Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.
We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.
I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.
So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.
OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.
2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.
Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.
For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.
No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.
Thank you for coming!
Lord, be magnified.
In His lavish love,
Beth
1) I am a teacher at an elementary school and working with a bunch of women means there are opportunities each and every day to either show insecurity or see someelse's insecurity from little things that don't mean much to huge issues.
2) Chronic self-consciousness…from what I'm wearing, can anyone see my gray, do I look old, etc. to whether anyone knows how awful I feel about myself, to whether I'm really a good teacher, to whether or not my husband is really happy or if he's wishing he hadn't married me. It absorbs countless hours in the day. And then to top it off, I'm self-conscious about the fact that I'm self-conscious. It stinks!!!
oops, forgot to say..
Tanya R.
Sierra Vista, AZ
30s-married
1. Been working on a particular insecurity about friendship with some good friends. I just listened to your talks (on the web while I learn to knit – well purl, actually) on wise friendships, Beth. They were very helpful in directing my efforts and thoughts.
2. "…she is ordinarily more aware of herself then she tends to be of any other person in the room. Whether she feels inferior or superior, she takes a frequent inventory of her place in the space. She may like it or hate it, but she's rarely oblivious to it." Bummer. I want to be more about others than myself, more about bringing other people in than worrying about my own place.
Gig Harbor, WA
30's
married
Dianne
Henryetta, OK
50's
Married
1) Being the host site coordinator for the upcoming simulcast. I am plagued with many insecurities about doing a good job and run into it in others.
2) The "Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism…where it becomes an art form." Not as bad about this as I used to be though. And, "the strong desire to make amends…" WOW!
We are desperate for you God! Thanks Beth.
Siesta Alert! Pray for me, I am in tears right now. I am having a Murphy week ( Murphys Law). My husband is in his third year of chemo, my mother has Alzheimers and has fallen, another family member is blind and I am the only caregiver for all of these people. Stop the world I want to get off.
Kay
I cannot put your book down and stop reading at two or three chapters. It is almost like the Father is taking his little girl and she is resting in His arms of love. She has tears in her eyes and joy in her heart. It is alright to come to God with your insecurities and let Him take care of you just the way you are.
Like a little child
We must be
To trust and obey
To let God lead.
To have the faith
So gentle and sweet
To give all at the Master's Feet.
Thank you so much, God bless each one of these ladies!
1. my last 'episode' was the occasion of my daughter's birthday when i was hosting family for lunch and i began to stress about thier beautiful new house when i'm still renting (10 yrs!)….
2. for me the self-doubt really jumped out. i once has someone praying for me that said they "saw" this huge black dog chasing me, right at my heels and they felt clearly it was self-doubt! i have had some progress on self-consciosness but still feel the sting of rejection…like when i see two women i know from by church that meet regularly to walk together (i live only about 2 blocks away)and have never included me.
Barb
Middlefield,OH
57
I am new to this blog.
I just had my 57th b-day and I am celebrating by reading Beth's Book,
So Long Insecurity!
I had a very bad home life and little by little God has healed my wounds as a woman.
I feel finding Beth's teaching and this blog is his way of leading me to heal further and have a healthier self image.
I am excited to receive my book and study along with this group.
I hope it's ok if I join a bit late. I'm Sharon from a tiny town barely in WI called Walworth. I am in my 40's and married (for the third time).
1. I recently saw 2 of my friends together without me! I know, how dare they. Well, it made me so upset and I felt so rejected because they know I don't work and am bored a lot. By the time I was done, I had myself convinced that God himself didn't want anything to do with me.
2. "the insecure woman lives in constant fear of rejection"…that hit me like a ton of bricks. I live in that most days and I really think it's getting out of hand!
The Journey Continues ~
Kim Safina
40's ~ hanging on until May 14th
Cayucos,California!!
This Bible Believing Blonde read your book in one night!
Saw A LOT of MYSELF in the pages!
Precious Beth, "Hawk", Maggie & Todd ~
I NEED A DOUBLE SHOT OF STARBUCKS TO ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS!!!!
Question #1
1. OUCH!! Last night
My loving husband gave me a compliment and told me that I didn't look my age and that I was beautiful. I started laughing and telling him all my faults!
It is HARD for me to accept compliments!
Question #2
2. PATHETIC self-doubt
I am off to Starbucks right now!!!
I need a double CARMEL MACHIATO WITH EXTRA FOAM!!!
