Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
DBK 
Cindy
KY
40's
Married
My most prominent false positive is if I would lose weight everything would be better. Also if we had more money.
The challenge is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
Sarai spoke to me most. God told Abram that Sarai would have a baby, but Sarai had to take things in her own hands and not wait on God. I want to fix things all the time. I want everyone to be happy. I need to pray about things and leave it to God.
~Beauty and Thinness tend to be my two "Prominent False Positives." I struggle with both. I know I am created in God's image but 9 times out of 10 I don't feel beautiful.
~"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
~Hager resonated with me the most because of her jealousy shown towards Sarai. I can get very jealous and down on myself when I'm around women that I think would qualify for being a swimsuit model.
Kaitlyn
Huntington, IN
Teen's
Single
Under a total spiritual attack in the area of insecurity, and beauty. I spent too long looking at old pictures of me for the last ten years. (I don't reccommend this) I told myself how bad I looked and continued to spiral…thankfully, I cried out to God and He brought it to a halt.
I think it's interesting that we are willing to beat down the doors of heaven for one another in prayer. We tell one another in the clearest terms possible that God is for us and loves us, but we can't believe it for ourselves. It goes back to "Jesus loves You", but can we say…"Jesus loves Me." Crazy!
Of course I'm posting anonymous…I'm insecure, but hopefully not for long…
Jenn
Indianapolis
30's Single
1. Prominent false positive – having a man who loves me will make me feel 100% secure.
2. Ch 3 challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessels until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Paul. While thinking having a husband will solve all of my problems is my prominent self positive, I also feel the need to prove my knowledge or abilities in the ministry i lead – especially to the men who i serve under. they have never by word or deed given me any reason to do so – and in fact give me tons of trust – but I still feel like I have something to prove.
40s & Married
1. My prominent false positive is better called a false negative. If I didn't have to live with my abusive, mentally ill Christian husband any more and all the drama of the last 2 decades, I think I'd feel secure. On the contrary, all my closeness to Jesus has come because I've had to draw ever nearer to Him to live through this relationship.
2. Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction & relationship. to let God's truth eclipse our every false positive & see the treasure we have and are in Christ.
3. I relate most to Moses, because I never feel good enough or competent enough. Some of that may be a result of being so discouraged by my husband's emotional abuse, but it was there before I met him and before he became mentally ill. And I worry that if I were to succeed at something, I would have the means to leave him, and I'm not sure that would be God's will for me. I'd really rather God healed my husband and we could have a sweet, loving marriage.
For the record, I love Beth's picture on the cover. The glory of the Lord shines through her face!
Dendy
Hernando, MS
30's
Married
F/P is my weight. I let it control so much of who I believe myself to be. When I was thin I found it hard to believe that anyone loved me for anything other than how I looked… I gained weight when I met my high school sweetheart/now husband partially because another male accused me of being anorexic, and partially because somehow I think I believed if I gained weight he wouldn't love me anymore and want to marry me, and better get rid of him now than when we were married for five years and he decide he was tired of me…. I know. Pathetic! The next couple of chapters describe almost every event in my life that has caused me to feel this insecure. I now find myself a wife and mother and have no idea how to fit time in for me to exercise to loose the weight, yet know that as long as I'm overweight I consider myself utterly useless and worthless to anyone. I am extremely sensitive and I worry about what everyone else feels and thinks.. about everything! My husband has endured 11+ years of my insecurities and many times I feel sorry for him for having to go thru all of this with such a crazy wife. I like Beth can so identify with wanting to get well for my children. My son being born propelled me into a quest for wholeness. I do not want to pass these sicknesses onto him or my unborn baby. I love them too much.
The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
I can identify with several… Jealousy in Saul, and inadequacy in Moses. I am jealous when I see someone who doesn't let fear drive them to hide what they are good at and I feel terribly inadequate most of the time in almost everything. People tell me I'm talented and crafty, but there's always someone I perceive that does it better than me.
