Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Kris 
1. I think I have too many "Prominent False Positives" to list here.
2. Yes Ma'am Siesta Mama! My challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The Woman at the well will probably always resonate with me the most because I am the 21st century woman at the well carrying the huge red flag with capital letters spelling I-N-S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y. The only difference between she and I is I'm not living with number six. Needless to say that's why I am answering this post anonymously. I know down deep in my heart I wouldn't be rejected for posting my name but…too afraid. This woman is not talked about much in christian books or sunday school, etc..Sometimes she's even joked about because they don't know what to say about her. I heard her referred to as a "serial wife" in a women's class before. I sat there and thought "if they only knew one was sitting amongst them". I can't wait to meet her in heaven. I have a feeling we have a lot in common. I'm sure the depth of our conversation could take us through several "Grande Cafe Mochas with Raspberry! : )
40's
divorced (Never would have guessed huh! : )
Kim
Springfield, IL
30's headed to 40's
Married
1. "If I was the perfect weight" probably is the one that surfaces most often…even though I don't even realize I think that way
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3. All of them in some way or another…pride and jealousy can really get me if I am not seeking God daily…
Michelle, 30's, married, San Antonio, TX
1. I was surprised to discover that my prominent false positive is Popularity! I would have thought beauty, but I can see how that supports the idea of popularity in my mind. (darn those mean girls in school) Pg 39 "Most of us would wrestle with how much we don't deserve what we have, and that alone can make us feel insecure." That's totally what happened with friends from NY. I went to visit them and they were really excited to see me and I couldn't understand why… I totally spiraled into a pit of insecurity. "Why do they like me? What did I do to make them like me? Can I remember to do that again? Am I still the same person?" It was terrible. I remember feeling more comfortable with one friend because I didn't feel the need to impress her. That pit lasted 5 years!! Wow!
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationships…
I think it is so neat that my beauty is not dependant on me, but on Christ. That doesn't seem to help me with popularity. Ha! But, I guess where it really counts – Heaven and eternity- I fit and couldn't be more "right" because of Jesus.
3. Sarai-Pg49 "When faced with a persistant threat, bad feelings can quickly tun into bad behavior and somebody's going to get mistreated…we naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we largely feel threatedned by them.
Saul – pg54 "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss."
WHY? I'm living with my mother-in-law while my husband is deployed to Iraq. She will most likely be living with us from here on out. She is very strong-willed, although also very wounded. She has suffered great loss. I resent her influence in our marraige. We will be moving soon and she lets my husband and me know her preferences strongly. It makes me mad and scared that I will somehow lose control of my future based on her needs or desires. My husband tells me to please trust him. The funny part is…I'm not in control. God will move us where He wants. I sometimes treat her badly. When I say sorry…she says she must deserve it. Lord, please grant me the sorrow that leads to repentance and new life.
Dearest Elaine
Katy
50's
married,
I wanted you to know that I just prayed for you with all my heart. I pray that Jesus will show you that you have always been loved by Him. He never considered you a "replacement child". You are now and always have been the perfect blessing he intended you to be. He loves you so very much. When he looks at you he sees Elaine, his chosen one.
Your Sister,
Michelle
Tonya
40's
Married
Searcy, AR
1.) You nailed mine right off the bat……."After all, you're so thin!" Oh, the pain this topic has brought into my life! In a nutshell I married a man who thought this was one of the top priorities in a wife. Little did I know until 1 month into our marriage, at age 25, standing 5'3", weighing in at 120 pounds, that he thought (and I quote), "If you'd just lose 10 pounds, you'd be where you need to be to look your best." It's the first time he used the word "fat" to describe me in a sentence. (It wouldn't be the last.) This had already been one of Satan's favorite sore spots and this flawed man's flaws did this flawed woman in emotionally for years! The saga continued till I actually 'got fat' and then when he said I was, I didn't feel so bad because I could look in the mirror and nod my head and agree. So now, the thought of being trim again seems like a dream with fuzzy edges that I can't even get into focus! The unfolding of 20 years of marriage can't be done quickly, so I will tell you this. He is a different man today and has wept apologies for pain in this and multiple other areas he has caused me and our children, so there are still struggles, but we are being transformed. Praise God for His transforming power in all our lives! Still the lure of being thin……just seems like it could make-up for some of the pain and I could become more of what he always said he wanted, especially now that he is certainly more of what I wanted. Does that make 'sense' to anyone besides me?
