Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Lori 
1) I have several –
a) If I could just be in control – that is my biggest problem is I want my way all the time.
b) If only my husband had met me before he met his ex-wife – we wouldn't have all these problems! But then it's he did so… If I could just get my husbands ex-wife (they share a daughter) to communicate with me (us) then all our problems would go away. (In Breaking Free this week we talked about seeking someone's approval – and for some reason I want her approval – can't stand her… but want her approval!) I struggle greatly in this area.
2)To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3)And the entire thing with Abram, Sarai, and Hagar – having a third party in your marriage is awful! This is my first marriage, so I don't know what its like to have a marriage without baggage, but I'm sure even marriages without the ex-wife still have their issues!
Leah – with the meanings of her children's names. I go over the "I have done _____, surely ______"
and it's not just with God – it's with everyone around me – surely they will see!
Seriously?
April 29
Williamson, GA
Married
To Lauren in your 20s in Stevenson,
I have been and am currently in your exact place BUT am in my 40s. I am praying for you that YOU will work through these issues now and not 20 years from now. I wish I had had someone like Beth and a book and a blog and support to realize my insecurity problem so long ago and not let it rob me of so much time and job in life. You have the potential for an amazing future ahead of you IF you deal with these issues now! Do not lose heart.
Anna
20's
Single
DFW, TX
1. At this moment in my life, it is absolutely weight. I find myself thinking that because so-and-so is only 120 lbs, she must be perfectly secure. Or that if I could finally lose this weight that is holding me down (and it’s a huge amount to lose, I’m ashamed to admit), that my life will be perfect. I “know” that it’s not the truth, but apparently not all of me knows that, since I continue to think it!
2. “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it dries our every emotion, reaction and relationship.”
3. Sarai. I trust God…until I feel that He’s not delivering in a timely manner. Then I take matters into my own hands, and it always ends in disaster. Sometimes small disasters that only I know about (but only heighten my insecurities), but other times the disasters are broadcasted to all around me. Oy.
Amy
Dallas, tx
30s
Married
1. I've only lived in Dallas for 3 yrs but it is really hard to battle the constant accumulation of stuff around you. It seems as if everyone is "keeping up with Jones" around here and it is a constant battle to not enter in. We are not on that financial level but there just seems to be a pressure to live there anyway to be happy…
2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship!!!!!!
3. I identified with Sarai and Hagar. My best friend is my older sister, but we haven't always been best friends. Growing up there was a lot of jealousy as she was the beautiful, popular girl and I was the friendly, smart girl. I still sense some of that in my life with friends and I wish it weren't so.
Kelly
Fredericksburg, VA
30's
Married
I am getting SO much from this book. I didn't take the cover off, but instead almost defiantly plopped it on the counter at the checkout to "show" how secure I am – HA! Puhlease:-)
1. My prominent false positive is a tie between feeling thinner/ in style, combined with an insatiable desire to be able to stay home full time while living the life all my friends seem able to on one income. To me they are all rolled into one picture perfect life. I have thought about a million times, "Oh if I only drove _______, or could pull together outfits like _______, then I would be content." Oh how I need this book.
2. The challenge, already underlined in my book, "When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord God will be upon us."
3. Sad to say, I identify most closely with Saul. Too often I view others successes as a sure sign that I am sure to soon be forgotten or surpassed. Working on that, but for me it is a struggle battling apathy as the only way to not care if others surpass me. Does that make sense?
Stephanie
Tupelo MS
30's
Married
I am having to add to number 3, because I would be lying if I didn't add this…
3. Saul as well. I got so caught up in thinking of what I might have missed in my disobedience to Him because of insecurity that I forgot about the jealousy I have when others do what it was that I felt led to do and didn't. Or when people are just flat better at something that I want to be good at. Haunts me. I still don't know really what it is I'm gifted with, and I want to be so content with the fact that I may never see it, and I so want to yield to Him and be obedient daily, even if I don't ever get recognition on this earth.
My most prominen false positive-very hard for me to pick just one
beauty/weight.I do anything and try anything to lose weight the unhealthy way because I want now.
