So Long Insecurity: Discussion Group Roll Call!

OK, Sisters! Let’s hear it! Who wants to participate? IT’S TIME FOR ROLL CALL.

Here’s what you do:
*Enter ONE COMMENT PER PERSON so that we can tell from the number of comments exactly how many are participating. If you’re overseeing a small group through our blog discussion, please ask each participant to sign up separately. It will only take a few moments and will make the list so much more fun and far easier to read. If you invited a friend to participate but she doesn’t know how to post a comment yet, sign up for her then take her through AJ’s tutorial (see previous post) so she can learn to do it on her own from this point forward. Remember that we moderate all comments here so please don’t sign up twice unless you still don’t see yours posted the next day.

*In your comment, give your…
First Name
City, State (or Nation! We have so many Canadian Siestas, you know!)
Age decade (20’s, 30’s, 40’s, etc.)
Single or Married

If this happens to be the first time you’ve ever participated in this community, let us know! You are so welcome here. You are also under no pressure. This is strictly to enrich your sweet life, not to add one more interminable thing to your schedule. In the weeks to come, add a comment when you want. Otherwise, just enjoy perusing the insights and discussions of others as often as you like.

Today is roll call for our book discussion then this coming Thursday, February 11th, I’ll give your first reading assignment and post your first week’s questions. You’ll have all week to post your answers through a comment so don’t panic if you ordered a book and it hasn’t come yet. It won’t be hard to catch up. Again, if you don’t feel like you have anything to add that week, no big deal! The more we limit our answers to the questions that particularly resonate with us, the richer our commentary will be.

You guys are such a blast. I can’t wait to take this journey with you. You were such a huge inspiration that it’s fitting. To those of you who are joining us for the first time in order to participate in a “book club” experience, we are thrilled you are here. Jump in!

I’m crazy about you. Let’s dump a bad friend, Girls.


4,965 Responses to “So Long Insecurity: Discussion Group Roll Call!”

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  1. 4901
    Ann says:

    I have been a fan of your books for a long time. I finished So Long, Insecurity last spring but am reading it again. My husband of over twenty years left me (and our two, teenaged daughters) last fall due to his desire to live “his other life” – one that has involved infidelity with more women than he can count (his words), excessive lies, and a lost soul. My love for him, our girls, and my sacred promises to God when we were married kept me willing to help him through his struggles. He has told me since his decision to divorce that he has betrayed me for most of our marriage and that I never really knew him. He was a detective for the first thirteen years of our marriage and then a government employee who worked overseas for two/three months at a time. I always thought I was supporting his dream career and kept our family close while he was gone. It was very easy for him to live another life, despite my undying trust I gave him. Divorce was never an answer for me. I knew that with God’s mercy and love, our marriage could survive anything. My husband, however, does not feel the same way. He is adament that he does not want to be married and does not love me.
    There’s so much more to my story, but I am struggling with my feelings of self-worth. The rejection of his love has caused me to wonder each day what is so wrong with me…why wasn’t I good enough for him. What did these women have that I don’t have? I’m a believer of our God and His plan. I, however, cannot shake all my feelings of insecurity and worthlessness. I love deeply, and my husband was a vital part of my life. I want so badly to hold onto the fact that all I need is God’s grace and that I am worthy of love. I have allowed my husband to steal all feelings of security and worthiness.
    Thank you, Beth, for being a best friend through your books. Your words have gotten me through many dark days and will continue to do so. I not only “believe in God, but I believe God.” I keep falling into the pit, but He drags me back out. I am on a journey to find myself again, and I pray each day that God will help me realize that yes, I am worthy of much love and joy.

    • 4901.1
      Beth says:

      Oh, Ann. I am so sorry for the pain you have endured. You are of priceless value to your very faithful God. May He go out of His way to demonstrate His love to you and your family. May He also make something beautiful from all this brokenness. I care so much.

      • Ann says:

        Thank you for your prayers. My husband played the part of the loving husband and dad up until the day he called from Iraq to tell me he was never coming home again. We had just spent the summer celebrating our 20 year anniversary and planning our future. It has been a shock to our close friends and family. When we were together, he acted like the girls and me were his world. He would even call two/three times a day while he was overseas to tell me how much he loved me and couldn’t wait to get home. His emails would be full of beautiful words. We’d always laugh and have fun, no matter what we were doing. Everyone thought we were the perfect family. I thanked God every day for having such a wonderful husband and daughters. It’s hard for me to comprehend how he led two lives for so long. I trusted him completely, and he gave me no reason to think otherwise until I found out about his secret life. I prayed for guidance and wanted to do everything I could to help him find his way back to our family. He made me believe he wanted to save our marriage and he would never hurt us again. He lied.
        I know God will take care of everything. I am a little impatient, though, and I have multiple conversations with Him throughout the day. I believe in miracles and am a product of the fairy tale syndrome. I don’t know what the future holds. I just hope that my daughters marry a faithful man who will always love and cherish them as my husband should have me. Thanks again for your words and kindness. You will never know how much you’ve helped me through all this darkness. God does create angels on Earth…you.

