So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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1,230 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week Two!”

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  1. 751
    Angie says:

    Angie
    Nixa, MO
    40 and married

    Wow… my false positive(s)… to choose just one.. but I chose the predominant one. That would be my overall look, weight, hair, skin, figure, nails… you name it… I stress about it. I'm what you call the "average" size… where's Marilyn Monroe when you need her, right? Society places so much stress on being super thin, flawless skin and being as "perfect" as possible. I need to be able to view myself as God view me…beautiful in His eyes. I have to stop comparing myself with others.

    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely cure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truch to eclipse ever false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord will be upon us.

    I can identify with Moses… I have found myself in the past saying, "God, are you kidding me… I can't do that".. I feel so inadequate. Learning to use the gifts that God gave me.. rather than wishing they were better would behoove me, wouldn't it girls!

  2. 752
    Angie says:

    To anonymous about the "woman at the well"… I too have had that feeling, having been married more than once, and made many bad choices.

    What I had to stop and realize… is Jesus saw something in that ladies heart… a longing and a healing needed.. and He offered it and she accepted. We all have sin in our closets… some more public than others. But, God forgives, God loves, and God welcomes us to cling to Him.

    I imagine you are being harder on yourself than the Lord God Almighty… see He's already forgiven…. now.. the trick is to forgive yourself!

    Peace and blessings to you!

    Angie

  3. 753
    April says:

    April
    last day to say 20's
    GA
    married

    First of all, I think it is so interesting how God is using this time surrounding my 30th birthday to make me deal with some areas that I needed to work on. I always assumed that as you age, things would fall into place and you'd somehow be a secure person. I'm now realizing that unless I work out these issues I will still have them at 75!

    1. A PROMINENT false positive? ALL OF THEM! However, at this season in my life, 3 really stand out. Close friendships. I have lived here for about 3 years and still have no local "best" friends. I know plenty of people, but none I can call up at any time. Another one is financial security. Since moving my husband's job pays less and we have more expenses. We live in a small home and I feel like everyone has a bigger house, more money, nicer things, etc. And lastly, a good figure. I'm within normal weight range, but I've had 2 kids and I'm flabby in the stomach. I'm constantly comparing my stomach/love handles with others. However, after my first child I lost quite a bit of weight and was about 15 lbs. lighter than now and I STILL didn't feel good about my body!

    2. Challenge (in my words): To see myself the way Christ sees me, to allow Christ's truth to overpower, overtake, and completely blot out my insecurity!

    3. Not quite sure which Biblical character I resonate with most, but maybe Moses. I want to be used of God, but often feel inadequate. Shouldn't some smarter, holier, wiser, etc. be the one He uses? What if I fail?

  4. 754
    Debbie B says:

    I am reading the book now – on chapter 5 – and I have chapter 3 discussion questions but I'd love to catch up. Can I get the discussion questions for chapters 1 and 2?

  5. 755
    Jenn says:

    Jennifer
    20's
    married
    Florida

    1.AT the core my PFP is popularity and prestige- everyone liking or looking up to me.
    However ever since my husband's affair I would have to say it lies in having a great man/good marraige.

    2. Challenge: Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive so that the healthy, whole, and completely secure part of us will drive every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. I guess for obvious reasons Sarai and Hagar resonated with me the most (although I DID NOT give my husband permission to sleep with another woman!) But definately the feelings of not being good (etc) enough. And just the complete destruction of a person (me)because the one person I gave/trusted my whole self to gave what was meant for only me to someone else. We were one, "glued" together if you will, and he ripped himself apart from me and basically became one with her. And now its like she is walking around with a little piece of me. And I'm lost, just trying to carry on and make my way wondering, "Where have i gone?" "How did I get HERE?" I realize that this gives her more power than I should allow or even than she has. However, this is where I'm at in my lowest of moments. Totally THREATENED, totally defeated.
    I know God hears me, I know He holds me, I know He carries me….Thank you Lord for all of this and please forgive me for the times I push away and say You are not enough.

  6. 756
    Buldamari says:

    Springfield, MO
    20's
    Married

    1) Body image or not being perfect that is my most prominent false positive by far. With weight I felt I could not reach the goal I wanted, (which is out of control) Then feel like I am a complete failure and fall into self-injury. It turned into anything I was not perfect at. The failure is so intolerable and I get so angry at myself that I self-injure, which helps for a little while but then that just makes everything worse, the body image worsen because of the scars that are left.

    2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3) Moses resonated with me the most hands down.

  7. 757
    Buldamari says:

    Springfield, MO
    20's
    Married

    1) Body image or not being perfect that is my most prominent false positive by far. With weight I felt I could not reach the goal I wanted, (which is out of control) Then feel like I am a complete failure and fall into self-injury. It turned into anything I was not perfect at. The failure is so intolerable and I get so angry at myself that I self-injure, which helps for a little while but then that just makes everything worse, the body image worsen because of the scars that are left.

    2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3) Moses resonated with me the most hands down.

  8. 758
    Debbie B says:

    Wow – this is so hard. I can identify with one who said she had too many false positives to list in this space! Getting down to it though, I know for sure one area would be my body/looks – always have thought of myself as overweight and not pretty. So I think if I had the perfect body and the looks things would be better! So shallow I know.

    The challenge is to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes be open to the treasures we have." As we get to know him and get closer and closer, spending more and more time with him, we will begin to see ourselves through HIS eyes as the treasure that we truly are!

    The Biblical figure that really stuck out to me and that I could identify with would be Leah and Rachel. Here Jacob loved Rachel more but Leah was the one who was giving him what he wanted! "Nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure>" We can always look at others and see how they are prospering when we know we could do the same thing and maybe even better!!! Hence the insecurity! We can't just be joyful for them that they are moving up we have to be envious about it. I am so sorry God – please forgive me for these feelings.

  9. 759
    Cheryl Barker says:

    Cheryl
    50s
    Married
    Coffeyville, KS

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. I probably most identify with Paul and these phrases about him: "the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself"
    and "belittling and boasting in himself". I, too, am a complex "mound" like him. I fight the inner man. Out of the blue, pride will rear its head (when that's the last thing I want), but I'm also insecure at the same time. The pride itself makes me feel sinful and bad that it's comes up and then I think that makes me feel even somewhat insecure before God — even though I know my security with Him is not based on my performance or "perfection". But the performance battle is one I've fought my entire life…

  10. 760
    Debbie B says:

    I forgot the basic info I was supposed to leave each time we posted so I will do it now…
    Debbie, early 50's, married in Acworth, GA.

  11. 761
    Gayle @ thewestiecrew says:

    Gayle
    Birmingham, AL
    30's
    Married

    1. My PFP is financial security. I somehow have it in my mind that more money will fix everything. I know better… 🙁 People who "have it all" are rarely any happier than I am already. I'm one blessed girl even without a big bank account.

    2. To let the secure part of us take over every area of life. To let God's truth overrule my false positives, and to realize the treasures that I have already. And the treasure that I am to Him.