Just for a laugh.. I rushed straight to the Lifeway the day this book went on sale, went up to the big book display, picked my book up, marched up to the counter and bought my book proudly, telling the cashier about this blog and what we were about to do. I signed up then chickened out posting the first time because everyone's posts were so good, I couldn't think of anything worthy to say. So long, insecurity, you've been a bad, bad, friend.
Nichole
Marion, IA
30's
1. My weight–hands down. I have NEVER been okay with how I looked even when I looked better than I do today. It makes me sad to look back at pictures from my childhood and beyond knowing that I never felt beautiful.
3. Sarai. Given the same situation in that culture I probably would have done the same stupid thing. Taking matters into my own hands is not such a foreign idea. What struck me this time reading that story (forgive me in advance) was that they were so old and for the first time I pictured Sarai sending Hagar (who was probably MUCH younger than this couple) to Abraham. Can you say, "gross"? Maybe that's just ONE of the reasons she was so mad. I'm just sayin'…
1. My false positive: the perfect body will solve all problems in life!
2. Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship!"
3. I most identify with Moses. I'm often asking God, "Are you sure you want ME to do that? Wouldn't someone else be better suited? etc. etc."
The short time I've been in this book has been so gratifying! I'm not a "freak of nature" for dealing with issues of insecurity! Woohoo!
Lisa
Houlton, Maine
30s
Married nearly a decade!
Martha
Asheville, NC
20s, married
1. My most prominent false positive is weight/beauty. Does it automatically follow that God will frustrate our false positives to prove to us that our security doesn't lie in them?
2. My challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of [me] increasingly overtake [my] earthen vessel until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Although I resonate with each of them, surprisingly I resonated most with Moses. I am so afraid to go outside of my comfort zone with God. I feel like I am so insecure about being in any kind of leadership position that I try to avoid putting myself out there and stick with safe jobs. Something that is easy where I can "hide". I somehow need to get to the place where my fear of God exceeds my fear of personal failure or looking stupid. Where my fear of missing my destiny exceeds my fear of walking toward it. God help me!
I want so much to turn out like Paul, to be one resolutely unwilling to let my "weaknesses, feelings and fears override my faith. To die daily to that part of myself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the work of God in me and through me." I want to believe wholeheartedly that though I may be stumbling and mummbling like Moses, my God is mighty and His greatness is on full display in my weakness and inability. It means sticking my neck out there when He says to.
May I be ever more afraid to say no to Him and miss out on what He has for me!
Patti
Ohio
50's
Married
1) "Prominent False Positive" – Way too many to list. I can beat myself to death with "what if" and "if only". It's best if I don't even go there.
2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. (Psalm 90:17)
3)"And the LORD said, "Yes,he has hidden himself among the baggage." (Saul) I wrote in the margin of my book "That's me!! Always hiding in my baggage!
However, I had already resolved this year to let the Lord heal me like never before, and I know that there is no security to be found anywhere or in anything but in Christ alone.
Shannon
Brimfield, IL
30's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive is being thin. It has been haunting me since I was in the third grade and I am ready to get rid of it for good.
2. The challenge is to let the completely whole and secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I identified with Paul most because of his struggle with ego and pride. I am ridiculous with the things in which I take pride and am my own worst enemy in achieving my destiny. I want to be unwilling to let my weaknesses, feelings, and fears override my faith.
Julie
30's
Granbury, TX
Single
1)PFP – finding a career that somehow makes a difference in the world. And of course, finding that man that would make a difference in MY world.
2)To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3)This statement concerning Saul really hit home: "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." That is me all the way. Lord, please, please deliver me from this insecurity!!!
Janet
50's
married
Livonia, MI
My main prominent false positive would be financial security. Neither my husband or I will have a pension with our jobs. We are raising our granddaugher, and have lots of extra expenses and responsibilities.
