Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Anonymous 
1. My most prominent false positive: Beauty "thinness" would make me secure. This idea is the ONE thing that I have convinced myself that if I had "thinness"/beauty that it would make my life more productive, alive, and possibly perfect.
2. The Statement that resonated with me me the most, "Insecurity lives in a constant terror of loss. He (Saul) didn't quite get that God alone was in charge of his destiny and the only one who could jar that crown off his head.
Focusing on what the Lord has given me to work on and achieve and allow Him to be the only source or promotion, raises, and advancement.
Kim
Knoxville, Tenn.
30
Married
Late again but here it is! 🙂 I'm determined to participate each week!
1) Husband- if only I had a husband, I’d feel more secure about myself. I have way too many married friends to know this is not true but can't keep myself from thinking it every time one of them shares an insecurity or complains 🙂
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) Paul- God used him inspite of himself! My biggest fear is that I have or will mess everything up! That I have missed some opportunity or my insecurities have kept me from doing something so that is why things have not happened as I thought- it's all my fault. I can also understand the struggles of the women and even Moses- despite how God proves Himself over and over again, we still struggle with doubt that He’ll do what He says He’ll do this time. We know ourselves too well- can He really use ME?!?
Tanya
30's
Charleston, SC
Single
Stacy, 45, married
Mims,FL
1) My false positive is appearance. Since childhood, I struggled with this insecurity, and my weight was the center of this issue. So, I would over-compensate–trying to always have the perfect hair,nails, make-up, clothes, etc. It was exhausting and time-consuming–trying to get through the daily "beautification process." My ultimate reaction to the need for security in my appearance was the full tummy tuck and liposcution I had done a few years ago. With all the pain and healing that followed, not to mention the waste of thousands of dollars, I learned a valuable lesson. Being a size smaller with a flat stomach did not heal my inner soul. My insecurity remained. Two months ago, I gave up the weekly "mani-pedi" nail and hair salon obsessions. I no longer shop for designer clothing. I've attempted to stop the madness and do what's right, but, the insecurity remains strong within me–even worse–since making these changes.
2) The challenge is, "To let the healthy and secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3) Saul…He let his emotions get so out of control. That's me. I've not let my emotions be shown, but I have always been led by my emotions–which has caused multiple problems for me over the last several decades. I tend to "wear my heart on my sleeve," an observation my dad made when I was a child, and it hold true even to this day. I have given people such access to and power over my heart, and it has been crushed many times. I lack trust in relationships with others, as a result. Because I led with emotionally based, rather than rationally based, decisions, my emotions were "out of control" and caused many issues within my life which could've been avoided had I had a more healthy, secure inner soul.
Rosie
Tacoma, Wa
50
I am late because of insecurity. I needed a push from Beth. An ok to post a comment. So here is week 2.
1) My false positve is having a husband who prays with me, goes to church with me, who says I am beautiful all the time. This would make me secure.
2)My challenge to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, and reaction, and relationship.
And the beauty of the lord our God be upon us. psalm 90:17
3)The woman at the well resinates most with me, only three husband here,but even more so, the woman who the Pharisees bring to Jesus because she was caught in the act of adultery. She is me. Only they don't get into why she is an adulterer. Maybe she hasn't yet learned that she dosen't have to have sex with anyone who wants it. God knows! God Forgives her. He knows she needed someone to tell her,"It is your body you have control. NO ONE has the right to touch you, no one. Sin no more."
So did she grow up being molested and abused. Did she grow up with such insecurities of low self-esteem no self worth that it didn't matter what she did?
I have control over my own body I know what sin is and I know what forgivness means. What anyone thinks of me it doesn't matter, God knows me and he protects me, HE always has.
Angie, 29, married
West Olive, MI
My most prominent false positive: I filled a page in my journal listing them, and more keep coming to mind. . . I cling to being the *best* at doing things and being recognized for doing things well. It affects all areas of life, but this is huge for me at work. When things don't go well or others get recognized and I don't, I am devastated. Realizing this was a false positive has really opened my eyes to how life really is for me.
Challenge: Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, and see the treasure we are.
I loved all of the characters she highlighted in Ch 4, and I can relate to all of them on some level. Saul really stood out, since he both liked and despised David. "Saul didn't quite get that God alone was in charge of his destiny and the only one who could jar the crown off of his head." Yup, that's me. Paul's story was inspiring, because he had so much of a past, yet he was so effective for God.
