So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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1,230 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week Two!”

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Comments:

  1. 901
    Alicia says:

    1. Prominent False Positive: Weight- I know I believe that if I could lose weight I would be more secure in many areas.

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, whole, and secure part of us (Christ) overtake what drives every other part of us.

    3. Biblical figures: Sarai and Hagar. This is the part that got me thinking. "We naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largely threatened by them." This has happened with me in friendships-not in my marriage. I like to have a few close friends rather than a large groups of friends . I've become jealous when I've felt threatened that my close friend might be closer to someone else than me.

    Alicia
    Rome, GA
    29
    Married 7 Years

  2. 902
    Melanie says:

    Melanie
    TN
    30's
    Married

    First, I just want to say that I am so glad that you titled the book as you did. I needed something to scream "INSECURITY!!!" at me… I don't do subtle 😉

    1. My PFP is definitely my appearance. I always think that if I looked beautiful or dressed nicer, that I would be more confident which would make 'everything' better: relationships, career, marriage, friendships.

    2. Challenge — To let the light of God's truth shine down into my thought closet and expose all of the lies I have been telling myself. To see the treasure I have in HIM and to find my worth in his precious reflection.

    3. I definitely relate most to Sarah. I feel jealous about other women and sometimes very inadequate.

  3. 903
    Brittney says:

    Brittney
    Pflugerville, TX
    20's
    Married

    1. my "false positive" would definitely have to be success or the "it" girl – the one who has it all. Because, I don't believe I "have it all". I'm starting up a photography business and I hate to admit that I get really down when someone doesn't choose me to photograph their family, kids, wedding – whatever the case. But even worse, other friends that are photographers… if they get a wedding or whatever and I don't, I get so jealous and feel like I'm not good at what I do… ugh!

    2. to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. It would definitely be a toss up between Moses and Paul… thinking I'm not good enough but trying to prove that I am :/

  4. 904
    Cynthia says:

    Cynthia
    Aynor,SC
    49
    widow-22yrs
    1. If I were a size 8 again. I'd feel good about myself and wouldn't care a lot about what people think of me. That sounds bad to put it on paper.
    2. I am who God says I am
    3.Leah, Surely my husband will love me now. What do I have to do for someone to love me again? If my husband was still alive, he did love me. That alone still helps me. Somebody that had flesh on loved me at one time. No what, I knew he loved God more than me. There was security in that!!!!!!

  5. 905
    gritsgirl721 says:

    Amanda
    Olive Branch, Ms
    40's single
    My false positive is my weight issue. I've struggled with it my whole life, 20-30 pounds over where I should be, on and off diet pills. I think if it's perfected, then my life will be perfect; I'll finally get married again.
    My challenge:
    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's TRUTH to eclipse every false positive (my weight) and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are!
    The Biblical character I most relate to is Sarah. I am a people pleaser and I'm not very patient in some areas of my life. In turn that lead Sarah and me to "impulsively dumb" decisions, that then lead to further insecurity and consequences. It's a Vicious Cycle. I truly desire to be free, by God's strength and dignity over me, I will be free.
    :-)Blessings Everyone, I love reading all you share.

  6. 906
    Chris says:

    Chris
    Tucson, AZ
    56
    Married

    ONE of the several – Prominent false positives – weight.

    From those mentioned – I think I feel most like Hagar – not in any, slave-girl, marital or childbearing way – but in the way that dissapointment brings about discouragement and despair.Hagar is rejected by others, she lifted up her voice in her desert times and calls to God for help. God hears her,and answered and provided for her.

  7. 907
    Heather Self says:

    1) My most prominent false positive could be wrapped in the word control. I see that it seeps into every part of my life. I want to have schedules and organization and routines. I want to handle everything with ease. And, I want to control outcomes. The funny thing is, I don't think I have ever held to these things for even one day! I've set myself up to fail!

    For the past month I have been on bedrest and looking to be the remaining three of my pregnancy. God is definitely taking all control out of my hands! He's up to something good.

    2. Our challenge is to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll see the treasure we are.

    3. I believe I connected most with Saul. Beth's quote, "Insecurity's expertise is hiding its victim in some baggage," struck a chord. So many times, my reactions are based on my baggage… and I hide behind it rather than be real or vulnerable. Saul was also obsessed with losing something. Again, because of past pains, I continually prepare myself to lose people dear to me. I'm ready to respond with His "divine power, wisdom, and clarity of thought."

    Heather
    Ironton, MO
    20's
    Married

  8. 908
    Shelly says:

    Shelly
    Colorado Springs, CO
    40s
    Married
    I forgot to mention I am a newbie

    1. Prominent False Positive – weight and success.

    2. Challenge – To allow myself to believe that God does cherish me, does find me valuable! To allow myself to know and feel and believe that He didn't just save me and move on, but that I am worth something to Him.

    3. I think Saul resonates most with me. I often want to be around people who are successful and intelligent and then become jealous because it makes me feel I am not as successful and intelligent, so I start to nitpick at their abilities to undermine them.

  9. 909
    Anonymous says:

    Paula K
    Muskegon, Michigan
    40's
    Married

    1. Prominent False Positive: physical apppearance

    2. The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Biblical Character: Moses. Oh how I wish I could be articulate and eloquent. I am the facilitator of my Bible study group and feel like a failure after each meeting.

  10. 910
    dani and joey snare says:

    Danielle
    Schaumburg, IL
    20s – Married

    1. Prominent False Positive – Yikes! My appearance. I always think, "If I can look like this… go to the gym this many times a week… wear this certain outfit… I will look amazing and be happy." I find myself always comparing and finding "areas" of improvement. Dear Danielle, "You are made perfect – in HIS image." Love, Me. Oh, my deep insecurities in my looks . . .

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, untterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Character: Moses. Wow – He saw God work in some major ways and still disobeyed even when God continually gave him promises and of course, came through. How OFTEN do I see God work and move in my life. . . then continually disobey and be reluctant to take the next step and believe. Oy vey. Moses was such an amazing Godly leader – leading the Lord's chosen people and still failed in areas of insecurity. Who/Where am I leading where my insecurities are causing sin in my life and possibly bringing others down? What a great lesson.

  11. 911
    Abby says:

    Abby
    Wolcott, IN
    20s
    Single

    1. I think my false positives depend on my circumstances, as I look back on my past. Right now I live at home with my parents and security for me would be living a life out on my own…filling my life with the relationships and activities and the fullness that I expect life to be when I'm out on my own and I see other people my age doing. I think singleness is a big part of that too, and feeling like I'm alone and removed from the community of friends and church family and co-workers I'd like to have in my life. Which makes perfect sense when I think about the answer to question 3!

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. I relate to all these stories but I especially connected to the line about Saul that said he refused to call out to God for deliverance from his unhealthy emotions. I have let worry and fear and feelings of inferiority and disappointment take over my life in some ways and thankfully God is delivering me from that…even today! But I didn't realize or trust God could or would handle my destructive thoughts and emotions and heal me!

  12. 912
    dani and joey snare says:

    Danielle
    Schaumburg, IL
    20s – Married

    1. Prominent False Positive – Yikes! My appearance. I always think, "If I can look like this… go to the gym this many times a week… wear this certain outfit… I will look amazing and be happy." I find myself always comparing and finding "areas" of improvement. Dear Danielle, "You are made perfect – in HIS image." Love, Me. Oh, my deep insecurities in my looks . . .

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, untterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Character: Moses. Wow – He saw God work in some major ways and still disobeyed even when God continually gave him promises and of course, came through. How OFTEN do I see God work and move in my life. . . then continually disobey and be reluctant to take the next step and believe. Oy vey. Moses was such an amazing Godly leader – leading the Lord's chosen people and still failed in areas of insecurity. Who/Where am I leading where my insecurities are causing sin in my life and possibly bringing others down? What a great lesson.

  13. 913
    blessednfavored says:

    Most prominent alse positive -Credentials would make me secure.

    Which Biblical figure resonated with you the most and why?

    A. Paul – Because I always feel inferior in the presence of “super apostles” Those with more Biblical acuity than I (perceived or otherwise).

    Tammy
    Cleveland, TN
    48
    Marred

  14. 914
    Anonymous says:

    Darcie
    Sheridan, Wy
    married

    I have worked with a christian life coach and these are two of my most false beliefs/positives/codes of survival

    -the only way I am heard is to be a drama queen and I will be visible
    -I don't really know what I am talking about I am just a fraud
    -when I feel empty I have to grasp whatever I can

    I have found I am God's treasure who is shining grace, focused creation,empowered knowledge,endured strength, and heavenly joy

    Biblical character would be one who is really not talked about. Lot's wife. Always looking back and not trusting in Him. Not listed in the book but first thing that popped into my head.