2) "That, beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction,and realtionship."
3)Leah, it's Leah! From the baby making machine (yes, right down to the MALE baby making part even!), to the desire to feel LOVED!! Oh, I could have named my 5 boys right down her list and tagged the last one something that means: don't let this be my LAST child, because then WHO will love me unconditionally when HE'S a teenager?
FOR THE RECORD: (They are my BLESSING!! My blessing for being faithful to my LORD and my vows. I wouldn't trade a one of them for any other thing God could have offered me. He has loaned me 5 souls to shape and 5 Godly men to raise and I am so humbled that he thought me worthy. But then there's a whole nuther area of insecurity to get me started on! However I have a life verse for that one that I love and cling to…."my grace is sufficient." 2Cor. 12:9)
Kelly – Kansas
20s, single
1. My false positive would definitely be my appearance. I constantly am thinking that if only I weighed a certain amount or if I dressed a certain way or if my hair and makeup was a certain way that I would be secure and everyone would like me. I get really bothered if I think that someone might not like me or might not approve of me. I even get really bothered if I am wearing a new outfit or have colored my hair and no one says anything. I feel 'secure' if people notice and compliment me. So I guess I am just constantly seeking the approval of others and looking for security in that way.
2. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I think I would relate best to Sarai. She knew what God promised her but yet had a difficult time believing it, therefore taking matters into her own hands. This is how I tend to be unfortunately. I know God has promised me good things but I always question it and am not able to fully believe it sometimes, so I take things into my own hands, which of course never works out! I just need to fully trust God and His promises and follow Him!
1 – My most prominent false positive is body type. Only since my baby was born has it been weight itself too, but it has always been body type. So no matter how thin I got,I always felt "less than."
2. Our challenge is to let the secure part of us overtake us until that security drives our emotions, reactions, and relationships.
3. I most identifiy with Saul. Someone who on the surface is blessed with so much but is in constant fear of loss. I am both happy for others' success and insecure if that success approaches my own.
Kris in AL
30's and married
1) My own "prominent false positive" has changed over time. At this season in my life, it is "having a new job". I have been struggling with this for quite a long time. Its not about power or money or status. Its about finding joy and how I believe that will bring me peace and happiness in all other areas of my life.
2) Challenge – Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE. And the beauty of the Lord of God will be upon us.
3) The following statements you made about Saul resonated deeply with me: "his feelings were so conflicted….Saul had moments of emotional sobriety when he knew….even wept….he refused to call out to God for deliverance from his own unhealthy emotions." So many times I have cried out to God to "help me" but never anything more specific. I don't want to have unhealthy feelings of anger and bitterness towards others anymore. I want to love others as Christ loves me! Unconditionally…..
Julie
Idaho
40's
Married
Washington State
Married
50's
Was so excited about the book. I bought it for a friend as a birthday gift. In turn she had purchased one for me, and another one for a friend at coffee today. We laughed at how we knew each other so well, we prayed and committed to read it, and signed up for the simulcast.
tammy
kennesaw, ga
50's
married
Prominent False Positive: My Weight: Specifically, maintaining the insurance company, Presidents Physical Fitness Ideal Weight for my height.
I have spent a great deal of my life seeking that illusive perfect size, whatever that might be. When I was younger and after my husband left me for men, my self-image was so poor that, though I was hollow eyed and literally passing out from deprivation, I believed myself over weight. I subsisted on sunflower meats, coffee, diet coke and water. I ran a minimum of 3 miles daily, worked in an hour of aerobics and weight training, plus bike riding when ever time allowed. Photos of me at that time in my life are frightening. At a size 4, and an ideal weight for my height, I was as insecure as ever and always saw myself as a pig. Now that I am in my 50ās, very happily married to a man who adores this woman – I still battle weight, look around and wonderā¦.if I were xās pounds lighter??? Sad indeed!
The challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three:
āTo let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.ā
To allow Godās truths to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, in His glorious reflection and see the treasure we areā¦the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon usā
Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why: What was said about Moses and I fear never fulfilling my destiny because of my steamer trunk full of insecurities.