    3. Peter… even though I don't remember him being mentioned. I *get* that dude. 🙂

  12. 762
    Diane says:

    Diane
    Albany, GA
    married
    40's

    1. False positive: I could find what I've been missing, if I could lose what I've been finding….pounds! ARGH!

    2.Challenge: "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    3. Moses is the guy…..excuses, excuses, excuses. I always carry a spare. Never know when God will want to ask something difficult of me. But in those moments where I see my fear for what it is, and trust God in obedience-Oh my, the blessing!

  13. 763
    rsgreen83 says:

    Wow Beth, I just finished reading several of the comments and am not sure I can even post mine right now. I will do it later. I must say now —– thank you for providing a safe place for us to share and grow. So many feelings as I read each post. I want to hug each woman and hear more of her story. I am overtaken by emotion. I have 3 biological sisters and now feel like I have hundreds……
    Rhonda
    Anderson, IN
    50
    Married

  14. 764
    Candy says:

    Candy
    30's
    Married
    Huntsville, AL

    I just so happened to read chapter 3 on the treadmill at a local gym in between what may have been the two smallest ladies on the planet! Talk about my false positives….i kept thinking to myself, can they see the title of this book…its written awfully small on the top of every page…surely they can't see it, right???

    I have always thought that if I were thin, all my problems would just dissapear…

    The challenge: To allow God's truth to obliterate every false positive I have.

    I identify with Leah….always striving to be loved and accepted.

  15. 765
    momuv7 says:

    My most prominent false positive- A GREAT Christian man would make me secure. Because a GREAT Christian man would never leave me, cheat on me, lie to me, would always look at me as Christ loves the church-giving himself up for her. Right??????

    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    Kim
    40's
    married
    Trenton,OH

  16. 766
    Gina says:

    Gina
    Central Oregon
    married in my 30's

    Boy this was tough-but I think I'm often on the same page you were Beth as you pranced in front of your husband hoping for some something. Now, my husband is amazing and wonderful and more than I could ever deserve. But when I'm really and totally honest he's not always as lovey-dovey as I'd wish for. I'm talking sweet love notes, and thoughtful gestures for no reason. You know I don't want flowers every day (our budget would make that exercise short lived anyway!) but I'd love a love note, a card on Valentine's, or even on my birthday. In short, it's romance. But when it gets down to it, I'm reminded that God romances me constantly…I just wish he's show my husband how to do it. And there's the thing, I know I'm looking for something from husband that should only come from God. Shame on me, and no wonder I'm a wreck sometimes. I'm slowly (ever so slowly) learning to turn to God's affirmation of me FIRST.

    Moving on….I identify most with Paul. I long to say, like he did, "by God's grace, I'm me. I am who I am." I want to push my ego aside, and toss out my silly fears and issues with how God's gifted me and the work he's called me to do. I want to be used by God, not because I'm so uber cool but because I'm so not. I want him to use me because he can, knowing that's how he works.

    Boy that's a lot-I sure hope it makes sense. And I'm sure encouraged that we're all processing through this together.

  17. 767
    Mary says:

    Mary 60's Cincinnati Ohio

    1. My "Prominent False Positive" – being able to trust that my husband is crazy about me.

    2. The challenge is to allow the Lord's strength to overtake our weakness – His light to replace our darkness. Allow God's truth to overshadow our insecurities. Through God's grace we'll see the treasure He wants us to be. Our view of who we are should be rooted in the fact that we are uniquely made by God & maintained by the love Jesus demonstrated & the grace He continually offers. I understand all of this intellectually but somewhere in my mind I lose the concept emotionally.

  18. 768
    MaryS says:

    Mary
    40's
    Single
    Houston,TX

    1. Prominent False Positive – Being an extrovert would make me secure. Being able to or confident enough to talk to anyone.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have. To see in Christ's glorious reflection the treasure I am.

    3. Moses' excuses when called of God – "I am slow of speech and tongue" and Saul's hiding in the baggage. Insecurity over my speech – grammar and pronunciation – and walking into a room of people. Insecurity that I can't be accepted as I am – speech wise.

  19. 769
    tinaluvtennis says:

    Well, I've already commented but after reading Ch. 3 again…I think I missed the mark with my answer. The most PFP would be CONTROL. If I'm in control of everything I'll be o.k. The fear factor is huge in my life. So, maybe that's why I'm a perfectionist! And of course, my worry was if I would have the "right" answer to the question. O.K. can you say INSECURITY?!!
    Tina
    40's
    Hous. TX

  20. 770
    fuzzytop says:

    I grew up in a pretty strange family situation, and as a little girl, I always longed to be in a "perfect" family, like I saw on TV. Over time that longing has evolved into a pfp of wanting everything in my family and home to be perfect, and then I'll be happy and secure. Sheesh! My head knows this is not true, but my heart hasn't quite figured it out….

    MY Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly (and I hope rapidly)overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    I think I probably relate the most with Sarai, or Martha – sepcifically the attitude of "…well if I don't do it (whatever IT is), it's not going to get done…", and all the while I am fuming at people for not helping, not understanding that they need to do their share, etc. It's exhausting. Right now I am not a relaxed, secure, and joyful person – but I'd like to be :o)

    Hugs,
    Adrienne

  21. 771
    Heather says:

    Heather – 33 – Married
    Valdese, NC
    1. How do I choose just 1 – money, weight, popularity. (money)Crazy thing is GOD always provides everything I need. (weight)I have battled it all my life – you would think I would be over it by now, huh? (popularity) I have lots of friends, but still feel like I know no. Soooo, I have come to a conclusion… my middle name is insecurity.
    2.Stop focusing on earthly things that will "supposedly" give security and focus only on GOD, the one who "DOES" give security.
    3.I relate most to Rachel – for years (13 1/2 to be exact) I battled infertility and wondered why I was not good enough to bare them. Then I finally let it go and gave it to GOD, I got pregnant. It ended at 12 weeks in a miscarriage, BUT GOD (I love that phrase) has used all of this to shwo me HE really is in control of everything and HIS plan is perfect. I have to be patient, which is so hard for me.

  22. 772
    Anonymous says:

    Kelly, 30, married, Bryan, TX

    1. The perfect body and brains. What really struck home is that I still honestly believe if I looked perfect I'd be able to act perfect – Lord help me! 🙂 Praise God for leading me to this study.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Saul – hiding in the baggage. I don't want my responsibilities God has given me because I don't feel wise enough or good enough to be doing them. What an evil attack from Satan!

  23. 773
    Margaret says:

    Margaret
    fifties
    married
    Jacksonville, Fl

    1) physical appearance and a successful career
    2) challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
    3) The biblical figure that resonates with me is definitely Moses. The prayer, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant." is one I have prayed…that God would help what is on my heart and in my mind come out of my lips. I have trouble with group bible studies because I never seem to be able to articulate answers like others at my table,even though I know I have something to contribute.

    Beth's comment, "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities." is so true of me, I fear.