        • Jae says:

          I am writing this so long after this was posted by you, Ann. I am lifting you up in prayer, whether you know it or ever see this post, I am thinking of you & I can relate. I let my feelings of unworthiness from MAN control my thoughts & not only throw me into the pit, but I feel sometimes as though I allow myself to be pushed. I have wondered the same things you have & it seems like it’s absolute torture on the soul. I am admitting my impatience, asking If I pray this hard, why do I not feel like I have enough faith inside to recognize His deliverance? I have made a fool of myself trying to get answers I know I will not get, but keep digging for them anyway (thereby, sliding down into the pit that I want so bad to be out of). Ann, you ARE worthy because I hear the love in your heart just reading your words of how you held your family together. I hope to hear from you, but if not – please know I am thinking of you

    • 4901.2
      Lara Lynn says:

      It’s not that YOU weren’t good enough for HIM. HE isn’t good enough for YOU. I too, am a divorced woman of a very sick and lost man like that. I have yelled, Liar liar pants on fire! Do that, it will get all of the hurt out. Pray each day for God to bring you peace. One day, you will find that, that damaging bullet in your heart is almost gone. However, remember to forgive your ex as you will never recover u til you do. 🙂 You have God in your heart, be patient with yourself. HE will work all of this for you and your girls into an experience you can share with other women who need YOUR help through their time of need. Beth Moore studies, after my divorce, helped pave my way to a peaceful life.

      But the Lord is faithful and will give you strength and will protect you from the Evil One.
      2 Thessalonians 3:3.

      Ann, this one really spoke to me as it got me through several situations the first 5 years of my divorce. Stay in the Word, especially when you feel your worst. HE will pull you out of this. 🙂 smile through your pain and know your children will be okay. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 keep smiling. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 And God bless, Lara

    • 4901.3
      Cheryl says:

      I know it’s been 3 years since this post, however I am going through a similar situation now with my husband, and my stance exactly like the writer’s. Ann, would like to know what happened with your marriage, but most importantly how are you?

  2. 4902
    Dada Olajumoke Olabimipe says:

    I am a fan of your books.So far i have read three but the most striking was so long insecurity.It really express what i sometimes feel and recently felt that made me lose a desired friendship.Keep the flag flying.God bless.

  3. 4903
    Carole Anne says:

    I’m about 2/3 of the way through So Long Insecurity and have received such new insight from the book!

    I get a major dose of insecurity when I make an apology and get no response from the person. To be honest, the situation leaves me feeling empty and condemned even though I have repented to God and have been forgiven by Him. Thank You, Jesus…

    I know my feelings are my responsibility and no one else’s, and I don’t fault anyone other than myself.

    I so want to shake this issue and stop sinking?

  4. 4904
    Cindy Mills says:

    I have to tell you how much I need this book, and freedom from insecurity! I was at the orthodontist with my son, and decided to take my book to pass the time. I slipped the outer cover off before entering the office, because I didn’t want anyone to see me reading it!!! Talk about bondage!! The receptionist spotted your name on my book, and said “I just love her, don’t you?”, and then she asked the crucial question..what is the name of it?! I confessed my insecurity over my insecurities, and we both got a laugh over it! Anyway, with God’s help and this book…I am going to be set free. I just love ya, girl! Keep on keeping on.

  5. 4905
    Alisha says:

    Beth, I’m so excited to read through your book with the women of our church this fall. I can’t tell you how perfect God’s timing is in the women’s ministry choosing “So Long Insecurity” for our study. I have always struggled with wanting to please people which in turn brings insecurities and, truthfully, my confidence is shot. I fear that the depth of my insecurities is now beginning to ever so slightly create walls in my marriage of less than 2 years and in friendships. Your insight and matter-of-fact way of speaking is so refreshing and has always gotten through to my heart and my head. I’m so ready to say goodbye to this not-so-nice friend with your help…and the help of the Holy Spirit who dwells within you. So this fall I’m saying…”SO LONG INSECURITY!!!” Thanks=)

  6. 4906
    leah says:

    manhattan, kansas

  7. 4907
  8. 4908
    PUA DVD's says:

    Thanks for the great post!