Did I put that I resonate the most with the story of Saul for my last post. If only for the hiding out part… I mean seriously.
I've made hiding an art form. Not quite like our Oprah friend, but just the same. I've zipped myself in a time or two.
God talked to me about that this weekend. He said, "I have uniquely gifted you for a purpose. Be Confident." And if that were not enough, He also spoke to me about this lie: "I'm not good enough." He said, "You are thoroughly furnished unto every good work"
SO LONG INSECURITY… God and I have our trowels and our picks and we are taking this wall down one ugly brick at a time. WOO HOO!
1-pfp-my weight and that if I had it under control my life would be in control. I use it as my baggage to hold so I don't deal w/other issues, I make excuses, and to protect myself from fake friends and possible abuse.
2-The challenge is to let healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. I want God's truth to open my eyes to my treasure and in His reflection see the treasure I am in Him b/c I am His child and He wants me to shine.
3-Rachel/Leah-God does not like me like He likes—. This distracts me from what God is saying to me and His plan for me.
I must stay focused on the goal of God's vision and not the approval of man/woman.
Jackie
40 soon
Little Rock, AR
Married
Kristi
Lewisville, TX
late 20s
Married
1) I had two prominent false positives: "Popularity would make me secure." "Beauty would make me secure." Such selfishness is rooted in those insecurities-but there they are.
2) Challenge: to let everything healthy, whole, and secure completely overtake the unhealthy, insecure, society-influenced part of me until through His glorious reflection I can see His treasure in me.
3) I think I identify most with Hagar. My thoughts are a little jumbled on this, so forgive me if it doesn't make sense. My identification with Hagar is similar to the idea of "It's Tough Being a Woman in Another Woman's Shadow." (I just finished Esther). The strange thing is I couldn't tell you which woman's shadow I feel that I am in, just women in general-I guess. Hagar's insecurity was rooted in never being appreciated. She was in some ways invisible and disposable and only appreciated when doing what other's asked of her. I often feel like I'm at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to women. Obviously this feeling is rooted in my two prominent false positives.
Wow! So much to think about and pray about. This journey is wonderfully challenging!
Ruth
Japan
20's
married
1. It's always been appearance for me, specifically my wt. It is such a vicious cyle because what I am most insecure about is what I turn to when I'm feeling insecure. Duh. It doesn't make sense, and I know it's so much deeper than just changing by eating healthier…my root is deep and I hate it.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel utnil it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I related most with Sarai, because sadly there have been many times in my marriage when I felt like I couldn't give my man what he wanted. I acknowledge that they are lies, but it's hard to change the feeling.
Tracy
Franklin, NC
60
Single
Thank YOU Jesus, that You want total healing for all! … not just some, not just a few, but ALL! You are faithful! You are TRUTH!
(Now, I will do the assignment – just could not help but SHOUT this morning!)
My most prominent false positive is a great guy would make me secure.
Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I identify most with Moses. I feel like there is someone that's a "better Christian" than I am that will do a better job, I will somehow mess up what I'm being asked to do, I'm inadequate/not good enough.
Lindsay
Mobile,Al
20
single
Danielle, Sulphur, LA 31 Married
My false positive is that I feel like I am not liked/loved enough – I need more to make me whole. My challenge – to allow myself to feel Gods love that he does live in me and he does love me no matter what…
Tricia
50's
Married
Palmdale, CA
My most prominent false positive would be having all succesful grown children. I think we are judged by how our children turn out and that can lead to tremendous insecurities.
"Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emothion, reation, and relationship."
The Biblical figure that most resonated with me (there are really 2) is the woman at the well because I have had 3 marriages, the first 2 to very poor choices. Because of this I often feel like Paul, that I am not as good as others who have had only one husband. I know God is forgiving, but I'm insecure about having to answer to him for that fact.
Tracy
Grannis,AR
30's
Married
My false positive is thinness/height. To let the healthy, utterly whole and completetly secure part of us increasing ly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. BEAUTIFUL! The eerie truth of the scripture describing Saul "hiding in the baggage" i have never seen that before, i feel as if that were a perfect description of me.
