So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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1,230 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week Two!”

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Comments:

  1. 1
    ~Ginger says:

    Ginger
    Hudsonville, MI
    40's
    Married

  2. 2
    GlowinGirl says:

    Marlo, 32
    married in Indiana

    My most prominent false positive -how hard to pick one, so forgive me for two: Beauty/youth and financial security. I don't like the thought of gaining weight, getting wrinkles, etc. or losing the lifestyle we have (not that it's luxurious, but comfortable). So shallow.

    I identify most with either Moses because I can be reluctant to obey and believe and do what I feel God tugging me to do. . . or Saul becuase I fight feelings of jealousy when I see someone so talented and wish I could do THAT — whatever it is. "It is the fear that (the people we're jealous of) have something we don't that makes us most insecure."

  3. 3
    wvquilter says:

    Suzan
    Beckley WV
    40's
    Single

    I praise God that He loves us enough to accept us as we are. But I love Him even more for the changes and growth He loves us through. I'm looking in the mirror as I read this book, but what I see is changing because of His mercy.

    Please join me in praying for everyone reading this book and glorify Him for the life changes!

  4. 4
    GlowinGirl says:

    I forgot the challenge! To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive . . . see His glorious reflection in me and let HIS beauty be upon me!!!!

  5. 5
    Carol B. says:

    I for one am thrilled that the word "insecurity" was in the title as this is exactly what I needed. I couldn't wait for the book to come out so I could start reading and hopefully get some answers and be able to deal with this problem. So thank you Beth for including it in the title.
    Carol
    Newton, KS
    50's and married

  6. 6
    Charlotte says:

    Charlotte
    Clover SC
    56
    Divorced/single

    I think I am a week behind, but:what resonated most: Feeling like something bad is going to happen all the time (and then when it does, well, it's all reinforced) and I'm sure that's because I came from such a unpredictable household.
    2) What gender issue I have most recently encountered: I work in family planning with teens who are having sex at young teen ages — believe me, I try to talk to them about WHY??? There's a term for this: sexual objectification — and what it does to these young women and their sense of identity!
    I thought of your question when I was doing a pelvic on one such patient and she had decorative socks on (of course, I see the feet) with cute designs on them but the words said all over the socks: Love Me.

  7. 7
    Ginny says:

    Ginny
    PA
    50's
    married
    Just got the book am so excited to read it. Have singed up for the simulcast on so long insecurity !!! Prasie you and Bless you and your whole family. they give you to us all the time. Thank them so much for allowing you to be part of our families too.
    Love you Much!!!!!

  8. 8
    Ginny says:

    Ginny
    PA
    50's
    married
    Just got the book am so excited to read it. Have singed up for the simulcast on so long insecurity !!! Prasie you and Bless you and your whole family. they give you to us all the time. Thank them so much for allowing you to be part of our families too.
    Love you Much!!!!!

  9. 9
    Little Steps Of Faith says:

    Okay, I am going to be bold here, I figure if I can be strong enough to share my "stuff" then maybe it will lead others to do the same:

    1. My Prominent False positive I don't know if I can categorize, might be something new to y'all, but one of the things I don't DO anymore, but still have in my thoughts to do at times is cutting. I used to hurt myself to make what others made me think or feel about myself not hurt as much. I guess also trying to feel secure by " power" that people have had over me. It would always do more harm to my well-being then good, control can not make you secure, it can only make you more insecure, because you feel like you can never measure up.

    The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
    " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."

    3. I think a part of my insecurity could be found in all of them, but I think Saul would be one for sure, and I'll admit that.
    I think though when someone else does better, I start to feel not so much just jealousy, but I feel left out. You could hear the " What about me" come out of my thoughts. And I'll be more honest and say I've had that same struggle when it comes to some in siestaville…I'm a work in progress.

    Angie, 29
    single, Georgia

  10. 10
    Courtney (Women Living Well) says:

    Courtney, Canton Ohio 34

    My false positive…to be 10 pounds thinner.

    The challenge: In Him is no darkness at all.

    The person I relate to most in chapter 4 is Moses – I have been blogging for a while…I was on the Rachael Ray show as a guest for my marriage this past November – they stumbled across my blog. Sometimes I feel scared…we have a great marriage – but of course it's not perfect…I fear the what if's. What if it all goes bad with all eyes on me – the enemy would love that!

    And I wonder – how did I get to this place where others are listening to me so much about my marriage? It's scary – and I have told God – I don't want to go if you don't go before me!

    I was thankful when you (Beth) shared at Christmas about your 30 year anniversary and a disagreement you had had with Keith. It made me feel better to see that even after 30 years those fights will come – but when we hold on to Jesus we can ride out the waves. So I say "use me Lord" but I tremble.

    Walk with the King!
    Courtney
    http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Married, 29

    This comment relates to what Beth said about the book's cover. Somehow, I'm OK with people seeing that I'm reading a book about insecurity, but what has made me hide the book in a drawer instead of leaving it laying on my coffee table is the beautiful picture of Beth on the front.

    I absolutely love Beth and consider her my mentor in the faith (from a distance), and I mean no disrespect at all. But honestly, I'm so insecure that I fear my 29-year-old husband will see Beth's picture perfect face and think she's prettier than me. I'm that crazy right now, and yes, I'm reading through the book as fast as I can.

    Given that the topic is insecurity, I wonder if there was a discussion on whether to allow any altering of Beth's photograph for the cover. Maybe Beth is absolutely flawless, but if not, I wonder if thought was given to the fact that it might help women who are insecure in their appearance to pick up the book and see another woman who doesn't look just like a magazine cover.

  12. 12
    paintergal says:

    Carol
    Hartley, IA
    40's
    Married

    I had always thought my pfp (prominent false positive) was my body image. Of course, that ties into every woman's self-image, I believe.
    But I think one of my big ones, that I really hadn't even admitted to myself, is singing.
    I want to be recognized for my talent, and yet I still have much insecurity over it: lack of confidence.
    When I contemplate trying out for a part, be it in community theater or church, I look to see who else is auditioning and if I have a chance competing with her.

    2. The challenge: Allowing God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have in His glorious reflection, to see the treasure we are.

    3. Hagar and Sarai: Jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat.

  13. 13
    Sandra says:

    Sandra
    Knoxville, TN
    40's
    Single

    I am guilty of taking the cover off too! I haven't been able to read many of the posts so I am glad to know I am not the only one. Really struggling with insecurity more than I realized. So much so that I was wondering in my current relationship if when I am trying to be more secure if the issues I have a problem with are still insecurity or if they are real. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone or not. Glad to be on this journey and I know that our God is faithful and He desires for all of us to be secure and He will take us there if we will continue.

  14. 14
    MamaH says:

    Okay, sooooo I realized as I read the blog this am that I am more insecure than I thought. I found myself thinking my feelings must not really matter because she didn't mention my post. You know, mine out of 6,000. So my feelings must not be justified, right? Oh my goodness, I am going back and re-reading Chapters 1 & 2, then pressing on.

    I didn't buy the book where anyone could see me, I bought the e-book for my ipod. 🙂

    I look forward to what God is going to do in my life through this study!!!!

    Mary
    49
    Blissfully married 25 years!!!