  15. 915
    Kelly says:

    Kelly
    Bethlehem, GA
    30s
    Engaged

    1. My prominent false positive would be: seeing others at the same age as me having accomplished so much in their life that I haven't and would want. (married, kids, financially stable to be able to shop freely and take vacations).But then after reading I wonder why can't I just be happy with where God has put me right now! if any of those are in His plan for me why can't I just trust Him! I have a beautiful house that I have bought all on my own,I have a car paid for, I have little debt. So with all those wants that I see in others I know that they don't bring happiness…what will though is believing in Him and that He will provide me with what He has planned for me in His timing!
    2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationships.
    3. I can relate to each a little. But I think Eve because I at times find myself covering up in my own insecurity. Whether it be hiding behind my clothes or even hiding from venturing out to meet a friend or go shopping just because I don't like the way I look or feel. I have let my insecurities rule me for way too long!!!!

  16. 916
    Anonymous says:

    Leslie
    Morristown,TN
    50's and married

    I had decided that my prominent false positive was financial success, but….I had no sooner finished reading Chapter 3 SHE DOESN'T LOOK A CERTAIN WAY when my husband arrived home with the mail and his latest issue of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. Yep, you guessed it: the swimsuit issue!! (Doesn't God have a delicious sense of humor and timing?) My once gorgeous hour-glass figure (after reconstructive ab surgery 10 yrs.ago)is now pear-shaped. I am not allowed to do stomach crunches, so I am stuck with this belly that makes me look about 5 months pregnant (doctor said he rearranged my intestines–thanks, doc!!!) Anyway, I now must say that my prominent false positive is beauty—I miss my flat stomach so much. My husband is so understanding and knows how much I miss my flat stomach, so he told me he would give me the swimsuit issue when he was finished with it, and I could shred it or do whatever would make me feel better. So when he pushes his eyeballs back into their sockets, I am heading to the back lawn with that issue and a book of matches—burn baby, burn.

    Our challenge: to allow our secure parts to hunt down, chase, and overcome our insecure parts–then we can say "You've come a long way, baby."

    I think the Bible character I most identify with is Moses–reluctant to go into new situations and leave my comfort zone even though my head tells me that God is with me. I tend to love a rut, afraid to go to Egypt and rescue the Israelites. And yes, I understand Saul's jealousy–all those women with flat stomachs!!!

  17. 917
    Candace says:

    Candace
    30 yrs old
    Tennessee
    Single

    1)Beauty would make me secure.

    2)To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3)Saul- Hiding in the baggage, because he didn’t have the faith to believe that he was who God was calling him.

  18. 918
    Lucy from PA says:

    Lucinda
    Watsontown, PA
    30's, married

    1. Beauty
    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completley secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
    3.The person from the Bible I relate to most is probably Paul and his dizzying pschological zigzag of belittling himself and boasting in himself. The fighting the feeling that I am not as good as others who haven't done nearly as much wrong.
    I also can relate to threat that you talked about with Sarai and Hagar.

  19. 919
    Shelly says:

    Messed up what Beth asked for in the challenge – oops!

    2. Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

  20. 920
    Mel says:

    Melanie, 30's & married
    Wenham, MA

    1. Finanical security & my weight

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive & let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    3. I identified most with Leah & Rachel, having to share their husband. My husband is a coach of 20 women, and though I certainly don't have to share him in the same way that Leah & Rachel shared Joseph, sharing my husband's time & energy with 20 college women is sometimes really difficult for me.

    Beth, you asked on page 41 if anyone else ever tries to get their husband to volunteer info without asking the question (because it just doesn't count if you've got to ask!) and I just couldn't stop laughing as I read that little story, because I am guilty as charged! Same results, too, by the way! Thanks from the bottom of my heart for writing this book!

  21. 921
    Amity says:

    Amity
    Williamsburg, VA
    30's
    Married

    1. Prominent false positive – outgoing, confident social skills/self confidence.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."

    3. Moses would be the biblical figure that resonates with me the most. I often feel that some of my insecurities hold me back from what God is asking me to do. I sometimes don't have faith in myself eventhough God has faith in me.

  22. 922
    Lauren says:

    Lauren
    Stevenson, AL
    20's
    single

    1. I cannot honestly pick one prominent false positive. I have some issues that I really need to work through. Beauty and having a man to be there for me those are my biggest prominent false positives.

    2. Let the healthy, whole and completely secure part us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Allow God's truth to eclipse ever false positive and let our eyes open to the treasure we have.

    3. I think I relate most with Hagar and Sarai. I feel threatened daily. Is someone going to take away my job, my man, my money, etc. I live in fear of losing. I have lost all these things before and I am threatened daily by losing them again. I have fear and anxiety about be hurt and having to deal with the hurt again. I now deal with depression anxiety as a daily part of my life do to these things I have went through. Therefore, I feel threatened that someone is going to waltz into my life and take all these things away from me.

  23. 923
    blessednfavored says:

    Oops! Sorry

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    Tammy
    Cleveland, TN
    48
    Married

  24. 924
    Lizzie C. says:

    Elizabeth, Charlottesville, 20s, Single
    1. My prominent false positive is popularity. I feel like I would be more secure if I felt like more people liked me and wanted to hang out with me. Hopefully, that makes sense.
    2. The challenge: To let the health, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
    3. I related most to Saul in the sense that I am afraid of loss — of friends, family, my standing at work, etc., and I always want to be in control.

  25. 925
    Chris says:

    Chris
    Joshua, TX
    48
    Single

    1. My 'prominent false positive' is losing weight – If i was thin & physically fit I would be secure. I know that this won't be all that it takes, but I feel that if I could change this one thing everything else would be easier to deal with. I also identified wiht the statement – 'The more careful we are about what we're projecting, the more driven we ten to be by fear.'

    2. The Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. The statement that resondated most with me was about Paul being 'enormously used by God in spite of himself'. I often feel like my own worst enemy after struggling with fears & insecurities, that I allow to grow out of control, to stop me from doing what I need and want to do.

  26. 926
    pfinne323 says:

    Pam, 41
    Married in GA
    My false positive is appearance/beauty. I've always been thin, but I had gained weight over the years and especially in my late 30's. No one would have ever said I was overweight (I am 5'6" and weighed 135 lbs. at my heaviest), but I felt so bad about myself that my wardrobe changed, my personality changed, and my relationship (intimacy) with my husband changed. I've lost weight now and I feel better about myself, but I feel so shallow that I let my looks control me so much.

    2. The challenge to me is that I need to let God clean out my thought closet (Me, Myself and Lies). Let Go and Let God

    3. I identify most with Eve, in feeling insecure about her body. I can relate to not wanting to be nude in front of my husband.

  27. 927
    Anonymous says:

    1. I have to say weight, I be happy if I only lose 10 lbs!
    2. The Challenge to believe God, And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us(psalm 90;17, NKJV)
    3. I identified most with Moses because I have a hard time with words they come out backwords.
    Linda
    Bartelso, IL
    50's
    Married

  28. 928
    Anonymous says:

    Married
    30's

    1. My prominent false positive is beauty. It's taking a lot more work to look "presentable" than it did in my 20's. I also feel that if I look put together, people will think I've got it together in every other area of my life. I've spent so much of my life feeling awkward, I'm afraid of people seeing me as I truly am and not liking me.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's Truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will also see the treasure we are.

    3. Moses because although I have seen God do AMAZING things, I still doubt myself in fulfilling His plan for my life.

  29. 929
    Cori says:

    Cori
    San Angelo, TX
    30
    Married
    1. Prominent false positive-not only the appearance of myself, but also the appearance of my family. I tend to dwell on how well other families "have it all together".
    2. The Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and complete secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
    3. I most identified with feeling most insecure over others success. By no means am I saying I would ever want to hold anyone back or ever stop rooting them on to success. I am very, very proud of others but deep down get more depressed with myself for not doing as well. It is very sad to say that I worry that others have a so much better prayer life or they have a much better study/quiet time than me. This worry has nothing to do with competition, but insecurities that I may not be doing the "right" things for the God I have so much love for. I think they call people like me people pleasers…..I just want everyone to be happy…..even my God!!!