The challenge- To let the healthy,utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion,reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclispe every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in HIS glorious reflection I will also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the LORD my GOD will be upon me (Psalm 90:17)
I identify with Saul becuase I struggle with feelings of jealousy. Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss.
My most prominent false positive: I couldn't decide between 2 so I'm going to combind them and make marriage/husband and popularity into one and call it people (if I had the perfect husband and close friends I wouldn't be so insecure. yeah, right!)
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessel until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
I definitely identify most with Moses. I'm reluctant to obey and do what I hear that still small voice telling me to do. How many times have I heard Him tell me to do something – even something small like call someone – and I'm too insecure to do it – don't want to bother the person or think they will wonder why I'm calling b/c I've never called before or hardly know them. I constantly think I'm not qualified to things.
I think ONE of my prominent false positives is personality – the kind of fun & lively personality that everyone clamors to be around.
The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure (Jesus) part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship!!!
The Biblical figure that resonated the most was Saul. I can totally see myself hiding among the baggage! The statement that resounded in my mind was "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." This is SO true for me! Have you been talking to my counselor?? 🙂 I relate with Saul because I feel that I am such a complex mess of fear, insecurity, pride, tendency to be overtaken by emotions, love & jealousy for those I admire, & unique gifting, yet fear that I won't be the best. . .
Meredith
Anderson, SC
20's
Married
Dawn, 51
Married
Clinton, PA
1. My weight and figure….for some totally absurd reason it is constantly in the back of my mind that if I had that under control and could wear all the gorgeous clothes in my closet that no longer fit….all would be grand.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole and ompletely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion.
3. Moses for sure…..never feel adequate with what I do in my leadership duties or capacities. Every time I am up for a rank change, I self-sobatage and avoid the promotion telling myself I wouldn't maintain the title long anyway because I don't have what it takes.
Denise
Albuquerque, NM
50's
Married
I just wanted to apologize for not getting my response before after the time limit. I have been battling illness and injury, so here goes:
1. If I had been ever become a mother, my husband would treat me respectfully. To see ourselves secure in Jesus in whom is no darkness at all.
2. Eve, the idea that she chose fig leaves (only the most torturous covering)…
Lori
Wake Forest, NC
30's
married
It was hard for me to identify my false positive. I wasn't sure at first if I really even 'got' it. So I asked my husband to read it and explain to me. (do you think I may be insecure about my intellect?:) After 'getting it', I think I have a few false positives, but the 2 that stand out the most to me are beauty/weight, and self-confidence. I believe if I had those 2 things life would just be so much easier for me…..
I think I identify with Moses the most. I have such a low level of self esteem that I really have to be pushed to do anything. This line in the book really resonated with me. "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities." I wonder if I can ever live up to what God has in store for me, and will my own negativity hold me back from receiving His blessings.
challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I love studying this book. Our church is also going through "Unpacking Forgiveness" in small groups every other week so one of my sisters-in-Christ and I are doing both. We are meeting every Thursday morning to discuss the questions and we are enjoying being open and honest with each other. (I do not have internet at home.)
One thing that my eyes have been opened to is the fact that my driving insecurity, financial stability, comes from some things that happened when I was a child. My parents filed bankruptcy and then they got divorced so not only did I lose the security of a home I lost the stability of a family. Things only went down from there. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse etc…
I know that I am not the only one with a past like mine.I thank God so much for showing me that even people who seem to have it all together, like you, still struggle.
Praise God! Freedom is just around the corner…….
1)My most prominent false positive right now is financial. If I had more money everything would be easier is the lie I tell myself.
2)The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3)I identify with the competitive nature of Sarai and Hagar also Rachel and Leah. I'm much better about not competing in relationships than I used to be, but still sometimes I have to say out loud to myself. "This is NOT a competition!" My girlfriend and I used to compete all the time when we were young. Not just over boys either, but grades, friends, sports you name it. We are still great friends now but we've grown out of the competition thing and can just be real with one another!
Pam
Dublin, VA
30's
Married
Prominent False/Positive:
My educational background. Only a high school grad but always feeling inferior due to lack of college. I feel inferior to anyone who excelled in school or college. I would never offer my insight due to that very strong insecurity. I dont think I did the best job raising my children because of my educational minus. This carried over into not applying for a better job that would show my insecurities,not volunteering for anything that would emphasize I am under educated in many areas. Although I strive to learn new things I still carry that cloud over my shoulder.