  15. 15
    Get Your Martha On says:

    Anne
    Wisconsin
    Married
    30s

    Ha! I took the book jacket off because I didn't want to wreck it (I read every night in the bathtub). I mean, what better way to read a book about insecurity than while you're butt naked? 🙂

  16. 16
    Marla Taviano says:

    Marla
    34
    Columbus, OH
    Married

    1. Can I have 2 false positives? Financial stability and a book contract.

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and open our eyes to the treasure we have in God and His Word.

    3. PAUL. "Belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag." That is me, me, me. U-G-H!

  17. 17
    Ginnie says:

    Ginnie, 44
    single in Florida

    I have to confess that I took the jacket cover off my book as well. I never even thought of it being an insecurity problem that made me take it off, but after searching my heart that is exactly why I took it off. At least I didn't throw it away. Lord give me the strength and courage to put that cover back on. Those that know me already realize I have insecurity problems they don't have to see a jacket cover to a book to know it.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    I need to tell on myself because well I chickened out yesterday. Quickly, last week I ended up in the ER and hospital. I am ok, just asthma problems. While they were doing all sorts of test to figure out the problem I was so scared and crying like there was no tomorrow. Anyway I kept apologizing to the staff for being such a wimp and a bother. To make the obvious even more so I kept apologizing to the nursing staff while I was in the hospital anytime I asked for anything. You know like Tylenol for a very bad headache and water because I was thirsty. I think God wanted me to really get it that I have not really improved in the security area. Argh I am a little embarrassed at the ridiculousness of it all and yet it is a bit funny. God's timing is crazy sometimes. I'm going to leave this anonymously because well I'm just going to. 50ish, married

  19. 19
    Pam says:

    Pam
    Rochester MN
    50's
    Married
    1.My false Positive is the thought that beautiful would make me secure.
    2.The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship!
    3.Saul in that he was in constant terror of loss! Loss of relationship! I ask myself, how do I love well? I have been told that I have put undue pressure on a relationship.(family) I had no idea! It has left me measured and insecure in other relationships, I question everything! Yet, Jesus is calling out to me though this stuck relationship, drawing me to His inexhaustible love. Not by removing the voice of rejection but by letting me hear His more clearly. Oh what mercy!

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Oh, I have to smile. I didn't post my answers to Chap. 1 and 2 because I was afraid to post my tiny town incase someone would figure out it was me!!! Now, am I reading the right book or what!! Let alone take the book out of the house where anyone would see it.
    Promise I'll get strong and post these answers!

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Georgia
    Traverse City, MI
    60's
    Married
    I realized lots of women were insecure when I saw it on your blog sometime ago. Did I think I was the only one??? Yes, I think I may have…..

    Chapter Two….The whole definition somewhat reasonated with me….also a few comments in that chapter "stuck out"….Everyone who is insecure is usually sensitive to a fault. Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form. Do you tend to put a fair amount of pressure on some key relationships? Do you have a few unrealistic expectations? The more easily threatened we are, the more insecure we are.

    Whoa…..I have come a long way in my relationships, but have a "fur" piece to go.
    Blessings

  22. 22
    Tiffany says:

    Tiffany
    Houston, TX
    30's
    Married

    THANK YOU for putting the word Insecurity on the cover. I needed it! Sometimes I live in a world of denial and need to be slapped in the face to wake me up. Prior to picking this book up I would have said, with great confidence I might add, that I was not insecure. In fact I gave my testimony three years ago to a group of women. In it I even shared this:

    We build our lives on many different basics: their abilities, their spouses, performance of their children, their church affiliations or the assurance of money in the bank. Even being thin or popular or having the best house in the neighborhood, but do you notice something about all of these things? All of these things can fade away or be lost or destroyed.

    With this in mind, we need to remember that a foundation built on the Lord Jesus Christ is everlasting. God says in His Word,

    “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never parish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My father who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:27-29, NIV)

    I also came across this scripture (you know the kind you have read over and over before but didn’t sink in with you) that hit me like a ton of bricks.

    Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)
    My hope is that you can walk away today understanding more about the rollercoaster rides, the life changing earthquakes or difficult situations in our lives, and how you might deal with the next one that crosses your path. You have to not only believe in God, but you have to BELIEVE HIM!! He will not forsake you.

    For the last three years God has had me on one of the biggest rollercoaster’s of my life (dealing with breast cancer) and although my ride is not over I would not change one bit of it for the world. I am stronger for it today, and I realize that I do have insecurities, but I am facing them with dignity and grace, plowing through them one (prayer) at a time, never losing sight of the eternal glory that is in store. AMEN!

  23. 23
    Lspearman says:

    Lisa
    Peachtree City, GA
    40's
    married
    1. My false positive is my marriage. This is both of
    our second marriages, and we
    came in with alot of baggage.
    Mine was a very abusive one & his
    one of rejection, so Ms. Insecure
    met Mr. Insecure. Been married 11yrs, but the insecurity issue still
    raises its ugly head!
    2.Jesus is not unhealthy nor codependent.Jesus' strength is made perfect in my weakness. In Him is NO DARKNESS AT ALL.
    3. I relate to Eve!! The wardrobe
    is not the issue, but being ashamed
    to be unclothed! Sexual abuse starting as a teenager, and continuing in my first marriage, makes me feel uncomfortable with my clothes off, not when I'm alone, but with my husband. I don't tell him it does, but inside me I feel so unclean. I want these
    lies to stop and I want to feel
    secure in this area!!!

  24. 24
    Lisa Manns says:

    My most prominent false positive is my weight, especially my hips and boobs. I think to myself that if I could just take some of my hips and give it to my boobs, I'd be a lot more secure.
    And bathing suit shopping would be a lot more enjoyable!!!

    Sarai is who I resonated with most. Not only was she insecure because she couldn't give her man, Abram, what he wanted, but I also think she must not have valued herself very much. If she had, I'm hoping she would've told Abram to hold on to his tassels because barrenness did not mean unworthiness, thus saving Hagar and herself a lot of headaches. My battle with unworthiness spills over into my relationships with my friends, family and my husband, and it ultimately keeps me from the peace and joy I deserve through Christ.

  25. 25
    Lisa Manns says:

    My most prominent false positive is my weight, especially my hips and boobs. I think to myself that if I could just take some of my hips and give it to my boobs, I'd be a lot more secure.
    And bathing suit shopping would be a lot more enjoyable!!!

    Sarai is who I resonated with most. Not only was she insecure because she couldn't give her man, Abram, what he wanted, but I also think she must not have valued herself very much. If she had, I'm hoping she would've told Abram to hold on to his tassels because barrenness did not mean unworthiness, thus saving Hagar and herself a lot of headaches. My battle with unworthiness spills over into my relationships with my friends, family and my husband, and it ultimately keeps me from the peace and joy I deserve through Christ.

  26. 26
    Lisa Manns says:

    My most prominent false positive is my weight, especially my hips and boobs. I think to myself that if I could just take some of my hips and give it to my boobs, I'd be a lot more secure.
    And bathing suit shopping would be a lot more enjoyable!!!