  30. 930
    Sam and Ann Gonzalez says:

    Ann
    Morelia, Mexico
    30's
    Married
    1. I would have to choose prominent false positives. The first being a "great" relationship with my husband. If I could just communicate better with him, praise him more, parent better, etc, etc, etc…then everything else would be okay. A close second would be losing those extra pounds…
    2. If we have Jesus in our lives, then security is in us to be had, we just have to claim it, and then claim it again, and then claim it again, and then again, until His security in us overshadows the insecurity in us.
    3. Tough choices on this one, but I think that I would probably choose Paul, because "he was a complex mound of clay just like the rest of us, belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag." In the blink of an eye, I can go from feeling too good about myself, to thinking I'm the worst human being on earth. It's crazy, and I would monumentally argue that I am my biggest enemy in fulfilling the destiny God has laid out for me.
    This is a wild and crazy journey for me, but I am ready once and for all to be sold out on the security of Christ Jesus.

  31. 931
    Traci says:

    First thing: There was a time when God took me to a far away land (literally 10,000 miles away from home) for a complete year. In that time He revealed one thing after another that I needed to work on. I remember exclaiming, "If You show me one more thing, I'm not sure I can handle it, and I might just jump off a bridge." I feel the same thing all over again as I go through this book.

    Question #1 – I am feeling so insecure in so many areas of my life right now that it was extremely difficult to know what my "prominent false positive" was. I really struggled through it. I finally decided to prioritize as this was suggested. I've decided that if I had financial success it would be the core to the other areas I'm feeling so insecure about.

    Challenge: When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have (Jesus), there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are (His beloved child). And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. Psalm 90:17. I hope it was OK to add my thoughts in parenthesis.

    Question#2 – I wasn't sure if we could choose any Biblical figure we resonated with or only with those mentioned? I've always felt as if I resonate with Joshua. I love that he was a warrior, yet God had to encourage him that He would be with him and he should not be fearful, but be courageous. If we were to choose one written about, it would have to be Moses. I always think my abilities are not adequate enough for service. I'm grateful that God has been patient with me and has taught me that He completes us in our weaknesses. My faith is so much deeper in Him than in myself.

    Traci, 40's, Married, Corona – CA

  32. 932
    Mary Katherine-War Eagle says:

    1. my prominent false positive is appearance. I feel like if I dressed better, had better hair, thinner, nicer teeth and apparantly the MONEY to get all of these things then I would be secure. As we learned that won't do it!
    2. The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
    3. I relate to Moses. I feel insecure in my ability to do what God has called me to do. I always tell myself I don't have the biblical smarts to do these things.

    Mary Katherine
    Athens, AL
    20's
    Married

  33. 933
    Gigi Smith says:

    Gigi
    West milton, Ohio
    50's
    Married
    My false positive is performance in relationships. The more I do for people the more they will love me. It started with my dad. He created that in me. We always had to compete for his love and now it has carried over into my adult relationships.
    I identify with Hagar. I always seem to be taking on the task then resenting the other person who benefits from it. Thinking somehow that performance equals love. It is awful to feel like you have to compete for love.
    To let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Thank you Lord Jesus for knowing me full well and loving me anyway. I love you back.

  34. 934
    Sarah says:

    Sarah
    Louisville, KY
    40's
    Married

    My Prominent False Positive is thinness. I got a lot of positive attention in my thinner days and often feel like everything would be perfect if I could lose 10, or even 20 pounds.

    Our challenge: "To let healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    I think Saul's fear of loss and the jealousy that followed resonated most with me. I tend to compare my self with others constantly and rarely feel that I measure up – in appearance, ability, or just about anything else. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and I have no reason to think he would leave me, but sometimes even the smallest things can cause my imagination to go wild and lead me to a place of fear and anxiety. I'm sure my husband will be so relieved when I can finally get a grip on my insecurity.

  35. 935
    April says:

    April
    Lake Charles, LA
    30s
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive is popularity. Most of my other false positives (beauty, performance, thinness) stem from my ridiculous desire for other women to like me and choose my friendship.

    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE.

    3. I related so much with your statement about Saul: "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken away from them." There have been so many times in my life that I have not allowed myself to revel in God's blessings lest I become too attached and hurt too much if/when they were taken away.

  36. 936
    Tammi says:

    My prominent false positive–there are many that are contenders, but I suppose it boils down to believing that my life's value will decline as I age (looks are fading, wrinkles appearing, fat not budging…)I look in the mirror and think, how did this happen??? Who will value me?

    The challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    I can identify with Saul. Terrified of losing what is dear to me, that it will be taken from me.

    Tammi
    40's
    Missouri
    married

  37. 937
    Anonymous says:

    Beth
    30's
    Married
    OH

    1. Admiration.

    I watched the entire BBC production of _Pride and Prejudice_ this past weekend. Love that story. Realized I love it b/c Darcy loves, admires, pursues, defends, rescues, appreciates and studies to deeply know Elizabeth.

    I was analyzing why I love the story so much and realized I want all of that from my husband. (poor man!) When that doesn't work so well (how could it?!) I look to my children, friends, ministry contacts….etc to provide that admiration.

    I can be very (quietly) competitive. I have admitted to my mother and husband that I almost always want to be the "E-S-T". Meaning the cuEST, smartEST, funniEST, wisEST….you name it….in any given group of women. It's awful.

    The great break-thru was when I realized that I have ALL that Darcy exhibits and much more—perfectly—from my Lord Jesus. Thank You Father! I can let go of the E-S-T b/c I belong to You–the ultimate E-S-T!

    2. Our challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessles until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let your eyes spring open to the treaure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.

    3. Hard to choose. Probably Leah/Rachel b/c I'm studying their story right now in Genesis. What a MESS.

    The part about if you are wishing harm as Saul did—get help, is a great tool.

    Have to add, I've been in several groups of women while reading this book. I go back and forth between being more aware of my own insecurities to seeing how others betray their own. Fascinating! And I am so grateful to know I'm not alone!! I really thought it was just me.

    Thanks!

  38. 938
    Jess says:

    Jess from Huntington Beach, CA
    20's and married

    AMAZINGGGG chapters, Beth!!!

    1. my false positive is everything on the example list. but the most prominent one isn't on there. I think mine is the ideal of the "perfect life and happiness", and the inability to control someone else's behavior. I think, why don't they act like ME… or at least like I want or expect them to. But the irony is that when they DO act how I want, I'm threatened by it and I'm insanely insecure about other people's success and that someone or something will be taken away from me. sheesh… that was hard to admit.

    2. my challenge is to let the ounce of good that's hidden be revealed and overshadow the insecurity. I am desparate to be WHOLE and HEALTHY. I want to be driven and controlled by TRUTH and what GOD says and wants for me… which is NOT insecurity.

    3. I identify with Saul… aka the most insecure man award winner. I'm terrified to loose my job, my husband, my parents… you name it, I live in fear or having it taken away. and I totally identify with the conflict and confusion in Saul's soul, because the people I despise and who threaten me the most, I end up exalting and encouraging (with wrong motives). I also identify with Sari and the threats of another woman. I've been married for 8 months and my husband is a personal trainer and I'm SCARED TO DEATH that he'll find a client or someone with a better body much more attractive… I cannot even wait to read on and get rid of this horrific thing that's been in my life for WAY too long.

  39. 939
    Karen says:

    Karen
    51
    married
    Tennessee

    1) My prominent false positive would be that to be the "perfect" wife and mother…..I need to be cool, calm, collected and curvy in all the right places…not to mention 20 pounds lighter!

    2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    3) I can relate to Paul….certainly the greatest enemy I feel like I have had to face in the fulfillment of my destiny is myself.

  40. 940
    Anonymous says:

    Bonnie
    Williamsburg, VA
    40's
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive throughout my earlier years was a man would make me secure and feel loved. However it left me in the pit. I had to find that only God would fill this need and show me true love and security.

    2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.

    3. I identify with Rachel/Leah more in my past but now days more with Paul. Especially with the dying to self so I can learn to be an open vessel and do God's will in my life. Life is hard and trying to learn to react like Jesus would and not defending myself and letting go and letting God be in control is something I am striving for. I really like the sentences from the book that states. . ."Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." I pray that God will give me the stength, wisdom and revelation to overcome this.

