Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Teri 
Karen
Springfield, MO
40's
Married
Hmmm, False positive? WEIGHT – I'm overweight, work out of my home and look for execuses to be able to stay inside, sometimes, for up to a week without taking a step outside. AND like Little Steps of Faith, I used to be a cutter and struggle daily with the thoughts of needing to do it again. Somedays it's not as hard as others, but it's still there.
Who do I identify with? Probably Moses….whenever I'm faced with a new project, I always think that someone else is better equipped to do the job.
Challenge? To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
OK, guess this will be my last try to get posted. Haven't seen any of my posts yet. This makes me feel very insecure!!
You should see my poor journal, and how many times I have tried to answer Q3 shortly.
Q1. I honestly don’t think I have a Prominent False Positive. I have many small aggravations. :0)
Q2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Q3. Leah resonated mostly with me. Why? This is not how my life is now but… Once upon a time I felt unloved by my husband. I fell slowly into a black hole of despair and emotional turmoil. A place I never want to revisit. Saved as a young girl and not able to make my husband happy no matter what I did; I felt as though I deserved to be unloved. After two years of in-depth Bible Study, I hit the bottom of that black hole and finally allowed God to lift me out. Praise Him that He lifts us out of our holes faster than we went into them! I now know and feel that I am loved by my God and by my husband.
Teresa
30’s – Married
Bardstown, KY
Teri
Tiny Little Hamlet in VA
50 Married
My most "Prominent False Positive"??
(Leave it to you, Beth, to make a question about insecurity dissolve me into a fit of giggles! It sounds like a pregnancy test :-))
Sobering right along, mine is the same one I've always had –
"Beauty would make me secure"
now
"Recapturing youthfulness" just piles insult onto injury!
I identify with the "Samaritan woman-at-the well" most. Not because I've had 5 husbands (or men I've lived with), however.
I always sensed that she had lived with silent shame before being exposed to open shame with different husbands, men, and her community.
The beauty of that scene at the well is Jesus Himself, who was the one "man" who could see right through her and STILL wanted to give her "living water" – Himself.
I want that gaze that saw through her pain and her shame to burn into my soul so that I can….
"…Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our (my) eyes spring open to the treasure we (I) have, there in His glorious relfection we'll (I'll) also see the treasure we (I) are (am).."
Lindsey 20's married Tallahassee, FL
My hubby knew I was hunting for the book so he bought for me- proving his lack of insecurity, and like most I took the cover off, the cover can slip around and I am one (control freak) that hangs on with a death grip to whatever I am holding onto.
Girl, I mean Ms. Beth, I felt your hand come out and whack me with the ugly truth stick when you said the words "addicted to dread" phrase. Boy, I had to take that to Jesus immediately. Since I did He has told me- stop that you are doing that addicted to dread thing again.
Thanks so much for delivering the truth!
Q1: Constant emotional balance
Q2: Our challenge is “to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.”
Q3: I enjoyed the part about Paul on pg 57, “Paul also battled a big, fat ego…..but his unwillingness to let his weaknesses, feelings, and fears override his faith. Like the rest of us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself….By the grace of God I am what I am (1 corinth 15:10). It resonated with me because I feel my mind and emotions are my biggest enemies!
Michelle
30’s, MI
Married with a one year old
Never participated on a blog before
Lisa/IA/30s/Single
1. My prominent false positive has to do with comparing myself to others. I try to live up to other people who I perceive are smarter, funnier, and more personable than I am. In addition, I put myself above people who I perceive to be less personable than I am. Furthermore, I allow other people’s opinions of me to direct my emotions. If I’m not invited to an event, I am deeply wounded. Or, I will have a great time at a party and then on the way home I will let myself think that I said stupid things or made a fool of myself. Or, if a guy I’m interested in doesn’t respond to me how I think he should, I will send myself into unmovable depression. I absolutely hate the tailspin that I put myself through, especially when I know that no one is going to remember that I sang that one Karaoke song, or the comment that I made. People tell me that I am smart, funny, pretty, and that I have a lot of things going for me, but I don’t believe them. I continuously beat myself down and compare myself with others so that I can be like them.
