Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Nancy 
Donna
Eldorado, Texas
65 yrs.
married
My false positive: if my first husband had not left me for a younger woman,I would be secure in my original family. Divorce & remarriage ALWAYS carries a 'stigma,' no matter what the cause.
2.) My insecurities are all over chapter 4. King Saul resonaes with me on one issue…being shy and standing out in a group. I was always the tallest (even among the boys!) in grade school. I would have hidden in the luggage if I could. I relate to the woman at the well…being divorced and remarried has its own insecurities.
Love you, Beth, and thank you for such an important book.
1. Prominent False Positive: Acceptance, what others see in me. If I were more intelligent, more knowledgable. Thin, do I look good enough. Did I do and say all things right for the situation that I was presently in. Degree in a different field.
2. Let the healthy secure part of me overtake my earthly vessel and let it drive my every emotion , reaction and relationship. Placing God's truth in place of my false positive. See what Jesus sees in me, looking through His eyes when He sees me.
3. Paul- He was used of God inspite of himself. I want Jesus= to be filled, used by Him inspite of myself. Unwilling to let my feelings, weakness and fears override my FAITH. I want the Holy Spirit to wrestle with me and my life until this is changed and I become the person/woman I had no Idea I could be.
Kim
North Carolina
Married
40
Aurora, IN
40's
Married
1) My "Prominent False Positive" would be
a) If I had a purfect shape I would be secure.
b) If my face was as youthful as when I was young
I would be secure.
c) If I was just a tad bit smarter, I would be secure.
2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until is drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship." When we allow God's truth to eclispse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us Ps.90:17
3) For me it would be Mose. I don't feel I'm smart enough like Mose to be able to talk to a group of people. I would be fearful of screwing it up.
Dear Beth,
I already answered my questions earlier… this posted comment is an added bonus. 🙂
As I stood in church singing today, remembering the things that so many of God's girls said on here and thinking of all the "insecure" girls that stood all around me, I couldn't help but think of something else that I've thought of so many times. We (God's people) are ALL insecure. But not in the bad way that it sounds. For every single time now (after years of thinking about this subject), every single time I think to say, "I am so insecure…." my mind automatically makes me reaize, I am! I am IN-secure in Christ!!!… for I am secure-IN Him! Jesus Christ lives IN me, therefore He's my IN-security! He's my security alone!
I've thought about it each time I've picked up this book. Today I couldn't keep myself from sharing.
Love you, Beth. And love all of these ladies that are struggling with the very same things that we all do. 🙂
1. My most prominent false positive: permanent weight loss being the key to happiness.
2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I relate to Moses. I've seen what God can do and know His faithfulness, but I will still say, "Yes God, but…." way too often.
My 15 year old son saw me reading this book and told me that every girl he knows desperately needs to read it. He wanted to know why this is such a prevalent issue for us. It was a great conversation.
Sharon
Aledo, TX
40s
Single
I made a comment yesterday afternoon, but I don't think I did the word verification before I submitted, so my comment didn't post. I'll try again…
Thank you, Beth for the words you share with us from our Heavenly Father.
I have 3 Prominent False Positives:
1. "I'd be secure if I had prestige, respect, acknowledgement and approval from the administration and my peers at work, friends, family, students and even strangers – in other words everyone!"
2. "I'd be secure if I were financially stable and debt free."
3. "I'd be secure if I maintained my weight around 130 lbs."
I personalized the challenge: Lord, let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Allow your truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in Your glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am.
AND – I wrote this on an index card to keep with me to read, re-read and memorize!!
I forgot:
Nancy
Houston, TX
late 50's
Married
1. My personal false positive: I really can't limit myself to one. I think weight is probably the biggest. If a woman is thin, I assume she has it all together. MY weight has always been an issue for me and refusing to fall victim to the world's system of dieting makes it even harder at times. I want so badly to have a normal relationship with food, to stop worshipping it. I have to pray over my portions, or my desire to eat for no reason at all. So if I woman is thin and doesn't have to starve herself to do it, aka, she eats normal foods in normal portions, I think everything else in her life must be perfect.
My second is motherhood. Some moms seem to have it all together and I feel like I am living on the coattails of grace every single second of every single day. My children are wonderful blessings but they are also as you would say the type who could "make Dobson cry". And I assure you, I do regularly. Goodness they are handfuls with a lot of life and sometimes that comes out at the worst possible time. So when I see a mom with five kids in the grocery store and I couldn't hear them once in the whole hour I was there, while mine were so loud the people buying produce while we were in the freezer section probably thought we were standing right next to them, I feel like such a failure as a mom. God is having to remind me daily that their hearts are in good condition and precious places, I cannot constantly judge my parenting based on the outward. But Lord Jesus, if it isn't tempting I don't know what is!! I've never been more humbled or in need of grace than I have since becoming a mother, AMEN??
