So Long Insecurity Week One!

Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.

We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.

I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.

So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.

OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.

2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.

3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?

To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.

Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.

For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.

No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.

Thank you for coming!

Lord, be magnified.

In His lavish love,


1,429 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week One!”

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  1. 251
    Pam Houston says:

    Mama Siesta Beth, you amaze me! To think you wrote that post in the back of the car travelling down the Hwy boggles the mind…no question about the anointing of God resting on you to help thousands of us needy siestas living in an insecure world. As I'm saying goodbye to this bad friend, I'm also shedding the weight attached to it! I'm down 12 lbs by God's grace, and have another 30 to go. As I'm shedding the weight I'm shedding the insecurity weight has brought my entire adult life of yo-yoing.

    Bless you for this important work!
    Pam H.

  2. 252
    Lisa X says:

    I'm now in the ROOTING IT OUT CHAPTER. Reading of the rejection was so painful. I stopped there. I'm trying so hard to get through – Rejection and betrayal – how do we get past unthinkable, inconceivable betrayal by our family? Why does this control me? Why do I leave every single family party or meeting and feel a torture in my mind of every stupid thing I said or did?

  3. 253
    annespen says:

    2. Always struggle with wanting to have people over to the house, but feeling that with two big furry dogs it's just too hard to get the house "perfect" or as near to perfect I can manage. Then I plan a date and work my head off to get ready, love how everything looks but feel totally exhausted. To cook something special and clean everything to my standards for company makes the whole thing not worth doing too often. Always wishing I could relax a bit and have people in regularly.
    3. "having someone upset at me is very unsettling even if I was on the right side of the conflict." This is very tough for me. Why is it that the person on the other side of the conflict never realizes that I am on the 'right' side of it? lol
    Also struggle a bit with "my place in this world" as our kids are married and on their own.
    Lakewood, NJ
    married <3

  4. 254
    Anonymous says:

    I felt compelled to respond to Robin who shared that she is insecure about the relatively comfortable life God has given her. I'm only 27 so take my two cents for what it's worth, but I grew up very privileged and sensed a call to ministry. I used to feel that I had nothing to share because my life was too simple- that I couldn't relate with most of mankind, so how could I possibly reach out to people in ministry? I also didn't feel I had a powerful enough testimony, that I hadn't been rescued from drugs or sex. Life was too easy.
    But, oh friend, fear the Lord! He is SO FAITHFUL to bring you to the place he wants you to be to do the work that He designed you to do. If he has called you to be one of the "blessed," praise him for it and be the most humble, grateful and gracious person of that calling that you can be (by His spirit). It's not about comparing ourselves to others but being faithful to where and what the Lord calls us to.
    And, be careful what you pray for! I didn't have a "powerful testimony" by my standards, but I've been through the ringer the past 4 years now and I feel that I am living out my testimony- still. Listen, if you are a believer, God has given you a powerful testimony. Pray for a deeper understanding of His cross.
    God has a plan, dear friend. Submit to it, and he will reward you for your faithfulness! He has given you experiences for service back to him, so allow him to use you as he desires, not as you think is most honorable. The Lord looks at the heart, humans look at circumstances. I feel your pain because I've been there. All I have to say is, "Pray!" and "The Lord is SO FAITHFUL to bring you to the place he wants you to be." Trust him and realize his timing is perfect. -january

  5. 255
    Angel says:

    Rejection is hard.Rejection by family is a whole new hard.

  6. 256
    Anonymous says:

    2. I have encountered so many of the same insecurities others have posted. Some are just over the smallest of things, such as this week stressing over what to wear to go to have my hair cut and colored. (my hairdresser dresses so cute) to some which have potentially more lasting results, such as fear of failing at something in my marriage resulting in my husband leaving me. (maybe I am not what he wants anymore)
    3. Chronic self-consciousness and fear of rejection.

  7. 257
    WifenMother says:

    I'm excited to start this book. It absolutely amazes me how many women have left comments – ones that I am thinking! God is so good to bring this forum to us.

  8. 258
    KarolynK says:

    Karolyn, 28, San Diego, Single

    1. Just yesterday as I was disappointed with a friend who didn't respond how I wanted – I then got caught up in a cycle of realizing how insecure that made me and how it was perceived, how I could then 'fix' it…etc. UGH, I'm over it!! 🙂

    2. Not sure if this specifically answers this question, but the sentence 'The answer is to deal with the insecurity, believing that everything God says about us is true' resonated with me.

