Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
BreadBags to PieTins 
Hannah
Webb City,MO
20's
Single
1)I would say my false positive is to have a fun personality. I have always been somewhat shy and quiet, so I feel like acceptance comes from my ability to converse and share information.
2)I LOVE this…to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I HAVE, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I AM. And the beauty of the Lord will be upon me.
3)I relate most with Moses and his inability to move forward with God and do His will because of his lack of eloquence. "I am slow of speech and tongue."
Ugh… I have had a rough day, so coming here to state my prominent false positive feels like a discipline, but in a good way. As in.. I get it out there, I share with you all, I might cry a bit, and then God can do some healing work… so here goes.
My prominent false positive is common to many women, but feels so so personal to me.
" I am only significant if I am thin."
I hate writing that down. It breaks my heart in pieces. I am really overweight (allowing food to take the place of God as a comfort in my life.. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to that!!) I am on the path of healing, but don't know where my body size will end up. It is a constant battle to stay encouraged in the midst of God's healing.
I grew up with a mother who would introduce me by what diet I was on, who told the sales lady how much weight she predicted I would lose while shopping for my wedding dress, who doesn't think she is significant unless she weighs a certain amount.
Praise Him, God has brought me so far, but as I'm writing these words, and the tears are falling, I'm realizing I am still walking wounded in this area. Please please pray for me.. I have a precious 8 year old daughter and I couldn't bear the thought of "teaching" her that same crud.
I love this community and it is a testament to how judgement free it is that I can share this. I'm need to go spend some time with Jesus.
Sally
Rome,GA
41
Married
1) prominent false positive- my looks- i dont feel like i am pretty
2) Challenge- let the healthy utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, relationship and reaction.
3) Biblical figure- sarai- not being able to have children of my own due to health issues- i am a step mom but some people think that i am not really a mom- and i am less worthy because i never had any children
Allison
Eau Claire, WI
30's (late)
married
#1 prominent false positive = beauty
#2 The challenge is to see not only the treasure that I have in Christ, but also the treasure that I AM in Christ!
#3 Which Biblical figure resonates most with me?
Saul- I fear the loss of power and admiration…and
the disciples- unrelenting self-promotion always carries the lingering scent of insecurity
30 something
married w/children
VA
1. I'm like alot of others…picking one false positive is like asking a recovering alcoholic to have one drink, lol. But I'm going to do it. I don't know if this is my most prominent one but it's one that comes up alot and one I'm willing to share 🙂 My financial stability. My husband works with a mission and we must raise our support and well it's just very tough. Everyone around us seems to have more and do more. Their kids seem to have more experiences, and I think it just adds tension to our home. (I KNOW this is not my prominent false positive..but I can't share it…I typed it then erased it) So there's my false, false positive, lol! I'm a sad case, lol!
2.I'm so indecisive, these assignments are killing me! I guess I'm most like Paul. Insecure in my ability and jealous of others successes/abilities.
3.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. (I couldn't leave any of it out)
30's
Atlanta, Ga
Married
1. I used to be super skinny. Not anymore. I feel like if I lost 40 pounds, I'd be much more secure in myself. That's the easiest false positive to type. I have about 10 other ones.
2. To let God's view of me be the Only one image I see in the mirror. To let HIS Truth be the power in my life, and stop handing certain people the kind of power that only God should wield over me.
3. Rachel and Leah – but not for the reasons they got the award. For this reason: So much negativity has touched my life… parents who could never tell me they loved me, repeatedly unfaithful husband, then being a divorced single mom, remarriage to a wonderful man but who doesn't communicate (ie I'm lonely), jealousy over friends who don't live paycheck to paycheck and their childrens' fathers aren't absent deadbeat dads… I could go on and on. This statement alone made me relate most to Rachel and Leah: "Nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure"
I want so badly to stop being hurt by circumstances, and focus only on the joy in my heart. I have so much joy, I really do, but it gets overshadowed so easily it seems. I want my head knowledge about God to be all over, up inside, and spilling out of my heart.
I apologize for this being long and repeating parts of the book. I am amazed at how it spoke to my heart.
