Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.
We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.
I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.
So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.
OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.
2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.
Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.
For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.
No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.
Thank you for coming!
Lord, be magnified.
In His lavish love,
Beth
Hi Beth, I do pray you were able to get some rest and are feeling rejuvenated today.
Chapter 1: My major struggle with insecurity came after the passing of my husband 3 years ago. After the first year, I learned a HUGE and VALUABLE lesson from his passing and that is you cannot rely on another person to make you feel secure. At the time, every single bit of security I had in me died with him because I felt he was my security. I came to the revelation some time afterwards that I cannot find security in other people (and do not feel it is fair for me to do so – what pressure on them!) or in material things of this world but only in my Heavenly Father's love for me. I am still working on some security issues and that is one reason I felt like this book from you is a gift to help me to continue to make huge progress in eliminating my insecurities and to be able to step forward after reading this book as a secure person completely walking in faith.
Chapter 2: The part of the definition that resonates with me is that fact that "the insecure woman lives in constant fear of rejection… a deep uncertainty about whether her feelings are legitimate." I have always dealt with a need for acceptance and approval from others, especially my dad, since I was a very young girl and this is the area I am still struggling with at this time in my life as I find myself placing more emphasis on the importance of the relationships in my life.
Teressa
Winfield, Alabama
43 and proud!
Single (widow)
Paula
Chocowinity, NC
40's
Married
1st time blogger
1. Just yesterday, I was walking into church for my weekly MOMS Bible Study. A rush of anxiety flooded over me. What if there's not a seat beside someone with whom I am comfortable? What if I am asked to answer a question out loud that I am not prepared to answer? What if my little one acts up for the nursery workers? What if, what if, what if… When I should have been praising God and offering up a sacrifice of thanksgiving for having been provided a church that teaches His word, I was self-absorbed with my own insecurities.
2. I obviously identify myself as someone with a chronic feeling of anxiety for no apparent reason. I thought that I hid my insecurity pretty well, but I am ready to get rid of it altogether-not just hide it!
Stacey
Eads, TN
early 30's
married
1. I've just noticed that in all of my conversations with a friend of mine we invariably wind up talking about two things. First, our singleness. Second, how our appearance (weight etc.) influences our singleness. No matter how the conversation starts or what high-minded topic we intend to discuss it always comes back to our insecurities.
2. "Chronic self-consciousness" definitely struck a cord with me. I'm the girl constantly tugging at her jeans or shirt to make sure everything is covered and hidden properly.
Regan
Conroe, TX
23 and single
I am SO glad we are doing this blog book study together. The biggest thing insecurity does in my life is "Isolation." I'm just sure I must be the ONLY one who struggles with who I am. After reading a few of these posts, I definitely realize I'm not. Thank you Siestas for sharing honestly. It means a lot.
1) I'm face to face with insecurity every day: in fact i'm sure it comes from a few generations of women in my family; now: my overweight body; and being single at 45-seeing couples together, families; I wonder why I don't have this? Does God think I'm just not capable?? Have I just made too many mistakes? This is how I've thought for years. Pretty desperate uh!
2)The part of the definition that hit me by surprise: "Insecurities best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form." That's my mom's and my life completely. My mom always telling me to "fake it," because eventually it would become real. WRONG!!! No, it never does. I've been labeled OCD, perfectionistic, bottom line it's INSECURITY. Actually this was quite hopeful. It means I can heal and become whole.
I also have been working on Breaking Free, on the last lesson. I don't want to say all the right things; I want to truly be FREE! I think God is really wanting me to see it can be REAL. Praise His Name,
Amanda, Olive Branch, MS; 45, single
Hi Beth, Thank you so much for doing this. I am having a little down time right now in my walk with God. I want to get back on track I can't wait to get started and I know God has great things in store for me. Thanks for your faithfulness to Him and all of us!! I know I don't know you but it feels like I do!! With So much love and thanks for all you do!! God bless you and your wonderful family. This is going to Fun.
1.Recent example? How about this….I am too insecure to even write my journal entry in the front cover of my book! I had to go find another notebook, and the reason is because I'm to afraid someone will see it and think me a PATHETIC LOSER.