My next would be insecurities when I am with highly educated people since I don't see intelligence as a strong suit.
The question, "Why are we afraid of being displaced?" hit me. That thought scares me because I think we may lose our home at some point down the road.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
Probably if I were thin or prettier, I would feel more secure, but then I see other women who are larger than I am, or not what I consider pretty, and they give off the appearance of being secure, so then I think that I just need to accept myself as I am.
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don't care how many times you've seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That's your mama talking.)
When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, then in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure that we are.
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
Probably the woman at the well, because her track record with men seems similar to mine.
Oops! Sorry, forgot to include the personal info!
Linda, from Chicago, 40s and single.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
Probably if I were thin or prettier, I would feel more secure, but then I see other women who are larger than I am, or not what I consider pretty, and they give off the appearance of being secure, so then I think that I just need to accept myself as I am.
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don't care how many times you've seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That's your mama talking.)
When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, then in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure that we are.
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
Probably the woman at the well, because her track record with men seems similar to mine.
lisa
30's
married
1)for me, my most prominent false positive has changed throughout my life but it has always had to do with what other people thought of me. when i was single, it was dating someone. when it was dating, it was marriage. now that it's marriage, it's having children. now that i'm pregnant and due soon, it's another child .. or a house .. or friends .. or not looking in my 30's … or looking more fashionable. let's not even think about post baby time and losing weight and trying on my old clothes!!! or gosh, being a mom!! not sure how you define that as a specific false positive but that's me!
2) when we allow God's truth to eclipse EVERY false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in HIS glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3) i identify most with sarai and her jealousy. i think that's the ugliest feeling to recognize in myself and i see it all the time as i compare myself with others and either think i'm less than them or that i think i'm clearly so much better than them. yuck … i can't believe i think that way as often as i do.
Karen, 50's, divorced
1. my prominent false positive: weight
2. Challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord will be upon us.
3. Sarai – nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling that she can't give her guy what he wants….ultimately: KNOWING THAT I AM NOT ENOUGH.
Q.1. What is my Prominent False Positive? At different times in my life it has been my looks and my weight. But I think my MOST Prominent False Positive is: If I was a "good" mother,if I could just get it right…then I would be secure. For the past 20 yrs my entire self worth has been wrapped up in my son.
Q.2. What is the challenge? When we allow God's truth to eclipse EVERY false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. I want to see myself as God's treasure.
Q.3. What biblical figure resonated with me? I would say that I most identified with Sarai. She was waiting on God to fulfill His promise to her for a son. But as time past and things didn't look like it was going to happen…she felt the need to "help" God fulfill His promise to her. I find myself there so many times, waiting, waiting, waiting on God….and I start to think He might need my help.
Sherrie
45
Married
Martinsville, VA
Meredith Sloan
Greer, SC
39
married
1.My “Prominent False Positive” is that if I had an outgoing personality (the never meet a stranger funny type) I would have it all. I look at others with this and want so much to be like them.
2."To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship." I have to add this…the part just after the challenge that says "…and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. "Tears streamed down my face as I read this part. I’ve always been envious of my #1 pfp (above) and questioned God, "Why can’t I be like that…they are so much fun!" I have to realize my soft spoken, timid ways are truly a treasure…this is the way God made ME!
3. I definitely can connect with Moses. "O Lord, please send someone else to do it" That’s me!!
Michelle
OKC
Single
20s
1- My prominent false positive is my future. Of course you can’t know the future, but I would venture to say that not knowing the future causes me the most insecurity. I think about the “what ifs”, the “what abouts” and it can start to eat me alive. The one thing that would make me more secure in all things, as you defined it, would be knowing the future. Which just goes to show my lack of trust in the Lord in providing for me and loving me.
2-The challenge: to let the healthy, whole, secure part of us overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3- I relate most with Moses. How often do we beg God to do it another way, send someone else, or give us a way out! And to think that we are getting in the way of our destiny is a huge fear of mine. I know that God has great purposes and plans, I just pray that obedience and trust conquer fear and questioning when God asks me to move.