  24. 774
    Carolannie says:

    Carolann
    Overbrook, Kansas
    40's
    married

    PFP is speaking to people about Jesus. So you probably can guess that I identify with Moses. I covet others Biblical knowledge and think if I could attain that then I'll be good enough to share the gospel. I DO have knowledge but I can't seem to keep all the 'addresses' straight. I'm good at paraphrasing but not in remembering where exactly a particular bit is found in the scriptures. Kind of like history classes. I can remember specific events but not exact dates. Anyway, enough about me. I just want to get past this and quit counting on self and trust God when an occasion arises to talk about my Savior.

    p.s. I am Christian Counselor and have absolutely no prob talking to my clients about Jesus. In fact I never worry about it then, I totally trust Him to speak through me. But my clients come to me expecting to hear from God so it takes me out of the equation. My problem lies in speaking to friends, neighbors and other people I come in contact with daily. I envy people who can do this with such ease. And yes, I'm jealous. Shame on me.

    I'm going to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake me until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    This last statement is going on my fridge.

  25. 775
    fuzzytop says:

    I forgot to add this info to my comment (sorry)

    Adrienne
    Jasper, TN
    40's
    Married and crabby…

  26. 776
    momuv7 says:

    Chapter 4

    Actually I couldn't pick just one biblical figure, they all resonated with some part of me. But the mention of the super-apostles brought to mind Peter. Emotional, passionate, out-front Peter. But when things got tough, and the world said, "Aren't you one of his friends?"—Fear prevailed. Even among church friends and Christian family, I am petrified to be demonstrative about my faith. I am petrified to pray in public (I will but my focus is on the people around me who are listening). Oh how I would love to raise my hands in worship at church (but someone might see me and think she's crazy). Or to bow my head in a restaraunt…shamefully it scares me. I keep hearing in my head "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will acknowledge before my Father. And he who denies me before men, I will deny before my Father".
    But the fear and insecurity prevail, shame creeps in, and I am again insecure in my faith. How could God love someone so flawed??
    Inside, I want to be the post-Pentecost Peter, not the pre-Pentecost Peter I am now.

    Kim
    40's
    married
    Trenton, OH

  27. 777
    Wanda says:

    Wanda
    Sylva, NC
    30's
    Married

    My most prominent false positive is financial security mixed with a need to be important. I am going to be honest here. I have a longing to have more money (I think I would be happier if I could go anywhere and buy anything) and run my own business. I have been trying to do this for 15 years now and am failing miserably at both. God provides for our needs; however, I have not been faithful to receive more.

    I most relate to Peter in the Bible because I too have issues being truthful when pinned down. It's not that I want to lie but I have a hard time telling someone something they don't want to hear.

  28. 778
    Wynne & Stephen says:

    Wynne
    Texas
    20s
    married

    1. my prominent false positive would have to be – trying to have it all together. thinking that everyone else could do a better job at xyz than me. lacking the god given confidence to be who I was meant to be.

    2. challenge- to trust that HIS strength is made perfect in my weaknesses, and to know that with HIm ALL things are possible & I am good enough, I am the daughter of a KING!

    3. the statement when we were talking about Saul – "insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them". Saul feared the loss of power & admiration and I am scared of that everyday – that friendships, my husband, family will be taken away from me or they will all of a sudden stop affirming me or will want to stop their relationship with me.

  29. 779
    Wynne & Stephen says:

    Wynne
    Texas
    20s
    married

    1. my prominent false positive would have to be – trying to have it all together. thinking that everyone else could do a better job at xyz than me. lacking the god given confidence to be who I was meant to be.

    2. challenge- to trust that HIS strength is made perfect in my weaknesses, and to know that with HIm ALL things are possible & I am good enough, I am the daughter of a KING!

    3. the statement when we were talking about Saul – "insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them". Saul feared the loss of power & admiration and I am scared of that everyday – that friendships, my husband, family will be taken away from me or they will all of a sudden stop affirming me or will want to stop their relationship with me.

  30. 780
    Wynne & Stephen says:

    Wynne
    Texas
    20s
    married

    1. my prominent false positive would have to be – trying to have it all together. thinking that everyone else could do a better job at xyz than me. lacking the god given confidence to be who I was meant to be.

    2. challenge- to trust that HIS strength is made perfect in my weaknesses, and to know that with HIm ALL things are possible & I am good enough, I am the daughter of a KING!

    3. the statement when we were talking about Saul – "insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them". Saul feared the loss of power & admiration and I am scared of that everyday – that friendships, my husband, family will be taken away from me or they will all of a sudden stop affirming me or will want to stop their relationship with me.

  31. 781
    rooney says:

    Jackie
    Platte City MO
    50's
    married

    The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
    " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."

    Based on Chapter 3, what tends to be your own “prominent False Positive?”

    I gravitate towards “If I had a husband who loved and served the Lord, then we could pray and be on the same page spiritually. He would love me as Christ loved the church and I would feel so good about myself all the time! it is rejection or perceived rejection from my husband that makes me feel most insecure.

    I think the bible character I relate to in this is Hagar. To me, she had lots to offer her man, but he didn’t want it. She was deemed 2nd class because Sarah was the one that was really loved. I don’t think my man loves any person more than me, he just loves TV and books and sleep more than me. So.. I guess it could be worse. (sorry if that is too much information. Just want to be real here.)

  32. 782
    Honeydew Mama says:

    30, married, Mississippi

    1. My PFP: So many I can't pick! I think professional success and financial security…I really want more monetary reward for the job I do..GOd provides well, and I'm never satisfied (ugg) I look at others homes and want mine to be like theirs…"if I only had this or that"

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. Who don't I identify with? I'm a mess !! Leah- I often hope that my accomplishments will grant me the love and affirmation I long for, Paul- I often feel unworthy and at the same time question why the things I have done "right" in my life don't make me worthy

  33. 783
    Anonymous says:

    Kim, 40s, Single, Louisville, KY

    1. My Prominent False Positive is definitely appearance/weight. I'm constantly thinking, if only I were thin, if only I had perfect skin, if only I dressed better, then I would feel secure.

    2. The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Amen.

    3. The Biblical character that resonated with me most? Sad to say, but they've all been me at one time or another. In this season of life, I probably resonate most with Moses. I'm afraid to jump out and do what God's calling me to do because I feel inadequate and doubt my ability because I'm looking at my own weakness instead of God's greatness.

  34. 784
    Kari says:

    1. I have two: financial security and losing weight

    2. Allow God to erase my false positives and replace them with the understanding of what a treasure I already am to Him.

    3. Leah – I remember thinking 12 years ago that having children would be a huge boost to my security. Like Leah, not thinking the child would give me the security boost but the status of motherhood would cause others to be my friend.

  35. 785
    Inez says:

    Inez 52
    married
    Hamburg AR

    Was in Houston 2 weeks ago and took my book with the cover on all over MD Anderson right where people could see it!!

    False positive
    the how I look thing. I have never been beautiful, but when I see myself now in pictures I am stunned to see how I look 🙁 I find myself running from the camera and hardly will look in the mirror. Why does it matter so much

    The challenge let God's health take me over!!

    I identify with Moses. God had things for him to do and he was too insecure to do them. Hello

  36. 786
    Kari says:

    1. I have two: financial security and losing weight

    2. Allow God to erase my false positives and replace them with the understanding of what a treasure I already am to Him.

    3. Leah – I remember thinking 12 years ago that having children would be a huge boost to my security. Like Leah, not thinking the child would give me the security boost but the status of motherhood would cause others to be my friend.

    married in SD
    30's

  37. 787
    Kim from PA says:

    Today I turn 54! Lots to be thankful for.
    Kim E
    Lewisburg, PA
    Married 31 years to my soul mate!