    Sarai is who I resonated with most. Not only was she insecure because she couldn't give her man, Abram, what he wanted, but I also think she must not have valued herself very much. If she had, I'm hoping she would've told Abram to hold on to his tassels because barrenness did not mean unworthiness, thus saving Hagar and herself a lot of headaches. My battle with unworthiness spills over into my relationships with my friends, family and my husband, and it ultimately keeps me from the peace and joy I deserve through Christ.

  27. 27
    MMMom says:

    My false positive, somewhat surprisingly to myself, was education. I would have said looks, aging, money. Then I did what Beth suggested, and thought of a person I thought of as secure and what she has that I don't possess. It is an education and a "career". Of course my insecure self tells me if only I had that, then I would be qualified to fulfill my purpose. I don't want to be a person who never fulfills my destiny because of my insecurities.

    The challenge is:
    "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    The statement about Paul, "belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag" really resonated with me. Like him I feel like " the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself". I tell myself "I could do that" and then in the next breath convince myself "there is no way on earth I could do that". I want to reach the point where I can say "By the grace of God I am what I am".

    And now I need to go buy a new hi-lighter!

    Sharon
    San Antonio, Texas
    40's
    Married

  28. 28
    Pam says:

    I have not purchased this book yet but I will do so very soon. I have anxiously waited each day to start reading some posts-what a blessing already to know I am not alone in my insecurities! I pray this book and discussion board will be a blessing to each and every one of us and that we may walk away more secure in all areas of our lives. God bless each and every one of you. P.S. This will be my very first blog!

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Susan, married, 53, Texas:

    My false positive: the worry of being traded in for the younger model- thus, if I just lost those last 10 pounds, had less wrinkles and bigger boobs…

    Identified with Leah. My first husband left me and my baby boy for someone "well endowed" (over 30 years ago, mind you) and it still is an issue with me. Hearing those words of "I don't love you anymore" did more damage to a then 24 year old…

  30. 30
    Bobbie says:

    Bobbie
    50's
    Married
    College Station, TX

    I'm very happy you used Insecurity in the title but happier that you decided to take us on this journey with you to find Security! Thank you!

    My PFP is definitely my weight! I constantly feel that if I were a size 8…I would be happier, my husband would love me more, my son and daughter would be proud of me, I could shop for clothes with my friends and on and on!! Sometimes I think I use my size as an excuse!!

    The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship

    I most identify with Saul and his jealousy. I fight an ugly jealousy of my MIL where my son is concerned. That has caused a lot of sadness and hurt in my life and this is something I really want to say "so long" to.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    I want to look like the flawless picture on the cover.

  32. 32
    Linda says:

    Linda
    Charlotte, VT
    50's Married

    I am a first time blogger and I am insecure about posting this comment. You ladies express yourselves so well. I feel secure in my insecurities; I know what most of them are and I have my coping mechanisms in place.(look up the word cope)My desire is that I will remember this is a journey to healing and I won't fall into a pattern of dwelling on my insecuities. But…right now my unsaved husband is upset with me because of something that snowballed out of my insecurity, and I can't find the root.

  33. 33
    The Coleman Family says:

    Thank you, so much for putting insecurity in the book title. It was just a couple weeks before I saw that there was a book on this subject that God started dealing with me in a serious way about my insecurity. If the title had been different, it may not have caught my eye.

    1) Because my biggest security issue has to do with social situations, my biggest prominent false positive would be, popularity would make me secure.

    2) our challenge is to let our completley secure part of us, take over us until is drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. We need to allow God's truth to eclipse the false positives and see the treasure that we have and that we are.

    3) I relate very much to Moses. So often I would not do something because I didn't think I was good enough to do it.
    Tamara
    Highlands Ranch, CO
    30's
    marries

  34. 34
    theelizabethhighsmith says:

    Elizabeth
    Brooks, GA
    20's
    Single

    I had to take the cover off too, not because I was insecure about the word insecure but because I was insecure about you looking at me while I read. I'm currently doing the Breaking Free revised study and as soon as I got the book I knew "She has to go, she will know that I want juice and that I'm in bondage and insecure!"
    *It's a great picture of you-no insecurity enducing intended by my confessional-comment.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Karen
    Rockledge, FL
    50's
    Married

    I would have to say that beauty would be my “prominent false positive”…not just beauty, but also the perfect figure. I am insecure with the way I look.

    Jesus in me…He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all.
    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
    God’s truth about us is the answer to those "false positives".

  36. 36
    theelizabethhighsmith says:

    *inducing-
    insecure, in bondage and i can't spell!

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    40s
    divorced

    1. Most prominent false positive: to be at goal weight and be toned/fit
    2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
    3. Leah… longing so much to be loved by her husband above anyone and anything else besides God.

  38. 38
    Cyndi Speck says:

    Cyndi
    NC
    50's
    Married

    1. did book entry
    2. My face-to-face gender struggle: Saturday, the facial hair that I have – feeling so less of a woman dealing with it.
    3. what description of insecurity resonated most with me: Self-doubt: as a wife – fear of husband leaving me, since my mom and dad divorced when I was so little. We've been married almost 30 years, but still I am insecure.

  39. 39
    Jo says:

    Jo
    Mattoon, IL
    40's
    Married

    Unfortunately, my false positive has to do with age and weight! I find myself thinking that is I were thinner and younger I could compete in this world where men place such high standards on what makes a woman beautiful. My husband is also 5 years younger than me so sometimes satan sneaks in and whispers that my husband would love me more if I were skinny and young!!

    The Challenge is so simple yet so very difficult at the same time! Allow the confident part of us take over and to allow God's truth to WIPEOUT every falst positive in our lives! I want to glorify Him with the confidence that He has bestowed on me!!

    Sarai is the one I identify with most! I went through 14 years of infertility and it hurt knowing that I could not give hy husband a child but that someone else probably could!

  40. 40
    LovedBackToLife says:

    Rene
    Claremore OK
    40's
    Married

    I really thought I would be sooooo secure when I got my degree (took 25 years) but all it did was make me more insecure because I realize that I just don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (and I’m 44!).

    Challenge: “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.”

    Leah. Ah, Leah. “She’d given up on love. Now she’d just settle for an attachment.” As a teenager I never had a boy ask me out so I settled for being the “mistress” I guess you would call it. Like the woman at the well, I had a ton of male friends but none saw in me anything worth loving. Yea, like a teenage boy knows what love is. Oh, the pain and insecurity that drove into me. Yup, definitely Leah!

  41. 41
    Tara is: says:

    Tara
    Ennis, TX
    27
    Married

    1. My children, definitely. I've always known I hide behind them, (takes the attention off of me) and am way too proud of them, (boastfully so!), but I didn't realize until I searched that I secretly despise people whose children are "cuter" or "smarter" or more "well-behaved" than mine are. I seriously search out their flaws. Wow…

    2. to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and allow my eyes to open to the treasure I HAVE and AM.

