Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
mslex 
Sarah
Single
Colorado Springs, CO
30's
1. False Positive: Financial Security. Being a single mother, I tend to wrap everything into being financially secure, or what I see as secure. I worry a lot about this.
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3. The biblical figure I seem to be drawn to is the woman at the well. Although I've been married once and now divorced and then lived with a man and now single…..I wrap my security up in a man. This ties into the false positive. If I had a man with a good job to take care of me, life would be fine. I tend to 'over-look' big red flags when meeting a man. I'm the poster child for I-N-S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y.
Thank you Jesus that you are my provider and I do not need a man to be secure! Keep working this out in me, and the rest of us working through this book. May you Lord be glorified!!!
Holly, 49, married, Gvlle, Sc
Laying in bed last night, I realized with my last post I was insecure because i did not want to post my name because, What if someone I knew read it! How insecure is that!
as to the questions this week:
1) false positive is weight
2)Let God's truth eclipse every false positive and let our eyes open to the treasure we have, in his gloriuos reflection, as well as the treasure we are.
3)Sarai/Leah – having a 3rd person in the marriage and then due to circumstances, giving up on true emotional intimacy and settling for attachment.
Sara
18
Belton, Tx
Single
1. My prominent false positive is mostly in my body image. It's the thing that I think about every stinkin' day. I'm always asking myself, "will this make me look fat?" and thinking, "if only I were 10 lbs. lighter, I would be happy with my body(& my life)." Yikes.
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." (That's definitely going on the bathroom mirror!)
3. I definitely understand the whole Sarai-Hagar thing. Not because Sarai willingly gave Hagar over to her husband(I would never condone such a thing), but b/c of Sarai's issue w/control. I can totally relate to seeing something that needs to be done and then taking things into my own hands. more often then not, it causes more harm than good. Yikes again.
Dana
Weatherford,Tx
40
Married
Stacy
Cincinnati, OH
40's
Married
1- false positive- weight loss, if I were skinny, and also financially secure
2- challenge- listening to God's truth, let His promises run through my mind, speak those truths of who I am in christ
3- Saul- "we're not jealous of people in whom we see nothing admirable. In fact, it is the fear that they have something we don't that makes us most insecure"
it made me think, about people I am jealous of, it tends to be just that.
Victoria
30s
married
Thomasville, NC
1. The one thing that would make me better in all things? As odd as it is to say, especially since I'll be revealing my inner oxymoron, that one thing for me is self-confidence. I see women who just seem to fit every situation, every atmosphere, every thing. They smile the biggest, laugh the loudest, and cry that ugly cry in a beautifully confident way. If I could just ooze self-confidence, I'd be so much more confident. That makes so much non-sense.
2. Our challenge is to step into the security granted us as daughters to the King and stay there until that confidence in being set apart by Christ is all we carry in this world!
3. Paul screams to me from the pages of Scripture. We're buddies in our undeserved grace and knowledge of the Lord. He knew we were all in that same boat and yet he was sure to show himself as the deckhand and not the "official" crew. In awe of the awesome works God brought others to first just long enough for God to remind him of the awesomeness in the works through him as well. Guilt, unworthiness, and awe often leave me feeling out of my league among Christian women, especially in ministry!
Shareese, 32
Married in Maryland
1. The thing I tend to associate most with security is my relationship with my husband. Right now we are at a point where the rubber meets the road and we have to put up or shut up and I am just at a lost. I had no idea how dependent I am on this man. I mean, he thinks for me! Pitiful! Im grateful for this book however and look forward to a healthy self image and a healthy marriage…
And of course If I can lose these last 20 pounds, I would be more secure (NOT!)…
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship…AMEN and thanks mother from another!
3.I can identify with Eves wardrobe issues, and Sarai’s inadequacies so low that she allowed another woman to sleep with her man out of a feeling that she can’t give him what he wants, but the most important point made to me was the word THREAT! I circled that one really big in my book. I for the life of me couldn’t come up with a word to describe the way our feel when I see my husband’s ex wife, or even before him, the feeling I got when my imagination went too far and my thoughts begin to take over and cause my dukes to go up. THREAT…The questions hit me the most in my life right now. What am I afraid of? What am I afraid of losing? Why am I afraid of being displaced? And then my added question? What is it about me that don’t think I’m good enough or deserve what I have? Why am I threatened? And lastly, I love this…Jeasouly is always a result of a perceived heart. And a threat always places a 911 call to insecurity. It all goes back to the heart…Thanks Mama!