I know I'm really late on this, but it's too good and will change my life too much to skip answering. My answer to #3 is a big revelation for me. I don't know how to pare it down to just a few words.
This week has been hard for me. I keep thinking if I put off answering this question in writing, that maybe my answer will change to a less horrible one. :blush: (I keep reading the chapter over again hoping that maybe one of the other characters' stories will resonate more loudly so I can use that answer instead.) But here goes nothin': I relate most to Sarah, Hagar, Leah and Rachel. All of them put together, because root of their struggles was jealousy. I had to define jealous to see if that's really what it is that I'm feeling. Here's what I found and how I mean jealous here: Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.
I struggle with jealousy.
Ick. It doesn't get any uglier than that. In comparison to these women, mine doesn't have anything to do with Robert loving another woman. I don't say that flippantly as I know many woman are hurting desperately for exactly that reason and my heart hurts for you. I struggle with the "in" crowd. Honestly, I don't think I realized this for what it was until I've had to look at it squarely in the face.
I have never been part of the "in" crowd. I was too much of a prude to be cool in school, too afraid of trouble to be the class clown, too average looking (with too many zits) to be any sort of beauty contest winner, too average to win any vocal contests. Sooooooooo many times in my life I have been in conversations with people who talk to me until someone more appealing (better looking, more interesting, more popular, more animated, funnier, you get the idea) comes along. And I mean this literally and figuratively.
Interestingly enough, I don't want the more appealing characteristic "they" have. I am not jealous of the looks, voice, personality, money, like-ability factor "they" have. As immature as it sounds, I am jealous of the attention they get because of it. I think it might be that I want to be that appealing, interesting, preferred, … with the package I've got. I want to be appealing enough just as I am. I know God chose the package He put together in me for many reasons, and I'm okay with how He made me. I think my struggle comes in when I face the reality that while I know God loves me, and quite frankly older people love me for who I am (I've always felt very safe spending time with people who are older than I), my peers prefer someone else. And that the package I have to offer is not worth the complete attention of someone when com. You just don't even know how scary it feels to write this down where you can read it. It's hard to not want to go crawl in a hole and cry as I write this, but that's cheating! I committed to do this thing.
This jealousy is the root of all sorts of insecurity in my heart. It manifests itself in fears of many things, the most prominent one I realize even as I'm typing this is a fear that Robert will choose someone else one day. That the person with whom I have shared the most and been most vulnerable, to whom I've committed my life on Earth and given my heart, will one day decide that another woman is more appealing and choose her – for five minutes or a lifetime.
East Tennessee
30s
Married
1. Being efficient/productive/getting a lot accomplished quickly is my prominent false positive
2. To let the complete and healthy part of us (Jesus Christ, our perfect Savior) over-ride and become greater than every unhealthy part of us. We already have it if Christ is our Savior. Now we need to learn and stand firm on the Truth so it can trump the lies we've believed for far too long.
3. Paul. I agree completely with Beth's statement on pg. 56, "one of the reasons he appeals to me so much is because he was enormously used of God in spite of himself." I over-estimate my own fleshly control, often fearing I will "ruin" God's plan with my mistakes, if I mess up something I'm "supposed to" do or say. It steals my joy because I put the burden on my shoulders to perform perfectly.
Lauren
Concord, NC
20's Married
Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
I identify most with Leah.
Debbie, 41, married in IL
Kathie
Kalamazoo, MI
30's
Married
Most prominent false positive: Financial Success or Beauty
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
Biblical figure:Moses – and the phrase that hit me most: "Nothing has even changed since You showed up. Same old, same old." I fail to believe that God could truly change me and then I feel guilty for doubting him…
1. My own prominent false positive – Being thin enough-how much I weigh. That from a recovering anorexic. It is a vicious cycle.
2. The disciples. I fear I might have done the same stinkin' thing. "Aren't I a part of the in-crowd? Surely I will have the most important seat in heaven. Look at me." Barf!!
Leah
Blairsville, GA
40's
Married
I'm sorry I'm so late in posting for last week. Breathing is all I am able to do during these first few weeks of my husband leaving us. I am so grateful for prayers from my siestas and know that there are many of you who have walked this path and the Lord has seen you through. His grace IS sufficient.