I could probably also claim marriage as a false positive. As I was reading other’s posts about feeling insecure in their marriage I thought to myself, “Really? Married women are insecure?” Thanks for your honesty ladies!
2. To believe deep down inside that we are as precious as God does. (In my own words)
3. The discussion of Rachel and Leah resonated the most with me. Leah’s desperation to win over her husband happens in our lives everyday. In today’s culture women will stop at nothing to get a man to notice them. Whether or not other women are playing our game, we compete with other women by dressing inappropriately, openly flirting with men, or giving away our bodies in order to win a man. Basically Leah is having children to compete with Rachel for their husband’s love, and Rachel falls pray to this by comparing herself to Leah. The ironic thing is that Rachel already had what she wanted (Jacob’s love) but she was driven to want more out of insecurity. This is a good example of how outlandish insecurity really is.
Amy Storms
Santa Clarita, CA
33
Married
1. Prominent false positive: Job certainty/career success would make me secure. (My husband's job security, I mean. Since I don't have a job, I worry over his. 🙂
2. Challenge: To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
3. Paul: "belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag…the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself." Me, to a tee.
20s, married.
1. False positive: to be used of God. It seems like a positive thing, but somehow I manage to turn it into an idol and measure of my worth.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
I liked the line on page 57 where you said that "the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of yourself that would deny, destroy or distract from the great work of God in you." I resonated with that because my shame has been this distraction ever since childhood. I used to think shame was a good thing because it made me sorry for my sin, "It was a good punishment" but now my eyes are opened to see that inordinate shame is sin, and Jesus' blood has purified my consicence from dead works to serve the living God. (Heb 9:14)
3. I'd identify with Moses because a mentor used to call me, "little Moses" because I was too afraid to speak/teach when I was asked to. I'm still terrified of it, so much so that my stomach churns at just the thought of it. I covet your prayers for freedom in this area – either to not feel compelled to speak (because I hate even just the thought of it) or freedom to obey if it be God's will.
1. My Prominent false positive is that I use to think I wouldn't be insecure about my looks if I could gain some weight. Now I have went in the opposite direction and am insecrue about being overweight.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3.Sarai and Hagar – jealousy never makes us secure niether does trying to hurry/rush God in His timing for His will.
Kristi
Rogersville, TN
30s
Married
I have to laugh at the comment from the lady whose book came to her office and the awkward situation she was in…..I wonder what the lady at the checkout at Sam's Club thought of my level of insecurity when I purchased 5 copies at one time!
(Talk about looking crazy!)
Chris
40's
Married
Canton, NC
1. Someone to love me, again, my future prince.
2. I am going to identify myself with a statement made on page 47, "nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants. Three years ago I was engaged to a guy I had dated off and on for 6 years. The entire time I knew we weren't spiritually yoked, I think its 2 Cor. 6:14. But, I was already in love with him and doing well spiritually, so I thought I would help him along and then one day he would become the leader. However, he broke off the engagement 6 months before the wedding. Response from him, "he just didn't think I loved him.."
I am still a virgin and I believe that this is why I lost this guy I was in love with. I couldn't give him what he wanted. I had made a promise to myself at the age of 14, and to this day, wear a silver purity ring a mentor had made for me that says "Love Jesus", and so I desire maintain my purity until marriage. And so far, I have and don't regret keeping this gift for my prince one day. Sometimes, I wonder if there truly is another person God has for me? Did I lose out, just because I kept my standards high?
3. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
Devin
25
Single
Birmingham, AL
Question 2 and 3 out of order…
Sorry girls!
Devin
Diane
Missoula, MT
40's
Married
My most prominent false positive would have to be weight which really surprised me. I lost 25 pounds over a year ago. Recently gained 10 back and am really disappointed in myself. Didn't realize how much my happiness was tied to my body image.
