Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
dani and joey snare 
1. Prominent False Positive: Weight- I know I believe that if I could lose weight I would be more secure in many areas.
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, whole, and secure part of us (Christ) overtake what drives every other part of us.
3. Biblical figures: Sarai and Hagar. This is the part that got me thinking. "We naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largely threatened by them." This has happened with me in friendships-not in my marriage. I like to have a few close friends rather than a large groups of friends . I've become jealous when I've felt threatened that my close friend might be closer to someone else than me.
Alicia
Rome, GA
29
Married 7 Years
Melanie
TN
30's
Married
First, I just want to say that I am so glad that you titled the book as you did. I needed something to scream "INSECURITY!!!" at me… I don't do subtle đ
1. My PFP is definitely my appearance. I always think that if I looked beautiful or dressed nicer, that I would be more confident which would make 'everything' better: relationships, career, marriage, friendships.
2. Challenge — To let the light of God's truth shine down into my thought closet and expose all of the lies I have been telling myself. To see the treasure I have in HIM and to find my worth in his precious reflection.
3. I definitely relate most to Sarah. I feel jealous about other women and sometimes very inadequate.
Brittney
Pflugerville, TX
20's
Married
1. my "false positive" would definitely have to be success or the "it" girl – the one who has it all. Because, I don't believe I "have it all". I'm starting up a photography business and I hate to admit that I get really down when someone doesn't choose me to photograph their family, kids, wedding – whatever the case. But even worse, other friends that are photographers… if they get a wedding or whatever and I don't, I get so jealous and feel like I'm not good at what I do… ugh!
2. to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. It would definitely be a toss up between Moses and Paul… thinking I'm not good enough but trying to prove that I am :/
Cynthia
Aynor,SC
49
widow-22yrs
1. If I were a size 8 again. I'd feel good about myself and wouldn't care a lot about what people think of me. That sounds bad to put it on paper.
2. I am who God says I am
3.Leah, Surely my husband will love me now. What do I have to do for someone to love me again? If my husband was still alive, he did love me. That alone still helps me. Somebody that had flesh on loved me at one time. No what, I knew he loved God more than me. There was security in that!!!!!!
Amanda
Olive Branch, Ms
40's single
My false positive is my weight issue. I've struggled with it my whole life, 20-30 pounds over where I should be, on and off diet pills. I think if it's perfected, then my life will be perfect; I'll finally get married again.
My challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's TRUTH to eclipse every false positive (my weight) and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are!
The Biblical character I most relate to is Sarah. I am a people pleaser and I'm not very patient in some areas of my life. In turn that lead Sarah and me to "impulsively dumb" decisions, that then lead to further insecurity and consequences. It's a Vicious Cycle. I truly desire to be free, by God's strength and dignity over me, I will be free.
:-)Blessings Everyone, I love reading all you share.
Chris
Tucson, AZ
56
Married
ONE of the several – Prominent false positives – weight.
From those mentioned – I think I feel most like Hagar – not in any, slave-girl, marital or childbearing way – but in the way that dissapointment brings about discouragement and despair.Hagar is rejected by others, she lifted up her voice in her desert times and calls to God for help. God hears her,and answered and provided for her.
1) My most prominent false positive could be wrapped in the word control. I see that it seeps into every part of my life. I want to have schedules and organization and routines. I want to handle everything with ease. And, I want to control outcomes. The funny thing is, I don't think I have ever held to these things for even one day! I've set myself up to fail!
For the past month I have been on bedrest and looking to be the remaining three of my pregnancy. God is definitely taking all control out of my hands! He's up to something good.
2. Our challenge is to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll see the treasure we are.
3. I believe I connected most with Saul. Beth's quote, "Insecurity's expertise is hiding its victim in some baggage," struck a chord. So many times, my reactions are based on my baggage… and I hide behind it rather than be real or vulnerable. Saul was also obsessed with losing something. Again, because of past pains, I continually prepare myself to lose people dear to me. I'm ready to respond with His "divine power, wisdom, and clarity of thought."
Heather
Ironton, MO
20's
Married
Shelly
Colorado Springs, CO
40s
Married
I forgot to mention I am a newbie
1. Prominent False Positive – weight and success.
2. Challenge – To allow myself to believe that God does cherish me, does find me valuable! To allow myself to know and feel and believe that He didn't just save me and move on, but that I am worth something to Him.