Debbie
50s (barely)
Rochester, MN
1.False positive – my appearance
2.Rachel. I’m not there now, but I used to believe that God didn’t like me as well as He liked several others, and that was devastating. I knew He was right. But thank you, Beth—it was through your introduction to "A Woman’s Heart, God’s Dwelling Place" that I finally realized that Jesus will one day turn His attention fully on me, look me in the eyes, and lovingly call me by my name! That has made ALL the difference.
1. My Prominent False Positive would definitely be weight. Since I hit the 30's I dont know what happen! I look like when I was pregnant! I have never in my life been this heavy. And to make it worse, a friend always says, " you dont look that big!" Who are you trying to fool here! I keep saying to myself, if I just lose 30 or 40 pounds I will be happier or my husband will be more attracted to me.
2. The challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three is allow Gods truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in his glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are!
3. The Biblical figure I most relate to is Sarai. My husband and I went through a time period where he was unfaithful and another child was conceived. I can so relate to Sarai wanting to get rid of the other woman and child! I was there! I am still there and God is definitely working on me to learn to forgive! Thank you Lord for forgiving me even when I did not deserve it!
Jennifer
Ontario, Canada
30's
Married
My false positive is a toss up between financial security and a great marriage – although the great marriage includes me staying slim and beautiful and very desireable to my husband.
I relate most with is Saul as I have a big issue with Jealsouy over momey and also keeping my husband with me in my marriage, in every sense of the word…only needing or wanting me.
Nora, 30's, married, Shreveport, LA
1. I try to place the pfp on several areas, but I think it all boils down to financial security. Because if we could just make a little more money, I could quit my job, I could then spend more time with my children, my friends, and God. I would have more time to be a better mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. I could get a new car and stop worrying about the next time the old one might go into the shop for repairs. My husband and I could take that honeymoon we didn't go on 7 years ago when we got married and that would definitely draw us closer. And the list goes on and on…
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Rachel…when I see others getting what I think I want, the jealousy can bubble under my skin; what a horrible feeling!
Also Moses, there are times when I can hear God calling me to do something and I just want to dig my heels in the ground and say "no"…who am I to do that?
30's, married
1. My Prominent False Positive is absolutely appearance.
2. The challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Saul – "insecurity lives in constant terror of loss" – I "lost" my first husband (i.e. he left me) and live in mortal fear of my second (and hopefully last) husband leaving me too.
Melanie
Sweetwater, Tennessee
20s…..29 😉
married
Why do I always want to be someone I'm not? My false promise – if only I was super outgoing like others (like Beth Moore!) But I have to remind myself that yes, I am created in HIS image perfectly. Speaking it and believing it!!
And I choose to allow God's truth to "eclipse every false positive" and truly see the treasure I have through Christ.
I relate to Moses way too many times. God says to do this … but there I go… but God….
Thank YOU for this book! In January, my goal I set for this year was to let go of the insecurity so when I saw that "So Long Security" was coming out in February, I was thrilled! So, I am so glad the word insecurity is in big letters on the cover!
Karen
Olathe, Kansas
50
married
Am I allowed to over-achieve and have two prominent false positives? The first is financial security, but the next one I didn't realize until I read another siesta's post, then it just glared at me in neon lights…youthfulness in the form of no wrinkles and more energy. Jiminy, I'm so shallow I am sitting in the baby pool.
Challenge to Karen – to let the healthy, utterly whole, and secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.
I identify most with Moses; no matter how many times God has shown himself faithful to me, I still find myself wavering when it comes time to step outside of my comfort zone.
1. My false positive(s) would be a)financial security, b) hair/looks/appearance generally and c)my home–phew!
2. The challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure pat of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in HIS glorious reflection–seeing the treasure we are.
3. Unfortunately, Saul is the character I probably relate to the most — wow, I hadn't thought of it in those terms before Insecure in my own position so that when someone else gets the the blessing, I feel a twinge — of jealousy? Ouch. This nailed me.