  9. 259
    ClintandGina says:

    2. I see the women's massive struggle with insecurity in myself everyday. I am always trying to look like / compare self with someone I saw in a magazine and trying to morph my body into something it is not. This was a little more attainable before i had a baby, but loosing these last 10 pounds is driving me crazy……the sad thing is that I don't feel very pretty or desirable with this extra cushion.

    2. The most applicable part of the insecurity definition for me is anxiety about my relationships and fear of rejection. I always have a fear in the back of my mind that I will be abandoned…that I am somehow unlovable. I know my husband loves me and is an honorable Christian man and in my heart I know that our marriage vows are forever, but I so easily revert back to that fear of being abandoned. God has done some major work with me on this, but I feel like I so easily slip back.

  10. 260
    JxsnMelanie says:

    1. Just yesterday, at a Bible study – that sense of walking into a room full of women and feeling like everyone there was more "put together" than I am – the hair, the clothes, all of it.
    2. I am really thinking about the problem of unreal expectations in relationships. I've wrestled this before and still trying to find a place to land. Scripture says that love "always hopes". Where is the boundary line between expectations (unrealistic ones) and hope?
    Melanie, Jackson TN
    married, 45 and needing this study!

  11. 261
    Becky says:

    Week #1
    Brentwood TN
    1. Didn't realized there was anyone out there that dealt with this issue like I do, but looks like I was wrong. As of 4 mo ago I am a stay at home mom again, I came face to face with this issue everday I went to work. People fellowshipping with one another, but not very often with me.
    I face it every week at my church, the same song 2nd verse. Seems like people are in close friendships, but not me.
    I face it on face book, this blog, my Bible study class… I hate it but it's there. (thank you Beth for reminding me that I am wanted here, hows that for insecurity)
    2. I think the 2nd discription hits more at home, I do have some of the first one as well, but the unrealisitc expectations is on me like white on rice. and being so easily hurt makes me so mad at myself, the whole insecurity thing makes me mad at myself. I would love to dump it, but so far I can not It seems to be who I am.

  12. 262
    Tammi Gates says:

    After reading chapter 1 and 2 I have learned that the relationship I have with my most important and dearest girlfriend is completely based in insecurity!!! YUCK. The part of the definition that says, "the insecure person harbors unrealistic expectations" completely describes us. I am so excited to walk this journey and watch God bring health to one of my most treasured relationships!
    Helena, Montana

  13. 263
    Anonymous says:

    Our first assignment is to journal. Just that word "journal" throws me for a loop. Such pressure and in the front of my new Beth book, too! What if I write something that doesn't really express what I'm feeling, what if I misspell a word or make a big blob with my pen – do I choose black or blue ink? Do I sound insecure or what?! God has already worked huge wonders in my past in regards to insecurity but it looks like He has some work to do with me! Thank you, Lord, for not leaving me like this!

    Farmington, MN
    late 30's

  14. 264
    Anonymous says:

    I loved the part in your book, Beth, where you said three steps forward and two steps back is still forward progress! Hallelujah!


  15. 265
    Heather F says:

    I knew when I started this book that I had insecurities, but then there were some that I didn’t even realize I had because they have been a part of me for so long. I'm ready for the journey!!
    2) Last weekend at my boyfriends’ birthday party, I felt as though a couple of the girls I recently met were talking about me. Let the over-analyzing begin… Was it something I did or didn’t do? Were they really talking about me or was I imagining it?? Do they not like me??? The next day I talked about it with my boyfriend and he explained one of the girls’ situation and she was also insecure. As I was reading, I thought how ironic it was that both of us were insecure and how sad it is that sometimes insecurities bring out the “mean girl” mentality.
    3) The part about self doubting spoke volumes. I guess I have never considered that an insecurity but it is. The fact that when I doubt myself meant that I doubted God blew me away!! Wondering if this is really where I am supposed to be, thinking I am not in God’s will—over analyzing again!! Oh, and how about overanalyzing relationships?!? Hello, right here! I make such a big deal out of something so little IN MY OWN HEAD!! I have been working on that, but it is not going to be easy and is going to need a lot of prayer. So, I am definitely ready to let go of these insecurities and feel the freedom in the Lord!!