  9. 4909
    Diana says:

    Beth, I want to tell you what a blessing you have been in my life lately. Recently finished your books “Get out of That Pit” and “So Long Insecurity”… what timely messages for me. Have been a longtime pit dweller (even put up wallpaper on the walls in my pit!!). Have battled insecurity ALL my life…am the 10th of 13 children and a native Canadian Indian. I was poor, a minority, insanely shy and my father was an alcoholic.
    By God’s grace, my mother realized her need for God in her life and felt led to send us to sunday school when I was very young. We went to a large inner city church in Canada and were picked up every sunday by school bus; I was a “bus ministry kid”. I came to know Christ as my Saviour as a young girl. I have always felt like I did not “fit in” with any of my peer groups growing up; I knew I was “different” from the kids at school and felt like I was not accepted by my peers at church because their parents brought them and EVERYONE knew I was an Indian and my father was an alcoholic. I have often felt that there were many of the “old” families in the church who couldn’t accept my family because we had crossed the line from being a “ministry” to wanting to be one of them. I determined as a young woman that I was going to prove to everyone that I was greater than my very lowly and humble beginnings and that I was going to be successful. I became a tough, independent and very lonely person. I tried to compensate for my loneliness with friends, family and eventually a wonderful husband and two great sons.
    Your words in your books have reached deep into the holes in my heart in ways no other words ever have. I have confronted myself in ways I needed to for years.
    I grew up with sexual abuse in my family. Though I was not abused, I can share that I felt that burden of that abuse especially because my youngest sister was one of the abused and I felt tremendous guilt wondering where I was when it happened and what could I have done to prevent it.
    I have tried to always be better at whatever I do than anyone else. I have realized that my greatest fear is my fear of failing. I was the oldest of all my friends when I finally got married, I went through many years of infertility in my quest to be a mother and finally gave birth for the first time at the age of 39 (we did adopt our first son four years prior to that), and most recently I left a job in some disgrace because I offended and hurt the people I was working with.
    I have had time to read and God spoke to me LOUDLY through the pages in your books. There are many hurts God is healing and I am learning to trust Him; this has been a tough time for me but a necessary purging of the my “old self”.
    Thank you for sharing your heart and opening yourself to me and so many other women.

  10. 4910

    Sarah ANGEL Martinez
    im in my late 20S

    • 4910.1
      Beth says:

      Dearest Sarah Angel, only God can give you the desire to desperately seek faith. That means He is seeking you. Absorb the great significance of such a thing. May Jesus become your Security. He loves you so much. Welcome.

  11. 4911
    Stephanie says:

    Hi, my name is Stephanie. I am from Williston, Florida. I am in my mid twenties. I have been married to my high school sweet heart and best friend for 5 1/2 years. He is the one that purchased this book for me on my birthday this year. I have participated in the Siesta Summer bible study for the last two summers with my friends. This is my first time going at it alone. I have always had issues with insecurity. My issues grew larger after I had my son this past year. I had gained a lot of weight and since I delivered via c-section I wasn’t able to exercise for quite a while. The weight just wasn’t going anywhere! I gradually slipped into a small depression. I just hated the way I looked, despite my husband telling me everyday that I was beautiful. I decided after a month to go see my physician, she made some simple reccomendations and I started exercising more regularly and most importantly spending time with God in prayer. And eventually I came out of it. I ended up losing a bunch of weight and drawing closer to God than I had ever before. There is just something about drawing near to God in the valleys of our lives. Despite my big strides I still somewhat struggle with insecurity and I am currently dealing with infertility as we try again for our second child. I want to use this bible study to draw near to God during this trying time and remind myself daily that I am loved by God despite my many inperfections. Thank You Beth for writing this book I can’t wait to read it!

  12. 4912
    Laura says:

    Going to begin reading this book again, I actually purchased it at the simulcast, and even purchased it on my Ipad, see I have no excuse any,ore for not getting better. I am so ready to get rid of this very very bad friend. Thank you Beth for being such a Godly woman.

  13. 4913
    Kim says:

    Our Soul Sistas group at church is studying this book now and doing an online discussion. I just love the book so far and the discussions going on. We are finding that we are not alone in our insecurities and that we all have very similar ones as well. I love how God knits us together in order to demonstrate His expansive love!

  14. 4914
    Rhonda Sue Page says:

