Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Cha Cha 
My false positive – oh my! Taking a snapshot at my life thru these pages has made me really take a look at myself and how I got myself into an incredible 'pit'. Oh yeh, got it all together (insert sarcasm)- nice house (don't need), financial mess (no one sees that though), great job (Christian music radio no less and I'm immuned from insecurity – NOT!), man who loves me 'deeply'…yadayada…Wow this list drags on BUT I can see now why this is NO coincidence that I'm reading and promoting the book, the simulcast but more importantly living through it, getting 'repaired' along the way of the insecurities that took a chapter in my life and made it 'insane'! but…good news a comin…soul-deep security is on its way!
The challenge? To allow God to be my securities manager. My investment in this journey will earn great dividends in the long run of security. Finding that taking stock in the right security Manager will put me on the track where I can be in a healthier market for myself and others around me!
I identify with many but mostly Moses. I have always struggled with not feeling quite adequate for God to use me over the 'other' people I have met in my life – they have 'more spirit filled hearts' than i do – right? However God continues to show me that He is close and He IS using me probably saying 'hey you – would you just believe it, see it and thrive on me through it!' Once I completely and fully believe Him we can do great things together – repeat together.
Great stuff girls! Thanks!
leola
Indiana
40's
married
Tiffani
20ās
Married
Walla Walla, WA
1. My two prominent false positives are financial success and beauty. I am always so close I can taste it.
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses resonated with me the most. He was chosen by God to do great things and he was afraid of speaking in public. What a small thing to be afraid of when you look at the big picture.
Shawna
Washington
37
Single
1. Hmmmm to only pick just one… : ) Probably beauty and a close second would be talent — and fill in the blank on talent. Grew up the youngest child, only girl with three older brothers, all of whom are smart, funny and seemingly more talented in a variety of areas than I am.
2. I am listening to the audio book – so had to cheat and copy and paste the challenge from another post! The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. While I could relate to every single one in some way, I would say that Saul struck me most poignantly this time. Specifically because of what I shared above. What I realized so clearly is that Saul was chosen by God, and had attributes for leadership – but his insecurity blinded him. Rather than trusting God, his life swung betweens extremes of arrogance and anger, and crippling fear and shame. As I was contemplating my own life, I realized how often I look around at others (i.e. I have killed my thousands, but fill in the blank has killed their ten thousands) – it doesn't strike the murderous intentions in my heart as it did Saul, as my typical insecure response is to withdraw. While not as externally devastating as Saul's pursuit and hatred of David, equally devastating in the fact that when I go there, I do not live the life that God made me for, and I blatantly ignore the gifts, and purposes that God has put in front of me.
Soooo … I am looking out from the luggage – and thinking that I have hidden in the suitcases probably long enough… : )
Shawna
LoraLee,Bossier City, LA (only for a couple months Utah transplant), 40's, Married.
THANK YOU for the definition of insecure as being "not secure." This week-end everytime I felt vulernable I asked myself "Am I secure?" instead of the insecure question I normally ask. The answer was always "YES. I'm safe and secure. Jesus makes sure of it." The peace flowed from there and my focus is changing.
Liz
Lubbock, TX
40's
Married
1. false positive~I believe there have been different ones at different seasons. But "today" It is being articulate and well spoken. I am pretty good one on one but get me in a group and I hesitate to open my mouth for fear of sounding like a fool. I looked at all the "seemingly" secure women in my life and the thread was they are confident authoritive speakers.
2. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in his glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are! And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us! Psalm 90:17
3. Without even really realizing the connection I had highlighted. But Moses (fear of public speaking) "O Lord, please send someone else!"!
We all have a voice and something to say to someone~it's time to no longer fear and quit begging God to send someone else!
Sandi
Marion, NC
39
Married
1) Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
2)PFP1: I wish everybody liked me. I'm jealous of people who seem to have nothing wrong with them and whom everybody loves.
PFP 2: If I was good at my job, life would be great. Am I doing what my calling from God is?
PFP 3: I wish I was a better step mom. If I could get my step kids to think I was cool (especially the 11-year-old) everything would be great.
3) Bible character I relate to: Sarai and Hagar maybe because My husband's ex-wife gave him children and they have that bond between them but my husband and I do not have children and are not sure we will so we do not have that bond (although we are strongly bonded in all other ways and love each other madly).
