Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Jennifer 
This is unrelated to week two's assignment but wanted to say one, how thankful I am to have Beth Moore as my "cyber space mama" and two, how wonderful it is to be part of this 6,000 group of women and know that I'm not going through this process alone…I'm so encouraged by both!
Sharon,
Sycamore, GA
40's
Married
1–no brainer for me: beauty/thinness.
*i can remember various ways of trying to deal with this-ripping the tags out of my jeans as to "not be defined by a number"..and then the fact that i had done so eating a way at me like some secret that was going to be told to the masses.
*skipping multiple meals a day and working out after 3 hr practices on the ball field to make sure that stick of gum didn't add an extra eyelash of weight
*multiple attempts to go down the eating disorder road, only to be rescued by the grace of God in the form of a worship experience that woke me up, or a concerned friend knocking me upside the head with truth
2–yes mama š
TO LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE, AND COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF US INCREASINGLY OVERTAKE OUR EARTHEN VESSELS UNTIL IT DRIVES OUR EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, AND RELATIONSHIP.
3–moses. MoSES. MOSES. i have known what i was called to do for a long time and fought insecurity about it since day one. i have taken, to the glory and by the provision of God, some big steps towards that–moving across state lines and away from everything and everyone familiar to where He has called me, and giving up a large scholarship and job opportunity where everything would have been secure and easy. but the move also brought me to a town where everybody-and-their-brother is basically here for the same things that i feel called to do and be a part of–and most of them (in my insecure eyes) have done it longer, do it better, and are way more qualified. my biggest insecurities lie in my looks, and although the actual "job description" is not based on that, it does require me to be in a world of people whose "image" is very important and being in front of people is a large part of it. i have prayed that same prayer "God i know someone else can do this better than me-someone that is trained, and cute and cool, and knows how to put the words together better than i do…"– every bit of confidence i had was left at the state line. but God has continually put people in my life, and blessed me with opportunities that confirm that this is the road He wants me on. and to His undeniable, and scandalously beautiful love and credit, we are doing the thing!!!
abby lane
20s
single
nashville, tn
I am going to answer this outside the box a bit – and anonymously. Someone mentioned wanting to move their weight from their hips to their breasts. And then all the women who have insecurities about looks – so here goes.
My biggest insecurity most of my life was my looks. I was very flat-chested and got made fun of for it. There was a problem with pornography in our marriage and then on top of that I had to have some additional biopsies which left my already flat chest – deformed. So I got implants.
Here's the deal. God has healed and redeemed every single thing that was an issue from that time! – Praise to Him alone. But I still have the implants and am very insecure about what I will do when the time comes that they have to be removed/replaced. I won't pay that kind of money again and yet I fear my husband won't find me attractive anymore. I know better, but I have the fear and insecurity just the same.
Maybe I'm the only one – but maybe not.
Jennifer
Ohio
30's
married
1. I have examined the list of people who I tend to feel insecure when in their presence, (men and women) and I also read through your examples more than once to try to find a common denominator, and I am not sure if what I came up with is an accurate false positive… I think for me it may be people who appear secure in themselves – that makes me insecure. I am not sure if this is considered a false positive, though, but it is what I see as a common denominator. Their countenance reeks of security and assurance, and in their presence my insecurity mounts.
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. All of them, to some degree. Today, I'll choose Saul, because I commly battle the fear of something being taken away from me.
My false positive: If I could just find my ācomfortable knitchā in this unpredictable world, then Iāll finally have the peace and strength to make a true difference. While searching for this ācomfortable resting placeā and believing thatās all I need, Iām wrestling with insecurities of selfishness, self-doubt, untrustworthiness of God, and most of all self-sabotage when I feel Iāll never find my āplaceā in this world.
Prayer: to have an unwillingness to let my weaknesses, feelings, and fears override my faith. Reminder: Fiercest enemy in my journey here with God is me.
2. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.