Sue
Grand Rapids, MI
50's
Married
Sandra
40's
Married
Wichita Falls, TX
My false positives would be personality/looks and financial. I have always thought that everyone liked my younger sister more then me due to personality and looks. I realize that she is probably just as insecure as I am. Also, always wondering if we will makeit through the month.
May I let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Ps 90:17 NKJV)
I most relate to Moses for not wanting to speak out, wanting someone else to do it for me and Saul for hiding in the baggage.
Stephanie T
Macclenny, Fl
30's
Married
The award for most insecure went to Saul. The statement as to why resonated the most with me. “He allowed his emotions to get so out of control that his insecurity morphed into complete instability.” Being honest with myself reveals just how close this statement comes to being me.
Sue, 52
Divorced, Oklahoma City
I can relate to all of the false positives listed in your book. But the one that hits home the most is youth and beauty. I think because I have always thought that they were the only things of value I had to offer. And of course the media heavily, heavily endorses the idea that youth and beauty hold infinite value. So as I began to “mature”, (its hard to even say “age”) I almost panicked. Why would anyone want me??? Not that I let myself go. But I lived a life filled with negative thoughts and self sabotaging actions, unable to accept life in its reality. But Praise God! I am so much better now. I am no longer afraid to admit my age or worry about losing that youthful appearance. I am proud to be who I am. I'm learning God is enough. I still have twinges of jealousy when I realize that the “world” seems to see older women as transparent. That does hurt. And if I think about it long enough….it scares me too. So this journey is absolutely necessary for me.
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon me. (Psm 90:17)
I think the two Biblical figures that resonated with me are Saul and Paul. Saul, because he lived in constant terror of loss and I can relate to the way he let his emotions get so out of control that insecurity became complete instability. I was very close to that point. Scary!!!!
And Paul, because his life was a “psychological zigzag”. He was daily dying to the distractions that kept him from God. Fighting all the time. That’s what I feel like at times.
But I DO have this Treasure!
Devanee
late 30's
Married
Ulysses, KS
1. My most prominent false positive-if I was more outgoing or "a leader" instead of a follower I would be more secure in all things. (I know that is my personality but…)
2. Our challenge:To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessel until it drives OUR every emotion, reaction, and relationships. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3. The Biblical figure that resonates with me is: Moses, when he said he couldn't lead the people out of Egypt and into the Promised Land because he couldn't speak well. I can so relate. I do not feel like I can lead. I feel like my words sound good in my head but when I try to say them to someone else it does not come out that well.
Melanie
Northport, Alabama
40's
Married
Most prominent false positive is financial success would make me secure. I have to realize that I was raised by parents who put a huge emphasis on education and money. I am secure in Christ alone!
Lord Jesus, I pray that you will totally overtake me and make me healthy, utterly whole and completely secure in who I am in YOU! I praise you that you are perfect!
I most identify with Sarai, because she was unable to give her husband a child when she really wanted to.. although the Lord has blessed us with a beautiful daughter…I still wish we could have had another child and I have secondary infertility and it makes me feel as if I have cheated my husband and child of a blessing. I am not bitter but I am still sorrowful for this percieved loss even though I know that God knows what is best for me and us!
Andrea
Elgin, IL
29
Married
1. My PFP is: Not care about what others think of me. I feel I am very insecure when I find out someone doesn’t agree with me or is even upset me. I am also insecure about my lack of knowledge about scripture. I feel that if was more confident in that I would have a stronger foundation and more confident in my faith.
2. Our Challenge: Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Bible Character: I can relate to both Moses and Paul. I often underestimate myself and feel like I am not worthy or able to complete the task. I am a lot like Paul too because I know that I have certain strengths and I have confidence in those things. But I often find myself underestimating myself because I know I have weaknesses in other areas. I try to focus on the things I know I can do well but I can’t help but allow those things to become overshadowed by self-doubt. I worry too much about what other people think of me and I think that also keeps me from being a witness to others. Especially since I feel like I lack a lot of knowledge about scripture.
I try really hard to allow God to use me and teach me in spite of my weakness. When I do, I know the Holy Spirit is with me and that builds my confidence for the future.