Also Moses because I often feel like I am the wrong person to do several things. I was just asking my husband a couple weeks ago, "do you wish you married someone else who would be a better step mom to the girls?" To which he responded, "NO!! That's ridiculous!"
Charity
30's
Canton, Ga
1. I have two false positives. The first is the weight issue–If I would lose weight I would be happier.
The second is friendship, I have been in a group of friend for 7 or so years now and in that time my two main friends have changed for the worst and God has called me to let go of them, in the mean time I feel so lost with out a close girlfriend to talk with, hang out with ect… I keep telling myself if I just made a new "Godly" friend I would be happy, what a lie I have been feeding myself.
2.To let the heathy, utterly, whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I think I most feel like Rachel in the sense that I sometimes don't feel like God likes me as much as He likes other people. There was a day last week when I wanted to just be mad at God because surely he was able to make all these "things" go away, and if he like me more surely He would. I must not be likable was the conclusion I wanted to come to, and did for a few hours and then I did listen to the reasoning of the Holy Spirit and stopped wallowing in it, but I still believed it just to a smaller degree. I am so glad for this book, because I don't think I would have ever reconized this as insecurity.
Kim
Iowa
40's
Married
1. My most prominent false
positive(s): prestige and financial security. I want people to think highly of me and to think I'm good at things (when deep down I don't really think I'm good at anything). I also have always struggled with wishing I had more money b/c I am sure it would solve all my other problems…if I only had enough money to do this, or if only I had more money I could…
2. The challenge is:
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I was unable to choose between Moses and Saul—Like Moses, I feel unworthy, fearful and have no self-confidence. I can't count the number of times I have chosen not to do something b/c I feared I couldn't. (And how would it look if I failed when I am trying to get people to think highly of me?) UGH!
Like Saul, I fight feelings of jealousy and the terror of the loss of admiration. In my shame, I must also admit that, like Saul, I have on occasion become unstable in this insecurity…while I haven't caused or wished bodily harm to anyone, I haven't always been sorry when a person I am jealous of has something unpleasant happen (ie: someone I despised b/c of their prominent job title was demoted and I felt rather smug about it)—Wow, it's painful to see that written out here on this blog!
Sara, 32, married, Louisiana
I should have known that picking up this book would give satan the perfect opportunity to make me walk it out in faith. BAM, I get knocked in the gut with one of my fears and causes for insecurity, literally THE DAY I started reading it. I would love to give every gory detail of the struggles I am experiencing but for my hubby's privacy I won't. Just know it has shaken everything we have been working to build in our 8 years of marriage. It involves a VERY significant other in his life. So here I am, insecure, jealous, anxious, working through old feelings and emotions that I thought had been buried and over with. sigh. Thank you to Beth and the timing of opening this book! I can't read it fast enough.
I would have to say one of my main prominent false positives would be the beauty/weight thing. I've always been complimented on my appearance yet can't walk into a room without giving the up and down look to everyone in the room to "size up" what my "competition" is. CRAZY. I groan at myself as I even write that.
The bible character is a hard one…Saul and jealousy, ouch, really hit home.
Oh, the challenge, what a challenge…
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
Janae
Riverside,PA
40's
Married
1. Definitely my appearance…always has been..hoping it always won't be.
2."To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our euyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious relection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3. Paul, my favorite guy, who kept on keeping on. Favorite quote is "After untold wars with his own inner man, Paul watched as his wounded ego was wrestled to the ground by the Spirit of Christ and up tood a person he had no inkling he could be…." May I become that person, too, in the Spirit's strength.
Rhonda
Lima, OH
48
Married
My most prominent false positive: believing that a relationship will meet my neediness, 1)with my husband and 2) thru a female friendship. I know I drive my husband batty, but some days I know I just go WAY OVERBOARD!
I don't have sisters, so I've always thought that a close girlfriend would fill that needy void in my life…but I lost a friend due to her divorce (she told me I was partly to blame for not being a good enough friend) and I lost a 2nd friend for agreeing with her mom about a spiritual matter, and I recently lost my sis-in-law to her divorce from my brother…so now my family expects me to stay away from her.
Wow, so I'm to "let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship'.
The statement that most resonated with me was "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss." That is me!!!
