So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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Comments:

  1. 851
    Anonymous says:

    Shirleen
    Greenville, SC
    50's
    married

    1. PFP-personality. More outgoing=more friends, or so I think. I think I am getting more comfortable in my own skin, and the way God made me, but sometimes I really wish I was more bubbly and outgoing.
    2. My challenge-to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have; there in His glorious reflection I'll see the treasure I am.
    3. I relate to Saul, and his battle with unhealthy emotions. Like Saul, jealousy pops up it's ugly head when I feel I am being replaced in the affections of others. Then I try even harder, or outdo so I can remain at the "top" of the list. Yikes!!! What an eye-opener this book is!!!

  2. 852
    Womack says:

    Kelly
    30s
    Married
    Fort Smith,AR

    My false positive is most likely position. I am a stay at home Mom with a Master's degree. I tend to think I'm not doing enough because I stay at home, and I know that's not right.

    The challenge "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    I think I most identified with Moses because I may think I'm not equipped to do something God asks, when I know good and well that I am!

  3. 853
    Get Behind Me Insecurity! says:

    Jan
    Villa Rica, GA
    40s
    Married

    PFP-Financial Success-All of my many insecurities can be summed up in this one. With financial success I can take care of appearance (lipo, tummy tuck, getting my hair done often enough that no one ever sees a gray hair! Wardrobe to die for!),status (a large beautiful home with all of the luxuries, the perfect car)acceptance.

    Challenge-To let the security I have in Christ ALONE consume me completely and overrule any insecurity-I am made perfect in HIM!

    Most resonating Biblical figure/statement-Paul not feeling he was as good as others. As the wife of a pastor it is hard to live up to the expectations others have of the "position". I constantly feel inadequate, like I do not measure up to other women leaders in our church(my own issue, not one anyone has placed on me!)

  4. 854
    Kimberly says:

    Kimberly
    Pleasant View, TN
    30's
    Married

    1) Pinpointing a prominent false positive for me has been very difficult. I have spent my entire life just trying to achieve perfection. Isn't being perfect the only way to be secure? After all, if you are not perfect, that still leaves something in your life to be insecure about, right? I think that in looking at other people I tend to place most of my perception on looks, but only with the right personality. Anyone beautiful woman with incredible fashion sense and a bubbly personality surely has it all. After all, they have beauty and popularity. They must also have financial security to be dressed so cutely, which usually means job security, which usually means credentials, power, and prestige. But since I have had these things and am still insecure, I know in my head that is not actually what makes you secure. For myself, I don't think I would have to have any of these things if my relationship was more secure. I find myself very jealous of other women who seem to have such great marriages, so easily. I have a wonderful husband, but I base a lot of my worth on his affirmation and the security of his love. God has a lot of work to do on our relationship, so that part of me remains lacking. I know when I can allow God to be my security that in itself will most likely fix many of our issues. And Lord knows that I pray my husband can find the security he doesn't even know he is missing to allow the gap between us to narrow even further. Ultimately, I think the one I place the most importance on could change over time according to what my life happens to be lacking at the time, thinking "if I only had (insert what I am currently lacking) then I would be secure."
    2) Our challenge is to allow God's light to shine so brightly that all false positives are eclipsed, all darkness is gone, and we emanate security as we let our "little light" of God shine on all He has truly created us to be. "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine."
    3) I would have to say of all the characters mentioned, I most closely relate to Saul. "Insecurity's expertise is hiding its victim in some baggage." I would be quite content to stay hidden among the baggage, out of the spotlight, and only listen to what is happening around me. Also, "insecurity lives in constant terror of loss." Enough said on that one. I also relate to the love/hate relationship of jealousy. Only I tend to never hate any person for what they have, just self-loathe that I do not also have it, because naturally it must be my fault that I am not good enough or haven't done something well enough to have it.

  5. 855
    Get Behind Me Insecurity! says:

    Beth-
    THANK YOU so much for this study and all that you do to minister to us gals! Looking forward to seeing you in Woodstock, GA! You are blessed and highly favored!

  6. 856
    Lisa says:

    Lisa
    Iowa
    30's
    Married

    My most prominent false positive is…my physical appearance (always think that I could look better), not confident in who I am. I love my life, I am a positive person and others don't know or wouldn't assume that I would not have self-confidence…I am working on it. My husband and I have been married for 16 years. He compliments me all of the time, I just need to let his words sink in. I never got uplifted growing up so I tend to not know how to receive them.

    Our challenge:To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure WE are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.

    Mose: I also don't think that I have the right words to share, I am not good at speaking in front of people…will I say the right thing?

    I am loving this study…I know that I am perfectly and wonderfully made just as my Heavenly Father had planned. He makes no mistake…in Him I lay my trust!

  7. 857
    Julie says:

    Julie
    Central, IL
    40's
    Married

    Dear Beth, your studies are getting me through a rough time with one of my children. The child exasperates me daily . . . which brings me to my Prominent False Positive. If ONLY this child would obey LIFE would be perfect. Well, except for . . . If ONLY I could be thin my life would be perfect. Well, except for . . . If ONLY I had more patience my life would be perfect. Then there is the IF ONLY I were more spiritual . . . I have realized through this study that I have more than ONE False Positive and they are ALL PROMINENT! I never, never, never share these thoughts with anyone, but here I feel secure in sharing.

    The challenge: Allow God's truth to wipe out every insecurity and overtake our entire being.

    Who do I indentify most with? Wow . . . All of them. I find a bit of myself in each of them.

  8. 858
    Deidre says:

    Deidre
    39
    Hickory, NC
    Married

    1) False positive: education/college degree

    2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."

    3)The apostle Paul … dizzying pshychological zigzag … good grief. Am I that? I must be that! ugh!

  9. 859
    Anonymous says:

    My prominent false positive is the seven vanity pounds that say if I lose them all will be well in my life.

    My challenge is to see the truth about those vanity pounds. They are not the ticket to security, Jesus is!

    Paul-I never saw him stating his credentials as insecurity. This is something I've done before and can see insecurity driving those statements although I did not see it at the time. It is super easy to want others to know of past accomplishments instead of trusting in my God-given abilities as applicabe to whatever current situation/activity I find myself in. God will reveal what He wants known about me to those I serve with. From now on I will leave that job to Him!

    Betsy
    Port Charlotte, FL
    40's
    married

  10. 860
    Anonymous says:

    My most prominent false positive is this great man that I do have would make me secure! Anybody relate?I loved it when you said about Keith that "he's the person whose attraction you crave and to whose occasional bouts of disinterest you cave." I so relate-I think as we are aging (in the marriage relationship) it would be helpful to remember that our men are having their issues too!

    2.When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes be open to the treasure we have and are in Christ.