Bibilical figure I most identify with is Moses:
"O Lord, please send someone else to do it" really strikes with me.
I believe I have missed many chances to do ordinary things by my insecurities.
I will post this scripture in my book: "May the Lord answer you when you are in trouble; may the God of Jacob make you secure".
Louise
slightly into 60's
married
Sacramento,CA
Prominent False Positive … the ONE thing that would make me more secure in ALL things … Financial Security. IN the past year I stepped away form my teaching career to join my husband in ministry, following the will of the Lord. Our income was sliced in half – each month when I think we are going to be short – HE provides just what we need. But at the same time each month I get stresses about HOW it will be done … So if we had financial security … then ALL things would be secure – right??? Oh Help me LORD!
CHALLENGE: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and our relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. (Psalm 90:17)
The biblical figure that I identified most … Saul …
"He is exhibit A for dispelling the theory that impressive people must be inwardly secure"
HATE admitting this … I often feel insecure over someone else's success.
looking forward to next week and ROOTING IT OUT!
beth, married
fishers, in
30's
1. My false positive is "If I had a better job (or the perfect job) I'd be so much happier and confident.
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I am Moses. Called to something great but so afraid to step out into it because of a great fear of coming up short. "I have never been eloquent" and maybe He should use someone more qualified, that is usually what goes through my head. What if I fail. I feel paralyzed.
Pam
Hideaway, Texas
40's & Married
Chapter 3: God and I have been working on my false positives for a while. I'm afraid the one that is going to be the hardest to let go of is my weight/body shape appearance. I have never been thin but have always been athletic. I've always run and it helps me be more secure with my eating what I want and being in shape. When I got back from Africa I wanted to start running every day again but God allowed me to have feet problems. I'm not as obsessed with haveing to run but now I am wondering as i am getting wiser/not younger, and gravity is working, even though I still work out am I going to be OK with being a little flabby when I'm sixty or will I still be working out. Only God knows. I think I'm better but I have a ways to go.
The challenge, in my own words, is that we truly accept and live out His truth! Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. May His truth get deep into our hearts that we are able to get our security from who we really are IN HIM!!! May His truth eclipse every false positive!!! In Jesus Name!
Chapter 4: Paul is my favorite. I often find myself reading what he has written to make myself feel better and realize that God CAN USE my broken self. I find myself thinking of Romans 7 & 8 a lot.
Julie
Huddleston, VA
30's
Married
My PFP. It wasn't exactly mentioned, but after much self-inspection over the last week I think I can now name it–if I could make everyone happy and make all the right decisions, then I'd be secure. Yes, I'm a people-pleaser and I always want to do the right thing. I'm one of those acts at the circus–you know, the plate spinner. And if one of those plates crashes, then I beat myself up for what I did/didn't say or do. I'm terrified of failure in relationships and life in general. I never want anyone to think negatively of me. It's exhausting!!
The character that I most identify with is Paul. I underlined this in my book: "The beauty of Paul wasn't his superhumanity but his unwillingness to let his weaknesses, feelings, and fears override his faith. Like us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself." That's me–self-doubt. I "let the worst of me get the best of me."
My challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and complete secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every fasle positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me.
Amen!
Thanks, Beth, for being God's instrument. I can see Him transforming me as I read this book and get heart-to-heart with my Maker.
Jan
50's
Married
Albuquerque, NM
FP: 1: weight 2: closer relationship with JESUS
OT: Israelites… the Lord does awesome stuff for them and then they start whining, worrying and complaining about something else…wow is that ever me….
ch 3 pledge: (SLIGHTLY ALTERED!) Please Lord, let the healthy, utterly whole, (utterly JESUS) and completely secure part of us (YOU) increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse my every false positive (weight and faith) and let my eyes spRing open to the treasure I have there in your glorious reflection so I'll see the treasure I am …and the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon US!
