Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
A Skin Bag for Jesus! 
Kerry/Ohio/30s/married
1. It took a while for me to pinpoint one Prominent False Positive, but I think I have it -popularity/acceptance. If I can be popular, have a better personality, my insecurities will magically disappear. I don't want to be the center of attention, but I want people to like and accept me, and I tend to think I can get this through success.
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I identify most with Moses. In my heart I know God has a plan for me, but I can't seem to get that into my head. I like what Beth said on page 52, "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities." I have big dreams and ideas (many of which I'm sure are God-inspired) but I talk myself out of them saying they're silly, too hard, not what I'm meant to do. If I can overcome my insecurity issue, just think of what I can accomplish!
Oh Beth…(can I call you "just" Beth? LOL) when I saw MY name beside YOUR name I got excited. ha!! I had to scroll around several times to see if you were really talking to me!!
Anyway, I just wanted to share with you that I AM reading this book!! 🙂 I actually am not in the midst of the darkest point of depression…the medication has definitely helped me a lot. I didn't want to give the wrong impression or for you to worry.
I am so encouraged that you have said the 2nd half is focusing on healing. I think just knowing what is coming is helpful. BUT, mostly I want you to know that this book IS what I need…I really, really believe that God has me at this place for a purpose…for such a time as this, as I learned from your Esther study last semester. 🙂 We are right smack dab in the middle of the new Breaking Free…wow!! I really believe that God's timing is perfect and these 2 things going together is what I need…I think I just need a little more encouragement than the average person sometimes. 🙂
anyway, I'm rambling…just excited cause I feel like I'm talking to you!! 🙂
Love and much thankgiving for you and your ministry!
Candace
Loretta
Wiggins, MS
30's
divorced (mom of 3)
Ok so I obviously didn't read chapter four before I answer…If I had to pick just from the four or so champions mentioned, it would unfortunately be the Winning Women- Rachel and Leah, but if we were looking at the entire bible it would be Solomon who had everything, but his insecurity was not being smart enough to handle his royally enormous responsibilities …likewise I grew up with nothing and felt/feel the same way.
But like you have challenged, we are to drain out all the bad in order to refill with Jesus's goodness…right?
Patty
40's
Married
Lakeport, FL
Since I JUST got my book through the mail Friday, I want to comment on WK. 1's questions. I'll come back later for Week 2.
1. The last time I was confronted with our gender's insecurity was in Sunday School. We have women who are totally insecure for a variety of reasons (not my stories to tell).
2. What part of the definitions resonated with me….
To be honest, it was the "emotional predator" part! As I look around me, I see that I have surrounded myself with insecure/needy people, hardly any of them extreme, but enough to make me perceive myself as "normal".
Do I really prey on others' insecurities? What buried insecurity do I have myself that needs to be fed by others to make me feel in control?
Must dig deeper….
chapter 3…..
30's
married, MO
False Positive – appearance & the 10lbs thinner thing.
Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Identify most with Sarai – feeling threatened enough to make wrong relational moves.
Sharon
Montgomery, AL
40s
Married
Can I first say: What utterly and totally beautiful and precious women are on here! But ya'll, aren't we a mess!!!! ((**smile**)). I don't know whether to laugh or cry… so I've done a little of both (or really, maybe a lot!). I could just picture us all lined up carrying our pitiful luggage and walking to the throne of grace (very somberly so!) and giving our Father our hurt, our lack for security here in this world, and asking Him to help us with it. To remove the load that we burden ourselves with. Don't you know that He not only wants to help, but that He's awfully proud of the strength and the heart of His girls!
1. I don't know that I know how to pinpoint my one prominent false positive….. but I suppose the most I feel insecure (and ALWAYS have) about is my weight! My pfp would be that I would completely feel totally secure if I could chisel and muscle this body into perfect Barbie proportions (tanned of course!!!) to stay there forever. Ugh…. and age isn't at all helping me to do that. It's like ice-cream in the hot summer sun. I don't care how fast you try to lick it, it's coming down, it's spilling over, and totally making a mess of everything! It's sagging and bagging and wrinkling and dimpling faster than this licker can stop it. I'm making a joke of it, but seriously, it's crippling and not much fun. 🙁
2. The Challenge in Chapter 3 states: " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. I can so relate to Moses. I have had one burning bush experience after another (God is so GOoD) with God speaking to me through it, obviously sending me to go on His mission to exactly where He wants me to go….. But I feel so inadequate, so ill-equipped, so tongue-tied(!), so dumb(!) that I want to question Him and ask, "Are You sure You mean me??? Do You realize who it is that You are sending?"