    1. False +'s are health, lots of fear/control issues-some because of previous cancer &allograft in lower leg in 1983. I question what can I do not to hurt myself and what am I holding myself back from doing? My overweight-yes health issues hold back some but I am the problem.
    2. The CHALLANGE-to let the healthy, utterly whole,& completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in HIS glorious refection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon me.
    3.Pg 53 Insecurity's expertise is hiding its victim in some baggage.I realize that there is heavy baggage to realize, resolve, and be rid of even though I've been in counciling and Bible studies many years. I want it GONE!

    Thank you for this book, study, and I look forward to the Simulcast in April.

  38. 788
    Tammy says:

    1. Financial – Often difficult and stressful to live from payday to payday. I often imagine that it would be easier to have an increased flow of income coming in and not worry so much.

    2. To let the health, utterly whole and completely secure part of us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out our every emotion, reaction & relationship.

    3. Sarai & Hagar – "jealously is always the result of a perceived threat" – Never thought of myself as a jealous person, but this past year I have experienced several "jealous" moments that have actually surprised me! The result and reactions were not always pretty!

    Tammy, Kingsport TN, 40's, Married

  39. 789
    Anonymous says:

    My PFP is money. Because that of course would solve everything… well and losing about 20lbs (which takes $$ 'cause I need a gym membership and personal trainer right?).

    I must accept the challenge of Ch 3:To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    Beth's statement about insecurities being driven by fear sure hits me. An hour and a half conversation with my husband about $$ last night all stems from my fear of financial instability (a major issue in my parent's marriage and separation).

    Curious to see where the rest of the book heads.

    Karen
    Washington
    30s
    Married

  40. 790
    Rae Nolt says:

    Rachel
    30's
    Married
    Floyd, IA

    1. Prominent False Positive: Growing up as a Pastor's Kid, we didn't make very much money. I never really had the best of ANYTHING and although I didn't know this at the time, it had made me insecure about my clothes. I'm realizing this more and more–with a baby on the way! Everything I buy has to be NEW. NOT USED. VERY hard for me to buy him something (anything!) that was used by someone else…and it goes back to when I was a child…if you buy something used it means you are poor. So ALL of MY clothes are NEW as well as all my baby's clothes (and everything else) is new. I'm working on it…but it's a struggle!

    2. Chapter 4…I think I highlighted the ENTIRE chapter! Honestly, it was the best chapter I ever read! The story that MOST resonated with me was the story of Leah and Rachel. So many times we think if we could just be the another person they have it all together. Leah wanted love, Rachel wanted children. Each wanted what the other sister had. It really opened my eyes to the people around me to realize that we each are going through something and although it looks like they have it ALL together…they don't. Just like I don't!

    SO ENJOYING this study EACH day!

  41. 791
    Anonymous says:

    Bertie again…just read comment from Jenn in Florida…Lord, I pray that TODAY you'll demonstrate in an unmistakable and tangible way your deep and abiding care for your precious daughter Jenn, because you tell us in your Word that you are always watching out for what concerns her and are present to every detail of her life.

  42. 792
    Julie says:

    Julie, 32,
    Married in Longview, WA

    My most prominent false positive is my appearance, weight especially, hair and clothes. Looking like I've got it all together.

    When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious relfection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    I relate to Rachel the most, having someone love you but feeling like you are not worthy enough or need to earn it.

    Thank God these things can be healed and made perfect through Him alone.

  43. 793
    Anonymous says:

    Donielle
    32
    Married
    Mt. Holly Springs, PA

    1. Prominent False Positive: Losing the weight I've gained since getting married and having 3 kids.

    2.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. The example of Moses really resonated with me most. I've seen God prove himself over and over to me in amazing ways and show his power through my life. And yet I can still find reasons to disqualify myself for ministry.

  44. 794
    Brienne says:

    Brienne
    20's
    Married
    Marengo, IL

    1) APPEARANCE AND MY WEIGHT!!! I can’t even say that enough. I feel right now that once I get my weight and how I look under control – everything else will fall into place. Reading this just made me realize how short – lived that control will be. I should not hang all my hopes and dreams on the fact of being skinny!

    3) I think that Moses really resonated with me! I just started seeking a relationship with God, and I can feel that I am allowing my insecurities about myself and my faith get in the way of God talking to me and using me. I am insecure God’s plan for me. That really bums me out! I know that if I let God in, and let Him help me – He will help get rid all my insecurities!

  45. 795
    Nancy says:

    Nancy
    London,England
    20's
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive: Both prestige and credentials
    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, secure part of us increasingly overtake our fleshy nature until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Amen!
    3. I relate to the disciples asking "who is the greatest?"

  46. 796
    hrt says:

    Tracey
    40's
    Married
    Maryland

    1. My "prominent false positive" would be a more attentive husband.

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Leah is the Biblical figure that resonated the most with me because she felt unloved by her husband and inadequate.

  47. 797
    Lahna says:

    Lahna
    60's
    married
    Burkburnett, TX

    1. My "prominent false positive" would be weight.

    2 & 3. I do identify with Moses. How much proof did he need that God could work through him? God probably wants to bean me and say, "Get out of my way and let me work through you," which is paraphrasing the challenge. I am too wrapped up in what I see as my failings to see what God could do if I let Him.

  48. 798
    mholgate says:

    Melissa
    Spokane, WA
    30's
    Married

    Listen, I had to make up my own most prominent false positive (I hope that's ok) because I don't think it fits into one particular listed category. It would be "You're so gifted/talented."

    Prominent false positive: If only I were more gifted/talented God would be able to use me better.

    I struggle with this one all the time. Honestly, I struggle with it reading your book because I want to help women too. Ironic.

    Question 2: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." AMEN!

    I don't have an answer for question 3 yet, but I wanted to chime in with question one while it was fresh on my brain.

  49. 799
    petersonpeople says:

    Ro
    Liberty, MO
    30's
    married

    1'…after all, your so fit, in shape, and thin, and you even run marathons!" I have a lying voice inside that tells me if I was thin, everything else would be perfect. Even though I know several thin and beautiful women that are shells with very little on the inside, I should know by know that beauty doesn't buy happiness.

    2. I had to look back because all I remembered was that it made me cry. Ok, the challenge is to let God into all the weak, hidden places, to let His truth open our eyes to His gift. That He resides in us, making us beautiful and complete. We are clothed in white and he sees us as beautiful.

    Paul, I love him because of his honesty. He was so genuine and God did use him despite that fact that he wasn't a super-fit bible writing hottie. He was just Paul, once a killer of Christians. He was used by God because others could relate to him, and he wanted nothing more. He gave his life to serve God, to convey the teachings of Christ, in such a human package. And he was such a deep thinker, I can relate to him in that way.

  50. 800
    Hannah says:

    Hannah
    Richardson, TX
    20's
    Married

    1. Prominent false positive – my weight. My weight. My weight. I knew exactly where your friend was coming from.

    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Amen!!