With "Heaven Bound" blessings,
Kim Safina
Debra
Colfax, CA
50's
Married
1. The reality of massive insecurity among our gender hit me hard in what was supposed to be a "safe" setting – the Preview Simulcast of So Long, Insecurity. I live in a small town and am the Women's Ministry Leader in my church. The Preview Simulcast took place in a church not far from me, and there were less than twenty of us in attendance. I found it interesting that most of the group came in pairs. I was alone, and feeling very insecure because I knew know one and had not been able to bring anyone with me. The time before the Preview began seemed very long to me – very much wanting to talk to others, but wanting them to make the first move! Thankfully, as soon as the Preview ended, I was encouraged by Beth's teaching on Hebrews and being "equipped" for my purpose, and turned right around and introduced myself to the pair behind me.
2. One of the definitions of Insecurity that really resonated with me is unrealistic expectations. Especially true in my relationship with my husband of 31 years. Also the self-centeredness of self-conciousness. Praise God! He has already begun working on me to heal those areas, so the book is helping me in a very practical sense.
Ginnie from Florida – 44/single
1) About two months I was at a community event and saw a guy that I used to date walking around with a woman I had never seen (we live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else). As soon as I saw them, I felt jealous and wanted to know who it was and if they were dating. Later in the evening I sent his daughter a text message asking her who her dad was with and were they dating. You would think after not seeing him for 6 months I wouldn't have those feelings but insecurity reared it's ugly head with such force. Who was she, she isn't as attractive as me, I should be the one walking around with him, etc (or the list could go on and on). To sum it up. . . why did it bother me? Because I'm insecure in the area of relationships with men. I want a relationship yet tell everyone I'm fine with being single.
2)The part of the definition or description of insecurity that resonated with me the most was "chronic self-consciousness and lack of confidence in myself and anxiety about relationships. . . a deep uncertainty about whether his/her own feelings and desires are legitimate." I am always feeling the need for affirmation from others and second guessing decisions, conversations, etc. within relationships. I can totally see myself in each statement on pgs. 20-21, minus the one about the husband (prior to my divorce I could apply that one and even now when I am dating someone).
I am picking up my book after work today and Oh how anxious I am. Thank you all for sharing.
I cannot wait to start this journey with all of you!
Stephanie
Boalsburg, PA
40's
Married
Karen
Pinehurst, TX
50's Married
1. When was the last time I came face to face with my massive insecurity? My daughter asked ME to do her wedding portrait! I am an amateur at best. It was a major play on my insecurity, especially because everyone was going to see it at the wedding reception! I wanted to hide and make all kinds of excuses about why I didn't think it was all that great, when everyone was so amazed at how beautiful it turned out.
2.The resonating of the insecurity definition was overwhelming. Just insert my name! It is the profound sense of self-doubt and the constant fear of rejection that resonates so deeply because I feel the power of it as it holds me back from all that God wants to do through me and in me. They are huge walls that confront me daily. Thank you so much Beth for this project…I am looking forward to life on the OTHER SIDE!!!
Amy
Portland, OR
30's
Married
Carol
Albuquerque NM
Single
52yrs
Answer to # 1
The last time I struggled with insecurity was in the church I go to when the guy I had feelings for and really liked and thought that one day we could date and maybe more in the future at a later time found out later on that he was seeing someone else and they got married last yr. I still see him in church wishing I could have been her and wandering what it would be like.
2- When I feel like I do not fit in like when we have family gatherings or church gatherings I have a hard time being around alot of people espically when they are dressed up or pretty or have it all together. Have a husband and kid's and have all they want. So relationships I am more insecure in and not feeling like I belong.
Thanks Mama Beth you have touched my life in so many ways and you rock my world.
Safe travels will be praying for you.
Carol
Amby
Lake Stevens, WA
37yrs
Happily Married!
Talk about insecure in my confidence to share my heart with the Siestas! I read both chapters twice, made plenty of notes & was feeling really confident to share my thoughts until I began reading all the other comments….I am realizing that I have always been insecure in thinking I am not as smart as everyone else! Boy do I need this study!
1)Couldn't think of an example for question 1 however I really related to page 7 and the issues with men in from my past and present.
2)"Self-Doubt" is definately an issue for me.
My book has not arrived yet. I ordered it from CCN, the simulcast people. When it does get here, I will be on my way. Looking forward to reading it will all of you.
Hugs and Prayers to all of you!