1. My prominent false positive is in all the things I think I need to be happy. I just knew a perfect husband would make everything better. I just knew if I was pretty enough everything would be better. I knew if I had more money, everything would be better. Guess what, I have a wonderful husband, and I am still insecure. I am a 34-year old, who people say I look 24 and I am still insecure. I have enough money to provide all my needs, not necessarily my wants, but you know even if I had more money, my bet is I would still be insecure. Why can’t I just be happy to be God’s child. That’s all I should ever want. He promises to provide all our needs and will never leave us. God is the only security in this world, why is that so hard to accept and apply in our everyday life? Is happiness and security related? I guess my prominent false positive is that if only I was happy, I would be secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Okay, pages 48 – 49. This says exactly how I have felt for so long I can’t even remember when it started. This is me down to the last letter. Beth how did you know?
“We naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we fell largely threatened by them.”
“Threat. That single word captures one of the most powerful drivers of insecurity. More often than not, if we’re willing to make the connection, we can trace feelings of insecurity to a perceived threat, especially when it comes in a sudden rush.”
“What are we afraid of? Who are we afraid of? What are we afraid of losing? Why are we afraid of being displace?”
These words from the pages of this book made me cry and now I have tear stains on the pages. Thank you Beth for helping me to realize my area of insecurity. Now what do I do?
“My suggestion is this: even when fears are founded and threats are real and we are about to be swept away in a tidal wave of well-earned insecurity, there is divine power, wisdom, and clarity of thought to be found. The person who responds with strength instead of hysteria at a time like that may be a stranger to you right now, but finding that person is precisely what we are doing here.”
“If you can’t find resolution when faced with a persistent threat, bad feelings can quickly turn into bad behavior, and somebody’s going to get mistreated.”
“Jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat. And a threat always places a 911 call to insecurity.”
Beth, this is exactly how I have been for years. For me this relates to my role as a step-mom. This is my first marriage, but the second marriage for my husband. In my embarrassment, I admit jealousy of a 4 year-old, that has continued and he is now 16 years-old. How utterly sad this appears as I type it on this page. I want this to change obviously the reason I am reading this book, but HOW? I guess I have wonder, how does this happen to a preacher's daughter who has been in church her whole life? Thank you God for directing me in this current path that I am on. Please keep me focused to reach the goal You, Lord, have for me.
Robin, 34, VA, Married
kerri
kansas city, mo
28
married
okay! i'm catching up! this is my first day of commenting on this blog. i'm new here! i'm trying to catch up all in one day.
the most prominent false positive. (and there are several) and can i just say that i used to pride myself in being confident? ouch. then i got married, had a baby, stopped working, and gained some new jiggly bits on my body…. now i'm facing insecurity. some things are threatened that never were before. i secretly thank God for drawing the dirt out. i desperately want to be made whole.
prominent false positives in ranking order.
1. prestige would make me secure
2. recapturing youthfulness would make me secure (i kind of long for the days i was able to have a free spirit and have so much solitude and time in the word and studying)
3. beauty will make me secure.
(its liberating to get this out!)
i identify with eve. covering up myself because of shame. i'm ashamed somewhere deep inside. i also have a little of saul in me. feeling like i'm not living out my destiny when i see other people doing "significant things". i don't wish them pain, but i just feel like i'm comparing myself more. maybe with unconscious thoughts like, "what's my problem? why am i failing to do something significant in my life like her? what's wrong with me??"
here's a thought. how do i press in living out my destiny with urgency without comparing myself or being hard on myself for it looking different than someone else?
Crystal
Anderson, SC
30's
Married
1. I have so many false positives, but the most prominent would have to be my weight. If only I were thin….then life would be great and I would be secure.
2. To let God take over and find my only security is in Christ alone, not this world and its standards.
3.I can relate to Leah, because I too have thought if I had kids or lost weight then my husband would love me. I also relate to Saul in feeling threatened and jealous of others. being saved later in life, i relate to paul in thinking I am not as good as other Christians.