Jill, 40, married, Minneapolis,MN
Response to TamG-
I have been there, in marriage, for more than a few years and although I didn't think of Leah I really questioned whether or not this was what I deserved from God's point of view. I don't know your circumstance at all and in my case I was not in any harms way- mental or physical, just not feeling any connection at all- zip, nada, nil. I asked for prayer from friends and church people and talked about my disappointment with these people and tried with my husband also. Can I offer you hope, that the last few weeks I have seen a change in my husband. Maybe my attitude to find things to appreciate about him- even when I at first felt that a phony thing- helped but I know it was/is only because God was working. When I questioned my husband about why the change towards me he said he was having a lot of "God Talk". What was that? He was reading the Bible and praying but more than that for him it was engaging other men in their beliefs about God that started his change of heart to discover who he, as a husband, should be in God.
Anyhow- I just wanted to offer hope to you. If you can start to love who you are because of who God says you are somehow it changes your heart towards others too. You have His attention and desire to know you like none other can. I don't know if your husband will change but the change in you will help you make healthy decisions, love does that.
Kim
Grand Rapids, MI
30's Married
My prominent false positive – is physical appearance. (Weight, hair, clothing, etc.)
The challenge to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive in my life.
My insecurity biblical person that I relate to is Eve.
Lexington, Ky
40's
Prominent false positive is popularity would make me secure.
our challenge is to let the healthy utterly whole, and completely secure part of us to increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and realtionship. To let God's truth eclipse every false positive we have.
I probably relate most to Rachel…I sometimes can't seem to just be happy for women who have something I do not have that I want. Even though I have so much, them having that one thing I DON'T have makes me feel inferior to them, or that they are judging me. I wish that I would enjoy the gifts God has given all my sisters in Christ, and not be intimidated.
Kellie
Osceola, AR
Married,40s
1. I have struggled with my weight my whole life so my false positive is thinness, fitness with seemingly no struggle for it.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The statement about Paul so resonates with me; "the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself. I can't even count the many times I have been my own worst enemy and shot myself in the foot before the adventure even began.
Melanie
Dallas, TX
20's
Married
1. I think the false positive that I wrestle with the most is being in control.I never really thought of that as a insecurity, but the deeper I get into the book the more I realize that wanting to be in control of everything is causing so many more insecurities than just the possibility of losing control. If I lose control people might not like me anymore, my husband might see a different woman than he fell in love with, the house might not be cleaned the way I like, it goes on and on. I think my fear of rejection has caused me to become very controlling. I am adopted and never realized until recently that my heart is still healing from being given up as an infant. I wouldn't change anything, but now that I am a mother, to know that my birth mother gave me up, even if her reasoning was to give me a better home, I can't help but feel rejected. If I stay in control of MY life, rejection like that can't hurt me. I give these struggles to the Lord on a daily basis, ever since going through BM Esther's study last summer, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But to be in control over every aspect of my life and then letting go of those one by one and letting God is something I will ALWAYS be growing from.
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I relate to Saul the most. When I try to control SO much I inadvertently lose control of my emotions and cause instability. But once I give it all to the Lord all is well again…you would think I would have learned by now….just GO TO THE LORD FIRST, you silly woman! š
1. My prominent false positive tends to be my appearance. For the past five years (and counting), I've been pregnant, recovering, and/or adjusting to life with a new baby. Even though I eventually return to my previous look/size (or smaller!) in what's considered a "normal" amount of time, I tend to be overly obsessed with it.
2. He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all.
3. Paul…At times, when I'm feeling insecure and unsure of my place in the world, I look to my past accomplishments/credentials (instead of the One who really gives me significance) for worth. Sometimes, I'll even search (but not apply…God usually stops me at that point) for jobs in the area of my credentials forsaking the call he's given me to be a stay at home mom. God has really been working on this area, so I've experienced a lot of freedom…but it still revisits once in a while.
Heather
Amarillo, TX
30's
Married
I think my biggest false-positve is concerning my weight. Even though I may someday get down to 130, it still won't fix the insecurity inside. I have a lot of negative feelings about myself and the fixing has to come fromthe inside out.
I think I identify with Eve. I have always been very self-conscious about my body. When I was in school, I always hated P.E. because we had to undress to put on gym clothes. I didn't want anyone to see my body then, nor do I now. When I wear clothes, I never wear tight ones. I know that God designed our bodies, so I should be proud of it, but that insecurity just keeps poking its head out.