    P.S. I could bring myself to write in my book either!! I think it's the childhood rule of not writing in books. I am such a rule-follower, it's crazy!!

    Heather F/Beaumont, TX/29/Single

  16. 266
    Edifier1 says:

    1)I come in contact with my gender's insecurity issues on a daily basis. It starts with me. Although I have been liberated from the "ghosts of my past," I still have residue left over that affects my present-day relationships. I admit that I have a hard time trusting people with my heart. The flip side of that is that when I find people I have been able to trust and I have become comfortable with, I love them so "hard" that it could come across as smothering. Finding a healthy balance and smoothing out the boundaries are the things I am still, even after all this time, working on.
    2)Several definitions stood out to me, but something you said just prior to page 17 actually resonated with me the most. When you referred to insecurity as a malady, it made me think about the word disease. Now, I am not saying it is anything like the horrible illnesses that many people have had to deal with, but I am saying it can be detrimental to one's health. In my experience with the alternative health community, they often break this word down to dis- ease. That's what I'm really talking about. Insecurity makes me feel- uneasy, off balance, out of sorts, and unhealthy. It makes me feel like I am not functioning in a harmonious state. Do you see what I mean?

    Ellenwood, GA

  17. 267
    Julie B. says:

    1) Last night during my small group, when I was self-conscious of how I looked. I felt huge in my jeans and not dressed near as cute as all my friends. I always stress over how cute they look and how plain jane I am. (Perhaps that's because the secret love of my life are sweats and hoodies! 🙂

    2) I struggle most with "chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves". I'm always aware of my place in the room and what people think of me (even though I hate being the center of attention). I will share my words and then feel like they sounded stupid and like I should have just kept my mouth shut. My poor husband has been the sound board for years over …"did that sound stupid?"

    Oh, to be free to be me with no worry of how I look or what I'm wearing but confident in who I am in HIM!!!

    Julie B.
    Wentzville, MO
    Newly 40

  18. 268
    Erin VT says:

    My most recent run in with insecurity?… When I read the assignment to write a prayer in my book then worrying about someone reading my prayer if I lent them my book. I am going to step out in obedience! Another one – messing up my post, deleting it, then reposting it. Oh what a morning!

    The part of the definition that really struck me was about living in constant fear of rejection. I am constantly second guessing my interactions with every one from preschool teachers (must look like a good mom right?!) to my friends and family.

    Chippewa falls WI

    ps. Can we call you Beth La Ham too?! :). So thankful for you Beth!

  19. 269
    Yolanda says:

    1) Last time I was aware of my own massive struggle with insecurity: this morning when I confirmed a lunch date but gave the other person an out by asking if they would like to invite someone to join us. (I am such a people pleaser!) I heard the Lord say after I had asked, rest in the fact, Yolanda that this person wants to spend time with you. OK, LORD, I hear YOU!

    2. A chronic lack of confidence in myself and anxiety in relationships. I was raised to receive love I had to be prefect needless to say when Beth spoke last week on Life Today that she and Keith place a higher priority on redemption instead of perfection. THAT SPOKE VOLUMES TO ME and I've pondered that for over a week as it resonates TRUTH into the depths of my being.

  20. 270
    stacyaluthi says:

    Hey Anonymous who wrote at February 11, 2010 8:11 PM

    Let me buy a book for you!!! It would be my privledge!

    please contact me at [email protected]
    or my blog at so I can get an address to send it to!!!

  21. 271
    Sherry S. says:

    How about this for irony…My last experience with insecurity was trying to muster up the ability to stand face to face with one of my favorite authors who was signing her newest book. We live an hour north of Atlanta so when I heard she was to be there, I was SOOO excited-sort of. What would I say of value to her? What could I possibly chit chat about while she signed my book? What would I wear? My highlights had not been touched up in weeks!! I would not go. The line would be too long. I did not have the time.

    My mind was spinning with excuses of why not to go and dreams of meeting my long distance friend of 5 years. I had read so many of her thoughts and ideas–I had learned so much from her. Then, the unbelievable happened–a reason to be in Atlanta other than driving there just to see this "celebrity." My daughter was to begin violin lessons and we needed to pick up her rental violin!! YES!! No. Who knows…we'll see…maybe. My husband drove me smiling all the way. He knew exactly where he was going. He would not allow insecurity to win today.