Tammy
Clayton, NC
40s
A little behind but catching up. My prominent false positive is financial security. I sometimes think if I had a different house or a different life that it would make me a different person. I am who God made me your challenge speaks directly to me ….so I proudly and tearfully post it:
To let the healthy utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17) – This speaks to my soul cause I can't just name one false positive I can name many but to God be the Glory I will overcome.
2. The person that most resonates with me is Moses. – I feel over and over again that God is preparing me for Something. Don't know what it is or when it will occur but I know in the past I have given up opportunity to someone more qualified. So in this way I relate to Moses. How much more would Moses' blessings have been if he were willing, less insecure and obedient. I know I am human and he was too and we all make mistakes but please Dear God help me to listen to you and not my inner insecurities when asked to do things for you.
Thanks Beth for a great book and for your williningness to be a vessel for Him!!! Your words have touch my life more than once sometimes quite profoundly. Thank you for pointing us heavenward by directin us to HIS word
Jennifer
MPLS,MN
30's
Married
1) beauty- I have always felt that I was funny looking and awkward in my own sin
2) I have 2, one Sarah in that I won't be all that my husband wants/needs and for the same reason a little of Paul
the challenge: to allow God's truth of overcome our false positives
Michele M
Liverpool, NY
Single
40
1. I think I have a bunch of them, but one main one lately is about education. I’m almost done with a MATS degree, and wonder if I should go for a ThM or PhD. I’m pretty sure part of that motivation is that maybe people will respect me or think I’m better at God stuff if I have a PhD. I already have a bunch of letters after my name that apparently aren't doing much good.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The statement that most resonated with me was on p. 54 – “Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss.” That is me, living in constant terror underneath a defensive exterior.
Want to hear something FUNNY? – while reading chapter 4 – every time you referred to the “Most Insecure Man in the Word Award,” something inside of me perked up like – “Ooo, an award! Maybe I could win… oh… no, maybe that wouldn’t be so good.”
1. My own most prominent false positive is I have two:
-being thin
-I want my husband to truly love me and when he does I want to truly believe him. (I hope that makes sense.–You can see my insecurity just oozing through!)
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Leah in naming her son Levi which means "now at last my husband will become attached to me." Siesta Mamma, you stated Leah had given up on love and was settling for an attachment. I fear this might be where I am with my husband. He says he loves me but his actions of recent past don't prove it.
Shellye
Queen City, TX
41
married
1. My prominent false positive is money. I always think enough money could take away my worries. I worry way too much about our finances when I should be trusting the Lord.
2. Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The Biblical figure I resonate with most is Rachel. There's "nothing like thinking God doesn't like me as well as He likes someone else." I compare my self with others who appear to be more "blessed" and think God doesn't love me as much as He loves them.
I know I am only a "partial" wreck like you said Beth but I want to be healthy emotionally and spiritually. Thank you for loving us enough to write this book and have this study.
Just got your book, hope it's not too late.
False positive – my looks
Challenge – to let the Light shine on all my insecurities. Love that, "Jesus has no dark side", so simple yet profound.
Identify with Leah who had "weak eyes".
Sheila
Ashburnham, MA
40's
Single
"Prominent False Positive(s)"
At one time it was the power/prestige of being successful in a career – until I realized (finally) that being a good mom was far more important than that. Looking back—those goals seem so shallow and I’m embarrassed that I ever thought of putting a career ahead of my kids. Now it’s my weight—I want to lose 25-30 pounds– from the “right” places; and for my husband to totally love me with complete faithfulness.
Challenge: To let the healthy and whole part of me increase and overtake my insecure, negative emotions and reactions so that the good outweighs the bad/weak parts of me. I want to face life with confidence that comes from complete surrender to and trust in God.
Biblical Figure: Sarai and Hagar – not the stupid part where you'd offer your husband another woman, but the part about feeling threatened by someone, then confirming that the threat is valid. Why? Experienced it
married 60 Texas
Ok…I am trucking along here…sorry I am getting to these so late but I am doing it!! Thanks for reading the late ones…
Kristi
Knoxville, TN
30's
Married
1. Prominent false positive…weight
2. Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completly secure part of us incresingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship!