1. My prominent false positive: if I had an outgoing personality I would be more secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The Biblical figure I resonate most with is Moses. I often feel over my head and inadequate in the life God has called me to live. Moses taught me that it's okay to fall on my face before God and confess my insecurities in certain situations. He also showed me that afterwards, I can stand tall and carry out the Lord's commands. It is God who strengthens me and makes my way perfect. He will go before me and will never leave me.
Tamara
New Braunfels,Tx
30
I know at one time or another I have struggled with many of the false postive's listed. Currently, I find myself thinking that if my husband was more of a spiritual leader in our home, things would be so much more joyful. I have to fight off feelings of envy of those whose husbands already are. I am just believing God that he is at work in his life and I can find security in that alone.
CHALLENGE:
*Oh that I let God's truth eclipse every false positive!!!*
I can very much relate to Moses, I am always ready to hand over a task to someone else because I just know God could use them better. It is so hard for me to believe that He is equipping me as well. I have stepped out of my comfort zone more than ever this past year…and I can see God just doing His thing. Yet, I hear that dreadful record player reminding me that I am so not qualified. I am not…but HE is. Why is it so hard to grasp that??
1. prominent false positive- wishing my past were something more pleasant, wishing other women in Christ were more accepting of women like me..
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out/our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3.resonated with Hagar, but i see her so differently. As a maidservant she had very little choice in all of this..it doesn't say she was even attracted to Abraham, he was an old man! I even understand er anger with the whole situation. Usually i resonate with the woman at the well..and often wonder how did she fare with other women believers, after she believed…
Judy
Lake Charles, LA
60
Single
My false positive seems strange, but I think about it often. I feel that if I just had enough money to get the septic tanks fixed, the driveway paved, and all of the pine trees cut on my property and my rental property, then I would have no worries. Pretty stupid, huh?
To let the healthy,utterly whole,and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Paul, because I tend to trust in my own wisdom and experiences. God reminds over and over again that I "have not arrived spiritually". Believe me, I still have a long way to go! I also agree with his feelings that I can have a more effective ministry as a singe person.
Loretta
Wiggins, MS
30's
Divorced (mom of 3)
I don't know about anyone else, but I can't stop reading the post on here…I want to love on all of yall with encouragement in each individual situation…
I found a great visual illustration for our challenge btw http://media.efluids.com/galleries/fun?medium=525 please check it out!!!
Amy
GA
30
Married
1) My most prominent false positive was so easy to recognize…being thinner than I am. I'm not even overweight – I'm actually at a healthy weight and take good care of myself. I have also come a long way with this in the last few years. But, I still find myself thinking sometimes that life would be better if I was ten pounds lighter. How ridiculous!
2) Challenge: God, help me to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessels until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Amen.
3) I think the Biblical figure that resonated most with me was Leah. There were so many times in my past when I thought that if I just did a certain something a guy would love me or love me more. Over and over and over again. I constantly was seeking security in guys instead of my savior, Jesus Christ. So, here I am, married for 3 1/2 years, and I realize I still do it with my husband sometimes!
1) My prominent false positive- if I was thin I would not be insecure.
2) The challenge: To be embraced by the love God has for me and know that when I wrap myself in the beautiful security blanket that is my Lord I become a reflection of Him, so I am glorious.
3)Sarai is who I identified most with. Jealousy is often the root of my insecurities.
Laura
Kansas
30's
Married
Ann, 40's, Married, VA
1. Prominent false positive — it would have to be money/financial security. I just think that would solve everything. (Not true, I know!)
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses – I feel soooo ill-equipped for the task at hand . . . which includes raising a bunch of BOYS!