3. I think Saul resonates most with me. I often want to be around people who are successful and intelligent and then become jealous because it makes me feel I am not as successful and intelligent, so I start to nitpick at their abilities to undermine them.
Paula K
Muskegon, Michigan
40's
Married
1. Prominent False Positive: physical apppearance
2. The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Biblical Character: Moses. Oh how I wish I could be articulate and eloquent. I am the facilitator of my Bible study group and feel like a failure after each meeting.
Danielle
Schaumburg, IL
20s – Married
1. Prominent False Positive – Yikes! My appearance. I always think, "If I can look like this… go to the gym this many times a week… wear this certain outfit… I will look amazing and be happy." I find myself always comparing and finding "areas" of improvement. Dear Danielle, "You are made perfect – in HIS image." Love, Me. Oh, my deep insecurities in my looks . . .
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, untterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Character: Moses. Wow – He saw God work in some major ways and still disobeyed even when God continually gave him promises and of course, came through. How OFTEN do I see God work and move in my life. . . then continually disobey and be reluctant to take the next step and believe. Oy vey. Moses was such an amazing Godly leader – leading the Lord's chosen people and still failed in areas of insecurity. Who/Where am I leading where my insecurities are causing sin in my life and possibly bringing others down? What a great lesson.
Abby
Wolcott, IN
20s
Single
1. I think my false positives depend on my circumstances, as I look back on my past. Right now I live at home with my parents and security for me would be living a life out on my own…filling my life with the relationships and activities and the fullness that I expect life to be when I'm out on my own and I see other people my age doing. I think singleness is a big part of that too, and feeling like I'm alone and removed from the community of friends and church family and co-workers I'd like to have in my life. Which makes perfect sense when I think about the answer to question 3!
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I relate to all these stories but I especially connected to the line about Saul that said he refused to call out to God for deliverance from his unhealthy emotions. I have let worry and fear and feelings of inferiority and disappointment take over my life in some ways and thankfully God is delivering me from that…even today! But I didn't realize or trust God could or would handle my destructive thoughts and emotions and heal me!
Danielle
Schaumburg, IL
20s – Married
1. Prominent False Positive – Yikes! My appearance. I always think, "If I can look like this… go to the gym this many times a week… wear this certain outfit… I will look amazing and be happy." I find myself always comparing and finding "areas" of improvement. Dear Danielle, "You are made perfect – in HIS image." Love, Me. Oh, my deep insecurities in my looks . . .
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, untterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Character: Moses. Wow – He saw God work in some major ways and still disobeyed even when God continually gave him promises and of course, came through. How OFTEN do I see God work and move in my life. . . then continually disobey and be reluctant to take the next step and believe. Oy vey. Moses was such an amazing Godly leader – leading the Lord's chosen people and still failed in areas of insecurity. Who/Where am I leading where my insecurities are causing sin in my life and possibly bringing others down? What a great lesson.
Most prominent alse positive -Credentials would make me secure.
Which Biblical figure resonated with you the most and why?
A. Paul â Because I always feel inferior in the presence of âsuper apostlesâ Those with more Biblical acuity than I (perceived or otherwise).
Tammy
Cleveland, TN
48
Marred
Darcie
Sheridan, Wy
married
I have worked with a christian life coach and these are two of my most false beliefs/positives/codes of survival
-the only way I am heard is to be a drama queen and I will be visible
-I don't really know what I am talking about I am just a fraud
-when I feel empty I have to grasp whatever I can
I have found I am God's treasure who is shining grace, focused creation,empowered knowledge,endured strength, and heavenly joy
Biblical character would be one who is really not talked about. Lot's wife. Always looking back and not trusting in Him. Not listed in the book but first thing that popped into my head.
Kelly
Bethlehem, GA
30s
Engaged
1. My prominent false positive would be: seeing others at the same age as me having accomplished so much in their life that I haven't and would want. (married, kids, financially stable to be able to shop freely and take vacations).But then after reading I wonder why can't I just be happy with where God has put me right now! if any of those are in His plan for me why can't I just trust Him! I have a beautiful house that I have bought all on my own,I have a car paid for, I have little debt. So with all those wants that I see in others I know that they don't bring happiness…what will though is believing in Him and that He will provide me with what He has planned for me in His timing!