1. It would have to be weight. Somehow, I think that would change everything else.
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. AND THE BEAUTY OF THE LORD OUR GOD WILL BE UPON US!!" (Psalm 90:17)
3. Eve: "not many women are secure enough to walk around for long w/o some kind of leaf." I have a group of friends that I travel with and multiple girlfriends are willing to walk around "semi-leafed," getting dressed in front of one another while I carry my clothes with me into the bathroom and do not emerge until completely dressed (well, I will come out with naked feet, but that's it!!) When that happens, it's such a stark reminder of my insecurity about my body!
Georgine
Austin, TX
Married
50's
1.My false positive: are
a. If I were skinnier I would be happier.
b. If I were younger I would "fit in" at the office better and that would make me happy.
WRONG!
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don't care how many times you've seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That's your mama talking.)
What God says about me is not what I say to myself. My struggle is how to I start allowing God's truth to break through and wash over me? How do I grasp the truth and forsake the lies? Do I beg God to help me in my unbelief?
3. PAUL. "Belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag."
Joanie
30's
Single
Kearney, NE
1. My Prominent False Positive is easy to identify…my singleness. I have struggled with it for years and as I approach 40 and without a husband, that makes me feel very insecure and quite lonely and undesirable. It is now to the point that I feel much depression about being single. I know having a godly husband would not make everything better, but I do feel that it would be a blessing and would bring much joy to my life.
2. "Let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. So many statements about the Bible characters and statements stood out to me that it is going to be hard to pick, so I would just like to mention some ideas that really resonated within my heart.
Threat and fear. Whether it is the threat of being hurt or someone not liking me or the threat of being alone all my life. Fear and threat do create alot of insecurity in my life.
Also for most of my life I have wondered how can God love, let alone, like someone like me. I pray that God will help me be more secure in the fact that I am His "treasured possession". (I think that is in Deuteronomy somewhere).
Then I think about how I do not want to miss out on the destiny God has for me and all the plans He has already laid out for my life because of my insecurities! I don't want to miss out!
And I do need to constantly remind myself that He is my All in All. And He does have all that I need. He is my everything. And with the strength of Christ and the Holy Spirit working within me, I will not let the worst of me, get the best of me.
Remove the shackles of insecurity Lord!
Linda, OKlahoma City, Single, 60's I had polio at age 3 years.
l. Prominent false positive.
That I am not good enough. In a word rejection.
2. To let the healthy whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it completely drives us.
3.Paul, because he played one upmanship. I do that too more than I want to. I try to make my problems more elaborate than others so I can get sympathy. Because I need to feel something from my peers. At least now I am aware of it and sometimes catch myself and stop.
Jennifer
Ocala, Fl
20's
Married
1. My False Positive: Beauty will make me secure.
I have been overweight 90% of my life. I sometimes think that if my weight was not an issue for me than I would be more secure. It has taken me a long time to figure out that being a healthy weight is better for my health that is it for my security! Because once I get that under control…something else about myself will pop up!
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Saul's insecurity resonates most with me. He was living in constant terre of loss. I sometimes fear losing God's love for me, my husband's love, my friends….I want to move past it…
Nichole
Nashville, TN
30's & Single
Beth, the day I met you at your book signing, I came home to find my home was broken into and my laptop and other items were stolen. I am so thankful to finally be on here to participate!!
False Positive: Outer beauty equals security.
Our challenge is to let the completely secure part of us overtake our body until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
The biblical character that resonates most with me… is Eve, I self-sabotage with food, food is my thing and at the time I am doing it I think little of the reprocussions.
Ashley
Gainesville, GA
20's
single
1.I would have to say that my most prominent false positives are my appearance and my singleness. I just never feel good about how I look and tend to feel down about being single when it seems all my friends have someone.
2.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord, our God, will be upon us (Psalm 90:17).
3.The part about Saul both admiring and being jealous of David really hit me. I often struggle with not being jealous about what my friends and family seem to have that I don’t whether it’s financial or appearance or personality. Yet in that jealousy, I really do enjoy their friendship and love them loads. I also found myself relating to Moses, in the fact that you can get so caught up in and blinded by your insecurities that you possibly never fulfill what God has for you to do.