Pam, 50ish
married in San Diego
So many choices, and I've hung on to all of them at one time or another, but currently it seems to be a sense of recognition, some unmet needs for affirmation from the past. The challenge at the end of chapter 3 is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and to let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have to see the treasure we are…wow, those are powerful words. (I feel the need to put that in my spiral of Scripture memory verses!!) The character from the Bible I seem to most identify with is Moses. funny, how he saw God do some amazing miracles, but his sense of inadequacy got in the way. I seem to have a short memory of what God can do, like Moses.
Julie
Virginia
30s
married
1. thin and dressed cute
2. " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. Rachael and Leah – because they were competing for someone's attention. I think my sister and I have competed for my parent's attention all our lives.
To Anonymous at 12:51 – I'm actually doing this study both online and with a group of women that I know personally (we meet once a week to discuss the questions and pray together~ it's been awesome!!!). We have a girl in our group who is 15 and doing the study. How exciting is that?? We all commented with goosebumps about how excited we were for her to be going through this right now, and how much better off we all would have been if we had been given the same opportunity at her age. In reading a bunch of these comments, I've also seen women who have responded in their 60's. So from teens to 60's, that's a pretty awesome range!! 🙂
First of all, I wonder how many of us have done what I just did…read through alot of the comments to make sure we weren't the only one with our prominent false positive!
I have struggled with how to word mine…but I think it is best described as just confidence. If I were truly confident in myself and my abilities and my appearance, etc. etc. etc., then all would be okay with everything else.
The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." Now that is one big challenge – but praise His name…we have a BIG God!!!
Saul is who resonated the most with me – "the need to be considered the greatest" is something I fight with all the time. I have such a hard time letting someone else have control of a situation because, not only do I want it done right, but I want the praise for it when it is! (Ouch – how's that for honesty!) Seeing that in writing makes me look/feel pretty selfish, huh? Guess that's one of many reasons why I am reading this book!
Thanks, Beth!
Tammy
Clarksville, TN
30s
married
Because of Bible Study being cancelled due to weather, this gives me the much needed time that I needed to finally answer week two. Although, I have to admit I've been worried about answering the following questions right. I even told my husband I hope I answer them correctly. I have even wrote them down on an index card to make sure I remember what you have asked.
1. My most prominent false positive would be perfection – fear of failure,WORRYING and what others think, which is obvious by my previous comment.
2. Our challenge: To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have there in HIS glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are! Whoa…this just hit me! I don't know why it hadn't before.
3. Biblical figure would be Moses. For the life of me I have always thought, I can't possibly be the one God would use in a big way.
Tina
40's
Married
Christy
30's
married
Summit, MS
I struggle so much with worrying about what others think of me, I want everyone to like me. I decided that my false positive is having a great body and an emaculately clean yard and house that is very organized. I related to so many things you said Beth. Especially when you talked about wanting Keith to say he was the luckiest man in the world. I desire to hear words like that from my man as well. I saw so much of myself in this, always wanting to be told by him how much he adores me, some kind of affirmation, more than just "I love you". I am insecure in more ways than I realized & am praying for healing from it.
I want God to let the healthy, utterly whole, & completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, & relationship.
As far as the biblical figure goes, I guess Moses, I have always felt inadequate in so many areas. I have never thought I was "good enough", never "smart enough". It has haunted me and given me a complex about being a leader. "I'll never be as good as she is at that", those words run deeply in my spirit. Lord, please allow each of us to see ourselves the way you do, a willing vessel ready to be used by you.
God bless you Beth and your ministry. God is using you to speak to my heart. I would love one day to hug your sweet little neck because you are so precious to me. I adore the way you love our GOD-He alone is worthy!! To Him be all the glory!!
Love ya!