I am AMAZED at your stamina! I can't believe you had the energy to crank out a post after your extremely long day yesterday. I think I'll go take a nap for you, K? 🙂
Anyway, the thing that resonated with me was not so much in the definition as it is with this quote: "Whether she feels inferior or superior, she takes a frequent inventory of her place in the space. She may like it or hate it, but she's rarely oblivious to it." UGH… Guilty.
Gayle W.
Birmingham, AL
30's
Married
Kay Midland
I can relate; please hang in there.
T.O.
WOW!! I am insecure about being insecure! I am constantly self-aware…but on the other hand hate pride! HA!!! It is hidden. Come out come out wherever you are-in JESUS' NAME!!! I DO take frequent inventory of my place in space…What a revelation!!! PRAISE GOD FOR TRUTH!!! Now, Lord, I need help! I need healing, Father! Right down to the root….pluck it all out of me Jesus! Don't leave one single hair!…Even dry the soil it once lived in! FULL RESTORATION IN CHRIST'S MIGHTY NAME!!! AMEN!
Pensacola, FL
30's
Married
Beth,
I was one of the girls in the crowd that cheered when you told one of our local newspeople that when women start the book insecure, they could finish it secure. I wanted to hoop and holler. It was exciting to me to see so many women in the bookstore wanting to be free of insecurity.
Indeed, Christ is Life,
Cindy
Beth,
Just sat down in my car to eat lunch and start reading my book. I think I just felt insecure in the first 10 seconds as I sat and watched 3 vehicles pull up to deliver roses. (I work close to the mailroom where deliveries come). Laughing, but yet not. Insecurity? Longing maybe…. that one day I'd get roses? Oh no, another van just pulled up with pink roses this time! Move my car? Or just let God deal with me? 🙂 Hmm.
Susan in OKC, Single, 40's
Robin
Irving, TX
40's
married
1. Our 12-year-old daughter lying to my hubby, her dad, about a shirt that she was wearing that no one had noticed that day at school. She didn't want to hurt his feelings as it was a special shirt between the two of them. It didn't bother her that no one had noticed, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings when the subject came up, so she lied about it. We talked at length with her about her feelings of having to protect her daddy…I wouldn't have caught the significance if I hadn't been reading this book.
2) Honestly, I'm almost afraid/embarrassed to say what my insecurity is, but just to see if it resonates with anyone else, I'll share: My insecurity lies in how easy my life has been, relatively carefree and prosperous, pretty much free of tragedy. Hubby's awesome, kids are great, dogs are spoiled: I feel blessed, but also confused when others say that those who are hit with tragedy are the strong ones or the ones in whom God trusts (like Job)…well, then, what does that say about me? Did God not create a strong me? Does He not trust me with the tough stuff? I know, this is an odd insecurity and I've been rebuked before for simply not feeling blessed (which of course, I do, but in my feeling blessed, then on the flip side, what does it say about those who've experienced tragedy, they're not?). Curious to see if anyone can relate?
Erin
Stephens City,VA
20's
Engaged
1. Just yesterday, my sister and I were looking at old pictures from when we were in middle school and early high school. I was and have always been very insecure about how I look….whether I look thin enough or beautiful enough. Looking at those pictures, just a few hours after I had started reading this book, I felt that horrible sinking, depressing, almost panicky feeling of "I'm not good enough. Look at me. I'm disgusting. How could he (my fiance) ever want that?" He constantly tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am to him. I have no reason to think the way I do!
2. The description of insecurity that hit me like a ton of bricks was "…a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth…" I have always been surrounded by a family who loves me unconditionally, and God has provided a wonderful, amazing, godly man to be my husband in a few short months. I have no clue why I feel I have no worth. The only one telling me I don't have it, is the media….the magazines, the tv shows, etc…I don't even know why it registers when I have the support that I do.
Dear Anonymous,
I'm printing out the For Better or Worse Cartoon and taping it inside my book!! Ha!
To all the others, your stories have made me cry. I love you. You are beautiful. Insecurity…it really is such a huge thing…I found myself shaking my head saying…"It's too big." That is lie. NOTHING is too big for the Creator of the Universe. God is able.
I have often thought in recent years that I could open a store called "Insecurities R Us." Reading the other comments helped me see that God has gotten me out of some toxic friendships and into safe, caring friendships where I don't feel self-conscious. So the part of the definition that resounded with me was "a profound sense of self-doubt–a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world." Going back into the work force in my 40s has awakened a great deal of insecurity in me. Just when I was starting to feel confident, I lost my job, and need to find another one. I admit, I doubt God about myself.