  41. 941
    Pattygarv says:

    Patty
    Lakeport, FL
    40's
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive is looks which would lead to popularity. So I compensated with education. (This was during high school). Now I catch guard myself against taking pride in my education, "lording" it over others, even my husband!!

    2. Our challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. The biblical figure I most relate to is Paul. I used to really not like him. Once I quit "playing" church and really began a relationship with Christ and His word, I found my dislike of paul was because he and I are so much alike!! The statement that resonated with me the most is "a complex mound of clay…. belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag. I could insert my name there! My problem, though, is that most of the belittling takes place inside my head, while the boasting has no problem coming out my mouth!!

  42. 942
    karina268 says:

    My most prominent false positive: a mix of financial/credentials and beauty. I have watched most of my friends my age finish college, start their careers, get married and have kids. I'm almost 30 and haven't finished school yet, am single and in a barely above minimum wage job. Then, not being my ideal weight makes me feel even worse about the above stated insecurities. All of my feelings are just intertwined and feed off of each other. I just don't feel good enough.

    Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    I think I relate most to Moses. My above insecurities make me feel so inadequate. In a worldly sense, I don't measure up to it's success. It's hard b/c it makes me feel spiritually that those insecurities hold me back in some way from being used by God.

    Welcome to my thought life…
    Karina
    Baton Rouge,La.
    20's
    Single

  43. 943
    Emily says:

    1. My prominent false positive is probably my personality. I feel that if I were more outgoing and confident in myself around others then I would be more secure with who I am.

    2. The challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessel until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship" and to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."

    3. Moses' struggle with insecurity hit home with me. I can relate to not being eloquent in speech. So many times I worry about "not saying the right thing" and sometimes I think that I miss opportunities for God to work through me because I'm too afraid to speak for fear that I will say the wrong thing. But, praise God, He is compassionate, gracious, abounding in love and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6). I know He will not give up on me just as He did not give up on Moses.

    Emily
    Topeka, KS
    20's
    Single

  44. 944
    Barbara35 says:

    Barbara
    New Orleans, LA
    30's
    Married

    1.Prominent false positive – Position of Authority. I tend to beleive someone would have to be confident and secure to be in that position anyway.

    2.2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."

    3. I related to Moses because of my fear of public speaking. I have a stuttering problem since childhood. In High School, I hated to give presentations because I could barely get my words out. I can not wrap my mind around be called to public speaking for God. He doesn't need my ability but availability. Pray for me.

  45. 945
    Moose Mama says:

    My most prominent false positive is my weight…how I look. I've lost a lot of weigh but have a lot to go and my biggest fear is that I'll still be insecure when I get to a normal weight, because I'll find that people may not like me. I think a lot of people (mostly Christian women) don't care for me because of the way I look. What if I look OK a year from now, with my weight and they still don't like me…that means it's ME they don't like. Sometimes, it's easy to hide behind the fat…..Do you see why I need this book?

    MY challenge is: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."

    I resonanted most with Sarai and Hagar because "jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat". Nuff said.

    Melana
    Sheridan Wyoming
    50's
    Married (27 yrs on Friday!)

  46. 946
    Arlet says:

    Arlet
    Fircrest, WA
    60's
    married
    I'm thinking it would be easier to list the false positives I don't have! Weight and physical attractiveness are biggies, confidence (or the lack thereof) is another, intellect, competence – somebody stop me!!

    Challenge “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of (me, that is Christ in me) increasingly overtake (my) earthen vessel until it drives (my) every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When (I) allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let (my) eyes spring open to the treasure (I) have, there in His glorious reflection (I’ll) see the treasure (I am). And the beauty of the Lord will be upon (me).

    No surprise I guess that I most identify with Moses. I'm right there with him telling God I can't possibly do what He asks me to do because I'm not adequately equipped.

  47. 947
    kadinman says:

    Kathy
    Eldorado,TX
    50's
    Married
    My most prominent false positive is my weight, I have struggled since I was 10 and that is a long time. It affects every area of my life. I pray each day that the Lord will shine through me and He will be glorified through my life.(which may sound sooo spiritual) but it is because I see nothing in myself that is worthy. Except Him.

  48. 948
    sharilyn says:

    sharilyn
    long beach, ca
    43
    single

    1. a husband and family of my own would make me secure is primary… a close second would be my weight!

    2. …to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake this earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship…to allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes see the treasure I HAVE and, in His glorious reflection, to see the treasure I AM.

    3. …two, really: first Rachel because of your following comment: “nothing like thinking God doesn’t like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure.” I so often compare myself—what I have or don’t (not possessions but as in being single, no children,; gifts & talents; etc), or what I am or am not.

    and secondly, Saul, where you stated – “Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them.” For me, it’s mostly the “somebody” (dear friends) bit… i have a great fear of being alone in this world. 🙁

    i want to be so secure in God's amazing love for me that i don't worry or fret about others or about what my future may hold… i want to be one who others see as well and truly loved.

  49. 949
    kathryn says:

    My most prominent false positive is a little strange. I often feel like I am in the play 'Our Town'. I can't remember her name, but she is the lead. She dies and wants to go back one more time ……she is so excited to see everyone, yet no one sees her, or knows she is there. Many times I feel I am not seen when I am going thru life. I feel like I keep waving, yet no one acknowledges me. Not all the time, but quite often. I can just blend into life. Sort of like the muted pastels in a watercolor painting. How pathetic!

    I identify with many in the Bible, during various phases in life. However, I often feel like Leah. I have not produced any babies, yet I can relate to not really being who the person wanted – even though I give it my all.

    Challenge is: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I Will also see the treasure I am.

    K
    Arizona
    Single
    50's

  50. 950
    Anonymous says:

    40's
    Married
    chicago, IL
    My most prominent false positive is somehow believing that if I could just lose 10-15 pounds, I would be ok–happy with myself, 'adequately' attractive. Rationally, I know that my happiness and self worth is not connected to my fat cells; but, emotionally…that's a different story.

    I think I can identify most closely with Moses because I so often doubt that I am able to competently complete the tasks that God gives me. I really do believe that God is omnipotent and omniscient, that He works through his people to accomplish His purposes, that He has set aside good works for each of us to do and will empower us to do them. I just don't know why that belief falters when I am called to serve in some new capacity—oh wait—must be my INSECURITY! Thankfully, I CAN say that in the end I am usually able to fight back my doubts and fears and press forward by just giving them to God and praying, praying, praying–and that's just what He wants us to do.
    I think that's how I will ultimately get past my self-doubt and rise to the challenge in chapter three—"to let the utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship…allow god's truth to eclipse every false positive…"

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So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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  1. 951
    dani and joey snare says:

    Danielle
    Schaumburg, IL
    20s – Married

    1. Prominent False Positive – Yikes! My appearance. I always think, "If I can look like this… go to the gym this many times a week… wear this certain outfit… I will look amazing and be happy." I find myself always comparing and finding "areas" of improvement. Dear Danielle, "You are made perfect – in HIS image." Love, Me. Oh, my deep insecurities in my looks . . .

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, untterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Character: Moses. Wow – He saw God work in some major ways and still disobeyed even when God continually gave him promises and of course, came through. How OFTEN do I see God work and move in my life. . . then continually disobey and be reluctant to take the next step and believe. Oy vey. Moses was such an amazing Godly leader – leading the Lord's chosen people and still failed in areas of insecurity. Who/Where am I leading where my insecurities are causing sin in my life and possibly bringing others down? What a great lesson.

  2. 952
    blessednfavored says:

    Most prominent alse positive -Credentials would make me secure.

    Which Biblical figure resonated with you the most and why?

    A. Paul – Because I always feel inferior in the presence of “super apostles” Those with more Biblical acuity than I (perceived or otherwise).

    Tammy
    Cleveland, TN
    48
    Marred

  3. 953
    Anonymous says:

    Darcie
    Sheridan, Wy
    married

    I have worked with a christian life coach and these are two of my most false beliefs/positives/codes of survival

    -the only way I am heard is to be a drama queen and I will be visible
    -I don't really know what I am talking about I am just a fraud
    -when I feel empty I have to grasp whatever I can

    I have found I am God's treasure who is shining grace, focused creation,empowered knowledge,endured strength, and heavenly joy

    Biblical character would be one who is really not talked about. Lot's wife. Always looking back and not trusting in Him. Not listed in the book but first thing that popped into my head.