    3.I most relate to Leah/Rachel-it is a comparison trap of the enemy that has been a huge snare for me! I can so relate to when you said "nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure." I have experienced this over and over in my life-hey, but now I can give voice to it and call it what it is -INSECURITY! A VERY BAD FRIEND!or as my son would say a "FRENEMY"Roxie
    Blackstone,VA
    50's
    Happily married

  11. 861
    Juliana says:

    Juliana
    Almost 40
    Single
    Livermore, CA

    My prominent false positives are – Being married would make me feel secure. I wouldnโ€™t have to make life decisions all by myself; and being Financially Secure would make me happier.

    The Challenge:
    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Allow Godโ€™s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection weโ€™ll also see the treasure we are.

    I identify with Sarai because itโ€™s in our nature to want to manipulate and control our lives instead of waiting on God, and then once we โ€œcontrolโ€ our lives we so regret not waiting on God.

  12. 862
    Katherine says:

    Katherine
    20s
    married
    DFW
    1. Prominent false positiveโ€ฆI think approval. I donโ€™t need everyone to approve, (in fact, Iโ€™ll admit, I get some satisfaction out of certain people DIS-approving), but I crave approval from people that I love and respect. Occupationally, physically, mentally, spirituallyโ€ฆif I could just meet all of the expectations. The funny thing is I know that most of those expectations donโ€™t really exist. I have made them up in my insecure, perfectionist, ridiculous mind.
    2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
    3. I think I relate most to Saul. Partially because I really am a head taller than everyone else, or at least most women. (Note to short women: Those of you who think that IF you were tall, THEN youโ€™d be secureโ€ฆyou wouldnโ€™t. Itโ€™s just as scary up here as it is down there). But I also relate to Saul because I feel like he had a lot going for him but he panicked anyway. Everyone could see he was capable but him, so he hid. I tend to want to hide to avoid failing, too.

  13. 863
    Sarah says:

    Sarah
    British Columbia, Canada
    Very early 40's
    Married

    My most prominent False positive — being overweight and my husband not being attracted to me anymore. I have been losing weight and sticking to it so that makes me feel good.
    The challenge at the end of the chapter is " In Christ there is no darkness, His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. When we allow God's truth it opens our eyes to what treasures we have been given and then we can see through Christ's reflection who we are. That is so beautiful………..
    I related to a lot of the characters so hard to just pick one.
    I love this book so much and drag it everywhere I go and leave the cover on, it is a good opening to tell people about the book.

  14. 864
    kctibs says:

    Kelli
    Colorado
    40
    Married

    #1 – Prominent False Positive – Mine changes with whatever my current season happens to be. Right now I would say MONEY! I have been catching myself saying "if we only had $xxxxxx we would be fine!" Coming to the realization that being debt free is what we as a family need to focus not just getting money or making more money or getting a job…etc, etc. God wants me to be a mom, wife and FINANCIALLY sound spender.

    #2 – Our Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    #3 – From the Biblical figures in Chapter 4 – Sarai and Hagar. On page 47 you write – 'Nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants.'….page 48 'We naturally depise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largely threatened by them.'
    I go back to the fact that my husband had an emotional affair with someone 7 years ago. Now, in my present life, there is a woman in our town who (in my humble opinion) likes my husband in an inappropriate manner. She calls him on his cell phone, sets by him at meetings they jointly attend, makes off color comments about their 'relationship' and it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! I feel a great amount of dislike for her all the time and it affects our relationship. I just can't get my hubby to understand where I am coming from without seeming childish. (Back to last weeks answers about not feeling worthy of having the feeling!! Crazy ~ NO)

    Thanks for the eye-opening book about insecurity and it lurking around our hearts/brains waiting to pounce!

    Blessings
    Kelli in Colorado

  15. 865
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah
    Burlington, KY
    30's
    Married

    1. My most prominent false positive is that if I could lose those 10-15 pounds then I would be happy and those that don't have have extra weight must be secure in who they are. Just today, I was checking out (a better description might be closely examining and critiquing) my cellulite on the back of my legs and it about sent me into a panic attack. What a crock!

    2.Our challege is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthern vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. (and a side note to let you know of my insecurity, I went and read other comments to make sure that I wrote the right answer to the challenge…I am such a dork!)

    3. The statement about Paul is what God really impressed on my heart. You wrote on p.57, "the beauty of Paul wasn't his superhumanity but his unwillingness to let his weakness, feelings, and fears override his faith….To Paul, the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of himself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the great work of God in him."

    I want that to be how God redeems my insecurities: living that same crucified life so that God can use me for the plans that He created me for.

  16. 866
    Drawing Closer says:

    To my surprise, the Lord revealed to me that my most prominent "FP" is NEGATIVE. Being overweight has given me a measure of security in many, many areas…
    I'm so ready to allow God's truth to drive my every emotion, reaction and relationship, and overshadow every false positive messing with my mind.
    The characters I most related with have to be Sarai and Hagar. The statement that we "naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share IF we feel largely threatened by them" resonated on many levels, for reasons I prefer not to share at this time.
    Barbara
    60's, married, Spruce Pine, NC

  17. 867
    Anonymous says:

    Anne
    50's
    married
    SC

    My false positive would be feeling comfortable in a group where the others are much closer friends.God has definitely done a major work on me in this area, but I am not where I need to be. It is probably due to envying them of close friendships that I do not have at this season in my life.

    I relate most to Moses, feeling that I don't have talents to be of use to God. I,in essence,am not trusting Him to equip me which I know in my head knowledge He would and can do.

  18. 868
    Julie B. says:

    Oh my goodness! I laughed out loud, by myself, as I read these chapters. I think my dog is worried about me! I recognized myself so vividly on each page. The curtain was pulled back and I could see clearly my craziness out there as if parading around neked for all to see. I just kept thinking good grief, Julie, she's talking about you! What a mess I am!!!! Thanks for pointing out our need for healing from this crazy thinking! I look ahead with anticipation to closing the pages of this book a SECURE woman, free to be me!!!!

    Julie
    Wentzville, MO
    Newly 40
    Married

    Okay…questions…
    1) I wrote in my book "skinniness" that's what will make me secure. If I can just look cute in a pair of jeans! That's all I'm asking! I'm sure then my man won't have his eye captured by those beautiful women that challenge me everyday. (not that he's looking, but I am sure fearful he will after seeing me)

    2) The challenge…to let JESUS, The ONE AND ONLY, the only healthy, whole, and completely secure part of me overtake – consume me – until HE drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3) Moses – I relate to that feeling of "perhaps on this one you are wrong, God – I can't do that, I can't speak for you, I can't, I can't, I can't. Pretty common words in my heart even if never spoken out loud.