3. Hagar & Sarai. Reminded me of our human nature to not wait patiently upon the Lord when we fill insecure, and instead, return to doing things āour way.ā
Bobbie
Danville, KY
70's
Single
My comments are on chapters 1 and
2. I have a 14 year old daughter (adopted) whom I have had since she was a baby. I feel very insecure in so many ways. I wonder so many things like: Am I too old to have the wisdom to guide her thru her teen years? She is a Christian and loves the Lord but there are so many issues out there that a teen has too face that I never had to face when I was a teenager. Or, I think, would she be better off with a younger "mom"? So many thoughts run thru my mind. I try to think of all the positive things I give her like attending church and all youth activities and having her in a Christain School. We pray together and play together. I just desire to raise her to be just what Jesus wants her to be.
And of course I battle with the feeling that I am so unworthy of all the blessings that God has blessed me with. And the feeling that 'who do I think I am asking God for this'.
I love the book and by His help I am going to overcome all my insecurities and I quote the 5-point pledge of the "believing God" Bible Study real often.
Thanks Beth for allowing God to minister to me thru your book.
Sister Lynn
Clyde MO
30s
Single (vowed to remain so)
1. False positive – being thin and beautiful. Which is crazy because in my head I KNOW plenty of thin beautiful people that are insecure but the enemy still taunts me with that one.
2. To allow God's truth to ecclipse every false positive and see the treasure we are in His eyes.
3.Leah… sadly because I have done some monumentally stupid things in order to try to "secure" someone's love.
I am 48 and married.
My prominent false/positive is my weight and figure. About a year ago I came under serious conviction about the food I was taking into this, my temple and resolved to eat more naturally. I radically changed life-long horrible eating habits by eliminating all white products (flour, sugar, salt, and white rice) from my diet. I am back in my size 4's and 6's – and happy about it too.
Hands down, Saul is the Bible character with whom I identify. In fact, I am in counseling to deal with a life long, deep seeded inferiority complex. I didn't go to the counselor with this knowledge initially, it has recently been revealed to me that inferiority, which goes even deeper than my insecurity is at the root of my previously unexplained depression. I've learned that depression is anger turned inward and I have years of it accumulated in this knot that my Abba is going to untangle. I can't tell you how many times I've read this blog with mixed emotions churning and battling on the inside. I now know that the envy I was feeling was part of the anger and depression. I stand on the threshold of dealing with an entrenched emotional issue that has plagued me for as many years as I can remember. Healing is coming and very soon, the healthy, utterly whole part of me will overtake this earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship. The verse that comes to mind as I ponder this challenge comes from 1 Corinthians 6:17 – But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in Spirit. Not only do I want His Spirit to permeate every fiber of my being clear down to the marrow of my bones, but I want Him to control every breath, heartbeat, thought, word, action, reaction, and relationship.
Dawn
Married in Ohio
49
Would you look at the cover of this book? How beautiful you radiate God's love Beth! YOU are darling!! Just the pricelss thought of God's perfect love being able to shine through all of us alike, is enought for any of us to grab your book off the shelf and figure out just what makes your countenance so enticing. I am honored to figure out this lie of insecurtiy right along beside you.
My pfp is probably aging. I don't mind getting older so much really,(lots of wisdom comes with age)it's just the feeling of not being able to help it. It's going to happen whether I want it to or not. Maybe I have control issues?
I just want my aging to take place …well. I don't cherishthe thought of losing the ability to think and reason, or have my health deteriorate. I want to age timelessly with grace and dignity. To be beautiful in God's glory and to radiate it through to those around me as a woman who kept herself beautiful inside and out for her Savior and BFF…..Jesus.
I guess satan gets in the way and tells me the only way to be beautiful is….fill in the blank. Insecurity IS a bad friend to me and so are all of satan's lies that go with it.
Only Jesus satisfies my every longing. Only Jesus… He alone! "So Long, Insecurity", I have found a new friend. Her name is Security and she is God's very special gift to me.
I'd been made fun of in highschool and called "Fang" because I had a freak tooth come down when I was a Sophomore. I quit smiling for years and longed for braces to "fix everything"- my first false positive! Nearly four years ago, God blessed me by allowing me braces. BUT… I then transferred all that insecurity into a new false positive thinking, "If only I was the same weight my driver's license says I am, then…."
I related to Sarai and her jealousy. I try to make things work MY way, and then I have a mess to clean up, often involving jealousy over the situation somehow.