Lichlle
40's Single
False Positive… I think I have some of all of it … but my biggest one is… That if I had a great man I would be secure… All my life I never felt like I was good enough to have a great man and keep him. I would usually in a relationship give a man anything or everything I had to keep him and that would just leave me more unhappy than if I never had one to begin with.
I then decided if I couldn't keep a man, given them what they wanted or not.. that I was still not good enough,and so I would just stop trying. I put on way to much weight so they wouldn't even look at me. I thought that would keep me secure…I can tell you that isn't working either.
Challenge:
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
Who do I most relate to… wow… I guess that would be Leah. Why she kept giving what she thought would make her husband happy and it didn't and it didn't make her happy either.
BJ, Kansas City, MO
late 20s, single
I think my most prominent false positives (which I wrote in the book while reading) are marriage, athleticism and style. I think marriage is an obvious one, but I also somehow think that if I'm more athletic / in shape, and if I wear cuter clothes and look more put together, it will help me land a man. It's all very connected in my mind and hard to fight when my closest girlfriends in the world are georgous, athletic, super cute dressers, and married.
Our challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." Sweet Jesus, may it be so….
I think the person I identify with most is Sarai. God had promised her time and time again of His future for her and Abram and the fact that He would bless them with children. Yet, unable to comprehend with her human mind how that would ever be possible, she began to look for ways to "help" God out in fulfilling His promise. Her insecurity was born out of unbelief and disaster resulted as she tried to take over for God in building her future. Unfortunately, this is something I relate to far too well…
Kristin
Ponchatoula, LA
29
Married
My false positive is definitely pretty woman are not insecure. I am sad to say that I tend to put way too much thought into my own outer appearance…which has led me down this awful road of insecurity. You said it best when you said, "First, I step in it, then swim in it, then drown in it." I actually wrote "MY PROGRESSION" next to that statement.
Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." You said it so perfectly! I want God's truth to REIGN over all of my insecurities and for His resounding affirmation to be the only voice in my head!
The Biblical figure that most resonated with me was definitely Saul. I hate that I can be jealous at times, and it is always b/c of my own insecurities. I like how you brought up the point that Saul was jealous of the very person he put into the position. That sort of thing happened in my life, and this just so rang loud and clear for me!
I truly love you, Beth. I am a teacher and mother of 3-ages 4, 3, and 17 mos. I am so happy that you did this online Bible study. It is perfect for me!!!
Jeanine
Wisconson
40's
Married
My PFPs are that a degree and stable job would make me feel secure. I also struggle with body issues and think me minus 15-20 pounds would be another way for me to feel secure.
The challenge: "To let the unhealthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earhten vesels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
I most identify with Moses. I never think that I'm good enough to be the "speaker" even though it may be something I really want to do.
Heather said something above about her husband that is exactly my PFP. She said ,“If I knew for sure he would NEVER leave me for another woman or image, then I could be secure. Therefore, my PFP becomes trying to be better than every other woman that comes near us. It's a pretty heavy load to bear, always trying to be better in EVERYTHING than EVERY OTHER FEMALE that comes near. God help me!” I could SO relate to what she said. My first husband was a sex addict and I had NO IDEA until we had been married for 8 years. My second husband is an amazing man who loves the Lord but I always think he’s going to find someone else and eventually leave me. This makes me feel like I have to look perfect which is impossible. It doesn’t help that in our society, we’re bombarded with sexual images everywhere (billboards, magazines in grocery stores, etc.). I feel like we can’t go anywhere without some gorgeous, perfect, half-naked woman staring us in the face. It is such a burden to bear, just like Heather said. Sometimes I think life would just be easier not being married and having this kind of pressure. The bottom line is this: Men do sometimes leave their wives and children after years of being married and usually for a newer model. But the good news is we have the Lord and can place our security in Him. He adores us and will never leave us!! We are beautiful to Him…we are his precious daughters and He’ll never break a promise!!! He made us and like Psalm 18:19 says, He delights in us! ☺
Jeanine
Wisconsin
40's
Married
My PFTs are that a degree and stable job would make me feel secure. I also struggle with my body and feel that me minus 15-20 pounds would make me secure, too.