2. Great I rambled so much on number one I forget the questions for number 2….
Okay, I checked someone else's answer and I see I am suppose to write the challenge:
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Probably a little bit of all of them to one degree or another. But reading this after Saul nearly dropped me to my knees:
"Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them."
Oh Beth, I live with this so regularly. I can work myself into a bawling, ugly cry, snotty mess at the thought of losing someone I love. And cancer scares the tar out of me. When I my children are new babies, for about the first six months, several times a day I become completely convinced that I am going to die and leave them behind and they won't be raised by me or know me or remember me and they won't know the things I've waited my whole life to teach them about Jesus. Once that season passes I go through phases of fear that I will lose them. It is horrifying. I am so prideful to think even if one of us did pass on that it wouldn't be to God's amazing glory or that His plan, just might, be better than mine.
Praise you Jesus for this book and for sending Miss Beth to this generation!
Great – now I am insecure about how dreadfully long this post turned out to be.
And again I forget:
Kim
Jacksonville, FL
early 30's
Married
40, married in Louisiana
I can relate to Lisa in Texas- I, too, worry incessantly about what other people are thinking about me. I even think the driver of the car behind me is thinking thoughts like "she is driving too slow." It's nutty.
My false positives are wealth and fitness. Whenever in a new situation, I compare myself to others in these 2 areas first.
I look forward to meeting the challenge of Ch. 3- to allow ourselves to see our beauty and worthiness as God sees us and to love ourselves and others as God does.
I relate most to Saul because I can have a very strong jealousy streak. I understand his conflicted feelings of admiration, but also of jealousy and anger.
Love this Journey!
Sarah, 30's
single
Dallas, TX
1) Can't really narrow down to one false positive, so I'll list them all: weight loss, marriage, motherhood, financially "secure"
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction & relationship.
3) Apostle Paul – because I think he didn't feel as spiritual sometimes as others thought he was. I'm not nearly as godly and "good" as many people think I am!
WOW. Do I ever need this book! Thanks for writing it, Mama Siesta! 🙂
1. My prominent false positive, I’m so ashamed to admit is financial security. I was raised by two people that worked hard all their lives to provide for nearly every whim and want of two little girls. While we were by no means wealthy, we never went without. My parents drove home the point that money doesn’t buy happiness, and I always (falsely) believed that I was very rational and level-headed about finances. I realized that I do tend to covet women (especially young, newly married ones – you know, has to be a completely accurate comparison or it “doesn’t count”- gag) who seem to have it financially together. Brand name clothes, never the same outfit twice, nice cars, etc etc. How embarrassing to be that shallow. But I’m ready to whole heartedly watch my Lord kick it to the curb!! Go God Go!
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
“May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.” Psalm 90:17
3. I am probably best described as a mix of Saul and Paul. Put someone right beside me that matches or excels what I consider to be my best qualities or strengths, and nothing will gnaw at every fiber of my being like thinking they are better than me. It’s humiliating and not only do I usually end up acting out on it, then I loathe myself over it- talk about a never ending circle! But I also struggle with what Paul struggled with in who I am in Christ. I fight my flesh EVERY DAY trying to convince myself (through everyone else) that I am “good enough;” that I do “get it.” When really, there’s no need to do “convince” anyone! What a maddening fight I’ve been circling. Thanks Mama Siesta for bringing all this to light and helping us in our fight. Like you said, LORD BE MAGNIFIED.
Blaine
Houston, TX
20's
Married
Married
40's
MN
1. My false positives have changed over the years. During this current season of life, I believe it's beautiful and financially secure people….[the combination of the two] However, praise God for His schooling over the years. This chapter is confirming the need to continue to seek the freedom/security found only in Christ. As my security in Him grows, the insecurities lose their power over me. Yea!!
In addition I'd say…..I can be tempted to think that when my family is part of a healthy church, life will be easier…..more fulfilling……as well as when the discipline of time is handled better in our home. Amazing how much these thoughts can affect our lives IF we let them 🙂 God has given me a beautiful family……a treasure indeed!!
2. God's Truth to eclipse EVERY false positive, that we may see as HE does!
3. Coming up with the biblical character was more difficult, so I think I'll choose Moses. I often must give myself a "pep talk" to convince myself I'm up to the task God has asked…….yet again…..God's grace in illuminating this weakness in myself years ago has given me courage, as I traverse this road called "life" : ) His grace "amazes" me!!
Thank you Beth for taking us to task on these issues. Your love for Jesus and the "girls" He puts in your path is beautiful!!
Molly
30's
married
Greensboro, NC
1)My PFP is my looks. I always want to look prettier, more "pulled together" and polished.