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationships.
3. I can relate to each a little. But I think Eve because I at times find myself covering up in my own insecurity. Whether it be hiding behind my clothes or even hiding from venturing out to meet a friend or go shopping just because I don't like the way I look or feel. I have let my insecurities rule me for way too long!!!!
Leslie
Morristown,TN
50's and married
I had decided that my prominent false positive was financial success, but….I had no sooner finished reading Chapter 3 SHE DOESN'T LOOK A CERTAIN WAY when my husband arrived home with the mail and his latest issue of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. Yep, you guessed it: the swimsuit issue!! (Doesn't God have a delicious sense of humor and timing?) My once gorgeous hour-glass figure (after reconstructive ab surgery 10 yrs.ago)is now pear-shaped. I am not allowed to do stomach crunches, so I am stuck with this belly that makes me look about 5 months pregnant (doctor said he rearranged my intestines–thanks, doc!!!) Anyway, I now must say that my prominent false positive is beauty—I miss my flat stomach so much. My husband is so understanding and knows how much I miss my flat stomach, so he told me he would give me the swimsuit issue when he was finished with it, and I could shred it or do whatever would make me feel better. So when he pushes his eyeballs back into their sockets, I am heading to the back lawn with that issue and a book of matches—burn baby, burn.
Our challenge: to allow our secure parts to hunt down, chase, and overcome our insecure parts–then we can say "You've come a long way, baby."
I think the Bible character I most identify with is Moses–reluctant to go into new situations and leave my comfort zone even though my head tells me that God is with me. I tend to love a rut, afraid to go to Egypt and rescue the Israelites. And yes, I understand Saul's jealousy–all those women with flat stomachs!!!
Candace
30 yrs old
Tennessee
Single
1)Beauty would make me secure.
2)To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3)Saul- Hiding in the baggage, because he didnât have the faith to believe that he was who God was calling him.
Lucinda
Watsontown, PA
30's, married
1. Beauty
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completley secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3.The person from the Bible I relate to most is probably Paul and his dizzying pschological zigzag of belittling himself and boasting in himself. The fighting the feeling that I am not as good as others who haven't done nearly as much wrong.
I also can relate to threat that you talked about with Sarai and Hagar.
Messed up what Beth asked for in the challenge – oops!
2. Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Melanie, 30's & married
Wenham, MA
1. Finanical security & my weight
2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive & let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. I identified most with Leah & Rachel, having to share their husband. My husband is a coach of 20 women, and though I certainly don't have to share him in the same way that Leah & Rachel shared Joseph, sharing my husband's time & energy with 20 college women is sometimes really difficult for me.
Beth, you asked on page 41 if anyone else ever tries to get their husband to volunteer info without asking the question (because it just doesn't count if you've got to ask!) and I just couldn't stop laughing as I read that little story, because I am guilty as charged! Same results, too, by the way! Thanks from the bottom of my heart for writing this book!
Amity
Williamsburg, VA
30's
Married
1. Prominent false positive – outgoing, confident social skills/self confidence.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3. Moses would be the biblical figure that resonates with me the most. I often feel that some of my insecurities hold me back from what God is asking me to do. I sometimes don't have faith in myself eventhough God has faith in me.
Lauren
Stevenson, AL
20's
single
1. I cannot honestly pick one prominent false positive. I have some issues that I really need to work through. Beauty and having a man to be there for me those are my biggest prominent false positives.
2. Let the healthy, whole and completely secure part us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Allow God's truth to eclipse ever false positive and let our eyes open to the treasure we have.
3. I think I relate most with Hagar and Sarai. I feel threatened daily. Is someone going to take away my job, my man, my money, etc. I live in fear of losing. I have lost all these things before and I am threatened daily by losing them again. I have fear and anxiety about be hurt and having to deal with the hurt again. I now deal with depression anxiety as a daily part of my life do to these things I have went through. Therefore, I feel threatened that someone is going to waltz into my life and take all these things away from me.