    We quietly ride-the entire time I am debating–yes, no, yes, no…then my son all of a sudden says, "Are we going to see Beth Moore or not?"–"Not sure," was my careful response as I glanced down at my camera I had "casually" grabbed before I left the house.

    Before I knew it, we were sitting in the turning lane to the mall with the bookstore…stomach churning–I almost backed out. I looked down at the title of this new book–tears filled my eyes and I knew I must go in. My husband smiled again as he saw my realization. We parked and I slowly walked in. The store clerk says, "Can I help you?" "No, I'm just looking around," was my response!! Can you even believe that?! I wanted to say, "WHERE IS SHE??!!" My husband leaves me to find her–this woman he knows so much about (second hand of course). He returns to me smiling–"Get in line."

    All my fears were gone as I stepped up to the table and met my good friend Beth. We've been through alot together-whether she knew it or not. She laughed at my husband's inability to manage the photography–and spoke to my precious baby girl–like any friend would. Why was I worried? Where did that anxiety come from? I giggled for the rest of the day and called everyone I knew to tell them that I probably had Beth Moore hairspray blended with my own!!

    Thank you, Beth. Thank you for years of growth in Bible Study. Thank you for allowing God to use you in such a powerful way in the lives of so many women. Thank you for so many tears, and laughs, and pains as I have uncovered so many things that needed to come to light. And thank you for this book and this blog– I am ready to say goodbye to my crippling friend named Insecurity–a bad friend, but a faithful one.

  22. 272
    MMMom says:

    Oh my goodness did I need this book!
    1) Watching, painfully, as my oldest daughter who is 19, be "annoyed" by "airheaded" prissy" girls. She is a gorgeous, brilliant young woman with a phenomenal future ahead. It pains me to the core that I have been so self-conscience of myself that this is what she has learned from me.

    2)And obviously the trait the resonates with me is self-consciousness. I have constant dialogue going on in my head about how I look, what are others thinking of me, how stupid what I just said sounded and then thinking will they not like me because they think I'm pretty, will they think I'm unaproachable. How can one person feel, less than, and more than all at the same time!

    Praise God for His infinite patience with me.
    San Antonio, TX

  23. 273
    Sherry S. says:

    Sorry, wrote my heart out and forgot the basics–

    Calhoun, GA

  24. 274
    The King's servant says:

    1. I lead a Mon night women's Bible study at church and this past Mon insecurity smacked me right in the face. We are doing Esther and I started feeling like I maybe shouldn't have brought up a certain situation that had affected me that week. I felt it may have been misunderstood by some of the women and had a terrible fear in my stomach. I realized afterwards through talking with my mentor and friend that it was old satan playing with my emotions once again.
    2. I definetly have chronic self conciousness about my weight, hair, and complextion. I also have little to no confidence that I can actually do what God has put in front of me to do. I always feel like I know someone else could probably do it better and have trouble believing God could trust me as much as he obviously does.
    Married Praise God!

  25. 275
    Anonymous says:


    1. After spending 48 years of my life in one location, my new husband and I moved to a place where we knew no one. I struggle constantly with feeling like I don't fit in. Sometimes I try too hard to be a part of whatever is going on in our church–wanting to be accepted by those around me.

    2. Chronic lack of confidence and constant fear of rejection are the parts of the definition that jump out at me.

  26. 276
    Anonymous says:

    I left a comment two days ago and cannot find it! Guess I did something wrong.

  27. 277
    Anonymous says:

    West Columbia, TX
    50 – Married

    1. The last time I came face-to-face with my struggle with my insecurity was this morning when I was getting dressed. I find myself purposely not looking in the mirror.

    2. I have anxiety about relationships. The part about constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether my own feelings and desires are legitimate.

  28. 278
    JW says:

    1)I am a first time mom of a four and a half month old. I came face-to-face with insecurity when I sat in my first mom's class and listened to other moms ask questions. I realized that I have no idea what I am doing and thought that God must be crazy to think I can raise a child. This is very debilitating especially when I have to drive home and once again it will just be he and I until his Dad gets home.

