Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Sarah 
1) False Positive: Financial Security
2)Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction & relationship. (Let the security we have in Christ permeate every cell in our mind and body!)
3)Sarai and Hagar: insecure relationship with an overbearing mother-in-law
40's
Married
Ok, this was really hard, I so hope it gets easier….
1. My prominent false positive "fitting into the image both physically (because I am overweight) and metally that would make my earthly father love me or approve of me.(not possible because his lifestyle is far from christian, although he claims salvation)"
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and comletely secure part of us (OH MY GOSH, DOES THIS EXIST? CAN I FIND IT!!)) increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I most identify with Moses because he "seemed" ok to others, and he believed God, but yet had no trust in himself, causing him to question God.
Thanks for doing this study, I so need this. I am so ready for this "insecutiy monster" to be gone from my inner being!
Terri Lynn
North Carolina
49 ish
Married 32 years
Mary
Texas
40's
married
My most prominent false positive would have to be looking young and being in great physical shape. When I was younger I looked much younger than my age. At that time it wasn't always something that made me happy. But now that I look my age it is hard to deal with. It makes me feel like I look years older than I am.
Challenge- "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reation, and relationship.
I identify with Sarai and Rachel both. My husband was married before and I have a lot of insecurities involved with that. Even though I know he loves me I often feel threatened and jealous of his past relationship. Which is crazy we have been married over 20 years.
Amy
Tulsa, OK
20's
Married
1. My prominent false positive is weight. This chapter made me think SO much. I was made fun of for being overweight as a child, so now no matter what weight I am, I feel overweight (even though I am not). I realized that it leads to so many other things. It makes me feel like I am not beautiful, like I need the right clothes, make-up, hair, etc, it makes me jealous of other women who are thin, it makes me self-conscious when I meet new people, and I could go on. It made me sick when I thought of all the effects that one false positive had on my life. I thought about a verse that has meant a lot to me lately. I decided it is my "theme" verse for this book and I am going to say it every time I feel insecure (thanks Beth for the idea – from Breaking Free – it is in my spiral). It is "Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive." Proverbs 23:3. I am tired of believing the devils lies about myself and wanting the things this world has to offer (whatever that might look like for you or me). I don't want to crave them anymore. I am ready for that challenge!
**Not sure if this posted correctly – I was dumped somewhere strange…? If you got my first one, please ignore this. thanks****
My "PFP" if I had to pick just one would be a husband that is the spiritual leader of my family.
My challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me.
I can relate to a combination of Paul and Moses. My fiercest enemy is myself, especially when I cooperate with the lies of satan that paralyze me in my insecurities.
Karen
married
30's
Alabama
1. My false positive: I wrote down having a clean organized house, but I read through the comments listed here because I wanted to make sure "I had the right answer to question 2" LOL! My other false positive would be look like I have it together – brains, beauty, etc. I wanted the "right" answer. Good grief.
2. With that said my answer to the challenge stated at the end of Ch 3 is – Allow GOd's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3. Chap.4 the statement that resonated with me is on pg. 48 …much of what we fear is fueled by our imaginations…most of what we fear NEVER EVEN HAPPENS. What great reminder of "don't go there" and to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
Katie
Leonardtown, MD
40's
1. My false positive definitely changes as new challenges arise in my life. Right now, it deals with my husband. Don't get me wrong — I love him and wouldn't trade him in for anything! 🙂 But, he doesn't show his feelings which oftentimes leaves me guessing — making me insecure about our relationship.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have. (I'm doing Breaking Free right now, too, so I could restate this in about 10 different ways!)
3. Leah and Rachel. Not because of the situation, but because of their relationship: sisters. A lot of my insecurities stem from sibling rivalries.
Sarah
Minnesota
30s
Married
Linda
Webster, NY
40's
Married
If I could just manage to "do it all" — be available for my family, keep up with the household chores, have time to volunteer, have a successful career doing something I love, having more time to worship, having more patience……….
My challange — "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.
Saul is the biblical figure that resonated with me most because I can relate to the fact that he probably liked David and despised him at the same time. I have felt and experienced this exact thing with a few "friends" I've come to know over the past few years. It was good to see it put into words.