Christy
Marge, 50's, Married, Chili,WI
1.My Prominent False Positive-to have children who walk with the Lord and make good choices.
2.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. (Psalm 90:17)
3.The Biblical figure in Chapter 4who resonates with me the most would have to be Moses. I can really relate to "But Moses said, 'O Lord, please send someone else to do it'". That would be me-although I have to say, I am gaining confidence and saying that a lot less these days.
PS I bought 2 more books-my girlfriend and I were sharing one-now we don't have to and I bought one for our church library. I want every woman in our church family to have this to read!
Sabrina
Lincoln NE
50s
married
Prominent false positive: prestige would make me more secure
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and complete secure part of us incresingly overtake our earthen vessel until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Saul: "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken away from them." It resonates with me because I want to be in control and not let God have all the control, I hold on too tight to people I love instead of remembering that God loves them more than I do and his best for them is more than I wrap my mind around.
Janie
Fort Payne, AL
46
Divorced
1. My"Prominent False Positive"? If I wasn't divorced and still had a family that was together people would accept me more and I would be included in more church activities and be invite to all those fun activities that families and couples do together. And not just hear about them in Sunday school feeling out of place because I wasn't included.
2. The challenge:To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The statement that resonated with me was that statment you made about Rachel. That nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure. That's me. I know God can do anything and I fully believe that He can. I know He loves me but not as much as those who seem to have lived better. The thing is most of the time I don't think he wants to do those things for me. Why would He I've been such a screw up.
Barbara, 50's
California
married
It was hard to choose a false positive since I have so many, but my main one is financial security; the next is all the 'what if? thoughts & doubts' that cloud my mind that never happen 🙁
The challenge (which I highlighted before I knew you wanted us to write it): To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our EVERY emotion, reaction & relationship. AMEN–may it be so Lord! I loved how you reminded us that Jesus resides in us believers, He is not codependent & in Him there is NO darkness!
The Biblical figure that most resonated with me was Paul..the dizzying psychological zigzag of pride and belittlement. I want to learn to not allow my weaknesses, feelings, & especially my fears override my faith-to allow God to work in and through me for His kingdom.
Regina
Moberly, MO
30s
Married
1. You know, I was reading along, looking at the false positives, thinking "I'd never think that was the key." or "I've got that, so I know it's not the answer." Then I saw "Not even a long-awaited child, as dear as he or she would be." Bullseye. I'm 13+ years married, and have been off BC for 4 years (and not all that careful when I was on it). I was pregnant late last year and miscarried. I've watched my sister throw away two children (one abortion, one RU486) before she was ever married and now our parents totally fawn over a third conceived with her now-husband while she was in the midst of divorce from the first. Is it at all surprising that I have hung my identity on this? I know intellectually that it sounds ridiculous, but… no one said insecurity is logical.
2. To let God's truth and our security in Christ, which is utterly TRUE overwhelm all our false positives so we see only His image of us as dear and beloved children.
3. Unsurprisingly, if you read my #1, I identify with Rachel so much. I know I have my husband's love–he's perfectly happy with our two adorable mutts and doesn't feel the DRIVE for kiddos that I do. It's my parents' approval that I guess I'm chasing after. My head knows they love me too, but my heart can't manage to leave "too" out of the sentence. (If you didn't "hear" the tone of "as an afterthought" there… go back and read it again.)
And for all the ladies hiding their book covers– am I any better? I ordered mine for my Kindle–so all anyone sees is my black leather case.
I'd like to think it was b/c I was on a business trip and didn't want to a) miss a day, or b) have to find the nearest Barnes & Noble… but part of me has to admit, it makes it easy to "hide" what I'm reading.
Regina
Moberly, MO
30's married
Layne
22
Married
Shelbyville, TN
I tried posting last night, but I don't think it went through so sorry if this is a repost. 🙂
1. I think that my most prominent false positive is having the approval of others. I find myself thinking that if I feel like everyone likes me and no one has a problem with me then I will be secure.