2. Thus, the definition resonated with me on several levels. "anxiety about relationships",and are my feelings LEGITIMATE?…Goodness, I have a WONDERFUL family who would never judge me for whatever I wrote in my book (where IS this stuff coming from? I didn't even realize…)
Oh, Beth. I need help. Ugh.
Becky
Owasso OK
40's
HAPPILY MARRIED
Beth, I am jeolous that you got to spend the time with Maggie from Tyndale. Love her!
Oh, these comments make me want to cry! Ladies, we all need this, if for nothing else, let's face the hard stuff so we can keep from passing it on to our girls. Love that you didicated it to Annabeth.
1) As a mother of a teenage daughter-who has the house where the kids hang out-my old insecurities are hit all the time. The girls always ask me to braid their hair, and when they have their back to me they start talking. (Is this how a hairdresser hears everything?!) These young women tell me about how their moms make them color their hair because it is dull or beg me to not tell their moms that they had a coke or a cookie because they are getting fat. I hold back the tears, because they are beautiful girls! They aren't fat, they are just starting to get their curves and moving from a 0 to a 2! And they don't have dull hair, it is just getting darker and mom is afraid that if their little girl isn't a blondie, then the cat is out of the bag on mom's real color. They are killing these poor girls' confidence. I know this, because it is how mine died. I was 25 when my new husband finally got through to me that he loves my dark hair. He perfers dark hair. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around that after all those years of being made to feel inferior for it. The revelation was great until my hair started turning gray! Back to square one!
When I started letting the gray show, I over night felt like an old woman. Then, one day at church I was watching the screen during the service, when suddenly my family was on the screen. I sat there trying to figure out who was sitting by my husband. When I leaned forward to see who it was and the darkheaded woman on the screen moved too, I started cracking up. IT WAS ME! I didn't recognize myself sitting next to my own husband, in my own clothes, in my own family pew, because I was so insecure about my hair that I had convinced myself that I had gone totally white-headed when in truth I just had a little in the front!
2) I was hit with the thought of the prominent false positive. I am like the other seista, who said hers changes from day to day. Me too! Today mine is money, but tomorrow I may be back to my hair!
God help us all! Please bless this book and help it to change our lives! We need it to, because I don't want to have to move to the convent to leave it all behind. I would really miss my man! (I saw that Oprah, too! Has anyone sent her this book?)
Found you through Southern Hospitality. UPS man dropped the book off about 20 minutes ago! Great timing, can't wait to read along.
1. Each Monday night I lead a small group of women in Bible study. Every Monday night I must beg God to take away the negative words swimming in my head.
2. "Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt — a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in this world."
Amen and Amen to Anonymous' prayer of 12:45AM
Karlys
La Place, LA
50's
Married
To Susan in OKC – Stop off at the store on your way home and buy yourself some roses !! Doesn't matter how many. Fix them up nice and put them in a place you can see them often. And everytime you look at them praise God for the beauty He put in YOU and in them. You are worth it, girl !!!! You can validate yourself.
Laurie
Peoria (Phoenix), AZ
41 and married
First may I say that I was scared to death to even crack open the book! I think I'm so afraid of seeing myself in the words that Beth wrote! I'm also afraid that God won't answer my prayer to allow this book to impact my life in a HUGE way. Not in a little way – I want it to be HUGE:)!
1) I'm not going to pinpoint a certain situation as my insecurities seem to rear their ugly heads quite frequently. I can say that my insecurities seem to flare more outside of my home (social situations – especially large groups). That's certainly not to say that I don't beat myself up about needing to be a better mother, wife, housekeeper, etc! It seems in ALL areas of my life I don't feel like I "measure up" like I think I should.