Oops! Sorry
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Tammy
Cleveland, TN
48
Married
Elizabeth, Charlottesville, 20s, Single
1. My prominent false positive is popularity. I feel like I would be more secure if I felt like more people liked me and wanted to hang out with me. Hopefully, that makes sense.
2. The challenge: To let the health, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I related most to Saul in the sense that I am afraid of loss — of friends, family, my standing at work, etc., and I always want to be in control.
Chris
Joshua, TX
48
Single
1. My 'prominent false positive' is losing weight – If i was thin & physically fit I would be secure. I know that this won't be all that it takes, but I feel that if I could change this one thing everything else would be easier to deal with. I also identified wiht the statement – 'The more careful we are about what we're projecting, the more driven we ten to be by fear.'
2. The Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. The statement that resondated most with me was about Paul being 'enormously used by God in spite of himself'. I often feel like my own worst enemy after struggling with fears & insecurities, that I allow to grow out of control, to stop me from doing what I need and want to do.
Pam, 41
Married in GA
My false positive is appearance/beauty. I've always been thin, but I had gained weight over the years and especially in my late 30's. No one would have ever said I was overweight (I am 5'6" and weighed 135 lbs. at my heaviest), but I felt so bad about myself that my wardrobe changed, my personality changed, and my relationship (intimacy) with my husband changed. I've lost weight now and I feel better about myself, but I feel so shallow that I let my looks control me so much.
2. The challenge to me is that I need to let God clean out my thought closet (Me, Myself and Lies). Let Go and Let God
3. I identify most with Eve, in feeling insecure about her body. I can relate to not wanting to be nude in front of my husband.
1. I have to say weight, I be happy if I only lose 10 lbs!
2. The Challenge to believe God, And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us(psalm 90;17, NKJV)
3. I identified most with Moses because I have a hard time with words they come out backwords.
Linda
Bartelso, IL
50's
Married
Married
30's
1. My prominent false positive is beauty. It's taking a lot more work to look "presentable" than it did in my 20's. I also feel that if I look put together, people will think I've got it together in every other area of my life. I've spent so much of my life feeling awkward, I'm afraid of people seeing me as I truly am and not liking me.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's Truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will also see the treasure we are.
3. Moses because although I have seen God do AMAZING things, I still doubt myself in fulfilling His plan for my life.
Cori
San Angelo, TX
30
Married
1. Prominent false positive-not only the appearance of myself, but also the appearance of my family. I tend to dwell on how well other families "have it all together".
2. The Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and complete secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. I most identified with feeling most insecure over others success. By no means am I saying I would ever want to hold anyone back or ever stop rooting them on to success. I am very, very proud of others but deep down get more depressed with myself for not doing as well. It is very sad to say that I worry that others have a so much better prayer life or they have a much better study/quiet time than me. This worry has nothing to do with competition, but insecurities that I may not be doing the "right" things for the God I have so much love for. I think they call people like me people pleasers…..I just want everyone to be happy…..even my God!!!
Ann
Morelia, Mexico
30's
Married
1. I would have to choose prominent false positives. The first being a "great" relationship with my husband. If I could just communicate better with him, praise him more, parent better, etc, etc, etc…then everything else would be okay. A close second would be losing those extra pounds…
2. If we have Jesus in our lives, then security is in us to be had, we just have to claim it, and then claim it again, and then claim it again, and then again, until His security in us overshadows the insecurity in us.
3. Tough choices on this one, but I think that I would probably choose Paul, because "he was a complex mound of clay just like the rest of us, belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag." In the blink of an eye, I can go from feeling too good about myself, to thinking I'm the worst human being on earth. It's crazy, and I would monumentally argue that I am my biggest enemy in fulfilling the destiny God has laid out for me.
This is a wild and crazy journey for me, but I am ready once and for all to be sold out on the security of Christ Jesus.
First thing: There was a time when God took me to a far away land (literally 10,000 miles away from home) for a complete year. In that time He revealed one thing after another that I needed to work on. I remember exclaiming, "If You show me one more thing, I'm not sure I can handle it, and I might just jump off a bridge." I feel the same thing all over again as I go through this book.
Question #1 – I am feeling so insecure in so many areas of my life right now that it was extremely difficult to know what my "prominent false positive" was. I really struggled through it. I finally decided to prioritize as this was suggested. I've decided that if I had financial success it would be the core to the other areas I'm feeling so insecure about.