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I identify most with Moses because I fear speaking in front of people even when I feel I have something worthwhile to say. I'm so afraid I will sound stupid that I let it hold me back. And that's just plain sad.
Pat
Valley Center, Ks
40's
Married 26 years
1. Most prominent false positive:Credentials would make me secure.
2.Challenge: " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. Moses by far!(I can relate to "Please God, just find someone else.") I know God is calling me to step up to a task and I have been fighting Him about it for nearly 3 years. I have been begging for someone else to do this and it's just not happening. Our Lord is patient and is continuing to press me and He is winning! I have decided the pain of change is more desirable than the pain of staying the same! Praise God, He is bringing my husband along side to walk with me through this!
God Bless ALL my siestas as we go through this.
Saved by Grace
40's
FL
Married
1.) My biggest false positives are safety of environment and financial security. I've never been one to be intimidated by "The It Girl". I love women and I love being around women who love women, no matter how pretty or together they are. Probably the most valuable lessons I learned in college stemmed from living in my sorority house – one of those lessons being that whether a girl was crowned queen or chosen for the cheerleading squad, she still slipped her jammies on one leg at a time, brushed her teeth, and suffered the pains associated with a shattered heart – all just like me.
2.) "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."
3.) Sarai and Hagar are the hands down winners!!!! I'm reminded of a time when I was young and incredibly insecure – many of my friends and I were actually in awe of this one girl who had managed to date a certain playboy/BMOC, and keep him as her boyfriend for years, merely b/c she acted like she did not care if he fooled around on her. She never lost her cool, never got emotional, never let anyone see her sweat over it. We were amazed at her level of unflappable steadiness. We wondered why we could not achieve such a calm and unfettered style. Can you believe that?? We aspired to be just like her – a woman settling for a lousy relationship!!!! We actually thought she was someone we should aspire to be!!!! How crazy is that??? And, how pathetic??? Obviously, she was either miserable, or she really did not care about the guy, b/c no woman who Truly Loves her man is going to be happy if he's sleeping with someone else!!! We were in awe of a sad, pitiful dynamic!! What's worse is maybe she wasn't even miserable!!! Maybe b/c of a warped level of insecurity, she thought that was as good as it got!!! Wow!
Sabrina
Lincoln Nebraska
married
50s
The last time I came face to face with insecurity was to comment on this book. I wrestled with what to say all week and then felt dumb about feeling that way.
What resonated most to me in Ch 2 was when Beth said "I need someone who will love me when I hate myself." I am hard on myself and often wonder how God could forgive me again and again and still love me. Yet, I am continually telling others, my daughters included, how much He loves and forgives them. I just can't wrap my brain around the idea that I am worthy of that kind of love.
Prominent False Positive: A 3-way tie
1. A great man will make me secure.
He walked out on me. (God restored!)
2. Financial success…lost job, twice
3. Beauty…60+ Need I say more.
The challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positve and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17 NKJV).
Who do I relate to most:
Saul…not a constant terror, but still fearing a loss of admiration (ministry) Thank you for the reminder that God alone is in charge of my destiny.
This sure hurts in a good way!
FG
Birmingham, Al
60's
Happily Married
Amy, late 30's, married, Orlando, FL.
1. Do I have to choose only one? 😉 Most prominent: Success/direction in ministry (and I hate that it's that too, does that make sense? I mean isn't Jesus' calling validation enough? ugh.)A runner up would be: always being strong emotionally and spiritually.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Amen and so totally be it Lord!
3. I had 100 LOL moments reading their stories. You are so hilarious. I can probably relate to all of them in some way, but the disciples at the Lord's Supper and "The need to be considered the greatest is always rooted in the gnawing fear that we're not." Always wondered what was behind that puzzling emotion of mine. Not feeling like I'm the best often leads to PERCEIVED rejection on my part. Thanks for shedding the Light. And Paul, "he was enormously used of God in spite of himself" And how girl.And how.