  29. 279
    JW says:

    oops…Jill, 20's married, paso robles, ca

  30. 280
    JW says:

    Jill Paso Robles, CA, 20s, married

    2)It comes as a surprise to me, but a lot of it resonated with me and I have long since considered myself a confident person. I should no longer be surprised that the Lord continues to flip things on their head in my life.
    Because of a recent situation with my mother, I am going to say that "Loss of favor and approval and harmony is excruciating to people with insecurity" is what hits me the hardest. My mom and I rarely fight or disagrees and I recently confronted her on something and for the next four days stalked her trying to make it right and really wanted to take back everything that I had said. I long for relationships to be perfect and make me comfortable.

  31. 281
    Anonymous says:

    1. Last time I faced insecurity? Each morning when I get up and don't have a job or income and no prospects for either.

    2. Which resonating definition? The one about not knowing if feelings/reactions are legitimate. I've got a lifetime of being taught that they weren't legitimate and a lifetime full of debris from trying to keep it all inside.

    Aledo, TX

  32. 282
    suci says:

    Glory morning to yu!!It is about 11:00 here in WASH. and I am waking up with a cup to tea and the peace of His Word, i appreciate the truth about the anger thingy, i have to stop being so defensive,argumentitve,insecure and over sensitve,this is why I am so grateful for the gift of the book you are sending me,Praise Jesus for all His benefits…I reckon I got alot to heal about,recover and let go of,especally the past which is the core fo most of my insecurties,but I look to this day with a joyful spirit,knowing the One above is fulfilling me fully,even in spite of my anger or struggling with becomming more of the woman God intended me to be,His work is not finished with me,and as always He has done a mighty work!!Peace to you this day,enjoy the book sighnine and a small request,with the book you are sending to me,could you write something in it,with yur signiture?I would love that ,honored in fact,Love to you with Light Love and Laughter!!Susie Sterkel,Angels on the Wing!!

  33. 283
    A Skin Bag for Jesus! says:

    Sharon from Alabama
    40’s and married

    1) This may be the oddest answer you get. But here goes:

    I was heading into a prison to teach Bible for the very first time. I wasn’t afraid of the prison or their inmates. But I seriously had issues of insecurity on the way. I couldn’t define it other than I wanted them to accept me and I didn’t know if they would. I wanted them to. (Don’t we all?!) And then the revelation came to me. I wondered if they would be able to “see me past my paint”??? For, you see, I’m a painter! From head to toe and all in-between! I color the hair. Powder the face. Blush my cheeks. Shadow the eyelids. Mascara the lashes. Paint my lips. Fake tan my skin. Polish my nails. And bleach my teeth. IS… there anything left on my body that I didn’t see??? On my drive there it dawned on me, some “non-painters” don’t except “painters.” And, though, too late to rethink it then… I desperately wanted to be liked. I wanted to be accepted! 🙂

    2) The definition of insecurity that resonated with me the most? “Insecurity is associated with CHRONIC SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS.” After #2’s answer, dare I need to say more?

  34. 284
    A Skin Bag for Jesus! says:

    P.S. I have to say this. I honestly used to think that I was a pretty secure person. The older I get, the more honesty comes with it. I've lived in insecurity my whole life! I was just too blind to see it… or maybe too blonde to see it as what it really was (is???)!!!

  35. 285
    Allison says:

    Shreveport, La
    30's and married

    Beth and Fellow Siestas…..
    As I began reading my book this morning – I realized just how insecure I actually am. You asked for 1 example – which came easily – a recent trip to the fitness center. Not a "meat market" fitness center – but one of all ages, shapes, and sizes. It started with the front desk welcoming my adorable, and cute man (husband) – to glancing around at other machines that other women were on. And as I continued to read – numerous other examples came to mind – from work to my sunday school class. Since you requested that we keep it condensed – I almost think / actually I know that my post would have been shorter if you asked me for times that I do feel secure.
    And for my second revelation…..I am incredibly blessed to have a man who is affirming to me on a regular basis. But know matter how many times he tries to fix my insecurities, I don't feel any different – except blessed to have him. And that makes me wonder – why does his affirmations stop at my ears and never heal my heart. Is it that affirmations meant to heal the heart only come from the Healer? Just wondering out loud…..