Millie
Red Oak, NC
50's
Happily married
My most PFP: I have 2 that I battle. 1)Financial- Very shaky at present and yet this is the area that God has shown us the most miracles. What is wrong with me?
2)Beauty-I have always battled with a weight issue since childhood. God is helping me with this now as I surrender to Him more.
challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and realtionship. When we allow God's truth to eclispse very false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
I identify most with Moses. When God asks me to so something, I doubt myself and then doubt His call. Lord help me to be instantly obedient.
anonymous
Washington State
40's
married
False Possitive = WEIGHT
I am involved in leading women in ministry and feel like I'm wearing my sin for everyone to see. I believe it is an indicator of my relationship with the Father. That people are looking at me and thinking I am not as strong in the Lord as I appear to be or I would not be carrying an extra 60 lbs of weight on my body. I would love to shed the weight as a testimony to my relationship with the Lord.
CHALLENGE: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we ALLOW God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our ees spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. (Psalm 90:17)
BIBLICAL FIGURE: Moses. Because I don't feel I'm equipped to lead but God continues to show me and carry me through leadership positions all the time.
My Prominent False Positive:
You would think it would be a man/marriage or even children since Iām almost 30 and without either. But surprisingly, even to me, itās not. It would, as Beth says, āadd a layer of securityā to my life but it wasnāt my prominent insecurity. I crave āfinancial independenceā even more than a spouse. In my head, being able to provide for myself enough to have my own home equates having my own life. Instead, continuing to live under my parentsā roof makes me feel so many levels of insecurity. I link independence to growing up. And since I canāt be financially independent, I continue to live a childās life in an adultās body.
Challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship; to allow Godās truth to open my eyes to the treasure I have and am in His glorious reflection.
Bible Character:
As much as I hate to admit it (because she was a spoiled-rotten brat), I relate most to Rachel. I know God loves me to the core, but I must be doing something wrong for Him to not be giving me what I so desire.
Sabrina
20ās
Single
Tennessee
Kelly, 28
Springfield, MO
Married
I didn't get my book until this past Thursday, so I zipped through the first two chapters completely relating while coming to realize how much God has already worked in my life to overcome so many insecurities. Then, I started to feel it. That pressure the Holy Spirit puts on my insides when I know He's challenging me to go to the next level. I hadn't felt nervous about reading this book until that moment, but I knew I would be much more miserable if I refused to be tested with the insights God was revealing to me through the book. So, I went ahead and asked, "Okay, God. Which false positive do you want me to tackle next?"
The answer didn't come until the next morning when my husband and I started trying to work out how to pay for some things we needed to take care of. Not two minutes into the conversation, I realized that financial security was my current false positive. I've been down this road many times before, and as a stay-at-home mom of eight months, it's a road that I'm going to be on for a while. As the day wore on, however, God reminded me of His faithfulness to provide for us in more ways than I can comprehend, and I was able to see a glimmer of the prize I will receive when I start reacting with faith instead of doubt in this area of my life.
Erin 24- single
Tyler, Texas
My Prominent False Positive is my hair. I have been struggling with dramatic hair loss for the past 6 years, since I turned 18. Although I have tried many things, and seen several doctors, it seems only to be becoming worse. I am afraid that it will not stop. What then? Since I am single it puts an extra bit of insecurity in the mix. If it does happen because God wills it that way, will I be loved and considered desirable by a man? Although I know God is in control, every time I brush my hair, blowdry my hair, or find in the bed, on the floor, or in the shower I am reminded things are not changing. I often think, if this hair deal would stop, I'd be the happiest girl in the whole world.
Traci
Conway, AR
37 (almost 38 š )
Married and still almost sane with an 18 and 15 year old!
My most prominent false positive-or I should say positives (sorry! I couldn't pick just one!)
Beauty/thinness, financial security, and having an education. It was so hard to admit these, but a relief at the same time.
I identify most with Paul. At my most insecure times I can be so self obsessed, and centered. I loose my sight of God, because I am too focused on me.
And Beth, I too am guilty of trying to get my hubby to speak those words more times then I care to admit! The last time, I didn't get the response I thought I needed and was sitting at my makeup table, pouting (not pretty, but true) I heard a quiet still voice deep within my soul that reminded me my worth is in Christ not in words my precious hubby may or may not say-ouch! and Thank you Lord for the reminder!!