I'm almost to Ch. 6 and God has reached down and literally grabbed my heart several times. It almost feels like I had waking sleep apnea. He was so plainly speaking to me, my heart flat out stopped. And then the squirting tears. The "you really do see Lord don't you?" tears.
pg. 19, "Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form." Confirming God's call to me this year to overcome the need for perfectionism.
pg. 20- 2nd large paragraph. "an inordinate desire to make peace that is not always others or God centered." thought I was the only one who has teetered on the brink of insanity with that one.
pg. 39"No one solitary thing on this entire planet has the power to secure everything else. Not even a long-awaited child.." Right before reading this line I felt this whisper,it seemed out of place. It said, "You have made this adoption an idol." Then I read those two lines. I never wanted to make it an idol. I've tried so hard not to. But hope deferred makes the heart sick. And our little Hope (her name) has been "deferred" almost two years now, with 2-3 more years possibly to go, and my heart is battling to overcome the pull of idolatry in her adoption (from China) every day lately. So glad for the reminder that it is not her I am to seek, but the God who so graciously allowed us to be a part of His plan in her life.I've gone on way too long, appreciate you much.
Patty
Kingwood, TX
50's
married
1. I guess maybe the overriding “false positive” or lie that I believe would make everything better is: ‘if I could just think clearly and quickly on my feet’. I feel like I just disintegrate into a pile of mush if I’m under pressure to say something ‘live’. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing or say the right thing the wrong way. So I often just say nothing.
2.Challenge “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of (me, that is Christ in me) increasingly overtake (my) earthen vessel until it drives (my) every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When (I) allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let (my) eyes spring open to the treasure (I) have, there in His glorious reflection (I’ll) see the treasure (I am). And the beauty of the Lord will be upon (me).
3. I suppose I most identify with Moses. So often God has had to back me into a corner to get me into position to practically force me to step up and do what He desires me to. Like Moses I look back at my earlier failures and rejections and at my weaknesses and say, “God I can’t, I’m afraid, I’m a slow thinker, etc., etc.” And He says, “you can’t, but I can do it through you if you’ll let Me…..”
But lately I also identify with Paul b/c as God gives me success in the things He’s called me to do I can so easily slip into pride/ego/selfish ambition, forgetting that it’s still and always will be all about HIM and not about me.
False positive: being married with children. I just turned 40, but since I've never been married & don't have any children I don't feel like a "real" adult woman. I don't feel like I fit in with other women my age because they all have families. I feel like if I could just have my own family, all would be well & I'd be OK. p.s.–I bawled my eyes out when I read that not even the long-awated child would heal insecurity.
1. My prominent false positive would be "if I could be perfect"
(trying to be God – yikes) or at least excel at everything
(which I attempt to do through control), everyone would like
me. Obviously I can't do it all or control all situations and
that certainly will not win friends even if I could! I guess that
would be a combination of performance,popularity & power. Nasty combo.
2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
3. I identify most with Paul. Belittling and boasting in
himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag….the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself. Totally me, depending on how I've measured up in my own eyes.
Also Moses, Sometimes I think I'm not good enough, so someone else should just do it (those are usually during my belittling myself moments!)
oops – forgot
Sherri
PA
20's (29 today!)
Married
and I'm ticked that I can't edit my IMPERFECT comment because I forgot to post my stats!
My false positive that is most prominent would have to be my weight because, like a waterfall, that leads to all of my other insecurities…if only I could lose those pesky 10-15 lbs then I would look better in my clothes, feel more confident, attract a man, get married, have a loving family…and all of this would validate to me that I am worthy to be loved. As I type this I realize how ridiculous it sounds. I am worthy of love because I am a Child of God, not because of a man or a future family. This leads me right into the Challenge.