  4. 954
    Kelly says:

    Kelly
    Bethlehem, GA
    30s
    Engaged

    1. My prominent false positive would be: seeing others at the same age as me having accomplished so much in their life that I haven't and would want. (married, kids, financially stable to be able to shop freely and take vacations).But then after reading I wonder why can't I just be happy with where God has put me right now! if any of those are in His plan for me why can't I just trust Him! I have a beautiful house that I have bought all on my own,I have a car paid for, I have little debt. So with all those wants that I see in others I know that they don't bring happiness…what will though is believing in Him and that He will provide me with what He has planned for me in His timing!
    2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationships.
    3. I can relate to each a little. But I think Eve because I at times find myself covering up in my own insecurity. Whether it be hiding behind my clothes or even hiding from venturing out to meet a friend or go shopping just because I don't like the way I look or feel. I have let my insecurities rule me for way too long!!!!

  5. 955
    Anonymous says:

    Leslie
    Morristown,TN
    50's and married

    I had decided that my prominent false positive was financial success, but….I had no sooner finished reading Chapter 3 SHE DOESN'T LOOK A CERTAIN WAY when my husband arrived home with the mail and his latest issue of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. Yep, you guessed it: the swimsuit issue!! (Doesn't God have a delicious sense of humor and timing?) My once gorgeous hour-glass figure (after reconstructive ab surgery 10 yrs.ago)is now pear-shaped. I am not allowed to do stomach crunches, so I am stuck with this belly that makes me look about 5 months pregnant (doctor said he rearranged my intestines–thanks, doc!!!) Anyway, I now must say that my prominent false positive is beauty—I miss my flat stomach so much. My husband is so understanding and knows how much I miss my flat stomach, so he told me he would give me the swimsuit issue when he was finished with it, and I could shred it or do whatever would make me feel better. So when he pushes his eyeballs back into their sockets, I am heading to the back lawn with that issue and a book of matches—burn baby, burn.

    Our challenge: to allow our secure parts to hunt down, chase, and overcome our insecure parts–then we can say "You've come a long way, baby."

    I think the Bible character I most identify with is Moses–reluctant to go into new situations and leave my comfort zone even though my head tells me that God is with me. I tend to love a rut, afraid to go to Egypt and rescue the Israelites. And yes, I understand Saul's jealousy–all those women with flat stomachs!!!

  6. 956
    Candace says:

    Candace
    30 yrs old
    Tennessee
    Single

    1)Beauty would make me secure.

    2)To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3)Saul- Hiding in the baggage, because he didn’t have the faith to believe that he was who God was calling him.

  7. 957
    Lucy from PA says:

    Lucinda
    Watsontown, PA
    30's, married

    1. Beauty
    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completley secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
    3.The person from the Bible I relate to most is probably Paul and his dizzying pschological zigzag of belittling himself and boasting in himself. The fighting the feeling that I am not as good as others who haven't done nearly as much wrong.
    I also can relate to threat that you talked about with Sarai and Hagar.

  8. 958
    Shelly says:

    Messed up what Beth asked for in the challenge – oops!

    2. Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

  9. 959
    Mel says:

    Melanie, 30's & married
    Wenham, MA

    1. Finanical security & my weight

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive & let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    3. I identified most with Leah & Rachel, having to share their husband. My husband is a coach of 20 women, and though I certainly don't have to share him in the same way that Leah & Rachel shared Joseph, sharing my husband's time & energy with 20 college women is sometimes really difficult for me.

    Beth, you asked on page 41 if anyone else ever tries to get their husband to volunteer info without asking the question (because it just doesn't count if you've got to ask!) and I just couldn't stop laughing as I read that little story, because I am guilty as charged! Same results, too, by the way! Thanks from the bottom of my heart for writing this book!

  10. 960
    Amity says:

    Amity
    Williamsburg, VA
    30's
    Married

    1. Prominent false positive – outgoing, confident social skills/self confidence.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."

    3. Moses would be the biblical figure that resonates with me the most. I often feel that some of my insecurities hold me back from what God is asking me to do. I sometimes don't have faith in myself eventhough God has faith in me.

  11. 961
    Lauren says:

    Lauren
    Stevenson, AL
    20's
    single

    1. I cannot honestly pick one prominent false positive. I have some issues that I really need to work through. Beauty and having a man to be there for me those are my biggest prominent false positives.

    2. Let the healthy, whole and completely secure part us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Allow God's truth to eclipse ever false positive and let our eyes open to the treasure we have.

    3. I think I relate most with Hagar and Sarai. I feel threatened daily. Is someone going to take away my job, my man, my money, etc. I live in fear of losing. I have lost all these things before and I am threatened daily by losing them again. I have fear and anxiety about be hurt and having to deal with the hurt again. I now deal with depression anxiety as a daily part of my life do to these things I have went through. Therefore, I feel threatened that someone is going to waltz into my life and take all these things away from me.

  12. 962
    blessednfavored says:

    Oops! Sorry

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    Tammy
    Cleveland, TN
    48
    Married

  13. 963
    Lizzie C. says:

    Elizabeth, Charlottesville, 20s, Single
    1. My prominent false positive is popularity. I feel like I would be more secure if I felt like more people liked me and wanted to hang out with me. Hopefully, that makes sense.
    2. The challenge: To let the health, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
    3. I related most to Saul in the sense that I am afraid of loss — of friends, family, my standing at work, etc., and I always want to be in control.

  14. 964
    Chris says:

    Chris
    Joshua, TX
    48
    Single

    1. My 'prominent false positive' is losing weight – If i was thin & physically fit I would be secure. I know that this won't be all that it takes, but I feel that if I could change this one thing everything else would be easier to deal with. I also identified wiht the statement – 'The more careful we are about what we're projecting, the more driven we ten to be by fear.'

    2. The Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. The statement that resondated most with me was about Paul being 'enormously used by God in spite of himself'. I often feel like my own worst enemy after struggling with fears & insecurities, that I allow to grow out of control, to stop me from doing what I need and want to do.

  15. 965
    pfinne323 says:

    Pam, 41
    Married in GA
    My false positive is appearance/beauty. I've always been thin, but I had gained weight over the years and especially in my late 30's. No one would have ever said I was overweight (I am 5'6" and weighed 135 lbs. at my heaviest), but I felt so bad about myself that my wardrobe changed, my personality changed, and my relationship (intimacy) with my husband changed. I've lost weight now and I feel better about myself, but I feel so shallow that I let my looks control me so much.

    2. The challenge to me is that I need to let God clean out my thought closet (Me, Myself and Lies). Let Go and Let God

    3. I identify most with Eve, in feeling insecure about her body. I can relate to not wanting to be nude in front of my husband.

  16. 966
    Anonymous says:

    1. I have to say weight, I be happy if I only lose 10 lbs!
    2. The Challenge to believe God, And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us(psalm 90;17, NKJV)
    3. I identified most with Moses because I have a hard time with words they come out backwords.
    Linda
    Bartelso, IL
    50's
    Married

  17. 967
    Anonymous says:

    Married
    30's

    1. My prominent false positive is beauty. It's taking a lot more work to look "presentable" than it did in my 20's. I also feel that if I look put together, people will think I've got it together in every other area of my life. I've spent so much of my life feeling awkward, I'm afraid of people seeing me as I truly am and not liking me.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's Truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will also see the treasure we are.

    3. Moses because although I have seen God do AMAZING things, I still doubt myself in fulfilling His plan for my life.

  18. 968
    Cori says:

    Cori
    San Angelo, TX
    30
    Married
    1. Prominent false positive-not only the appearance of myself, but also the appearance of my family. I tend to dwell on how well other families "have it all together".
    2. The Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and complete secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
    3. I most identified with feeling most insecure over others success. By no means am I saying I would ever want to hold anyone back or ever stop rooting them on to success. I am very, very proud of others but deep down get more depressed with myself for not doing as well. It is very sad to say that I worry that others have a so much better prayer life or they have a much better study/quiet time than me. This worry has nothing to do with competition, but insecurities that I may not be doing the "right" things for the God I have so much love for. I think they call people like me people pleasers…..I just want everyone to be happy…..even my God!!!