  36. 286
    Chesney says:


    3. The part about an insecure person having unrealistic expectations about love and relationships was the most applicable to me. Mom frequently says "If you want me to respond a certain way, write it down on a notecard and give it to me, so i know what to say". I am looking forward to being secure enough that i dont have to put expectations on her, and i am excited that i get to learn how BEFORE im married, so my husband doesnt have to deal with that at all…

    LOVING the book so far! Love you Beth 😉

  37. 287
    Jennifer @ Pearls of Wisdom says:

    Sherwood Park,AB.Canada
    1)I think I live it daily. I actually thought I had an iferiority complex because that is how I feel compared to everyone, including children my kids age. I feel like everyone else has it together including these kids, but just not me. And here I am a part of women's ministry, leading other women. Blind leading the blind.
    2)Which part of the definition resonated with me? The whole definition. Not part of it, all of it. Sometimes it's at separate times and other times it's all at once.
    Lord God I pray, show me, teach me, let me be the God confident, secure woman you created me to be.

  38. 288
    Kristin says:

    1) Recent eye witness to insecurity: I was at lunch with a girlfriend who was disappointed that after a week of counting her points (weight watchers) and working out, the scale revealed she had not lost even a 1/2 pound. Her wedding is in one year and fears she won't be as pretty as she hopes if she can't drop the weight. She said "she just wants her husband to think she is gorgeous". Has she forgotten that he already does think that?

    2) It was without a doubt: "Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt-a deep feeling of uncertainty about out basic worth and place in the world…. constant fear of rejection" I feel lost and in great risk of not finding where I will be most effective in the world. I am currently in a work situation that I am unsuccessful in (from what I can see and hear from the those higher then me) and I am scared to leave and pursue something else for fear that I will only just fail again. It rocks me to the core, Lord pierce this lie!!!


  39. 289
    Heiress of God says:

    Mama Beth and SLI Siestas:
    1. I am hit with insecurity all the time, from being a parent, to a leader in bible study and at church, even at work… wow. Some of it I was very aware of and others after reading the first two chapters have been a revalation..

    2. I would say unrealistic expectations about love and relationships and how much pressure I have put on them… the truth can be a real eye opener but I am glad the scales are coming off so I can take some pressure of some dear loved ones…

    40's and single

  40. 290
    Rachel says:

    I'm Rachel, from Maryland, the 28-year-old mama of a rip-roaring 18 month old girl(perhaps a lot like your second baby, Miss Beth! :)). Motherhood is kicking my butt, a year & a half after my daughter's arrival, and the Lord knew I needed this book today, because although the mail always comes around 4:30 pm, lo & behold it showed up at 11:30 today– right before my daughter's naptime– and here I was able to sit & read the first assignment in quiet. Thank you Jesus! 🙂

    1) I recently visited with a college friend who told me that I was "rounder" than I used to be. Considering how hard I'm working to lose these last 3 lbs of baby weight– and how earnestly I'm trying not to care, anyway– it hurt a LOT. I've had to refuse to succumb to a bunch of self-destructive ideas about how I could quickly lose a few pounds since her unkind comment.

    2) I most identified with these aspects of the "insecurity" definition: self-doubt & unrealistic expectations of relationships. WHAT? I can't expect others to be PERFECT too??! Ha ha. I have a long way to go. Let's GROW, sistas! 🙂

  41. 291
    living4God says:

    (part 2)
    2. Yesterday and everyday, due to some medical issues and lack of self control. I have gained 6 pounds this week and 45 pounds in last year for a total of about 100 pounds in last 3 years! So, I had some errands I needed to run and didn’t want to at all. I pretty much begged my husband to do them for me because I am so self-conscious and unhappy with myself that I isolate and stay home as often as I can. I have come to the point that nothing fits, and if I can get something on I feel horrible in it. I’ve been big before and for that matter thought I was ‘big boned,’ as they like to say, my whole life. Yet, what I would give to be back in that body again. Now is the first time I have hit the point of my gut sticking out and nothing will hold it in and my stomach roll above the jeans showing no matter what I wear. Buying another wardrobe is out of the question! I already own one in 10 different sizes.
    Anyway, I was faced with the wretched feelings of insecurity BIG time and did not want to get out of my pajamas and go out into the public. In addition,, I have an ignition interlock on my car from a DUI over 3 years ago. So I am extremely embarrassed and insecure about what others will think of me if they see me taking a breathalyzer test in order to start my car and to keep it running. So between the two issues I was trying every excuse in the book to get out of getting out. My husband, God love him, wouldn’t budge. He said, “It would be good for you to get out.” Oh, how I hate those words! Well as it came to be, I went out uncomfortable as it was and did my errands as fast as I could. Needless to say I wasted a good 10 minutes of my time in my car waiting for it to be clear of people so I could do the breathalyzer and start my car. All because I was worried about what those strangers may think of me…more so that they may think as badly of me as I do myself. I just could not let that be seen. I’ve always had to uphold the perfect persona with the happy face on when reality was an infinite distance from that.

