and feeling how I used to feel.
1) Recent moment of insecurity: Driving by my mom-in-law's house on my way to the SMT celebration and getting hit in the face once again by the fact that not only did my husband leave me for another woman but also went back home to his recently widowed mother….how do you not feel insecure when you lose your husband of 25 years to both his mom and a girlfriend?
2) definition of me: profound self-doubt, DEEP feeling of uncertainty about my basic self-worth. I struggle with how can God like me? why would He want to spend time with me? I know my mom didn't like me, although she loved me….feel like God feels the same. When your mom doesn't like you, your husband leaves you for his mom and a girlfriend, I don't have any close friends just acquaintances, am basically alone ALL the time, I had a best friend that stopped talking to me at the same time my husband left me and has never told me why, I work with all Christians but I am seldom included in their lunches together even though I'm nice to a fault/always interested in their lives and encouraging them and not talking about myself, although I admit I suck at small talk and am not a girly-girl and not interested in those things……needless to say, I'm clinging to the cross. Memorizing the verses that tell me how much God loves me. Hoping that I will someday believe in my core that I am really loved by at least God and hopefully finding some quality in me that people/God might actually find appealing/attractive enough to make them want to spend time with me….and yet not allowing anyone to get close, to get in, fearing the rejection….self-fulfilling prophecy at work.
Jeri
Elk City, OK
40's
single/divorced
Durant, OK
40's
Married
1. Dear Heavenly Father,
I Praise You and thank you for bringing me this far in my life, to the season of grandparenthood;
sharing life at home with my husband and teenage son, our youngest of 3 children;
growing in my relationship with You, my husband, each of our children, and all of our family members;
still growing and learning.
Dear Lord,
I Repent of my defensiveness and selfishness, and insecurity.
I Acknowledge that You are in control and I am always safe and secure with You.
(Intercession)
Dear Lord, I thank you for blessing me with a beautiful daughter. I pray for her, and for the thousands of women who are on this journey together of reading this book. I am reading it, because I know that You put this burden on Beth's heart to write this book because our gender does have a serious battle with Insecurity.
I can relate to so many of the comments already.
I thank you and pray for Your servant, Beth Moore.
(Supplication)
I pray for myself that You will help me to always be alert to You speaking to me through Beth's book. I pray that You will help me to become secure in Your love.
(Equipping)
I pray that You will use this book to help equip me to be Your servant.
2. Today-reading all of the comments from others and relating to all of them!
3. I thought that I could choose one part of the definition that would resonate with me, but as I read back over it, ALL of it resonated with me!
I haven't got my book in yet…I'm giddy with anticipation…But wanted to joins Beth in pray over us all.
Father, please be magnified. We wish and hope and earnestly play that You teach us how to live within You secure boundaries. We ask You to be with our leader whom You've hand chosen to guide us through this uncertain journey. Beth has been so busy and still recovering, Lord, keep her Lord, Your perfect will be done. Peel back the layers and unpack all the baggage we carry around that is so unnecessary and is blocking You will for our lives. Free us Lord of our insecurities anointed with the blood of the Lamb and in His name, Jesus, and on His authority I so pray-amen.
Jo
So. California
40's
Single
I started reading the book before I knew about the blog and I completely cracked up at the suitcase record holder…oh my goodness, I laughed so hard and was sitting at a table by myself at the office cafeteria, and the people around me thought it was time for the white coats. What cracked me up even more is I was thinking the exact same thing you were…again…absolutely hilarious, but oh so true!
Laurie said…
I have very big moutains to move right now in my life. Lots of Insecurities and ready to get in gulfed in another adventure with my precious Beth Moore that has gotten me through almost everyone of them. They just seem to get bigger and he just seems to teach me more and more the closer I get.
Laurie
Poolville,TX
37
married
I speak to the mountain and I say move!! DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG MY GOD IS? DO YOU KNOW HOW GREAT MY GOD IS?
I speak to the sick ones be healed! DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG MY GOD IS? DO YOU KNOW HOW GREAT MY GOD IS?