Challenge: When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have (Jesus), there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are (His beloved child). And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. Psalm 90:17. I hope it was OK to add my thoughts in parenthesis.
Question#2 – I wasn't sure if we could choose any Biblical figure we resonated with or only with those mentioned? I've always felt as if I resonate with Joshua. I love that he was a warrior, yet God had to encourage him that He would be with him and he should not be fearful, but be courageous. If we were to choose one written about, it would have to be Moses. I always think my abilities are not adequate enough for service. I'm grateful that God has been patient with me and has taught me that He completes us in our weaknesses. My faith is so much deeper in Him than in myself.
Traci, 40's, Married, Corona – CA
1. my prominent false positive is appearance. I feel like if I dressed better, had better hair, thinner, nicer teeth and apparantly the MONEY to get all of these things then I would be secure. As we learned that won't do it!
2. The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. I relate to Moses. I feel insecure in my ability to do what God has called me to do. I always tell myself I don't have the biblical smarts to do these things.
Mary Katherine
Athens, AL
20's
Married
Gigi
West milton, Ohio
50's
Married
My false positive is performance in relationships. The more I do for people the more they will love me. It started with my dad. He created that in me. We always had to compete for his love and now it has carried over into my adult relationships.
I identify with Hagar. I always seem to be taking on the task then resenting the other person who benefits from it. Thinking somehow that performance equals love. It is awful to feel like you have to compete for love.
To let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Thank you Lord Jesus for knowing me full well and loving me anyway. I love you back.
Sarah
Louisville, KY
40's
Married
My Prominent False Positive is thinness. I got a lot of positive attention in my thinner days and often feel like everything would be perfect if I could lose 10, or even 20 pounds.
Our challenge: "To let healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
I think Saul's fear of loss and the jealousy that followed resonated most with me. I tend to compare my self with others constantly and rarely feel that I measure up – in appearance, ability, or just about anything else. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and I have no reason to think he would leave me, but sometimes even the smallest things can cause my imagination to go wild and lead me to a place of fear and anxiety. I'm sure my husband will be so relieved when I can finally get a grip on my insecurity.
April
Lake Charles, LA
30s
Married
1. My prominent false positive is popularity. Most of my other false positives (beauty, performance, thinness) stem from my ridiculous desire for other women to like me and choose my friendship.
2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE.
3. I related so much with your statement about Saul: "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken away from them." There have been so many times in my life that I have not allowed myself to revel in God's blessings lest I become too attached and hurt too much if/when they were taken away.
My prominent false positive–there are many that are contenders, but I suppose it boils down to believing that my life's value will decline as I age (looks are fading, wrinkles appearing, fat not budging…)I look in the mirror and think, how did this happen??? Who will value me?
The challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I can identify with Saul. Terrified of losing what is dear to me, that it will be taken from me.
Tammi
40's
Missouri
married
Beth
30's
Married
OH
1. Admiration.
I watched the entire BBC production of _Pride and Prejudice_ this past weekend. Love that story. Realized I love it b/c Darcy loves, admires, pursues, defends, rescues, appreciates and studies to deeply know Elizabeth.
I was analyzing why I love the story so much and realized I want all of that from my husband. (poor man!) When that doesn't work so well (how could it?!) I look to my children, friends, ministry contacts….etc to provide that admiration.
I can be very (quietly) competitive. I have admitted to my mother and husband that I almost always want to be the "E-S-T". Meaning the cuEST, smartEST, funniEST, wisEST….you name it….in any given group of women. It's awful.
The great break-thru was when I realized that I have ALL that Darcy exhibits and much more—perfectly—from my Lord Jesus. Thank You Father! I can let go of the E-S-T b/c I belong to You–the ultimate E-S-T!
2. Our challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessles until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let your eyes spring open to the treaure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3. Hard to choose. Probably Leah/Rachel b/c I'm studying their story right now in Genesis. What a MESS.
The part about if you are wishing harm as Saul did—get help, is a great tool.
Have to add, I've been in several groups of women while reading this book. I go back and forth between being more aware of my own insecurities to seeing how others betray their own. Fascinating! And I am so grateful to know I'm not alone!! I really thought it was just me.
Thanks!