2) There are actually 3 parts of the definition that really stand our for me. "a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world", "chronic self-consciousness" and "deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate". I'm trying desperately to find my place since my daughter started college this past fall. I continually worry about what other people are (or must be) thinking. And finally, at times I think about those wreckless thoughts that fly through my mind and think to myself, "I'm not even really sure what I think anymore" OR "I'm not sure my thoughts are even remotely rational".
amen
Dear Becky from Owasso, OK –
I'm hoping it will make you feel better to know that I couldn't bring myself to write my journal note in the front of my book either:)! I did write it but on a piece of paper that I can put somewhere under lock and key!
Late roll call
Rhonda
Winston-Salem, NC
40's
happily married
Mary in MN 45 years old & single says: My insecurity rears it's ugly head every time I deal with my family. My parent's adopted me as a baby and they are no longer with us. My brother's and sisters who were not adopted make it clear every chance they get that I am not part of the family. It can make a girl feel so worthless..
Ok..I already posted something but I had to share something FUNNY with all of you, since we are all struggling so much…Insecurity= Now I just turned 40 on Jan 16th and my hubby suprised me by taking me overnight somewhere special.So…as soon as we are in the room with all the flowers..I begin to try and "show" him how much it meant to me.It was supposed to be like in the movies…where you fall gracefully onto the bed and pull him toward you. Yeah right…I tripped stepping backwards and fell onto the bedpost and fractured my ribs! There was a mirror right there by me and I am now laying on the ground in agony, unable to breahte, and dont know if I am crying from the pain..or from what I look like at 40yrs old now! Can you imagine? Thank God my hubby was kind to me that night and got me to the ER…then I wondered..what could they be thinking of me? Insecurity at its best! Whats funny is.. I work out in order to feel better about myself…now I CANT! So its as if God said.."You cant work out for 2 months at least and here is Beth's book….sit down and READ it!" God bless all of you…and my prayers are with you Kay.
1. feeling as if I should know something that I don't. Somehow I feel pressure to be the best at things. My perfectionist tendency is that when I feel inferior, I become extremely insecure, fearful and angry. It stems from unrealistic expectations of myself. This paralyzes me in ministry.
2. that I am an accomplice in my own misery. I've recognized self-sabotage in my life but I thought it was self-hatred, not insecurity. I wonder if self hatred and insecurity are BFFs.
April, 28, Single, CT
A song for all the sanguine's out there who need a jam to make this message deeper would be:
Something Beautiful by Needtobreathe – it spoke to me today.
I last felt insecure this morning. I would not say insecurity controls my life, but it definitely affects every part of it. It affects me most via self-doubt. There are times I wonder why in the world God takes time to use me at all? I just feel so unworthy of all He stands to give us. Thankfully, I know His truths. I am able to make a Scriptural smoothie that helps me make it through the day. I am able to experience His blessings. I am able on most days to put on the full armor and walk right out the door confident to do the work God has set before me. Yet, on days like today, there is that one dim part of my armor that doesn’t shine to the glory of God. Do I feel the world can see it? No – not always. My insecurities lie beneath my shiny armor. And there are days where they wreak havoc. Today, for instance, I felt incapable of doing the work God has before me. It’s awful really. I know I am equipped and given all that I need to do the tasks He has set before me. Yet, the doubt sometimes lingers.
As a result, the part of the definition I most relate to is Beth’s “self-sabotage.” Though I see clearly that I also struggle with unrealistic expectations in relationships, sabotage wins here. God has revealed to me today that I am my own worst enemy. Mixed that on occasion with a little spiritual warfare and my ship could be easily sunk.
I am ready to change that. How about you?
Hi, My name is Tammy B. I am from Va. I'm in my 40's and married. I just wanted to thank you Beth for addressing this subject. Though I am blessed beyond measure, I do deal with some insecurities that I know keep me in chains. I know God is able to free me and am excited to be involved with this experience.
Hello my new "Siesta's" in the Lord! Well, I am still waiting to receive my book in the mail. I am really excited about all of this! Can't wait too crack the cover and get started! I just wanted to wish Julie jgirlsjourney a very Happy Birthday! We share the same day! Well, Beth, I am also doing your Jesus The One And Only Study with my local church. This is the first study I have done of yours. I must say that you are very insightful and a "hoot"! I really loved the "letter" from your grandmother. LOL! :0)! Thanks so much for your commitment and love for all of the women in our world. God bless you always,
Mischelle
Greater Nashville, TN (area)
46 today
Divorced
Susan
San Antonio
50's
Can't wait to get started–a group of good friends are doing this with all of you.