1.My prominent false positive…A healthy marriage.
2."To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." oh, AMEN.
3.Paul – "belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag." This has been me for most of my life, but as my "wounded ego has been wrestled to the ground by the Spirit of Christ," a person is beginning to stand up that I had no inkling I could be.
Julia
Whidbey Island, Wa
40's
separated
Meme
Virginia Beach, VA
50's
Single
I don't know if it is too late to submit my thoughts, but here goes.
My Prominent False Positive is Financial security and marriage. Being single I feel sometimes that these would go together. I would be more secure if it was more than just me.
The challenge is To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17)
Moses is the Biblical figure I identify with because I have never felt eloquent in my speaking either. I am always afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Susan
Long Island,NY
50's
Married
1)Most prominent false positive is financial sucess will make me secure and job security will make me secure
2)I identify most with Moses as moses was so insecure that he refused to believe god that god can use him. I feel the same way especially when in a leadorship position
1: I'm going to say that my biggest false positive is having a clean, nice looking home. I stay home. I know it doesn't have to all be done all the time, but I feel like it does.
2: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3: I think Eve's story resonates with me the most. I have a hard time dealing with temptation…no matter how small it is. I have a complete dialogue in my mind. Back and forth over whatever it may be. Eating another cookie, buying a coffee, ordering a book, etc. I realize that compared to Eve, the fact that I have trouble saying no to temptation doesn't have such a grand-scale effect, but still, it is my struggle. I also looked at the comments to see who else had picked Eve…because I felt a bit insecure about posting withougt knowing what other people had written. None that were near me. But I decided to continue anyway.
Jessica
Married
30's
Huntsville, AL
Casey
Ky
30's
Married
My false positive is probably the thought that if I can just have everything cleaned up. All the bills paid, all the errands ran and all the kids functions done…I cna rest and feel accomplised.
Our Challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Sarai and Hagar's story is always so profound for me! It is the epitome of us women not leaving a situation alone. We try to fix or just nudge it along.
I am so behind logging this even though I am reading this book thoroughly. I even read some to my husband the other night and have encouraged two friends to join in with us. So glad for this book.
Stephanie, 25
Married
Houston, TX
1. My most prominent false positive is lack of creativity. I'm in a creative industry and I often feel like if I could just have the MOST creative, outside-the-box idea, I'd feel good enough about myself. Isn't that stupid? As King Solomon says, there's nothing new under the sun! I should work with excellence and NOT consider my work, my creativity, my physical appearance, my relationships with others as my plumb line for worth, identity, or security!
2. In my own words, the challenge is to allow God's truth to be bigger than our false positives and to truly stare into His Truths (meditate!!) which results in seeing Him AND ourselves correctly- the correct reflection of the truth.
3.Confession: I REALLY like finding out that Spiritual Giants have really debilitating weaknesses- makes me feel holier. *GASP* Did I really just say that?!?!?! Thank goodness that God uses our weaknesses to showcase His strength! Ok, I think I resonate most with Sarai. She felt insecure that she couldn't produce what she and her husband had always wanted. And I'm sure she felt insecure that HELLO, God was not providing what He promised, and if He didn't, was He really a God worth following? I resonate with that. I fear that not only will I fail, but what if God doesn't come through like He promises? And I resonate with Sarai in that, after she'd waited around for God to come, she decided she couldn't wait longer and tried her own method for acquiring the results she wanted. I'm so guilty of that. WAIT! Wait for the Lord! He WILL come through!
Courtney
San Angelo, Tx
Late 20's
Married with a new baby
My prominent false positive–NOT JUST ONE..money/beauty and along with beauty..body image! Especially after just having had our precious angel in December, I'm a smidge consumed with the baby fat that's left over.
I found that I resonate most with Moses. I seem to find that I lack a certain amount of strength when in a big group of people and my lack of ability to speak God's Word to them. I almost feel that sense of judgment from their eyes upon me (from my past) and the sense that I can't possibly be genuine about my God. I pray heavily about it every night though.
1. as a single woman it is easy to look at married couples and think that life would be more secure with a husband, not just any husband, but a loving husband. So I will say that my false positive can sometimes be: "A great man would make me secure" even though I know that security doesn't come from a man.