    3. What part of the definition/description didn’t resonate would be a better question?
    Ok, but here are some of the key parts I highlighted…profound self-doubt…self-conscious…fear of rejection…sensitive to a fault…deep uncertainty…intensity… chronic…self-centeredness…unrealistic expectations about love and relationships… hurt… own misery.
    Why? Because they all describe me but the hardest one to accept was the fact that it is a form of self-centeredness and that is hard for me to swallow. I have never thought of it that way and especially never thought of myself as self-centered.

  42. 292
    living4God says:

    (part 1.5)
    Desperation, pure desperation that would be a good title for this seemingly never-ending season of my life, a decade of intense desperation, filled with tying not to lose hope but too not hope too much because the fall is much greater each month. So why in this season of desperation am I reading this book? Seems pretty self-explanatory, I am desperate. Desperate to get my emotions and my life together, to move on and accept God’s path for my life. I am desperate for real happiness and hope for the future. After nearly 10 years of despair it’s hard to hang on to hope but even harder to let go of it. God is hope so why is it so frustratingly confusing and hard to balance. So among cleaning up my addictions, my marriage, my family relationships, I am going to also embark on cleaning up myself and my many insecurities. Which at the moment are roaring louder than before.
    So, what are my current insecurities? Name it. Name any and all and they are mine. Some I acquired in adulthood but most are embedded deep inside from my younger years. Just to cover a few of the main one that I am extremely and powerfully insecure about are: 1) my appearance in every sense of the matter, 2) my marriage, trust for me was broken when I was 13, 3) my sobriety, even if its been 3 years, and 4) my relationship, including with God. As for the specifics, the list is too long and ever-growing to put on this blog. But be sure, I have a list of them in my head and on paper.
    I am choosing to read this book for many reasons: 1) because I need the help, 2) I can relate to Beth, 3) I love her teachings, and 4) I need to turn them over to God and leave them at his feet and discontinue taking them back.

  43. 293
    living4God says:

    30s KS married (part 1)

    1. Season, what is a season? When does it start and stop? They tend to blend together. I am not talking about out “calander” of seasons, which doesn’t seem to match with God’s choice of seasonal weather anymore. So to me I say, what season of my life am I presently in? The same one I have been stuck in for years. I guess I would do with fall for the literal sense not the weather season. I’ve seem to have been in this season or rut (my preferred definition) for so long, I don’t know exactly when it started, if it stopped and when it started again. As with the seasons of weather it all seems to blend together into one deep black hole, full of despair spiraling downward (for myself anyway). If I had to pinpoint a time or defining moment on it, I suppose I would say at 21. Yes, the good old 21 that I had looked forward to for years. I was waiting to celebrate my 21st birthday in style or at least worldly style before I stopped taking birth control. At this point, my husband and I had been married for 3.5 years. We had had a rough start for sure: financially, legally, emotionally, you name we struggled with it. Young, we were so young and naive. All of out friends were having babies, most out of wedlock, and we had done so much “right” per say. We got married, bought a house with a yard in a good school district etc., waited until we were financially able (or as much as you can be), and we waited to we were older 21 and 24. LOL. Or at the time what we thought was older. Anyway, I thought we were doing all the right things or at least compared to our family and friends. Yes, insecurity abounds even then.
    Looking back, now 9.5 years later, we were far from doing the right thing. We smoked, drank, did drugs, and most importantly God was not actively in our life and most definitely not the center of it. Today, that is still a work in progress. However; we were both believers in God, we just didn’t act like it. Neither of us had a personal relationship with the Lord. But even with all that, I compared us to those around us and thought we were sitting pretty well, considering. I was happy or at least I thought I was happy. The only sure thing I knew I wanted when I grew up was to be a wife and stay at home mother. I was so excited to finally be able to experience that live growing inside of you. Crazy or not I was even stoked for natural labor and delivery. I so wanted a lil’ one to hold and love and (looking back) to love me too.
    Well, that was almost a decade ago, and still no pregnancy and no baby;
    just more debt, depression and despair. A roller coaster ride of deep longing, hoping, hurting and time filled with denial, anger, and back to denial. I am not even sure I am past those stages now; just intermixed grieving into the cyclical denial and anger. Coping or lack thereof, included anything and everything from sex, drugs, alcohol, depression, isolation, and even adultery. Yes, no matter how I try to minimize it, it is still adultery on both our parts, emotional and physical forms of adultery.