    Hi Siestas!,

    I’m a newbie to the site, but currently reading the book. This may sound absolutely outrageous but I’ve recently been awakened to the fact that satan had me in knots over being insecure about just talking to God. A few years back I felt myself growing and become very strong in my faith. I was having deep conversations with God and really began enjoying life. I became rooted in my church and found myself loving every minute of facilitation Beth’s bible studies there. I trusted all that I was learning. The homework was where I was making most of my progress. Then something happened..It started subtly where I began questioning my sanity at believing that God actually was speaking to me through His word or to my heart when I would pray. Even though I could line what he was saying up with his Word, doubt crept in to the point that I began to back off my time with Him. For instance, when I would find my heart thanking Him for giving me flowers daily on my hibiscus tree ……..a thought would follow how nuts that was. I was a freak to read so deeply in to my walk with Him… It was just a tree. I actually began have to have moments of depression and despair after that. It’s like my head believed in God but my heart started doubting that He could love me enough to want to be so involved in my life.
    Not long after, we made a move from Texas to Jersey. This seemed to bring my whole world crashing down on me. I really struggled to even find a church, and everyday I felt my relationship with God was slipping into a less of a friendship and more of a routine of going through the motions of being a Christian. I became even more disenchanted, After all, He seemed to have dumped me into a spiritual wasteland.
    Months passed and turned to years. I was still tormented, depressed and angry because I felt I should be able to handle all of it and yet was unable to do a thing to save myself from any of it. I wanted to be a good Christian for some of the most pressure-filled reasons, like being an example to my unsaved husband. But mostly I was just frustrated and resentful which played as anger and bitterness. It humiliated me that I wasn’t displaying any victorious qualities and in fact was making it seem that being a follower of Christ was pretty sad.
    Thank God for His committed faithfulness! He has been helping me find “treasure in the darkness” (Isaiah 45:3). I was even able to attend Beth’s conference in Lowell, MA recently where I learned exactly what that “treasure” was. And Guess what? It was the thoughts of being loved that would pop into my head all through out the day that I’d been trying to turn off for the last two years. It was the fact that I could understand His Word as he gave me understanding and it didn’t matter my educational degree, it was still valid learning. It was that I wasn’t responsible to “save” my husband but I could love him everyday with the love of Christ and no pressure to change. and get this…… it most certainly WAS the daily fresh blooms on my hibiscus tree.
    Beth – what I love most about you is your deep love for God and that you are unafraid/unashamed to deeply believe Him and take Him at His word. To look beyond the seen and search for the deeper life. All I wanted all along was permission to be me……….And that is also who I am. I let insecurity rob me of being okay with demonstratively loving God and talking to and about Him all the time. My heart is at peace again finally. So if this is “crazy”…………I’m cool with it now. I see His splendor in everything again. I look for the divine even in hardship and I’m okay with being in the spiritual darkness of the NE. I hope and pray that just makes Him shine all the more brighter in and through me 🙂

  15. 4915
    Cassie says:



    I just finished SLI and I had to thank you! Every single word was a blessing and revelation to me. I thank God for you. You have been such an amazing inspiration and blessing to me. Even though God has been there all along it never occurred to me to ask him to take away my insecurity or to quote scripture during times of struggle. Because of this book opening my eyes, my baby daughter has the example of a confident Godly woman in her own home in her own mother. I pray she will not have the same debilitating struggles I’ve had. I have to admit, in the beginning I guess was too insecure to tell anyone I was reading a book on insecurity. Now, I want to tell everyone about it. I want to thank you for putting yourself out there. You are oh so loved!

  16. 4916
    Lindsey says:


    Bowling Green, Kentucky




    • 4916.1
      Lindsey says:

      OH, and this is my first time participating, which makes it even more exciting! Me and a friend have decided to read through it together and discuss each week what God is teaching us. This blog is going to help facilitate that conversation. I’m already enjoying SO much being part of this community!

  17. 4917
    Amanda says:

    Words cannot express how deeply your book touched my heart. I read this book in two days on the heels of a very desperate plea to God to help me with my deep feelings of unworthiness. And I don’t know if this is where I need to express this, but I have never, ever in my adult life felt as compelled as I do now to let an author of a book know how moved I was by their words, their story, and their heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting God use you, Beth to write this book. There were many times I just wept as I was totally able to relate to your stories as well as the stories of others. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel alone in this struggle. I feel like it many ways, especially in Christian circles, and ESPECIALLY those in ministry (we work overseas in a closed country), that struggling with insecurity is shameful, and only certain kinds of people (me, being one of them) struggle with it. I think that the Christian community and especially those that work overseas, try to hide their struggles with insecurity and inadequacy (and of course, a whole host of other sin issues) because we aren’t “supposed” to struggle with it. And while the Lord has allowed me to make tremendous progress in the road to healing in the past several years, when setbacks happen (and they have), they will come in unstoppable waves of darkness, which fill me with even more shame than before since I should be over this struggle with insecurity. For the first time in my life, however, I feel that I will finally be able, through the power of the Living God who has set up residence in my heart, to be rid of this terrible, terrible struggle once and for all. May the Lord bless you and your family as you are a blessing to so many, and thank you for being sensitive to His leading in writing this book.

  18. 4918
    Joey says:

    Georgetown, TX



    1st time participant!

  19. 4919
    Theresa says:

    Just ordered the book. Can’t wait to get it. I have been shy and insecure most of my life. Heard about the book on His Radio and felt I needed to read it.

    1st time participant!!