2. I identify most with Moses. I feel like there is always someone that would be much more efficient, smarter, or just simply a better fit for the "job".
3. Our Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Becky
Clinton, MO
30's
Single
1. As a single woman it is easy to look at married couples and think that life would be more secure with a husband, not just any husband, but a loving husband. So I will say that my false positive can sometimes be: "A great man would make me secure" even though I know that security doesn't come from a man.
2. I identify most with Moses. I feel like there is always someone that would be much more efficient, smarter, or just simply a better fit for the "job".
3. Our Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Becky
Clinton, MO
30's
Single
Jen
30's
Married
Wisconsin
1. Prominent false positive — Body image is what I thought of first. I think it's so lame because it's something that I tell others not to dwell on and would be heart broken if my daughter grew up being so self-conscious of herself in the ways I am. But as I keep reading the book I know that deeper than body image are fears of rejection, not being liked by everyone (totally impossible anyway I know). I just see insecurity all overmyself now that I am quite disgusted!
2. I underlined this and wrote PRAY THIS in my book — "When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in his glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lor our God will be upon us." Oh Lord – that my eyes would be open to YOUR TRUTH about how you see me and replace every lie that steals my security in You!
3. As I went back and looked over the different Biblical figures I found it interesting that it was Saul that maybe I related most to because of the statement "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." And although I don't think mine is a power/authority issue like Saul's was – I do relate to how it seemed like maybe he wasn't needed anymore because David was greater (maybe I am reading into that). I want to be needed because that fuels my feeling of worthiness. Not healthy I realize (and am in process of working on even before reading this book).
Madison
Xenia, OH
24
Single
-I think the false positive(s) that I tend to have problems with could be a combination of being in a relationship/beauty/career. Even tonite I was having prayer with a friend, discussing my life and my struggles with insecurity. Although I have the HOPE and promise of a life of blessings, and fulfillment in the Lord, I feel as if those wonderful things will only come once I'm in a relationship, or perhaps have lost those unwanted pounds, or found that perfect job.
-I don't stutter like Moses. However, I relate to his fear of pretty much assuming that someone else would be WAY more qualified for whatever is put in front of him. Why in the world would someone like me be qualified to lead a group of teenagers? How can a young woman fresh out of school be given so much responsibility at work? Surely I'm not good enough for the job. Clearly this man will NOT be interested in me because I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, good enough for him to give me a 2nd glance….
At any minute someone is going to realize they made the wrong choice, and I'm going to get the boot.
-We must let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship
Allison A
53
Houston, Texas
Single
1. Prominent False Positive. If I just had a job I'd be happy.
That one day I will just magically land a job somewhere. I haven't had one since 1/09 and yet I feel I have not been as proactive as I could have been in securing work. In years past, work has come easily and now it is much more work to get work. Though I've gone on interviews and nothing. And a little work here and there. And, Instead of a fire being lit under me, and finding anything, I tend to think somewhere, some day I will be ok because work has always shown up.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we (I) are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3. I do resonate with Saul and that is not good. Why? cause Saul had a low self esteem of himself, and I so relate. When at times I am around those "more spiritual" or "more beautiful" I start feeling left out, and then I think I might say something that is not important and it might come across stupid. And then a jealous feeling might creep in if I feel I am displaced by another person. The struggle of comparing myself with these whom I think are better than me creeps in.
Chellie
40's
married
Hollister, CA
1. My most prominent false positive: if I could be a wife who didn't have to work outside the home I would be happy.
2. My challenge is to let the healthy, whole, SECURE part of me overtake my being so that it drives every emotion, reaction & relationship.
3. I can identify with Sarai who, in her efforts to please her husband (and give him a son), offered up something she couldn't possibly have REALLY wanted to give her husband (another woman) & then after she did it she was miserable.
I have many times given of my self, my time, my money, my talents, and, I dare say, my ego in order to try to maintain or obtain the favor of others (employers, friends, family, acquaintances). But once making the commitment I find myself MISERABLE in the execution of said deeds.
Dawn
Olmsted Falls, Ohio
late 30's
married
1. My false positive, for most of my life has been "A great man would make me secure." After my last post, that is not too surprising. He has changed me so much in our 18 years of marriage, so don't get me wrong, things are better than they use to be, by far. But I still seem struggle inside myself with pleasing him and expectations of him I have.