  19. 969
    Sam and Ann Gonzalez says:

    Ann
    Morelia, Mexico
    30's
    Married
    1. I would have to choose prominent false positives. The first being a "great" relationship with my husband. If I could just communicate better with him, praise him more, parent better, etc, etc, etc…then everything else would be okay. A close second would be losing those extra pounds…
    2. If we have Jesus in our lives, then security is in us to be had, we just have to claim it, and then claim it again, and then claim it again, and then again, until His security in us overshadows the insecurity in us.
    3. Tough choices on this one, but I think that I would probably choose Paul, because "he was a complex mound of clay just like the rest of us, belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag." In the blink of an eye, I can go from feeling too good about myself, to thinking I'm the worst human being on earth. It's crazy, and I would monumentally argue that I am my biggest enemy in fulfilling the destiny God has laid out for me.
    This is a wild and crazy journey for me, but I am ready once and for all to be sold out on the security of Christ Jesus.

  20. 970
    Traci says:

    First thing: There was a time when God took me to a far away land (literally 10,000 miles away from home) for a complete year. In that time He revealed one thing after another that I needed to work on. I remember exclaiming, "If You show me one more thing, I'm not sure I can handle it, and I might just jump off a bridge." I feel the same thing all over again as I go through this book.

    Question #1 – I am feeling so insecure in so many areas of my life right now that it was extremely difficult to know what my "prominent false positive" was. I really struggled through it. I finally decided to prioritize as this was suggested. I've decided that if I had financial success it would be the core to the other areas I'm feeling so insecure about.

    Challenge: When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have (Jesus), there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are (His beloved child). And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. Psalm 90:17. I hope it was OK to add my thoughts in parenthesis.

    Question#2 – I wasn't sure if we could choose any Biblical figure we resonated with or only with those mentioned? I've always felt as if I resonate with Joshua. I love that he was a warrior, yet God had to encourage him that He would be with him and he should not be fearful, but be courageous. If we were to choose one written about, it would have to be Moses. I always think my abilities are not adequate enough for service. I'm grateful that God has been patient with me and has taught me that He completes us in our weaknesses. My faith is so much deeper in Him than in myself.

    Traci, 40's, Married, Corona – CA

  21. 971
    Mary Katherine-War Eagle says:

    1. my prominent false positive is appearance. I feel like if I dressed better, had better hair, thinner, nicer teeth and apparantly the MONEY to get all of these things then I would be secure. As we learned that won't do it!
    2. The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
    3. I relate to Moses. I feel insecure in my ability to do what God has called me to do. I always tell myself I don't have the biblical smarts to do these things.

    Mary Katherine
    Athens, AL
    20's
    Married

  22. 972
    Gigi Smith says:

    Gigi
    West milton, Ohio
    50's
    Married
    My false positive is performance in relationships. The more I do for people the more they will love me. It started with my dad. He created that in me. We always had to compete for his love and now it has carried over into my adult relationships.
    I identify with Hagar. I always seem to be taking on the task then resenting the other person who benefits from it. Thinking somehow that performance equals love. It is awful to feel like you have to compete for love.
    To let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Thank you Lord Jesus for knowing me full well and loving me anyway. I love you back.

  23. 973
    Sarah says:

    Sarah
    Louisville, KY
    40's
    Married

    My Prominent False Positive is thinness. I got a lot of positive attention in my thinner days and often feel like everything would be perfect if I could lose 10, or even 20 pounds.

    Our challenge: "To let healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    I think Saul's fear of loss and the jealousy that followed resonated most with me. I tend to compare my self with others constantly and rarely feel that I measure up – in appearance, ability, or just about anything else. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and I have no reason to think he would leave me, but sometimes even the smallest things can cause my imagination to go wild and lead me to a place of fear and anxiety. I'm sure my husband will be so relieved when I can finally get a grip on my insecurity.

  24. 974
    April says:

    April
    Lake Charles, LA
    30s
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive is popularity. Most of my other false positives (beauty, performance, thinness) stem from my ridiculous desire for other women to like me and choose my friendship.

    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE.

    3. I related so much with your statement about Saul: "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken away from them." There have been so many times in my life that I have not allowed myself to revel in God's blessings lest I become too attached and hurt too much if/when they were taken away.

  25. 975
    Tammi says:

    My prominent false positive–there are many that are contenders, but I suppose it boils down to believing that my life's value will decline as I age (looks are fading, wrinkles appearing, fat not budging…)I look in the mirror and think, how did this happen??? Who will value me?

    The challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    I can identify with Saul. Terrified of losing what is dear to me, that it will be taken from me.

    Tammi
    40's
    Missouri
    married

  26. 976
    Anonymous says:

    Beth
    30's
    Married
    OH

    1. Admiration.

    I watched the entire BBC production of _Pride and Prejudice_ this past weekend. Love that story. Realized I love it b/c Darcy loves, admires, pursues, defends, rescues, appreciates and studies to deeply know Elizabeth.

    I was analyzing why I love the story so much and realized I want all of that from my husband. (poor man!) When that doesn't work so well (how could it?!) I look to my children, friends, ministry contacts….etc to provide that admiration.

    I can be very (quietly) competitive. I have admitted to my mother and husband that I almost always want to be the "E-S-T". Meaning the cuEST, smartEST, funniEST, wisEST….you name it….in any given group of women. It's awful.

    The great break-thru was when I realized that I have ALL that Darcy exhibits and much more—perfectly—from my Lord Jesus. Thank You Father! I can let go of the E-S-T b/c I belong to You–the ultimate E-S-T!

    2. Our challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessles until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let your eyes spring open to the treaure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.

    3. Hard to choose. Probably Leah/Rachel b/c I'm studying their story right now in Genesis. What a MESS.

    The part about if you are wishing harm as Saul did—get help, is a great tool.

    Have to add, I've been in several groups of women while reading this book. I go back and forth between being more aware of my own insecurities to seeing how others betray their own. Fascinating! And I am so grateful to know I'm not alone!! I really thought it was just me.

    Thanks!

  27. 977
    Jess says:

    Jess from Huntington Beach, CA
    20's and married

    AMAZINGGGG chapters, Beth!!!

    1. my false positive is everything on the example list. but the most prominent one isn't on there. I think mine is the ideal of the "perfect life and happiness", and the inability to control someone else's behavior. I think, why don't they act like ME… or at least like I want or expect them to. But the irony is that when they DO act how I want, I'm threatened by it and I'm insanely insecure about other people's success and that someone or something will be taken away from me. sheesh… that was hard to admit.

    2. my challenge is to let the ounce of good that's hidden be revealed and overshadow the insecurity. I am desparate to be WHOLE and HEALTHY. I want to be driven and controlled by TRUTH and what GOD says and wants for me… which is NOT insecurity.

    3. I identify with Saul… aka the most insecure man award winner. I'm terrified to loose my job, my husband, my parents… you name it, I live in fear or having it taken away. and I totally identify with the conflict and confusion in Saul's soul, because the people I despise and who threaten me the most, I end up exalting and encouraging (with wrong motives). I also identify with Sari and the threats of another woman. I've been married for 8 months and my husband is a personal trainer and I'm SCARED TO DEATH that he'll find a client or someone with a better body much more attractive… I cannot even wait to read on and get rid of this horrific thing that's been in my life for WAY too long.

  28. 978
    Karen says:

    Karen
    51
    married
    Tennessee

    1) My prominent false positive would be that to be the "perfect" wife and mother…..I need to be cool, calm, collected and curvy in all the right places…not to mention 20 pounds lighter!

    2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    3) I can relate to Paul….certainly the greatest enemy I feel like I have had to face in the fulfillment of my destiny is myself.

  29. 979
    Anonymous says:

    Bonnie
    Williamsburg, VA
    40's
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive throughout my earlier years was a man would make me secure and feel loved. However it left me in the pit. I had to find that only God would fill this need and show me true love and security.

    2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.

    3. I identify with Rachel/Leah more in my past but now days more with Paul. Especially with the dying to self so I can learn to be an open vessel and do God's will in my life. Life is hard and trying to learn to react like Jesus would and not defending myself and letting go and letting God be in control is something I am striving for. I really like the sentences from the book that states. . ."Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." I pray that God will give me the stength, wisdom and revelation to overcome this.

  30. 980
    Pattygarv says:

    Patty
    Lakeport, FL
    40's
    Married

    1. My prominent false positive is looks which would lead to popularity. So I compensated with education. (This was during high school). Now I catch guard myself against taking pride in my education, "lording" it over others, even my husband!!

    2. Our challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. The biblical figure I most relate to is Paul. I used to really not like him. Once I quit "playing" church and really began a relationship with Christ and His word, I found my dislike of paul was because he and I are so much alike!! The statement that resonated with me the most is "a complex mound of clay…. belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag. I could insert my name there! My problem, though, is that most of the belittling takes place inside my head, while the boasting has no problem coming out my mouth!!