I am watching 'Wednesdays with Beth' on my local PBS channel and Beth is talking about how we trash our confidence. If we persevere we will be richly rewarded! God will redeem us and turn our trash into treasure! SO encouraging and exactly what I need to hear. I promise I will pull my spiritual and self-confidence out of the trash. Thank you, Beth!!
Peggy
Cheyenne, WY
50's, divorced
1. My false positive is I need to be loved by a man to be happy.
2. The challenge at the end of Chapter 3 is: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. The biblical figure who resonated most with me is the woman at the well. I think I can relate to her. At times, I felt so desperate to be loved that I went to unhealthy lengths to "buy love" and try to keep it. And then we realize it wasn't love at all.
I feel deep down inside myself that this book is the final part of God's healing in me. Thank you, Father.
1)Prominent false positives:
People liking me- enough to be friends with me. My comunity is very transiant, so good friends rarely stay more than a few years before moving far away.
Financial security- that I and my family are provided for. I recently had a loved one pass away and I look at remaining family now financially on their own and it strikes that fear,'what would I do if it were me?'
2)Moses- I can TOTALLY relate to feeling inadequete.
But disturbingly I see my tendency also towards Saul! I frequently feel the bitter humiliation (if only in my mind) that someone else can do my job SO much better AND have everyone love and appreciate them far more than my pathetic offering. Which then leads me to the thinking, "Who needs me when there's a 'David' around?"
I can't say that I 've ever wished them dead, instead my tendancy is to quit/ remove myself. Especially in this culture of, 'what can you do for me NOW?'
Diane
30's
alaska
Prominent False Positive–smarts, credentials– all those degrees on the wall!
Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every falst positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflceiton we'll also see the treasure we are."
Moses—send someone else–not eloquent. God dealt with me about this one before going overseas and having to learn another language.
Debbie
Hickory, NC
50s
By the way—turning 50 was great for me–somehow settled with who I am etc…at almost 54 now it seems to get better and better–but of course reading the book is still very helpful! Did turning 50 give you the boost to write the book? Just curious!
…
Raleigh,NC
30's
separating
1. Have no false positives b/c they are all true.
NO man, $, not in prime of life, not pretty, not successful, no degrees, etc.
2. working on repeating this statement.
3. Paul, felt learned to let go and let God. working on that one.
Aurora
40's
Happily Married
Palm Coast, Florida
I have to confess that despite my many blessngs, perky boobs are not two of them. My insecurity peaks when around those who exhibit tasteful, taut, twins.
Our challenge is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
I can most relate to Moses. I often feel less than equipped for the tasks before me.
Katie
Knoxville, TN
20's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive is my marriage. I have a very loving marriage and a gentle husband. However, no marriage is without it's problems and when they arise, I fall apart and become very insecure about who I am. Definitely grateful to realize that is a false positive and underneath still lies insecurity.
2. Our challenge is "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Chapter 4 was huge for me and I read so much of it over and over again. Here's what resonated the most. I identified with Moses for feeling incapable (and yet God was still patient with him). I also identified with Saul because he let his out of control emotions turn into instability. What can I say, I just have those days where I feel completely unstable! So I was glad Paul was next because he gave me something to strive for. He wasn't superhuman, but was unwilling to let his weaknesses, feelings, and fears override his faith. He is living proof I don't have to let my worst get the best of me!
Kara
30s
Married
Aurora, Il
1. I think my prominent false positive is definitely body image…but I also think this book has flushed out my desire to be right and know all the answers…to be seen as someone you want to talk with or get advice from. If only people would find me a source of wisdom…then I would feel secure!
2.Challenge: When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE.
3. Oh dear, I resonated with many of the biblical figures, but probably now I resonate most with Moses and his insecurity in what God was calling him to do. I am a pastor's wife…and I NEVER thought I would be one and while I think my husband is an amazing pastor, I have so many insecurities about the title of "pastor's wife" that I tend to say to God, "really? You want me to do this?"
Rebecca
50s
married
Fort Collins, CO
PFP: thinness and popularity sorry to me they go hand in hand. If I am thin I will be popularity. I am about 150 lbs over weight and it effects every inch of me.