2)Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) I resonated most with Rachel. She had the looks and yet she was still insecure. Only God can bring true security.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
I would without a doubt say that I link together a woman’s weight and her own personal security and happiness. Because day in and day out weight is my struggle and what causes me the most fear and embarrassment, I have trained myself to think that anyone who is thin must be happy and have nothing to worry or fear or be insecure about. This is also confusing because when I have lost weight I have felt more secure and happy in being thinner. So this can be a bit confusing to think through.
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three?
That, beloved is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17, NKJV).
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure resonated with you most and why?
Beth, your commentary on Hagar and Sarai really resonated with me this week. Your statement, “Their conflict goes to show that monumentally foolish decisions can catapult you into insecurities you might have lived the rest of your life without.” Oh how I wish I didn’t know what this felt like. Lord, help me to believe you over lies. Let your Word fall afresh on me. You are my strong tower and my refuge. Praise You!
Kendall
Simpsonville, SC
30's
Married
Beth et. al…
1)"Prominent False Positive" for this season of my life it would be my weight. Why does looking good in todays standards weigh so heavy on us? My husband is constantly telling me he loves me for who I am but I cannot get over the weight gain and it does affect how I physically feel around him. However, I am working on it. My body is fighting me every inch and pound of the way but I have lost 9lbs, and over 19 inches in 7 weeks!!
2)"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every motion, reaction, and relationship."
3)I saw your queations before I finished chapter four and Paul was first on my mind. Maybe because I heard several messages with him lately. Like Paul, I have screwed it up…royally…yet, being unusable, God is changing that and using me. Daily I strive to die to self and become more like Him. It's a pretty painful journey. A treasured verse that I carry in my heart and that carries me through those tough days of insecurity…
"Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for the one the Lord loves rest between His shoulders" ~Deut. 33:12
And by the way….my cover is still on the book. HOWEVER, when my favorite Lifeway manger showed me the poster of this book that was soon to be released, I immediately shrugged it off. It was less than two weeks later that a "friend" rudely commented on my insecurities and the next day when your book did come out, I was there to get it. Gotta conquer this!! It's been a rude awakening directed by the Spiritu of God no doubt.
Pamela
46, married
Excelsior Springs, MO
1. My prominent false positive is my popularity and appearance (couldn't pick between the two)
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion,reaction, and relationship.
3. The Biblical character that resonates with me most is the Samaritan woman, bka the woman at the well. Why? Because I myself am on my 4th marriage. Although I was saved at an early age, I went down the wrong road in life in my early adult years, running from God. But He never gave up on me. After the
3rd divorce, I turned my life back over to Him and stopped "looking for love in all the wrong places". He transformed my life completely! I am now married to an awesome Christian man who is an excellent role model for my only child (son). I thought after 3 divorces that I had messed up too much for God to use me, though I desperately wanted Him to. I read the story of the Samaritan woman one day and saw it differently. If he could use her to save others in the town she lived, He can and wants to use me too 🙂
Lynn
Rochelle, Ga
40 yrs old, and happily married
Marsha, PA, 3 kids, 52, Married
My most prominent false positive(s) are appearance and education. I have never been comfortable in my own skin, always thinking that in order to be a real woman, you had to built a certain way. I continue to struggle with this even at the ripe age of 52. Oh, it is just a ball and chain to me. I hate it. It affects my relationship with my husband in different ways as well.
My other is education. I did not go to college and my constant struggle is "When will they (any one in particular) realize that I am not smart."
TO LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE AND COMPLETELY SECURE part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessel until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. God's truth MUST eclipse every FALSE POSITIVE and allow us to see Him and His GLORIOUS reflection in us.
I think I identify most with Moses. Although I have watched the Lord do AMAZING things in my life and the lives of so many, I will STILL answer him with "Oh no Lord, not me" for the next assignment. I am not _________ enough to do _________ (fill in the blanks).
I am a women's ministry leader in my church – how sad is this!
Marsha – 52 – PA – married, 3 kids and 1 GORGEOUS GRANDSON.
My most prominent false positive(s) are appearance and education. I have never been comfortable in my own skin and as I age, its not getting any easier. I struggle with my body type and think "its not womanly." It causes all sorts of issues between my husband and I.
The other is education. I did not attend college and that has always made me feel "less than". I usually have the tape that plays in my head saying "sooner or later they will all figure out how stupid you really are".
I WILL ALLOW THE COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF ME TO INCREASINGLY TAKE OVER THIS BODY, MIND AND SOUL UNTIL IT DRIVES MY EVERY EMOTION, REACTION AND RELATIONSHIP. GOD'S TRUTH MUST ECLIPSE EVERY FALSE POSITIVE AND ALLOW ME TO SEE HIM AND HIS GLORIOUS REFLECTION IN ME.