  31. 981
    karina268 says:

    My most prominent false positive: a mix of financial/credentials and beauty. I have watched most of my friends my age finish college, start their careers, get married and have kids. I'm almost 30 and haven't finished school yet, am single and in a barely above minimum wage job. Then, not being my ideal weight makes me feel even worse about the above stated insecurities. All of my feelings are just intertwined and feed off of each other. I just don't feel good enough.

    Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    I think I relate most to Moses. My above insecurities make me feel so inadequate. In a worldly sense, I don't measure up to it's success. It's hard b/c it makes me feel spiritually that those insecurities hold me back in some way from being used by God.

    Welcome to my thought life…
    Karina
    Baton Rouge,La.
    20's
    Single

  32. 982
    Emily says:

    1. My prominent false positive is probably my personality. I feel that if I were more outgoing and confident in myself around others then I would be more secure with who I am.

    2. The challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessel until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship" and to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."

    3. Moses' struggle with insecurity hit home with me. I can relate to not being eloquent in speech. So many times I worry about "not saying the right thing" and sometimes I think that I miss opportunities for God to work through me because I'm too afraid to speak for fear that I will say the wrong thing. But, praise God, He is compassionate, gracious, abounding in love and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6). I know He will not give up on me just as He did not give up on Moses.

    Emily
    Topeka, KS
    20's
    Single

  33. 983
    Barbara35 says:

    Barbara
    New Orleans, LA
    30's
    Married

    1.Prominent false positive – Position of Authority. I tend to beleive someone would have to be confident and secure to be in that position anyway.

    2.2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."

    3. I related to Moses because of my fear of public speaking. I have a stuttering problem since childhood. In High School, I hated to give presentations because I could barely get my words out. I can not wrap my mind around be called to public speaking for God. He doesn't need my ability but availability. Pray for me.

  34. 984
    Moose Mama says:

    My most prominent false positive is my weight…how I look. I've lost a lot of weigh but have a lot to go and my biggest fear is that I'll still be insecure when I get to a normal weight, because I'll find that people may not like me. I think a lot of people (mostly Christian women) don't care for me because of the way I look. What if I look OK a year from now, with my weight and they still don't like me…that means it's ME they don't like. Sometimes, it's easy to hide behind the fat…..Do you see why I need this book?

    MY challenge is: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."

    I resonanted most with Sarai and Hagar because "jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat". Nuff said.

    Melana
    Sheridan Wyoming
    50's
    Married (27 yrs on Friday!)

  35. 985
    Arlet says:

    Arlet
    Fircrest, WA
    60's
    married
    I'm thinking it would be easier to list the false positives I don't have! Weight and physical attractiveness are biggies, confidence (or the lack thereof) is another, intellect, competence – somebody stop me!!

    Challenge “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of (me, that is Christ in me) increasingly overtake (my) earthen vessel until it drives (my) every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When (I) allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let (my) eyes spring open to the treasure (I) have, there in His glorious reflection (I’ll) see the treasure (I am). And the beauty of the Lord will be upon (me).

    No surprise I guess that I most identify with Moses. I'm right there with him telling God I can't possibly do what He asks me to do because I'm not adequately equipped.

  36. 986
    kadinman says:

    Kathy
    Eldorado,TX
    50's
    Married
    My most prominent false positive is my weight, I have struggled since I was 10 and that is a long time. It affects every area of my life. I pray each day that the Lord will shine through me and He will be glorified through my life.(which may sound sooo spiritual) but it is because I see nothing in myself that is worthy. Except Him.

  37. 987
    sharilyn says:

    sharilyn
    long beach, ca
    43
    single

    1. a husband and family of my own would make me secure is primary… a close second would be my weight!

    2. …to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake this earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship…to allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes see the treasure I HAVE and, in His glorious reflection, to see the treasure I AM.

    3. …two, really: first Rachel because of your following comment: “nothing like thinking God doesn’t like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure.” I so often compare myself—what I have or don’t (not possessions but as in being single, no children,; gifts & talents; etc), or what I am or am not.

    and secondly, Saul, where you stated – “Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them.” For me, it’s mostly the “somebody” (dear friends) bit… i have a great fear of being alone in this world. 🙁

    i want to be so secure in God's amazing love for me that i don't worry or fret about others or about what my future may hold… i want to be one who others see as well and truly loved.

  38. 988
    kathryn says:

    My most prominent false positive is a little strange. I often feel like I am in the play 'Our Town'. I can't remember her name, but she is the lead. She dies and wants to go back one more time ……she is so excited to see everyone, yet no one sees her, or knows she is there. Many times I feel I am not seen when I am going thru life. I feel like I keep waving, yet no one acknowledges me. Not all the time, but quite often. I can just blend into life. Sort of like the muted pastels in a watercolor painting. How pathetic!

    I identify with many in the Bible, during various phases in life. However, I often feel like Leah. I have not produced any babies, yet I can relate to not really being who the person wanted – even though I give it my all.

    Challenge is: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I Will also see the treasure I am.

    K
    Arizona
    Single
    50's

  39. 989
    Anonymous says:

    40's
    Married
    chicago, IL
    My most prominent false positive is somehow believing that if I could just lose 10-15 pounds, I would be ok–happy with myself, 'adequately' attractive. Rationally, I know that my happiness and self worth is not connected to my fat cells; but, emotionally…that's a different story.

    I think I can identify most closely with Moses because I so often doubt that I am able to competently complete the tasks that God gives me. I really do believe that God is omnipotent and omniscient, that He works through his people to accomplish His purposes, that He has set aside good works for each of us to do and will empower us to do them. I just don't know why that belief falters when I am called to serve in some new capacity—oh wait—must be my INSECURITY! Thankfully, I CAN say that in the end I am usually able to fight back my doubts and fears and press forward by just giving them to God and praying, praying, praying–and that's just what He wants us to do.
    I think that's how I will ultimately get past my self-doubt and rise to the challenge in chapter three—"to let the utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship…allow god's truth to eclipse every false positive…"

  40. 990
    mamashepherd says:

    My most prominent false positive: it's hard to put into more concise words, but my security & confidence has been more related to my son's positive/negative behavior choices –than is good for me as Mom of my two munchkins. When the reality is that he has a biological brain disorder, and there will ever only be so much I can do or say before I have to just let go. For my daughter's sake and for mine. But still…that struggle is what it is, for now.
    Ps.23:1: "The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not want…" it's so hard NOT to hang on to what I want what I want for my son from God.

    2)My challenge at the end of ch.3(I'm want to start trying to own it personally!): "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us(me)increasingly overtake our(my)earthen vesseluntil it drives our(my)every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    3)Which Biblical figure or statement about him/her in ch.4 resonated with me most & why? Moses, because even though I believe God and believe in Him… the struggle of actively risking to believe AND obey Him inspite of (and even because of)how things appear in the 'here and now' happens to be at any given time–is not an area of testing I've done as well as often as I wish.

    …how's that for a run-on sentence?! lol
    Diane
    40
    Ogden, Utah

  41. 991
    Shelley says:

    shelley
    Married
    33
    Cornelius, Oregon

    1.my most prominent false positive is-if I just could loose a few pounds everyone would like me better.
    2. our challenge to let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3.I identify most with a most of them. I am quick to judge, and I get jealous oftern when I feel others have more things then I do. I also am not good at doing what God asked me to do. It takes many times of God showing me what I need to do before I feel confident in dong what needs to be done.

  42. 992
    Vicki says:

    20's
    Single
    Dallas, TX

    1. Prominent Self-Positive: Beauty/ Attractiveness

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am

    3. I hate to say this, but I most related to Saul. Living with a constant fear of loss and the jealousy- it's so destructive. I even find that I can be jealous of my own friends (not because they have something, but because I don't) rather than rejoicing with them- as if God can't abundantly bless me and ALL my friends!!! However, where I am determined to be different than Saul is to seek the Lord and ask Him to give me freedom from my insecurities. I am determined not to let insecurity and the fear of the "what if" keep me from the many good things the Lord has planned for me.