Liz/Sebring, FL/40s/married
I have to laugh at myself, bc I'm feeling so insecure right now over how someone might interpret my insecurity confession a few comments up, that I've been trying to delete it but I don't know how…and what's even funnier, is that it's under "anonymous", but I wrote my name and hometown! Oh, the insecurity of self-doubt is written all over me right now, lol! Girls, this journey is going to be tons o' fun, tell me I'm not alone on this one!
Beth,I have been praying for you to write about this for a long time.I am dead serious when I say God and I had a praise session as I thanked Him for answering my prayers!We desperately need direction!
#1. Like Just Me's post,It was right after I was devastated by a broken friendship that to this day I dont know why she walked away. As soon as I feel like I healed from the first time it happened, it happened again with someone else.I find myself bleeding again. How do you go from closeness with someone to feeling like she looks at you as an enemy? Its this hot and cold thing. You never know how she will treat you from one time to the next. I have practiced Matt. 18 the few times this has happened, but it gets nowhere. I hate leaving it open, unresolved.I have done all I can do to apologize if i did something. Sure everyone around us thinks everything is fine, but i know its not the same.Even though I have many many amazing, enriching friendships, these unresolved situations leave me trapped and has caused me to obsess about why and what is wrong with me.I never saw myself as insecure.I can honestly say I really dont struggle with the comparison games. I feel comfortable with who I am in Christ, although I have plenty I "could" be insecure about. By the grace of God, that is not my main issue. I admire beautiful, talented, Godly women.I also see beauty in the ordinary women. I just love relationships! What bothers me is when I have encountered someone who purposfully tries to hurt you because of her own insecurities. I know like Beth said I sensitive to a fault, but at the same time you know there are Christian women out there who do this to one another. You know she sees you as a threat. No matter what you do, she is out to hurt you. If you bring God into it, thats even more of a threat.So to offer to pray together, just makes it worse. She tries to exclude you and put herself in situations where she will be the center of attention and finds ways a to make you doubt yourself by her "mentoring you" by giving constructive critisim. This can happen in women's ministry leadership, staff wives, praise teams..I have mentors that speak truth to me.I seek truth, so I can grow and be molded for God's glory. But there is a drastic differance when you are hearing from someone who truly loves you because even if what they tell you is painful, you walk away encouraged to do better not completely beat down.
#2 i relate most to..(paraphrase) don't let yourself off the hook because you don't fit every aspect of what you think insecurity looks like. Just because I don't wrestle with the comparison game, I still have deep rooted insecurity about rejection. My question for all you Godly women is how can we move forward in ministry without a unity among the women you minister with? You can't force it..I guess just personally pray a lot?
Marie
30's
Dayton, Ohio
Heather
Pottstown, PA
20's
Engaged
1) I am divorced and recently got engaged. My brother told me that my sister-in-law(who was in my 1st wedding)does not want to put out any more money or be in this wedding. I felt hurt and guilty, wondering what I did wrong. I wanted to apologize to her, but I didn't know what exactly for.
2) The part of "chronic self-consciousness, lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships". I am constantly having thoughts of self-doubt and wondering what others think of me. I am a big "people pleaser" and get anxiety when I believe I have upset someone, whether it's legitimate or not.
1. Yesterday I was visiting a friend. She is pregnant with her second child and I am jealous. The whole visit I kept comparing myself to her and her 'perfect' life. All because we are at different stages in life. How ridiculous is that?
2. The definition on page 17 about our basic worth, our place in the world, and anxiety about our relationships hit home. I have been struggling with finding my place in the world and with others (relationships) for quite a while now and I feel I'm getting nowhere. Another area I'm fighting is in regards to self-consciousness and preoccupation with self (page 22). I attributed it to just plain selfishness. Maybe I'm fighting the wrong battle?
Kerry/30's/Ohio
I got my copy in the mail just before our first blizzard and I am devouring it!
Anyway, as I was doing some straightening yesterday I turned around to find my daughter, Gracie, on the love seat flipping through and “reading” Beth’s book. She kept flipping back to the cover picture and pointing at it, talking with great exuberance, and then thumbing the pages. It was too cute; I had to get a picture!