HE THE MIGHT WARRIOR, SAVIOR, HEALER
SITTING IN THE HEAVEN ALL THINGS UNDER HIS FEET. THERES NO ONE GREATER FULL OF POWER HE REGIONS FOREVER HE'S THE KING OF ALL KINGS!
I SPEAK TO THE DEAD ONES ARISE! DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG MY GOD IS? DO YOU KNOW HOW GREAT MY GOD IS?
I SPEAK TO THE DARKNESS BE GONE!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG MY GOD IS? DO YOU KNOW HOW GREAT MY GOD IS?
HE'S THE MIGHTY WARRIOR, SAVIOR, HEALER SITTING IN HEAVEN WITH ALL THINGS UNDER HIS FEET. THERES NO ONE GREATER FULL OF POWER HE REGIONS FOR EVER HE'S THE KING OF ALL KINGS!!!!
February 11, 2010 7:27 PM
Dearest Beth,
The Lord keeps amazing me through this computer screen! I'm reading Numbers in my daily readings and when I saw the number of women –> 6023 on roll call I couldn't help but smile and it gave me the chills. I'm praying for all of these new sisters in Christ who have started their own blogs and have joined you. I'm also praying for the "seasoned" bloggers who still need the reminder to find their security in the Only One who can give it to them! Thank you SO much!
I hope you are able to get some rest!
Much Love to you,
Angie in Michigan xoxo
Sorry about all the typos in my prayer please look past my imperfections and i'll try to proof read better before sending from now on…
Also, Jo from So, CA I've had a moment just like that at work before thanks to Beth. Welcome Siesta!!! 'cause now your hooked…LoL.
Insecure. . .absolutely! So insecure that I am looking over my shoulder to be sure that no one sees me typing this!
I have many insecurities, but the one that has been nagging me the most recently is my insecurity about my body/appearance. This has been an ongoing battle for many years. It has only worsened after two pregnancies. I feel completely undesirable and act accordingly – to the point that I fear my relationship with my husband has suffered. Of course my current coping mechanism and source of comfort is food! It really is unhealthy, I know!
2.I identify with most of the definitions listed, but the one that rings most true is chronic self consciousness and feeling inferior (in most aspects of life!)It sometimes feels like I'm working so hard, only to feel as though I'm not doing enough.
Jami
30s
married
Yay…..my book came in the mail today!
1)I dove into insecurity just after reading the first chapter. I think I have bi-polar insecurity issues because my nature is to think everyone hates me until I climb up God's mountain and see the truth where I feel free of it. I tend to be extreme about things, with little inbetween. I have to constantly grab my shield of faith and it's hard to hold it up 100% of the time.(It's back up right now so I'm o.k.)
2)Insecurity with relationships cause me to over analyze everything I say and worry how they took it.
Suzanne
Spokane, Wa
48
Married
!.I see it all the time..everywhere.. most notably with teenage girls who see their worth defined by how they look.
2. "A chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships" And this really hit home "Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism"
Growing up with an alcoholic father left me with a boat load of insecurities. I really lacked confidence in myself and my abilities. I never felt affirmed.. my father never affirmed me.. and my mother was too covered up with life to do it herself.. I became the perfect child to "cover" myself..I didn't let people get close to me.. not to know the real me.. People that didn't know me thought I was stuck up..Stuck up ??!! Not at all!! I was swimming in insecurity…!! And really..the worst thing of all was what it did to my relationship with God.. because I saw God just like I saw my father..I didn't think my father loved me..so how could God? And I was scared of my father and I was scared of God..
I am now 63 years old.. and I have spent my adult life recovering from my childhood.. The Lord has healed my relationship with my father..and my relationship with Him.. The 1st part happened over many years..too many things to recount here.. My relationship with God was healed when I did Believing God.. God used that study in a might way in my life.All of that is nothing short of miraculous.