My challenge is to remember In Him is no darkness at all.
Janice
50
Married
Canastota, NY
1. Appearance – Ohhh,Thank you – Thank you…I totally confess to trying to get my husband to volunteer information.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in his glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3. Paul – I feel the need to affirm my credentials to people – To the point I have made a fool of myself.
Just a note: This book – This digging into my own insecurities is helping me so much. My Husband has even asked…."What's up with you"?
Friday, we went to lunch with family and friends and normally I would be uncomfortable sitting and chatting. But not that day – I felt light and a sense of freedom I can't explain. It was almost like I was feeling sorry for others as I listened and watched….their insecurities were screaming out at me and I kept thinking I wish I brought this book to share with everyone.
I am reading the book slowly because I like how the words bathe me in soothing comfort. I'm absorbing all the cleansing I can.
Thank you – Beth!
Random song suggestions following some "work out time" : )…….because ultimate security is found in Him alone! God's unconditional love for us is liberating!
Free to be Me – Francesca Battistelli [the chorus speaks to me……perfection is often my enemy!]
I'm not cool – Scott Krippayne [old song referring mostly to the insecurity of the teenage years, yet as seen in our responses, an issue that keeps on going into our adult years as well]
Priscilla
Chesapeake, Va.
60's
Single
1. A great man would make me secure. Even as I wrote that I thought, "And what makes you think you could keep him?"
2. The challenge is: To let the healthy, completely secure part of us overtake us until it drives every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse our false positive and see the treasure we have.
3. Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss; always afraid that something or someone is going to be taken from them…my past is a chain of losses.
My most prominent false positive is that if I would just lose 20 pounds, I would be happier and more secure. I have believed this for so long that even as I write this, it SEEMS true!
Here's the truth: Losing 20 pounds will not transform my life but allowing "the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of (me) increasingly overtake (my) earthen vessel until it drives every emotion, reaction and relationship" will…wherever my weight is on the scale.
I identify with Sarai and Hagar. I do and say the STUPIDEST things when I perceive a threat. When I am in this place of insecurity–it skews EVERYTHING. I misinterpret the words and actions of pretty much everyone around me because my imagination goes crazy in the midst of my insecurity and I get very weird.
I praise God that I am learning and changing!
Cherri, 52
married to an incredibly wonderful and patient man
California
Karen
North Carolina
30s
Married
1. My prominent false positive is beauty/youth – more specifically those who 'have it all together' – You know thin, dressed and accessorized, and throw in sweet on top of it.
2. challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship"
My fave part – "When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."
AWESOME!!!
3.I relate most to Moses – this quote hit me where I live- AND I SO NEEDED TO HEAR IT!
"Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities"
Amy
40
married
Kansas City, Missouri
1. If only I had it "all together", then I would be secure
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses: lacking self confidence when I am doing God's work. Self-doubt is HUGE.
Rachel
Alpharetta, GA
Maried 30s
False positive – Affection/Affirmation would make me secure in myself.
To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us ā CHRIST ā increasingly overtake our earthly vessel until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
Mosesā lack of faith in what God could do with him resounds with me. Instead of going Godās path for him, he convinced even God (he must have been very persuasive āŗ) that His plan was not going to work and he needed help.
I have missed so many adventures because of my insecurities.
Leslie
Nearly 30's
O-town, FL
Married <3
1.) This was really tough for me to admit. My biggest false positive is my husband's salvation. Every time I see or hear of couples who pray together or talk openly about their relationship with God, I get sad and long for it. I've come to accept that my longing for it might have actually hindered my husband from coming to Christ, because that's not something he should be pushed into. But God's working on me and I know He's working on him, too š
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Ironically, I'm getting my first "lesson" about insecurity (since starting this study) much the same way Moses did. God told me to do something last Friday night that I absolutely REFUSED to do originally, because I didn't think I was cut out for the job. The reaction I got was horrific and much worse than what I had anticipated, and left me shaking my head and staring up at the sky asking, "What the heck? Was this really necessary, Lord?" I've come to realize that this was a major lesson for me, and a much bigger issue that is going to be addressed by some of our leaders with Scripture. I had no clue why it had to be me, but apparently, it had to be me. Still awaiting the results, but I won't doubt God's abilities through me again. If He tells us, we need to ask how high!