To let the healthy, untterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
I was shocked by this one: Saul
Honestly shocked.
**It doesn't seem to be saving for comment moderation. If I'm sending this multiple times, I apologize.**
Melinda
30's
Married
Kansas City, MO
1. My false positives would be money. I didn't realize it until recently, but I guess I've always kind of had the thought that "more money would make me more secure." I didn't realize this was still a problem for me, until I was visiting my dad and rich stepmother, and she gave me money to get my oldest daughter some shoes. She wanted me to go to Macy's and I ended up going to Wal-Mart.
But a second one that is more obvious to me is one I mentioned last week. I'm homeschooling my children, and this is our first year. I don't feel like I'm doing such a great job, and I'm ALWAYS comparing myself to the other homeschool moms in my church.
2. The challenge as I understand it is to let the Holy Spirit that lives in us to take over ourselves and totally rule our lives. To let the Spirit drive out the insecurity of our humanity so that we can revel in the security of the divine.
3. I didn't really have a certain character that I identified with, but the way that you told the story of Sarai and Hagar really stuck out and made a lot of sense for me this time. And in a way, I guess the story of Sarai resonated with me a little bit. So desperate to get what she wanted that she couldn't wait on God. I struggle, I guess, with that.
Tami in Tyler, TX
Married in my 30's
#1. My prominent false positive is thinking that if I could just get all my ducks in a row I would be more secure. I tend to be a bit freaky about maintaining control and need a plan (or list) for everything. I feel like I have to get it all mapped out before I can make the first move. Pitiful. And if I could just get rid of this muffin top…
#2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
#3. I most identify with Paul and how "in all probability, he fought the awful feeling that he wasn't as good as the others who hadn't done nearly so much wrong." Oh me, oh my.
1) I have numerous false positives in my life, but probably the two most prominent false positives, at this stage in my life, would be "Recapturing youthfulness and Beauty." I feel as though I am too young to be an "Empty nester." (I absolutely despise that word) Most couples that are the same age as my husband and I still have small children at home. Because we got married young, had our baby young and were unable to have any more children, then we find ourselves in this new phase of life much earlier than we had planned. It makes me feel insecure in my circles. I feel as though I've suddenly been thrown into an "older" group of people. Also, at this phase in life, you begin to reevaluate all that you have been to this point. You think of things that you wish you had done differently or that you could do over and do better. I feel as though I am looking older as well. I sure wish this didn't bother me so much! I must say that I am one of those that often looks in the mirror and says, "Bless your heart!" I am constantly trying new facial creams, anti wrinkle serums and new makeup and hairstyles to help to improve my looks and make me look younger! I wish it didn't bother me, but unfortunately I cannot seem to get past this. The funny thing is that I have felt this way even since I was a much younger person.
2) "This, beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the LORD will be upon us!"
3) I believe that I most resonated with Moses when he said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." Being a pastor's wife, often forces me to be in situations that I feel are beyond my capability and/or beyond my knowlege level. I long to know Christ and His Word more and I don't want to do anything that would hinder others spiritually. I have never felt as though I was capable of filling the "shoes" of a pastor's wife. I was beginning to get victory in this area of my life, until the last couple of years when my husband and I received much criticism. This made me "retreat," so to speak, and made me want to go into hiding. Probably one of the most hurtful things that I heard was that my husband and I began to think that the ministry was "all about us!" These words were so wounding because we had tried so hard to make it known that it was all about GOD! Nothing could have been farther from the truth, however when one hears criticism, it should be evaluated. We (my husband and I) have searched our hearts to see if there was any truth to what was said.We have always wanted it to be clear that anything that comes from a ministry that we are apart of is because of GOD and not us! I must admit that I took this criticism very personally and have felt as though I never wanted to try again. I know now that this stems from a deep rooted insecurity of feeling like someone else could do it better and like I was not capable of doing what the Lord called me to do.
Elisabeth
Effingham, IL
40
Married
Sara
Lavonia, GA
20's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive is productivity or accomplishments, the main reason is because most of the time I feel so unproductive and like I am accomplishing nothing. And I see others around who are always getting things done and accomplishing so much and they make it look so easy..ugh!