  20. 4920
    Debbie says:

    Just purchased So long insecurity, and about to sit down to read it. Have worked in many of your studies Beth. Breaking Free by far is the most meaningful one of all to me. I have also started on Living Free this morning, and have Praying God’s word on my nightstand, so I am ALL into your studies and books. I believe insecurity is by far the worst of the worst things that I am struggling with, so I need all the prayer in the world to get set free from this monster I am really praying that God will use this book to help me. I cry out to God all the time for help with this one major area of stuggle with insecurity. I know that God is working in my life right now and only by and through His power, grace and mercy will I be delivered once and for all from this bondage of insecurity. I have a website ( that is totally all God inspired just for women, so I know God is at work and He is using me. Things I write about are life stories and as I write to others God is setting me free from bondages. It’s like rubberbands being broken loose. I have by no means arrived, or I would not be here. Thanks for all of your love and support, your books, and your studies. May God bless you and continue to use you. Debbie one of your many followers! South Carolina

  21. 4921
    Lindsay says:

    I hope I can still participate!
    Denton, Texas
    better late than never 🙂

  22. 4922
    Mary says:

    So Long Insecurity jumped out at me @ Lifeway and now I can not put it down. I am 60 years old and I clearly see now how my insecurities that have attached to me through the years from losing my Mother at 20 years from breast cancer, losing my Father at 30 years old and then a pregnancy at 37 where my daughters father walked out in the therapist office when I was 5 months pregnant. Then a brother passing and last was being diagnosed with breast cancer. The insecurities I have dragged along on my journey of life has caused me such lack of confidence. It is clear to see the times I did not pursue opportunities and relationships that may have been put their by God. For years I have felt robbed of my self-confidence, living in fear and would continue to hear those inner voices…..”you will never amount to anything” or “who would ever want you”. Your prayer in chapter 9 blew me away! The Holy Spirit was all over me in the first three words….and I cried like a baby. I have three chapters left and I may have to read the book again to make sure it all sinks in and I did not miss any Beth Wisdom!. At this moment life still feels heavy and it is hard to be productive. Feeling numb and hoping when I finish your book on this Valentine’s Day Night I will be blessed with amazing energy, wisdom and passion with no turning back. Beth I feel the love in your heart and hear your voice as I read your words. I thank God for placing you in our lives and bringing the Lord’s teaching to our hearts. Happy Valentine’s Day Beth!

    • 4922.1
      KMac says:

      Dear sweet Mary, we are so thankful to know the Lord is speaking His love and security to you this this book! Lean on Him, He is worthy…and He loves you so!

  23. 4923
    Amber says:

    I have enjoyed the book so much. I thought it was just me going through this..I am so thankful to know I am not the only one. I am still reading should finish this week!

  24. 4924
    Laurie Sweetman says:

    near Kingston Ontario, Canada
    single (again)

    I have not yet purchased this book…but intend to this week. Perhaps some of us late joiners could be added into the next wave of this blog updates?!

  25. 4925
    Amy says:

    I just finished the book…WOW!!! I’ve been struggling with trying to forgive someone who is dead for what they did to me. The little girl I was. I now understand the why’s of the mistakes and regrets of my life. I now know the mercy of God has kept me from knowing the big WHY of my life…it’s probably bigger than I can handle.
    Thank you for helping me see we all are insecure. The men who have been in (and out) of my life, my child, my friends. I think I understand them just a little bit more.
    I can now say to myself (and mean it!) that I am God’s child, I am loved, I have my security, and I can have my dignity back.
    I’m so looking forward to the future. To the woman I will be the rest of my life, the woman in love with God, the woman who knows her passions and purpose. I thought I was at the end of my ‘rope’ and now I’m looking forward to all that life has to offer.
    Thank you for writing this book (and to the lovely woman who suggested I read it), and for the way you write. Just like you’re talking to me.
    I am encouraged and renewed.
    Thank you!!!!!

  26. 4926
    Misty says:

    I am really looking forward to this study. We as women so often don’t realize who we are in Christ.

  27. 4927
    Misty says:


    Knoxville, TN



  28. 4928
    Jennifer says:


    Hope Mills, NC



  29. 4929
    Ellen says:

    leading a small group of single again women thru this book

  30. 4930
    Lindsay says:

    Dear Beth

    Looks like I am a tad bit late to get on the blog, but better late than never. Your book has been such a blessing. I checked it out at the library and am going to buy it. For years I have been struggling with insecurity and my faith. I accepted Jesus as my Savior and asked him into my heart when I was 12. However, as I got older and began struggling with the things every woman will struggle with my insecurity grew. I was sexually abused at a very young age. I craved attention from my dad and the attention I got was not the kind I wanted. He would tell me I was fat, my teeth were crooked, and I wasn’t an attractive teen. There seemed to be nothing I could do to make him happy and now that I look back, love me. As as teen and then into my college and 20’s I sought love from any man. And, I am ashamed I acted in ways that are now embarassing fed into my insecurity. It’s funny how events in childhood like mental abuse, sexual abuse, and simply wanting your father to love you can impact you in your adult life.

    At times when I should have been on my knees talking to God I chose the Lindsay detour of life. Well, let’s just say it not only landed me in several pits .. it allowed insecurity to creep even deeper into my life leading me to depression. My life came crashing down a couple of months ago and I lost my job, boyfriend, and had to move back home with my parents. (Which I am truly blessed for having great parents in that reguard, but at times I feel like a failure.) It was while crying at the library in my small town I searched your name and two books popped up. I checked out So Long Insecurity. This book feels like you wrote it just for me. But, at the same time, while I felt that I was not good enough for God to help me out .. the more I read the more this feeling of security overcame me and I just cried and prayed and asked for my confidence back and my jars to be healed.