24 year old Erin, your challenge just about split my heart in two. I prayed for you right then. You are a warrior, young lady. And a beautiful one at that. I care so much. Far more importantly, Jesus is so taken with you.
1) My prominent false positive is my weight and looks wrapped into one. It is what I judge myself and really everyone else by. It is a what makes me insecure because I am sure it is what everyone else is judging me by as well. (Judge not, lest ye be judged.)
2) Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow Godās truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection weāll also see the treasure we ARE. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3Iām Sarai: I feel insecure so Iāll take control.
Iām Hagar: I feel insecure so Iāll run and blame someone else.
Iām Leah: I feel insecure so I flaunt what Iāve got.
Iām Rachel: I feel insecure so Iām jealous of what my sisterās got.
Iām Moses: I feel insecure so I look for someone to do what I should be doing.
Iām Saul: I feel insecure so I promote the person by whom I am the most threatened and then hate her.
Iām the woman at the well: I feel secure because everything on my outside spells LOOSER.
I am Paul: I feel insecure and brag on myself just to justify myselfā¦especially to myself!
HOWEVER, when I am weak, thatās when Iām strong. Godās power is in me and for meā¦.may the God of Jacob truly make me secure! Psalm 20:1
I forgot to say that I am lisa, in my 50s and from cogan station, pa.
sorry.
I think my most prominent false positive would be if I lost 10 pounds. But, I had to giggle at myself this weekend (and thank God I could giggle, but only after I calmed down). My baby sister got married this weekend. I was at the hair salon bright and early that morning getting a cut, color and style for the big day. My hair is SO baby fine and my stylist picked that day of all days to try a new product on my hair….OIL! Oh heavens. Every woman knows you don't try something new on a big day like that. Well, my hair was flatter than a pancake, softer than a baby's butt and glued to my head. I had just under an hour before I had to pick up my sister and I lived 30 minutes from the salon, but I was determined that no self-respecting woman would have her pictures taken looking like that all day. So, I high-tailed it home to wash and restyle my hair. I was mortified and almost let it ruin the day. As I was racing home to wash my hair, all in a tizzy, I realized their must be some prominent false positive in how my hair looks too. Oh mercy, help me. I have a bad case of it. š
Chapter 3's challenge was to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes see the treasure I have, and that through His glorious reflection I might also see the treasure I am. Whew! That sure would be nice.
As far as who I most identify with, I am back and forth between Moses and Leah. I definitely felt like Leah growing up and a lot of times I still do. I was never the popular girl. I was hardly ever asked out on a date. I just felt unloveable and undesirable. I think part of that feeling carries over today too because so often I feel like I have to earn love, prove my value and worth. I usually do that through striving to please others in my life. And while I realize that I don't have to earn my salvation, because Jesus already paid that price, I still strive so hard to please God and it crushes me when I feel like I have done something that is displeasing to Him. But, I also relate to Moses, because no matter how many times I feel like God has prompted me in a direction or opened doors for me (mainly working in ministry) I still feel inadequate, incapable and inept. I think I quit almost weekly after inevitably feeling like a miserable failure at something I attempted that week.
Chrystie
Piedmont, SC
30's
Married
Lindsay
25
Married
Bangor, Maine
1. Appearance (around a model-gorgeous, overly confident woman) and owning a house (as opposed to renting one)
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Hagar and Sarai, because even though I'M the blessed one that's married to a wonderful, handsome man š there is always another woman out there that is more beautiful, more intelligent, more charming, etc. My husband is very loyal and respectful, but the thought of another woman potentially catching his eye could cause jealousy and/or insecurity.
Also Moses, as God has called me to various positions in ministry that I sometimes feel completely inadequate in. And like Moses, I have argued with Him in the past about something He's asked me to do.
1.) Weight…if I were 20 pounds lighter…
2.) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3.) Leah – not feeling loved. I know that I am, but I struggle with those feelings.
The funny thing about this is I bought this book because I was going with a group of ladies from church to the simulcast in April in Atlanta and I thought I would get more out of the simulcast if I read the book. Didn't really think of myself as *that* insecure. As I have been reading the book, I have realized that I am more insecure than I thought! It has really shed some light on issues that I have struggled with for quite some time. I had always blamed those issues on other people, but I am to blame.