Jess from Huntington Beach, CA
20's and married
AMAZINGGGG chapters, Beth!!!
1. my false positive is everything on the example list. but the most prominent one isn't on there. I think mine is the ideal of the "perfect life and happiness", and the inability to control someone else's behavior. I think, why don't they act like ME… or at least like I want or expect them to. But the irony is that when they DO act how I want, I'm threatened by it and I'm insanely insecure about other people's success and that someone or something will be taken away from me. sheesh… that was hard to admit.
2. my challenge is to let the ounce of good that's hidden be revealed and overshadow the insecurity. I am desparate to be WHOLE and HEALTHY. I want to be driven and controlled by TRUTH and what GOD says and wants for me… which is NOT insecurity.
3. I identify with Saul… aka the most insecure man award winner. I'm terrified to loose my job, my husband, my parents… you name it, I live in fear or having it taken away. and I totally identify with the conflict and confusion in Saul's soul, because the people I despise and who threaten me the most, I end up exalting and encouraging (with wrong motives). I also identify with Sari and the threats of another woman. I've been married for 8 months and my husband is a personal trainer and I'm SCARED TO DEATH that he'll find a client or someone with a better body much more attractive… I cannot even wait to read on and get rid of this horrific thing that's been in my life for WAY too long.
Karen
51
married
Tennessee
1) My prominent false positive would be that to be the "perfect" wife and mother…..I need to be cool, calm, collected and curvy in all the right places…not to mention 20 pounds lighter!
2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3) I can relate to Paul….certainly the greatest enemy I feel like I have had to face in the fulfillment of my destiny is myself.
Bonnie
Williamsburg, VA
40's
Married
1. My prominent false positive throughout my earlier years was a man would make me secure and feel loved. However it left me in the pit. I had to find that only God would fill this need and show me true love and security.
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3. I identify with Rachel/Leah more in my past but now days more with Paul. Especially with the dying to self so I can learn to be an open vessel and do God's will in my life. Life is hard and trying to learn to react like Jesus would and not defending myself and letting go and letting God be in control is something I am striving for. I really like the sentences from the book that states. . ."Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." I pray that God will give me the stength, wisdom and revelation to overcome this.
Patty
Lakeport, FL
40's
Married
1. My prominent false positive is looks which would lead to popularity. So I compensated with education. (This was during high school). Now I catch guard myself against taking pride in my education, "lording" it over others, even my husband!!
2. Our challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The biblical figure I most relate to is Paul. I used to really not like him. Once I quit "playing" church and really began a relationship with Christ and His word, I found my dislike of paul was because he and I are so much alike!! The statement that resonated with me the most is "a complex mound of clay…. belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag. I could insert my name there! My problem, though, is that most of the belittling takes place inside my head, while the boasting has no problem coming out my mouth!!
My most prominent false positive: a mix of financial/credentials and beauty. I have watched most of my friends my age finish college, start their careers, get married and have kids. I'm almost 30 and haven't finished school yet, am single and in a barely above minimum wage job. Then, not being my ideal weight makes me feel even worse about the above stated insecurities. All of my feelings are just intertwined and feed off of each other. I just don't feel good enough.
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
I think I relate most to Moses. My above insecurities make me feel so inadequate. In a worldly sense, I don't measure up to it's success. It's hard b/c it makes me feel spiritually that those insecurities hold me back in some way from being used by God.
Welcome to my thought life…
Karina
Baton Rouge,La.
20's
Single
1. My prominent false positive is probably my personality. I feel that if I were more outgoing and confident in myself around others then I would be more secure with who I am.
2. The challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessel until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship" and to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."
3. Moses' struggle with insecurity hit home with me. I can relate to not being eloquent in speech. So many times I worry about "not saying the right thing" and sometimes I think that I miss opportunities for God to work through me because I'm too afraid to speak for fear that I will say the wrong thing. But, praise God, He is compassionate, gracious, abounding in love and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6). I know He will not give up on me just as He did not give up on Moses.
Emily
Topeka, KS
20's
Single
Barbara
New Orleans, LA
30's
Married
1.Prominent false positive – Position of Authority. I tend to beleive someone would have to be confident and secure to be in that position anyway.