    I know God has given you such an amazing gift. Having grown up in a church where we were taught to fear God and fear Hell (in a very scary way), you have helped me have a close relationship with God. I do fear Him, but not in a scary way. I know it’s ok to pray and talk to Him about my fears and confess my sins from the past and ask Him and Jesus to heal my heart and spirit. Having been away from the church for so long and thinking I was not worthy of asking for help you have taught me God wants us back and is willing to help us and give us that security and love .. all we have to do is ask.

    Words can not express the gratitude I have to you for what you do and to God for not only giving me another chance to grow with Him but for also bringing you into my life. Every night I pray for the work at Living Proof. I know God is using you to reach people like me .. who think they are not worthy of another chance.

    God bless you,


    Oh, and relationship with my dad has improved 150% since he was saved six years ago. He’s like a new man and reaches out to try and heal the old wounds. As he tells me .. he always loved me he just never knew how to say it.

  31. 4931
    shay says:

    so I must be way behind the curve…but I just bought the book yesterday and can’t wait to get started this weekend. I think all women succumb to new, old and/or buried insecurities and at times we can be crippled by the tiniest of them, but we also don’t talk or share them so they remain dormant only to revive and dominate when we go through a rough patch. What I desire is deliverance and for any stronghold in my life to be non-existant. Wish me luck! Or better yet…keep me in your prayers!

  32. 4932
    Carolyn Norton says:

    Beth, I’m leading a women’s small group in ATLANTA, GA of single girls in their 20’s, and we just started this study and I love it already! I see that this blog hasn’t been updated since Feb. though. Do you have anything past this update on “So Long Insecurity”? I’m looking for good insight and resources on this for my girls. Thanks!
    (a devoted fan of your’s in Atlanta)!

    • 4932.1
      KMac says:

      Hey Carolyn, If you use the search field on the blog home page for “So Long Insecurity”, you’ll find the other discussion posts.

  33. 4933
    Kat says:

    Where have I been? How did I miss this? I believe that God is asking me to lead out with the women in our small town church. I am going kicking and screaming! Ugh! I don’t have enough sense to keep my own life straight! I am purchasing this book today. I bought the workbooks several weeks ago for my daughter, myself and a dear friend not knowing how I was going to use it. Please keep me in prayer as I step out into this.

  34. 4934
    Vivian Wayland says:

    Thank you for sharing on the web with those of us not in a group for SLI. I would love to have a group of women come study this with me, however, my question is, once this dialogue has been posted a few months ago – is there a current group going? or can we get access to the questions/discussion? And, does your online discussion follow any type of book format (workbook type format)? Thank you, Vivian

  35. 4935
    Lynn Allen says:

    This is my first time every doing a blog. However, I wanted to let you know how enriched my life has been since reading and journeying So Long, Insecurity. I have followed you for some time (in your books, that is) and have been blessed! But nothing like this. I am a pastor, and I also teach theology, but in all of that I suffered at the hand of insecurity. Thank you Beth, for helping me to see myself through the eyes of God. I went today and purchased 4 more of your books. One for my sister (the one and only – we have no parents or other siblings), I adopted two girls 10 years ago and I purchased one for each of them. I have an friend who is an attorney, who just went through some critical times in her life. I also purchased one for her. I will be going back tomorrow to purchase another one for a close friend of mine who is going through a very trying time in her marriage. My marriage was on the verge of collapsing. But praise be to God, after reading your book, I was able to forgive and move on with my life. This book has impacted my entire family. I will continue to gift your books to women that I come across that are in need of this same journey. We have a school for at-risk youth and first time offender (kids who are victimized by domestic violence). I do group weekly with them when I am not on missions. I plan to get your book (and today I noticed you have a workbook also), to do group with the girls. I know it will help these young ladies tremendously. May God continue to richly and abundantly bless you – With Love . . . At the Feet of my Savior, Dr. Lynn Allen

  36. 4936
    Sandy Bowers says:

    Bryan, Ohio

    I know this was started over a year ago, but I’m just now starting to read the book. So I figured I go ahead and following along with Beth’s questions and discussion.

    Can’t wait to get over this constant fear of not being good enough…….

  37. 4937
    Sandy says:

    Hi, Beth I’m 49 been married to my wonderful husband for 22 yrs. Three children and 4 grandkids wich i adore. I’ve been reading all the past comments so I’m going to give this book a try. I read “Get Out of the Pit” and I loved it. I’m always watching you on “You Tube.”