I identify most with Moses. I have seen the Lord work in mighty ways in my own life and in the lives of others YET, I still say "No Lord, not me, not this time, not for this assignment" each time He asks. I am a women's ministry leader (how sad is that) and I still do this. Lord have mercy on me and don't give up on me!
1. My prominent false positive would be prestige/opinion of others. I want to have something that I am good at that causes me to be praised and admired, just a little bit!!. My husbands family is so creative & they all work well with their hands. My husband & his twin are both dentists (they better work well with theirs!), his dad is a woodworker, his mom was a caterer, his sister is a musician. I just want the work of my hands to be sufficent.
2. Challenge: to let God's truth eclipse our false positives.
3. I identify most with Moses because I am a quiet person who doesn't like to be in the spotlight, (which is why my false positive is kinda ironic!). But I so don't want to miss what God has for me because I didn't obey.
Tesa
Perry, GA
40's
married
Michelle
Waukesha, WI
40's
Married
My most prominent false positive is if I were thin again everything else that I struggle with in my life would be gone. After losing a significant amount of weight, the Lord used car accidents, surgery, etc.to bring the weight right back to me. I feel like such a failure and believe that other people do as well! I did not learn to see myself the way He sees me the first time around so here I am again. I WILL learn it this time!!!
I identify with Paul as the fiercest enemy he had to fight was himself! I am so hard on myself.
The challenge would be to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive.
Thanks Beth for putting your insecurities into the form of a book. May the Lord bless you for being so vulnerable, we are so grateful!!!
Jillian
Centre, AL
20s
Married
1. My most prominent false positive? Probably financial security and the ability to be more outgoing so that more people would want to be around me. I feel that people don't like me or want to hang around me because of my quiet nature.
2. The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord will be upon us.
3. I identified most with Saul. I always feel like I'm not good enough to do what I do with things in my life and get jealous. I can also identify with Sarah and not being able to conceive. It's hard not to look at someone else and wonder why that can't be you or get jealous over what someone else has.
Anna
Houston, TX
20's – Single
Prominent false positive: body image. In a sense that once it's under control, everything else in my life would fall into place. For example – once I got my weight/looks under control, that perfect man would show up at my door and we'd live happily ever after. How wrong can I be???
Challenge:
To let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
The person I resonate with the most is Paul. All because of one word that speaks volumes – Pride.
Missy
42
Single
Sumter, SC
With Chapter 3 fresh on my mind, I'll answer questions from there right now. My prominent false positive is people tell me often how pretty I am and now that I'm 42, I'm starting to notice more wrinkles and loss of elasticity in my face and neck and honestly…it is freaking me out! I've realized that my "beauty" is what I feel makes me secure. I never realized how much attention I got from others because they think I'm pretty. I'm not liking this false security. 🙁 I won't always have my looks and may not always get the attention I'm "accustomed" to. I feel ridiculous even stating that. :/
And Beth..YES..to your comment on page 41 where you're wondering if anyone else has done what you did to Keith that day. Yes, yes, yes! I've been right there myself too many times to count!
2. The Challenge is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship!
p.s. Thanks for showing me that I'm insecure in more areas than I ever even realized!!! 😉
Deborah
50 (this year)
Married
New Milford
CT
1. My, what tends to be my “prominent false positive”? I have been thinking about this since it was posted and asked! I have to say I tried the list each in their own turn and nada! I have not found the one thing that would make me feel secure in all things as far as human resources go. Yet, I find it hard to place my self in the One that can make me by faith feel secure in all things. I think the answer of security will be in answering the questions asked to Moses in Exodus 4:11 “And the Lord said to him, Who made man’s mouth? Or who makes the dumb, or the deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Is it not I, the LORD.” AMP And even Moses still said, send by the hand of [some other] whom you will send…what can I say…there is always someone who can do it better than I!!
So, I guess my false positive would be “If I could just be some one other than who I am, I can be secure.”
2. I love this! “those in whom Christ dwells also have something deeper. Something whole. Something so infinitely healthy that, if it would but invade the rest of us, we would be healed.” YES!! YES!! YES!! “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are.”
3. Which Biblical figure (or statement made about him/her) resonated with me and why? Sarai would be the biblical figure, though I would not send my husband to another there are things from my past and from health issues that have made it hard for me to “give her guy what he wants” Fortunately I have a gentle and very patient man and together we are praying over our relationship… I believe God will answer both of our prayer (my husband's and mine) in that I receive healing that recreates an innocence and passion that was taken from me by sexual abuse. That in the answer He will awaken me to pure and precious intimacy as we continue seeking God's grace in this area. We will explore in wonder and awe in which he intricately made me, the past will never be erased; but touched by the grace of God, through the power of Jesus and God's grace through Him it will be healed and whole.