    3. Paul, definitely…I have a tendency to think a little too highly of myself, but also put myself down a lot. I don't wear makeup, I don't do my hair, I don't look in the mirror. I'm not sure what that means yet, but I hope to get to the root of it.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Karlys
    La Place, LA
    50's
    Married
    1. We are going through a financial squeeze right now. Though I would like to believe God has healed me of other false positives, I am beginning to realize that I am insecure over whatever happens to be prominent at the moment. Soon I will attend a high school reunion. I guess aging well will be my next false positive.
    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's Truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will also see the treasure we are.
    3. Certainly, the people you discussed all touched nerves in my own insecurities, but Martha is the one I continue to revisit. She whined to Jesus: "What about her?" — just like John about Peter. Although, I have finally learned to whine to Him, I still look at the women around me… I am insecure.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Beth
    WNC
    50's
    Still waiting for my copy and then I will join you gladly.
    My fear would would probably be finiacial security. Here is a quote I found that relates to this study as well as another that I am doing:
    Men will allow God to be everywhere except on His throne. They will allow Him to be in His workshop to fashion worlds and make stars. They will allow Him to be in His almonry to dispense His alms and bestow His bounties. They will allow Him to sustain the earth and bear up the pillars thereof, or light the lamps or {sic}Heaven, or rule the waves of the evermoving ocean; but when He ascends His throne, His creatures then gnash their teeth, and we proclaim an enthroned God, and His right to do as He wills with His own, to dispose of His creatures as he thinks well, without consulting them in the matter; then it is that we are hissed and execrated, and then it is that men turn a deaf ear to us, for God on His throne is not the God they love.

    – Charles Spurgeon

    1834 – 1892

  44. 44
    Kathy W says:

    1) Hadn't realized it until lately, but physical fitness/slimness. Have never really had a weight problem, have exercised, try to eat fairly well, and stayed slim/trim. Last 6 months I've had another birthday, begun "peri-menopause," sent youngest to college, etc, and have not only gained weight, but lost tone/strength. Now am more insecure than ever when thin, young, physically fit woman is pointed out to me, or I just see her!
    2)Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive, see and believe the treasure we have and the treasure we are, and to let His beauty be upon us
    3)Paul-I have to "die to self" multiple times daily and,
    "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing."
    Romans 7:19

    Kathy W
    Mansfield, TX
    40's (late)
    Married

  45. 45
    pinkmommy says:

    pinkmommy
    30
    AR
    Married

    1. At this time in my life, my most prominent false positive is the very first one you listed. "A great man would make me secure." I am married. My husband is not horrible. But I can be so critical of him in my head and I'm really bad about comparing him to my friends husbands and thinking of ways he could be better at being married to me. I have got to give him a break and focus on being the wife he needs instead of trying to make him the husband I need. I have got to quit depending on him for my happiness and satisfaction and depend on God alone for everything. It's a daily struggle.

    2. "Yes ma'am" 😉 Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Oh, what a daily prayer to pray!

    3. Rachel and Leah. I thought of them before you ever mentioned them. Bless their hearts! How many times have I done something thinking "Now he will really love me!" or "Now he will really appreciate me."? Bless our hearts!

  46. 46
    Linda says:

    Choosing only one false positive was hard. False positive would be beauty/weight. It's been hard to see the weight I've gained, the wrinkles, the droopy eye lids, the thinning lips and so on and on. How could anyone love me?? Because that's what my self worth is based on??

    He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    I identify with the lady at the well. I've been married, yes I can say it, 4 times. I have been embarrassed to say that when meeting someone and they ask. I hate to say 4 because I think they will think less of me or she couldn't get it together or worse yet she must really have some problems….those poor men. Yes, I have some problems and it stems from my desire to want to please at no matter the cost to me. My self worth is zero when it comes to men. I deserve everything that happens to me. There I've said it again. Wow Insecurity is blaring!! But I know God is healing me and I'm so thankful.
    Linda
    50's
    Tulsa
    divorced (of course)

  47. 47
    Nadine says:

    I'm so frustrated. Anywhere I order the book they tell me a few days after I order that they are very sorry that they can't send it. Argh… I guess I'll discuss with myself when I finally get it on my next trip to the US in 2011… Sorry, had to vent, was very excited about this book.

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    I have already added my basic info, but I elect not to identify myself in this post. (I think I may also be a week behind in posting but decided not to let that stop me). Your book has been a 'Godsend' for me, Beth. I cannot pinpoint my false positive(s)because I realize that I am a walking mess and have several! I have always known myself to be insecure but, I have now been able to really recognize it for what it is now and feel as though there is hope for me! I feel you are speaking to ME directly as I read and can so relate that I feel it is a gift from God to help me. You see, I have felt such a mess that I have begun to be insecure that God doesn't love or want me anymore. I have been in Christ since I was a young teen and am now in my early 40's. I am barreling through your book and stop frequently for a good cry and confession before God. I am beginning to see that He does still love me and can still use me! God bless you for writing the book- and Praise God for you and your ministry!

    Married

    40's
    Az

  49. 49
    Sheryl says:

    Sheryl
    PA
    40's (at the very end of that decade!)
    Married

    1. I think my weight and body image are a big false positive, but I also struggle with thinking that a successful career would give me security. I walked away from teaching 9 years ago and have not had a full-time job since. I struggle with not being able to contribute financially to our household and seeing that burden completely on my husband's shoulders. I always feel inferior to women my age who are successful and talk about their work.

    2. My challenge is to let the healthy and secure part of me completely overtake me until it drives, every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I need to walk in God's truth so that every false positive is eclipsed by what I do have and what I really am – His treasure made by His own hands: Sheryl in Christ.

    3. The person from the Word I related most to is Rachel (also the name of my beautiful daughter). What resonated most for me was Beth writing that "nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure." I find it easy to believe that God is the God of the impossible and does amazing things, but sometimes it is tough to believe that He would do those things for ME.

    • 49.1
      Colleen Delbridge says:

      I am Colleen & I live in Cape Town, South Africa. I am 49 years old & am happily married for nearly 25 years. I am behind in the book,but was amazed to see what you said about identifying with Rachel. It could have been me speaking. I know God is all powerful & can do anything but He doesn’t seem to do it for me!You must be finished the book by now & I trust that your healing is well advanced.
      God bless you.
      Love
      Colleen

  50. 50
    Miss*Suzanne says:

    Suzie
    47 and married in South Carolina

    Here's something funny…I bought the book, not because of the title but simply because I love Beth's books and I was looking forward to reading anything she wrote. It never occurred to me that I was insecure….seriously….that is until I started reading and my jaw kept dropping to my chest because I realized the root of a lot of my mental gymnastics are rooted in insecurity.

    Who knew?

    Although I see myself in the entire definition of insecurity, the main points of the definition that apply to me are: a deep uncertainty about whether her own feelings and desires are legitimate and self-sabotage.

    I was never allowed to express anger or my feelings as a child. I was always lectured to about how "bad" I was but never built back up to counteract those negatives. When I'm legitimately angered, frustrated, disappointed, sad, etc…instead of dealing with the emotion I talk myself out of feeling that way and shove the emotion deep down inside of my soul where apparently it has festered into a root of insecurity.

    Self-sabotage is my never ending merry-go-ride for weight loss and relationships. Either I disappoint myself or I let people disappoint me.

    Yep…it's all becoming a little too clear Satan…you liar!

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So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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Comments:

  1. 51
    ~Ginger says:

    Ginger
    Hudsonville, MI
    40's
    Married

  2. 52
    GlowinGirl says:

    Marlo, 32
    married in Indiana

    My most prominent false positive -how hard to pick one, so forgive me for two: Beauty/youth and financial security. I don't like the thought of gaining weight, getting wrinkles, etc. or losing the lifestyle we have (not that it's luxurious, but comfortable). So shallow.