    I have some serious issues with insecurities. I was sexually molested by three different men from the age of 4 till 10. So I know it has to do with that. I did not know my dad till the age of 10 and I found out that he was a singer (which my mom had also told me some stories about him playing in a band) after we met though I though things wil be different but he went his way I went mine. But I always yearn to be loved by him. I grew up loving music and I hear that I have a nice voice so when I got saved 25 yrs ago I threw myself into the music ministry at church. But I struggle so much when I have to minister and thru the years it has gotten worse. So much that I have decided not to sing anymore and I’m wondering if that’s what the Lord has called me to do. It’s been a year now this month that I stepped down from worship and a day does not go by that I don’t think about it and how I miss it. But you see in my present worship team there were 2 sisters that a few times (because I was not hitting the right key or sometimes could not get the harmony right) wil make little remarks or look at each other and make faces and that was an open door for the enemy to mess with what was already there. Yes, I know it’s the enemy but I do not know how to shake this insecurity out. I have prayed, fasted, asked God to give me a sign and I don’t hear from him. I just recently read the book “A Confident Heart” by Renee Swope and I’ve been praying ever since for the Lord to heal me and give a confident heart. I want to so bad to go back and sing but just the thought of singing especially with those two sisters there gives me the creeps. After I stepped down from worship I met with them and told them how I felt but they denied everything (the looks and smirks) so there is not much I can do. The worship team leader is aware of this but til this day he has not even asked me if the problem has been resolved or if I’m planning to come back. I was part of this team for 7 years not a couple of months and it hurts. I have even prayed about leaving to another church and have visited some but when I see how good their worship team is I hear a voice telling me “you are not good enough to sing with them, they are going to laugh at you” seriously that’s what I hear. I am not the type to sit at church and do nothing so I’m praying now to maybe be a part of a women’s group in church. I was looking for ideas and this is how I came about this site. Sometimes i wonder also maybe singing is not my calling and i do it because it relates me with my dad? I do remember the few times i met with my dad we used to sing together and he alwyas complemented me and made feel so proud so maybe that’s why. Maybe I’m called to do something else and I’m going thru all this so that i can know and do other things in ministry. I hope that your book will give me the key to deliver me from this. Thank you all and pleasepray for me.

  38. 4938
    nikki says:

    I am a 40 year old mom and wife. I have been married for 15 years and have recently discovered that my husband is addicted to internet porn. I have really hit bottom and very insecure in my self image. I will never compete with that and have been very hurt by my husbands unfaithful addiction.My friend just shared with me that she was reading your book. Heartbroken and broken im ready to read this…going to order the book.

  39. 4939
    Stacey Clark says:

    Hi Beth,
    I have been listening to your series on Security. I have yet to read your book So Long Insecurity but am in the process of ordering it TODAY. The security series has been the hardest thing I have ever had to listen to. EVERYTHING you said is me. Let me make a long story short. The Lord found me and saved me when I was 19 years old. My family did not accept my conversion so I decided to go to bible college to seek the Lord and this new found wounderful life. I did not intend to find a husband like most girls who go to bible college but the Lord had another plan. The preacher said to pray specifically for the man you want to marry, specifically word for word I said I would like a man that is about 5’7, brown hair green eyes and the sweetest most loving country boy ever created. A few months being into bible college my country boy walked in. What I didn’t know or pray for was a preacher for a husband lol. I was so in love I had no idea what I was getting myself into. 6 months later I was married to the man that I could have only dreamed of. My precious mother in law gave me a piece of advice that I have never been able to get rid of no matter what. Trust me I have tried. She said, “Stacey whatever church you work in or wherever God sends you you draw close to the Pastor and his family. You prottect them in prayer, protect them against gossip, at all cost you protect them.” This is great advice and we have lived by this for the past 18 years in ministry. We were absolutely loved uncounditionally everywhere we went, we gave our complete selves to the ministry. 10 years ago the Lord chose to bring us to the desert in Phoenix Arizona. We had no idea that our lives would forever change. From day 1 I have felt so lost and unloved, every decision I make is questioned, every word I say is taken wrong and all of this from the Pastor and family. We have been slandered with false accusations I can not begin to tell you the heart break. Beth if anyone else in the church didn’t love me I would hate it but could get through but the fact that we are shunned by the Pastor and family is almost too much to bear. My insecurities have over taken me and I am at the end of my rope with this. We have no family or close friends here and I believe with all of my heart that the Lord brought us here because so many wonderful things have come out of a barren desert, but knowing that and feeling unloved is breaking my heart into pieces. My insecurities have started long before I ever married a preacher and maybe this is the Lord’s way of having me deal with this I don’t know but have you ever felt this way, has anyone ever felt this way when you are in ministry and shunned by the very ones that you are supposed to be closest too? Please pray for me, my husband is okay and does not seem to care who likes him or who doesn’t but as a woman I can’t hardly take being unloved or maybe just not loved like I want. I don’t know I am willing to do whatever it takes to break free from this I just don’t know what to do. I feel exactly like what you said in one of your teachings, “Lord you have brought me through some horrible trials and you are going to allow me to die with this..” I am desperate so desperate that I have thought about checking myself into the mental hospital lol really I have, but I am a mom and a wife and I have to get through this. I am scared and then I feel guilty for being scared, ugh I have never in my life felt this way. I turned 40 this year and I feel like a helpless little girl with so many insecurities I don’t know what to do, I want to climb up in my daddy’s lap and let him take care of it terrible to want someone to take care of you? I have taken care of sooo many for so many years in ministry that I feel the need myself:( Then I feel guilty for that becaus I am supposed to be strong. Please forgive me for being so real but I can’t pretend anymore:( Please if there are any preachers wives out there who have ever felt this way and came through it please I am open for any advice you can give. Thank you for this blog, had I not found it who knows what could have happened.
    Your sister,