2. Dear Heavenly Father, please let the healthy completely secure part-that only You can give-take over until it drives every action, motive, and emotion all the Siestas and I have!
3. Sarai and Hagar's story resonated most with me. For one I can't imagine giving my man another woman to be with (because happiness in marriage would be a close 2nd false positive). Secondly, It magnified the fact that we "naturally" despise and even mistreat the ones that "we feel LARGELY THREATENED by" (p.48) While Sarai and Hagar's threats were real and hugely brought on by themselves, I so often have negative feelings toward people I am threatened by that aren't even a legitamate threat!!
Missy
Winston-Salem, NC
20s
Married
1. Prominent False Positive: The approval of the people I love the most. My most consistent stronghold has been perfectionism. As pathetic as it sounds, I live in fear of disappointing those around me. I want them to think I'm perfect, even though I know I'm not and constantly wish I didn't have to live under all the pressure! That's why I'm on this journey – to put that stronghold to rest – so that I can REST for crying out loud!
2. Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship." AMEN!
3. Rachel and Leah. I have been putting together some extra bible study questions for the group I'm facilitating, so I studied their story more in depth this past week. As I think about their story (particularly Leah), the word that comes to mind is heavy! That is heavy stuff! Yet, I could so relate. Their story more than any of the others encapsulates the idea of the false positive for me. Oh, that we would stop looking to the women around us and wanting what they have!
Mary Helen
Dallas, TX
20's
Married
1. My prominent false positive is outward appearance/weight. Growing up, I was always considered one of the "pretty" girls, but I have never been the smallest. I find myself putting way too much emphasis on certain parts of my body and thinking "if only I was thinner" a lot. I find it hard not to compare myself to other women – and somehow, they all seem smaller and/or more beautiful.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. The Biblical figure that resonated the most with me was Rachel. How often I envy those who have something that I do not! I haven't quite figured out exactly what threats I am feeling, but I hope to during the rest of the journey.
Thank you Beth & friends for all of the insight that you are sharing. We will get through this together!
Visit my blog cuz I have too much to say! 🙂 I'm mouthy like that!
http://www.everyseasonunderheaven.blogspot.com
30
Married
Missouri
1. My #1 false positive right at the moment is: if I could look like my sisters-in-law and mother-in-law I would have it made. They are so beautiful and skinny- without effort. I am beating my pregnancy weight off and it will not budge! My insecurity is not helped by the fact that just last week one of them offered me her fat clothes! Help me Lord!
2. Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are!!!!!
3. Saul, the jealousy, when he seemingly had it all. This quote especially touched me, to the point that I wrote it out to think on or say when I am feeling insecure: "Insecurity live in constant terror of loss."
Lastly, I have to say a word to our Mama- Thank you, thank you for your honesty! I am so grateful you are willing to be so transparent with us. God Bless you this week!
Tiffany in Apollo Beach Fl
happily married, 33
Tami, I completely understand about having all my ducks in a row. I know it's insecurity, but I feel the need to plan and conquer. My husband is deployed and I'm raising my three kids and if I don't stay organized I will go insane. I know it's obsessive sometimes, but it helps me be secure. Unfortuanately as I've grown older, it's gotten worse. I'm afraid that someday I won't be able to enjoy the freedom of the days and not feel like I have to "accomplish" something! Praying for you this week!
1. My most prominent false positive is appearance; clothing, hair, body size – it's all about the externals. I realize that when I walk into a room, I immediately "grade" everyone's appearance and then figure my place. Then either insecurity enters or pride – neither is good! I feel that I'm constantly chasing an image that isn't real. After pondering where this comes from, I realized that for most of my life I've just never felt I fit anywhere. As a kid I was constantly teased and picked on and I never wore what the other kids wore. No designer duds, nothing "in". So I guess I've been trying to makeup for all those awkward years. But now I realize that if I could get to the "right" weight, have the perfect outfit, and a really great hair day, would it make me completely secure? No, only our God can and praise Him I'm finally letting that truth penetrate my thoughts.
2. The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. The one thing that resonated with me the most is the statement about Paul: "he was enormously used of God in spite of himself". I too have battled with the insecurity/pride (see number 1 above) combo. I'm eager to free of both sides of that ugly duo!