The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." Allow God's Truth to take over and show through.
I identify with Moses. I, too want someone else to be the "speaker," even though it may be something I really want to do or feel led to do.
only got through chapter 3 so far… I'm stuck. Really I'm messed up…but at least I now know I'm not there alone! My false positive is where I'm stumped… I think It's my weight. I'm 150 pounds over weight…and everytime I try to do something about it I sabatogue ? myself to be fatter…but it's also about being single, b/c everything seems to revolve around that. I'm single because I'm fat. If I were married…I would have children…a second (well, in my case a fifth) income, someonce that loves me (at least once in a while or the once to ask me to marry them)… sigh. I'll get to chapter four in a bit.
Bridget
Moore, OK
40's
Divorced
My Prominent false positive most definitely deals with marriage.
All I ever wanted was to marry a strong, Christian man, and have that picture perfect family. Instead, I made the choice to marry for immediate security or "emotional coverage" as the book says, even when I knew deep in my soul it was the wrong thing to do.
When I see Christian couples who are devoted to the Lord, my heart becomes sad and heavy – because I still long for a loving Christian man and marriage.
And let me say this, it is really easy for married women to tell single women that God is really all they need – because married women have someone tangible to love, to hold, to share real life with, and yes, to feel secure with.
The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Character(s) I resonate with most – I believe I have a little bit of Sari in me in that "monumentally foolish decisions can catapult you into insecurities…" Our foolish decisions were not the same – but foolish nonetheless. In retrospect, I am pretty sure I could spell "I-D-I-O-T" out about my decision as well.
I also share the likes of Moses – we both think alike as to how we view our vocal capabilities.
With the execption being that I talk faster when nervous. But mostly, it is because I do not think I would be received well by others.
1. My most prominent false positive – So very hard to pick one. I am very insecure about my appearance but also worry about finances. Why must we be so shallow!
2. Our Challenge is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and to see His glorious reflection in me and let HIS beauty be upon me.
3. I guess I would relate to Moses. To believe that God would use me instead of someone much smarter and eloquent of speach. I don't know. I love God and I know he believes more in me than I do myself!
Carol
Poplar Bluff, MO
40's
Married
Janice –
Widow, 60's
Lake Forest, Ca
My "Prominent False Positive" is money. I keep thinking if I had more of it, my life would be better.
The challenge stated at the end of Chp. 3 is to permit Jesus Christ to take charge of our minds until he drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to fully cover every false positive, our eyes will spring open to the treasure we actually are as the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
Moses' statement, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it," I identify with wholeheartedly. I'm a PK (preacher's kid) and grew up in the church, but I became very rebellious. I didn't want anyone to tell me what to do, so many years later, when God came to me, the rebellious one, in a vision and asked me to do something,I told him he made a mistake. I kept cutting him off and wouldn't let him finish his statement. I knew if I heard what he wanted, I'd have no choice but to do it. At the time I was committing multiple sins. I was sinning and didn't know if I could or even wanted to stop. Since then, I've begged for forgiveness, and wept repeatedly over this. I know God has forgiven me, but I still wonder why he would want me, of all people. I also wonder exactly what he wanted me, Janice, to do. I guess if he could use an ass to speak to Balaam (Numbers 22:30), he could certainly use me. All I know is I want to be used by him today. I surrender all.
Monica
Ohio
40
Married
Just finished Chapter 4 and can I, unfortunately, relate to Saul in the "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss" statement. As I mentioned in my week one comment, my mother's death continues to plague my current life. The fear of abandonment gives me that exact insecurity. If your own parent(mom, no less) "leaves" you by her own hand, how could anyone else love you enough to stick around? Is it real or is it just a matter of time? I have been married for almost 19 years to a GREAT man, not perfect, but pretty terrific. Most days are still sheer bliss and mush; and then days when I feel my life is a bit out of control in one area or the other, I notice, usually later than sooner, that my attitude/behavior towards my man becomes irritable and defensive and questioning. Most typically it has nothing to do with him but everything to do with me and my loss of control, fearing loss in some area of my life. The good thing about it is that I recognize this craziness and have to STOP and give it straight to God. When I do that I recover quickly and my husband suffers only a smidge. Thank GOD that I have been able to see that evil rear it's ugly head, most times, before it's out of hand.