    I identify most with either Moses because I can be reluctant to obey and believe and do what I feel God tugging me to do. . . or Saul becuase I fight feelings of jealousy when I see someone so talented and wish I could do THAT — whatever it is. "It is the fear that (the people we're jealous of) have something we don't that makes us most insecure."

  3. 53
    wvquilter says:

    Suzan
    Beckley WV
    40's
    Single

    I praise God that He loves us enough to accept us as we are. But I love Him even more for the changes and growth He loves us through. I'm looking in the mirror as I read this book, but what I see is changing because of His mercy.

    Please join me in praying for everyone reading this book and glorify Him for the life changes!

  4. 54
    GlowinGirl says:

    I forgot the challenge! To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive . . . see His glorious reflection in me and let HIS beauty be upon me!!!!

  5. 55
    Carol B. says:

    I for one am thrilled that the word "insecurity" was in the title as this is exactly what I needed. I couldn't wait for the book to come out so I could start reading and hopefully get some answers and be able to deal with this problem. So thank you Beth for including it in the title.
    Carol
    Newton, KS
    50's and married

  6. 56
    Charlotte says:

    Charlotte
    Clover SC
    56
    Divorced/single

    I think I am a week behind, but:what resonated most: Feeling like something bad is going to happen all the time (and then when it does, well, it's all reinforced) and I'm sure that's because I came from such a unpredictable household.
    2) What gender issue I have most recently encountered: I work in family planning with teens who are having sex at young teen ages — believe me, I try to talk to them about WHY??? There's a term for this: sexual objectification — and what it does to these young women and their sense of identity!
    I thought of your question when I was doing a pelvic on one such patient and she had decorative socks on (of course, I see the feet) with cute designs on them but the words said all over the socks: Love Me.

  7. 57
    Ginny says:

    Ginny
    PA
    50's
    married
    Just got the book am so excited to read it. Have singed up for the simulcast on so long insecurity !!! Prasie you and Bless you and your whole family. they give you to us all the time. Thank them so much for allowing you to be part of our families too.
    Love you Much!!!!!

  8. 58
    Ginny says:

    Ginny
    PA
    50's
    married
    Just got the book am so excited to read it. Have singed up for the simulcast on so long insecurity !!! Prasie you and Bless you and your whole family. they give you to us all the time. Thank them so much for allowing you to be part of our families too.
    Love you Much!!!!!

  9. 59
    Little Steps Of Faith says:

    Okay, I am going to be bold here, I figure if I can be strong enough to share my "stuff" then maybe it will lead others to do the same:

    1. My Prominent False positive I don't know if I can categorize, might be something new to y'all, but one of the things I don't DO anymore, but still have in my thoughts to do at times is cutting. I used to hurt myself to make what others made me think or feel about myself not hurt as much. I guess also trying to feel secure by " power" that people have had over me. It would always do more harm to my well-being then good, control can not make you secure, it can only make you more insecure, because you feel like you can never measure up.

    The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
    " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."

    3. I think a part of my insecurity could be found in all of them, but I think Saul would be one for sure, and I'll admit that.
    I think though when someone else does better, I start to feel not so much just jealousy, but I feel left out. You could hear the " What about me" come out of my thoughts. And I'll be more honest and say I've had that same struggle when it comes to some in siestaville…I'm a work in progress.

    Angie, 29
    single, Georgia

  10. 60
    Courtney (Women Living Well) says:

    Courtney, Canton Ohio 34

    My false positive…to be 10 pounds thinner.

    The challenge: In Him is no darkness at all.

    The person I relate to most in chapter 4 is Moses – I have been blogging for a while…I was on the Rachael Ray show as a guest for my marriage this past November – they stumbled across my blog. Sometimes I feel scared…we have a great marriage – but of course it's not perfect…I fear the what if's. What if it all goes bad with all eyes on me – the enemy would love that!

    And I wonder – how did I get to this place where others are listening to me so much about my marriage? It's scary – and I have told God – I don't want to go if you don't go before me!

    I was thankful when you (Beth) shared at Christmas about your 30 year anniversary and a disagreement you had had with Keith. It made me feel better to see that even after 30 years those fights will come – but when we hold on to Jesus we can ride out the waves. So I say "use me Lord" but I tremble.

    Walk with the King!
    Courtney
    http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com

  11. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Married, 29

    This comment relates to what Beth said about the book's cover. Somehow, I'm OK with people seeing that I'm reading a book about insecurity, but what has made me hide the book in a drawer instead of leaving it laying on my coffee table is the beautiful picture of Beth on the front.

    I absolutely love Beth and consider her my mentor in the faith (from a distance), and I mean no disrespect at all. But honestly, I'm so insecure that I fear my 29-year-old husband will see Beth's picture perfect face and think she's prettier than me. I'm that crazy right now, and yes, I'm reading through the book as fast as I can.

    Given that the topic is insecurity, I wonder if there was a discussion on whether to allow any altering of Beth's photograph for the cover. Maybe Beth is absolutely flawless, but if not, I wonder if thought was given to the fact that it might help women who are insecure in their appearance to pick up the book and see another woman who doesn't look just like a magazine cover.

  12. 62
    Sandra says:

    Sandra
    Knoxville, TN
    40's
    Single

    I am guilty of taking the cover off too! I haven't been able to read many of the posts so I am glad to know I am not the only one. Really struggling with insecurity more than I realized. So much so that I was wondering in my current relationship if when I am trying to be more secure if the issues I have a problem with are still insecurity or if they are real. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone or not. Glad to be on this journey and I know that our God is faithful and He desires for all of us to be secure and He will take us there if we will continue.

  13. 63
    MamaH says:

    Okay, sooooo I realized as I read the blog this am that I am more insecure than I thought. I found myself thinking my feelings must not really matter because she didn't mention my post. You know, mine out of 6,000. So my feelings must not be justified, right? Oh my goodness, I am going back and re-reading Chapters 1 & 2, then pressing on.

    I didn't buy the book where anyone could see me, I bought the e-book for my ipod. 🙂

    I look forward to what God is going to do in my life through this study!!!!

    Mary
    49
    Blissfully married 25 years!!!

  14. 64
    Get Your Martha On says:

    Anne
    Wisconsin
    Married
    30s

    Ha! I took the book jacket off because I didn't want to wreck it (I read every night in the bathtub). I mean, what better way to read a book about insecurity than while you're butt naked? 🙂

  15. 65
    Marla Taviano says:

    Marla
    34
    Columbus, OH
    Married

    1. Can I have 2 false positives? Financial stability and a book contract.

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and open our eyes to the treasure we have in God and His Word.

    3. PAUL. "Belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag." That is me, me, me. U-G-H!

  16. 66
    Ginnie says:

    Ginnie, 44
    single in Florida

    I have to confess that I took the jacket cover off my book as well. I never even thought of it being an insecurity problem that made me take it off, but after searching my heart that is exactly why I took it off. At least I didn't throw it away. Lord give me the strength and courage to put that cover back on. Those that know me already realize I have insecurity problems they don't have to see a jacket cover to a book to know it.