Sasha
Bellingham, WA
30's
Married
1. My "prominent false positive" is intelligence/education.
2.The challenge is "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
Lori
40's
married
Syracuse, NY
Lacy
DFW
29
Single
My false positive right now would be friends or companions – I have never been so literally alone as I am at this point in my life. Here me again say literally…I have pushed away every friend with my insecurity, insanity, & strongholds. I'm so depressed that I can't get out of bed most days. Every sunrise & set is a I constant, nagging reminder that God & your momma are the only people that love you for who you are, but I just can't figure out why that doesn't seem like enough. When I go to the store or work when I can make it, I see people in the company of other people and think how beautiful it must be to have the support of dozens of friends.
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
I have to admit that I'm ahead on this weeks reading, because I can't stop until I get to the end and find out how to be whole for the first time in…well maybe my entire life.
Shari
Colorado
50's
Married
I saw three prominent false positives I've believed, and how damaging they have been. First, financial success — When I am around people who are a success at saving, investing, and money management, I feel terribly inseure and envious, not for the things money could buy(I have many of those), but for the wisdom and discipline they have, and the future security and peace they seem to have.
Another one would be: a great man would make me secure. I think (sadly) that I poured my life into my husband's life, trying to put everything in place to have him be successful (I believed Proverbs 31!) — to think I did so much of this because of my own insecurities. I did the same thing with my children. I was supposed to shine because of them. What horrible pressure on all of them. And me, I'm just an older, disappointed, and sometimes angry woman — all because I really didn't get it — how sad is that! On the outside we all look okay, even successful, but on the inside it just doesn't feel like that.
A third prominent false positive would be education with a degree. Self education just doesn't cut it does it?
If all these were in place I'd be respected and have something to offer at this time of my life right? And "hope deferred will make it angrier than ever." p. 39
2. The challenge
Let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion,reaction, and relationship.
3.In chapter four, I related far too much with Saul. I've not yet gotten over a couple of women from my past who I admired and despised at the same time — in-law family members.
I'll keep reading and smiling. I am glad to share so openly with you all.
I have not yet read chapters 3 & 4, but just want to thank all of the women in this discussion group. Just knowing there are so many of us out there struggling with this issue is comforting. I see things in your posts that I have thought, but didn't have the guts to write. Thanks for writing them!
Last week, when Beth posted Week 1's assignment and hundreds of women posted their answers within what seemed like seconds of her post … I immediately felt insecure… thinking… oh great, these women are all organized and have already read the book, etc. Then I thought… yep… you need to be reading this book Lisa!
This week, the moment I saw that Beth commented on two people's posts… the thought went through my head… I wonder if I would ever write something that someone would feel is worthy to comment on and again… I thought… OH MY GOSH you need this book!!! Seeing my insecurities surface and becoming aware of them is tough… actually embarrassing at times, but I know it is the first step in healing… so I am being transparent, sharing them openly with 6000+ women and believing God to change me!
Thanks for writing this book Beth, thanks for commenting ladies and thanks to my niece Kristen in Michigan… who is studying with me! Can't wait to see how God uses it to defeat this in our lives!
Lisa
Baltimore, MD
40's
Married
Nicole
20's
Married
Callaway, MN
I'm insecure just admitting this!!
My most prominent false positive:
If I can quote Sara Groves song, "Painting Pictures of Egypt" which says, "I'm caught between the promise and the things I know" that would describe my life and my lifelong battle with insecurity. I know the promise but the truth is that my dad abandoned me at a very young age and two men I loved(one is my husband) were unfaithful to me. I have a hard time accepting that God really loves me, sees me as valuable, doesn't think I'm annoying, etc…
I can relate to Saul because I too fear that everything will be taken from me. I am controlling because I don't trust anyone to take care of me.
Beth, just a question if I can be so bold; What is your prominent false positive?
I know you mentioned your "looks" issue but you tied that primarily with your husband. I'm just wondering what your main insecurity issue is.
Maybe I missed it somewhere and I hope it doesn't offend you that I ask.
Thanks
Lawan
50s, Married
Lawton, OK
1. My body. If I were thin I would not be insecure! However I know this to be untrue because I lost over 100 pounds and still complained about my body!