  19. 869
    Val in KY says:

    Valerie
    Louisville, KY
    40's – Married

    OK – in my home officelistening to Travis Cottrell's CD "Jesus Saves LIVE" and it came to track 12 "Victory in Jesus" and I just had to stop to do a "worship dance". There is victory in JESUS, right?!? That's what I'm hoping to come out of this with.

    #1 – False Positive: to be 15lbs. lighter, everything else will fall into place, right? It seems to be a common one although I feel lonely in this sometimes and as if no one would understand. Some people even ask me if I've lost weight. I want to scream "ARE YOU CRAZY?" My normal response is "No. I hide it well" Then I feel like such a fraud.

    #2 – The challenge: To allow God's truth to eclipse my false positives. In Christ there is wholeness and healing.

    #3 – I would have to say Moses. I have a frequent feeling that I am not qualified.

    Closing out with track #14 In Christ Alone…and as HE stands in victory, sin's curse has lost its grip on me..for I am His and HE is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ…hallelujah!

  20. 870
    linde says:

    linde
    dallas
    20s
    married

    financial success would make me secure

    Lord, allow me "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship." I believe You will accomplish Your will in me, Lord!

    Moses-"Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies because of their own insecurities"

    also relate to the thought of a threat/feeling threatened tapping directly into insecurity

  21. 871
    Anonymous says:

    Kathleen St. joseph, MI 40's married I too took the cover off my book but not because of the title. I want to keep it in good condition because Beth signed the cover. This is my first blog ever and i can't spell or write fancy. ( I thank God every day for spell ck.)
    so here goes…… My prominent false positive is if I would have had a Mother that loved me while I was growing up I would not have so many insecurities. A mothers love can go a long way in either direction. To this day I call her and always think that maybe she will show some glimmer of love toward me and some days she does but most times not. I just keep calling and keep loving her and maybe one day i will understand her. until then I just do as asked by God. Be a ray of sunshine in her dark world. In him is no darkness at all. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Moses is who I can really relate to. because I have never felt like I could do one thing right. I never feel smart enough, talented enough, brave, pretty, stylish, ect… Why would you ever pick me as a team mate, friend, or any thing else but through God and his love I have been able to knock most of this junk down. But …. every now and then I gets the best of me and there is my ever faithful God and super hubby to put it in it's proper place. Out of my mind and back into the trash can. Praise God.

  22. 872
    HulaHeart says:

    Paula
    Brownwood, Tx
    40s
    Married

    1. My false positive (for this week) is social ease. It seems people like them, and want to be friends with them. ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17, NKJV).

    3. I resonated with Eve, or my current ideas about her initial encounters with the deceiver. ๐Ÿ™‚ It's a search for something more, a fear of being left out, of not knowing, of not having it all.

  23. 873
    Nesha says:

    1) My most prominent false positive is the thinking that if I have the security of husband, kids, home, etc that I would be more secure of my role in life but that doesn't help in being secure IN and WITH myself.
    2)'To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.' This is on an index card and taped to my mirror.
    3)Moses: He is a perfect example of what I do say, 'Anybody else would be better!' I tend to and like to work in the background. I need to believe that His strength is ever present, even in me to do whatever task is asked of me.

    Nesha
    30's
    Married
    Mechanicsville, VA

  24. 874
    Nesha says:

    Sorry about posting so late on Week 1 and Week 2. I was watching my mailbox like crazy when I realized the book was 'late' for the blog posts. There were/are so many things going on right now, even my husband made a comment about how the enemy is really hitting hard.
    – book late
    – pre-teen issues
    – youth group trouble
    – dear friend died, age 37
    – computer crashes, twice
    – medication change, me
    – insurance trouble
    – stress on marriage
    – sickness, husband
    = very tired people
    I have my memory scripture cards posted everywhere through out the house!

  25. 875
    Karen says:

    Karen
    44
    married

    1. My most prominent false positive is body weight. Of course if my children behave perfectly, if my husband perfectly shows his love for me and my house looks like it jumped out of a magazine, well that would give me a warm, fuzzy false positive too…

    2. " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."

    3. I think Rachel and Leah. Not so much relating to warring over their husband as I have a wonderful, loving husband but I can relate to that feeling of never quite being "enough".

  26. 876
    pippasmum says:

    Sarah
    Ontario, Canada
    30's
    Married
    Beth, I can't thank you enough for this book. I have struggled with this for years and as a Christian, I feel such guilt because I KNOW that the only opinion that matters is God's and yet, I keep getting sucked back into this stronghold. Thank you!

    My most prominent false positive is definitely appearance in all forms – if I can arrange it so that people look at me and I look like I've got it together, then I feel so much more in control. I also get sucked into buying the appearances of others and letting that make me feel more insecure.

    I identify with Sarah – instead of trusting God and waiting and having faith, I try to "fix" things myself and usually end up making a BIG mess.

  27. 877
    chsingHim says:

    40's married

    #1 -To just loose 30lbs would make me secure…i know it's not true, but it sure feels like it would go a l-o-n-g way!
    To have the ability to learn & retain would make me secure!

    #2 – To let the healthy, utterly whole & completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction & relationship.

    #3 Moses' lack of confidence!! quote from the book "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities"

    Can I please impose upon Siesta world to ask all who read this to PLEASE breathe a prayer for a precious young lady I love dearly – her husband has had an affair (they have been married less than 5 years and have 2 precious children) – he has left her, still seeing the woman (who was also married with children -she has left her family) All involved need to be bathed in prayer…Beth, so much of this weeks reading made me cry over this young couple – I am so praying for repentance & complete restoration!! Thank you all.

  28. 878
    Melody says:

    Melody
    Chelsea, AL
    30's
    Married

    My Prominent False Positive: Financial Stability would make me secure. We have lived off of financial support from individuals for most of the last 5 years as we've served ministry, and finances have been anything but stable. It is hard to not buy into the idea that financial stability wouldn't make life a lot easier and more secure.

    My Challenge:To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Amen!

    I identify most with Moses because I'd much rather have an Aaron do the hard work God calls me to rather than myself. I have too much self-doubt at times to believe that God really could use me.

  29. 879
    Anonymous says:

    Monica
    St. Paul, MN
    40's
    Married

    1. False Positive(s): If I were just better looking and felt less socially awkward; if I just knew the right things to say at the right time like everyone else around me. And, of course, if I was just thinner…

    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    3. I most identify with Moses, definitely. I know God chooses me to do things, I respond with "No, I will just mess things up". He says, I will give you what you need and I will be with you. I say, I really don't want to mess this up, and I will, don't you know that? You really don't want me doing it…and the conversation continues.

  30. 880
    insecure e. says:

    Elaine,
    Single, 51
    New Orleans, LA

    1. Prominent False positive(s) – for a long time it has been "if only I were married… " Not as prominent as it used to be but still rears its ugly head now and then. Other one is beauty/youth. Whose neck is that attached to my head?