Yet the insecurity that comes with not being able to give him what is his to have and mine to give him often plays havoc within my mind. No there is no one else for him but me and there is no one else for me but him, God truly brought two unbelievers together and then brought them both to himself and now is working out himself through our lives toward each other…I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone…
Beth thank you for this book!
My own prominent false positive would be companionship. Not just marriage but having friends as well. I feel like I am surrounded by happy couples and people who have all these friends when I have no one. Only the Lord will make either of those happen because I’m not even comfortable around people my own age! I don’t know if it’s because growing up I was to “churchy” for my public school classmates or to “of the world” for the people of my legalistic church, or maybe it’s just been too long since I’ve had a real friend and even longer since I’ve been on an actual date! I’m desperate to have someone’s undivided attention, someone to call when my day is going really well or really bad. I’ve known even before starting this book that having a man in my life will not make me more secure, but I can’t help but think it would help a little bit.
The Challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Moses would definitely be the one I identify the most with. “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” Certainly there is someone else better equipped to do what God is asking me to do!
Joni
Bradenton,FL
25
Single
Marnie
30’s
Single
Berwyn, PA
It is sort of difficult to narrow my prominent false positive to one thing. At times I think it is popularity, others times I think it is a good man and other times it is prestige, but if I had to limited to one it is probably beauty. I struggle with the belief that beauty makes it easier to attain some of the other worldly desires.
The challenge – To allow God’s truth eclipse every false positive!
The Biblical figure that I most resonated with was Saul, especially his fear of the loss of admiration and power. I was struck with Beth’s comment about Saul and that fact that he had moments of awareness, wisdom; even conviction. He even wept over his actions towards David. But he refused to call out to God for deliverance from his own unhealthy emotions. Lord, I pray that my sisters and I will be women who cry out to you not with just regret but for deliverance that only You can bring!
Tammy, 46
Mount Pleasant TX
Married
1. My Prominent False Positive(-+) is if I were thinner, I would like myself more, my husband would desire me more, and people would like me more.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am and the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me!
3. Eve's insecurity really hit me as I tend to find my security in my wardrobe, and first impressions. However, the statment where Beth noted that "To Paul, the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of himself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the great work of God in him. The great work of God through him" hit me the hardest. I need to DAILY die to those insecure parts so that God can work through me and I will find my security in God and not myself!
Anita, 36, single-ish, Mansfield TX
I am so insecure that I do not have just one "Prominent False Positive". Imagine that. . .My primary false assumption is I believe that if I am nice enough and do enough that it will make up for my shortcomings. The other false positives include trying to be better educated (Just earned my bachelor's) which hopefully will equate to more money, and if I could lose 20 to thirty pounds.
I know my only security is in Christ. . .This lent I am doing Esther, Max's Fearless and So Long Insecurity. . .hopefully some of this Godly wisdom will sink in!
As far as which Biblical character that I most identify with. It would be Moses, but the woman of the well is a photo finish close second. I am a woman of ideas but no implementation as I too am too insecure to fulfill my destiny because of negative thoughts and lack of time. . . But also I am like the woman of the well thinking that a man will make me whole.
I so very much need Christ to let the healthy utterly whole, and completely secure part of me to increasingly overtake my earthly vessel until my Savior and Redeemer drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I need Christ to show me the treasure I have in Him and myself.
To quote Beth's earlier Bible studies, Thank you Jesus that I may not be where I want to be, but I ain't where I have been. Thank you Jesus – We are working it out!
1. My most prominent false positive is my weight and my looks.
2. The challenge in Chapter 3: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. I can relate to Moses. God has done some really powerful things in my life, yet I can find myself completely afraid to step out in ministry because I'm so wrapped up in what I'm NOT.
Sue
Ohio
40's
Happily married
My most prominent false positive is about knowing that I'm loved. My husband and I have been married over 34 years and he tells me all the time that he loves me but, because of a very insecure feeling about love from my parents, I constantly ask him if he still loves me and if I'm still worth it. Over the years, he's come to understand where this is coming from but I know that it bothers him. That also tends to cover who I think I relate the most to in Chapter 4–Leah.
Lisa, 30, married, Shawnee, KS
1.My prominent false positive would definiely be that I am unworthy. I chose that word because it encompasses a wide range of my most preveltent insecuriteis. Like: I am toofat, I a to ugly, I hate myself, no wonder God wont'f give me a baby, I am a mes, who would want to be me or even be arund me. So there you have it, I feel I am unowrthy no matter what my intellectual mind says my emotional sid always wins.