  17. 67
    Anonymous says:

    I need to tell on myself because well I chickened out yesterday. Quickly, last week I ended up in the ER and hospital. I am ok, just asthma problems. While they were doing all sorts of test to figure out the problem I was so scared and crying like there was no tomorrow. Anyway I kept apologizing to the staff for being such a wimp and a bother. To make the obvious even more so I kept apologizing to the nursing staff while I was in the hospital anytime I asked for anything. You know like Tylenol for a very bad headache and water because I was thirsty. I think God wanted me to really get it that I have not really improved in the security area. Argh I am a little embarrassed at the ridiculousness of it all and yet it is a bit funny. God's timing is crazy sometimes. I'm going to leave this anonymously because well I'm just going to. 50ish, married

  18. 68
    Pam says:

    Pam
    Rochester MN
    50's
    Married
    1.My false Positive is the thought that beautiful would make me secure.
    2.The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship!
    3.Saul in that he was in constant terror of loss! Loss of relationship! I ask myself, how do I love well? I have been told that I have put undue pressure on a relationship.(family) I had no idea! It has left me measured and insecure in other relationships, I question everything! Yet, Jesus is calling out to me though this stuck relationship, drawing me to His inexhaustible love. Not by removing the voice of rejection but by letting me hear His more clearly. Oh what mercy!

  19. 69
    Anonymous says:

    Oh, I have to smile. I didn't post my answers to Chap. 1 and 2 because I was afraid to post my tiny town incase someone would figure out it was me!!! Now, am I reading the right book or what!! Let alone take the book out of the house where anyone would see it.
    Promise I'll get strong and post these answers!

  20. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Georgia
    Traverse City, MI
    60's
    Married
    I realized lots of women were insecure when I saw it on your blog sometime ago. Did I think I was the only one??? Yes, I think I may have…..

    Chapter Two….The whole definition somewhat reasonated with me….also a few comments in that chapter "stuck out"….Everyone who is insecure is usually sensitive to a fault. Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form. Do you tend to put a fair amount of pressure on some key relationships? Do you have a few unrealistic expectations? The more easily threatened we are, the more insecure we are.

    Whoa…..I have come a long way in my relationships, but have a "fur" piece to go.
    Blessings

  21. 71
    Tiffany says:

    Tiffany
    Houston, TX
    30's
    Married

    THANK YOU for putting the word Insecurity on the cover. I needed it! Sometimes I live in a world of denial and need to be slapped in the face to wake me up. Prior to picking this book up I would have said, with great confidence I might add, that I was not insecure. In fact I gave my testimony three years ago to a group of women. In it I even shared this:

    We build our lives on many different basics: their abilities, their spouses, performance of their children, their church affiliations or the assurance of money in the bank. Even being thin or popular or having the best house in the neighborhood, but do you notice something about all of these things? All of these things can fade away or be lost or destroyed.

    With this in mind, we need to remember that a foundation built on the Lord Jesus Christ is everlasting. God says in His Word,

    “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never parish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My father who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:27-29, NIV)

    I also came across this scripture (you know the kind you have read over and over before but didn’t sink in with you) that hit me like a ton of bricks.

    Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)
    My hope is that you can walk away today understanding more about the rollercoaster rides, the life changing earthquakes or difficult situations in our lives, and how you might deal with the next one that crosses your path. You have to not only believe in God, but you have to BELIEVE HIM!! He will not forsake you.

    For the last three years God has had me on one of the biggest rollercoaster’s of my life (dealing with breast cancer) and although my ride is not over I would not change one bit of it for the world. I am stronger for it today, and I realize that I do have insecurities, but I am facing them with dignity and grace, plowing through them one (prayer) at a time, never losing sight of the eternal glory that is in store. AMEN!

  22. 72
    Lspearman says:

    Lisa
    Peachtree City, GA
    40's
    married
    1. My false positive is my marriage. This is both of
    our second marriages, and we
    came in with alot of baggage.
    Mine was a very abusive one & his
    one of rejection, so Ms. Insecure
    met Mr. Insecure. Been married 11yrs, but the insecurity issue still
    raises its ugly head!
    2.Jesus is not unhealthy nor codependent.Jesus' strength is made perfect in my weakness. In Him is NO DARKNESS AT ALL.
    3. I relate to Eve!! The wardrobe
    is not the issue, but being ashamed
    to be unclothed! Sexual abuse starting as a teenager, and continuing in my first marriage, makes me feel uncomfortable with my clothes off, not when I'm alone, but with my husband. I don't tell him it does, but inside me I feel so unclean. I want these
    lies to stop and I want to feel
    secure in this area!!!

  23. 73
    Lisa Manns says:

    My most prominent false positive is my weight, especially my hips and boobs. I think to myself that if I could just take some of my hips and give it to my boobs, I'd be a lot more secure.
    And bathing suit shopping would be a lot more enjoyable!!!

    Sarai is who I resonated with most. Not only was she insecure because she couldn't give her man, Abram, what he wanted, but I also think she must not have valued herself very much. If she had, I'm hoping she would've told Abram to hold on to his tassels because barrenness did not mean unworthiness, thus saving Hagar and herself a lot of headaches. My battle with unworthiness spills over into my relationships with my friends, family and my husband, and it ultimately keeps me from the peace and joy I deserve through Christ.

  24. 74
    MMMom says:

    My false positive, somewhat surprisingly to myself, was education. I would have said looks, aging, money. Then I did what Beth suggested, and thought of a person I thought of as secure and what she has that I don't possess. It is an education and a "career". Of course my insecure self tells me if only I had that, then I would be qualified to fulfill my purpose. I don't want to be a person who never fulfills my destiny because of my insecurities.

    The challenge is:
    "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    The statement about Paul, "belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag" really resonated with me. Like him I feel like " the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself". I tell myself "I could do that" and then in the next breath convince myself "there is no way on earth I could do that". I want to reach the point where I can say "By the grace of God I am what I am".

    And now I need to go buy a new hi-lighter!

    Sharon
    San Antonio, Texas
    40's
    Married

  25. 75
    Pam says:

    I have not purchased this book yet but I will do so very soon. I have anxiously waited each day to start reading some posts-what a blessing already to know I am not alone in my insecurities! I pray this book and discussion board will be a blessing to each and every one of us and that we may walk away more secure in all areas of our lives. God bless each and every one of you. P.S. This will be my very first blog!

  26. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Susan, married, 53, Texas:

    My false positive: the worry of being traded in for the younger model- thus, if I just lost those last 10 pounds, had less wrinkles and bigger boobs…

    Identified with Leah. My first husband left me and my baby boy for someone "well endowed" (over 30 years ago, mind you) and it still is an issue with me. Hearing those words of "I don't love you anymore" did more damage to a then 24 year old…

  27. 77
    Bobbie says:

    Bobbie
    50's
    Married
    College Station, TX

    I'm very happy you used Insecurity in the title but happier that you decided to take us on this journey with you to find Security! Thank you!

    My PFP is definitely my weight! I constantly feel that if I were a size 8…I would be happier, my husband would love me more, my son and daughter would be proud of me, I could shop for clothes with my friends and on and on!! Sometimes I think I use my size as an excuse!!

    The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship

    I most identify with Saul and his jealousy. I fight an ugly jealousy of my MIL where my son is concerned. That has caused a lot of sadness and hurt in my life and this is something I really want to say "so long" to.