Debbie
Taylorsville NC
40's
Married
Lisa
Alpharetta, GA
40's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive is that attaining beauty, the "right" weight, my outward
appearance will bring me security.
2. The challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of [me] increasingly overtake [my] earthen vessel until it drives [my] every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I identify most with Sarai. I, too find myself creating solutions for God instead of waiting on Him to create the solution HE has in mind.
My prominent false positive would be, "If I could just be someone else completely, it would be so much better; a different inside, a different outside."
Allowing the secure part of us (I don't think I have that part. Can I order it from Amazon?) to completely overtake the insecure part, so that security not insecurity becomes the driving force in our life.
The thing that resonated with me was what yo said about Moses: "Nothing has changed since You showed up. Same old, same old." Here's the thing. I've known God my entire life, and still I am a quivering mess of insecurity and junk that I've allowed the world and Satan to pile on top of me. How sad is that?
Ranelle
30s
married
Ohio
My prominent false positive used to be appearance and acceptance, which I feel caused me to neglect my boys to a certain extent when raising them. Now that they're grown, they have some definite security problems that I account mainly to their upbringing (no, I'm not doing the guilt thing, it's just the cold hard truth). So, my prominent false positive now is their success. If they are able to overcome their difficulties then I would feel secure in 'all things'.
So, my challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship, I will allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I HAVE, so that there in His glorious reflection I'll see the treasure I AM, and the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me.
I must say too that I would relate to Sarai, not because of wanting to push my husband toward another woman, but thinking when we were young (very young) that I needed to change to be the things he wanted me to be, when all the time he had fallen in love with me for me. It took a long time to realize I needed to accept myself for who I was, not that he wasn't accepting me, Thankfully, he was patient while I was trying to figure out who I was.
Brigette (4of4 SiestaSisters@SMT)
45
married
Morehead, KY
Cathy
Rhinebeck,NY
40's
Married
1.My false positive is definately -if my kids were perfect.
2.Our challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I identify with Rachel and the comment that "thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else." Specifically, in the area of children. Nothing has made me more insecure over the last 16+ years than comparing my motherhood with others. From the questions of who will walk first, talk first, read first, hit the homerun, score the goal, all the way to my current question – who will have the best college application and get the most scholarships? The night before I read chapters 3 and 4 I found out that a boy in my son's (16 year old) class was going on a trip to Nicaragua this summer. I had always thought that a trip like this would happen for my son, but God hasn't presented the opportunity. I began to have an insecurity fit and drive my husband crazy trying to manufacture a trip for my son. I read these chapters and immediatley recognized my insecurity. God has been so gracious to me, and his plans have come through louder than my insecurities with regards to my kids. I have 3 great kids who love the LORD and I desperately want to stop suffering in the decisions and the comparisons regarding them. Thanks for taking me on this journey.
Oh my gosh, I'm such a mess! This book is difficult on many levels, but I am so thankful for it and for the opportunity for healing.
1. My prominent false positive is my appearance. Now in my late 30s and after 2 children, things are starting to change and sag. I feel that if I can just maintain what I have, my husband will love me, I will feel confident….etc…
2. Challenge: āTo let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.ā
3. Sarai and Saul are both characters I can relate to. Like Sarai, I feel the need to "help" God in so many things, instead of trusting his ways and his plan. Maybe deep down it's hard to believe that he actually has a plan for someone like me.
My fear that everything will be taken away from me (Saul) doesn't help with my tendency to try to control things. I find myself making contingency plans for nearly every area of my life. It's exhausting and ridiculous, really!
Thank you, Beth, for this book. I am so encouraged reading it. The comments of the other Siestas challenge me and point out other areas where I struggle, as well. It's good to know that I'm not the only one in this boat!
My most prominent false positive is is financial security. I must admit that God's been working me through this one, but it still creeps in. If you arrive at that place…the right house, the right income amount then our lives will be easier. I'm realizing that if we will be faithful with what God has given us then we will find our true security.
Our challenge in chapter 3 is…God is our strength. He isn't in competition with us, but for us. There is no darkness in Him!