But.. I still have insecurities about my own abilities.. I do not think I am really good at anything..and trying something new is EXTREMELY hard for me.. It's very strange.. I know that God loves me and accepts me just like I am.. and I am very secure in that.. I do not beat myself up when I sin.. I go to Him and confess and repent.. and I know I am forgiven.. I am very secure in my relationship with the Lord.. But in my human relationships..It's very hard for me to get over my perceived need ..from childhood..to be "perfect"
Carole
Age 63
Dunmore, WV
Married (to a wonderful man)
To the Christine that was adopted: The reason I am writing this is because I gave up a girl for adoption 30 years ago this February…and I had named the baby Chris…Please, please, please take this to heart….I know that my decision to give my child up for adoption was not because I did not love the baby….but BECAUSE I LOVED HER ENOUGH to give her away. I had engaged in pre-marital sex and when I found out I was pregnant, I was not emotionally, physically or financially equipped to raise a child on my own at that time in my life. To me, the most loving thing to do, was to give the child up for adoption…to give her to people who could not have a child and would love her to bits. Please know and believe you were given up by your birth mother because she loved you SO MUCH that she wanted the best for you, a "best" that she could not give you herself. She felt you were worthy enough to deserve the very, very best life could offer…and that did not include her.
1)I am currently working on my 10 yr high school reunion.Trying to find everyone from my high school class, all my high school insecurities come flying back.And taking over someone else is ministry,feeling like it will not succeed.
2)Living in fear of rejection of one or both of these big events in my life will fail,and reflect on me being a failure.
Cassie
Bishop,Ca
20's
Happily married
Lisa
Ankeny, IA
30s
Single
1. Today I was in the gym locker room and I noticed that two separate women who were fairly fit and attractive stood in front of the mirror adjusting their clothes and hair. Even at a place where the purpose is to wear comfortable clothes and sweat, it was obvious that they were concerned about how they looked before heading out to the gym.
2. I didn’t realize that I have a problem with insecurity until I started reading this book. Now I realize that I have a lot of insecurity mostly in the areas of dating relationships and also being in large groups among people I don’t know well. The definitions that I most closely identified with were self-sabotage and self-doubt. I tend to take on other’s pain which creates drama in my life and removes my joy. In addition, I have a hard time believing that my feelings and opinions do matter and I am constantly comparing myself to people. Its bondage and I’m ready to give it up!
posted by Michelle
44 on the 23rd!
Okeechobee, FL
Married – 22 years
1. Beth, great idea of journal entry or prayer inside cover — you did that at the beginning of the John study. I asked for MUCH, I am expecting MUCH. I wrote a prayer as my God is my dearest friend. He is my HERO and I am expecting to be MORE secure in HIM when I close this book.
2. Recent insecurity: About 19 months ago, I knew and could 'feel' a problem starting with my man (whom I consider really darling too!) and about 15 months ago my husband confirmed he had 'fallen' out of love with me. Then he proceeded to elude to the fact that he can't remember if he ever did love me. We were riding home from seeing 'Fireproof' – my life in the movie screen — but ours did not end like the movie. Insecure — you bet — but, God is able! *That did make me made enough for change!
And as I began to seek Godly counsel and work through this, what made me even more secure is that some of my 'christian' pals gave me the advise to just let him go and make it peaceful for him. Shame on them – they did not think God was able or big enough!
But then at that time — I did not either — NOW I do. We are still married. God protected it — on both sides and we are not out of the 'woods' yet –but we are starting to climb up out of the pit!
Which brings forth daily insecurities and we work through this and raise two teens!
3. which definition 'sits' with me — the one about being uncertain of my basic worth is first . . . which makes sense of 'how' I am working myself out of this pit and the other is self-doubt — as my love language is phy touch and words of affirmation and I was no longer getting that from my man, I had to learn to GET it from HIM and let my man off the hook.
Whoa.
Thanks Beth, I got my book Wednesday and today, a pal walked up to me and told me of her divorce a year ago. A total shock and they had been married 30 years. I wanted to scream– 'did you fight? to stick it out?' 'did you do everything you could?' . .
Anyway, I knew she needed your book and to build up some truths – so I hopped in my car and drove the 75 min. to Barnes and Noble and got one. Tomorrow, I will give it to her — I am spitting Mad at the enemy this night – spitting MAD!
Leslie
Houston, TX
30's
Married.