3. Paul – "Like us, the fiersest enemy he had to fight in the fullfillment of his destiny was himself." Belittle boast, belittle boast……YUCK!
1. Prominent false positive-beauty- If only my skin would be clear and my thighs not bulge. Does everyone notice that one eyelid is droopy? That one breast is bigger than the other? Did they see that black hair on my chin I didn't notice?
2. My challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and compltely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Rachel is my girl- I know my husband loves me and is crazy about me. I just went off birth control and now am worried that I waited too long and can't get pregnant. That maybe I have a disease or am infertile.
Fran
Corryton, TN
40's
Married
1 — Most Prominent False Positive: God needs my help… Lets just leave it at that.
2 — The challenge: "Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3 — Right now, I identify with Saul the most. There is a constant fear that something or someone will be taken away from me. My second is Hagar and perceived threats and imaginations.
By the way, I love the title and yes like some of you I wanted to see who was watching when I purchased the book. I really admire the cover. Beth, your picture is like having you here as a friend in person who is encouraging me to press on. Thank you!
1. Our most prominent false positive are: An outgoing personality would make me a better person, If my husband would always give me constant approval then that would make me secure, not being over 150 lbs would make me feel more secure, if i could be indepentdently wealthy i would feel more secure
2. So let God take over our insecurities so that we may see a new self.
3. Rachel and Leah because there will always be someone that has something you want.
Kelly Jo 30 Albany Ky Single
Jordan 20 Ablany Ky Single
Brittany 20 Albany Ky Married
Amanda 20 Albany Ky Married
Karen 50's Married
Christina
St. Thomas, VI
29
Single
1) This is a hitting me in my gut because I think I am getting to the bottom of some of the issues that I have to face to get to a better place. I believe my most prominent false positive is a successful relationship. Not necessarily a healthy relationship but one that appears to be secure, loving, fun, matching, friendly, exciting, romantic and just good. I had a battle with my ex (I know he is my ex why am I battling with him still) yesterday and I realized the whole day’s energy changed because I was in an argument over text with my ex. I for some reason didn’t want to upset him because the past few years I have made some really selfish choices and need affirmation that I am trying to be a better and less selfish person. There is clearly a much deeper root to all of this but more than weight, appearance, wealth, popularity, etc. I seek a relationship with a man to know my blood is pumping. It attacks my work (I didn’t do much yesterday). It attacks my eating (I ate tons of junk yesterday). It is downright frustrating. But as Beth said…we have to acknowledge it so that we can deal with it.
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) Sarai: not because she handed her maidservant over to her man but because she wanted so badly to please her man that she allowed another woman to take care of him. I have desire most often to please my man so much that I give up many of my needs and wants to do so. I think this comes from as far back as my grandparents. I have a typical Spanish grandfather and he abused my grandmother her whole life and all the woman on that side desire a mans approval no matter what. Ugh..
Pam
Suffolk, UK
60s
married
1 My pfps are weight (i'm not grossly overweight but enough to find it difficult to find the clothes I like to wear and feel nice and well-dressed in), and financial security.
2 To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and open my eyes to the reasure I have and am in Him!
3 I haven't quite worked out this one yet, I'll have to give it some more thought.
1. My false positives are if only I was younger, didn't have this chronic illness, had more money then maybe my children would visit more, and my husband would treat me more lovingly.
2. challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3. I probably identify most with Leah. In some ways I think my husband loves me but he is very cold and is not affectionate…and angry a lot. And looks at other younger women so much.
1) My "prominent false positive" #1 has to be that "beauty will make me feel secure" (If I was JUST prettier!)
and #2) Financial success would make me secure (If we JUST had a bigger/nicer house)
Although I KNOW the human tendency to always want more would come in to play if I had/if I GOT both of those things-I would still want something more. I hope throughout this journey God will reveal to me His truth about how to be secure in what I DO have.