Karen
Virginia Beach, VA
40's
Married
Karen
30's
married
minnesota
1. be more outgoing
2. To let the helthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3.THREAT! "Studies have long since proven that much of what we fear is fueled by our imaginations, and in fact, most of what we fear never happens." I'm am constantly struggling with this! Also, "jealousy is always a result of perceived threat"…wow, you got me there!
I have come to the conclusion (like I didn't know it already) that I am a complete mess!!
1) Prominent False Positive – Success (in any area) – marriage, motherhood, weight/appearance, relationships, home, health – see I feel like such a failure in all of these
2) Challenge: To let the unhealthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) I think I most resonate with Saul…because of two comments Beth made – "his feelings were so conflicted", I feel like I ride a roller coaster all the time and also "he let his emotions get so out of control that his insecurity morphed into complete instability" I hate to admit it but this is perhaps where I function daily … so sad and disappointing!
I have come to the conclusion (like I didn't know it already) that I am a complete mess!!
1) Prominent False Positive – Success (in any area) – marriage, motherhood, weight/appearance, relationships, home, health – see I feel like such a failure in all of these
2) Challenge: To let the unhealthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) I think I most resonate with Saul…because of two comments Beth made – "his feelings were so conflicted", I feel like I ride a roller coaster all the time and also "he let his emotions get so out of control that his insecurity morphed into complete instability" I hate to admit it but this is perhaps where I function daily … so sad and disappointing!
Sorry I posted without my info…
(Maybe you can cancel the last post and use this one)
Sharon
GA
40"s
married
Lonita
Manitoba, Canada
Married – 30's
1. My prominent false positive is a combination of the three "P's" – popularity, power and presitge. I think lots of people knowing me and thinking well of me would aid in my security. I know I'm wrong but right now that is how my mind works. Please change me, Lord!
2. Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. The Bible characters I would be able to identify with the most is Leah because I too feel that I have to earn other's love by what I do, say and provide. I can also identify with Paul because I too often feel that I am not as good as the others – particularly not as gifted.
Suzanne
50's
Chicago
Married
1. My prominent false positive is definitely body image, but also being one who can get up and talk in front of people. That probably has a lot to do with how I feel about my body image.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are.
3. Oh most definitely Moses. Discovered this about myself a few years ago in a Bible study. I said, “That’s me! Please, Lord, find someone else who is much more comfortable speaking to a small group or large crowd.”
Jeannie-Marie
41
Single Mother
Sanger, CA
*Please forgive the long post as I must share what powerful insight and significance this study is. God Bless Your Socks Off, Beth!!!
1) Wow! I was blind, but now I see! Unaware of what I was doing, I’ve lived my life trying to obtain, what I understand now to be the “myth” that having my false positives would make me secure. My prominent false positive is: A great man would make me secure. Followed by a close 2nd: Beauty would make me secure (This would help me obtain the first). I didn’t realize it until now, but I have had 2 dreams that confirm that these are my false positives: 1st dream: April 2007 – I was standing and watching Jesus hand out marriages, happy marriages to couples in a line, they seemed to not understand the gift that it was, not really appreciating it. I watched as Jesus gave marriage after marriage to couples, I then hung my head because I did not receive one, then Jesus told me, That I will receive my reward in Heaven, and I saw myself in a mansion, a large place, with wide halls, and I was walking the halls alone, and I told Jesus, I didn’t want the mansion if He was not going to be there with me. 2nd Dream: July 4, 2007 There was a bunch of us girls that went to a hotel/spa type place just to stay and then, we were told that we were in some type of Bachelor type contest. They were all very pretty girls and after we were done with one part of it, we all took breaks and went swimming, I noticed that the others were gone and I was the only one still in the swimming pool, I got out and looked in a mirror and my hair was flat and I had no makeup on, and then we had to go to another part of the spa for more of the contest, all of my makeup was off and my hair was undone and flat. I was late showing up to the contest they had already picked partners to dance with and I walked in and the overseer guy saw me and said go ahead you’ll be “so-and-so’s” partner and it was the main bachelor guy and he came up behind me and started to dance with me from behind and he had one hand around my waist and one hand on my left hand leading it, it was kind of hard to follow him at first, I could feel the resistance in me, he was trying to lead me but I was not letting him lead, but then I just concentrated on just letting him lead, I had to really focus on it really hard and it was so beautiful, so powerful, I just melted and flowed with his every move, totally free, totally safe, totally following his every move, perfect unison, it was more that just the movements, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever felt. He made a comment or nod to the overseer that it was really good, that I got it. And then I woke up. Ironically, I believe I’ve been set-up as all of the false positives you listed have been taken from me or are unattainable at present. Very Interesting…