God Bless all of us! To Him be the Glory!
Anna
Texas
30-ish & married.
1. I experienced my most recent blow-me-over kinda insecurity several weeks ago. I was not included in something some of the girls from my church were doing and the feeling of rejection stung all the way through. I'm still tyring to get over it.
2. Here's what I highlighted from the definition of insecurity that spoke directly to me "…self doubt- a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and place in the world….lack of confidence…anxiety about our relationships." Yikes! Did you see my picture beside that definition when you looked it up, Mrs. Beth?!
so Long insecurity going back to my childhood when girls were considered second class citizens. My father who is still alive still believes that females cannot do anything right.
50's married live in PA
Dear Al, I just read your post and I wanted to tell you do not accept those LIES! The only Truth that we can ever accept is from Jesus and what He has to say to us about ourselves. I know it is hard not to believe what you are being told on a daily basis by those who say they "love" you, but remember that is not love and that those who are saying those horrible things to us are in all actuality insecure themselves and even more so. At least we see our insecurities and are doing something about them. Lord Jesus, I ask that You reveal to Al how You see her and how valuable she is. I ask that You give her a deaf ear, soul, and spirit to those words which are contrary to how You see her. Wrap Your loving arms around her and always let her feel Your sweet prescence. In Your Name, Amen
Mischelle
Greater Nashville, TN (area)
46
Divorced
1. Without a doubt the Siesta SMT Celebration.While others were wanting to meet you and have their picture taken with you. I had my own plan, to locate the nearest exits at the end of the meetings. I knew that if we met you would have thought, "that is a women that needs help". In spite of all that…mighty glad that I was apart of it!
2.The part of insecurity that resonated most with me is self-doubt and constant fear of rejection. Since I was a child, I dreamed of being married and having children. For some reason, God has not allowed this to happen in my life.It rips a hole in me that I just can't explain. I know that it has been a great obstacle in my walk with the Lord.Not only do I feel self-doubt that I'm not worthy of anyones love, but I feel that God has somehow rejected me as well. Society is constantly there to remind me that being married and having children is a special gift from God. I always thought,"where does that leave me?"
Father God,
Thank you for this opportunity I have been given to look at my insecurity issues and to come away from this book changed. Thank you for using Beth and her life in so many lives of women here. I pray that you would give me understanding and wisdom about all the ways the enemy wants to sabotage my life and that I would daily put on my royal robe and from my heart say to you, "I love you too Lord"
I pray for that soul-deep security and the faith to believe I can have it. Help me look always to you for your opinion and assurance of me in every situation. Lord to find myself acceptable, favored, chosen, beautiful and set apart for you is the cry of my heart. Teach me to live as a beloved child of the Most High GOD, and help me to teach that to others. I love you with all my heart, mind, soul, body and strength. In Jesus Precious Name, AMEN.
1. Since we've had a cold winter I thought it was time to get some boots. It took way too long to decide on a pair and then when I got ready to wear them I fretted they didn't look just right, maybe I made the wrong choice and maybe I shouldn't wear them. That is sick isn't it!
2. So it's obvious from #1 that I identify most with "…a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate."
Lawrenceville GA
50's
Married
1) Actually it was today. I have a disabled child and had an awesome miracle of healing happen on his heart. Since it has been about two years since his last follow-up appt. it could have happened anytime since then to this week. I held back from calling another friend who has a disabled child for fear of making her feel insecure or bad about her son not being healed. I think I transferred maybe how I might have felt if the tables were turned and put them on her. OMGosh!! In some sick way I think that is insecurity at its worst!! I talked to her today about it and she was so joyful for us and for my son. How could I ever think she would feel otherwise!!
2)Okay suffice it to say that I am one insecure chick because the whole definition just nailed me to the wall!!! I'm not just A, B, C, or D, I am, all of the above!!!