Abi
Arvada, CO
19
Single
Melissa
20s
Married
Hampton, VA
I don't know that I can pick one false positive. I can't believe, thinking seriously about it, that I have as many as I do. Even so, I think my biggest false positive would have to do with education/expertise. I struggle so much with the fact that, as a very young newly married woman, I quit school, so that I could provide for my husband and me while he finished his degree. Even when I look back on it, I know it was the right thing for us to do, and God has greatly provided for us and blessed us both with employment (even for me, in the perfect situation, without a degree). I still struggle with telling people that, though. I always feel like I get the reaction that "more was expected" of me, since I am an intelligent person.
I love it that you asked us to repeat Chapter 3's challenge, Beth, because I read it over and over before I even read our assignment! In my own words, I think the challenge is for us to allow ourselves (okay…for me to allow myself) to give up all the lies I hold on to for "fig leaves" and let God's truth provide the covering I need. When I see myself as clothed in the beauty of His Truth, that's when I'll really be secure.
I most easily identified with Moses, and I've been thinking about him a lot lately. We're doing a study on Exodus in our women's Bible study at church, so Moses has been my companion for a while now. I'm blown away by how easily I can see that he's not focused on God, but that I have such a hard time recognizing that in myself. It is obvious to me that Moses is focused on what he thinks he can't do, and not focus on what he knows God CAN do…now if only I could just as easily identify that in myself…
Ali
Dublin, OH
29
Married
1) Beauty and Financial Security. Ugh, it sucks admitting that.
2) To allow God's TRUTH to secure me.
3) Eve, because I fall to temptation all to easily. And like Eve, I often go looking for that ONE tiny tree in the back of the garden that is off-limits even when I'm surround by PLENTY of trees with which God has blessed me.
Nicki
Washburn, ME
33
Married
It was hard to pick my most prominent false positive, but I narrowed it down to my weight.
Our Challenge- obtaining COMPLETE God-Confidence
I know I identify with Moses the most. I constantly second guess myself saying that there is no possible way God is calling me to do or say that. There has to be someone more qualified than I.
I've realized some insecurities have reemerged(if that's a word)in my marriage this week. I do believe it's due to this book. I use to be so insecure I would constantly push my husband away and not let him touch me, I'd even get angry. We haven't experienced that in the two months he's been home from deployment. My false positive- I have such a great husband who loves me so rediculously, I feel safe. Clearly I'm not past this and God wants to deal with it right now because I've started doing it again the last three days.
Jessica Secrest
Ft. drum,
almost 30
married
Holly
Colorado
41
Married
God has blessed me with much! I often beat myself up when I feel insecure because I think I shouldn't feel this way when I'm so blessed. My prominent false positive would be that popularity would make me secure. I worry too much about what people think of me.
The other night my family enjoyed a wonderful dinner out to celebrate our son's birthday. We were at a japanese restaurant where they prepare your food at your table. A group of two women were seated at our table on the opposite end from where I was. We did introductions and small talk before our meal. After our meal the waitress came and said "oh, you will need a take home box, does anyone else need one?" The two women looked at each other and started talking about the fact they ate everything. One lady said "I've gained 12lbs. since turning 40 and can't seem to loose it", they other said "that's just the beginning…". I sat there thinking because I didn't eat everything on my plate, I tripped their insecurity. As we drove home I was feeling that they didn't like me, then I realized that their reaction made me feel insecure. Oh, how we all need this book!!!
Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I identify with Saul. His constant fear of loss, conflicted feelings.
1. My own false positive is being financially and professionally secure. I think that if I didn't have to worry about money or my career I'd be secure. But do I really "have to" worry about these things? Worrying accomplishes nothing! This is where I am trying to pray more and worry less. Another false positive for me is being beautiful and married. I think then I'd feel more admired and loved. I try to instead focus on how I am deeply loved by my Savior.
2. Challenge stated at the end of Chapter 3: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly take overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are." I love the term "earthen vessels" as it used here in the book!
3. I most resonated with the Biblical character of Sarai. I have trouble trusting God's timing and wanting to take matters into my own hands. I struggle to find a balance between working towards what I want and letting go and trusting the Lord.
Suzanne
Knoxville, TN
20s
Single, in a relationship
1. Financial security is one of my false positives. There are others, but that's a big one.
2. Our challenge is to empty ourselves of the peace-robbing insecurities and let God fill up the places left in their absence.