Becky
20's(late)
Single
Warren, RI
1. I would have to say that my Prominent False Positive would be 2things actually. The first would be my weight. I am by no means fat, but weight has always been an issue for me, growing up in high school where everyone was a bean pole and here I am with some curves. I always am insecure about how much I weigh and if i look fat. And i think that if I lose 10 lbs I'd be happy. But I've been 10 lbs thinner before and I was still wishing to be thinner!! My second would be Marriage, I'm still waiting, and waiting on the Lord is a hard thing but I have this insecurity that a marriage will make me more secure.
2. To let the heathly,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have….
3. I resonate most with Leah and Rachel. Nothing like feeling God has forgotten about you forgotten to bless you and seems to give everyone else around you a blessing. It's hard to watch people around you get their blessings especially when its blessings you yourself are praying for! God is teaching me to wait upon Him! I am working on becoming the right one rather than looking for the right one!
Maria
24
Single (engaged)
Stow, OH
1. My own “prominent false positive” is, at this time, my relationship with my fiancé. I think I have others at other times, but this is it now. I tend to seek my security in this relationship, always thinking that marriage is serious and secure (which it is), and that things will be perfect, or at least the way I want them to be, when we are married. I have experienced many a “failed” relationship in my lifetime (several before I became a believer) so I put my hope in this one. I have to remind myself that just because I marry this person doesn’t mean that I will always feel loved or special or beautiful. And, although I of course don’t want this to happen, my fiancé could die at any time! I can’t put my hope and security in a person as frail as I am. That gives him much more power than he can handle.
2. Our challenge is to identify the insecurities within us, expose them and give them to the Lord, and allow Him to change them and heal them with His truth.
3. I really resonated with the statement “If you can’t find resolution when faced with a persistent threat, bad feelings can quickly turn into bad behavior…” pg 49 in discussing Sarai and Hagar. I have always been a thinker. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel, but I have never given much thought or weight to my feelings. In fact, I feel like I am discovering my feelings a lot in particular situations, (I hope this makes sense) and am trying to learn what to do with them. In Carolyn Mahaney’s “Feminine Appeal”, she suggests that feelings are an indication of where our hearts are at, and we can oftentimes look at our feelings to expose sin in our hearts. So I like this statement Beth makes because I am learning that, feelings, when not kept in check, and placed under the authority of the Lord, can run rampant. I’m so thankful that God knows what I need to learn, because I’m oblivious 🙂
Anybody know the breakdown of ages doing this book?
Christy, 30's,Single,PC MO
1 – If only I…. My Prominent False Positive’s have changed over the course of my life – I almost had myself convinced I didn't have a huge false positive – and I don't – but I have of a lot of small niggling ones. Thank You God for this book and the healing that I know is coming for all of us through it!
2 To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3 Really there are two statements regarding two figures that resonate the most with me – Moses “The kind of insecurity that makes us reluctant to believe and obey God not only leads us into sin, it also ends up dragging a few other people into it with us.” And the statement about Paul “the fiercest enemy he had (I have) to fight in the fulfillment of his (my) destiny was himself (is myself).
1)My false positive . . .this is the one that is coming up right now and rearing its ugly head is that getting my marriage/family life back in order will make me feel secure. Even though the Lord is working in our marriage and family, my security should come from Him and not on my circumstances.
2)Our challenge is, "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."
3)I think I am a lot like Moses. I am more introverted and struggle to think that I have something valuable to say. Who am I to speak to others? I need the Lord's help in speaking up and what to say.
–michele
Houston, TX
How's this one – I'm closer to 40 than 30. (Actually I'm 44)
Married
Tasha
Arkansas
30s
Married
My false positive is looking nice. The funny thing is I would like to weigh 30 pounds less (think that it would fix everthing), but the sad reality is that when I did weigh 30 pounds less than I do now, all I could think of is if I weighed 10 pounds less I would be happier. OH the savage beast cannot be satisfied no matter how how many pounds I lose or gain.
Challenge: to see me the way God sees me and not let my wants and wishes muddy the living water.
So, I keep reading and praying.
Joyce
Cyril, OK
50
Married
Dearest BETH,
I have to share this with you!!
I was very insecure about this Bible study and sharing this with ladies, but I started it anyway trusting God. Your Bible Study on Stepping up is great.
I was on session 5 and stepped out the room for a minute while it was close to the end. When I returned all the ladies were standing shoulder to shoulder, so I joined them. You said on the tape do not let the devil come between you and your Christian lady friends. Encourage one another and love one another. Well, I never felt so much love in our church with a group of ladies like I did then. Thank the Lord, He is good! and thank you for your Bible studies.