I most identify with Moses. I am reluctant to obey. I had a great example of this this week. My hubby came home stating the pastor had ask several of leaders to ask their wives to mentor a young mother in our church. I immediately jumped to say "no way…I'm not qualified." I later that week ask my friend (who is the leader of our Revelation: Here Now, There Then study) to pray because now this Mom has been on my mind everyday since my hubby brought it up. My friend immediately gave me examples of my ability to mentor others. She told me be open to God's calling in my life. Our sermon on Sunday on the same thing. We must be willing to be available to God's calling. God is revealing that I step out of my insecurity in myself and step into His security and then He can help others through me.
Sallie
Tupelo, MS
40's
Married
Kate
Baker City, OR
20s
Single
1. My most prominent self-positive: A great man would make me secure
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out ever emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I think the statement about Paul was that he felt unworthy of his calling and inferior as a super-apostle, yet he also had an ego.
Often I do not feel worthy to b proclaimed a believer of Christ and to be called a child of God, and then other times I catch myself being prideful because "…at least I did not mess up as bad as…"
On page 57, it says "To Paul, the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of himself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the great work of God in him."
This is what I MUST do!
Kelli
Beirut, Lebanon
30's
married
This really relates more to week one and the discussion about being insecure about buying a book on insecurity. To be quite honest, I don't have the book in hand yet. My husband was at a missions conference this past week in Dallas and he is bringing the book back for me and a friend here in Lebanon. I called her today to let her know the book was coming and she reminded me that I should share this story on the blog-
So I had forgotten to tell Jason before he left that I wanted him to get me the book so I emailed him to ask for two copies. We happened to be online at the same time and he emails back, "Well, darn it, there goes the surprise little happy that I picked out for you. I"m sitting at Barnes and Noble and just got you a copy of that book." My first thought, was "Oh, my sweet husband knows me so well to know I would want Beth's newest book." but then I thought, "Wait a minute! What does it mean that he would pick out a book on insecurity for me as a "surprise little happy"?!?!?!
Praise God for husbands that love us in spite of our insecurities and who support and encourage us in talking through these issues with like minded women around the world!
Nashville, TN
Staring down 40
Married
1. False Positive(s) Well, I can sure id w/weight as so many have, but I have another that I've tried to write down here lots of times and just cannot explain it well. The basic concept is shamefully-doubting that God is accomplishing His purpose in me.
So clearly, I identify most w/Moses. Do I know and recognize God? Yes, most certainly. He is truly my LORD. Do I recognize that I have been called by Him? Yes-I can say I really do. But, do I think He can use me to do (fill-in-the-blank)??! No, He's SURELY got better options available!
Our challenge "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthern vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Come Lord Jesus and do Your Good Work in me. Praise His Name!
Julie
Plymouth, MN
50's
Married
The honesty of my fellow Siestas has touched my heart to the place where I can be vulnerable as well.
I could say I have experienced everyone of those PFPs at different stages in my life. Right now the one that is so obvious to me is: credentials/education.
I find myself in a new city, where no one knows me.
I am bringing no credentials…
I was a stay at home mom, now they are grown and gone, but that was my resume.
My children did not define who i was but it was how I spent my days. So now I am insecure when people ask me what I do.
I remember thinking of midlife that I would never feel this way because I have so many interests and friendships, but when old friends and family who know me are removed, how do I explain who I am?
Why do I think credentials/education have to define me?
Challenge: To let the healthy utterly whole and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessels until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I identify with Leah, hoping her credentials would bring favor and love.
40's (LATE!)
Married
Tucson AZ
My PFP I really desire to have is a husband that likes me and wants to spend time with me.
Yes, Iām married, but Iāve been lonely for many years. Iām tired of grieving what he canāt or doesnāt desire to give me. I want to be the wife God calls me to be without being the human that is hurt.
The challenge: (I just journaled this in prayer to God yesterday!)
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
The Biblical character I relate to is Leah. She wasn't loved. The inside of her was not seen by her husband.
1. Stronger faith, notoriety, money, beauty.
2. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in this glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Ps. 90:17)
3. In section dealing with Sarai and Hagar: "Nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants." (P. 47).
– a child
– a computer expert
Debbie
50s
Married
Cyndi
50's
Wilmington NC
Married
1. My 'Prominent False Positive' would be looks/appearance/weight
2. Challenge = I REPLACED THE WE/US with I/ME
Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon me.