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and see the treasure we are in His eyes.

    3. Leah & Rachel – unrealized desires of the heart.

  31. 881
    insecure e. says:

    Elaine,
    Single, 51
    New Orleans, LA

    1. Prominent False positive(s) – for a long time it has been "if only I were married… " Not as prominent as it used to be but still rears its ugly head now and then. Other one is beauty/youth. Whose neck is that attached to my head?

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and see the treasure we are in His eyes.

    3. Leah & Rachel – unrealized desires of the heart.

  32. 882
    insecure e. says:

    Elaine,
    Single, 51
    New Orleans, LA

    1. Prominent False positive(s) – for a long time it has been "if only I were married… " Not as prominent as it used to be but still rears its ugly head now and then. Other one is beauty/youth. Whose neck is that attached to my head?

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and see the treasure we are in His eyes.

    3. Leah & Rachel – unrealized desires of the heart.

  33. 883
    Just Me and My Halo says:

    Crystal
    Way Up North, WI
    Mid 40's
    Married

    1) 2 Most PFP: Spirituality-feeling I'm not good enough or know enough to share my newfound spiritual life; and Weight-if I weighed less I'd be secure in my clothes, etc. I also tend to believe if a person has 1 of these things, they must have them all and if they have 1 thing that I don't have, they are better than me, even if I may have a different thing.

    2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship … to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, and see in His glorious reflection the treasure we ARE. Can I get an AMEN?!

    3) Moses – I hold back from a lot of things because I don't believe I can possibly have a good opinion or idea (or that God put it in my head). I think a great thought or want to say a funny thing but I hold it in because I'm not sure it's good or funny. Then when someone else says it and it turns out to be a great idea or really funny, I beat myself up for not saying it! And saying "I was just going to say that" causes raised eyebrows! Sometimes I do say "Hey, get out of my head!"

  34. 884
    Kit says:

    1. Prominent false positive – my weight – always thinking I would be more secure if I weighed less, if I were thinner than I would feel better about myself.

    2. Challenge: The healthy, whole and secure part of us must increase as our unhealthy emotions, reactions and relationships decrease. As His light reveals what is hidden in the darkness, it will also reveal the treasure we really are, to Him and to ourselves and His beauty and His truth will envelop us.

    3. I most identified with Moses -always feeling as if others would do a better job or have a better relationship with the Lord or have a more "put together" family.

  35. 885
    Lorrie says:

    1) My most prominant false positive is that if I had more close friendships I would be happier and feel more secure. I have lots of friends but not the kind of consider "real" friends even though I'm not sure what that really means!

    2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.

    3) I relate most to Saul and his conflicting feelings toward David. I get those feelings of fear/jealousy when I think someone posesses something or a trait that I don't and I think they are better than I am because they have it, are doing it, or have succeeded in it.

  36. 886
    katie says:

    Katie
    Duluth MN
    29
    Married
    1. I have decided I have a bunch! Beauty- I do often think will if I was only 10lbs lighter then… And also things or wealth or maybe just my house. We had a house then we moved sold the house and are renting and I often think well if we were in our house- I know it isn't all that rational but somehow I think I would act differently!
    2. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earhen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship
    3.I think Moses, because I never want to just step out and obey God alone, I want someone to go with me- I can find lots of reasons that I am not the person for the job!

  37. 887
    Sarah says:

    Sarah, 40's, Colorado Springs, CO, Married

    Weight tends to be my prominent false positive. If only I could get down to a slimmer, more beautiful me, I would be content – NOT, but that's what my false positive keeps telling me.

    I want to allow God's truth to eclipse EVERY false positive – I am His Treasure!

    I believe that Paul resonated most with me, he always has – the broken vessel that he was and yet he strove daily to die to the part of himself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the great work of god in him. The great work of God through him. Wars with inner man after wars after wars and yet he watched as his wounded ego was wrestled to the ground by the Spirit of Christ and UP STOOD A PERSON HE HAD NO INKLING THAT HE COULD BE and HIS MISSION WAS ACCOMPLISHED! – Oh that I could do the same, oh that the Lord could do the same with me – Oh precious Lord, I pray!

  38. 888
    Anonymous says:

    I'm too insecure to write my name!!
    Oh my goodness, I just had a revelation that is making my stomach hurt. Ouch!

    30's
    Married

    1. My most prominent false positive is financial security. Yes, it pains me to write, shallow I know.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    I am putting that on an index card and carrying it with my everywhere.

    3. I identify with Hagar. And what resonated with my heart and made me ill was " We naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel threatened by them" For years I have despised a certain in law and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I am threatened by her….wow. I feel nauseated typing that. I am giving it to God right now and I know he will help me through it.

  39. 889
    Jeanette says:

    Jeanette
    San Jose, CA
    40's
    Single

    Prominent false positive – weight!!!

    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in his glorious reflection I will also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me. AMEN.

  40. 890
    Maria says:

    Prominent False Positive: If I lose 15 pounds all my insecurity about a man being attracted to me will go away.

    Challenge: When we allow God 's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will all see the treasure we are!

    Bible figure I can relate to: Hagar and Sarai…didnt realize I had this issue until I read…"jealousy is always a result of a perceived threat." I have been shoving this one down for too long…ugh….

    I thought I was done with this stuff after Breaking Free…geez…there is always something the Lord stirs up to the surface…I just have to reside to the fact I will not be done until I go home to him.

    Maria
    New York, NY
    50's
    Single

  41. 891
    Nichole says:

    Nichole
    Lexington, KY
    29
    Married

    1. I think my prominent false positive would have to be financial status. My husband and I aren't materialistic people (mainly because we can't afford to be!). But many of our friends have big, fancy houses furnished with nice, fancy things. My girlfriends have large, gorgeous diamonds and designer bags and shoes. As parents of two (and I'm currently a SAHM), our budget is tight. And we just moved from NC to KY for my husband's job, so we're renting (but praise the Lord we sold our house in NC!). I will begin a full-time doctoral program in the fall, so it'll be another 3+ years before our budget grows. I find myself struggling with wanting "stuff," though I know it won't enrich my life at all. I'm not sure if it's the stuff I want, or just the option to have it. Regardless, that's my PFP. Didn't realize how much of an insecurity it was until recently!

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. "But Moses said, 'Oh Lord, please send someone else to do it.'"

    As I mentioned in #1, our budget is tight. This is due in part to the fact that my husband lost his job last year. He's in banking, and well, that profession was spared no mercy during the recent economic recession. To make matters more complicated, I had just learned I was expecting our second child. It wasn't until we surrendered ALL to the Lord, and were willing to let God lead our paths, did things change. Like Moses, we pleaded, questioned… bartered even. But prayerfully our hearts changed. Once we gave way to God's will, and were willing and able servants, great things began to happen. Our house sold in three showings, my husband found a new and better job, and I was accepted into a doctoral program in the same town (after being blessed with the opportunity to stay home with my two kids this year). We trusted with blind faith, and God led.