I cannot wait for the next one.
Dianne
50's
Married in Arkansas
My prominent false positive: I'm afraid it depends where I am or who I am associated with. My sisters – my looks and wit; Work – my knowledge, accomplishments;
To allow God's truth to obliterate every false positive I have.
I identify with Leah more than I would like to admit. Always striving to be loved and accepted.
I already posted my answers from chapters 3&4, but something just happened less than an hour ago and I just have to confess!
My answer to Chapter 4 was Moses. And I spelled it out about him telling God that he couldn't do what was asked of him, and how I do the same thing. Well, earlier today as I was in the car, I suddenly recalled the words to the song "Make Me A Blessing." So I prayed, "Yes Lord. Make me a blessing to someone today. Help me to see each opportunity."
I ran to the grocery store for some items, and was in my own little world on the way out the door, following a little elderly lady who was alone. As we came out of the store, it was raining harder than I realized, but I had my trusty umbrella with me. Then I noticed this elderly lady didn't have an umbrella. She walked off to the side as if thinking what she should do. My first thought? Perhaps I should offer to help her out to her car and carry her bag and just keep the rain off her sweet head. My action? I kept on walking. I didn't look back until I got to my car. She stood a few more seconds, then turned and went back into the store. Perhaps to wait till the rain let up?
Oh!! My heart grieves within me!! I am so ashamed of myself! Immediately I knew that I had just walked past an opportunity to be a blessing. I prayed and confessed and lectured myself all the way home. Moses? Or me? Without even being aware, I just said "Oh, I can't do that." I'm wondering just how often God gives me something to do and I just keep on walking.
Thank you, Beth, for writing this book. It couldn't have come at a better time.
Kristi
Philadelphia
Tori
Covington, GA
20s
Married
Oh goodness… Mama Beth! I felt your presence so much today as I went to the gym! It was like you were there with me on my shoulder being my little coach! I delivered my first baby 5 months ago and (of course) am trying to get back to the way things were (insert laughs here) and I work over an hour away from home, 10 hour days and the only time to go to the gym is on my 45 minute lunch break. So, here I am (with unshaven legs) trying to squeeze into these pants (not going to unleash the unshaven legs in shorts!) and all I can do is try to not look at the people around me. I am thinking self, just exercise, that is what we came here for…no one cares what you look like and if they do, then oh well. I mean, if Beth were here, she would smack you… you need to revisit the intro and chapters 1-4 and when you are through … oh my gosh I am literally standing here by this machine having this conversation to myself about my insecurity! What an all time low! I hope you found this as ridiculous and funny as it was! Anyway… back to business!
1. My prominent false positive would be that loosing weight would make me happier and that having money would make us happier (though the money thing has a lesser impact, but some people tend to throw it in your face sometimes and then that insecurity tends to rear its ugly face).
2. Our challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship"!!!!! (emphasis mine!)
3. A part of each of the different Biblical figures resonates but to pick one, I would say Saul probably because of jealousy. Part of my insecurity comes from people with positions and I become jealous because I know I have so many ideas, etc and have had similar positions before and/ or more experience than that person, thus comes jealousy or I hate to admit it but yes it is true with material objects. You know, you have that friend that buys everything and rubs it in your face even though you are the one who mentions that you wanted it. She didn't want it or even knew it existed until you said in casual conversation that you wanted it? Here comes mr. jealousy ready to attack. Why can't I just be happy for that friend for always getting what she wants at the particular moment that she wants it… silly insecurities!
My false positive is "having it all together." Nothing like basically putting everything in one big lump, hmmm? But I just want to be that well-dressed, assured, tidy-homed, respectful-kid-raising, volunteering mom who appears to never shriek at her family or not shower for 2 days. Of course that goes back to looking at the woman that you THINK is all that…and knowing that they, too, have other issues they are dealing with. And maybe they didn't shower yesterday either! 🙂
I don't remember you mentioning Martha as one of the Biblically insecure, but I think that she is and that I would identify most with her. She's so busy doing and trying to keep everyone happy and appearances up that she's missing out on being at the feet of Jesus. That's what I don't want to happen–to miss the best moments with my family and my Lord because I want to make sure all the toys are in their spots and nametagged appropriately.