Praise God that with God's help I have discovered what I believe to be my biggest root insecurity. That is for another post! Praise God for his direction and mercy!!
April S.
Port Orchard
I recently had an issue with some being excluded from a group of friends… really good friends. Of course my first reaction was "what is wrong with me that they would do this"(hormones didn't help either:) Thankfully I had a conversation with one of those friends that was very enlightening and encouraging. The next day she gave me and another friend this book and we are all three reading it and working through it together.
Q1. At a baby shower this weekend. Comparing and feeling insecure about the place they are in their life vs. where the other women are at. Married vs. not, has kids vs. not yet. etc. Also comparing/competition with what their children are doing or are not doing compared to the children of the same age group.
Q2. I resonate with the unrealistic expectations aspect. The light just turned on for me that I was spoiled for a season in my life, which caused me to believe I had worked on my insecurity about worrying about what other people think of me or if they like me or not. I grew up in Michigan, moved down South (GA and FL) where I found Christ and grew in my relationship with Him. God moved me back to MI, where he led me to my wonderful husband and daughter. Since I’ve been home I’ve struggled with being insecure around new women I have met that are my same age. I’ve been anxious which has decreased my ability to be used by God. I realized that when I was down South I had so many women give me verbal affirmation and I built so many great relationships. However, now that I’m back in MI women do not seem to give much verbal affirmation and seem to be more competitive. I always find myself very bothered by not knowing where I stand with them! However, I feel very secure around women who are older than me. Again, I’ve noticed it is because they do give verbal affirmation.
Michelle
30’s
Married with a one year old
Never participated on a blog before
#1. most recently , today actually i had to talk with another bible study group about an upcoming event and sell tickets. When i got up to speak i felt like there was no response, like i was bothering them and taking up too much of their time. This event in no way has anything to do with me and yet i felt very much insecure, that it was against me personally. As i walked out of the room and was a little flustered i started to chuckle to myself thinking good thing i'm reading this book on Insecurity 🙂 and had to get past the response and realize that it wasn't against me personally.
#2 . "Deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate"… that hit close to home for me !
Kelly, Married, 50's, Tacoma, WA
l. the last time I felt insecurity was this morning…when walking at an indoor mall next to work before work for exercise with some co-workers..they were walking way faster than I could keep up with (I've recently been diagnosed with advanced arthritis in my hips)..I told them just to go ahead as I couldn't walk as fast as they could..they did…and I felt rejected because I couldn't keep up…
2. I think for me the self-doubt and rejection are huge..for example,at church in a room full of women at a women's event, I often-times feel lonely that no one really wants to be a close friend & sit with me. Yet I know when I have tried to reach out to someone else, more often than not it goes well. The things I play in my head though can be crippling!
Chapt 2. The definition of insecurity I can most relate to is "anxiety about relationships, fear of rejection, feelings of uncertainty about whether my feelings and desires are legitimate. Of course the later can change day to day depending on the state of mind I am in and changes in hormones. This book is giving me a better understanding and so encouraging to know many (most) other woman struggle with the same.
Traci
40's
Married
1. The last time I was smacked with insecurity? When coworkers were laughing and stopped when I walked up. I jumped to a conclusion that they were laughing about me. Yikes.
2. Many parts resonated deep in my soul. One that truly did was living in fear of rejection. I can see where insecurity that has been growing since I was in my early teens has caused me to put up walls to keep from being hurt again.
Thanks Beth for allowing us to do this together. Knowing that I am going on this journey with so many seeking, wonderful women makes it easier for me to not be scared to confront what needs to be confronted. Bless you and your family!
Melissa in Kentucky
Ok I have been going to counseling now at my home church for a month or so to work and heal a lot of things from my past. so far this is what i have learned about myself i have 2 core fears and problems and 1 of them is insecurity. So I left my session with my counselor yesterday and went to the book store to ease my thoughts before going home. I was looking around and there your book was. Wow like it was calling my name. My insecurities stem for having an abusive parent and I am trying to let that all go. So I have started reading your book and just would like to thank you in advance for writing this to help all women!!!!