2.
3. I can relate to Moses and those times of questioning why God would choose me to be part of His work. However I am encouraged by Paul and the fact that God is faithful and His plans are so much bigger than ours! It is encouraging to know that God uses us inspite of us! 🙂 "Human flesh and blood have no weakness so strong that God's strength is made weak." I love that! 🙂
Also, I feel like since I began reading this book I am so much more aware of my insecurities and the insecurities of others that cross my path – not only the insecurity they deal with, but the effects of the insecurity. I have to admit I was frustrated when I started to think about it. How have we allowed insecurity to dominate our culture, more importantly our churches? I was reading a book the other day and the author wrote "Christians are fearless." That statement caught me off-guard because I don't see that in my life on a consistent basis. But then I was reminded of 2Timothy 1:7 – "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." I love how God is using the truth of that verse to remind me that insecurity has to go!
I saw insecurity in my classroom today and it absolutely broke my heart! One of my students is really struggling right now in reading. She knows the words, her dad knows she knows the words, but she has so little confidence in herself that she constantly looks to me for answers and looses her train of thought. She and her dad left and it hit me, that blatant picture of insecurity in a 7year old! But isn't it just like God to remind me that that is how he and I interact sometimes! He knows the plans He has for me, He will give me what i need to accomplish those plans as long as I trust Him and follow after Him, but I just can't see how I can do it! I get frustrated with myself and those around me and I just do enough to get by, never truly experiencing what He has for me!
I am sorry that was such a long post but God has just laid it on my heart! I am so challenged and encouraged by this experience! 🙂
Melissa
Fresno, CA
30's
married
I think my PFP is ORGANIZATION! It's what I can't stand most about myself and what I try the hardest to try to fix over and over and over (and over.) BUT I also know that the most organized women I know are NOT all secure. I'm starting to wonder (honesty here) if ANYBODY I know is actually secure most of the time.
MY CHALLENGE: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship… To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, so in His glorious reflection I will see the treasure that I am.
I think I most relate right now to Paul. Insane combination of pride and insecurity. I was actually a bit relieved to see him on the list, because I think I had sort of mistaken him for Jesus and forgot he wasn't perfect either. : )
1. Prominent false positive: If I were married I'd be secure.
2. Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I identified most with both sets of women, but more than that, the concept of insecurity from a perceived threat. As someone who is currently trying to heal from infidelity I can certainly relate to a threat – perceived or real.
Tiffany
Lakeland, FL
20's
Single
OOOH! Mama Beth, I almost forgot to tell you (and all y'all too…)
A couple of weeks ago (as I was just getting rolling with SLI), my husband and I took a night off (I called the choir director that I'd be skipping practice) and we went out to eat. Beth, we were gonna have Mexican but they were P A C K E D — so we went to this little place that does burgers and bar food and sat and TALKED. So, I was talking about starting this book and how I really was trying to deal with my insecurities, and that I was recognizing the edge of one of my "blue" periods. (I've been through clinical depression and was on the edge of it once again, begging God to break those destructive cycles of thought.)
So, I'm talking about SLI so far (I was probably around chs. 3 & 4), and the plans some of us girls are making to go to a simulcast site 20 miles north of us… and stopped and said I really love LPM because you, Beth, so hit my buttons. I'm a word-girl, quite literally — my degrees are in English, with specializations in linguistics and Old English (now there's useful for you! NOT). Anywho–my DH said the sweetest thing:
"I haven't read any of her (Beth's) stuff myself, but… she must be really in the Word, because I like who you are when you're studying with her than who you were before." Maybe that sounds harsh, but… it was such a salve, really. God is changing who I am, and Beth, you are a tool in The Potter's hand, shaping me.
Bless you, darling!
(Oh, and to the woman with the pee-issue… I don't mind the tinkle, but I have a hard time defecating in public places because I'm afraid of a splash!)