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. AMEN!
3. I can identify with Sarai. Not because I have done what she did but because she was controlling and manipulative and so am I. I hope not much anymore as God has worked on me for years! We both have tried to get what we wanted our way instead of waiting on God.
Thanks for encouraging us to relate to these folks, learning to understand and heal in the process. Loving the book.
Happily Married Thirty-Something
1) My false positive would be the desire for affirmation. Growing up I had a terrible relationship with my dad. He told me when I was in college, he'd made a decision when I was very young not to have anything to do with me or my sister, other than providing for us financially. He was there physically (still married today to my mom) but the only emotion he showed was anger. God has faithfully brought healing to me and to our relationship. However, I still deal with feeling like I'm not enough when I don't receive affirmation. It doesn't define me, but it definitely can bring me down at times, when I don't take Him at His Word about who He created me to be, His precious daughter.
2) " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3) Moses – not believing I have the ability to do what God has created, called and gifted me to do as His child, all the while knowing that it's Him who does it through us, in His strength. Silly me!)
Thanks, Beth. You've brought so much needed truth into my life over the last 10 years. So grateful to you for the hope that you share!
Beth, your post really tickled me. I was thinking … I must be way more secure than I thought. We (me and my two girls)were so excited when we found your book in the LifeWay store. I didn't care who saw me. I grabbed the book, and we walked through the store to see what else we might need. I was thinking how it didn't bother me one bit to place it on the counter and let the man check our our purchase. Then I remembered my 9 year old, Katelyn, carried it through the store for me!! Hee, hee! Upon her request, of course!!
Amy
Washington D.C.
20s
Single
BETH! BETH, BETH, BETH…I'm going to be commenting later on the chapters, but I HAVE to say this to you now. I couldn't even get through the first part of your post without clicking on the comment section. While the two women you mentioned hid the title of the book it made me think of when I bought the book at a bookstore on Tuesday. I couldn't find it so I had to ask the employee where it was (and it was a guy no less!*hint of my second false positive*Lol). He showed me where it was and I couldn't grab it from his hands fast enough. With a huge smile on my face he just laughed and said, "Wow! You really wanted this book!" I said, "You have no idea how long I've waited for it!" I wanted to cry right then and there. I didn't hear about your book until last week so when I said he didn't know how long I've waited he didn't know I was talking in terms of years. I wasn't ashamed to take it to the counter (and by no means am I putting down the ladies you mentioned)…I was anxious! The moment the woman cashier saw it she was intriged. She said, "So Long Insecurity…I need this." From then I got into a five minute discussion about you and the study online. The more we talked the more she got interested and encouraged. I found myself encouraging her to get it, go online, and sign up. I walked away excited and she waved goodbye with a smile on her face. I hadn't even opened the book and God's presence was already starting the consuming process. I'm so excited and grateful for the words that the Holy Spirit filters through your hands and onto paper. I love you, sister. – Amy
Robin Filbeck
Irving, TX
40's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive – a good name/reputation, coming from a family that everyone knows/respects…I never realized that was a false positive of mine until Beth asked on page 37 "What do you tend to associate most with security? Think of a person you believe to be secure and determine what earthly thing he/she has…" For the most part, I am a bit more balanced about that now, but at my most insecure point in life, in college, I tended to think that the girls who came from prominent families, whose name went back generations, must have had it all, what in the world could they possibly be insecure about, right? I love, now, knowing that we are all part of God's prominent family and I can rest in His strong name!
2. His strength is made perfect in our weakness, His truth eclipses our false positive…I just LOVE that picture, so awesome!!!!!
3. Oh, boy…can I relate to Rachel! I've always wondered how in the world Laben could have been so thoughtless to put both his girls in such difficult positions, really?! Sister relations can be so strained when living in close quarters, but I have to believe in my heart of hearts, we didn't get the whole story and maybe, just maybe, in their strained, love/hate relationship, they shared some good times in those tents, too! I can't wait to hug sweet Rachel's neck and share a good cry with her! I'm sure my dear older sister will be lovin on Leah around the same campfire! I gotta add, though, our hubbies are surefire happy that they only have to take on one of us and neither has the burden of both of us, lol!!!! Gotta love our men, they sure love us!