As I am reading this book I realize how loud God is having to shout at me to be heard over my insecurities. I feel like I have my hands over my ears singing "La La La La La"–but God is in my face saying "You are beautiful to the One who created you, Beloved, Just the way you are. Am I not enough for you? Why do you need an earthly being to say the things I have been saying to you every second of your life?" I have an image of God, during this process of realizing my insecurities, slowly removing my hands from ears so I can hear His voice. I need to cling to His voice and shut out the pack of lies Satan feeds me! I hear Satan telling me "You would be attractive if you only lost weight" "You would make more money if you were smarter" All of these "if onlys"…These things are not important to my Heavenly Father. I can't do His work with this albatross of insecurity choking me. As Beth once told me in a Bible Study…"It ain't about ME". Well insecurity is all about ME and I have to stop focusing on ME and allow HIM to use me, warts and all.
I have always held a soft place in my heart for Leah who so desperatley wanted to be loved. She was used by her father to trick Jacob who didn't try to hide the fact that he loved Rachel more. Like me, Leah seeks her validation for feeling worthy to be loved in her father, sister, husband, and her children. I want to take my hands on either side of her/my face and slowly move her focus from earthly people up to our Heavenly Father. My ache for Leah is the ache I have myself. I know that the God of Everything, the God that one day every knee will bow to, is in love WITH ME! He is so in love with me that He can't get enough of me, He wants to talk with me every waking minute of the day, He never tires of telling me how much He loves me, He writes me love songs, poems, and love letters. Now after knowing all this, why is it so hard to believe it?
Kate
Concord, NC
30s
single
Mary
Dixon, IL
50’s
Married
1. My “Prominent False Positive” would be in the financial area. Being a Godly steward and living within Gods’ financial plan for us would make me secure. Doing it our way makes me insecure and fearful.
2. Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The woman at the well in the fourth chapter of John, and Paul are who I most resonated with. And to answer the why, because ONLY “By the grace of God I am what I am.” Amen
Cherie
40's
married
Bloomington, Indiana
1) First false positive is that if my kids are healthy and whole then I was/am a good Mom. I am one anyway. There, take that! It's all I have ever wanted to be:) I have 4 daughters and am the one who forgot to list my name in the first post but have a 20 yr old with an eating disorder. In fact, I am going to drop the next level of insecurity and tell you I have TWO daughters with eating disorders. Shew!
2) When we allow God's truth (amen) to eclipse every false positive adn let our eyeballs spring open to the treasuer we (already) have, there in HIS GLORIOUS REFLECTION. Similar words from my BFF on her deathbed to me~ sweet words Jesus!
3)Paul and the self sabatoge…..that dizzified thing where I hold tight to God's truth and know what I know, and in the next breath doubt my own thinking.
***Hey I love the cover Beth, and you are a cutie and you just celebrate that girlfriend!!
I am having a major insecurity attack–I ordered the book on line -of which it said they would ship 2.2.10 & I would also receive a 6 month subscription (I believe to an online bible reference sight!) I still have not received the book (2.18). Of which I seriously feel the company doesn't think I'm important enough to deliver the merchandize they have billed my credit card for! I was so looking forward to joining the group.
Marilyn–Kearney, NE–60—all alone!
Marilyn, would you email me at [email protected]? Thanks!
My most prominent false positive is: Financial security will make me secure.
*When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
I think I most identify with Sarai. Although our lives are completely different, I have tried to manipulate people and circumstances to get what I think I want because of my insecurity.
Tammy
Lusby, MD
40's
Married
Sissy
Nederland, Texas
40's Married
This is my first post on insecurity & I am so insecure about doing it that I have stopped several times before I was finished because I just know it will sound dumb. I have a heavy country accent that most people are eager to point out, not in an ugly way, just jokingly, I teach preteens and they love to try and talk like me, so when ask to get up in church to give a testimony about teaching Sunday School I do a Moses thing, except I'm talking to the Pastor, no don't ask me I can't do it you know I'm country to the bone and nobodys gonna pay attention to what I say, just the way I'm saying it. I sing on the Praise team but have given up singing solos because I am so insecure about It. Right now I'm so insecure about even posting something that if I don't send it now I will erase it. I'm just a mess.