I tried to think of a particular recent bout of insecurity, or a particular part of the definition that rang true with me, but the truth is that you could probably find my face next to "insecure" in the dictionary. Lately, all I see are reasons to feel insecure. I'm so self-conscious about the baby weight that I haven't lost…I feel like I'm not useful since I quit my job to be a SAHM…I've been so lonely, but my introverted personality makes it difficult to make new friends (as I heard someone say once, "I don't like people, and people don't like me.")…I feel like people that meet me dismiss me because they think I'm boring/unattractive/fat/stupid/irritating/dorky/weird/…..
My insecurities feel like a prison. I want to escape them, but after a lifetime of living with them I don't know what life would look like without them.
Ro, 30's, Liberty, MO married
Ready for a change. Ready to view myself the way my father in heaven does.
The ideas expressed in this book will change our lives…
Sweet Beth, I am somewhere between "oh my heart" and "wow!" I am so grateful to the Lord for you, for the honesty and clarity of this book. Here are my answers; 1. Today! I was gifted with a fraxel laser treatment for my face. I am still trying to determine if it was a gift. My face has swollen to nearly twice it's size in the healing process. Yesterday my eyes were swollen shut. Not fun. Today my sweet teenage sons told me that I no longer looked like the sta-puff marshmallow man but more like a squirrel storing nuts for winter! To make matters worse I had a meeting a HAD to attend with someone that does not know me well. Soooo….insecurity was my constant companion. Perfectionism certainly is an art form, to this I can atest! And perfect today I was not…you know what, I lived, and they didn't care. So long bad friend!!!
2. The thing that spoke volumes to me was the part where those who are insecure are not always those who don't like the spotlight. I have many friends and am very outgoing, but that doesn't make me any more secure. I so resonated with the not wanting people NOT to like you. I am a lover of people and want people to love me to and if not it drives me crazy to know why;) I am coming to learn it's okay, as long as I have not offended them I am free to let them choose…isn't that big of me!;) uugh! This is gonna be a journey! But I intend to close this book a lot more secure than when I opened it!
Kristy
Moore, Ok
40's
Happily Married
An enormous anxiety has come over me, that was not there previously, and I am extremely sensitive.
#2) Wow, well, Beth, nailed it on the head.
I met a very nice christian man and we developed a great friendship. As we became closer, I felt I could be more myself, and I opened up. We ministered together but experienced some warfare, and that really stirred things up. I confessed to him, my childhood sexual abuse and felt like I needed to tell him. I see now that I didn't need to tell him. That very same week, Beth was on Life Today, speaking on, "To Know and be Known," and she literally addressed this! Some things are too much for people to know! Whew! So, he fled, but he just came back! Literally, the night after holding the book, "So Long, Insecurity," and praying about it, the next morning, my doorbell was ringing and it was him! Thank God for Grace and Mercy!
#3) The definition of insecurity that resonated with me the most is self-doubt. Self-doubt, self-doubt, and more self-doubt. Even things that God was clearly guiding me in, I questioned because I felt too insecure that He was really calling on me. He has confirmed things for me over and over again, so that I would be able to trust that it was surely
Him. Oh, He is so patient and merciful. Thank you
Lord.
Michele
Racine, WI
40's
single
Kelley
Missouri
20's
1. Like a few of my fellow Siestas, when am I not insecure? I feel insecure every time I have to get out of bed and find something to wear. I feel insecure every time my husband is not in my sight. It doesn't help that 2 weeks ago I found out about a very big secret he has been keeping from me for the last 2 years. Didn't he know I already had issues with the way I looked? with the way he felt about me? was I good enough? How could he do this to me??? But, I am trusting that God is NOT a liar or a lunatic. And that He speaks the truth when He tells us He can make all things work for the good. Thank you Jesus! Why is it that most women struggle with insecurity and many men struggle with purity? Not a good combination. God never seizes to amaze me. This book was perfect timing!
2. I must know this specialist who wrote this definition of insecurity. He had to have written it after talking to me! But not for long. Thankfully, God loves me enough not to let me stay here!