Melissa
Franklin, TN
30s
married
Sandra
40's
Knoxville, TN
Single
My PFP has to do with financial security. I am recently divorced and all of the financial security I had before that marriage is gone. I was really taken advantage of and left with nothing. So now I am struggling on my own and the stress and pressure of it all really weighs on me. To add to it I ended up working a job for about half the pay that I had before so I feel "not worth very much".
The challenge is "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
I relate to the woman at the well. Just like one of the posts I read I have been married (and divorced) four times (so glad someone else posted this first or I probably wouldn't have). I feel like a mess!
Angie
Goshen, IN
30's
Married
First time Sista
1. Wow, in answering this one I think I have some bit of truth and a lot of lies all intermixed so it makes it sooooo hard to figure out what I'm supposed to believe….ahhh! So, I think "Approval" is what my false positive is. But where this gets complicated is that it is highly evident in my relationship with God. In my marriage, my family, my friendships, AND my relationship with God I feel like each person has their view of the "ideal Angie" and it is my responsibility to do my best to be that Angie. That means EVERYTHING I do is going to be measured up to someone else's ideal Angie so I'm constantly thinking of what everyone else is thinking. I know I'm either going to come up with what they want or I'm going to come up short so I try and try and try to come up with what they want. Where this gets sticky is in my relationship with the Lord. In my head, even He has an "ideal Angie" that I need to live up to and if I don't then He is either going to punish me or at least think of me less. I am soooo weary from trying to think of everyone else before myself and yet I've done it for so long that I don't even know what life would look like if I didn't do this. I'm trying to figure out, however, if there IS any truth to the relationship with God thing. I mean, doesn't He really want us to be what He wants? I just get soooo confused.
2. Awesome challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. I related most with the concept of Saul being hidden behind all of the baggage. I certainly know that the baggage of my past (in so many different areas) is HIGHLY effecting my current life. Especially in areas of our marital bedroom, my friendships, and my need for perfectionism. I feel like I'm suffocating my freedom in life by a mountain of baggage on top of me and I have no clue how to get out from under the mess.
jenny; 20's (for 4+ more months!); married; pine bluff, ar
1. writing it down makes it sound so silly – we should shed light on these things more often. my prominent false positive is definitely the weight factor. it's the most annoying one to me too because physically i could fix this, but of course the issue is so much deeper – i need to pull this thing up from the roots, not just put a band-aid (aka lose 15lbs) on it.
2. challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. probably a mix between moses and paul – he was enormously used of God in spite of himself. God is using me like crazy in being a lead worshipper and yet i doubt why he is using me, pointing to others thinking they could do it better. i praise God for His power, wisdom, strength, love and yet i doubt His using me. i go through the psychological zigzag of belittling and boasting in myself too. how tiring.
Deb, 50's Married, Montezuma, NC
1. I would have to say that my Prominent False Positive is financial security. I keep hearing myself say that I don't want to be rich just comfortable enough to run my business without worrying about money, being able to help my family and friends when there is a need and live my latter years with no financial worries.
2. The Challenge in Chapter 3 – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives out my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Chapter Four – The woman at the well resonated with me because I spent a whole lot of years making the wrong choices in relationships and when I finally turned back around to Jesus He opened His arms, said "I know all about you and I love you anyway."
My prominent false positive (after much chewing and grinding)is a fear of rejection. The trouble is, that's the fuel behind many others including my weight, my personality, my hair, my house, my cooking…. I discovered that I either diminish the real me in the presence of other people or over-do it, depending on what I think will make them like me more. It's crazy that I have to be a chameleon depending on my environment, so I don't stick out too much one way or the other. I like to think that I'm flexible, but I really think it's gotten to the point where I sometimes compromise the integrity of who God made me to be just so other people will approve of me and like me. It's like I'm hyper-aware of the impression I think I'm making. Some of it has to do with the fact that I want to be a good witness, and I don't want to be one who deflects people from truth so I hide the real thoughts and the real me to try to look like a "perfect Christian". There it is, but I'm not sure what to do with it.
Here's the challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
I really identify with Paul. He had SO much going for him. There was no mystery that God has chosen him to play a very specific role in the foundation of Christianity. But still he struggled with his place in it all, either being too proud and tooting his own horn, or struggling with himself and his sinful nature as he does in Romans 7:19. I am my own worst hurdle!