2) The Challenge stated at the end of Chapter 3: "Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship"
3) Probably Sarah-Because it's just like me to be jealous of someone for what they have-and fighting for (or spending money, etc…etc…) to get what I THINK I want that will match that other persons possessions-and then being dissatisfied with whatever it was. That's my nature-Get anything and everything I want-and then not like it like I thought I would and just have to have something more-and then remain bitter about it, and continuously ask myself "why did I spend money on that." Which leads to feeling of guilt, "that money could have been spent on this credit card bill…or I could have actually paid my utility bill on TIME" Why am I continuously insecure about what I DON'T have? What about being HAPPY, GRATEFUL, and Proclaiming His blessing on what I DO have?????????
Krissy
Arab, Alabama
20's
Married
Still insecure about being behind on my posting…so here is week two!
My prominent false positive is undoubtedly in the areas of financial security, position, and prominence. Didn't know one woman could have so many, did ya? Not having a job right now is just KILLING me. Not because we NEED me to work, although it helps these days, but just because I have to. I can take care of myself and don't need my MAN to think he has to. I need to know that I can control my life when it comes to our finances, my position, etc. I like to know that people know me. If they don't, I am terribly put off!
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Letting God's truth eclipse every false positive is seriously a challenge for me. Just exactly how DO I trust a God who I am quite certain does not really understand who I am…with the important things in my life. I'd like to hear that quiet little voice behind me once in a while. God talks to other people. He doesn't talk much to me?! Guess I need to hear some more of that truth.
I'll be back with Chapter 4 answers later.
Wendy
Colorado Springs
40'2
married
For question 3, yup, it's Saul. I am terribly threatened by smarter people all around me, and the more popular ones. I have done tons of right and good things, but look at what "she" has done. Of course, they kept her and let me go. Posh…Back to that truth of God again, huh? I can do all things through Christ..all I have is from him anyway…why do I believe the lies?
Wendy
Colorado Springs
40's
married
Molly
20's
Boston, MA
Married
False Positive: Definitely, absolutely, positively = thinness. When everything is stripped away, I don't like how I look or feel. I am angry, frustrated, and exhausted. I feel like I am burdened – and not just with weight. I feel like if I lose this excess burden, I would be "ok" with myself and be able to rest. Ironically striving after this goal creates so much pressure in my life that I constantly fold and actually get further from the goal rather than closer. Which leads me to more insecurity "Why can't I just fix this simple thing!" Let's not even get into the jealousy I am capable of feeling for people who don't struggle with their weight…
The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completelt secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false-positive and my eyes to be opened to treasure we have and are. Amen.
I completely related to Beth's insight about jealousy: "Jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat. And a threat always placed a 911 call to insecurity"
I relate to Saul ("He let. his emotions get so out of control that his insecurity morphed into complete instability."/"The need to be considered the greatest is always rooted in the gnawing fear that we're not.") and Paul ("… belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying, psychological zigzag")
Jennifer
Vevay, IN
30's
Married
1) I'd have to say that I seem to consistently think that if I just looked better (was skinnier, had better hair, better skin, etc.) I'd be more confident in all areas of my life.
2) my paraphrase. We need to see ourselves through God's eyes, to allow His ultimate and eternal truth to utterly and completely blot out our own skewed self-image. We need to see Jesus in us, to trust in His strength and light.
3)"No emotion is uglier than jealousy, and you can jot this one down in bold print: jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat."
Because I feel so insecure in myself, I often feel threatened when I encounter someone that is blatantly more gifted or talented in something that I want to be good at. I know it's wrong and I do a pretty good job of not letting it control me, but I certainly feel it. The worst part is, I know very well that we each have our own gifts and talents, given to us by God. I just have an unpleasant tendency to want to at least feel like I'm the one with the most of my particular gifts. Very selfish and very insecure.
1. My PFP is without a doubt my weight. "If only I could be back to my pre-baby weight, I'd be happy and confident." Yeah right! I wasn't even happy with myself for a minute BEFORE I had my 3 kids!
2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I can most relate to Saul because I too let my emotions sometimes "…get so out of control that [my] insecurity morphed into complete instability." I've had some instability lately because this blasted insecurity is gaining too much ground in my life.