Cinders
Amherst OH
50s
Single
My book was on back order so I'm in catch up mode…
Week 1:
Most recent gender struggles with my former female supervisor who used her insecurities to remind me of mine! Allowed no room for growth – I was stagnant. I am no longer in this situation praise God.
I LOVED the 3 steps forward, 2 steps back – still one step ahead of the game!!!
The part of definition that resonated with me was the self doubt of my own feelings and desires are legitimate. Self worth.
Week 2:
PFP is appearance – looks and weight struggles. These can affect acceptance, appeal, and success.
All that matters is having Jesus in the center of your soul. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. We are God's treasure!
I guess I relate most with the insecurity of Saul – years in a dysfunctional marriage had me "hidden in some baggage". But I used to call it a brick wall that I constructed around me for protection. The brick wall went down one brick at a time – a long process. You hit the nail on the head in the pre-simulcast when you said it's not just about trusting others again but it's also about trusting yourself.
Jennifer
Buena Vista, va
20s
single
1. My prominent false positive is wanting to be liked by everyone.
2. The challenge is to let the healthy uttrly whole and competly secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessles until it drives our every emotion,reaction and relationship
3. The person I can relate to most is saul. I'm in constant fear that someone close to me is going to be taken away from me.
1. I think that image covers the two that circle around most often. The beauty portion of it has been especially difficult for me. As I age, thinness and body proportions and muscle tone haunt me.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. Psalm 90:17
3. I think Sarai because she didn't have what she wanted. She wasn't able to see or wait for the plan of God. She could only conceive one plan in her mind and felt forgotten. In our recent move to a new city I am without a job in the workforce. It has taken every ounce of obedience that I have to wait and not make my own plans. I have always worked part time – partly because of financial need but it also filled a greater need of contribution and personal satisfaction. I believe this time is here for a reason and definitely feel it is God's doing and I don't want to miss one single blessing of this building up time. I've wrestled with the fact that I may not be going back to "work" the way I thought. I've realized that I strongly associate my self worth with a paying job. My pride is taking a hit and I pray I am obedient in the daily "jobs" that God places before me.
Nicole
Winnipeg, Canada
30's
Married
Sue, Yuba City, CA, Age 55
My false positive is, if I was pretty and thin, I would be worthy to be loved.
Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. "let it be Lord".
Awesome book, Miss Beth. It's just begging to be a full-fledged, in-depth Bible study complete with DVDS and workbook. 😀
* * * * *
(In reverse order)
Ch. 4) I think I relate most to Paul, who was able to write down his thoughts much better than he could speak them. People found him lacking. I feel insecure and less respected also, because I haven't yet hit certain benchmarks in life.
ch. 3) My "false positive" is being thin. Not only does society respond more favorably, but being thinner means feeling healthier and having more energy and enthusiasm. I used to have that in high school (I know, didn't we all?), but I especially need it now in order to make some changes.
The challenge at the end of Ch. 3 is to evict our false positive(s), to replace the one thing that we think would make us secure in all things. My mind drifted to the Psalms right after reading that sentence.
In Psalms 16:2 David said, "You are my Lord. Apart from you I have no good thing." NIV note: The Lord is David's one and only good thing.
On days when I'm very aware of His presence–and His joy, it seems that the entire day is "golden," that everything miraculously goes right. His joy and deep peace drive doubt away. HE IS my "one thing"!
Sing with me…
Everybody I know says they need just one thing,
And what they really mean is that they need just one thing more.
And everybody seems to think
They've got it coming.
Well I know that I don't deserve You,
Still I want to love and serve You
More and more.
You're my one thing.
My one thing! You're my one thing!
And the pure in heart shall see God.
You're my one thing!
You're my one thing!
The pure in heart shall see God.