2. The challenge "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. I have always related to Sarah the most, she was trying to fulfill God's plan in her husband's life without God's help and learned the hard way, she was wrong. Sounds just like me (but no maid servant, lol!):)
Kristin
Kennesaw, GA
30's
Married
1. I would definitely have to choose weight. I've never been overweight, but it's always been a struggle ever since I was little. My family is very petite (I'm 4'10") and my mom and my dad are very health conscious…and it has always flowed into my way of how I think about or view myself. I'm probably at my heaviest now (and that being 105 lbs), yet healthiest…but my mind can't rest there, so it's a constant struggle.
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. Because of this that was mentioned in chapter three, "If a woman is married to a man who somehow feeds her sense of inadequacy, she has double the issues of her single friend." I'm going to go with Sarai and Hagi, not so much because of their actual circumstances, but because of the sentence that followed their description, "Nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants." I'm married to an incredible man, we're just in a horrible season. He's going to school full time, then working 30 hours a week on top of that. We barely see each other during the week and by the time I see him on the weekends I am one big ball of insecurity and it doesn't make for a pretty picture.
Kim
Malakoff, TX
30's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive probably has to do with my weight.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Sarai…probably because I can so relate with her struggles with infertility and her feelings of jealousy as she watched others have so many children. God has brought me a long way and I’ve experienced a lot of healing but I still have twinges of jealousy every time I see someone pregnant. Yes, He blessed me with two miraculous sons…one by birth & one through adoption, but I guess it’s that “barren womb” that is never satisfied (Proverbs 30:15-16).
Reading through these comments has been so encouraging to me. It is so refreshing to know that we are all in this together! Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one. lol
*Deep breath…* Okay, here goes…
1)I have two PFPs. Looks is definitely one of them. I'm at the weight I want to be, but I'd like to be a bit more toned. I also feel like if I had the right hair color or straighter/whiter teeth, I'd be happier. lol
The second PFP is prestige. I want to be the best in all I do and to stand out in a good way compared to those around me. How exhausting!
2) Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have and are in Him!
3)Oh my! I see myself in all of these figures to a degree, but if I'm gut wrenching honest with myself, it's got to be Paul. I definitely struggle with ego. I boast in somethings and turn around and beat myself up with the next. I could go on for days about the others as well, but will leave it at that.
Summer
Fuquay Varina, NC
26
Married
Pam
Arvada, CO
50s, Married
1.I think my prominent false positive is that is my husband was more of a spiritual leader I would be happier. Or if I were more submissive I would be more spiritual.
2. To let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our eathen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I think the biblical figure might be Saul. I have baggage and I blame someone else for it.
1. I'll answer this way: -When I was a little girl, all my friends were rich. Money was my PFP. Later in life I got some money but I was still insecure. -In high school, my personality was sort of boring. A great personality was my PFP. In my 20's, people started being drawn to me & pursued ME…but I was still insecure. -For over a decade, I managed a well known ministry. Position was my PFP. When I finally left, I still struggled w/ insecurity. Funny how the "security mask" fell off every time.
***MONEY-PERSONALITY-POSITION***
2. Challenge: Let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship. Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have and am in Him.
3. Ouch! I cringed when I read about Saul. "Insecurity over someone else's success." It's the one thing I want for myself, even more than a husband, my own success story. I so want to accomplish something great in my life.
Rockin' My Freedom
Orange County, CA
30's
Single
1. My false positive is thinking that if my husband could just be different, my life would be secure. I have to do everything around the house because he has bipolar disorder and PTSD. He is always angry and hates everyone. He hates my family and he hates God. I know he has had a rotten deal of it. I almost divorced him before reading these two chapters. Now I know that God wants me to look to Him to find my security and that my marriage is a gift from Him.
2. The challenge is to recognize the treasures and blessings that we have. The church I go to had a great altar call one day that I participated in. At the front of the church was a simple wooden cross and mirrors of all shapes and sizes laid out on the floor in front of the cross. Pastor Mike asked us to lean over and look at our reflection in one of the mirrors. It was a bit uncomfortable staring at the face that seemed to reflect all of the pain I had been feeling. The dark circles under my eyes were even less attractive at that angle and just reminded me of how tired, sad and sick my life was making me. Then Pastor Mike asked us to lean a bit more forward and while I could still see my face in the mirror, the cross that was behind the mirrors appeared in the mirror with me. Tears welled in my eyes as I was reminded that my image should always contain a reflection of the cross whether in public or in private.