3. I resonate most with Moses – when he said – I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant.
I am not a well educated woman. Quit highschool in the 11th grade but now God uses me to lead/teach women. SO UNWORTHY!
Kristi
Philadelphia, PA
40's
married
My most prominent false positive, though I tried hard to pick a different one, is being thin and pretty. Neither of which I am. I have many insecurities, but I'm sure that if only I was thin/pretty, then I'd be accepted and liked more for who I am. Cause, you know, a woman gets tired of hearing "Oh, but you have such a great personality!"
The challenge I saw is to let God's truth eclipse our insecurities… That's beautiful, really. Eclipse?! To completely cover and hide them? Block them out? Wow. And then to believe that I am a treasure? Double Wow.
I have to identify most with Moses. It's amazing how, even after God showed His power to Moses personally and commissioned him personally, Moses still says "I can't, God." But, truthfully, I do the exact same thing!! When I'm asked to do something, my FIRST response is "Oh, I can't do that!"
I also have to comment on Rachel. I can identify with her also. She longed for a son. I longed for a daughter. All my life, I looked forward to having a little girl. Pregnant the first time, everyone said I looked like I was carrying a girl. (Where does that myth come from anyway??) My baby shower brought in all-girl things, so very adorable. Then when my son was born, I cried out "But it's not supposed to be a boy!" I was so hurt. I totally had to block out the fact that he was a boy until I could fall in love with my "baby." (Aren't I awful??) Don't worry, I did fall in love with him! However, 2 more boys later, I was getting desperate. But with difficult pregnancies, my husband said no more. "What do you mean 'No More'? I haven't had my girl yet!!" I argued with him for 7 more years. After a sleepless night of pleading and begging God for a daughter, I finally gave it up when I heard Him say NO. What disappointment! Didn't God even like me?? I just couldn't understand WHY He wouldn't give me a little girl. Really, I still don't understand. And though I'm no longer thinking my security is wrapped up in having a daughter, I am now hoping for a granddaughter.
I am grateful NOW that, as my youngest son is almost 17, I don't have one younger than him. I'm worn out!
K
50's
married
1) My "Prominent False Positive" is a number on the scale, flat belly, and toned body. I have stuggled with weight for at least 90% of my life. Even though I have lost over 70 pounds and am currently in a size 8 I don't think I will ever feel like I am not overweight and am constantly comparing myself to others.
2) To let the the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthern vessles until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) The statement within the section disussing Saul which says "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them" is something I can really relate to. I find myself creating scenarios in my mind quite often of "what if this happens" and often create fear in a situation that has not or may not ever take place.
Hannah
25
Lansing, MI
Married
1) Prominent False Postive: Financial wealth would make me more secure.
2) Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) "Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." This comment about Saul resonates with me because my insecurity has a lot to do with what people think of me and the people I have in my corner, so to speak. I fear that I'll make decisions, say something, or act in a certain way that will drive others away or that will make them lose the esteem/admiration/etc. they have for me.
(1) PFP most likely is appearance, both physical and the appearance of having it all together! I tend to compare myself negatively to those who have all the makings of having it all together, i.e. excellent appearance, excellent home decorating or housekeeping skills, talent, confidence, etc. Boy, and watch out when one person seems to possess all of the above! I really took to heart your comments that making assumptions about who struggles with insecurity and who doesnāt based on what they appear to have going for them suggests how little we understand the nature of insecurity and what feeds it. We truly donāt know what insecurities other women who arenāt necessarily like us may also be facing. A prime example of this is that when I confessed some of these insecurities (jealousies) to one of my best friends (who I tend to be jealous of at times), she confessed some areas in my life that she is jealous of as well! Go figure! What makes this insecurity even more ridiculous is that my husband of 37 years is also my best friend and very affirming.
(2) Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
(3) The comment that resonated with me, or maybe I should say jumped out at me when you were talking about Sarai and Hagar, is that ājealousy is always the result of a perceived threat.ā Over the past 6 months or so, I have identified jealousy, among other things, as a definite sin/stronghold in my life. Iāve confessed to God and am asking His help to overcome. Iāve honestly never looked at it jealousy based on the stated comment. Iām asking myself now exactly what is the threat? ā maybe threat of what I perceive other people may think of me because I donāt think I measure up to the people Iām jealous of? (I donāt think that was a clear sentence at all, but hopefully you understand what Iām getting at). Threat of not being liked as much because I donāt measure up? (I definitely fall into the category of āpeople pleaserā ā wanting to be liked by everyone, which I know is impossible!) I donāt know, but I know I need to work this one out. I truly desire to please God above all!