Ellen
20's
Married
Colorado Springs, CO
1. Prominent False Positive: Achievement
I'm always working against "the need to be considered the greatest (p. 55)." Sometimes I think that I'd rather be nothing at all then be just average. I crave widespread recognition.
2. My challenge and greatest desire is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have.
3. Saul's struggles really resonate with me because even though he is heads above everyone else, he still feels insecure. It's a good reminder that achievement and recognition won't solve my insecurity.
Katie
27
married
Mandan, ND
1. Top ones are: Beauty would make me secure (or maintained/greater beauty), Prestige would make me secure, Financial success would make me secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive adn see ourselves in His glorious reflection.
3. I think Moses' story resonated most. The line "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities" really struck a cord with me because in realizing my own great insufficiency, I struggle with allowing Him to be sufficient and strong in my weaknesses. I do not and cannot trust myself! I, like Moses, do not feel I am a good communicator. Yet God has called and allowed me to lead women's Bible study and raise a family and be married. I don't want to miss out on any one part of my God-given destiny because I'm afraid to sound dumb or know there's someone else who could explain it better. Praise Him that He has continued over and over to show Himself sufficient and as the ONLY ONE who has done anything good through me! HE is the One who can be trusted!
Faith
Murfreesboro, TN
30's Married
1. Most PROMINENT false positive (not that it's by any means the only one!): being "tiny"
2. Because Christ is in me, I can never be a TOTAL wreck… Challenge: to let Christ totally eclipse every false positive and realize the treasure that we have and the treasure that we are!!!
3. I think I identify most with Paul… he had a desperate need to explain himself and to "prove" that he was worthy and humble… not trusting that his actions would speak for himself. I want to rest in who Jesus created me to be and trust that His power is truly made perfect in my weaknesses!
Oops–forgot:
Traci
late 30s
Eastern Montana
60s
Married
VA
1. False positive would be appearance. Encompassing weight, the wardrobe I have (due to the weight issues) inability to be comfortable in social settings because surely everyone must be looking at how frumpy I must look and not listening to me and not the least important is how poorly I compare to other women my husband is around in work and social environments. I have battled every form of eating disorders for the last 40 years from anorexia, bulimia to bingeing.
2. To let Christ in me, the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part increasingly drive out and overtake every emotion, reaction and relationship in this jar of clay. To truly grasp the His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness until I am able to see the treasure we have in His glorious reflection.
4. I identify most with Sarai. I have a real trouble with trying to fix or control the problem and making things much worse than they need to be.
Ashley
Huddleston, VA
20s
married
1. I honestly don't know. It varies by the day, and basically boils down to if the me in me could disappear and just have Christ living there, I'd be OK.
2. (The fourth time I cried while reading chapter 3) When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. I'll go with Sarai. I'm a control freak, take matters into my own hands too often, and have a strong jealous streak.
Kristin
University Place WA
36
Married
1. My most prominent false positive is that if I work hard enough or long enough I can make everything right, beautiful, and perfect. Then when I accomplish all that I will be secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. I identify most with Sarah. She wanted something so badly. She wanted to believe God would provide it but became impatient and took matters into her own hands. She succeeds in producing a child but it becomes the biggest disaster. I want to trust God but am so stubborn that I want it my way. I become impatient and work to make things happen the way I think they should. I want to be in control. Doing this book and also working through Breaking Free at the same time is so powerful to me. God is changing me daily. It isn't always easy or fun but it is so worth it to break those old chains of bondage.
Andrea
20's
Moorhead, MN
Married
1. My most prominent false positive is if I were only thin….then my life would be all I desire it to be.
2.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship. When I allow God's truth to elcipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I HAVE, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me.
3. Paul- I spend an awful lot of time feeling insecure by what others have that I don't….and falling victim to the trap that God could not possibly want to use me for his Kingdom purpose.
I just wanted to let you all know that I am so encouraged to see how diverse our struggles are. I am seeing areas where I am indeed secure are other women's struggles and I'm sure where I struggle other women are secure. God is allowing my areas of security to shine through right now and I'm not sure I have ever allowed that to happen! Thank you Jesus!
20s/single
1. my false positive would, like many on here, be related to appearance. I feel inadequate and insecure around those who are, in my opinion, better looking than me.