  43. 993
    Rita says:

    Rita
    Colorado Springs, CO
    50's
    Married

    My prominent false positive: that the things I do and the woman I am–created by God–is "enough": A) that the things I do for my children as their mother is enough to provide for them, support and encourage them, educate them, prepare them for life as adults, care for them, impart God's Word into them, propel them forward and love them equally. B) that the woman I am is enough to hold the attraction and attention of my husband, that the love I give him is enough to keep him loving and liking me, and that the other women in his work life will not "outshine" me. C) that the musical and vocal talents God has created me with are enough to allow me to continue praising Him as a member of our church praise/worship team. Do you get what I am saying? Despite the fact I know without hesitation that God created me with a voice and a passion to sing for Him and call others into worship of Him, i still do not feel "enough". D) that the 45-50 hour work weeks i put in are "enough" to accomplish the tasks laid before me to the best of my ability. E) that the love I feel for and share with my siblings and their families is enough . . . that there is always something more i could do let them know i love them.

    The challange: Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthern vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    Beth, I most resonate with the words you wrote about Paul: "the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself." "The essence of the crucified life was a daily dying to the part of himself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the great work of God in him." For as you wrote in the middle of chapter 4, "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities."

    I pray that–in God's strength–I can overcome my insecurities to live up to the full potential and role He has created for me to provide to my fellow man while my feet walk this earth. How disappointed I will be to stand before Him and find that He had so much more for me to do/be . . . if only I would have believed I was ENOUGH!

  44. 994
    Ellymae828 says:

    Ellen
    Long Beach, ca
    50's
    Single/divorced
    1. False positive – I would have to say my weight – If only – I have struggled so long with this issue–
    If I could lose and keep off these 30lbs. I would be able to do so much more for the Lord and be the woman he wants me to be. OR I would disappoint him again and get involved with some guy I shouldn't and find myself right back where I was 16 years ago – haven't had a date in 16 years because of the trouble I got myself into then. LONG Story
    2. The challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
    3. Sarah – I see myself a little bit in her, maybe a stretch I don't know but she gave it all for her man- she wanted to please him so much that she changed for him. Gave him something she thought he wanted or needed. Then she realized the mess she created and it was too late. She took it out on everyone.

  45. 995
    Pam says:

    My most prominent false positive is I'm not sure ! I can remembering wanting everyone to like me when I was a kid. I didn't think I was as pretty as the other girls.So that would be popularity and beauty . You know I don't seem to think that now at my age but it must be in there still somewhere.

    The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
    " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."

    Most relate to Moses and the woman at the well.

    I've got to tell you my progress with my book 🙂 I'm the one that laid out my lunch and then covered my book. I don't cover the book anymore and have read lots of the commets and I am just putting it out there and going to get rid of any insecutiy like a lot of the ladies said they wanted to do. Thanks for the inspiration to do that.
    If anyone ask me who is Beth Moore I am going to say she is a friend of mine.

    Pam
    Campbellsburg In,
    50's
    Single ( Widow )

    I am so excited to have won in the drawing.

  46. 996
    molly says:

    Molly
    40's
    Single, never married
    Camarillo, CA

    1.So many false positives in this girl's life, some of which are woven together, but the most prominent would be weight/size.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my mind and heart … allow God's truth to eclipse EVERY false positive so that I may see the treasure I have and the treasure I am because the beauty of the Lord my God is upon me. (didn't think you'd mind if I personalized it.)

    3. I most identify with Leah longing to be loved and desired by a man.

    So thankful God is always in the business of bringing truth, healing and transformation to my life. Thank you, Beth, for inviting me on this journey.

  47. 997
    Cari says:

    Cari
    Arvada
    50's
    married

    1. Prominent false positive is my weight and looks. One goes hand in hand with the other. when he weight goes up my self esteem goes down.
    2. Challenge: to let the healthy utterly whole, and completely secure partof us increasely over take our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
    3. It's Saul. "Insecurity lives in a constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or someone is going to be taken away from them" It comes from my childhood. Parents divorced when I was in 4th grade. dad remarried and divorced again. My sister married and left home. It goes on and on. I am married for 33 years and still love my husband!

  48. 998
    Amy says:

    Amy
    Washington D.C.
    20s
    Single
    1) My prominent false positive is two things, but as you said, one comes out more than the other. So my first is definitely weight/beauty. I've ALWAYS believed that in order for me to have total security I have to be thin and beautiful. This ruined my teen years and my college years. It's kept me from taking the risks I've always wanted to take, doing the things I've longed to do because I was always afraid of what my body would look like while doing those things. What if my thigh looks too big, what if I jiggle here or bounce there? What if my chin suddenly had two? I wouldn't play volleyball with my friends, wear dresses that were gorgeous, or ride in the same car as guys. This false positive kept me from saying yes to the one invitation I've ever received from a guy to go dancing at a ball. I'm 27 years old and I've never even been asked out on a date…never been told by a guy that I was beautiful (other than my father and brothers), and certainly never heard from the "chain of friends" that some guy liked me. Once I mustered the courage to take ballroom dance lessons with other people at my grad school. The guy who later asked me to the grad school's annual ball was turned down because I was too scared to show my arms in a sleeveless gown. In fact, hardly any of my friends have ever seen me in a tank top.

    The second false positive is…you guessed it…guys and romance. I think I explained that enough, except to say that after all these years I'm starting to question whether all this heartache over never having been asked out is all the guys fault. Have I been scared all these years too?

    Yes, mama…our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    I wrote at the end of this: Father, i did not know that these two areas were the prominate false positives of my life. But i am encouraged to know they can be diminished. yes, I am partially a wreck; I have so much to work on. But you reside in me and you are completely healthy. I desire for you to completely and wholly take over my life. Take it to the point of overtaking and driving my being, emotion, reaction, and relationship.
    2) I resonate with Moses the most. Feeling sof inadequacy even after he did amazing things is exactly who I am and what I do to myself. I am one of those who not only is but fears of being the kind to never fulfill their calling and purpose simply beause of my own insecurities. All throughout college my mother and father encouraged me when all I could do was cry over these very two false positives (and others like the insecurity of thinking I am not as smart as others, not up to their calibur, and not as great or special). They encouraged me as I would tell them in between breathes that I constantly heard the devil's proding at me almost every moment of everyday, even as I walked to classes or to my job or cafeteria, "Look at her hair…it's wavy, yours is ugly, she wears those jeans amazing, it's because she is thin and you aren't." Over and over again they listened to my troubles and one thing would stop my crying over it all…it's when my mother would tell me, "God will not use you to the measure of His greatness if you don't tear down these insecurities." Even now I get chills thinking of those times on the floor of my dorm hallway. I've let these insecurities rule over my life for 16 years…it's time to take over and let God have the reigns.

  49. 999
    tayjdavis says:

    1. My “prominent false positive” is definitely body image- that losing weight would make me feel secure.

    2. “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.”
    What a great challenge!

    3. I identify most with Saul. It doesn’t take much to make me jealous and scared someone is going to take something from me or get something I want to have. The sentence “Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss” is completely me. I always fear loss in some way.

    Page 35, I really resonated with the statement, “You and I are going to have to come to a place where we stop handing people the kind of power only God should wield over us.” I constantly look to others to get approval for decisions, life choices, etc. rather than asking myself and God if it’s ok.

    Taylor
    Dallas, TX
    20s
    single

  50. 1000
    Mindy says:

    Mindy
    Oakdale, CA
    30s
    Single

    I am SO excited to be joining in this week! This is officially my first post and I am working to catch up (I just received my book yesterday)!

    1. My prominent false positive would ABSOLUTELY be having a man in my life. I have been single now for several years and most of my friends are married. Due to the severity of my past relationships (the father of my first child is currently in prison and the father of my other three children resides in another state and hasn't seen his children in over a year), I steer clear from relationships (mainly due to the fear of repeating the same mistakes – "It's time I got healthy enough emotionally to choose my lifelong companions better" is my new mantra!). I have gone to great lengths to protect my children from another one of my 'relationship mistakes' but cannot seem to get away from the idea that everything would be better if I were to find a man.

    2. "Let the HEALTHY, utterly WHOLE, and completely SECURE part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it DRIVES our every emotion, reaction, and relationship!"

    3. I would have to say that I relate most to Leah, in that my value/worth was/is wrapped up in my child-making ability. I also relate to the 'settling for an attachment' statement (after the third child). I remember coming to a point in my relationship where I said, "If he just loves the children, I'm ok with that. I just want him to live the children. That's enough. I can live with that."

    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share!

    I feel blessed to be a part of this quest with all of you! God bless you on your journey!
    <3

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