  42. 892
    Simply Sara says:

    Sara, 28
    Alberta, Canada

    1. Prominent false positive: Popularity. I want people to like me. I want to be wanted.

    2. I WILL allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am.

    3. Moses. I feel like I am always ready with excuses for God. My insecurity definitely keeps me from my destiny. With everything that is in me I want to change.

  43. 893
    Simply Sara says:

    Sara, 28
    Alberta, Canada

    1. Prominent false positive: Popularity. I want people to like me. I want to be wanted.

    2. I WILL allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am.

    3. Moses. I feel like I am always ready with excuses for God. My insecurity definitely keeps me from my destiny. With everything that is in me I want to change.

  44. 894
    Lisa says:

    Lisa 40's Married Edinburg, TX

    1.My most prominent false positive would be beauty and financial security. Both are fleeting and easily can and do change in a blink of an eye. This I know from experience unfortunately.

    2.When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there is His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    3. Both Moses not wanting to obey right away and Saul fear of someone or something is going to be taken from me.

    Wow is this book ever getting me to deal with yet another layer of the onion of my life!

    Thanks so much Beth for everything it's taken for you to bring this book to all of us who are being blessed by your efforts!

  45. 895
    letters2jesus.com says:

    Monica
    Clinton Twp, MI
    40
    Single

    My false postive are two things: thinness & beauty.

    My challenge is to let the healthy , utterly whole, & completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthly vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    The biblical figure I most relate to is Moses because he didn't want to speak and wanted to stay in the background where he felt comfortable, which is my tendency as well.

  46. 896
    Beckie says:

    Beckie
    Florence, SC
    52
    Married

    Most prominent false positive – financial security. Always say "I just want my little tiny house to be fixed so I can invite over my friends." Just won't allow anyone to see my mismatched home.

    I identified with Moses – have found myself in many situations where I did not speak up. This is a work in process. Do teach Sunday School now but never finish a class or study without comparing myself to the person teaching after me.

  47. 897
    Tanni says:

    Tanni
    Cincinnati, OH
    43
    married with 4 children ๐Ÿ™‚

    1) I have never done anything online before and thought myself brave to actually post something the first week….something long and transparent…then I fretted for quite a while over other people reading my post…Turned out I did something wrong because my post never appeared! Ahhhh, relief…and then, paranoia, that maybe you all decided against the content of my post! UGH! Talk about insecurity!
    So, here I am going for Week 2
    1) After reading chapter 3 I have realized that I have many false positives…I have so many that I actually have fooled myself and all those who know me. I am in a spot now where I am feeling so broken and down and in trying to explain to my my husband and friends they all look at me incredulously…they don't get it and are totally baffled by the insecurities they hear coming from my mouth. I've always known I have insecurities but this book has opened up Pandora's Box for me…I am like a ball of yarn…presenting myself to the world all nice and neat and contained but I am unraveling. I am ready to meet my insecurities head on…I so desire the last half of my life to be lived out the way He sees me and know deep in my heart that is ALL I need.

    2) The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake out earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive…

    3) The biblical figure that I most related with would be Moses. Fear of failure, rejection and the need for perfection…it all keeps me from ever attempting to step out in faith and be obedient to God…I feel like I have been treading water for so many years in my spiritual growth which in turn becomes feelings of guilt and regret….I want to glorify HIS name…I don't want to be "reluctant to believe and obey God"

  48. 898
    TheJoyOfTheLORDisMyStrength says:

    Janice, 52
    married
    Arcanum OH

    Financial security would be my prominent false positive.

    Reading about Sarai and Hagar reminded of the insecurity I used to have and sometimes still rears its ugly head; just not being the wife I think my husband needs; thinking someone else would be better for him.

    Heavenly Father, let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I want Your truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in Your glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And Your beauty will be upon me.

  49. 899
    Anonymous says:

    Martha
    Pine Bluff,Ar
    60's
    S

  50. 900
    T says:

    This has been a tough week. Insecurities have been running a muck to the point that I can't identify a specific and so many of the posts I relate to. However, while laying in bed last night, I finally figured out that they all boil down to me wanting to hear and know that I am doing well in someone's eyes: my family, my close friends, and co-workers. I feel like I need to be not perfect, but acceptable in words and deeds. I have been told I am too soft-hearted and that I can't please everyone all the time. But all my life it has been stressed by well-meaning pastors that my life is an open book to Jesus and I may be the only light(Jesus) that some people ever see. This was reinforced by some family that put me on a pedestal as a girl – I was to do no wrong. This continued into my late 20's, when I became pregnant and I wasn't married. I made a bad choice and was ridiculed.

    I don't want to disappoint everyone with my imperfections (looks, weight, struggles as a teacher, a single-mother/homemaker, money and just the inability to do all that everyone expects) because it hurts too much.

    Little overwhelmed right now…sorry. I thank God everyday He is my partner in life or I wouldn't survive. He has never failed me, even on a down day.

    Promise: Good is good. He IS present and He will overcome this – He already did. YEAH! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Ch 4 I relate to Moses and telling God that I am not sure/confident/capable about what He wants for me. I have said that alot in the last few years, but eventually followed His will. He sends amazing billboards to let me know what He wants and I don't always see what HE is doing, but He is there. I also relate to Saul in the area of baggage as I deal with baggage in order to get past the Moses issue.

    Thank you Beth for being willing to listen to God. Thanks to you and some other good people, I am able (have learned) to follow His lead even when I first say "no" or I don't understand where we are going. I know that this season too will pass.

    40 single mom Panhandle of NE

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So Long Insecurity Week Two!

Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.

There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.

BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.

As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.

Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.

OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?

2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.

I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.

PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:

One of our sisters wrote…

Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.

Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.

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  1. 901
    Anonymous says:

    My most prominent false positive is this great man that I do have would make me secure! Anybody relate?I loved it when you said about Keith that "he's the person whose attraction you crave and to whose occasional bouts of disinterest you cave." I so relate-I think as we are aging (in the marriage relationship) it would be helpful to remember that our men are having their issues too!

    2.When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes be open to the treasure we have and are in Christ.

    3.I most relate to Leah/Rachel-it is a comparison trap of the enemy that has been a huge snare for me! I can so relate to when you said "nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure." I have experienced this over and over in my life-hey, but now I can give voice to it and call it what it is -INSECURITY! A VERY BAD FRIEND!or as my son would say a "FRENEMY"Roxie
    Blackstone,VA
    50's
    Happily married

  2. 902
    Juliana says:

    Juliana
    Almost 40
    Single
    Livermore, CA

    My prominent false positives are – Being married would make me feel secure. I wouldnโ€™t have to make life decisions all by myself; and being Financially Secure would make me happier.