2. let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship
3. the part that struck me the most was the part about threat in the story of Sarai and Hagar. I feel threatened that I may lose something if people find out who I really am…if i'm not good at something, then i won't be picked, if i don't look a certain way, then no one will want to be my friend, etc. pathetic i know, but the transformation to security begins now.
Sarah
26's
Single
Port St Joe, FL
1) You want me to pick just one?! Oh geez. Right now, honestly, I think there would be a tie between a great man and beauty. This past Sunday we covered Session 4 of Esther, so I've daily started saying to myself "If I never marry or have a family of my own, then GOD. If I constantly fight a battle of beauty as I know it should be compared to what the world would have it be, then GOD."
2)"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3) Moses. I by no means feel qualified to do even just a fraction of some of the stuff God calls me to. I honestly don't know why He does. See…even in my telling you that I hear the insecurity creeping up.
PS – I actually ordered my book online too. The box came to my work, and I immediately knew what it was. Don't for one minute think that I didn't wait until I got home to open it.
1. WOW…I just realized my false positive was not fitting in. I just read aa dozen or so blogs to see what kind of stuff to write so I would fit in.. oh is that not insecurity? That is so true as 20 mins ago I was ready to say it was my 45lbs that needs to leave my body. (I hate to diet and excerise alone)
2. In Jesus there is NO darkness.
3. There is alittle in each example I can relate to. Moses mostly though. I am told with my education and experience I could do ….job. I don't have the confidence in my self to sell my self in an interview. I have been out of the workforce for 10 years and need to get back in. Thats a long time, but that is another story.
Beth, I am also doing Breaking Free for the second time and tonight will be our discussion of week 5. It was the hardest week ever in all the studies I have done. We are currently in a custody battle over our son which we had for 6 1/2 years. We are confering with an appeals attorney now to see if we have a chance to overturn the order. Please add this to your prayer list. I so would like to know how you ever got through your loss of Michael. It's all I can do to get up some days I'm so distraught. Without my faith knowing Gods plan for Christian is much greater than mine I would be a bigger basket case. LOL. Anyway, Thanks for listening.
Palmdale, CA
50's
Married
Cathy
Amherst, MA
60's
Married
Is it possible to even read any of this without thinking back to those insecure days of high school and college? Always the old insecurity with body image!
The challenge at the end of Chapter 3 meant to me that it is just about time that I let my positive and secure side that accepted Jesus Christ into my life overtake that old insecure self that still wonders if I am good enough!
And I definitely can relate to Moses – please, God, send someone else to do it! But, it always amazes me that after some time in prayer and deciding that this is what God wants ME to do – it is a rewarding experience!
1. My false positive would be related to social situations. I struggle with the thought that if I didn't feel out of place I'd be secure. I'm studying abroad at the moment and there are a lot of social situations that I'm choosing to stay away from because they aren't God-pleasing. While resisting the temptation isn't hard for me I still struggle with being insecure in how I'm being perceived.
2.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion,reaction, and relationship.
3. I related most to Moses because he kept focusing on his imperfections which held him back from serving God fully.
Beth S.
Zapote, Costa Rica
20's Single
Blair, 30's
Married in Pensacola, FL
1. My most prominent false positive is money/financial security!!! Can I say that again??!!
Oh how the Lord has blessed me but how sad I continue to compare to others!
2. "To let the healthy, utterly WHOLE, and completely SECURE part of us increasingly overtake our eathern vessels until it DRIVES our EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, and RELATIONSHIP!" (emphasis for me!!)
3. What spoke to me most were the struggles between Sarai and Haggar. Neither were content and both envied the other. Sarai was burdened with the desire to birth a child and Haggar was burdened with the desire to be in the position of honor/love, the position of the wife! Insecurity makes no one happy no matter their position. The grass is always greener when looking through the eyes of insecurity!
Colorado Springs,CO
50's
Married
1. My PFP is always other's education…I tend to envy those that have the most, and I am amazed at how it triggers insecurity in me.
2.Challenge:to FINALLY allow God's truth to substitute each and every insecurity within.
3.Oh Moses by far…each time I sense God asking me to step out and obey, it sets off an inner argument about how I am not qualified…I am ALWAYS surprised when God uses me.