Lise
Indianapolis
45
single
Tammy
Kernersville, NC
30's
single
1) Okay so I know this might sound fake, but I don't really have a prominent false positive and the reason is kinda sad. I don't know of any women who seem secure around me. Every woman I know, even casually, has some area of her life where I can sense the insecurity or I can guess that its there. If I had to pick something, it would be that being married to a great man would make me secure. But even as I write that, I know its not true and I have recognized the hard way through my last relationship that even if I had that, I would still be telling myself that something is missing. I know tthat security can only come from the Lord…but knowing something and actively applying that knowledge are two different things.
2) The challenge is to let the secure part of you, overtake us until all our unhealthy emotions, thoughts, and relationships are gone.
3) I resonated most with Paul. I have felt so many times that I have to convince people that I am good enough to be used by God, that what I have done in the past was so bad that I'm not as good as other people. It has literally kept me from allowing people to get close to me because I'm afraid that they will discover something about my past and judge me.
RaeLeen
40's
recently divorced in Indiana
I work nights in the ER. Around 4:30 am, when I had a second to read in my new book, I read about what we would name our babies today, When I read, " Hemorroid" I found myself laughing out loud. The next night at work was not so funny, as I continued in my book. I felt for the first time in my life that I understood an area in my life that never made sense to me before (pg 54) " Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are aways afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." At the end of the chapter I wrote, " WOW! I love this Lord! Please God don't allow the worse of life get the best of me because I'm really bloody right now!" After 24 years on the mission field my divorce went through, after I returned from the Siesta's in Houston. I was honored to get to talk with AJ and get my picture taken with her. I love you Beth!
Jennifer, 30's,married, Florida
My prominent false positive is my appearance/clothes;at this point in my faith walk it is both conscious and unconscious. If I at least look good on the outside, I feel like it helps with what is going on inside. It stems right out of how I related to my mother after she lost custody of me and my brother as children…she took me shopping. It was how we could relate. I do recognize it for what it is but the urge is still there; that's what I want gone. When I feel disappointment, hurt, or relational pain I want my first urge to be something new from God rather than from my favorite clothing store. For now, I've been trying to walk out how someone would act if that were the case, but I'm ready to get at the root of this.
2. I totally relate to Paul. I always have; my conversion was dramatic (at least for my life it was) and I am amazed everyday that God is willing to use me despite my shortcomings. But there are certain things that gave me pride before I came to Christ and I see myself trying to hold on to them when I feel insecure; particularly my knowledge. In the past I used it like a weapon; the smarter I seemed at your expense, the better. In a sense, it was a false positive. Trust me, God beat that right out of me. But when I feel insecure, I tend to go back to it. I'm a smart person, right? How did this happen, I ask? I relate because I feel like I am "dying daily to the parts of myself that would deny, destroy or distract from the great work of God in me." I wish the process wasn't so conspicuous and made me so dang 'self'-conscious all the time questioning everything I do…I wish it came more natural.
Beth
30's
Married
Madison, AL
My own "Prominent False Positive" is my weight. I think every morning when I look in the mirror after getting dressed, "YUCK!"
Our challenge is to the let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Sarai is who I most relate to. I struggled with infertility twice and both times I felt like the BAD wife who couldn't give my husband the child he so desperately wanted.
Holly, 36
Williamston, SC
Single – Never Married
1) my pfp would probably be marriage. This used to really not bother me until i came south. I had a solid group of "girlfriends" in WV/VA, that would encourage, get real with and dig deeper into the word. It has become hard to do that here, for my career leaves me with limited time, and 98% of my friends here are married – so i believe the marriage thing is two fold, security in a relationship and really a new bf… I KNOW this is wrong… and just yesterday a college student that i have mentored were discussing this is NOT what God desires about us. so with that… the Challenge is piercing me thru 🙂
2) The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3) The Character that most resonated with me was Paul. In my career, I am a female among males in the sports world. I am the one that holds an athlete out in injuries, and therefore not the coaches best friend. An incident that happened this past year reminded me of the 2 Cor 11:5-6 passage… In which my credentials were questioned flat out in front of the rest of the coaching staff. I don't have to tell you that I do possess the credentials to perform my Job, and God is the one who literally walked me thru getting them. So when a coach attacks that I usually fight back. As I look back on my journal from that time, I see i too had the next few pages, of God you put me here, and I truly am nothing without Him. (super-humble huh???!!! )
Thanks again for writing this book, i cannot seem to get enough, and am having so many things come to the surface to deal with, kinda like that Mad dog.. only this time – i want to fight it out.