  28. 78
    Anonymous says:

    I want to look like the flawless picture on the cover.

  29. 79
    Linda says:

    Linda
    Charlotte, VT
    50's Married

    I am a first time blogger and I am insecure about posting this comment. You ladies express yourselves so well. I feel secure in my insecurities; I know what most of them are and I have my coping mechanisms in place.(look up the word cope)My desire is that I will remember this is a journey to healing and I won't fall into a pattern of dwelling on my insecuities. But…right now my unsaved husband is upset with me because of something that snowballed out of my insecurity, and I can't find the root.

  30. 80
    The Coleman Family says:

    Thank you, so much for putting insecurity in the book title. It was just a couple weeks before I saw that there was a book on this subject that God started dealing with me in a serious way about my insecurity. If the title had been different, it may not have caught my eye.

    1) Because my biggest security issue has to do with social situations, my biggest prominent false positive would be, popularity would make me secure.

    2) our challenge is to let our completley secure part of us, take over us until is drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. We need to allow God's truth to eclipse the false positives and see the treasure that we have and that we are.

    3) I relate very much to Moses. So often I would not do something because I didn't think I was good enough to do it.
    Tamara
    Highlands Ranch, CO
    30's
    marries

  31. 81
    theelizabethhighsmith says:

    Elizabeth
    Brooks, GA
    20's
    Single

    I had to take the cover off too, not because I was insecure about the word insecure but because I was insecure about you looking at me while I read. I'm currently doing the Breaking Free revised study and as soon as I got the book I knew "She has to go, she will know that I want juice and that I'm in bondage and insecure!"
    *It's a great picture of you-no insecurity enducing intended by my confessional-comment.

  32. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Karen
    Rockledge, FL
    50's
    Married

    I would have to say that beauty would be my “prominent false positive”…not just beauty, but also the perfect figure. I am insecure with the way I look.

    Jesus in me…He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all.
    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
    God’s truth about us is the answer to those "false positives".

  33. 83
    theelizabethhighsmith says:

    *inducing-
    insecure, in bondage and i can't spell!

  34. 84
    Anonymous says:

    40s
    divorced

    1. Most prominent false positive: to be at goal weight and be toned/fit
    2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
    3. Leah… longing so much to be loved by her husband above anyone and anything else besides God.

  35. 85
    Cyndi Speck says:

    Cyndi
    NC
    50's
    Married

    1. did book entry
    2. My face-to-face gender struggle: Saturday, the facial hair that I have – feeling so less of a woman dealing with it.
    3. what description of insecurity resonated most with me: Self-doubt: as a wife – fear of husband leaving me, since my mom and dad divorced when I was so little. We've been married almost 30 years, but still I am insecure.

  36. 86
    Jo says:

    Jo
    Mattoon, IL
    40's
    Married

    Unfortunately, my false positive has to do with age and weight! I find myself thinking that is I were thinner and younger I could compete in this world where men place such high standards on what makes a woman beautiful. My husband is also 5 years younger than me so sometimes satan sneaks in and whispers that my husband would love me more if I were skinny and young!!

    The Challenge is so simple yet so very difficult at the same time! Allow the confident part of us take over and to allow God's truth to WIPEOUT every falst positive in our lives! I want to glorify Him with the confidence that He has bestowed on me!!

    Sarai is the one I identify with most! I went through 14 years of infertility and it hurt knowing that I could not give hy husband a child but that someone else probably could!

  37. 87
    LovedBackToLife says:

    Rene
    Claremore OK
    40's
    Married

    I really thought I would be sooooo secure when I got my degree (took 25 years) but all it did was make me more insecure because I realize that I just don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (and I’m 44!).

    Challenge: “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.”

    Leah. Ah, Leah. “She’d given up on love. Now she’d just settle for an attachment.” As a teenager I never had a boy ask me out so I settled for being the “mistress” I guess you would call it. Like the woman at the well, I had a ton of male friends but none saw in me anything worth loving. Yea, like a teenage boy knows what love is. Oh, the pain and insecurity that drove into me. Yup, definitely Leah!

  38. 88
    Tara is: says:

    Tara
    Ennis, TX
    27
    Married

    1. My children, definitely. I've always known I hide behind them, (takes the attention off of me) and am way too proud of them, (boastfully so!), but I didn't realize until I searched that I secretly despise people whose children are "cuter" or "smarter" or more "well-behaved" than mine are. I seriously search out their flaws. Wow…

    2. to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and allow my eyes to open to the treasure I HAVE and AM.

    3. Paul, definitely…I have a tendency to think a little too highly of myself, but also put myself down a lot. I don't wear makeup, I don't do my hair, I don't look in the mirror. I'm not sure what that means yet, but I hope to get to the root of it.

  39. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Karlys
    La Place, LA
    50's
    Married
    1. We are going through a financial squeeze right now. Though I would like to believe God has healed me of other false positives, I am beginning to realize that I am insecure over whatever happens to be prominent at the moment. Soon I will attend a high school reunion. I guess aging well will be my next false positive.
    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's Truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will also see the treasure we are.
    3. Certainly, the people you discussed all touched nerves in my own insecurities, but Martha is the one I continue to revisit. She whined to Jesus: "What about her?" — just like John about Peter. Although, I have finally learned to whine to Him, I still look at the women around me… I am insecure.

  40. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Beth
    WNC
    50's
    Still waiting for my copy and then I will join you gladly.
    My fear would would probably be finiacial security. Here is a quote I found that relates to this study as well as another that I am doing:
    Men will allow God to be everywhere except on His throne. They will allow Him to be in His workshop to fashion worlds and make stars. They will allow Him to be in His almonry to dispense His alms and bestow His bounties. They will allow Him to sustain the earth and bear up the pillars thereof, or light the lamps or {sic}Heaven, or rule the waves of the evermoving ocean; but when He ascends His throne, His creatures then gnash their teeth, and we proclaim an enthroned God, and His right to do as He wills with His own, to dispose of His creatures as he thinks well, without consulting them in the matter; then it is that we are hissed and execrated, and then it is that men turn a deaf ear to us, for God on His throne is not the God they love.

    – Charles Spurgeon

    1834 – 1892

  41. 91
    Kathy W says:

    1) Hadn't realized it until lately, but physical fitness/slimness. Have never really had a weight problem, have exercised, try to eat fairly well, and stayed slim/trim. Last 6 months I've had another birthday, begun "peri-menopause," sent youngest to college, etc, and have not only gained weight, but lost tone/strength. Now am more insecure than ever when thin, young, physically fit woman is pointed out to me, or I just see her!
    2)Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive, see and believe the treasure we have and the treasure we are, and to let His beauty be upon us
    3)Paul-I have to "die to self" multiple times daily and,
    "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing."
    Romans 7:19

    Kathy W
    Mansfield, TX
    40's (late)
    Married

  42. 92
    pinkmommy says:

    pinkmommy
    30
    AR
    Married

    1. At this time in my life, my most prominent false positive is the very first one you listed. "A great man would make me secure." I am married. My husband is not horrible. But I can be so critical of him in my head and I'm really bad about comparing him to my friends husbands and thinking of ways he could be better at being married to me. I have got to give him a break and focus on being the wife he needs instead of trying to make him the husband I need. I have got to quit depending on him for my happiness and satisfaction and depend on God alone for everything. It's a daily struggle.