    The Challenge:
    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Allow Godโ€™s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection weโ€™ll also see the treasure we are.

    I identify with Sarai because itโ€™s in our nature to want to manipulate and control our lives instead of waiting on God, and then once we โ€œcontrolโ€ our lives we so regret not waiting on God.

  3. 903
    Katherine says:

    Katherine
    20s
    married
    DFW
    1. Prominent false positiveโ€ฆI think approval. I donโ€™t need everyone to approve, (in fact, Iโ€™ll admit, I get some satisfaction out of certain people DIS-approving), but I crave approval from people that I love and respect. Occupationally, physically, mentally, spirituallyโ€ฆif I could just meet all of the expectations. The funny thing is I know that most of those expectations donโ€™t really exist. I have made them up in my insecure, perfectionist, ridiculous mind.
    2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
    3. I think I relate most to Saul. Partially because I really am a head taller than everyone else, or at least most women. (Note to short women: Those of you who think that IF you were tall, THEN youโ€™d be secureโ€ฆyou wouldnโ€™t. Itโ€™s just as scary up here as it is down there). But I also relate to Saul because I feel like he had a lot going for him but he panicked anyway. Everyone could see he was capable but him, so he hid. I tend to want to hide to avoid failing, too.

  4. 904
    Sarah says:

    Sarah
    British Columbia, Canada
    Very early 40's
    Married

    My most prominent False positive — being overweight and my husband not being attracted to me anymore. I have been losing weight and sticking to it so that makes me feel good.
    The challenge at the end of the chapter is " In Christ there is no darkness, His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. When we allow God's truth it opens our eyes to what treasures we have been given and then we can see through Christ's reflection who we are. That is so beautiful………..
    I related to a lot of the characters so hard to just pick one.
    I love this book so much and drag it everywhere I go and leave the cover on, it is a good opening to tell people about the book.

  5. 905
    kctibs says:

    Kelli
    Colorado
    40
    Married

    #1 – Prominent False Positive – Mine changes with whatever my current season happens to be. Right now I would say MONEY! I have been catching myself saying "if we only had $xxxxxx we would be fine!" Coming to the realization that being debt free is what we as a family need to focus not just getting money or making more money or getting a job…etc, etc. God wants me to be a mom, wife and FINANCIALLY sound spender.

    #2 – Our Challenge – To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    #3 – From the Biblical figures in Chapter 4 – Sarai and Hagar. On page 47 you write – 'Nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants.'….page 48 'We naturally depise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largely threatened by them.'
    I go back to the fact that my husband had an emotional affair with someone 7 years ago. Now, in my present life, there is a woman in our town who (in my humble opinion) likes my husband in an inappropriate manner. She calls him on his cell phone, sets by him at meetings they jointly attend, makes off color comments about their 'relationship' and it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! I feel a great amount of dislike for her all the time and it affects our relationship. I just can't get my hubby to understand where I am coming from without seeming childish. (Back to last weeks answers about not feeling worthy of having the feeling!! Crazy ~ NO)

    Thanks for the eye-opening book about insecurity and it lurking around our hearts/brains waiting to pounce!

    Blessings
    Kelli in Colorado

  6. 906
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah
    Burlington, KY
    30's
    Married

    1. My most prominent false positive is that if I could lose those 10-15 pounds then I would be happy and those that don't have have extra weight must be secure in who they are. Just today, I was checking out (a better description might be closely examining and critiquing) my cellulite on the back of my legs and it about sent me into a panic attack. What a crock!

    2.Our challege is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthern vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. (and a side note to let you know of my insecurity, I went and read other comments to make sure that I wrote the right answer to the challenge…I am such a dork!)

    3. The statement about Paul is what God really impressed on my heart. You wrote on p.57, "the beauty of Paul wasn't his superhumanity but his unwillingness to let his weakness, feelings, and fears override his faith….To Paul, the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of himself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the great work of God in him."

    I want that to be how God redeems my insecurities: living that same crucified life so that God can use me for the plans that He created me for.

  7. 907
    Drawing Closer says:

    To my surprise, the Lord revealed to me that my most prominent "FP" is NEGATIVE. Being overweight has given me a measure of security in many, many areas…
    I'm so ready to allow God's truth to drive my every emotion, reaction and relationship, and overshadow every false positive messing with my mind.
    The characters I most related with have to be Sarai and Hagar. The statement that we "naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share IF we feel largely threatened by them" resonated on many levels, for reasons I prefer not to share at this time.
    Barbara
    60's, married, Spruce Pine, NC

  8. 908
    Anonymous says:

    Anne
    50's
    married
    SC

    My false positive would be feeling comfortable in a group where the others are much closer friends.God has definitely done a major work on me in this area, but I am not where I need to be. It is probably due to envying them of close friendships that I do not have at this season in my life.

    I relate most to Moses, feeling that I don't have talents to be of use to God. I,in essence,am not trusting Him to equip me which I know in my head knowledge He would and can do.

  9. 909
    Julie B. says:

    Oh my goodness! I laughed out loud, by myself, as I read these chapters. I think my dog is worried about me! I recognized myself so vividly on each page. The curtain was pulled back and I could see clearly my craziness out there as if parading around neked for all to see. I just kept thinking good grief, Julie, she's talking about you! What a mess I am!!!! Thanks for pointing out our need for healing from this crazy thinking! I look ahead with anticipation to closing the pages of this book a SECURE woman, free to be me!!!!

    Julie
    Wentzville, MO
    Newly 40
    Married

    Okay…questions…
    1) I wrote in my book "skinniness" that's what will make me secure. If I can just look cute in a pair of jeans! That's all I'm asking! I'm sure then my man won't have his eye captured by those beautiful women that challenge me everyday. (not that he's looking, but I am sure fearful he will after seeing me)

    2) The challenge…to let JESUS, The ONE AND ONLY, the only healthy, whole, and completely secure part of me overtake – consume me – until HE drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3) Moses – I relate to that feeling of "perhaps on this one you are wrong, God – I can't do that, I can't speak for you, I can't, I can't, I can't. Pretty common words in my heart even if never spoken out loud.

  10. 910
    Val in KY says:

    Valerie
    Louisville, KY
    40's – Married

    OK – in my home officelistening to Travis Cottrell's CD "Jesus Saves LIVE" and it came to track 12 "Victory in Jesus" and I just had to stop to do a "worship dance". There is victory in JESUS, right?!? That's what I'm hoping to come out of this with.