3. I believe Moses would be one with whom I can relate….I often feel that I should do something or that God is leading me to; sometimes I do those things and sometimes I don't…whether I do or not, I ALWAYS feel like I'm not good enough to do them or not doing them good enough.
TN
40's
married
Anna
30's
Sullivan, MO
Married
1) My PFP is my weight. However, I think I need to add that much of it stems from comparing myself to others. Their talent, intelligence, creativity, ability to organize… and their weight. It's a real issue Jesus (& my Holy Spirit Counselor) has been treating. Thank you Lord.
2) The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us to increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, & there in His glorious reflection we get to see the treasure we are. Oh that the beauty of The Lord Our God will be upon us!
3) I'm with Glowing Girl. Moses and/or Saul. Like Moses, my response tends to be, "But Lord, I can't do ______________ well. You know I'll mess it up."
And Saul, because "If you want to see an insecure person make and idiot of himself, put him in a leadership position and stick a talented & together up & comer right next to him, then stand back and watch." (I would at this point direct you back to answer number one. LOL)
My most prominent false positive -weight. I have struggled my entire life with my weight. I remember being a little girl and noticing that the other girls were thinner than me.
The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
I hate to say it, but I am most like Saul. I love my friends, but I feel that I am half as great as they are. I am threatened by people who do well at my work because they must be better than me at that too.
Jamie
Wasilla, AK
20's
Married
Boone NC
62 and married
Top 3 False Positives
1) Prestige – admired, affirmed
2) Power – influential
3) Physical Appearance
My challenge , my heart's desire, is to be genuinely humble like Jesus. For Him to overcome the the pride of postion and prestige and my self-efforts to make me look good. For me to really act out of the belief that He is the source of my significance and security.
My insecure look alkes –
1) Saul who jealously feared loss of power and admiration and his love-hate relationship with David -such torment!
2) Paul being his own worst enemy in the fulfillment of his destiny.
Paul, dying to self = dying to part of him that would deny, distract, even destroy the work God would do in and through him.
May the God of Jacob, indeed, make me secure in Him.
Typed through lots of tears (repentant, I hope) and with one finger!
My weight and relating to men in general. Men intimidate me and a failed marriage has reinforced to me that I don't know how to relate to them.
Chapt 4 – Paul on pg 57,the comment about after his ego was taken captive by the Holy Spirit, up stood a person he had no inkling he could be.
That really describes where I am now. If I could, I would be invisible but God has me teaching & also facilitating Bible studies (many have been Beth's studies) in my church. Only God….sometimes when I look in the mirror I truly don't recognize the person HE is turning me into. Only God……Praise God!!!
Cindy, St. Louis, 50's, single
Oh, and I forgot…
2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
Cindy, St. Louis, mid-50's, single
1) My PFP is that if i had perfectly straight white teeth, i would be 100% happy and confident.
2) The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increaslingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3) Sarai and Hagar…
Insecirity!
1) I did what you recommended in the book Beth. I thought of a friend and something she has that I don't posses is her own home along with her ability to live alone. I have always shared a home with someone. I paid bills and cleaned and planted a garden and did the shoveling, painting, remodeling. I felt it was my home but it was never really mine and on occasion the person I shared it with thought I needed to be reminded of that I thought my weight would be more of an issue but I have lost it and gained it again so many times that I realized that it felt good for a while but there was something underneath going on and that's why i would gain it back. I had my picture taken with Amanda at the siesta celebration(Thank you Amanda you are a sweet loving and kind young woman and I was happy to finally meet you face to face after emailing for so long I just love you my sister) and when I looked at myself I saw a refrigerator with a head with a pink boa wrapped around what I had left of a neck. I looked at that and thought i need to lose some weight and then I remembered all the other times and my thoughts switched to …what is it that is keeping me from doing it. I mean the picture wasn't a big surprise just a reminder.
2)the Challenge statement:I need to let He that dwells in me, He who loves me and has no darkness within Himself take me to a place of health, utter wholeness and security, by surrendering myself and let Him drive out everything emotional, relational and reactive and come into a relationship with Him so I might know that I am Who HE says I am.
3)I can relate to Paul and the statement in 2 cor 11:5-6.