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake out earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
3) It would have to be Rachel. Regardless that she was loved by Jacob, her “reality” was that God didn’t like her as well as He liked Leah, because of what she coveted the most, she didn’t have, until later that is…
1. My prominent false positive is thinness. I tend to think that if I were thinner, everything would be okay. That my friends would respect me more, that my students would look up to me more, that my family and boyfriend would love me more. It is ridiculous, but that is often the way my mind works. If I could just lose 30 pounds, my life would be so much better! I think I would have a hard time getting over that one no matter what, honestly. I am sitting here thinking to myself, “Well, you know that just isn’t true, and that you are fine the way you are, and that Jesus loves you no matter what.” But then my thoughts turn again to, “Yeah but if you were thinner, it would be easier.” I can be very honest and say that I just don’t know if that is one stronghold I am ready to give up. I don’t know if I can see myself any differently.
2. Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I think Moses resonates the most with me. I have the tendency to think that I am incapable of things, and that it would be better if someone else just went ahead and did whatever task lay ahead. I know that God has equipped me for the tasks that he desires me to do, but I keep thinking, why me?? Someone else HAS to be better at this than me. So I get Moses. I can appreciate his desire to send someone else, but I also know that God used him so powerfully, and that obedience is a marvelous thing. I plan to strive to that.
Kristy
30s (33)
Single, but in a relationship!
North East, PA (near Erie)
My most prominent false positive – my weight.
The challenge: "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."
I identify the most with Paul, when he felt the need to affirm his credentials to others. As a PW, I often feel I need to validate my position/credentials.
Delores
Shiloh, IL
50's
Married
Shellie
Moscow, Idaho
30's
Married
1. Honestly, I think I have just about every false positive you mentioned! But I think my most prominent would be that I believe that if I was some how super talented at something or had a college degree I'd be okay.
2. Is typing it directly from the book cheating? I had to look it up. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." Only one question: what if you're not sure you have an once of health, wholeness, or security?
3. As soon as I read this question, I immediately thought, Moses. Duh! That is so me! Every time I'm asked to do something or see that there is a need at my church or wherever, I think, surely there is someone better for that job than me. There has to be. I couldn't possibly do it.
Missy
33
Tulare, CA
married
1. My two most prominent false positives are Financial security (tied up with job security) and "obedient children". As many other women have commented, I loved how Beth instructed us to look at who we think is truly secure and determine what she has that we don't possess to determine our false positives! Who knew?
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our EVERY emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse EVERY FALSE POSITIVE and let our eyes spring open to the treasures we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are! (Holy Spirit come make this happen in me!!!)
3. Because everyone responding has recognized they are insecure is the ONLY reason I can write this answer. (Know that if we were face to face I would not be making eye contact with the small group leader and avoiding all chances I would have to answer this one!) So humbly, here it is…
I, like Saul the king, find myself always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from me (pg 54). I have suffered from a "Saul-like" personality my entire life. It felt like the description was written in bold capital letters straight to me revealing that my life long battle with the stronghold of worry and the incessant need to be affirmed is all tied up in insecurity. And I just thought I was high-maintanence?
Keri
30's
Married
California
1. I am a very quiet, reserved person. It's how God made me. But, when I am feeling insecure I tend to believe that if I were just a little more outgoing (like some of my closer friends) and worried less about what people thought of me, I would be truly free.
2. To allow God's truth to overtake my insecurity…to see more clearly the treasure I have and realize the treasure I am.
3. I think I understand Sarai best. I struggled with infertility and I know first hand her desperation. It's probably a good thing I didn't have a maidservant :). Somewhere mid-way through our journey God reminded me that I needed to surrender and that He would be enough no matter the outcome.