Thank you, again for writing the book and encouraging us to really evaluate ourselves through discussions on this blog.
Kristin
Jacksonville, AL
30's
Married
Carrie
30's
Married
Traverse City, MI
1. The lack of consistent order in my life. Translation? If I donāt know whatās coming up nextā¦then I feel out of control and emotionally unsafe. If I were in control of everything and knew what was coming next (and better yet HOW to do whatās coming next)ā¦then I would be happy. Content. Secure. For me, I have had to learn to be ācomfortable with being uncomfortableā before being blessed with the consistency of order.
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. Moses. Because my humanness is always screaming out, āIām not capableā¦PLEASE use somebody else!!!ā
Bless you sweet Beth….God love ya!
Prayin…Carrie
1. Prominent False Positive – Being more outgoing and articulate would make me more secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Paul – He was a complex mound of clay just like the rest of us, belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzing psychological zigzag.
Texas, 60s, Married
OK. If I understand FP's correctly, it is our "if only_____
then I'd be secure." I'm really quite ashamed to say that I think mine is: thinking that if only my kids performed better academically, then I'd feel better about myself. Yuck! That just sounds awful. I realize this it tied to having really only felt affirmed from my parents when I performed well, especially academically. I don't wish to blame them, but to search out where this is coming from to allow the light of God's Word to shine in this dark place and bring healing. Consider that my paraphrase of the goal.
Dear Paul is the one I identified with most. Praise God He actually used one of those Pharisees. Not without some serious transformation. But He still used him. When Beth says to put our "thinking caps" on, I reply, "Sweetie, I strapped that sucker on with my morning coffee!" It's these tight little "miss smarty pants" that are getting me into trouble. Lord, have mercy!
Kathy B
Hendersonville, TN
40's
married
50s
Married
MS
1) PFP: Appearance, hands down. And the funny thing is I don't feel any more insecure about it now than I did when I was 35 and 55pounds lighter! No wonder I feel like my shoulders are getting stooped, carrying that boulder around so long!
2) To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship; there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3) The woman at the well. I've been happily married for several, several years now, but only after two failed marriages. If Chapter 5is about rejection, that'll probably cover why I made such bad choices early on and couldn't live with them. And like me, she was convinced that Jesus wouldn't give and shouldn't be giving her a second glance…yet she was able to bring her whole town to him! (Gotta meditate on that one for a while!)
I am ASTOUNDED at this study. Women come in all shapes, sizes, skin colors, ages…and all just a little enough different to not be like clones, but we are all basically just alike!
Betty
Richmond, VA
50's
Married
My own Prominent False Positive is "Credentials". I feel ashamed that I did not go to college full time and earn an undergraduate degree. (I had the opportunity, but I was too insecure, so I got married instead –big mistake!)
This "False Positive" comes even though I did earn an Associates Degee as I worked full time; I became licensed to sell/buy insurance and securities in the financial markets (I have since let them expire – no regrets there!) I operated a private fleet of trucks for a major corporation (dispatching drivers, obtaining freight, keeping "books", etc).
I feel better already having answered this question!
The Challenge:
"To let healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship." May it be so, Lord Jesus, may it be so.
I identified with Moses. "Oh, I can't, couldn't possibly, use someone else. You(God) may have done that then, but this is now.
I've never done that, let someone else more qualified do that…Who me?!"
No matter what God has enabled me to do in the past, I continue to question His ability to do so in the future with something new.
Shelly
30's
married
Texas
I have definetely been there on a man, degrees, stuff–but not so much that any more. Now what gets me is feeling accepted and fear of rejection. If I could take care of those, I'd be secure.
Challenge: "To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."
Leah–unloved and rejected. I'm not sure why because I've never been in that terrible of a situation before.
"The beauty of Paul wasn't his superhumanity but his unwillingness to let his weakensses, feelings, and fears override his faith." I want to be like this!
Jan
50's
married
Birmingham, AL
1.False Positive: financial "security – (Yes, I do know that it doesn't exist!)
2.Challenge: To let God increasingly overtake me until He drives my every emotion, reaction, & relationship.
When I allow His truth to eclipse every false positive & open my eyes to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am.