Hi Spiritual Mom Beth:)
Long week:)…My prominent false positive I figured out was my weight, but then I realized that it was much more than that, it's really my whole outer appearance and demeanor, ultimate christian woman-I wanted to look like I'm secure even if I'm not…To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship…Leah mainly, always intrigued by her; she was unloved and tried everything she knew to be loved, and then seemed to give up and interestingly enough, when Jacob died, he requested to be buried not next to Rachel, but to Leah. Did he love her in the end? I'd like to think so. There's so much to fix in me, but at least my eyes are open to it now! I am being set free, and that makes me want to be tearful! It's time.
Blessings, Love in HIM, ((HUGS)),
Katie G
20's
married
Knoxville, Tn
Tamara
Kelowna, BC, Canada
late 20s
single
1) My prominent false positive is thinking that having lots of friends and having people notice me will make me feel secure.
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) I most identify with Moses. I'm good at asking God to send someone else to do when He asks me to do something.
Devin, Devin, Devin, precious, precious Devin!!! He's out there!!! God is saving him just for you!!! My son is only 16…oh my goodness, I'm SOOO not matchmaking, he's a bit young for you, I'm simply making a comparison! He's sold out to Jesus and choosing purity for his wife. He has asked me the same thing you are asking…is there anyone out there saving themselves for me? YES, YES, YES!!! It's a lie from Satan for you to be feeling like giving up! You go, girl, and we'll ALL be praying for you!!!!!!!
Joyce
Married
Cyril, OK
Well, humm…I got so excited I went to Ch. 7, so I must back up alittle.
My prominent false positive is if I were smarter and knew the Bible better I could be a Christian Woman Speaker one day or could teach a women's class, because I love it so much…of well that not be so false. I'm trying to do something for the Lord.
This I need to learn:
Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we are.
And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. Ps. 90:17
What I like that you said is Jesus is not co-dependent with us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
I think I related to Moses, making up excuses and not feeling good enough. I do want to obey God though in my heart, even if I am afraid sometimes.
But, Sarai and Hagar__that story really open my eyes. It broke my heart to realize how far insecurity can take you.
This insecurity junk has got to go! God is the most important everything in my life!!!
My husband just handed me my cell phone and said you want to feel important take this. ha! (If he only knew, that is not security!)
I have women's meeting tonight, guess who is leading the devotion and brunch for later on __I am stepping out on faith, sister!
Bert,Paducah KY
30's Married
I missed the last assignment-sorry.
1. What you said about a "crack in the dam" yep! Let's just say, I've got lots of cracks and lately some of been showing!
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, uttely whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. We will allow God's truth to eclipse every falsehood and let our eyes open to the treasure we have, and see the treasure we are… and the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us! amen. preach it sister!
3. Because I too relate to Saul, I think my false positive that is strongest is fear that others have something we don't or used.
YUK! That's really bites to admit!
Anna
age 30-ish
married
Tyler,Texas
1. My prominent False Positive is beauty. I believe- no assume- that all pretty people must be secure! I'm not a wallflower, but I just always look at pretty, long-legged, tanned beauties and think, "What on earth could you feel insignificant about?!"
2."Let the healthy, utterly whole, & completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, & realtionship"
As Ms. Beth would say, "Some body say Amen!" I'm actually going to put this statement on an index card and mediatate on that thought, pray this statement- until it is planted in my soul and blooms it's reality.
3. Oh goodness, it's Saul! pg. 55 "were not jealous of people in whom we see nothing admirable….the fact that they have something we dont makes us more insecure." Yeah, I get that. I understand Saul's struggle of being intrigued by and even admiring David- and subsequently feeling unsure about his place in the world.
A quick side note: I had my book out at work (cover and all!) and a co-worker asked, "what do you hope to gain from that book?" I told her, "to walk into any room and know that I am His: adored, cherished, and chosen."