    3. I most identified with Paul – bless his heart (and mine). That idea of proving himself: "He fought the awful feeling that he wasn't as good as the others who hadn't done nearly so much wrong." Oh, and the "big, fat ego" part.

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So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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  1. 801
    Buldamari says:

    Springfield, MO
    20's
    Married

    1) Body image or not being perfect that is my most prominent false positive by far. With weight I felt I could not reach the goal I wanted, (which is out of control) Then feel like I am a complete failure and fall into self-injury. It turned into anything I was not perfect at. The failure is so intolerable and I get so angry at myself that I self-injure, which helps for a little while but then that just makes everything worse, the body image worsen because of the scars that are left.

    2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3) Moses resonated with me the most hands down.

  2. 802
    Debbie B says:

    Wow – this is so hard. I can identify with one who said she had too many false positives to list in this space! Getting down to it though, I know for sure one area would be my body/looks – always have thought of myself as overweight and not pretty. So I think if I had the perfect body and the looks things would be better! So shallow I know.

    The challenge is to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes be open to the treasures we have." As we get to know him and get closer and closer, spending more and more time with him, we will begin to see ourselves through HIS eyes as the treasure that we truly are!

    The Biblical figure that really stuck out to me and that I could identify with would be Leah and Rachel. Here Jacob loved Rachel more but Leah was the one who was giving him what he wanted! "Nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure>" We can always look at others and see how they are prospering when we know we could do the same thing and maybe even better!!! Hence the insecurity! We can't just be joyful for them that they are moving up we have to be envious about it. I am so sorry God – please forgive me for these feelings.

  3. 803
    Cheryl Barker says:

    Cheryl
    50s
    Married
    Coffeyville, KS

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. I probably most identify with Paul and these phrases about him: "the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself"
    and "belittling and boasting in himself". I, too, am a complex "mound" like him. I fight the inner man. Out of the blue, pride will rear its head (when that's the last thing I want), but I'm also insecure at the same time. The pride itself makes me feel sinful and bad that it's comes up and then I think that makes me feel even somewhat insecure before God — even though I know my security with Him is not based on my performance or "perfection". But the performance battle is one I've fought my entire life…

  4. 804
    Debbie B says:

    I forgot the basic info I was supposed to leave each time we posted so I will do it now…
    Debbie, early 50's, married in Acworth, GA.

  5. 805
    Gayle @ thewestiecrew says:

    Gayle
    Birmingham, AL
    30's
    Married

    1. My PFP is financial security. I somehow have it in my mind that more money will fix everything. I know better… 🙁 People who "have it all" are rarely any happier than I am already. I'm one blessed girl even without a big bank account.

    2. To let the secure part of us take over every area of life. To let God's truth overrule my false positives, and to realize the treasures that I have already. And the treasure that I am to Him.

    3. Peter… even though I don't remember him being mentioned. I *get* that dude. 🙂

  6. 806
    Diane says:

    Diane
    Albany, GA
    married
    40's

    1. False positive: I could find what I've been missing, if I could lose what I've been finding….pounds! ARGH!

    2.Challenge: "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    3. Moses is the guy…..excuses, excuses, excuses. I always carry a spare. Never know when God will want to ask something difficult of me. But in those moments where I see my fear for what it is, and trust God in obedience-Oh my, the blessing!

  7. 807
    rsgreen83 says:

    Wow Beth, I just finished reading several of the comments and am not sure I can even post mine right now. I will do it later. I must say now —– thank you for providing a safe place for us to share and grow. So many feelings as I read each post. I want to hug each woman and hear more of her story. I am overtaken by emotion. I have 3 biological sisters and now feel like I have hundreds……
    Rhonda
    Anderson, IN
    50
    Married

  8. 808
    Candy says:

    Candy
    30's
    Married
    Huntsville, AL

    I just so happened to read chapter 3 on the treadmill at a local gym in between what may have been the two smallest ladies on the planet! Talk about my false positives….i kept thinking to myself, can they see the title of this book…its written awfully small on the top of every page…surely they can't see it, right???

    I have always thought that if I were thin, all my problems would just dissapear…

    The challenge: To allow God's truth to obliterate every false positive I have.

    I identify with Leah….always striving to be loved and accepted.

  9. 809
    momuv7 says:

    My most prominent false positive- A GREAT Christian man would make me secure. Because a GREAT Christian man would never leave me, cheat on me, lie to me, would always look at me as Christ loves the church-giving himself up for her. Right??????

    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    Kim
    40's
    married
    Trenton,OH

  10. 810
    Gina says:

    Gina
    Central Oregon
    married in my 30's

    Boy this was tough-but I think I'm often on the same page you were Beth as you pranced in front of your husband hoping for some something. Now, my husband is amazing and wonderful and more than I could ever deserve. But when I'm really and totally honest he's not always as lovey-dovey as I'd wish for. I'm talking sweet love notes, and thoughtful gestures for no reason. You know I don't want flowers every day (our budget would make that exercise short lived anyway!) but I'd love a love note, a card on Valentine's, or even on my birthday. In short, it's romance. But when it gets down to it, I'm reminded that God romances me constantly…I just wish he's show my husband how to do it. And there's the thing, I know I'm looking for something from husband that should only come from God. Shame on me, and no wonder I'm a wreck sometimes. I'm slowly (ever so slowly) learning to turn to God's affirmation of me FIRST.

    Moving on….I identify most with Paul. I long to say, like he did, "by God's grace, I'm me. I am who I am." I want to push my ego aside, and toss out my silly fears and issues with how God's gifted me and the work he's called me to do. I want to be used by God, not because I'm so uber cool but because I'm so not. I want him to use me because he can, knowing that's how he works.

    Boy that's a lot-I sure hope it makes sense. And I'm sure encouraged that we're all processing through this together.

  11. 811
    Mary says:

    Mary 60's Cincinnati Ohio

    1. My "Prominent False Positive" – being able to trust that my husband is crazy about me.

    2. The challenge is to allow the Lord's strength to overtake our weakness – His light to replace our darkness. Allow God's truth to overshadow our insecurities. Through God's grace we'll see the treasure He wants us to be. Our view of who we are should be rooted in the fact that we are uniquely made by God & maintained by the love Jesus demonstrated & the grace He continually offers. I understand all of this intellectually but somewhere in my mind I lose the concept emotionally.

  12. 812
    MaryS says:

    Mary
    40's
    Single
    Houston,TX

    1. Prominent False Positive – Being an extrovert would make me secure. Being able to or confident enough to talk to anyone.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have. To see in Christ's glorious reflection the treasure I am.

    3. Moses' excuses when called of God – "I am slow of speech and tongue" and Saul's hiding in the baggage. Insecurity over my speech – grammar and pronunciation – and walking into a room of people. Insecurity that I can't be accepted as I am – speech wise.