2.Challenge: Let the healthy, utterly whole & completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3.Hmm…back to infertility again. When you said "nothng makes a woman batle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he want" in reference to Sarai. And then again when revealing Rachel and Jacob in Genesis 30:1-2 "…she became jealous and said 'Give e children or I'll die!'" So true that when insecurity boiles when I feel God is treating me differently or punishimg me for my wrongs, in comparison to others. Those both stood out the most to me.
1. My "prominent false positive" is confidence.
2. Challenge: "Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Page 48: Sarai & Hager, particularly the line "we naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largely threatened by them" – ouch! That one hit a little too close to home. Also, page 55-56 (discussing the disciples) "The need to be considered greatest is always rooted in the gnawing fear that we're not." – double ouch.
I work in a corporate environment where climbing the "ladder" is expected and encouraged. My insecurity tells me that if I were more confident, I wouldn't need to despise my competition, and I wouldn't need to constantly try to prove myself as the greatest (while always fearing that I'm not, and will be replaced). Dear Lord, help a daughter out!
Crystal
Mid-20s
Married
Shippensburg, PA
Melissa
Ga
40's
single
My most prominent false positive is beauty. My mother told me when I was young that bec. I was athletic that women would never want me as friends and that men would never want me either.I have few friends but not many. Then she got sick and was for 30 yrs. (she passed away 5 yrs ago but God did some awesome healing between us before she died). If I just knew how to pick out clothes that looked good on me, I would be secure. I didn't get the clothes gene! Even my brother says that! So I hide in big clothes even though my counselor said I have a body to die for. I prayed for God to send me someone to help me pick out clothes but nothing so far so I buried all of it-until your book Beth! Thanks!
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
Leah – because she just so desperately wanted to be loved and accepted, just the way she was. I wasn't loved unless I was wearing a dress-which is where I feel the most uncomfortable. The first question mother asked is not when are you coming to visit but what are you wearing when you come. Ugh!
I can't wait for God to heal this area! It has been so encouraging to read all of the comments. I thought I was the only one who was insecure! I don't talk to many women except for superficial stuff even though I work with 100 of them! I know with God's help, He can heal this!
Sheri
KC MO
Age 30
HAPPILY married ( i love my man, he has the patience of JOB)
1.This darn book, I really thought I was pretty secure, but boy do I have alot of hidden insecurities. With that said, i think my false positive(s), i have two but they are probably related, are my looks and perfection. Growing up, my sister was "the smart one" and i was the "pretty one". My worth always was related to my looks or my likeability. Now that i am 30 and a married mother of 2, well, i don't look 16 anymore, and that is SOOOOO hard for me. I hate looking in the mirror, i can practically put on my makeup without looking in the mirror. I have crinkly skin around my eyes, and heaven forbid, big pores AHHH! I know that my looks aren't everything, but it's hard to let go of something that you held on to like a mad dog! My second False Positive is perfection. I hate when I mess up, or if someone see's me as, well, less than perfect. I am a pastors wife, and live my life in a fish bowl ( I really hate that term by the way) but never the less, I feel like I can't be sloppy, or go get the mail without full hair and makeup. And heaven forbid if my kids misbehave or me and my DH have an arguement. Well, I know the Lord is really working on my heart, and figuring out the false positives is the first step to changing them.
2. With question number 2, now that you all know I am not perfect, I can say I don't get this question. LOL. maybe I missed something or am reading it wrong, but my answer is HUH?
3. The biblical figure I feel most closely related to is Sarai. the reason I chose this woman is because of the statement on page 47 when beth said " nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants" thankfully, I was able to give him two beautiful children, and we haven't had to deal with infidelity issues, but I always feel like he is disappointed in me, not because of anything he has said, but because of my cruddy insecurity. I think the reason I feel this way is related to question #1, becausemy hubby knows I'm not perfect, and that surely must make me a disappointment. As I write this, I am seeing the relation…I feel like my hubby is disappointed in me because he know's i'm not perfect, and the reason I don't want people to see my imperfection is because I am afraid they will be disappointed in my…LIGHT BULB. Lord Jesus, please help me to get over these insecurities and give my hubby a break from having to make me feel good about myself.
I can't say how much this book has already helped me, I love all you ladies so much, and Beth, you are truly being used by Jesus to bless this insecure lady.
Love you
Sheri
I have been having a hard time trying to figure out how to write down my feelings on what i feel is my most pfp. I knew what it was but just not sure how to put it into words so here goes. Mine has to do with children. When i see others grown children living for the Lord, it makes me feel very insecure as a mom knowing that my 2 oldest have turned their back on God. It makes me feel that if they were walking with God than i did my job right but since they aren't i did something wrong.
Tricia
IL
30's
Married
1. My prominent false positive is: If I were thinner, I would feel more secure. After giving birth to twins, my body has just never been the same.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses – I have never been eloquent. Please send someone else to do it.