While I am clicking away with the camera I am praying: “Dear Lord, let this child know you and find her security in you from an early age! I pray she will never “have” to read this book, but nonetheless, Lord, she will still be required to read it by her Mama!”
I just popped by to get the questions for week one and share this picture with ya'all… and I can already think of an answer for myself to question #1!
As I am writing this comment and preparing to share this picture I am thinking to myself: "Do I need to preface that this picture was totally spontaneous and not staged? Will they believe it’s not staged if I don't say so? If I say so, will they think I'm saying so because it was?" Oh, PLEASE!!! I am laughing at myself! Insecurity is insidious… lurking everywhere even in the cornes we don't think of! Thank you, Lord, for the security we can find when we remember to place our identity in Christ!
Beth- Hope you guys like the pic! 🙂
Monica Gill
38
Virginia (Stuck in Snowmagedon)
Happily Married 🙂
1.Just this morning second guessing my feelings of grief. How long will this last? Hiding my self from others.
2. "A deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world". I feel underserving of the good things in life. I find myself apologizing to others even when someones pays me a compliment.
Marilyn, Amarillo TX
40's- Married
Sue
Stafford, VA
50+
Single/Widow
1.) The most recent example of insecurity I encountered was this morning at the gym! I was in a class described as "Women on Weights". There were six of us in the small aerobic room (with HUGE mirrors covering almost every inch of wall space). It's obvious that each of us has our own physical insecurity. One thinks she is too small up top, one assumes hers are too large, one wants a lift in the lower buttocks region, while another wants to keep doing more squats to eliminate her abundance in that same area. We laugh and say how neat it would be if we could have a "Swap and Shop" for women. We could each give and take what we wanted from another to make us achieve the "false positive" we're trying to attain, at least physically that is. I keep trying to remind myself the reason I began working out in the first place–to get healthier on the inside, to gain strength, and to get more energy so I would not be so tired. It's hard to remember that when you're staring at yourself in the mirror for an hour!
2.) The part of the definition I mostly identified with was, "insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness". I am constantly aware of myself–good or bad. Because of it, I often miss out on others' feelings because I'm too consumed with mine. Yuck! Time to rewire my security system! Bring it on, God!
Michele
Monroe, Georgia
35
Married
I spent a whole day in a funk/daze because someone lashed out at me in anger. I've never had anyone say the things this person said to me.
The description that resonated with me is found at the bottom of page 19…"she can be a complicated mix of confidence and self-consciousness." Bingo!
FG
Alabama
60's
married (happily!)
Roll call
Mare
Buckfield, Maine
40's
single
Dear Kay Midland,
My prayers will be with you….we can't stop the world so you can get off – But God can and will lift you up!!
Jane
Libertyville, IL
50, married
I laughed when I read your first request to write a prayer on the inside cover of your book. You see, I downloaded it into the Kindle app on my iPhone! But I got out my underused journal and wrote it there instead.
I don’t think of myself as an insecure woman; God has blessed me with much inner peace at this stage of my life (although my prayer was that He reveal some hidden things about myself to me!) Yet I see insecurity every day in my beautiful, athletic, talented 16-year-old daughter, and remember my own insecurities at most of the stages in my life. I watch her coping by doing some incredibly brave things, just like I did when I was young. You’re right about perfectionism often being the outward sign of insecurity.
After reading chapter 2, I must admit that I’m probably more insecure than I think. The sentence that resonated with me was “We can get away with thinking we’re secure people because, for a time, we have the important things just like we want them.” Ouch. Perhaps I just think I’m secure because the other women I see are more intensely insecure! Nothing like a good comparison, right?
I think you're going to need to write a second book on the basis of all these comments. I won't even subscribe to the comments feed because my email would crash! Thanks for doing this.
I'd have to begin by saying what area of my life is NOT filled with insecurity. I was adopted and even though my adoptive mother was my best friend and I never would have traded her for anything, I always felt as though I was not worthy, if my own mother didn't want me, who would? And that has pretty much resonated through my life. My first husband was abusive, physically in the beginning and then once he had me afraid of him, he stopped that nonsense just knowing the threat was there got him excited. For 12 years I listened daily to him put me down, how I was too fat, too much of a prude, I should have been making more money, and the list goes on. I finally got the strength to get out of that situation, only to end up dating seriously the same kind of man. This one was going to marry me once I became a size 2. Praise God he met someone else to torture and set me free! I stayed in both relationships because I honestly felt as though I wasn't worth any better. I was deep in a life of sin and just kept spiraling downward at that point because I just didn't feel like I was worth any better.