Priscilla
McMinnville OR
40s
1) At the mall this evening, nearly half naked women strutting around selling costmetics, while I was carrying my children's diaper bag, hoiding my 1 year old, complete with spit up. I felt like SUCH a bag lady – not worth my husbands time and attention.
2) The insecure persons hold unrealistic expectations in relaltions and contribute to their own demise.
1) I am faced with my own insecurity every day. Especially with regards to my in-laws. My husband is on disability and has not worked for several years. He has many health issues. The most recent example would be a conversation with him regarding my true feelings about his lack of effort in trying to get better. He asked why I had waited so long to tell him how I felt and I told him it was because I've learned from his family that no one wants to hear how I feel about things. Especially when it is something negative about him, they say it hurts them, but it's the reality I'm living with everyday.
2) The entire definition applies to me, especially in the areas of relationships and fear of rejection.
Tina
Galloway, OH
40's
Married
Hi, it's me again…the reason for the insecurity "In my face NOW!!" is because God is calling me out to serve after being waylaid by what I talked about yesterday. You must understand that I have been out of commission fulltime for the LORD for years…
I appreciate you Beth and your boldness…you spoke to me last night through the lesson of Esther…not amputating your history as it is part of your destiny…thank you my friend in Jesus Christ, thank you.
I was reading my devotional this morning, "David: 90 Days with a Heart Like His." and again the LORD spoke to me…to be willing to be yet more undignified and humble before God first then before others that have fallen prey to the enemy of our souls' warfaring tactics. As I serve God in serving others, "of them shall I be had in honor" regardless what the peering through the window Christian might think as I serve him in my calling. Does this make sense to any one?
Praying, trusting, serving…God is who He says he is, God can do what He says He can do, I am who GOD says I am, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and God's Word is alive and active in me… I BELIEVE GOD!!
Beth, my siesta, I am praying for you as you are in this generation a voice in line with the voice of Jesus, my Shepherd, and in following you I am following Christ as Paul admonished in Scripture 1 Corinthians 11:1…I don't mean that as a weight of responsibility, though it is; I mean that as a source of encouragement…thank you sister Beth, may Christ in me, call me to the courage I see in you because of grace alone by faith alone.
I don't know if I am making sense to anyone or not…
Insecurity…as I step out and facilitate Bible Studies and respond to others in the love and comfort wherewich God has responded to me.
Marilyn
Indiana
50's-Married
1. I recently came into contact with a woman buying kerosene to heat her home. The money had been given to her because, as she explained, her husband was in jail. I told her I was sorry, and she said "Don't be! He has beat me for 21 years and last week he kicked my son in the stomach and broke his sternum after he had takens his fist and backhanded me into a wall". I thought to myself WOW…what insecurities this woman must have to have let that go on for that long! Me heart aches for her.
2.For me this one would have to be the self doubt/chronic self consciousness which leads to lack of confidence. For years I have had a fear of speaking, praying or singing on my own. I love to sing, and will if I am in a choir or praise & worship team, but don't ask me to solo! Same when asked to to pray! My mind goes blank and the words come out in a jumbled mess. I can write or type up a prayer really well, but words escape my brain when I have to speak them! Talk about insecure!!
1. There are a laundry list of possibilities for this first question, but I think I narrowed it down to one. Okay, I think that my biggest area of insecurity is in my relationship right now. I have been friendship dating a boy since last October, and we decided to make the dating official in December, but that has only served to heighten my anxiety level. There are a lot of things from my past that I know are bound to come up some day as we get closer. I am so fearful that when and if he finds out that he will decide that I am not right for him, or that I wasn't the person that he was expecting me to be. I know that my past sexual sins are covered under that precious blood of my Savior, but I keep putting on my coats of Harlot and Unwanted.
2. The part of the definition that resonated the most with me is lack of confidence in ourselves. I am one of the leaders of our ladies Bible study at my church, and I constantly feel inept when I walk in that room. It's ridiculous, since I am a high school teacher, but I feel absolutely no confidence when it comes to my abilities with the Bible…especially when my pastor's daughter is in the room. I keep thinking she is going to tell on me about what an idiot I am.