3. From section of Sarai & Hagar
p.48 THREAT – What are we afraid of?
Beth, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR THE FOLLOWING:
p.49 paragraph 1:
"…even when fears are founded and threats are real and we are about to be swept away in a tidal wave of well-earned insecurity, there is divine power, wisdom, and clarity of thought to be found. The person who responds with strength instead of hysteria at a time like that may be a stranger to you right now, but finding that person is precisely what we are doing here."
Molly, 24
Litchfield, CT
Married
I, too, struggle with a lot of the false positives that have already been mentioned — truthfully, ladies, reading through all of these comments is kind of discouraging! I am wondering how strong our God must be to even want to drag us out of this.
When I took Beth's advice to think of someone I thought was really secure and what earthly thing they possess that I don't, I realized that already, my mind was scrolling through my internal Rolodex — thinking of boys and girls, men and women, friends and strangers, throughout all the different seasons of my life: she was smart, she was good at sports, she was beautiful, she had good style, he was so relaxed, he had so many friends, he got such a good job, she got to travel, she was good at this, he was good at that, she had so much money, he had no money at all, how can she look like this?, how can he look like that? … It went on, and on, and on. I found that even people who I know — I know — have struggled with horrible, terrible things, I envied. If not for anything else, then for the attention they got throughout that time, or the praise they got for getting through it. How absurd that I would go as far as wishing upon myself suffering, thinking that if only … like that other person … then I'd be happy.
I realized through these chapters that all I've ever wished for in my life is to be someone else. That is the worst false positive of all.
Jennifer 30's
Married
Sherwood Park, AB. Canada
Before I can get to the questions (when I finish my homework), I thought I would mention the first time it really hit me how insecure I was. It is all about me after all. We were on holidays in Mexico with family, which added up to about 20. I am an early riser and would have breakfast around 7 a.m. while my kids slept. One of my family members rooms had a "Do Not Disturb" sign on it. Guess what? I thought she meant me! It hadn't occured to me that it was for anyone. I seriously took it personal that they didn't want me around. When I finally talked myself off the roof I realized just how many people in our resort had those signs out. It simply meant "I don't care who you are or what your reason is for being here, we want to sleep in, so please Do Not Disturb". I can laugh a little now, but man I was really hurt when I thought no-one wanted me.
Ashley
Huntsville, AL
28
Married
I had to go through a major thought process to really pinpoint a false positive that was dominant. I have plenty of the usual, body image, clean house, well behaved kids. But digging deeper I realized that my desire for my husband and I to be head over heels in love every second of every day is my pfp.
I do realize this is not reasonable! And now I'm glad to have the term pfp to help me grasp reality š
Krystle
20's
Married
Southern Oregon
1)Prominent False Postive:
"If I was skinny…." Without a doubt my main SCREAMINGLY loud false positive. And I hate it.
2) Our challenge:
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us incresingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drivers our every emotion, reaction and relationship" AMEN!
3)The Biblical figure that most resonated with me was Sarai. Not so much in the situation, but because her insecurity was based on THREAT. The part where it talks about "What are we afraid of" "Who are we afraid of" etc. I'm afraid of what people think when they look at me, what clothes look like on me, yadda yadda yadda. And it's just really ridiculous I know, but it's real and it's a problem.
HeatherāØ
W. Lafayette, IN
āØ32
āØMarried
1. False Positive: Appearance
2. Challenge: To let the unhealthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Biblical insecure figure: Moses, because my own mantra is often, "I don't wanna…" I don't wanna speak in front of a group. I don't wanna go to this or that event. I don't wanna put myself in a vulnerable position.
Michelle,
Tampa, Fl
30's and married
1.False positive- I have 2 that I think go hand in hand for me and that is beauty and an outgoing personality
2.Challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship
3.I could identify on some level with all of them; but mostly with Saul because of feeling threatened by the success of others in areas I'm good at.