Katie
48
Divorced/Single
Dallas, TX
1. My prominent false positive is that recapturing youthfulness and beauty would make me secure.
2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The biblical figure that resonated most with me was the women at the well. You only mentioned her in passing but I identify with her the most because although I have only been married once, I have had far too many serious relationships that did not work out in the end.
Carol
ALBUQUERQUE N.M.
52 yrs
Single
My prominent false postive would be not being pretty enough always feel like people are judging me the way I look and dress. And my weight I am not heavy but could stand to lose about 10 Lbs.
2. The challenge is- To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vesselsn until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3.I kinded of feel like Hagar because this is hard for me to say but I feel that when I was little probably about 6 yrs of age my dad my own dad that was suppose to be somebody I could trust he molested me so I kinded felt like I was thrown into his path by the enemy. talking about being insecure that was a tuff one to write but that is what came to my mind when I read about Abram and Sarai. Thats why I sometimes don't feel to good about myself.
ASH
Cincinnati, OH
20's
single
"Everyday does not have to be ordinary"
http://www.faithdare.blogspot.com
1. Oh jeesh. Prominent false positives…Beauty (and everything that goes with it), and marriage/a family.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship
3. I think Saul…the whole comparison thing is huge for me…in EVERY area of life. There's always someone better–at least, that's what the insecure part of me says = ]
http://hiremelinda-hiremeanywhere.blogspot.com/
Linda Matsko
Tanya
Sierra Vista, AZ
30s/married
My most prominent false positive would be "if only I lost weight", "if only my hair wasn't turning gray", if only I was as pretty as…..". I am definately feeling that my self-image is what hangs me up the most and I have felt this way my entire life. The amazing thing is that in high school when I weighed 105 lbs. and now, when I weigh 180 lbs., the feeling has never changed. I realize that no matter how I look, it's not going to ever be good enough unless I let go of worrying about how I look.
The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I most identify with Eve. On pg. 46, Beth points out how "monumentally foolish decisions can catapult you into insecurities you might have lived the rest of your life without". I have to use my hands and my feet to count the monumentally foolish decisions I have made in my life…and I'm only in my 30s. I can identify many insecurities I have from these decisions and think "if only…".
1. My prominent false positive is financial success because I always feel inferior to people who have more money. Beauty is a close runner up for my false positive as well.
2. Challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The Bible character I most relate to is Moses because I always doubt myself and my abilities – always second guessing if I really have what it takes.
To DEVIN —
first of all, your mama was sweet and outrageous to name you Devin – how pretty. And I checking into your blog — you are GOREGOUS!!
Do not settle — NO it is NOT too late — God has your man out there, just let HIM lead. Hang in there – put God first and HE will direct your path!!
Michelle
Stephanie
California
23
Single (in a relationship)
1. My prominent false positive is social ability, as in being outgoing, likable, expressive, fun to talk to. I've always been 'the quiet one' and I wish I could just break out of my shell every now and then, at least to be more personable.
2. Challenge: LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE, AND COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF US INCREASINGLY OVERTAKE OUR EARTHEN VESSELS UNTIL IT DRIVES OUR EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, AND RELATIONSHIP.
3. The example of Sarai and Hagar was most closely related to the particular insecurity I have now. As much as it embarrasses me to say, I am jealous of my man's ex-girlfriend. I feel she has all the qualities that I lack; she's social, friendly and expressive, outgoing, oh yeah… and cute. My man is still friend with her, so I fall apart inside every time they talk.
This sentence from the book hit me hard when I read it: "Nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants."
In all harsh honesty, I feel like he is settling for me. Like maybe he would rather just take a couple aspects of my character that he likes, and fuse them with his outgoing and attractive ex, to get the better 'package'.
I know I must be wrong, since he wants to marry me- not her- but I can't seem to shake the notion that if I just had her social ability and fashion sense, I wouldn't have to worry or feel competitive anymore. It's terrible feeling like I am just not enough.