    2. "Yes ma'am" 😉 Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Oh, what a daily prayer to pray!

    3. Rachel and Leah. I thought of them before you ever mentioned them. Bless their hearts! How many times have I done something thinking "Now he will really love me!" or "Now he will really appreciate me."? Bless our hearts!

  43. 93
    Linda says:

    Choosing only one false positive was hard. False positive would be beauty/weight. It's been hard to see the weight I've gained, the wrinkles, the droopy eye lids, the thinning lips and so on and on. How could anyone love me?? Because that's what my self worth is based on??

    He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    I identify with the lady at the well. I've been married, yes I can say it, 4 times. I have been embarrassed to say that when meeting someone and they ask. I hate to say 4 because I think they will think less of me or she couldn't get it together or worse yet she must really have some problems….those poor men. Yes, I have some problems and it stems from my desire to want to please at no matter the cost to me. My self worth is zero when it comes to men. I deserve everything that happens to me. There I've said it again. Wow Insecurity is blaring!! But I know God is healing me and I'm so thankful.
    Linda
    50's
    Tulsa
    divorced (of course)

  44. 94
    Nadine says:

    I'm so frustrated. Anywhere I order the book they tell me a few days after I order that they are very sorry that they can't send it. Argh… I guess I'll discuss with myself when I finally get it on my next trip to the US in 2011… Sorry, had to vent, was very excited about this book.

  45. 95
    Anonymous says:

    I have already added my basic info, but I elect not to identify myself in this post. (I think I may also be a week behind in posting but decided not to let that stop me). Your book has been a 'Godsend' for me, Beth. I cannot pinpoint my false positive(s)because I realize that I am a walking mess and have several! I have always known myself to be insecure but, I have now been able to really recognize it for what it is now and feel as though there is hope for me! I feel you are speaking to ME directly as I read and can so relate that I feel it is a gift from God to help me. You see, I have felt such a mess that I have begun to be insecure that God doesn't love or want me anymore. I have been in Christ since I was a young teen and am now in my early 40's. I am barreling through your book and stop frequently for a good cry and confession before God. I am beginning to see that He does still love me and can still use me! God bless you for writing the book- and Praise God for you and your ministry!

    Married

    40's
    Az

  46. 96
    Sheryl says:

    Sheryl
    PA
    40's (at the very end of that decade!)
    Married

    1. I think my weight and body image are a big false positive, but I also struggle with thinking that a successful career would give me security. I walked away from teaching 9 years ago and have not had a full-time job since. I struggle with not being able to contribute financially to our household and seeing that burden completely on my husband's shoulders. I always feel inferior to women my age who are successful and talk about their work.

    2. My challenge is to let the healthy and secure part of me completely overtake me until it drives, every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I need to walk in God's truth so that every false positive is eclipsed by what I do have and what I really am – His treasure made by His own hands: Sheryl in Christ.

    3. The person from the Word I related most to is Rachel (also the name of my beautiful daughter). What resonated most for me was Beth writing that "nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure." I find it easy to believe that God is the God of the impossible and does amazing things, but sometimes it is tough to believe that He would do those things for ME.

  47. 97
    Miss*Suzanne says:

    Suzie
    47 and married in South Carolina

    Here's something funny…I bought the book, not because of the title but simply because I love Beth's books and I was looking forward to reading anything she wrote. It never occurred to me that I was insecure….seriously….that is until I started reading and my jaw kept dropping to my chest because I realized the root of a lot of my mental gymnastics are rooted in insecurity.

    Who knew?

    Although I see myself in the entire definition of insecurity, the main points of the definition that apply to me are: a deep uncertainty about whether her own feelings and desires are legitimate and self-sabotage.

    I was never allowed to express anger or my feelings as a child. I was always lectured to about how "bad" I was but never built back up to counteract those negatives. When I'm legitimately angered, frustrated, disappointed, sad, etc…instead of dealing with the emotion I talk myself out of feeling that way and shove the emotion deep down inside of my soul where apparently it has festered into a root of insecurity.

    Self-sabotage is my never ending merry-go-ride for weight loss and relationships. Either I disappoint myself or I let people disappoint me.

    Yep…it's all becoming a little too clear Satan…you liar!

  48. 98
    Sharon says:

    This is unrelated to week two's assignment but wanted to say one, how thankful I am to have Beth Moore as my "cyber space mama" and two, how wonderful it is to be part of this 6,000 group of women and know that I'm not going through this process alone…I'm so encouraged by both!

    Sharon,
    Sycamore, GA
    40's
    Married

  49. 99
    AbbyLane says:

    1–no brainer for me: beauty/thinness.
    *i can remember various ways of trying to deal with this-ripping the tags out of my jeans as to "not be defined by a number"..and then the fact that i had done so eating a way at me like some secret that was going to be told to the masses.
    *skipping multiple meals a day and working out after 3 hr practices on the ball field to make sure that stick of gum didn't add an extra eyelash of weight
    *multiple attempts to go down the eating disorder road, only to be rescued by the grace of God in the form of a worship experience that woke me up, or a concerned friend knocking me upside the head with truth

    2–yes mama 😉
    TO LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE, AND COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF US INCREASINGLY OVERTAKE OUR EARTHEN VESSELS UNTIL IT DRIVES OUR EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, AND RELATIONSHIP.

    3–moses. MoSES. MOSES. i have known what i was called to do for a long time and fought insecurity about it since day one. i have taken, to the glory and by the provision of God, some big steps towards that–moving across state lines and away from everything and everyone familiar to where He has called me, and giving up a large scholarship and job opportunity where everything would have been secure and easy. but the move also brought me to a town where everybody-and-their-brother is basically here for the same things that i feel called to do and be a part of–and most of them (in my insecure eyes) have done it longer, do it better, and are way more qualified. my biggest insecurities lie in my looks, and although the actual "job description" is not based on that, it does require me to be in a world of people whose "image" is very important and being in front of people is a large part of it. i have prayed that same prayer "God i know someone else can do this better than me-someone that is trained, and cute and cool, and knows how to put the words together better than i do…"– every bit of confidence i had was left at the state line. but God has continually put people in my life, and blessed me with opportunities that confirm that this is the road He wants me on. and to His undeniable, and scandalously beautiful love and credit, we are doing the thing!!!

    abby lane
    20s
    single
    nashville, tn

  50. 100
    Anonymous says:

    I am going to answer this outside the box a bit – and anonymously. Someone mentioned wanting to move their weight from their hips to their breasts. And then all the women who have insecurities about looks – so here goes.

    My biggest insecurity most of my life was my looks. I was very flat-chested and got made fun of for it. There was a problem with pornography in our marriage and then on top of that I had to have some additional biopsies which left my already flat chest – deformed. So I got implants.

    Here's the deal. God has healed and redeemed every single thing that was an issue from that time! – Praise to Him alone. But I still have the implants and am very insecure about what I will do when the time comes that they have to be removed/replaced. I won't pay that kind of money again and yet I fear my husband won't find me attractive anymore. I know better, but I have the fear and insecurity just the same.

    Maybe I'm the only one – but maybe not.

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