3. Each one of the Biblical examples resonated with me, but Hagar was the most inspirational. So many times someone has confronted me with the fact that I have something they desire and are jealous. However, most of those people are also the same people who encouraged me to pursue my dreams.
Chaper 3: My prominent false positives are if I had skills/degree/knowledge… if my kids/grandkids lived closer… when I lose weight… I realize that though these would contribute to happiness they wouldn't provide wholeness which is really what my heart craves. I think what Psalm 90:17 means is WHEN we let, see, understand the favor of the Lord is upon us we will be confident in His establishing/equipping the work of our hands.
Chapter 4: I was suprised by what Beth wrote about Paul. I had never viewed Paul as insecure but rather very confident and bold. Interesting perspective. I think we often view others as very confident and often times they are dealing with insecurities we would never imagine. I found I could relate to Sarai, Rachel and Saul. I have had some relationships where I truly loved and respected the other person but was very jealous of them as well. They all had gifts, talents, and/or successes that I couldn't see in myself. With God's grace, I have recognized the root of this for me is comparing myself with others and am better at nipping it when it rears its ugly head in the relationships. "…the fiercest enemy (I have) to fight in the fulfillment of (my) destiny (is myself)." I took special note of this list of questions that Beth presented, What are we afraid of? Who are we afraid of? What are we afraid of losing? Why are we afraid of being displaced? Something to keep in mind.
Desiree
Mechanicsville, Virginia
40's
Married
Sarah Vint
Ames, IA
20's
Married
1. Well, most of them apply, but the perfect body would be my most prominent false positive. I find myself writing people off all of the time because I think they are "not beautiful" and then "therefore they must be a failure at all life."
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The bible characters I can most identify with are Leah and Rachel.. Oh yeah, big time!
Mary D
Columbia, SC
27
Married
PFP: If I'm busy and overly involved, I must be successful! I'm always jealous of women who "do it all" and "have it all together" and make myself crazy when I can't do it all, too.
The Challenge: To let the healthy, whole and secure part of me drive my emotions, reactions and relationships. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes see the treasure I have and the treasure I am!
Bible Figure: Saul. "They have credited David with tens of thousands but me with only thousands." Why can't I be happy with the "thousands" I get instead of being upset at the "tens of thousands" someone else gets credit for??
Amy
B'ham AL
30's married
I know I am SOOOOO late on this but I cracked myself up on this one.
First, my false positive(S) are being all skinny and totally put together AND having a perfectly organized and clean home.
NOW, for the funny part…part of the reason I'm late posting is b/c I lost my book for four days and found it under a pile of clean laundry in a chair in my bedroom. I laughed out loud at myself when I found it there. That is sooo my life. My three little girls keep me crazy…(6yr, 3yr, 10 mos)
Thanks so much for all you do!!
Trevor, WI
30's
Married
1. Prominent fals/positive-financial security
2. To let the healthy,uterly whole and completly secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Moses-thinking God can't use me, I'm not smart enough, words do not come out easily.
I have to say though that my insecurities had greatly reduced in the past year already! God is so good!
1. Most prominent false positive-to have a husband and kids.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I identify the most with Paul. One minute I think I am equipped for my calling and the next I've convinced myself that I couldn't even begin to know what to do.
Lisa
Bethany, OK
Single
40's
Leanne, 30's, married, Jacksonville, FL (by the way I'm sorry I'm late in posting)
(1) I don’t think the one I think on a daily basis was listed. But my prominent false positive would be if I was only married to a Christian man I’d have a better marriage and life.
(2)a. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us
(3) I totally feel like Sarai and possibly Rachel in regards to not being able to have children, or rather the struggle to have children. Yet so many others around me are having babies like it’s no big thing…. It’s very frustrating to sit and watch others around me experience the joy of pregnancy and being a mom. My emotions completely take over me, almost to a fault, and I have to reign then back in. I totally get the heartache of feeling like my womb is closed and not knowing if God will ever open it. And not understanding why my strong desire to be a mom and my heart for kids – just hasn't come to me yet… it's tough and it sucks if I may be so openly honest.