1. I see the struggle with insecurity anywhere and everywhere: at church, the grocery store, on tv, in restaurants. Recently, I overheard three high school girls lamenting over their weight. All three looked trim and slim to me. One girl said with a sigh, “If I could just weigh 120, I would be happy.” It really made me sad (maybe because I haven’t weighed 120 since the 4th grade, haha!), but I see myself in those girls. And it’s not just about weight/physical appearances. I am currently in grad school, and I often compare myself to my classmates . . . and come up lacking. If I hear that some friends got together and I wasn’t invited, I immediately wonder if they like me anymore and try to figure out why they didn’t invite me. In my family, both of my siblings (one older, and one younger) got married within the past 18 months. At Thanksgiving this year, the married couples got the three bedrooms at my parents’ house. Guess where I – the lone single – got to sleep? The heater-less storage closet at the other end of the house! I truly am ok with my singleness most of the time, but I came home from Thanksgiving and cried for a day. I felt overlooked, left out, and lonely, and wondered if I needed to get married just to feel included in my family again. I laugh about it now and think the fact that I had to sleep in the storage closet (which my mom really did try to make somewhat sleepable) is hilarious, but at the time, it hurt me deeply and made me feel like something was very much wrong with me . . . and that my own family thought so, too.
2. The part of the definition that struck me most: “Insecurity is associated with a chronic self-consciousness . . .” Oooooh, does that truth hurt! But more often than not, I make it all about me: if people are looking at me, if they’re not looking at me, what they think about me, if they like me, if they’re annoyed by me, etc., etc., etc.
Clearly, I need to wrestle with insecurity, and I'm so glad to be doing it with all you thousands of Siesta Sisters and our overcoming Lord!
Michelle in TN
30s and single
Ok I have been going to counseling now at my home church for a month or so to work and heal a lot of things from my past. so far this is what i have learned about myself i have 2 core fears and problems and 1 of them is insecurity. So I left my session with my counselor yesterday and went to the book store to ease my thoughts before going home. I was looking around and there your book was. Wow like it was calling my name. My insecurities stem for having an abusive parent and I am trying to let that all go. So I have started reading your book and just would like to thank you in advance for writing this to help all women!!!!
1. As the teacher of middle school students, I see it in my female students, even at this early age. Just today I was in the restroom while several of them hovered around the mirrow, each trying to fix some flaw (that I did not even see) so worried that someone had seen the smudge, streak ….you name it. I realized they were not all the different from me. I too worry what people think about the way I look, what I am wearing, how I am doing my job, if I'm doing my best for my sons or husband. I am insecure to the core.
2. self-doubt; deep feeling of uncertainty about my basic worth; chronic self-consciousness; constant fear of rejection. As you can see from my list, almost the entire definition describes me.
So thankful for this book and the opportunity to share and grow with other sisters in Christ.
Yvonne
Louisville, KY
40's
Married
Pam
Haslet, TX
50's
Married
I'm so excited to embark on this adventure in anticipation of what is going to do on April 24th.
Beth I met you this morning in the Franklin LifeWay, and I just need you to know how much meeting you meant to me. You have blessed my life so much and brought the Spirit of the Lord to me in a way I wouldn't have thought an earthly person could have. Of course, I was just a bumbling fool when I saw you and said none of this, but you were completely gracious and even posed for a photo.
Thank you for getting 'it', even when some of us can't even form the words.
Love you Beth!
Vicki in Tennessee
1.)When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
Today I saw a preview of an episode of the Tyra Banks Show. It featured a few women who have battled a life-long fight with insecurity due to their looks, whether it was her smile, her weight, or her hair. These women felt very uncomfortable with their appearance, and you could sense the pain and unease within themselves. The sad part is I can't say that I haven't been in their shoes. I know exactly what it is like to feel uncomfortable in my own skin because of insecurities due to my physical appearance. I have struggled with being overweight my whole life and while I am committed to leading a healthier lifestyle, it is something that has always caused insecurity within me.