Kelli
Connecticut
30
Newly Married
1. I thought long and hard over these, and came to a few conclusions. If I dig deep and I'm honest, I usually tend to think I would be my "best self" if I was thinner and could stay home and get everything done so my "to-do" list was completely wiped away 🙂 The more I thought about this, the more I realized that my PFP is basically to be perfect… to be the perfect size, the perfect home-maker, the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect professional. Sheesh. No wonder I'm tired. Hahaha.
2. TO LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE AND COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF US INCREASINGLY OVERTAKE OUR EARTHEN VESSELS UNTIL IT DRIVES OUR EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, AND RELATIONSHIP. TO ALLOW GOD'S TRUTH TO ECLIPSE EVERY FALSE POSITIVE AND LET OUR EYES SPRING OPEN TO THE TREASURE WE HAVE. TO SEE IN HIS GLORIOUS REFLECTION THE TREASURE THAT WE ARE. TO LET THE BEAUTIFY OF THE LORD OUR GOD BE UPON US.
3. I had a hard time identifying with the first examples. Mainly because I'm not terribly jealous of other women. In fact, I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but I am not insecure because of other women or jealous of them at all. I LOVE when other women are pretty or succeed or excel in any area of life. I love encouraging women and watching them grow. I am insecure because of ME. That being said, I totally resonate with Paul. Ah, I feel as if I know him well 🙂
Love to Siestas… and DEVIN (I wrote your name big so you could see it!), if you're reading this, you hang on girl. Everyone told me I was "too picky" and all of that garbage. I don't say that to be disrespectful to anyone who told you that you are too picky, but I'm being honest that it's garbage. I received some horrible advice at a crucial point in my life, much of it from a trusted group of Christian friends, and I've vowed to stop any more lies before they ruin precious women. God fulfills dreams. He does. You hang on to your life, to your purity to your love for HIM. You hang on to all that is TRUTH. God NEVER EVER EVER GIVES US LESS, and you can take that one to the bank!
I know you will hear this from many women and I'm so glad. But you need to believe it. I made a few mistakes in listening to garbage, but praise God, HIS voice always rang out louder. I would never call you picky, sweetheart, I would call you a faith-filled women who KNOWS God's best for her. You keep on keepin' that faith!
Sylvia
Palm Coast, FL
50's
Married
My Prominent False Positive- Knowing who you are and not caring what others think. I often give the aura that I have it all together and will even say, "I don't care what others think." But, in reality I do.
Challenge-
To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
Biblical Figure-
Paul. I have always felt like my personality is more like Paul's than anyone else and like Paul, I feel, at times, like I have to defend who I am in Christ. There are times when I feel as if the "other person" should know and understand what God has done for me. How He has changed me and rescued me.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
WOW! I'm having a hard time narrowing it down to one… I guess I'll generalize and say looks, but it encompasses a bunch of "categories," and the older I get the more things fall into that category (like being caught with a surprise hair poking itself out of my CHIN!) Being dressed appropriately when I'm out somewhere, or my complexion (why in the world do I sometimes have more pimples now that I'm in my 40's than when I was in high school?), "old" skin, out-of-shape-ness, a BAD-HAIR DAY… Why don't men even THINK about such things, and why must I obsess them?!?!? Yeah, I guess that's my False Positive…
ML, 40-something & married, Ellicott City, MD
1. My own prominent false positive is money! I feel that if we have more than enough everyone would be ok and everyone would be ok with me!
2. Our challenge is to let the Holy Spirit open our eyes to our security in the Lord and to let that realization wash over us until our every insecure thought is rinsed down the drain and replaced by our security in who we are in the Lord!
3. Moses! Because he didn't want to do what he knew God wanted him to! I feel like that all the time right now!
Donna
Franklin, TN
Just turned 40
Married with twin 7-year-old boys
Our challenge at the end of Chapter 3:
Jesus has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all…
May the favor [beauty] of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands. (Psalm 90:17 NIV [NKJV])
Let the HEALTHY, utterly WHOLE, and completely SECURE part of me INCREASingly overtake my earthen vessels until it drives my EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, and RELATIONSHIP. Allow GOD'S TRUTH to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I HAVE, there in His glorious reflection to see the TREASURE that I am!
PRAISE JESUS!
ML, 40-something & married; Ellicott City, MD
AmyJo
Wildwood, MO
30's
Married
1) "A great man would make me secure" – when I was single, I always felt insecure, thinking "What's wrong with me?". I so wanted to join the "married world". Now that I'm married, I worry about what if something happens to him or to our marriage – basically, now that I've found him, what if I lose him?