Thank you for doing this Beth…
Kristy
North East, PA (near Erie)
Early 30s
Single, but in a relationship!
1. I face insecurity in my looks as gray hair and sagging skin send me to the health and beauty section of the store more often than I would like to admit. I think silver haired old ladies are beautiful – but still I fight it. I also see it in the pretty young girls in my life who are stressing over hair, makeup, and jean size. I am also constantly set back by disappointments in people who are supposed to be looking out for me or working with me who let me down.
2. Insecurity with relationships resonated most with me.
Tamara
New Braunfels,Tx
30
1) Currently we face the possibilty of moving to Houston. I have never lived any where else and have always been with my family. I have always struggled with insecurity and this just seems to be a recipe for diasaster! It's not a for sure thing, but the thought of it seems so devastating..and it's only 3 hours away!!!!
2)The definiton that hits home is feelings of rejection and self-doubt. I am a people pleaser and want to be liked by all. Especially those I look up to. One negative comment and I am ready to give up. I love Galations 1:10…oh that I would seek the approval of God alone!
Roll Call
Wanda
Married
Hiram, GA
50s
Richella
Durham, NC
40's
Married
1) I particularly noticed the way someone tugged at her sweater–it wasn't fitting just right. Of course, I wouldn't have noticed it not fitting just right until she tugged at it.
2) Oh, the chronic self-consciousness. What a blessing it would be to think that people weren't staring at me. I wrote a whole post on my blog about my insecurity (http://impartinggrace-richella.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-actually.html). I'm learning, but it's been such a hard lesson! I am so hoping to get that next push that I need from this book.
The last time I faced insecurity in myself was a week ago when I walked into the breakroom for a special lunch where everyone ate at the same time for once, and I looked around to see who I could sit with without wondering if they were secretly thinking "oh no, she is going to sit by me". What part of the definition spoke to me? all of it except the last phrase, which I couldn't understand, but especially the anxiety about relationships and fear of rejection. Adults are usually polite and would never tell you to your face that they hate being around you, but I can't help thinking that they all secretly feel that way.
Kerry
Nederland, TX
50's
married
1. being sick for a long time – unable to talk, be a wife or a mom, and having to be taken care of 24-7. Will my family still love me or get sick of me being sick? Will my fifteen year old son resent having to help take care of me and do so much more around the house? Will I still be attractive since I am gaining weight because I can eat but do nothing else?
1)My thirteen year old daughter was in tears recently because she does not feel "cool" or that she fits in because she is choosing to live life God's way.
2)"A profound sense of self-doubt" resonates with me. Even though I know God is faithful to complete the work He's begun in me, I doubt my steps along the way. Knowing scripture puts a band-aid on the internal struggle for a bit but it always rears its ugly head again. This is the time to conquer it and gain victory once and for all!
Betsy
Port Charlotte, FL
40's
married
Recent moment of insecurity: Two days ago: After gradually lightening my hair from dark brown because it was too harsh for my maturing complexion, I finally made it to the blond tones. When my husband called on his lunch hour, I told him the news. “So I’ll have a blond waiting for me after work?” he teased. “Don’t tell my wife.” Immediately I bristled. What was that crack supposed to mean? He was way more excited that I was a blond than I thought he should be. After 34.5 years of marriage, had he not been happy with me as a brunette? Was I suddenly more desirable because of my hair color? And just what did he mean—don’t tell my wife? I was suddenly jealous of myself! It was crazy. I told him not to say things like that. He hasn’t mentioned my hair color since.
Def. of insecurity I most identified with: “a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.” I struggle with this because growing up with someone who had an explosive temper, I learned to adjust my moods and squash my feelings and desires in order to get along and not get hurt. Today I have trouble expressing my true feelings to anyone except my husband and feel guilty when I do—as if my feelings are unimportant. I also feel guilty when I'm content, as if I don't deserve it.
Port Neches, TX
50's
Married
I am happily single, 40's but I have been told my a lady in our church that I thought was a friend that I can't be her friend because I am single!
Talk about insecurity, hers or mine? Ummmmm….I have no desire to have her husband or family, I just dont' like them that much! I am very very happy doing my own thing when and where I please and answering to no one.