Debbie
53
Sterling Heights, Michigan
Married
1. My PFP: Just like one of the previous women wrote, "..depending on my age, my PFP changed…" At one time or another, I had them all. I was never happy or satisfied. I have even been the "girl" who has everything and the "girl" who everyone else thought was Lucky. Only recently, did my sister found out how really awefull my life was "behind closed doors." I remember her saying: All these years I was jealous of you. I didn't know it was that bad. I had no idea. Like Beth said in Chapt 3: you just never know. Thank GOD, I have some friends who helped me develop a relationship with GOD and now I am believing GOD.
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Hagar – I remember being jealous of the other woman, because I could not give my man what he thought he wanted. I even tried to become friends with her, but I couldn't take the constant reminder of being betrayed.
Moses – I have not been one to STEP out and do what I feel GOD is calling me to do. It hits home with me the point that "I might be missing the life GOD wants me to have because I won't step out in faith." OUCH!!
With GOD's held, I am stepping out daily without any hesitation!!!
Lindsay
Albuquerque, NM
30's
Single
1) My prominent false positive is having a husband. I am a single mom and it's so overwhelming at times that I can psych myself into believing that "if just this" would happen, life would be easier. God reminds me daily (which I need) that He is more than sufficient, He is plentiful to be everything to me. Only He can be.
2) The Challenge – "To let the healhthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3) The Biblical figure that resonates most with me is either Moses or Paul. Moses because I feel so ill-equipped to do what the Lord calls me to, even though He's repeatedly shown me His hand in my life's workings, and Paul because I feel like I need to prove my worth. I need to state why I'm good enough, even though deep down through those layers of insecurity I know that the Lord only wants me to rely on Him, not try to prove my worth to the world.
This is such a blessing. Thank you and much love and encouragement to all of the wonderful siestas on here.
Kali
Glenwood, Australia (Near Sydney)
20s
Single
1. Body Image. And another that I don't really know what to call it. Like if I was more "together" then I would be more…I don't know.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3.I think Moses most resonated with me. I think that my own insecurities have the potential to hold me back from my destiny if I don’t deal with them now. I’m reluctant to obey and leave the familiar – to think God wants to use me.
My number one false positive is that if I had more close friends then my life would be just perfect. Or another way to say that is that insecurity most often rears its ugly head when I am around groups of women who all seem to know each other so well and enjoy each others company so much. Sigh. And I want a group of girl friends like that too. Nothing wrong with wanting that, but thinking that "there must be something wrong with me" as to why I don't have such a group of friends and having that "take away" my security – I just need to stop that kind of thinking! I would have never realized this was SUCH a stronghold in my life. Even though memories of where the root of this issue for me all started bring tears to my eyes everytime, I never connected the dots. God reveals things to me when the time is right… I now have a safe place in this blog/book to begin the healing process. For this, I am so grateful.
Traverse City, Michigan
40's and married
1. My false positive – weight/body image and being seen as intelligent/wise! Wow! I am allowing God to show me which one is the top dog 🙂 Never had I seen it that way before!!
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship!!
3. These chapters made me identify with Sarai and Hagar in a way I never had before!! Never had I realized that the very women I admire are also the ones who make me feel the most threatened!! I guess deep down I noticed the tug of war I felt in being with them, but didn't acknowledge it or understand it! Now I do!!! What I love about being with them – uncanny insights, wisdom, intelligence, etc is also the thing I covet and feel threatened by! Wow!!
I think my prominent false positive is a type of popularity. I want to matter. And the people I am the most jealous of are the people who matter most to me. They have what I want – my love.
the challenge? No amount of darkness in ME can overcome the LIGHT OF THE WORLD. I can not even dim Him. He lives in me therefore I DO have something worthwhile to give. I matter because Christ matters.
I had trouble picking one of the biblical figures. Moses's fear of his past is something I identify with – so many times I've been told that I should never have a ministry because of my divorce. the other one is Paul. I have such a huge ego and I am crushingly insecure.
but I'm starting to see some light up ahead.
Beth I can't thank you enough for writing this book.