Another challenge for me in this discussion group is to just enter my first thoughts instead of typing them in a word document and cutting, pasting, re-writing, etc. Another insecurity????
Dianne
Hartselle, AL
50ās
Married
Rachel
Blaine, wa
30s
married
1. Beauty is my false positive. Or at least the biggest one
2. Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes open to the treasure we have in His glorious reflection, to see the treasure we are.
3. Probably Saul due to jealousy
Terri
30's
Married
Senoia, GA
1. My prominent false positive is money or financial security. I always think once we get this paid or when we make enough for that all will be good. Very rarely do I sit back and realize that I am already secure, I am a child of God!
2. The challenge is: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship".
3. What sticks with me most is from page 49, "No emotion is uglier than jealousy, … jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat. And a threat always places a 911 call to insecurity". We have never had a third party in our marriage like Sarah, but anytime anything or anyone attracts my husbands attention away from me I am jealous. I begin having thoughts of not being good enough and does he really love me. I become very needy and just plain out insecure.
Susan B.
Chapin, SC
50's
Married
I have been wondering what my false positive is…financial? Well, yes, but I seldom get the chance to feel comfortable there, so maybe not. Friendships, maybe…Then it hit me this morning – it's information. I feel confident when I'm "in the know," especially with my job. I believe God has allowed me to feel very insecure in this are in the last several years in order to help me see that He's all I need to know.
As for who I identify with – it's difficult to choose one. Like Moses, I say, "Who? Me?" Like the apostles, I want to be the favorite, but I can also relate to Paul as I feel that my past is not worthy of God's work.
Missy
30's, married
Glasgow, KY
False positive? Money
I am going to allow God's Truth to overtake this earthen vessel in every facet so that I see who He says I am–His treasure!
Eve–I need the fig leaves!! –Just Kidding! I most related to Leah. I am working with God in the area of feeling invisible. I know He always sees me and I am allowing that truth to overtake this "earthen vessel."
Anita
50's
Married in PA
Talk about insecurity. Just putting these words on this blog makes me feel like I'm starring in of those awful dreams we've all had…you know…the one where you're standing on main street in your underwear. Well, perhaps not that bad so here goes. The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole,and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When I read those words something rose up in me. They spoke directly to something I had written in in my journal almost a week before. I wrote: I just realized that part of the reason I am so intent on getting to know God better and deeper is that I keep hoping (unconsciously until now I think) that something in me will be healed. Hoping that something will change, namely me. When I read Beth's words they gave me hope.
P.S. I posted this under Anonymous because my Google Acct. isn't working properly. I'm checking into it. See, I didn't want you all to think I don't know how to do this so I felt the need to explain myself…naw..I don't need help. Not much!
Kelly
Tomball, Tx (just moved here from Colorado)
30's. (40 this year, tho!)
Married (20 yrs this year!)
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Week 2:
1. Prominent False Positive – they *all* resonated with me! Dang! The biggest one…. weight. I totally understood Beth's friend's comment…. someone who is tiny must have it all together! I mean – shopping must be so much more enjoyable when you are tiny! Heck – years of shopping in the plus department of Kohl's while longingly looking at the petite department will do that to you! I see it now… a false positive. I'm learning, here! š
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. I guess Paul was the example that resonated with me. I swing back and forth from utterly secure and confident (over confident more than I care to admit) to extreme humility and insecurity at other times. I often compare myself to a "Peter" in a woman's body. Not the saintly wise Peter. The Peter that jumps up and does things without thinking and just blurts out whatever is on his mind. Then later holds his head in his hands wondering what has done or said!"
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PS – Thanks for cancelling tonight!
Mary Lisa
Glenwood, MN
40s Married
1. My false positive is my hair. If I had lovely thick Repunzel hair my life you be different. I could come up with a cure for the common cold, world hunger and tights that snag if only I had a pony tail.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. *Saul* knows he's behaving badly towards someone he cares for, but he just lets that anger and jealousy take over to the point where he's will to destroy the things most precious to him.