Reworded for my circumstance I would write
I do not think I am in the least inferior to you as the home owner. I may not own it by title or deed but I do take care of it and respect it as if it were mine.
Ginny Schenectady NY
50's
never married
Ps about the picture.
I also had one taken with Melissa. That girl will have her picture taken anywhere with any one and go right into a models pose to do it. I didn't get a chance to tell her my name she just whipped that camera to someone stopped talking long enough to strike a pose and we were done!!! She is too funny I love you too Melissa
Rachael
Perrysburg, OH
30's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive: I'm not sure if it's TASTE or FLARE or both. Introduce me to a woman whose house looks like the pages of a Pottery Barn catalog while she's wearing clothes out of a fashion magazine (skinny jeans with knee-hi boots and a belted sweater) … and I'm an absolute wreck inside! Jealousy and Envy abound. I'm absolutely miserable and confident she'd never want to be MY friend.
2. My challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me incresingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I want to allow God's TRUTH to eclipse every false postiive!!!
3. I related most to Saul. He admired David, liked him, promoted him … yet he was jealous of his abilities, talents, popularity. I totally GET that one.
Kelly
SC
49 yrs.
Married
1. At the moment, none are resonating LOUD, but every once in awhile my relationship with my husband becomes threatened by my insecurities.
Here's something funny, God has a way of pointing things out to us. I own a small take-out restaurant, Today, my daughter and I are working together, slow day, we are sitting in the corner of the building where the suns shining in reading our insecurity books together. I woke up feeling secure in who I am and feeling a little sassy today. We are both cracking up while reading your book, when all of a sudden my 20 year old daughter looks over at me (remember the sun) and says, " you have got to pluck the hairs on your chin". Praise God I was able to laugh.
2. Sometimes I feel like Paul, because I'm all over the map.
Katie
Topeka, KS
30s
Married
1. Weight & success
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Rachel & Leah – I'm not there now, but at one point in my life, I wholeheartedly was competing with another woman for the love of a man. That relationship, for obvious reason, failed miserably!
Julie
Tallassee, AL
40's
Married
My biggest false positive is tied between weight and power/control. I somehow think if I can control(theres that word) my weight, looks, I will feel less intimidated by those beauties all around me. I am much more secure when I am in control of a situation and tend to try to take control even when it is definitely not my place.
I identify most I think with Saul because I fight feelings of jealousy as well as feeling inadequate when around others who are talented or in leadership postitions.
The Challenge: Allowing God's truth to eclipse every false positive and to open my eyes to the fact that the more like Jesus I become the more secure in Him I will be.
Oklahoma
almost 50
Married
I think my false positive is a lovely home and financial security, neither of which I have at the moment.
"…Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are." I love that!
I identify with Moses–staring at my weakness instead of basking in and totally believing in His greatness.
1. Beauty
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Leah and Rachel. I can sooo related to Leah. Like her, I have an older sister who is gorgeous. I can remember one time when relatives came to visit. I was standing next to my sister as we greeted them. They gushed all over my sister saying how beautiful she was and a "jet setter". When they were finished, and gratuitously greeted me they said "you look just like ___" (my grandfather). Now, I ask you, what young girl wants to EVER be told that she looks like a man and an old one at that! Boys I liked only talked with me to get to know my sister. So, yes, I can understand Leah. She's gotten some bad raps. I've been her champion for as long as I've known about her. We're siestas. 🙂
What I think is truly hilarious is that I am reading in my pjs, snuggled up in my bed, with absolutely no makeup, a book on insecurity with a beautiful woman on the cover. Just to help myself get over my beauty insecurity, I'm determined to leave the cover on the book and ride through the pain. But, I must ask, why oh why did the publishers that was a good idea?
forgot to add my personal information
Karen
Hartsgrove, Ohio
50
married
De'Dee
Junction City, KS
40's
Married
prominent false positive~ "life would be wonderful, If I am the perfect weight" or "Life will be over without my husband"
Challenge~ "Me! Allow God's truth to overshadow every false positive becoming the healthy whole secure woman He died to allow me to become.
Biblical figure~ Rachel~ have my husbands love (23 yrs) no children~ feel very insecure in my barenness.