PFP: Beauty. And, to me, beauty has always equalled being thin. And thin is a word that does not describe me. Since junior high, I’ve been taller than all my peers (guys and girls), and 20 years later, I still am. So, I’m tall, but I’m also, let’s say, big boned. A couple of years ago, I went on a diet/exercise kick and lost lots of weight. I thought I would be so happy and at peace with myself, yet when I looked in the mirror, I still saw things I didn’t like. I became paranoid about eating and working out. I was terrified of gaining all the weight back. I wasn’t happy at all; I actually felt miserable and grumpy! A few months later, I was diagnosed with a medical issue and started on a lot of meds. Those meds helped my condition, but I also gained weight back. All that to say, it feels like a lose-lose situation sometimes. I was miserable when I was thinner, and I’m disappointed now when I have to buy bigger clothes. It’s made me realize my definition of beauty is skewed, and I’m relying on something that fluctuates daily to determine how secure and positive I feel.
The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly, whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Oh my, do I relate to Leah and Rachel. Even as a child, Leah was the Bible character who most resonated with me. I have a younger sister who is everything I wanted to be and more. Although I’m older by five years, guys my age or older would meet her and fall head over heels in love without even giving me a second glance. It seemed that girls even wanted to be her friend and not mine. We’re grown now and best friends, but only recently I’ve started to have peace about me being me and my sister being herself. We’re complete opposites, but we’re both really cool people with unique things to offer. A lot of destruction and heartache came out of Rachel and Leah’s jealousy-filled relationship, and I have no desire to cause such yuckiness because of my insecurities – 'cause that's what it is: insecurity. And not just in my relationship with my sister, but in many other circumstances and relationships, too.
Michelle in TN; 30s and single
I deal with debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. sometimes they are random, but often they are jump-started by my feeling that I've done or said something wrong. This is insecurity to a whole worse level. I'm working on it. I know God's got my back, but after 6 years of struggling with this, I'm just tired. I need healing. Thank you, Beth. And let's win this one, Siestas!
Lori
Helena, MT
30s
Married
My prominent falsse-positive is a newly-built home. I start looking a models when the Parade of Homes comes around. I see the new designs, the newness of it all, start thinking life will be better.It's so not true. It is God in your heart that makes it feel like home!
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessles until it drive our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
Paul, one of my favorites in the bible, as for him like me, his fiercests enemy was himself. So often I get in my own way towards fulfilling my own destiny.
Just a quick aside, the new Sunday sermon series during Lent is "Parallels of Paul." Also, God's GALS will soon be starting "Me, Myself and Lies." We just announced it this week and we already have a dozen ladies signed up! God is so amazing!
Mary Ann
Woodbury, MN
40's
Married
1. Prominent False Positive: Thinness. I struggled with anorexia for years. God has set me free from that bondage after intense seeking and obedience even when the fear of obeying was crippling. So any women who are struggling with an eating disorder, let me say- YOU CAN BE VICTORIOUS and FREE. Don't let satan tell you otherwise.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses- I know God has gifted me with several specific things. I pray to be able to use them and tell him to send me to do whatever needs to be done. However, when the opportunity comes, I NEVER want to participate. I usually will do whatever it is, but there is a lack of wanting to. I find it so puzzling. I know its insecurity in me being able to pull through which is actually pride and unbelief. I have to stop thinking its ME who is going to get things done; it is definitely all about HIM! Sorry I am working this out in my head as I write! ha! Oh thank you Lord for your grace!
Amanda
24
Married
Rockingham, NC
I could not find a common denominator for my false positive, either – It seems like the list just goes on and on!
Thank you, Jennifer from Ohio – for examining along with us and for commenting. I see now I am probably where you are, too – The common denominator is I am insecure of people who are secure (or SEEM to be…like Beth said, maybe they actually are struggling with insecurity the most/more than we are/the same as we are). Why would we envy them? But those that we really think ARE truly secure – yes, I wish I was like THAT. And it makes me insecure that I'm not. But…it also said in one of the chapters(can't remember which one), that we shouldn't go down that road of being insecure in our insecurities. So I'm trying to focus on that…It is SO difficult when you long for security like we do.
cheryl
ms
52
married
1. being able to put into words, publicly what I am thinking or want so desperately to teach,… then I would be secure. 🙂
2. Allow Gods truth to eclipes every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have. there in His glorious reflection we'll see the treasure we are. (thank you)…I think I will tweet that to my daughters 🙂
3. Moses ( see above ) ha
p.s. It is Sunday afternoon…I have had a very eye opening weekend as to just how insecure I am in others areas as well. ( thank you God for mother-in-laws)
Forgive me for doing this anonymously, but I think you'll understand (and it's because I've learned discretion and I don't have to air all by B.C. laundry with everyone~thank you for that, not because of shame). I almost hit the floor when I read the paragraphs about swinging. Women need to read this and know the truth!