Oops, just realized I posted my last name and everyone else is posting just first names, how's that for my prominent false positive coming out, how embarrassing!
Robin
Texas
40's
married
Patty
Colorado Springs, CO
50's
married
Oh, Beth, I have to say that I, too, see if I can get my husband to "volunteer the information" I so want to hear. And I also struglle with self-condemnation, big-time, with the background of abuse that I've had.
1. At first I was going to say the approval of my husband (in everything), but I realize that is really my second choice. My #1 false positive is measuring up to my own unattainable standards and expectations.
2. I know my challenge is to believe who I am in Christ. But not only that, it is to know deep in every part of my being, that God chose me, He created me and loves me beyond my understanding. My Father God is my world and my hope–and on Him only can I find my true security.
3. I can relate to the statement about Paul that said: "the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself". I know I hold myself back from fulfilling my destiny by believing the lies of the past and my own unattainable expectations. I am beginning the process of learning who I truly am and who I can be.
Tricia
married
50's
Palmdale,CA
week one answers
At work in the veterinary field, which is predominantly female; many of the young women felt they needed to alter thier beauty by having plastic surgery. These women were by no means plain as it were. They were having nose jobs and breast enlargements and I thought that was very sad.
The definition that stood out the most for me was if someone is angry with you do you have a hard time with obsessing about it. Since I was a child I wanted to please others. If they become angry with me I feel I've disappointed them and it drives me crazy. I apoligize and try very hard to get back in thier good graces.
My false positive is definitely a desire for success. I have always been quite the perfectionist, and it's worked well for me in general. But I know it isn't healthy to depend so much on ME getting everything right. I'm applying to medical school this summer, and it feels like if I can just get to being a doctor (what I really truly feel God has called me to do) then I'll feel fulfilled. But I know once I get there, I'll still have my struggles,etc. I have to remind myself daily to find fulfillment in God, not in my accomplishments. And to remind myself that every accomplishment is truly God's, because I live and work and grow only by His grace! But it is definitely a daily wrestle with my desire to create my own self worth…but with God's help, I'm getting there!
Victoria
Reidsville, NC
60
Married
Frist i want to say I GOT MY BOOK at a little book store my husbands cousions store , till me ANT GOD GOOD.
ok i may be lte but the last time i faced inscurtey was when i had to do a progream yep it truned out great
I am not sudre about this one but i am inscrue about myself i guess, all so bout money because of something .do i need to answer more now
Jennifer
Warner Robins GA
late 20's
happily married
1. "Prominent False Positive" Spiritual perfectionism, experience and wisdom
2.the challenge – to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, relationship!
3. biblical figure from chap 4: Mamabeth, I have always always loved studying the names of Leah's children- it cracks me up that the Bible does include some insecure, imperfect people…to be memorialized in such a way in print for the world to wonder at your mess-ups, to have your lineage carry the burden of your self-doubting and self-loathing… yet the goodness of God allowing Leah to realize, at her final child…"this time I will praise the Lord!" (Gen. 29:35) If we compare her choices in name meanings as to our choice in attitude, I see this comparison: the NET version says "and she stopped having children." When she got the attitude right, she ceased the action that she thought for surely would keep her man around and just yielded to God. I believe the day she said "this time I will praise the Lord!" was the day Leah finally decided to trust! Love it!
Marion
Round Hill, VA
40's/Married
Today I took my daughter to her guitar class and sat in their waiting room happily reading chapter 3. How inspiring…women…beautiful women and those who appear to have it all struggle with insecurity too. Wow. So I was feeling encouraged that is until after class. I walked out to my car and to my surprise my mom was outside sitting in her car waiting to say hello. She was looking at me funny and then said, "Are you using any cream around your eyes? I never noticed the lines you have like I do now. We need to go and get you a good eye cream."
I wasn't ready to lean a lesson about insecurity quite so fast. So I have 2 choices. Wonder the rest of my day if everyone else notices my "aging face" or hurry up and read chapter 4 and get on with this thing!