Keysha, 38
Roanoke, VA (married)
1. False Positive: being skinny. I am a size 10-12. I was a size 4 two years ago before I had my second son and I just so desparately want to be that size again. Especially when facing the skinnies everyday at my eldest son's elementary school.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and comletely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Rachel and Leah. Both of them. I have dealth with infertility and I know the humiliation and desire felt when seeing others hold their precious children and you are unable to give a child to your husband. (God miraculously allowed me to conceive two beautiful boys. He was much greater than the doctors.) I have also endured my husband saying that he doesn't love me anymore. He had just come back from Iraq and it was horrible. Satan was vicious in his attack on me and my marriage. It is the most horrible feeling of insecurity when all that you know and love falls crumbling down. Boy does insecurity set up house in your soul then. Again, my God stepped in and we are now about to celebrate 13 years of marriage and happiness. Still, insecurity pokes in her ugly head more often than not.
Beth, I am learning so much from this book. Thank you so much for writing it. I was reading chapters three and four last week while sitting by my grandmother's bedside. She passed away peacefully right there while I held this book in my hands. She was a Godly woman and I know she is right there with Jesus. I thought, though how often I know she dealt with insecurity even though she appeared to have it all…wonderful husband, loving son and me, the granddaughter she could not have loved more. I wish she could have had this book.
Chapter 3: Being thin is my most prominent false positive. It's a monkey on my back, in large part, because I am an insulin-dependent diabetic (I pump!). I know that I need to stay healthy due to diabetes but I struggle with being obsessive about how I look and that is NOT healthy.
The challenge given at the end of this chapter is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive of my life and to set my eyes on His glorious reflection of me!
Chapter 4: I can relate to Moses because I am slow to obey and stubborn in my belief and usually have a list of excuses as to why I cannot . . .
Martha
Pelham, NC
50's
Married
Rebekah
Yuma, AZ
29 (this sunday!)
Married
Chapter 3 was so eye-opening. I had to really sit down and think about what my fp was, and concluded that I think I have two.
1, appearance (weight, attractiveness)
I find myself constantly thinking about it and being very self conscious about it, so I thought that was the obvious one. But I used to be thin! So then I tried to think of what my fp was back then. I think it was being liked. I always envied those with that instant likeability that everyone was drawn to.
the challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
Most relate to: Most of all Moses and SArah. To be thinking myself inadequate or too flawed to be useful, and to see threats to our security everywhere. Always imagining the worst outcome and expecting disappointment in every relationship and have to fight that feeling down lest my death grip on it ruins the relationship
1) My PFP would have to be a fit and youthful body. But close behind would be my husbandās affirmation. Iām not overweight, but as I enter my 40ās I feel like my body is morphing into something strange. Flabby thighs, Jello arms, a growing waistline, wrinkles, gray hairā¦ā¦ Yuck! And to make matters worse Iām finding comfort for these insecurities with food. Iām sabotaging any effort I make.
2) May I let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow Godās truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection Iāll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me. (Psalm 90:17)
3) I identify most with Eve. I feel like Iām running and hiding in shame. Hiding from people and hiding from God. Iām insecure with the changes that ARE happening and are going to happen in my life. Life is going to happen and I have to find a better way to cope. Hiding behind a bag of Oreos is not going to work out very well. This week Iām forcing myself to give these insecurities to God and finally BELIEVE all those promises He has given me. I heard the song Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns this week and though I have heard it hundreds of times before it really pierced my heart that it is me ātucking it all away, like everything's okay.ā Again, itās time for me to live out this faith I claim to have!
40ās, married
South Dakota
Karen
late 40's
married
sm. town, SK
1.My most prominent false positive is thinness. I have always wanted to be tall–not much I can do on that front; the weight thing–small/thin/tiny/etc. … for as long as I can remember.
2. The challenge: to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have in His glorious reflection thereby seeing the treasure we are.
3.Biblical figure: several? :s
Eve–trying to "cover up"
Rachel and Leah -thinking God doesn't like me as much as He likes someone else; wondering if I please Him?
Moses — "ya, but …"
Saul–fear that someone will be taken from me—whew, long journey of loss on this one BUT God has done a mighty work within me and continues to as He stretches me over and over. Great is His faithfulness!
Kristy
Shelby, NC
30s
Married
1. My prominent false positives are: a more creative, fulfilling career, to have a secure marriage where I'm not always causing some kind of problem, when I feel respected by others
2. The challenge is to allow God's Truth to overtake every false positive.
3. I identified most w/Moses. I tend to focus on what I feel I "can't" do or haven't been able to do. I tend to look at my failures and shortcomings and allow those to define who I think I am.