  13. 813
    tinaluvtennis says:

    Well, I've already commented but after reading Ch. 3 again…I think I missed the mark with my answer. The most PFP would be CONTROL. If I'm in control of everything I'll be o.k. The fear factor is huge in my life. So, maybe that's why I'm a perfectionist! And of course, my worry was if I would have the "right" answer to the question. O.K. can you say INSECURITY?!!
    Tina
    40's
    Hous. TX

  14. 814
    fuzzytop says:

    I grew up in a pretty strange family situation, and as a little girl, I always longed to be in a "perfect" family, like I saw on TV. Over time that longing has evolved into a pfp of wanting everything in my family and home to be perfect, and then I'll be happy and secure. Sheesh! My head knows this is not true, but my heart hasn't quite figured it out….

    MY Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly (and I hope rapidly)overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    I think I probably relate the most with Sarai, or Martha – sepcifically the attitude of "…well if I don't do it (whatever IT is), it's not going to get done…", and all the while I am fuming at people for not helping, not understanding that they need to do their share, etc. It's exhausting. Right now I am not a relaxed, secure, and joyful person – but I'd like to be :o)

    Hugs,
    Adrienne

  15. 815
    Heather says:

    Heather – 33 – Married
    Valdese, NC
    1. How do I choose just 1 – money, weight, popularity. (money)Crazy thing is GOD always provides everything I need. (weight)I have battled it all my life – you would think I would be over it by now, huh? (popularity) I have lots of friends, but still feel like I know no. Soooo, I have come to a conclusion… my middle name is insecurity.
    2.Stop focusing on earthly things that will "supposedly" give security and focus only on GOD, the one who "DOES" give security.
    3.I relate most to Rachel – for years (13 1/2 to be exact) I battled infertility and wondered why I was not good enough to bare them. Then I finally let it go and gave it to GOD, I got pregnant. It ended at 12 weeks in a miscarriage, BUT GOD (I love that phrase) has used all of this to shwo me HE really is in control of everything and HIS plan is perfect. I have to be patient, which is so hard for me.

  16. 816
    Anonymous says:

    Kelly, 30, married, Bryan, TX

    1. The perfect body and brains. What really struck home is that I still honestly believe if I looked perfect I'd be able to act perfect – Lord help me! 🙂 Praise God for leading me to this study.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Saul – hiding in the baggage. I don't want my responsibilities God has given me because I don't feel wise enough or good enough to be doing them. What an evil attack from Satan!

  17. 817
    Margaret says:

    Margaret
    fifties
    married
    Jacksonville, Fl

    1) physical appearance and a successful career
    2) challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
    3) The biblical figure that resonates with me is definitely Moses. The prayer, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant." is one I have prayed…that God would help what is on my heart and in my mind come out of my lips. I have trouble with group bible studies because I never seem to be able to articulate answers like others at my table,even though I know I have something to contribute.

    Beth's comment, "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities." is so true of me, I fear.

  18. 818
    Carolannie says:

    Carolann
    Overbrook, Kansas
    40's
    married

    PFP is speaking to people about Jesus. So you probably can guess that I identify with Moses. I covet others Biblical knowledge and think if I could attain that then I'll be good enough to share the gospel. I DO have knowledge but I can't seem to keep all the 'addresses' straight. I'm good at paraphrasing but not in remembering where exactly a particular bit is found in the scriptures. Kind of like history classes. I can remember specific events but not exact dates. Anyway, enough about me. I just want to get past this and quit counting on self and trust God when an occasion arises to talk about my Savior.

    p.s. I am Christian Counselor and have absolutely no prob talking to my clients about Jesus. In fact I never worry about it then, I totally trust Him to speak through me. But my clients come to me expecting to hear from God so it takes me out of the equation. My problem lies in speaking to friends, neighbors and other people I come in contact with daily. I envy people who can do this with such ease. And yes, I'm jealous. Shame on me.

    I'm going to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake me until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    This last statement is going on my fridge.

  19. 819
    fuzzytop says:

    I forgot to add this info to my comment (sorry)

    Adrienne
    Jasper, TN
    40's
    Married and crabby…

  20. 820
    momuv7 says:

    Chapter 4

    Actually I couldn't pick just one biblical figure, they all resonated with some part of me. But the mention of the super-apostles brought to mind Peter. Emotional, passionate, out-front Peter. But when things got tough, and the world said, "Aren't you one of his friends?"—Fear prevailed. Even among church friends and Christian family, I am petrified to be demonstrative about my faith. I am petrified to pray in public (I will but my focus is on the people around me who are listening). Oh how I would love to raise my hands in worship at church (but someone might see me and think she's crazy). Or to bow my head in a restaraunt…shamefully it scares me. I keep hearing in my head "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will acknowledge before my Father. And he who denies me before men, I will deny before my Father".
    But the fear and insecurity prevail, shame creeps in, and I am again insecure in my faith. How could God love someone so flawed??
    Inside, I want to be the post-Pentecost Peter, not the pre-Pentecost Peter I am now.

    Kim
    40's
    married
    Trenton, OH

  21. 821
    Wanda says:

    Wanda
    Sylva, NC
    30's
    Married

    My most prominent false positive is financial security mixed with a need to be important. I am going to be honest here. I have a longing to have more money (I think I would be happier if I could go anywhere and buy anything) and run my own business. I have been trying to do this for 15 years now and am failing miserably at both. God provides for our needs; however, I have not been faithful to receive more.

    I most relate to Peter in the Bible because I too have issues being truthful when pinned down. It's not that I want to lie but I have a hard time telling someone something they don't want to hear.

  22. 822
    Wynne & Stephen says:

    Wynne
    Texas
    20s
    married

    1. my prominent false positive would have to be – trying to have it all together. thinking that everyone else could do a better job at xyz than me. lacking the god given confidence to be who I was meant to be.

    2. challenge- to trust that HIS strength is made perfect in my weaknesses, and to know that with HIm ALL things are possible & I am good enough, I am the daughter of a KING!

    3. the statement when we were talking about Saul – "insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them". Saul feared the loss of power & admiration and I am scared of that everyday – that friendships, my husband, family will be taken away from me or they will all of a sudden stop affirming me or will want to stop their relationship with me.

  23. 823
    rooney says:

    Jackie
    Platte City MO
    50's
    married

    The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
    " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."

    Based on Chapter 3, what tends to be your own “prominent False Positive?”

    I gravitate towards “If I had a husband who loved and served the Lord, then we could pray and be on the same page spiritually. He would love me as Christ loved the church and I would feel so good about myself all the time! it is rejection or perceived rejection from my husband that makes me feel most insecure.

    I think the bible character I relate to in this is Hagar. To me, she had lots to offer her man, but he didn’t want it. She was deemed 2nd class because Sarah was the one that was really loved. I don’t think my man loves any person more than me, he just loves TV and books and sleep more than me. So.. I guess it could be worse. (sorry if that is too much information. Just want to be real here.)

  24. 824
    Honeydew Mama says:

    30, married, Mississippi

    1. My PFP: So many I can't pick! I think professional success and financial security…I really want more monetary reward for the job I do..GOd provides well, and I'm never satisfied (ugg) I look at others homes and want mine to be like theirs…"if I only had this or that"

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. Who don't I identify with? I'm a mess !! Leah- I often hope that my accomplishments will grant me the love and affirmation I long for, Paul- I often feel unworthy and at the same time question why the things I have done "right" in my life don't make me worthy

  25. 825
    Anonymous says:

    Kim, 40s, Single, Louisville, KY

    1. My Prominent False Positive is definitely appearance/weight. I'm constantly thinking, if only I were thin, if only I had perfect skin, if only I dressed better, then I would feel secure.