My husband and I were involved in this lifestyle for a while. Everything you said against it is VERY TRUE. In my case, I would do anything to obtain someone's approval and this was just another way to do it. Praise God for taking away the lifestyle and any of the desires that accompanied it. Most importantly, praise Him for forgiving me and for showing me His way is so much better than my own way.
I don't know if this will make it past the approve comment stage and if it doesn't, I'll understand since it's not really on topic but I just wanted to say thank you for including the topic in your book. Too little is written in Christian books about poor deceptive choices we women make. I don't think you'll know how many women might read that and think twice about what is going on in their lives. Talk about walking in deception…this one is HUGE.
I just love you to pieces. Thank you for being the servant you are and helping me grow in my relationship with God.
PFP: I have a quiet personality. Is that ok? Should I be more outgoing? If everyone were truly secure, would we ALL be outgoing people? In other words, is it my personality that makes me shy/don't like to be in the spotlight/don't like talking to people before and after Sunday School – just wanna get out of there – or is my insecurity that makes me shy/not want to talk?
With my husband I feel like a completely different person – very outgoing and funny – he laughs at my jokes all the time and reaffirms me in that way – why can't I be my funny self in public? I feel so uptight in public. Why am I insecure about my personality if I know deep down that I really do, truly love myself and who God has made me to be? I just don't get it.
Heidi
Lindale, TX
50's Married
1. As I read over the list of "prominent false positives" several seemed to go together and all revolve around being accepted and having everyone "like me." I am not quite sure why that is so important but most of the time it really makes me unsettled if I think someone is mad at me or doesn't like me–even when I feel sure in the Holy Spirit that I did not do anything deliberately to offend them.
2.I must allow God's truth to override every false positive and let my eyes spring open to a deeper revelation of the treasure I have in knowing Him and being fully accepted by Him–even to the extent that He calls me His treasure! WOW! That should be enough.
3. I guess I would have to say that I can relate to Saul in a new way after reading about him in light of insecurity. Maybe my wanting everyone to "like me" is really pride…thinking more of myself than I ought to think. Saul surely did that–and so did Paul. Thank you, Jesus, that you use your word to work in my heart!
chris
pensacola, fl
40's
single/divorced for many years
my prominent false positive is very confusing to me, because it's "If I only had a man in my life, my life would be perfect." And, my life is so very near perfect right now – however, my behavior toward actually having a relationship or even my friends who "sacrifice" so much to find or for their current relationships is very contrary to my desires. I want "Mr Right" in my life, but if I ran him over with my car I'm pretty sure I wouldn't recognize that it was him. I'm just at a loss about this! I'm a smart woman who loves God and has faith that He has a plan for me. Ya'd think I'd be past this by now.
1) I’d been thinking about this question since it was posted and had come up with what I considered to be my prominent false positive. Actually narrowed it down to a couple with power being the number one. Not that I want to “run a corporation or have people jump through hoops” for me, but if I could just control my circumstances things would be great and insecurity wouldn’t be a problem. That was my answer to the question but as I finished cleaning up after dinner this evening it became clear to me that power/control isn’t my PFP… If I had a husband who really cared about me I would be secure.
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) I can relate most to Moses. Lord, send someone else to do it, I’m not the right person for the job.
Diana
North Attleboro, MA
60's
married
Tina
Parachute, CO
30's
Married
When I started thinking of my "prominent false positive" I ran through the whole gambit of; weight, looks, security, education. All of it but the one that hit me the hardest is this; if I could just get more organized my whole life would fall into place. I think this is a control issue 🙂
The Challenge, rewritten; God's truth is the healthy, whole, completely secure part of me that if I let it will consume my whole being. If allowed it will take captive every emotion, reaction and relationship. God will be my light and there will be no room for anything else.
I relate to Leah and her feelings of hopelessness, but the statement about Paul and his unwillingness to let his weaknesses, feelings, and fears override his faith and like us the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself.
I am learning that I do not have to be a prisoner to my thoughts and feelings.
Christine
40
Warren MI
Single
1) Prominent False Positives: Weight and quiet personality
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3) Moses and Paul
There are some insecurities going on inside of me and as I read this book there are times where I feel overwhelmed, pain and cry. I put the book down and then come back. There is something going on deep down inside of me…I know there is and has been for quite a while. I'm scared to find out what but realize it needs to be confronted head on otherwise it will continue to eat away at me and not allow me to be the person God created me to be. Lord I pray for our friend and helper, the Holy Spirit, to guide me and work inside of me until this has changed me.