Praise God for bringing a good Christian man into my life – we've been married for a little over 2 years and very active in our church. And loving Jesus! But I still hear those voices sometimes telling me you better not gain any more weight or they'll be making fun of you. (I have battled forever and my closet is a size 4(never did make it to the 2) and a size 16. And whenever I facilitiate a study group, I almost feel as though I'm pulling a fast one over on everyone because I feel so unworthy that the Lord would want ME to share his message with other women. ME? I have a hard time getting it! I know he loves me and I know he doesn't make any junk, but Satan sure has a field day with me whenever he gets the chance.
I enjoyed the challenge of writing a journal-type entry on the inside cover of the book. I am almost finished with Beth's Breaking Free study and have asked God to help me break down the strongholds in my life and insecurity is a huge one! Yup! Going after God for more. May Jesus receive the glory!
Rachel
Port Orchard, WA
30's
Married
"So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it."
As I read these words I thought to myself…WOW, the gates of hell must be trembling right now. What would this world look like if we as women found our security in Christ!
I haven't even picked up the book and I know it's going to be incredible! I'm believing that He's going to do a MIGHTY work in me. Praying it's on my doorstep when I get home. ;o)
Lawan
Lawton, OK
50s
Married
1)Went on vacation with my husband and joined a tour group. Worried about whether my husband thought the other (skinnier & younger) women were more desireable than me. He never gives me any reason to think that, I just do.
2) The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable. I must say I am getting better at NOT doing this but it still happens sometimes.
I have just accepted my insecurity. It is a part of who I am. I don't think I will ever NOT feel insecure. I was told I was a horrible wife, a horrible mother, a horrible cook, a horrible housekeeper. How can I not be insecure. Nothing about me is correct – according to other people.
Roll Call:
Kim N.
Illinois
30's & Married
Dearest Jesus, I'm offering myself to You to be changed, challenged, chastized and Christian-joined by faith in the journey we're (You & me & us) are embarking today. I want to know Your heart about me, through me and for others to live in the fullness of the Life You died to give. Help me listen with the Spirit-empowered will to obey. Bless, encourage and strengthen us all (especially Beth) in our inner man with Your Holy Spirit.
1. Day before yesterday when I interviewed for a secretarial position, even with a Christian owner, she was apparently uncomfortable with my references to Scriptural truths in the course of the discussion. I found myself later second guessing if I was too honest and too vulnerable.
2. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate. I am always second-guessing “what if I had responded differently or not at all? Am I truly being faithful to what and who God has called me to be?”
Denise
Albuquerque, NM
50's
Married
Just a note of humor, I was typing in my Google ID to post on this blog, and without a thought I typed insecure@, I thought,girl, you do have a problem….and I had a good to myself chuckle.
There is a line in chapter two that struck a chord in my heart. I have a beautiful, amazing, incredibly smart sister in law who has a doctorate in education, recently got promoted to chairman of her department at the college where she teaches, plays the drums and leads worship in our church, is raising two uh-mazing little girls, teaches bible study to college students on Friday nights and to adults on Sunday nights, keeps a beautiful home, is a loving wife and the MOST incredible sister-in-law to me… and yet she doubts herself. When I saw the line in chapter two that says, "insecurity's best cover is perfectionism". She works so hard to make sure there are no cracks in the armour. No matter how successful she has been as an adult, she still hears the echoes of unkind words planted into her heart as a child. I always laughingly tell her to "aspire to greater mediocrity". The truth is that we can. never. be. good. enough. the blessing is that we don't have to be. Isn't that where real security lies? In knowing that we don't have to be perfect to be loved?
Just my opinion… as the underachieving second born black sheep of the family *wink* who is highly loved and treasured by her heavenly father!
Heather
Cleveland, GA
41
twice divorced
Jennine
Chandler, Oklahoma
50's
Married
1st time to blog
I started reading the book on tuesday the 2nd. I watched session 4 of the patriarchs Bible study and you touched on the subject of insecurities. If I am correct then that study has a copyright date of 2005- if that is true then this message has been on your heart for 5 years. It is amazing and pure to your heart that your messages are seen in many studies (in the pit, insecurities are just a couple) Thank you for allowing God to use you to reach out to us to help us grow stronger in the Lord. God Bless you and your family.
My 14 yr old will be joining me on the 24th!