    2. The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Amen.

    3. The Biblical character that resonated with me most? Sad to say, but they've all been me at one time or another. In this season of life, I probably resonate most with Moses. I'm afraid to jump out and do what God's calling me to do because I feel inadequate and doubt my ability because I'm looking at my own weakness instead of God's greatness.

  26. 826
    Kari says:

    1. I have two: financial security and losing weight

    2. Allow God to erase my false positives and replace them with the understanding of what a treasure I already am to Him.

    3. Leah – I remember thinking 12 years ago that having children would be a huge boost to my security. Like Leah, not thinking the child would give me the security boost but the status of motherhood would cause others to be my friend.

  27. 827
    Inez says:

    Inez 52
    married
    Hamburg AR

    Was in Houston 2 weeks ago and took my book with the cover on all over MD Anderson right where people could see it!!

    False positive
    the how I look thing. I have never been beautiful, but when I see myself now in pictures I am stunned to see how I look 🙁 I find myself running from the camera and hardly will look in the mirror. Why does it matter so much

    The challenge let God's health take me over!!

    I identify with Moses. God had things for him to do and he was too insecure to do them. Hello

  28. 828
    Kari says:

    1. I have two: financial security and losing weight

    2. Allow God to erase my false positives and replace them with the understanding of what a treasure I already am to Him.

    3. Leah – I remember thinking 12 years ago that having children would be a huge boost to my security. Like Leah, not thinking the child would give me the security boost but the status of motherhood would cause others to be my friend.

    married in SD
    30's

  29. 829
    Kim from PA says:

    Today I turn 54! Lots to be thankful for.
    Kim E
    Lewisburg, PA
    Married 31 years to my soul mate!

    1. False +'s are health, lots of fear/control issues-some because of previous cancer &allograft in lower leg in 1983. I question what can I do not to hurt myself and what am I holding myself back from doing? My overweight-yes health issues hold back some but I am the problem.
    2. The CHALLANGE-to let the healthy, utterly whole,& completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in HIS glorious refection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon me.
    3.Pg 53 Insecurity's expertise is hiding its victim in some baggage.I realize that there is heavy baggage to realize, resolve, and be rid of even though I've been in counciling and Bible studies many years. I want it GONE!

    Thank you for this book, study, and I look forward to the Simulcast in April.

  30. 830
    Tammy says:

    1. Financial – Often difficult and stressful to live from payday to payday. I often imagine that it would be easier to have an increased flow of income coming in and not worry so much.

    2. To let the health, utterly whole and completely secure part of us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out our every emotion, reaction & relationship.

    3. Sarai & Hagar – "jealously is always the result of a perceived threat" – Never thought of myself as a jealous person, but this past year I have experienced several "jealous" moments that have actually surprised me! The result and reactions were not always pretty!

    Tammy, Kingsport TN, 40's, Married

  31. 831
    Anonymous says:

    My PFP is money. Because that of course would solve everything… well and losing about 20lbs (which takes $$ 'cause I need a gym membership and personal trainer right?).

    I must accept the challenge of Ch 3:To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    Beth's statement about insecurities being driven by fear sure hits me. An hour and a half conversation with my husband about $$ last night all stems from my fear of financial instability (a major issue in my parent's marriage and separation).

    Curious to see where the rest of the book heads.

    Karen
    Washington
    30s
    Married

  32. 832
    Rae Nolt says:

    Rachel
    30's
    Married
    Floyd, IA

    1. Prominent False Positive: Growing up as a Pastor's Kid, we didn't make very much money. I never really had the best of ANYTHING and although I didn't know this at the time, it had made me insecure about my clothes. I'm realizing this more and more–with a baby on the way! Everything I buy has to be NEW. NOT USED. VERY hard for me to buy him something (anything!) that was used by someone else…and it goes back to when I was a child…if you buy something used it means you are poor. So ALL of MY clothes are NEW as well as all my baby's clothes (and everything else) is new. I'm working on it…but it's a struggle!

    2. Chapter 4…I think I highlighted the ENTIRE chapter! Honestly, it was the best chapter I ever read! The story that MOST resonated with me was the story of Leah and Rachel. So many times we think if we could just be the another person they have it all together. Leah wanted love, Rachel wanted children. Each wanted what the other sister had. It really opened my eyes to the people around me to realize that we each are going through something and although it looks like they have it ALL together…they don't. Just like I don't!

    SO ENJOYING this study EACH day!

  33. 833
    Anonymous says:

    Bertie again…just read comment from Jenn in Florida…Lord, I pray that TODAY you'll demonstrate in an unmistakable and tangible way your deep and abiding care for your precious daughter Jenn, because you tell us in your Word that you are always watching out for what concerns her and are present to every detail of her life.

  34. 834
    Julie says:

    Julie, 32,
    Married in Longview, WA

    My most prominent false positive is my appearance, weight especially, hair and clothes. Looking like I've got it all together.

    When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious relfection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    I relate to Rachel the most, having someone love you but feeling like you are not worthy enough or need to earn it.

    Thank God these things can be healed and made perfect through Him alone.

  35. 835
    Anonymous says:

    Donielle
    32
    Married
    Mt. Holly Springs, PA

    1. Prominent False Positive: Losing the weight I've gained since getting married and having 3 kids.

    2.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. The example of Moses really resonated with me most. I've seen God prove himself over and over to me in amazing ways and show his power through my life. And yet I can still find reasons to disqualify myself for ministry.

  36. 836
    Brienne says:

    Brienne
    20's
    Married
    Marengo, IL

    1) APPEARANCE AND MY WEIGHT!!! I can’t even say that enough. I feel right now that once I get my weight and how I look under control – everything else will fall into place. Reading this just made me realize how short – lived that control will be. I should not hang all my hopes and dreams on the fact of being skinny!

    3) I think that Moses really resonated with me! I just started seeking a relationship with God, and I can feel that I am allowing my insecurities about myself and my faith get in the way of God talking to me and using me. I am insecure God’s plan for me. That really bums me out! I know that if I let God in, and let Him help me – He will help get rid all my insecurities!

  37. 837
    Nancy says:

    Nancy
    London,England
    20's
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive: Both prestige and credentials
    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, secure part of us increasingly overtake our fleshy nature until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Amen!
    3. I relate to the disciples asking "who is the greatest?"

  38. 838
    hrt says:

    Tracey
    40's
    Married
    Maryland

    1. My "prominent false positive" would be a more attentive husband.

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Leah is the Biblical figure that resonated the most with me because she felt unloved by her husband and inadequate.

  39. 839
    Lahna says:

    Lahna
    60's
    married
    Burkburnett, TX

    1. My "prominent false positive" would be weight.

    2 & 3. I do identify with Moses. How much proof did he need that God could work through him? God probably wants to bean me and say, "Get out of my way and let me work through you," which is paraphrasing the challenge. I am too wrapped up in what I see as my failings to see what God could do if I let Him.