    #1 – False Positive: to be 15lbs. lighter, everything else will fall into place, right? It seems to be a common one although I feel lonely in this sometimes and as if no one would understand. Some people even ask me if I've lost weight. I want to scream "ARE YOU CRAZY?" My normal response is "No. I hide it well" Then I feel like such a fraud.

    #2 – The challenge: To allow God's truth to eclipse my false positives. In Christ there is wholeness and healing.

    #3 – I would have to say Moses. I have a frequent feeling that I am not qualified.

    Closing out with track #14 In Christ Alone…and as HE stands in victory, sin's curse has lost its grip on me..for I am His and HE is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ…hallelujah!

  11. 911
    linde says:

    linde
    dallas
    20s
    married

    financial success would make me secure

    Lord, allow me "to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship." I believe You will accomplish Your will in me, Lord!

    Moses-"Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies because of their own insecurities"

    also relate to the thought of a threat/feeling threatened tapping directly into insecurity

  12. 912
    Anonymous says:

    Kathleen St. joseph, MI 40's married I too took the cover off my book but not because of the title. I want to keep it in good condition because Beth signed the cover. This is my first blog ever and i can't spell or write fancy. ( I thank God every day for spell ck.)
    so here goes…… My prominent false positive is if I would have had a Mother that loved me while I was growing up I would not have so many insecurities. A mothers love can go a long way in either direction. To this day I call her and always think that maybe she will show some glimmer of love toward me and some days she does but most times not. I just keep calling and keep loving her and maybe one day i will understand her. until then I just do as asked by God. Be a ray of sunshine in her dark world. In him is no darkness at all. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Moses is who I can really relate to. because I have never felt like I could do one thing right. I never feel smart enough, talented enough, brave, pretty, stylish, ect… Why would you ever pick me as a team mate, friend, or any thing else but through God and his love I have been able to knock most of this junk down. But …. every now and then I gets the best of me and there is my ever faithful God and super hubby to put it in it's proper place. Out of my mind and back into the trash can. Praise God.

  13. 913
    HulaHeart says:

    Paula
    Brownwood, Tx
    40s
    Married

    1. My false positive (for this week) is social ease. It seems people like them, and want to be friends with them. ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17, NKJV).

    3. I resonated with Eve, or my current ideas about her initial encounters with the deceiver. ๐Ÿ™‚ It's a search for something more, a fear of being left out, of not knowing, of not having it all.

  14. 914
    Nesha says:

    1) My most prominent false positive is the thinking that if I have the security of husband, kids, home, etc that I would be more secure of my role in life but that doesn't help in being secure IN and WITH myself.
    2)'To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.' This is on an index card and taped to my mirror.
    3)Moses: He is a perfect example of what I do say, 'Anybody else would be better!' I tend to and like to work in the background. I need to believe that His strength is ever present, even in me to do whatever task is asked of me.

    Nesha
    30's
    Married
    Mechanicsville, VA

  15. 915
    Nesha says:

    Sorry about posting so late on Week 1 and Week 2. I was watching my mailbox like crazy when I realized the book was 'late' for the blog posts. There were/are so many things going on right now, even my husband made a comment about how the enemy is really hitting hard.
    – book late
    – pre-teen issues
    – youth group trouble
    – dear friend died, age 37
    – computer crashes, twice
    – medication change, me
    – insurance trouble
    – stress on marriage
    – sickness, husband
    = very tired people
    I have my memory scripture cards posted everywhere through out the house!

  16. 916
    Karen says:

    Karen
    44
    married

    1. My most prominent false positive is body weight. Of course if my children behave perfectly, if my husband perfectly shows his love for me and my house looks like it jumped out of a magazine, well that would give me a warm, fuzzy false positive too…

    2. " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."

    3. I think Rachel and Leah. Not so much relating to warring over their husband as I have a wonderful, loving husband but I can relate to that feeling of never quite being "enough".

  17. 917
    pippasmum says:

    Sarah
    Ontario, Canada
    30's
    Married
    Beth, I can't thank you enough for this book. I have struggled with this for years and as a Christian, I feel such guilt because I KNOW that the only opinion that matters is God's and yet, I keep getting sucked back into this stronghold. Thank you!

    My most prominent false positive is definitely appearance in all forms – if I can arrange it so that people look at me and I look like I've got it together, then I feel so much more in control. I also get sucked into buying the appearances of others and letting that make me feel more insecure.

    I identify with Sarah – instead of trusting God and waiting and having faith, I try to "fix" things myself and usually end up making a BIG mess.

  18. 918
    chsingHim says:

    40's married

    #1 -To just loose 30lbs would make me secure…i know it's not true, but it sure feels like it would go a l-o-n-g way!
    To have the ability to learn & retain would make me secure!

    #2 – To let the healthy, utterly whole & completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction & relationship.

    #3 Moses' lack of confidence!! quote from the book "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities"

    Can I please impose upon Siesta world to ask all who read this to PLEASE breathe a prayer for a precious young lady I love dearly – her husband has had an affair (they have been married less than 5 years and have 2 precious children) – he has left her, still seeing the woman (who was also married with children -she has left her family) All involved need to be bathed in prayer…Beth, so much of this weeks reading made me cry over this young couple – I am so praying for repentance & complete restoration!! Thank you all.

  19. 919
    Melody says:

    Melody
    Chelsea, AL
    30's
    Married

    My Prominent False Positive: Financial Stability would make me secure. We have lived off of financial support from individuals for most of the last 5 years as we've served ministry, and finances have been anything but stable. It is hard to not buy into the idea that financial stability wouldn't make life a lot easier and more secure.

    My Challenge:To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Amen!

    I identify most with Moses because I'd much rather have an Aaron do the hard work God calls me to rather than myself. I have too much self-doubt at times to believe that God really could use me.

  20. 920
    Anonymous says:

    Monica
    St. Paul, MN
    40's
    Married

    1. False Positive(s): If I were just better looking and felt less socially awkward; if I just knew the right things to say at the right time like everyone else around me. And, of course, if I was just thinner…

    2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    3. I most identify with Moses, definitely. I know God chooses me to do things, I respond with "No, I will just mess things up". He says, I will give you what you need and I will be with you. I say, I really don't want to mess this up, and I will, don't you know that? You really don't want me doing it…and the conversation continues.

  21. 921
    insecure e. says:

    Elaine,
    Single, 51
    New Orleans, LA

    1. Prominent False positive(s) – for a long time it has been "if only I were married… " Not as prominent as it used to be but still rears its ugly head now and then. Other one is beauty/youth. Whose neck is that attached to my head?

    2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and see the treasure we are in His eyes.