Dear Anonymous who is stumped about the PFP in chapter three, Don't analyze too long. Just go forward into Chapter Four so you can keep moving toward the healing section of the book. I recognize the self-loathing. I have been there. The God of all creation created you. He loves you so much. He has plans for you and they are GOOD. RIGHT. Keep putting one foot in front of the other in this adventure of faith. Do not let the enemy keep you in that place of hiding. Live out here in the light. You are loved and accepted in Jesus' Name here.
D'Anna
Philadelphia, PA.
30s
Married
1. My false positive, following the format Beth used is: "you're married to a wonderful pastor and have the most beautiful baby boy and you seem so confident". Prominent false positive: you have no idea seista how long the path to get there has been and how much I have had my nose in God's Words for some healing, requiring a huge daily grounding in who God says I am.
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Oh a huge AMEN to that.
3. I identify with Saul. my insecurities have been really driven by fear of loss and afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from me. My past, when single and dating, was marred with rejection and loss,so much that the enemy really has been at me and using that fear of people rejecting or leaving me… but praise God, through a healthy dose of his Word each day… God tell me who I am and what he can do in the hearts of those who are fully and wholly dedicated to HIM.
I love you all and pray God's powerful blessing upon all of us as we go through this journey.
Star
Jackson, TN
30's
Married
I knew I was insecure, that is why I bought the book. I just don't think I realized how deeply I was affected by it until I began reading and joined this discussion group. I got on to comment last week, saw there were already like 800 comments and immediately changed my mind. I mean, if 800 people had already said something, what importance could what I had to say matter!
I tried again, last night to get on and comment about Ch. 3&4. After all, there were only 300 commenters so far! I couldn't do it. I couldn't type the words or formulate the sentences. I still feel unable. If I were to begin, this would turn into a book, not a comment. But I want to thank you. I will probably not ever comment again. I am not sure I will even read a lot of the comments, at least not for now. But you have written something desperately needed by women today and I pray fervently that God will use it to heal me as well as others! God bless you!
Question 1: I have two prominent false positives: losing weight and moving. For some reason, I've always felt that if I could just be a little thinner life would be better. I also often find myself discontent with where I'm living (I never envisioned myself living where I do now) and desiring/believing life would be so much better could I move.
Question 2: Let the truth that my value is found in God and who He is eclipse all my false positives.
Question 3: I found great encouragement about what you said about Paul and pray that God would also use me in spite of myself!
Angie, 30s, married
Hattie, 35 married in OK. Beth, just received your book from my sweet husband. He knows I love & respect you but I was a little offended that he thought I was insecure. But he does know me well! He said to leave the jacket on because he thinks you are "hot"! :)Hello additional insecurity…joke. I think you are a beautiful woman; inside & out!love & blessings!
40's, married
False positives–I knew I had issues with finances–putting my security in money and my ability to make money instead of in God. But yesterday something happened that brought out another false positive. I got a letter telling me there was an area found on my recent mamogram that needed "further study." I had no idea I had so much security caught up in my health! Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to deal with all the insecure areas!!
Challenge: Lord, let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and realtionship!!
40s
married
self doubt is destroying my life. struggling with making the right decisions about my children and my job. I am suffering tremendous pain in my job and know I have to quit it, but my husband does not want me to. It makes me wonder whether I am wrong in quitting my job because I would go against his wishes but knowing I have to… back and forth. This has been going on for 12 years! I'm still doing the same stinking job because I make a lot of stupid money and my husband has addictions and obsessions that he has to feed. There. I said it. It is out. I'm tired. I'm tired of no support. I know the Lord would absolutely take care of our needs. I trust Him completely, but my husband doesn't. Sigh.
1) My prominent false positive definitely deals with my marriage and my husband. It is that I would be more secure if my husband would show me that he loves me. I can spend a ton of time spinning ideas in my head that he doesn't even love me at all and that he's only in this because he made the commitment and because of the kids.