Christine
Cornelius, NC
40s
Married
False Positive – weight without a doubt. I can tell you in any picture that's ever been taken of me what size I was and my weight within 3 lbs. Not a day of my life goes by without thinking about what my weight is. My father truly dislikes fat people, my 1st husband would get mad at me for gaining too much weight. And I admit, those days I did use it to a bit of control, I'll show them attitude.
After I got divorced, I dated a man who said he'd marry me when I was a size 2. And you know, I did it. And I thought it was OK that he requested that of me. I thought that little of myself to literally starve myself days on end. Of course, I was so deep in sin then that I couldn't even recognize that was just Satan playing with my head. Praise God for not letting that relationship work out, but I do pray for his new wife frequently!
It's still always in my mind, but from a physically healthier aspect or so I thought, because now it's my love of desserts at church on Wednesday nights, and if my new sweet love of my life husband will like whatever I'm making. And he doesn't judge me. But then again, I'm not very happy in these extra pounds either.
And then last night we watched the last video on Living Beyond Yourself, self control. Whoa, God was working through you straight over that screen to me!! I felt like those words were just made for me to hear. I had never thought of that stuff being an idol before. But it's true, I've given so much more thought on a daily basis to my weight/diet/size than I've ever given to God! I had never even gone there before. I had never thought that this would grieve him. And so that's done, gonna eat healthy stuff and exercise and move on. No more making it the idol of my life, no more letting Satan win on this one. I'm made in the image of God and the enemy is not welcome here!
Thank you Beth for your ministry, and for allowing God to speak to us through you.
The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship!"
I guess I identify most with Moses. He did not feel worthy for what God was entrusting in him, many times questioned should it really be him? Choose someone else. Not me. I'm not _____ enough, whatever it might be.
1)I think that beauty/financial security is my prominent false positive
2)Chapter 3 challenge:
"In Him is no Darkness at all.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow Gods truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And thebeauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. (Psalm 90:17)
3)I think that I can most relate to Sarai and Hagar-no being able to give someone what they want and also Rachel and Leah thinking God doesnt like you enough to give you what someone else has.
I enjoy reading everyones responses. They are so refreshing and eye-opening for me, that we all have so much in common. I cant wait to read more of this book!!
Jeanine
Athens, NY
45 and married
1) I guess my "prominent false positive" would have to do with ministry. Surrendered to full-time ministry when I was a teen. So, some 30 years later, although there have been opportunities to serve here and there, the real dream has never been fulfilled. The confusion of feeling called and yet never "getting there" is brutal. More insecurites grow from there. What's wrong with me? Am I too old, too short, not attractive enough, not smart enough, is my faith too weak, etc… On and on it goes.
2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3) Paul – "He (She) was a complex mound of clay just like the rest of us, belittling and boasting in himself (herself) in a dizzying pyschological zigzag… Like us, the fiercest enemy he (she) had to fight in the fulfillment of his (her) destiny was himself (herself). To Paul (Jeanine), the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of himself (herself) that would deny, destroy, or distract fromt the great work of God in him (her)."
Betty
Salt Lake City, UT
60
Married
1) My false positive is the good opinion of others. Sometimes it's hard to let go of wondering over and over what I may have done wrong. It can be challenging to balance the task of sorting through the lies and at the same time being willing to own my own stuff.
2) The challenge for me is to prioritize with energy and focus the things that will fill me with His Spirit. As Beth points out, "Jesus is not unhealthy" and as He increasingly fills me and enlivens me , every lie will be broken and "God's truth will eclipse every false positive." In so doing, how humbling and at the same time empowering to have "the beauty of the Lord my God" upon me.
3) Hagar stands out for me. She endured such great injustice, completely alone and shut off from earthly security. She found comfort in God's provision and said yes to it instead of pitying herself for what appeared to be second best.
Prominent False positive for a long time has been "if only I was married, I would be more secure, it would mean i was worth it." That praise God is slowly starting to change but it still trips me up!
2. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. We will allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. Sarai. I always fear that if I don't get what i think will make me feel secure I will go out and make my own way like Sarai did.