2.2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3. I related to Moses because of my fear of public speaking. I have a stuttering problem since childhood. In High School, I hated to give presentations because I could barely get my words out. I can not wrap my mind around be called to public speaking for God. He doesn't need my ability but availability. Pray for me.
My most prominent false positive is my weight…how I look. I've lost a lot of weigh but have a lot to go and my biggest fear is that I'll still be insecure when I get to a normal weight, because I'll find that people may not like me. I think a lot of people (mostly Christian women) don't care for me because of the way I look. What if I look OK a year from now, with my weight and they still don't like me…that means it's ME they don't like. Sometimes, it's easy to hide behind the fat…..Do you see why I need this book?
MY challenge is: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
I resonanted most with Sarai and Hagar because "jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat". Nuff said.
Melana
Sheridan Wyoming
50's
Married (27 yrs on Friday!)
Arlet
Fircrest, WA
60's
married
I'm thinking it would be easier to list the false positives I don't have! Weight and physical attractiveness are biggies, confidence (or the lack thereof) is another, intellect, competence – somebody stop me!!
Challenge âTo let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of (me, that is Christ in me) increasingly overtake (my) earthen vessel until it drives (my) every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When (I) allow Godâs truth to eclipse every false positive and let (my) eyes spring open to the treasure (I) have, there in His glorious reflection (Iâll) see the treasure (I am). And the beauty of the Lord will be upon (me).
No surprise I guess that I most identify with Moses. I'm right there with him telling God I can't possibly do what He asks me to do because I'm not adequately equipped.
Kathy
Eldorado,TX
50's
Married
My most prominent false positive is my weight, I have struggled since I was 10 and that is a long time. It affects every area of my life. I pray each day that the Lord will shine through me and He will be glorified through my life.(which may sound sooo spiritual) but it is because I see nothing in myself that is worthy. Except Him.
sharilyn
long beach, ca
43
single
1. a husband and family of my own would make me secure is primary… a close second would be my weight!
2. âŠto let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake this earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationshipâŠto allow Godâs truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes see the treasure I HAVE and, in His glorious reflection, to see the treasure I AM.
3. âŠtwo, really: first Rachel because of your following comment: ânothing like thinking God doesnât like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure.â I so often compare myselfâwhat I have or donât (not possessions but as in being single, no children,; gifts & talents; etc), or what I am or am not.
and secondly, Saul, where you stated â âInsecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them.â For me, itâs mostly the âsomebodyâ (dear friends) bit⊠i have a great fear of being alone in this world. đ
i want to be so secure in God's amazing love for me that i don't worry or fret about others or about what my future may hold… i want to be one who others see as well and truly loved.
My most prominent false positive is a little strange. I often feel like I am in the play 'Our Town'. I can't remember her name, but she is the lead. She dies and wants to go back one more time ……she is so excited to see everyone, yet no one sees her, or knows she is there. Many times I feel I am not seen when I am going thru life. I feel like I keep waving, yet no one acknowledges me. Not all the time, but quite often. I can just blend into life. Sort of like the muted pastels in a watercolor painting. How pathetic!
I identify with many in the Bible, during various phases in life. However, I often feel like Leah. I have not produced any babies, yet I can relate to not really being who the person wanted – even though I give it my all.
Challenge is: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I Will also see the treasure I am.
K
Arizona
Single
50's
40's
Married
chicago, IL
My most prominent false positive is somehow believing that if I could just lose 10-15 pounds, I would be ok–happy with myself, 'adequately' attractive. Rationally, I know that my happiness and self worth is not connected to my fat cells; but, emotionally…that's a different story.
I think I can identify most closely with Moses because I so often doubt that I am able to competently complete the tasks that God gives me. I really do believe that God is omnipotent and omniscient, that He works through his people to accomplish His purposes, that He has set aside good works for each of us to do and will empower us to do them. I just don't know why that belief falters when I am called to serve in some new capacity—oh wait—must be my INSECURITY! Thankfully, I CAN say that in the end I am usually able to fight back my doubts and fears and press forward by just giving them to God and praying, praying, praying–and that's just what He wants us to do.
I think that's how I will ultimately get past my self-doubt and rise to the challenge in chapter three—"to let the utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship…allow god's truth to eclipse every false positive…"