2.)This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
The words constant fear of rejection and deep sense of whether her feelings are legitimate speak to me. These are two things that have held me back from embracing opportunities God has blessed me with. Now I'll never know what could have been, because I was too scared. Also when the definition describes insecure people as being the cause of their own misery alarms me, because I know that it is true-yet I keep doing this to myself.
Beckie; Peoria, IL; married; 40's
1) When I faced the reality this week that I have a person in my life that I care about, but I could disappear from her life and she would never even notice I was gone. It made me face my insecurity w/the relationship and cause me to wonder why at this point in my life I would even desire it. It highlighted my struggle with my self-worth to me.
2) So in light of that incident the definition that resonated throughout my entire being was"…a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world…constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate."
Candace
33yrs
East TN
1. The most memorable insecurity moment for me in recent weeks has been our Tuesday morning ladies Bible study. There. I said it outloud. Each week when I walk in I think silly little thoughts like, "no one likes me." or "no one wants me here." or "what am I thinking trying to be a LEADER at something like this?!?!" sheesh.
2. This is where my highlighter went a little crazy. Here are the characteristics that resonated most with me:
*sense of self-doubt
*a deep feeling of uncertainty
*chronic self-consciousness
*lack of confidence
*anxiety about relationships (ding, ding, this one is MAJOR)
*harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships
*frequently and easily hurt
I wrote more on my blog about these first 2 chapters and how perfectly timed it is with our study of Breaking Free right now.
http://candacemercyisnew.blogspot.com/2010/02/so-long-insecurity-week-one.html
THANK YOU Beth and everyone else…what a perfectly timed gift from God.
Thank you for writing this book siesta mama and sharing your life with us!
May our Lord and Savior richly bless you as you fulfill His plan to richly serve!
Much love!
1) That would be today at my annual "well woman" exam. No need to explain any further. 🙂
2) chronic self-consciousness and unrealistic expectations about love and relationships
I really with our library would get it soon. So pathetic I can't afford it a book right now.
1) I can't think of one particular moment of insecurity because I have them at ever moment when I see other women. I am constantly comparing myself to them in every aspect of my life: wife, mom, friend, coworker, etc.
2)The part that resonates with me is: the insecure person harbors unrealistic expectations…and are often unconscious.I am looking forward to closing this book a secure woman. So I may be a role model for my daughter!! Thanks Beth for following God's Word.
Cameren
Gainesville, Ga
20's
Happily married
50's, single, Palm Harbor, Florida
1. So many incidents…which one to pick. Being single I love when one of my grown sons comes to town and can help me with my house. One son came and did a lot but left some to the other brother. That one said he would help, but did not. As it was time for them to leave, I didn't say anything for fear he wouldn't want to come home again.
2. Chronic self consciousness, chronic lack of confidence, fear of rejection are all me in a nutshell. I do wonder if it is partially because I was an only child and everything centered on me. And my mother always did everything for me.
Bridget
Moore – OK
40's
When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity?
I can re-phrase that question with When was the last time you didn't come face-to-face with insecurity?
I struggle daily – the most recent will be tomorrow – when in my new job position, I have to assist in giving a training class – me – someone who's face turns as red as a rose anytime she has to speak in front of a group of people. The thing is – I don't even know why.
I envision myself doing the task with great eloquence and grace. But inside I tell myself I am not capable.
what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
A profound sense of self-doubt – because I don't know that I've believed I can accomplish a God-given task – I mean, I've made some pretty bad choices in life – how can I possibly be used by God?
That's what I USED to think – but I am doing the ATR study at the same time I am reading this book – and I NOW believe I am annointed – still struggle with the self doubt a little bit.
A deep feeling of uncertainty about our place in the world.
OHHH did/does this touch a nerve.
I so struggle with the way women were/are treated from bible times to today. When our group did the Esther study and I read how those women were 'hand picked' for their beauty and then made to parade before the King showing them their best and if they didn't please him, they became concubines – and we're supposed to feel loved, respected, beautiful, special??? How is that possible? And one more thing…how many times do we read or see where the woman had more than one husband??? It seems to me women have been made to feel less than for quite some time now.