Corrie
29, Single
Colorado
Betty
Salt Lake City, UT
60
I was so encouraged by what "Little Steps of Faith" said. How great to understand some of these things at 29. I really identified with your comment about feeling left out rather than jealous. You hit the nail on the head. That feeling of being left out can reinforce the lie that I was left out, because I wasn't good enough. Thanks for sharing!
Dionna
late 30's
married
Boise, ID
1. I was trying to figure out my most prominent false positive. It's hard because one doesn't shout out at me but a little bit of several of them do resonate. Probably popularity if I had to pick one I resonated with most. Maybe that's why I battle with being a "pleaser" because I hate it when I'm not liked. (But I'm working on it:))
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Bible Character? Probably Leah & Rachel. Rachel because I know I am loved "the most" by my husband but Leah because I was chosen 2nd. My husband was married before. And the loss of my own dreams and hurts from the "1st" in the process have been like a constant shadow in my heart.
Jennifer
McKinney, Texas
30's
Married
1). My false positive is definitey that the more money I have the more people will like and accept me.
2).To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reation, and relationship.
3).Sarai and Hagar only because, I can see myself going against what I really want to make someone else happy so there won't be conflict. Then, when I don't get the feelings or results I thought their happiness would bring I blame them. So disfunctional š
Thanks for this book Beth, it's life changing. The prayers are amazing!!
Prominent False Positive: That if I were married, I would be happy.
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17, NKJV).
3) Oh, how I relate to Rachel. How many times have I manipulated to get a man, and guess what, once I got him, I didn't want him!
Michele
Racine, WI
40's
Single
I have been reading through the posts and wonder, Beth, if you are noticing that half of us wrote "…until it drives OUT every emotion…" and the other half wrote "…until it drives OUR every emotion…" – does this say something else about our insecurities, or just our reading/copying abilities?
Dawnn
Married
42
Fort Washington, MD
My false positve is the financial security. I so identify and have experienced much of what is being discussed in teh book; the insecurities having driven me to take care of myself, however, when I lost my job over 2 years ago…that was a shaking to the core. God has done a tremendous job with teaching me that He is the only source and a job is coming soon but I don't want to get back into a false positive again! Thank God for this teaching.
I mostly identified with Leah. Never feeling good enough and always thinking that it is something that I can produce to get the approval or attention from people.
Interesting observation, Kerrylaine!
Nicci
Waterloo, Belgium
34
Married
1. My weight/size has always been my prominent false positive. When I was younger I wanted to weigh more as I was made fun of for being too thin. Now I worry that I have gotten too big because I'm not the "tiny one" anymore. I have a very skewed vision of myself in my mind.
Also in the last few years, financial security has become a false positive for me. We were in debt for living above our means and have pulled our way out of it. I thought it would make me feel so much better than it did. I still feel very unsure and uneasy about our financial life.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I identified with the feelings of jealousy and seeing others as a threat. Saul, Hagar and Sarai.
I find that these feelings of jealousy and seeing others as a threat come from my baggage when I was younger. I had some very unhealthy relationships with both girl friends and boyfriends. I have been blessed beyond belief with a healthy marriage and a husband so different from anyone I ever dated, but in friendships with women I still struggle.
Megan
age: 17
single
Riverside, Illinois
1. My prominent false positive is my grades. People look at my and think, "Oh, she's smart she's fine," but that's not really the same thing.
2. The challenge in chapter 3 is,
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. The woman at the well in John 4 resonated with me the most. She has for a long time, only because I first had a connection to that story when the church Drama Improv team I had JUST joined was asked to perform a dramatic reading of that passage for our Youth group. I was asked to read for her, because I'm the only improv girl on the team. Having just gotten out of a relationship where I compromised some of my morals for security, I was very emotional in finding out how much I could relate to the woman at the well, and how much I wanted the living water Jesus was offering instead.
1) Wow, Iāve never thought about everyone having their own āfalse positivesā but it is so true! I think that mine would probably be relationships/marriages because marriage is something that I want and have not experienced yet. I guess I assume that they have someone that will be there for them, when it reality it may not always be the case. I liked what pinkmommy said about āhaving a great man would make me secureā and Michele āIf I were married, I would be happy.ā I totally understand where you are coming from!! Letās hope God can help us through this insecurity!