Y'all — bear with me.
Kerry
30s
Happily Married
Monument, CO
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
I’m really struggling with labeling my primary prominent false positive. I feel like there are so many areas I face insecurity, but I think I try to find my security by keeping myself busy doing things I believe are of value to others. I find myself volunteering for anything and everything, maybe to find my own value and security, longing for others to value and appreciate me. Right now, I’m really wrestling with the desire to have godly discernment and wisdom, and I find that character trait very appealing in those who have it, so based off the description at the top of page 37 that could very well be my prominent false positive. If I acquired that ability, I wouldn’t feel as insecure.
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don't care how many times you've seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That's your mama talking.)
Quote from page 43: “To let healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are and the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.”
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
For me, Moses resonated with me most. During the past few months, I have often asked God, “Why me? Can you please use someone else to do this task?” I have also found in my insecurity that I also tend to end up dragging a few other people into it with me, unfortunately. I love that God says, “I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Boy, do I need that in my life! There are so many situations where I just need to hear His still, small voice whisper to me what I am to say or do next. Specifically, in situations with a friend of mine whose husband is not a believer and whose daughter is struggling with purity in a relationship, as well as her relationship with Christ. I feel insecure in my responses, so I do my best to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit, but oftentimes, feel as though I fall flat on my face.
Lisa V. age 37 Married
Washington, NJ
1) I’ve discovered I have two prominent false positives. I often hold to the idea that financial success will make me secure. I’m in a financial mess right now. I’ve needed to remind myself a lot lately when I found my anxiety was becoming too much that this situation doesn’t define me and shouldn’t stand in the way to success and growth in other areas of my life. I’ve allowed shame a foothold in my life.
My other prominent false positive is the belief that getting reassured of my ability and being recognized at work will give me security about my intelligence and ability. It’s a temporary high because I sooner than later, come across other issues within my day to day job that plummet me into thoughts of inability and feeling like a fraud.
2) The challenge stated in Chapter 3 is to allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive in me and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, and then there is His glorious reflection I’ll also see the treasure I am.
3) Your commentary on Paul resonated with me the most especially when you said “Like us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself.” Daily it seems I trip up. And no one else is responsible for those actions but me. I make my choices. But I have to remind myself daily that I have a Forgiver. I fall but He will pick me up. I have to get out of my own way and let God.
Helen 58
Married
Lodi, CA
Oops I forgot to write the entire challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I can hardly wait! If only I can find a secure part of me somewhere…I know it is there
Helen
58
Married (2nd time)
Lodi, CA
Just one more thing, I also struggle with not being in control. I am a type A personality and just as Sarai wanted to believe God, so do I, and just like Sarai, I take things into my own hands instead of waiting on the Lord. And when that happens, disaster follows…all I can say is Praise God for you Beth Moore and Praise God for your books and Bible Studies. Oh, and one more thing, ladies, my husband is 12 1/2 years younger than me, and yes, I am petite, but now 30 pounds overweight…talk about insecurities and jealousies…oh Lord, please let me listen to YOU and not the enemy. God Bless all of us as we walk down the path of "So Long, Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us"…Amen and Amen
1. I think mine would be popularity. I've never wanted to be one of the "popular" people, but the definition seems to fit me. A lot of my insecurity comes from friends leaving me after a few years, usually without giving me a reason, as well as being seemingly invisible around more popular people.
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion,reaction, and relationship."
3. I resonated most with Moses. God has totally changed the direction I thought my life was going in recently, and i feel so inadequate for what He is calling me to do. I've really felt this huge spiritual battle going on in my life as God has been trying to free me from insecurity. I know there is a lot at stake. I am determined to do everything I can to help God cure me of insecurity; the last thing I want to do is forfeit the incredible destiny He has planned for me to the Enemy.
Elizabeth
Escalon, CA
20's
Single
Tara
Philippines
30's
Married
Boo-hoo! My book still hasn't arrived. 🙁
Tracy
Macon, GA
30s
Married
PFP-Financial security.