Ashley
20's
Married
Colorado
Erica
Van Buren, MO
32
Married
I have a couple of prominent false positives. My first would be that job security would make me more secure. We own a construction company and we are always wondering when the next house will come in, or IF the next house will come in. Of course, we know and believe that the Lord provides all we need. And the second would be that beauty would make me secure. I struggled with an eating disorder after the birth of my daughter 6 years ago, during that time I also fell in love with running. NOT a good combo. Since then, I have regained to a healthy weight, enjoy running, and maintain there but my weight is always in the back of my mind. When I look at women in magazines I am often struck by how beautiful, thin, and fit they are even though my head knows that it is probably airbrushed out the wazoo. So it is something I have to be very mindful of…and sometimes my mind gets tired of thinking about it.
The challenge is to let the healthy, whole, and secure part of us overtake us until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
The statement that resonated the most with me is from page 54: "Insecurity lives in constant terror or loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them."
Becca
Salem, OR
20's
Married
1. Prominent false positive is popularity. To be liked by everyone and be the most important one in the room.
2. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord God will be upon us. (Psalm 90:17)
3. Paul – needing to affirm credentials, feeling inadequate – belittling/boasting interchangeably, dying to self.
Ontario Canada
33
Oh it's sohard to pick a false positive there are just so many. haha
I think though when I see someone who appears to have it all together and Juggle it all successfully. I think if I could just do that. Instead I'm a mess if I try to juggle one to many things I'm dropping something. But maybe just maybe they are too.
Moses, I've spent the last year reluctant to do things and go places when I knew thats what God wanted. I eventually went but not without much struggle. Fear of failure and inadequacy always nips at my heals.
Criss
SD
20's
single
1.Prominent False Positive: Being married would make me secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Sarai and Hagar: I'm not sure which I am more alike, but I know agree with 'we naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largly threatened by them.'
Unemployed now so financial or job security.
I liked Moses. God kept giving him a way out of the problems. God didn't get angry until Moses said send someone else.
Donna
WNC
Not sure if you are still taking comments or not, but I am a few weeks behind due to the birth of my daughter, but I have finally been able to get back into the book and am very thankful for this study at this particular time in my life!
Rachael
South Riding, VA
20s
Married
1. My false positive tends to be people I see that appear to have it all together. People who appear to have control over their spiritual life, their work life, and their home life — obviously they don't since that would be impossible this side of heaven!
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Probably due to the current season of my life, the stories of Leah and Rachael most resonated with me. Thinking of what I would have called my baby girl (who is almost 3 weeks old) if we had waited to name her until Day 7 would have revealed a great amount of insecurity to be sure!
Loribeth
Cypress, TX
18
Single
1) Mine would definitely have to be appearance/weight. I've struggled with weight all my life, and I tend to think that if I can only lose enough weight, I will be the person I've always wanted to be. Oh, how fooled I have been…
2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." That is my prayer… oh Lord, make all I am of Yourself.
3) Paul. Just the fact that it seemed like he could never get over the fact that God would use him. His weaknesses were so much, that he felt unworthy. I am the same way. My own worst enemy is myself.
1)my prominent false positive would be…well..i have many. they would be – to be beautiful, smart, financially more stable, to have a nicer house, nicer car, to have everyone like me. And not just like me but to reeeaaallly like me and say nice things about me.
2)the challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3)for me it would be Saul and his fear of loss. Iam always in fear of something bad happening. Im afraid my daughter wont think im a good enough mother because her friends mothers do some things differently or buy them things all the time or their moms are smarter. Im afraid my husband secretly wishes he hadnt married me because of (my baggage) Im afraid he will one day find someone prettier or smarter than me. Someone that has so much more to offer him. One of my biggest fears is that he knows or feels these things about me and ill never find out. Or ill find out when its too late.
demi
31
kentucky
married
1)my prominent false positiveS ARE…beauty,financial more stable,to be smart,to have a nicer house,to have nicer things,to have people like me. Not just to like me but to really like me and say nice things about me.
2)challenge: to let the healthy utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthenvessels until it drives every emotion reaction and relationship.