Deirdre
40
Married
Atlanta, GA
Carlene
ON, Canada
30's
Married
My prominment false positive tends to be the idea that as long as I look put together, my kids are well behaved, marriage looks good, my house is in order oh and most importantly all my other relationships are going perfectly, sigh…
The challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure parts of me increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. (Can I really have that?)
Biblical figure would be Paul. To have my role as stay at home mom and homescholling mom, affirmed, looms over me. Once I hear a negative comment about where I believe God has placed me my insides crumble with insecurity. It makes no sense why I do that.
Kristin
Lavaca, AR
30's
Married
1) PFP – others talents, $, smarts, but the biggest is probably others confidence. I want to be the one with confidence but not be prideful.
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) Moses when he said to "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."
That is exactly how I feel in soooo many situations. Why? I think b/c I never seem to be able to do things "right" or make everyone "happy" (the people pleaser in me i guess)
30s
single
(still catching up –)
1. My Prominent False Positive is definitely thinking that "a great man" would make me secure. I tend to long for marriage and somehow think that when or if I marry a wonderful guy, then he will always be there for me and I will be totally secure.
2. The challenge at the end of Chapter 3 is this: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Moses resonated the most with me, because I also tend to believe that, even though I'm a child of God, I still struggle with thoughts that I can't really do what He has called me to do. That maybe God should "call on somebody else."
Melinda – 34
South of Jackson, MS
Married
Sorry I am so late to commenting! I have been dealing w/ kidney stone issues, etc.
Since I was definitely not 'popular' growing up, my false positive is always women who seem to have it ALL together. Another one for me is women who seem to have these amazing, wonderful, supportive husbands. I am sad to say that I have told myself many times that if I just had a husband who was a lot closer to the Lord,that I would be secure.
The challenge at the end of Chapter Three is: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
Most of the Bible characters mentioned really opened my eyes. It helped me to think of several other people in the Bible who let their insecurities rule them. It helped me to see/understand how deep-rooted the problem of insecurity is and to realize that if I will only surrender to my Father, that He can still use me just as He did the people of the Bible.
I haven't had my book with me to be able to properly respond, but I realize we've hit week FOUR and I've yet to respond. So, without further adieu here is my partial response.
My false positive is thinking that someone is thin or shapely then she's secure. When we (the small group at church) did the Esther study, you shared some of your insecurities. After the video, several remarked they couldn't believe you were insecure because you are so pretty, successful, seem to have it all together, etc. I would say those pretty much hit it for me too.
Cathy
Birmingham, AL
41
married
Zonia, 40
Married in Arlington Tx
My most prominent false postive is Financial Security. Why I would think that money would solve everything is beyond me. I am getting so much better but I use to believe that if I had money, I would have friends and life wouldn't hurt so much. HA!! Still don't have a lot of money but I know that only God can give me everything I need.
I think I can identify with Leah. She spent all of her life in her sisters shadow. She never felt truly loved by anyone. Her own father felt he had to trick someone into marrying her. Her husband never loved her but put up with her. She was a good woman but never felt she was worth anything until she gave it all to GOD. I have a great husband, who has loved me uncondionally and has been there for me but I have had to deal with being molested and my mother choosing the molesters side over mine and then making me apologize to this person and then hug them!! I thank God for bring me out of that and into a new place.
Jennifer
Lakeland, FL
30's & married
Sorry I'm late to the Week 2 party…
Q1: At first, I had a hard time figuring out my PFP. But, then I realized that there is one person who can cut my heart to the quick faster than any other – my husband. And he doesn't even mean too!
You see, my primary love languages are touch and words of affirmation. If I go too long without either, it is as if I start to doubt who I am. It can quickly spiral me into a whole list of things that are wrong with me. I am fat, lazy, selfish, thoughtless, stubborn, impatient, unworthy, unlovable, and ultimately useless. This usually results in me deciding that he would be better off without me and then me trying to figure out how to let him off the hook of our marriage.
Seeing that written out makes me look like a crazy woman!!! I guess I am. 🙂
Q2: My challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Q3: I can most relate to Moses. i feel very incapable of raising and educating my daughters. so much so, that I've recently thought about going back to work so I can put them in daycare/preschool and have someone else to blame if they don't turn out okay. I relate to Paul a little too though, because I was successful at work and going back to teaching would stroke my ego a little bit.