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. – I've already seen this in small ways in my life – especially in my reactions to things! Small victories!
3) Rachel – I have felt jealous of those who have what I want and wondered if "God doesn't like [me] as well as He likes someone else". When I was single it was "Why can't I find a good man?" Now that I have and we're trying to have children, I wonder why it seems to happen for people without even trying, but not for us. However, I can rest in the security of knowing that it's God's plan and His perfect timing – so me worrying about it does not change anything. I've also learned that being happy for someone else does not take away from your own happiness. So, I've tried to overcome my own feelings (self-pity) and celebrate with them!
1. My PFP?? If/when I have a boyfriend, I'll be happy and secure. I know there are others, but this's one that creeps up every so often.
2. The Chapter 3 Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us." Psalm 90:17, NKJV
3. I can see myself in all of the examples. However the one who I related with on a huge level was Leah. A few years ago, I met someone who I felt I had to have as someone special in my life. I thought, "if he's not The One, I'll be alone forever." I was obsessed about how to get him to like me. (For his part, he wasn't innocent of encouraging me, I'm just taking responsibility for my part). When I saw we'd never be a couple, I tried being his protector and defender against those who wanted to cause him trouble. After all, like Leah, I gave up on love so I'd settle for an attachment.
After he left our church, I realized how consumed I'd become with him. I'd forgotten who I was without him being around. It was only then I could admit that I had major issues with insecurities and decided to do something about it.
Okay, I've talked way too much! Thanks so much for doing this. God Bless
Kara
Streetsboro, OH
30's
Single
Why YES!, as a matter of fact I DID feel like that tiny, little 2-sentence paragraph at the top of page 56 was probably not included in the original manuscript – it was stuck in there at the last minute JUST for me! The woman at the well – every time I hear or read about her, I feel like her name is Marilee – skeleton in my closet that I don't EVER talk about. SO concerned that when (if?) my daughters found out details about my former self, they wouldn't love me anymore, they would hate me, decide that I'm not the Mom they thought I was… So you KNOW I'm not 'fessing up about any of that to any friends – I mean they're not FAMILY, so they don't HAVE to love/like me – they can walk away… and they have.
The one time I had such a great friend that I thought if I unburdened myself and told her about those marital skeletons in my closet, it would be a freeing experience, after she was a Christian and the best adult friend I had ever had… HUGE MISTAKE!!!!! She walked away – but only after flippantly making a remark or two in front of my oldest daughter and then laughing about it – talk about mortifying! This after I had two other fairly close friends "abandon" me, for no apparent reason – seriously, what is about me that causes women to just and decide they don't like me or want to put up with anymore? Both of those previous relationships were with Christian women as well – one of which prayed with me over a miscarriage I was LITERALLY going through AT THAT TIME, and BOOM! she was gone and out of my life forever.
I'm rambling, as my blog says I'm want to do, but after all these years, I'm ashamed, I'm afraid, and I want to be free of this once and for all – Help me, Lord!
ML, 40-ish and HAPPILY married [PRAISE JESUS!] in Ellicott City, MD
Julie
Pell City, AL
30's
Married
PFP: Financial Security. Someone once told me that the number one need of a woman in a relationship is security, and the number one need for a man from a woman is good looks. I don't know if that's true, but how messed up are we?!? Still, mine is definitely financial security. And when I read it in the book, I looked around to remind myself that no one was in the room, because my face was turning red. I actually do need more finances, so I didn't think it was sin. Cunning trick, huh?
2. I need to daily and constantly remind myself that God is the source of my security in every meaning of the word. He has always, ALWAYS provided. He's not going to stop now.
3. Paul resonated with me the most, maybe because he was constantly going through a cycle of putting himself down and then reminding himself that he did have something to offer. I think I do that.
Lori, 40's
Married
New Mexico
1.My most prominent false positive would be my looks and being attractive to my husband and to those around me.
2.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I identified with Moses because I'm terrified to speak in front of others or look like an idiot publicly.
Kristin, 32
Byron Center, Mi
Married
1. Prominent False Positive: Appearance/Status… and maybe a little perfection.
2. the challenge at the end of chapter 3 is to ‘let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until ti drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.’
3. I felt like I could relate to little pieces of all of the Bible characters Beth wrote about.
THANK YOU for this great book, Beth!