Does anyone else have an opinion on whether people can truly be friends with their ex? I have only been with the man I'm with now, so it's hard for me to get perspective.
Lesley
Alabama
married
30's
My PFP would be beauty. This must come from other females around me because my husband always makes me feel beautiful. When I look at other women, I don't measure up.
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whol, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I connected with the comment you made about Eve right at the beginning of the Chapter. I too am wrapped up in a towel or my robe as soon as I exit the shower. Goes back to the beauty thing…I am not comfortable in my own skin.
Lindy
Scott, LA
30's single
My Prominent False Positive deals with significance. I feel insignificant because I am still single (no husband, no kids). I have chosen to wait for the person God wants for me but it's not happening. The longer the wait, the more insecure I become. I realize that it is my choice to wait for the Lord instead of settling for just anyone but I can't understand why the Lord won't send me someone. This fuels my "insignificance"! And makes me wonder, "what's wrong with me? Am I not good enough?"
Challenge – to let Christ consume me until I see myself through His eyes.
I guess I most identify with Moses. "Why me Lord? I'm not good enough, pick someone else!"
Katie, 24, married
I had to laugh when Beth said that if she saw a book titled as such, she would look both ways and then run for the counter, because that is exactly how I felt! I have been so desperate for God to rid me of my anxieties and paranoia that I read the entire book the first night. Don't worry I will slow down and reflect now…lol. I made the mistake of reading the book in a public place and of course had a hard time covering up my snot and tears as I read…lol.
My false positive- definitely the weight issue. I definitely am under the influence believing that if I could just get my self into shape and have a tight toned body then maybe the outside of me could lie to the world about what is going on in the inside of me. I feel like maybe if my body showed how I had it all together with my diet and exercise, people might actually believe that I had it all together on the inside too. Talk about a false sense of security!
I relate to Saul because I feel like people who are more beautiful, secure, confident, etc. just expose my faults even more. I think if people are thinking how wonderful they are then they can't help but think how terrible I am.
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
I am glad that this challenge does not say "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us INSTANTLY overtake…"
Sometimes I forget that healing is slow. I want God to wave a magic wand over me. But no matter how long it takes, God is still with me. He knows how many nights I've felt like my heart would just wither up inside of me, and He's not finished with me yet. Praise Him for that!
My first blog site! Not a better one to be involved with!God is so good!I planned to be patient and read along with the pace but as soon as I read Ch.1, I could not stop!Everyday was a new freedom! I soaked every word up like a cracker(me)in a stew bowl(Gods words)SO many different veggies and pieces of meat, it may take a while to digest but ohhh.. so worth it!Thank you for being obedient in writing my thoughts with your keyboard which allowed my eyes to see the lies I was blinded by.
Recently, God moved me far away from all I've ever known.My husband and I believe it is in part due to Gods call on my life for womens ministry.We have no idea How, When or Where but I'm so thankful he keeps pruning me along the journey.This book sure has brought on some cutting!
So, back to the beginning of the book I go again. I will feast on it until I go to Atlanta in April.
Thank you Beth, for your never ending pursuit of His face.It has made a huge difference in this girls life….
Hi Beth-I just wanted to say that not being able to find the blog that I wrote on Week 1 is cause enough for insecurity……Hope I don't sound like too big a cry baby-it was written on the day the web format was being changed over-maybe it got lost? Will read the second week and answer the questions-I'm really learning a lot about myself……not too much insecurity about whining!!!
Aly
Bossier City, LA
60's
Single
Erin
North Carolina
30's
Married
1- My prominent false positive changes as do the seasons of my life. I was a single mom for 7 years so for a long time, my false positive was having a good husband. Now that I have a fairy-tale-of-a-husband, my false positive has gone from being a home-owner, to financial stability to having good hair (really? hair??? I am not that shallow.) God has been able to grant me each and every prominent false positive that I have had recently and I think it's because He is trying to show me HE is the only positive.
I am still learning. And I am still reading…on to chapter 4 🙂