2)The challenge issued is: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3)I suppose, going along with number one, that the character I most relate to is Leah. I worry that my husband will think someone else is more attractive and that he'll wish he was with someone else. I don't expect my husband to meet all my needs, but I'd just like to feel like I'm special to him. Gosh, I sound so pathetic…
NEED THIS BOOK!! THANK YOU!!
Jennifer
Sun City, AZ
30's
Married
Siestas,
Question,??????
How do we give others "power" over us?
I've been pondering this from Beth,
"You and I are going to have to come to a place where we stop handing people the kind of power only God should wield over us"
One way I believe we give others power over us is, we let them "name" us. We believe that if we were, smarter, prettier, thinner, we would get their approval, and then we would get this validation we so desperatly want. This is the big lie I'v been believing! We could be trying to be "Enough" the rest of our days, when the TRUTH says, I Am loved with an everlasting love! I am loved! So can it be I can love with out much (approval) flowing back to me? I am just starting to grasp the TRUTH, only God can "name" me. To be this woman whom Jesus loves Is ENOUGH!
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction,and relationship.
So, what other ways do we give people power over us? I would love to hear your insights!
Barb, MN, 60's, married
False Positive:
If my husband were more sensitive to and/or responsive to
my stated needs I would be more secure.
Challlenge:
"When we allow God’s truth to
eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring
open to the treasure we have."
Moses. Besides unbelief
and disobedience, lack of trust in God has led to huge
insecurities.
Psalm 34:3-4 Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
I wrote this in the cover of my book. Hope it encourgages you too.
Lois
50's
Married
Manchester, MO
1. Most prominent false positive – if I could make everyone around me happy, and everyone was pleased with me, I would be secure.
2. Challenge – to let the healthy, whole, completely secure part of me (Jesus) increasingly take control until He drives every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. "Jealously is always the result of a perceived threat." "Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." For me, those two statements are connected. I struggle with jealousy in some of my relationships. My fear is loss of the relationship, or my "position" in the relationship. (Some of this is so embarrassing to admit, and hard to see in print!)
Dear Beth,
I will post my answers later, but I had to tell you about a memory that was sparked in Chapter 3. Do you remember when you wrote about that bird that kept hitting herself on your car mirrors? You had to put the towels over them! I remember you saying that you had thoughts about that same time, that God must hate you. Earlier that week, I had caught a couple minutes of you on a TV program. You were telling us how beautiful we were to God because we had the shekinah glory of God dwelling in us as believers…you said that is what He saw when He looked at us. I always meant to write and encourage you with that…and then there it was in Chapter 3!! God is so good to faithfully tell us something over and over until we really get it!! Father, thank you that you see us as beautiful in your sight. And because I can never hear one thing too much…this morning my boys were listening to Veggie Tales a Snoodles Tale and there it is again!! I recommend watching it with Jackson when you need a reminder.
Hugs,
Michelle
San Antonio, TX
Sylvia
Georgetown, TX
60s
single
1) two prominent false positive: weight and quiet personality. If I was thinner and wittier I……
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3)Eve and her wardrobe – I struggle with right styles and Saul's jealousy
Just a thought-I have been reading through the entries and noticing age ranges, very exciting to see our diverse ages and stages in life- I am very impressed with the courage and honesty of each lady.
Beth, what an amazing teacher and sister in Christ you are to us- I never participate in blogs with the exception of the LPM Blog-Amanda has blessed us greatly by her forethought and willingness to offer this blog as a source of ministry and an opportunity for us to share in a safe place.
Anyway, to the point- I am looking at ages- I am 60 and it appears there are very few of us 60 and over- it might be fun at our next Siesta gathering or in some other format to meet our Siestas in our age group- I pray my younger "Siestas" will not have to do so much "work" as they reach my age. Frankly, I did not know I had so much "work" to do with my Lord- generationally and personally- sorry I am off on a tangent- if you have any numbers relating to how we break out age wise, I think it would be interesting- forgive me if you have already shared that information and I have missed it-
Congratulations on your book and I am very grateful God reintroduced me to you and your ministry through some of my dear Houston friends over 10 years ago. Blessings to you and yours, Kathy, 60, Austin, Texas