3)i guess mine would be most like Saul and his fear of loss. Im always afraid something bad is going to happen. Usually it does, and usually it happens when i least expect it to. Right when i stop worrying something bad is going to happen and i get a little too comfortable. Something bad happens. Actually what i used to do when i was in my early 20's when things were calm in my life, i would do something to create chaos. Thats what i grew up living in. CHAOS!!! Complete and utter Chaos. Sometimes it turns up now that when i get comfortable and things are running smoothly. If i overreact about something or if my husband and i argue. I always second guess myself and completely over anylyze wether im trying to create chaos now. i cant stand it. Anyways, its kinda funny to me that im actually admitting to these things and writing them down for the world to see. Its hard for me to even go back and read what i write. im such a broken little girl inside. Anyways so im always afraid of loss.
(yes, I know … I am late. So sorry!)
Becky Jo
40's
Married
Chesterfield, MI
False Positive – Body image. I always think if I lost weight I could …
If I weren't so old, I'd …
I could fit into those cute clothes I would … well, I WOULD! LOL!
Challenge – Allowing God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have in His glorious reflection, to see the treasure we are.
Who do I relate to – A little bit of all of em. I cannot have children so I feel Sarai's pain. But the one that intrigues me the most is Paul. What gets me is that he is SO insecure and unsure himself. He says that he has not reached the goal and admits his struggles… BUT, he is WRITING THE BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! God used him, even with all his issues, to bring forth His word to all of us.
WOW!
Erica
Tennessee
20's
Married
1. My false positives are:
Positive feedback/Approval from others would make me secure.
Financial success would make me secure.
Being able to do it all and look fabulous while doing it would make me secure.
2. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. This is now written on our family chalkboard…
3. Sarai and Hagar…"We naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largely threatened by them." When I read that, I felt this sense of relief that what I have been feeling hasn't been out of the ordinary.
1. If I was tall and slender…
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses. Because even though most people wouldn't think that any type of public speaking bothers me, I am so afraid of forgetting something and looking like an idiot.
Terri
from Grand Rapids, MI
married, in my 50's
katie, north carolina, 20s, married
1. weirdly, it has been difficult to pinpoint that "one thing" that i look to/obsess over for my security…to be honest i think i have a handfull swirling around, waiting to show themselves in the right situation: when i was single=to be married, when i was postpartum=to have my old figure, when we are struggling financially=to be "set", when i'm a stay at home mom=to go back to school and have my independence again, and the list could go on and on. i definitely resonate with feeling a very deep threat of my husband not finding me desirable, beautiful, intriguing anymore. this is the only one that doesn't seem to go away; even despite his hard pursuit of me and the seasons of doing a very good job of getting the message across that i am his choice woman on the whole earth. even that can't change it for me. i guess i could say that is my deepest fear (next to losing my daughter)–my husband not wanting me anymore.
2.with Jesus's help, i will let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship…
3. most resonate with Eve, specifically in her act of covering out of shame and maybe even self-hatred. these have my sidekicks my entire life and i mastered being invisible (what i thought was anyway) and not fully disclosing my real self.
Alison, 30's, married, Norman, OK
Finally I get to participate!
1> My prominent false positive is whether or not other people, primarily my husband, want to BE with me.
2> The challenge: Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3> Sarai. "Any time a third party enters the intimacy of marriage, someone is eventually going to get thrown out." Well, I, like Sarai have felt the threat of being the one "thrown out" before, and like Sarai, have fought tooth and nail, to the point of being bitter and hateful, to keep my spot in the "two".
1. My most prominent false positive is that financial security will make me truly secure. I am really fighting with that one right now. I only became aware of it a couple years ago, and it really shocked me. I have not been able to let it go in spite of the awareness.
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." hmm… seems I have desired something like this, but never felt it was possible for me- until now!
3. resonated most with Saul- I have thought "why would God use me for this or people come to me (I am a counselor) when there are so many others who are probably better at this than I am."
Kristi
Belgrade, MT
30's
married
Amber
Fort Collins, CO
30s
Single
My most prominent false positive is financial security.
The challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Saul is the Biblical figure I related to most. I thought I would be farther along in my career path than I am now and it's difficult for me to see younger people zooming by. This is definitely a direct correlation with my prominent false positive.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
Education—A college degree would make me secure. I would feel not feel inferior to others but qualified and adequate.
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three?
That, beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17, NKJV).
I saw these wonderful verses in Luke 11:33-36 that reinforce this concept:
No one lights a lamp and then hides it or puts it under a basket. Instead, it is put on a lampstand to give light to all who enter the room. Your eye is a lamp for your body. A pure eye lets sunshine into your soul. But an evil eye shuts out the light and plunges you into darkness. Make sure that the light you think you have is not really darkness. If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight is shining on you. NLT
God, my prayer is for You to fill me with more and more of Your light so there are no dark corners left and I will reflect Your radiant light!!
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
Paul—I strive mightily to let my faith override my weaknesses, feelings, and fears just like he did. I struggle with my inner self to try and wrestle her to the ground by the Spirit and to stand up to be the kind of person I had no inkling I could be—p. 57. I knew I had won a victory as God was renewing my mind to think like Paul – my strength is made perfect in weakness. I am finding joy in the fact that the power of Christ can work through me because I am weak. Cf. 2 Cor. 11:29-30; 2 Cor. 12:5, 9-10. Only God can turn what man considers a defeat and turn it into a victory for His glory!!
Johnnie
Married
Wake Forest, NC
50's
Rachel
Athens, GA
20's
single
My most prominant false positive is the whole weight/looks issue–if I were only thin and had a beautiful smile then I'd be able to approach any situation with confidence.
I identified most with Saul–insecurity lies in a constant terror of loss. My main losses have come through death of family and I guess even now I'm always wondering "who's going to be next…" What a terrible way to live!!
My challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Heather
Tallahassee, FL
30's
Married
My most prominent false positives are beauty and health would make me more secure, popularity and credentials.
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
I think Paul's insecurities resonated with me most, because I have always seen Paul as a superhero of the faith. He faced death and prison so many times seemingly without fear, so insecurity by comparing himself to the other apostles was something that never occurred to me that he would struggle with.
Dawn
Hamilton, NJ
30's
Married
1. At first I thought that my prominent false positive is financial security; it certainly is one of the top two. It seems like most of our problems stem from not having enough money to go around. Especially since we haven't paid our mortgage since August. Yes, it's scary and I think so much stress we experience would be relieved if we had enough money. And those who have a lot seem to have it all, even though I know that they don't. Look at the rich & famous. I'd rather be poor than Tiger's wife!
After further reflection this morning, I think that my false positive is the need to be accepted. Just like someone else said, that people like being with me. I'm so concerned with being that low maintenance friend and keeping the peace that I don't always let my true self show. I'm especially fearful of showing the turmoil within at times because I don't want to cause other people trouble.
2.Challenge, to let Christ grow in us so much that all thoughts of insecurity are pushed out and we can be the confident women God made us to be and reflect His glory. (Dawn's translation)
3. I most identify with Moses. He had this fabulous spiritual experience, but STILL asked God to send someone else. Maybe I'm portraying him with my issues, but I don't think it was because he was lazy. I think it was because he was terrified that he would no do it right or mess it up somehow. He had a major failure in his past and knew that he was just a big screw up and felt that God was choosing the wrong person. I too am afraid of the calling God has on my life. I feel as if I'm failed at almost everything I touched (homeschooling my kids & our finances are just two biggies)and I'm afraid that I will blow it big time in the things that God has called me to do. And in doing so, hinder God's kingdom and reflect badly on Him instead of being a good witness and pushing the kingdom forth.
1. Beauty (great skin!) and popularity would be my false positive. If everyone like you, wants to be your friend, why would you have insecurity?
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I'm always amazed by the transformation of Paul, he's a complex guy/interesting – but that transformation, that determination/resolution and close walk with the Lord and plan for an impactful life is what I want!
Katie
Evergreen, CO
40s
Married