Challenge-In our weakness He is made strong. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake us until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I identify most with Moses. I pray to know God's will and listen for His voice. Then, when I feel He is directing me-I don't feel adequate for the job!
Tina
Galloway, OH
40's
Married
My most prominent false positive is feeling like I have to show others that I have it all together so that they'll think I'm a strong person, when under the surface I sometimes feel like my life is falling apart.
The challenge "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I most identify with Moses, I am very insecure about my own abilities. God has blessed me with the ability to do many things, but I always worry what others think of the things I do and that I won't measure up.
Karrie
Indiana
30's
married
One of my most prominent false positives is related to my personality. I tell myself that if I was only more outgoing instead of more of an introvert I would be more secure and overall happier. The thing is….I could be more outgoing but my general insecurities tend to hold me back at times.
Our challenge is to "let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship….allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll see the treasure we ARE". oh, what a glorious thought…
I most resonated with Moses. Too often I allow self-doubt to get in the way of what God is calling me to do.
Ok Siestas Ville here it goes I am shaking all over !I have almost read the whole book I am a person who needs to read the whole book then go back through the book piece by piece I don’t ever have to write and auto biography because this book is it. This book tells my whole life. Satan has had on me since I was little I have dream of my insecurities to leave me they control my while life I hate it. I do dump things that I can’t take back it consumer every each of me. I hate being this person, for the first time in my life I am letting it out I am such a insecurity women, I honestly don’t know how much more my husband can take from my insecurity . The most things I am scared of are being the Godly women God wants me to be. I am afraid that I won’t be good enough nor be loved nor know how to be a new person. .. I am scared of the changes that God can do or that I will not let God him help to take this hold off me or at least give me the strength to live as a security woman. I have never laid this out like this before, been this honest about my insecurity. I cannot stop shaking as I type I am telling on myself to all of you and God. I ask for all the prayers in the world to help me finally let go of my inserturiy and learn how to not let them control my life and be the person God wants me to be..I will pray for all of you that God show you the way…Beth I am so encouraged by you your bible studies ,all of them have help me grow in Christ more then I could ever tell you..If there is more I can do to be heal from this please tell me because I can use all the help I can get in this area. If I don’t post this now I will never and Satan will win again…I am tired of being this scared women I wanted to be heal feel the change that God wants , for all my love ones to see that God has took my insecurity away for good. Thank you so much for being the women that you are being one of God teacher. God Bless
Sharon 40
Clinton, NY
Jariza,
33
Alburtis, Pa
Married
My most prominent positive by far is weight and measuring myself by the standard of how I look in comparison to the other women around me. I hate even admitting that=( But there is freedom in confession, so freedom here I come=)
1. Prominent false positive has to do with watching those productive folks who seem to be born with a high energy level, like the exercise pioneer mentioned here:
"If I felt like Jack LaLane"
(w/ apologies to the Scarecrow)
I would decorate much smarter
My teeth would have no tarter
If I felt like Jack LaLane
I would shop 5 sizes smaller
Cut my hair, look much taller
If I felt like Jack LaLane
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Saul—it's not like he auditioned for American Idol—(just the opposite–he was hiding among the baggage). Wonder what he would have done with his life, left to his natural bent.
Bertie
50's
Married
Houston, Tx.
1. I think it's what others think about me. No, it's what I FEEL others think about me. I feel like people don't have my best interest or care about me. They don't like my personality probably. I feel invisible most of the time. So whatever label that is. It's reinforced by my "in the limelight" husband who tells me what people think of me.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have…
3. When Jacob answered Rachel and she basically took away that "God doesn't like yo as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure". With that said, I would say Saul, bc I seem to get compared a lot (and do it myself even worse) and it's like God lets me see someone better all the time.
Debbie
50 – Barely
Married
B'ham, AL