    • 4939.1
      Victoria says:


      I am not a preachers wife, nor am I in Arizona, but I will say this… The Lord will not give you what you cannot handle. He ALWAYS has a plan and I pray that you have found or will find His intention for your hurts.

      Consider the story of Job and His suffering and may it encourage you. 🙂

      God Bless!

  40. 4940
    Mallory Thomas says:

    Mallory Thomas

    Spring Hill, TN



  41. 4941
    Victoria says:

    Victoria M
    I am 20 years old
    I live in Wellington, FL

    I decided to purchase/read this book today. I am a volleyball coach for young women ages 12-18. I want to be able to give them a proper example of what self-worth and positive self esteem through Christ can really do for you as a person.

    I too grew up in a verbally abusive and divorced (mother and father still are fighting over everything)home. I was adopted at birth. I have fought with myself over self-image and worth ever since I can remember. There have been dark days where self-harm seemed like my only option.

    I have now been engaged for going on three years (this November). I am praying this book will really show me how to not only have confidence in myself, but allow that confidence to flourish my future marriage as well. I truly believe that insecurities in myself will directly/negatively affect my mariage with the man I love, so I am looking to better myself to better US. I cannot wait to begin my journey with Beth and the Lord.

    *Fingers Crossed!!!*

  42. 4942
    Courtney says:

    Ok so I have read a little bit of so long insecurities and it looks like I’m gonna be getting it again. Thankfully I believe we have it at my church library. By the way my name is Courtney Vinzant. I am 28 years old. This is my first time on this! looking forward to hearing from you beth and talking to and getting to know others. I just love you Beth. You have such a love for the Lord! I just recently ordered the book breaking free bible study that I plan to hopefully do with my best friend who lives in Texas and I live here in California!

    I know for myself that I am definitely tired of having insecurity. I feel like I don’t look pretty unless my hair is straightened. I feel like there are other girls that are a lot prettier than I am. And I know I have no right to think like that. God sees me as His beautiful child! I want to see myself as God sees me! I love God with every thing in me! He means more to me than life itself!

  43. 4943
    Elizabeth Hill says:

    Upper pennisula of Michigan

  44. 4944
    Karen says:


    West Virginia



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So Long Insecurity: Discussion Group Roll Call!

OK, Sisters! Let’s hear it! Who wants to participate? IT’S TIME FOR ROLL CALL.

Here’s what you do:
*Enter ONE COMMENT PER PERSON so that we can tell from the number of comments exactly how many are participating. If you’re overseeing a small group through our blog discussion, please ask each participant to sign up separately. It will only take a few moments and will make the list so much more fun and far easier to read. If you invited a friend to participate but she doesn’t know how to post a comment yet, sign up for her then take her through AJ’s tutorial (see previous post) so she can learn to do it on her own from this point forward. Remember that we moderate all comments here so please don’t sign up twice unless you still don’t see yours posted the next day.

*In your comment, give your…
First Name
City, State (or Nation! We have so many Canadian Siestas, you know!)
Age decade (20’s, 30’s, 40’s, etc.)
Single or Married

If this happens to be the first time you’ve ever participated in this community, let us know! You are so welcome here. You are also under no pressure. This is strictly to enrich your sweet life, not to add one more interminable thing to your schedule. In the weeks to come, add a comment when you want. Otherwise, just enjoy perusing the insights and discussions of others as often as you like.

Today is roll call for our book discussion then this coming Thursday, February 11th, I’ll give your first reading assignment and post your first week’s questions. You’ll have all week to post your answers through a comment so don’t panic if you ordered a book and it hasn’t come yet. It won’t be hard to catch up. Again, if you don’t feel like you have anything to add that week, no big deal! The more we limit our answers to the questions that particularly resonate with us, the richer our commentary will be.

You guys are such a blast. I can’t wait to take this journey with you. You were such a huge inspiration that it’s fitting. To those of you who are joining us for the first time in order to participate in a “book club” experience, we are thrilled you are here. Jump in!

I’m crazy about you. Let’s dump a bad friend, Girls.


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