2) Let God open our eyes to the treasure we have and the treasure we are in Christ!!
3) I can relate to Moses. I know God is performing a huge work in my life but sometimes I feel so inadequate! I know that God chose me and I donāt want to let him down but it is definitely a struggle. My main insecurity is speaking in large groups. Recently I gave my testimony in church and asked my Sunday school sistas to pray for me that I donāt have sweat rings while I am testifying!! How crazy is it that I have to add sweat rings to my prayers!! If Moses can get through it, so can I!! I just have to rely on God more!
Heather F/Beaumont, TX/29/Single
As shallow as it sounds in my own mind as I type this, my answer to question 1 is having a great physical appearance – especially being thin! As crazy as it seems, I have truly believed that if I was completely satisfied with my physical appearance all of the other problems wouldn't matter so much any more! That I would then be a happy and content person. Period.
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship." "Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and open our eyes to the treasure we have."
Saul: People that I admire make me feel threatened and insecure. I'm jealous of people that I admire or have qualities that I admire. I want to be proud of and happy for these people – and I am to a certain degree; however, there is this tinge, deep down somewhere inside me, that is disgruntled by the fact that they have achieved or obtained something I wanted/still want.
Jami
30s
Married
Insecurity #1- my preordered book has still not arrived! I hope it comes soon because #2 – I just had a passport photo taken – need I say more?
Cassie,27
married in Bishop,Ca
1)My most prominent false positive would be to be "Perfect" then I would have no flaws on my body, I'd be popular(able to get along with all different personalities)a wife who doesn't get jealous of other spouses who are really active in the church…
2)To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
3)Well that would definetly have to be Moses because the perfectionist that I aim to be, feels that I am never good enough and thinking God could find someone a whole lot better for the job.
Mandy,40s married Rocky Point NC
My promininet false positive at this time would be financial security.Presently I am the main breadwinner,my husband is not able to work d/t dx MS and my daughter,her husband and their 2 year old son are liveng with us until they get on their feet,plus our college aged son.As a child my dad was not able to work alot d/t emotional issues and my mom was the main breadwinner.I don't remember as a child worrying about money but I sure do it now.
The Biblical figure I most resonated with is Paul.I love the fact that with God's help he did not let his weaknesses,feelings or fears override his faith. That is where I want to stand.I am going to be praying regularly the challenge in chapter 2-Thanks Beth!
This addresses the first weeks questions. I identify with most with the fear of rejection. I have imaginary conversations in my head and will convince myself I will not be accepted. Due to that thinking I do not pursue close friendships and talk myself out of new opportunities such as leading a women's study at church. The thought "I can't do that" feels like it is permanently with me. Sandra in Asheville, NC
Love this book! I think it's interesting the discussion regarding the cover and your picture cause I have to honestly say if someone asked me what the cover looked liked….I wouldn't know. Kinda like when the ladies I was in the David study would mention your hair…I was like what? What are you talking about? Who cares about her hair…listen to that teaching coming out of her mouth! Sorry, that's just me.
1. Prominent False Positive…I would have to say family or sense of it. I grew up in a crazy abusive family and I longed for a 'normal' one growing up. Also felt like I had was somehow less because my family was different than most. Mental illness is not easily explained or accepted.
As an adult I just then let insecurity gnaw at me that somehow I was going to be lacking as a wife and mother because of how I was raised.
On page 36 it says… "Security in any earthly thing simply cannot be sustained." I so understand this.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthern vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. woman at the well.
Waving a red flag with the letters i-n-s-e-c-u-r-i-t-y…definitely.
But I do love that she knew or thought she was a social outcast in His eyes but at the well He spoke to her, reached out to her in compassion. Beautiful!
Michelle
Woodstock, Vermont
40's
married
just a Word of encouragement as we head straight-on into this battlefield for our security… "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds." (2 Cor 10:4)
i read this morning in my time with God, and i was struck with the amazing POWER we have in our hands– the weapons with which we will fight this battle have DIVINE power to DEMOLISH STRONGHOLDS!
amen! let's go into the battle with the power of Christ in our hands… He will be victorious!! š