  40. 840
    mholgate says:

    Melissa
    Spokane, WA
    30's
    Married

    Listen, I had to make up my own most prominent false positive (I hope that's ok) because I don't think it fits into one particular listed category. It would be "You're so gifted/talented."

    Prominent false positive: If only I were more gifted/talented God would be able to use me better.

    I struggle with this one all the time. Honestly, I struggle with it reading your book because I want to help women too. Ironic.

    Question 2: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." AMEN!

    I don't have an answer for question 3 yet, but I wanted to chime in with question one while it was fresh on my brain.

  41. 841
    petersonpeople says:

    Ro
    Liberty, MO
    30's
    married

    1'…after all, your so fit, in shape, and thin, and you even run marathons!" I have a lying voice inside that tells me if I was thin, everything else would be perfect. Even though I know several thin and beautiful women that are shells with very little on the inside, I should know by know that beauty doesn't buy happiness.

    2. I had to look back because all I remembered was that it made me cry. Ok, the challenge is to let God into all the weak, hidden places, to let His truth open our eyes to His gift. That He resides in us, making us beautiful and complete. We are clothed in white and he sees us as beautiful.

    Paul, I love him because of his honesty. He was so genuine and God did use him despite that fact that he wasn't a super-fit bible writing hottie. He was just Paul, once a killer of Christians. He was used by God because others could relate to him, and he wanted nothing more. He gave his life to serve God, to convey the teachings of Christ, in such a human package. And he was such a deep thinker, I can relate to him in that way.

  42. 842
    Hannah says:

    Hannah
    Richardson, TX
    20's
    Married

    1. Prominent false positive – my weight. My weight. My weight. I knew exactly where your friend was coming from.

    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Amen!!

    3. I most identified with Paul – bless his heart (and mine). That idea of proving himself: "He fought the awful feeling that he wasn't as good as the others who hadn't done nearly so much wrong." Oh, and the "big, fat ego" part.

  43. 843
    Sarah says:

    Sarah
    Single
    Colorado Springs, CO
    30's

    1. False Positive: Financial Security. Being a single mother, I tend to wrap everything into being financially secure, or what I see as secure. I worry a lot about this.

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."

    3. The biblical figure I seem to be drawn to is the woman at the well. Although I've been married once and now divorced and then lived with a man and now single…..I wrap my security up in a man. This ties into the false positive. If I had a man with a good job to take care of me, life would be fine. I tend to 'over-look' big red flags when meeting a man. I'm the poster child for I-N-S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y.

    Thank you Jesus that you are my provider and I do not need a man to be secure! Keep working this out in me, and the rest of us working through this book. May you Lord be glorified!!!

  44. 844
    Holly says:

    Holly, 49, married, Gvlle, Sc

    Laying in bed last night, I realized with my last post I was insecure because i did not want to post my name because, What if someone I knew read it! How insecure is that!
    as to the questions this week:
    1) false positive is weight
    2)Let God's truth eclipse every false positive and let our eyes open to the treasure we have, in his gloriuos reflection, as well as the treasure we are.
    3)Sarai/Leah – having a 3rd person in the marriage and then due to circumstances, giving up on true emotional intimacy and settling for attachment.

  45. 845
    Sara says:

    Sara
    18
    Belton, Tx
    Single

    1. My prominent false positive is mostly in my body image. It's the thing that I think about every stinkin' day. I'm always asking myself, "will this make me look fat?" and thinking, "if only I were 10 lbs. lighter, I would be happy with my body(& my life)." Yikes.
    2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." (That's definitely going on the bathroom mirror!)
    3. I definitely understand the whole Sarai-Hagar thing. Not because Sarai willingly gave Hagar over to her husband(I would never condone such a thing), but b/c of Sarai's issue w/control. I can totally relate to seeing something that needs to be done and then taking things into my own hands. more often then not, it causes more harm than good. Yikes again.

  46. 846
    Drama mama says:

    Dana
    Weatherford,Tx
    40
    Married

  47. 847
    sagreen125 says:

    Stacy
    Cincinnati, OH
    40's
    Married
    1- false positive- weight loss, if I were skinny, and also financially secure
    2- challenge- listening to God's truth, let His promises run through my mind, speak those truths of who I am in christ
    3- Saul- "we're not jealous of people in whom we see nothing admirable. In fact, it is the fear that they have something we don't that makes us most insecure"
    it made me think, about people I am jealous of, it tends to be just that.

  48. 848
    Victoria says:

    Victoria
    30s
    married
    Thomasville, NC

    1. The one thing that would make me better in all things? As odd as it is to say, especially since I'll be revealing my inner oxymoron, that one thing for me is self-confidence. I see women who just seem to fit every situation, every atmosphere, every thing. They smile the biggest, laugh the loudest, and cry that ugly cry in a beautifully confident way. If I could just ooze self-confidence, I'd be so much more confident. That makes so much non-sense.

    2. Our challenge is to step into the security granted us as daughters to the King and stay there until that confidence in being set apart by Christ is all we carry in this world!

    3. Paul screams to me from the pages of Scripture. We're buddies in our undeserved grace and knowledge of the Lord. He knew we were all in that same boat and yet he was sure to show himself as the deckhand and not the "official" crew. In awe of the awesome works God brought others to first just long enough for God to remind him of the awesomeness in the works through him as well. Guilt, unworthiness, and awe often leave me feeling out of my league among Christian women, especially in ministry!

  49. 849
    Restored Flower says:

    Shareese, 32
    Married in Maryland

    1. The thing I tend to associate most with security is my relationship with my husband. Right now we are at a point where the rubber meets the road and we have to put up or shut up and I am just at a lost. I had no idea how dependent I am on this man. I mean, he thinks for me! Pitiful! Im grateful for this book however and look forward to a healthy self image and a healthy marriage…
    And of course If I can lose these last 20 pounds, I would be more secure (NOT!)…

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship…AMEN and thanks mother from another!

    3.I can identify with Eves wardrobe issues, and Sarai’s inadequacies so low that she allowed another woman to sleep with her man out of a feeling that she can’t give him what he wants, but the most important point made to me was the word THREAT! I circled that one really big in my book. I for the life of me couldn’t come up with a word to describe the way our feel when I see my husband’s ex wife, or even before him, the feeling I got when my imagination went too far and my thoughts begin to take over and cause my dukes to go up. THREAT…The questions hit me the most in my life right now. What am I afraid of? What am I afraid of losing? Why am I afraid of being displaced? And then my added question? What is it about me that don’t think I’m good enough or deserve what I have? Why am I threatened? And lastly, I love this…Jeasouly is always a result of a perceived heart. And a threat always places a 911 call to insecurity. It all goes back to the heart…Thanks Mama!

  50. 850
    Debbie Kilgallin says:

    Debbie
    50s (barely)
    Rochester, MN
    1.False positive – my appearance
    2.Rachel. I’m not there now, but I used to believe that God didn’t like me as well as He liked several others, and that was devastating. I knew He was right. But thank you, Beth—it was through your introduction to "A Woman’s Heart, God’s Dwelling Place" that I finally realized that Jesus will one day turn His attention fully on me, look me in the eyes, and lovingly call me by my name! That has made ALL the difference.

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