But it makes me insecure because I feel like I am not good enough…she is a "leader" in our church and I feel that no one wants to be my friend outside of a group setting and that hurts. They also don't want to be part of a group I lead…at least that's how I feel, right or wrong. It hurts, not just a little either.
Since I am "shunned" I get angry and dont' want to be friends with anyone unless they seek me out first. I tend to "hang" with older ladies who arent' threatened.
I am attractive but no more so than they.
I feel my biggest insecurity is not being accepted for who I am and being single.
How do other singles feel? How do you handle this?
1) I have always been insecure, so I have plenty of moments of insecurity to choose from! Lately, though I've been surrounded by woman who are younger, very beautiful, very intelligent, and very confident.( or so they seem) I'm always looking at my imperfections, comparing them to others, and trying to perfect them. It hasn't worked yet!
2) The part that resonates with me is: The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection. People MUST like me!! I didn't want to get on facebook for the longest time because I was afraid people would reject my friend request.
Elizabeth
Atlanta, Ga.
30's
Married to an amazing man!
1.For me its any social situation with other women. I think I am most insecure about my appearance. Not as much with my bible study girls, but with other friends. (Dang, its hard to admit that). Also, I have 2 daughters and I see alot of the traits I read about in one of them. May this experience train me to point her to Jesus in these areas.
2. self-doubt- Although I am secure in my place in the world for this season. I began to be insecure about not being insecure in that area. CRAZY?!
self-sabotage- BIG ONE
OK, I didn't even know and/or realize I was insecure until I started reading this book! I had other names for it like self-conscious and normal. Of course now that I know, I am being tested on what I am learning (Praise God!).
Q1. I was going to tell you about Monday night's Bible Study, and how at one point I felt like I had become a little too transparent with the women in the group… but then last night a gentleman called my husband and asked to meet him so they could talk about non-church stuff; privately. My mind began instantly to think of what they were going to say about me and how I have hurt the feelings of either him or his wife (both of whom I love dearly). It absolutely crushes me when I think that I may have upset or hurt someone. I then realized what I was allowing to happen and started a silent prayer for God to take away those feelings and thoughts. I know his wife would face me one-on-one if I had hurt her feelings in any way. We have that close of a friendship, but for a moment I had feelings of insecurity creep into my mind, heart, and bones. Praise God allowing for me to call it what it truly is – insecurity and lies from the devil himself!
Q2. Definition that resonated most: Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships.
Why? I am tall and can not find clothes that fit me well. It is so hard to find tall sizes, especially in long-sleeves. I guess they don't realize that tall women’s arms are long too. Not just their legs! Winter is the hardest season for me because it is 15 degrees Fahrenheit and I am wearing 3/4 length sleeves that would be long sleeves for most women. I'm CONSTANTLY aware of this little fact and VERY self-conscious about it.
As far as the anxiety about relationships – just read the answer to the first question again. :0)
Teresa
Bardstown, KY
30’s
1. A huge example of insecurity that resonates with me is how much little girls and pre-teen/teen clothing has changed to portray an image that is not about who you are but what you look like. Pants are made to barely ride on the hips and shirts are made not to come anywhere near the top of the pants. Girls are taught at a young age that it is all about how much you can flaunt.
2. The definition of insecurity referring to "a profound sense of self-doubt – a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world" hit me like a ton of bricks. I am a princess daughter of the King so why do I continually doubt who I am and so work to obtain my worth?
Thank you Beth and staff for all you do to teach truth to women.
1. The last time I felt the insecurity that cripples our gender was this morning, when I looked in the mirror. Weight, bad skin day. I am spending the day with a taller, skinnier, younger friend and I imagined the inevitable comparisons by complete strangers…sigh…
2. All of the definitions fit me at some level, but the false notions about relationships rang really true. I need so much and I try so hard to drain it out of others around me.
This book speaks to me right where I am. Thank you for being obedient in writing it, and passionate in wanting it's message to bear fruit. I will pray each time I work on it, that all of us will take away a permanent change!