  44. 294
    Anonymous says:

    Oh my, I can't believe what I just caught myself doing! My book hasn't yet arrived, but I wanted to read some of the post because I'm so excited to get started [a real time sucker!]. I read a few pages of posts, then went back and was enlarging the pictures attached to the comments to see how the women looked…found myself thinking things like, but she's so thin, she's got a handsome man, she's adorable…how could she possibly have insecurities!

    Obviously, my book can not get here soon enough! Luckily I just happen to also be doing the Esther study at this time…so I guess there is surely hope for me! 🙂

  45. 295
    Melanie says:

    The last time I was face to face with my insecurity was last week at a super-bowl party. We were all telling stories and laughing, etc. but as I was on my way home reflecting on the evening I thought about a couple of things I said and began to think I came across as more of an idiot than anything and I was glad it would probably be a little while 'till I'd see them again. The time might make them forget what a twit I am.

    The part of the definition that hit me most was the constant fear of rejection. Growing up in a home where there was a constant threat of divorce after every single argument can make one wary of voicing an individual thought or concern lest it make another mad and want to leave you.

    You know, it's amazing to me to see my own private thoughts written in a book by a complete stranger. Only God – only you and I thank you both for the gift!

  46. 296
    Jamie says:

    Harvard, IL
    31 – happily married
    I have been thinking a lot about this the past few days, and then I read this article,7124,s6-243-297–13431-0,00.html
    I am now praying for her and that maybe she will read this book, and deal with her insecurities!

  47. 297
    Barbara35 says:

    New Orleans, LA

    The part that struck me the most was this passage.

    Maybe I subconsciously doubt God for using me. Let me be frank: If I were God, I wouldn't have given me a second look. I constantly feel unqualified, inadequate, and out of my league. I realized this morning that I not only lack security, I also lack faith. I don't just doubt myself, I also doubt God about myself. pg 18

  48. 298
    Meredith says:

    1) When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
    – Came home from work and told my husband a story that happened during my day. He listened to the story even though the TV was on, looked at me in the eye the whole time, and said a nice one word comment when I was done. I snapped at him with a smart comment, got mad and stomped away. To me, his not turning the TV off and not wanting to probe me further about the story at work meant that I was uninteresting and very low on his priority list. It actually wasn't that his actions meant that at all, it just revealed my unrealistic expectations and my own fears that I am both uninteresting and low on his priority list.

    3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
    -Profound sense of self-doubt, anxiety about relationships, fear of rejection, unrealistic expectations about relationships to name a few. But, I believe that the profound sense of self-doubt is huge. Everything I do I constantly question on whether it was the right thing. Leftovers mean that the meal probably wasn't the right choice, small decisions made weeks ago are still obsessed about, and there have been times whole emails have been discarded right before sending because I doubted their worth.

    Anderson, SC

  49. 299
    Anonymous says:

    To Janice in Canistota, NY:
    Those "ladies" at the picnic are being extremely unprofessional and showing they have issues way worse than insecurity! We'll leave them for God to discipline..
    A recent example of relying on a false positive – appearance -I'm having eye problems that prevent me from wearing contacts. I've been surprised at how much it bothers me.

    Becky B.
    Westerville, OH

  50. 300
    Julie says:

    Strongsville, OH

    My small group went to your simulcast and changed our book mid-stream to do your new book! It is amazing (and sad) that insecurity affects so many women. But I thank the Lord that He is using you to address it. It really is a HUGE issue. What's funny to me is how many in my group when they read the first chapter felt it didn't apply to them. Then with digging deeper slowly it dawned on them, "I guess I do struggle with that". So thank you, Beth for putting it out there for all of us to take a hard look, ask the tough questions and bring it to the Lord to heal. God Bless

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