    3. Leah & Rachel – unrealized desires of the heart.

  22. 922
    Just Me and My Halo says:

    Crystal
    Way Up North, WI
    Mid 40's
    Married

    1) 2 Most PFP: Spirituality-feeling I'm not good enough or know enough to share my newfound spiritual life; and Weight-if I weighed less I'd be secure in my clothes, etc. I also tend to believe if a person has 1 of these things, they must have them all and if they have 1 thing that I don't have, they are better than me, even if I may have a different thing.

    2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship … to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, and see in His glorious reflection the treasure we ARE. Can I get an AMEN?!

    3) Moses – I hold back from a lot of things because I don't believe I can possibly have a good opinion or idea (or that God put it in my head). I think a great thought or want to say a funny thing but I hold it in because I'm not sure it's good or funny. Then when someone else says it and it turns out to be a great idea or really funny, I beat myself up for not saying it! And saying "I was just going to say that" causes raised eyebrows! Sometimes I do say "Hey, get out of my head!"

  23. 923
    Kit says:

    1. Prominent false positive – my weight – always thinking I would be more secure if I weighed less, if I were thinner than I would feel better about myself.

    2. Challenge: The healthy, whole and secure part of us must increase as our unhealthy emotions, reactions and relationships decrease. As His light reveals what is hidden in the darkness, it will also reveal the treasure we really are, to Him and to ourselves and His beauty and His truth will envelop us.

    3. I most identified with Moses -always feeling as if others would do a better job or have a better relationship with the Lord or have a more "put together" family.

  24. 924
    Lorrie says:

    1) My most prominant false positive is that if I had more close friendships I would be happier and feel more secure. I have lots of friends but not the kind of consider "real" friends even though I'm not sure what that really means!

    2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.

    3) I relate most to Saul and his conflicting feelings toward David. I get those feelings of fear/jealousy when I think someone posesses something or a trait that I don't and I think they are better than I am because they have it, are doing it, or have succeeded in it.

  25. 925
    katie says:

    Katie
    Duluth MN
    29
    Married
    1. I have decided I have a bunch! Beauty- I do often think will if I was only 10lbs lighter then… And also things or wealth or maybe just my house. We had a house then we moved sold the house and are renting and I often think well if we were in our house- I know it isn't all that rational but somehow I think I would act differently!
    2. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earhen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship
    3.I think Moses, because I never want to just step out and obey God alone, I want someone to go with me- I can find lots of reasons that I am not the person for the job!

  26. 926
    Sarah says:

    Sarah, 40's, Colorado Springs, CO, Married

    Weight tends to be my prominent false positive. If only I could get down to a slimmer, more beautiful me, I would be content – NOT, but that's what my false positive keeps telling me.

    I want to allow God's truth to eclipse EVERY false positive – I am His Treasure!

    I believe that Paul resonated most with me, he always has – the broken vessel that he was and yet he strove daily to die to the part of himself that would deny, destroy, or distract from the great work of god in him. The great work of God through him. Wars with inner man after wars after wars and yet he watched as his wounded ego was wrestled to the ground by the Spirit of Christ and UP STOOD A PERSON HE HAD NO INKLING THAT HE COULD BE and HIS MISSION WAS ACCOMPLISHED! – Oh that I could do the same, oh that the Lord could do the same with me – Oh precious Lord, I pray!

  27. 927
    Anonymous says:

    I'm too insecure to write my name!!
    Oh my goodness, I just had a revelation that is making my stomach hurt. Ouch!

    30's
    Married

    1. My most prominent false positive is financial security. Yes, it pains me to write, shallow I know.

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    I am putting that on an index card and carrying it with my everywhere.

    3. I identify with Hagar. And what resonated with my heart and made me ill was " We naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel threatened by them" For years I have despised a certain in law and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I am threatened by her….wow. I feel nauseated typing that. I am giving it to God right now and I know he will help me through it.

  28. 928
    Jeanette says:

    Jeanette
    San Jose, CA
    40's
    Single

    Prominent false positive – weight!!!

    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When I allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in his glorious reflection I will also see the treasure I am. And the beauty of the Lord my God will be upon me. AMEN.

  29. 929
    Maria says:

    Prominent False Positive: If I lose 15 pounds all my insecurity about a man being attracted to me will go away.

    Challenge: When we allow God 's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will all see the treasure we are!

    Bible figure I can relate to: Hagar and Sarai…didnt realize I had this issue until I read…"jealousy is always a result of a perceived threat." I have been shoving this one down for too long…ugh….

    I thought I was done with this stuff after Breaking Free…geez…there is always something the Lord stirs up to the surface…I just have to reside to the fact I will not be done until I go home to him.

    Maria
    New York, NY
    50's
    Single

  30. 930
    Nichole says:

    Nichole
    Lexington, KY
    29
    Married

    1. I think my prominent false positive would have to be financial status. My husband and I aren't materialistic people (mainly because we can't afford to be!). But many of our friends have big, fancy houses furnished with nice, fancy things. My girlfriends have large, gorgeous diamonds and designer bags and shoes. As parents of two (and I'm currently a SAHM), our budget is tight. And we just moved from NC to KY for my husband's job, so we're renting (but praise the Lord we sold our house in NC!). I will begin a full-time doctoral program in the fall, so it'll be another 3+ years before our budget grows. I find myself struggling with wanting "stuff," though I know it won't enrich my life at all. I'm not sure if it's the stuff I want, or just the option to have it. Regardless, that's my PFP. Didn't realize how much of an insecurity it was until recently!

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. "But Moses said, 'Oh Lord, please send someone else to do it.'"

    As I mentioned in #1, our budget is tight. This is due in part to the fact that my husband lost his job last year. He's in banking, and well, that profession was spared no mercy during the recent economic recession. To make matters more complicated, I had just learned I was expecting our second child. It wasn't until we surrendered ALL to the Lord, and were willing to let God lead our paths, did things change. Like Moses, we pleaded, questioned… bartered even. But prayerfully our hearts changed. Once we gave way to God's will, and were willing and able servants, great things began to happen. Our house sold in three showings, my husband found a new and better job, and I was accepted into a doctoral program in the same town (after being blessed with the opportunity to stay home with my two kids this year). We trusted with blind faith, and God led.

  31. 931
    Simply Sara says:

    Sara, 28
    Alberta, Canada

    1. Prominent false positive: Popularity. I want people to like me. I want to be wanted.

    2. I WILL allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am.

    3. Moses. I feel like I am always ready with excuses for God. My insecurity definitely keeps me from my destiny. With everything that is in me I want to change.

  32. 932
    Simply Sara says:

    Sara, 28
    Alberta, Canada

    1. Prominent false positive: Popularity. I want people to like me. I want to be wanted.

    2. I WILL allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am.

    3. Moses. I feel like I am always ready with excuses for God. My insecurity definitely keeps me from my destiny. With everything that is in me I want to change.

  33. 933
    Lisa says:

    Lisa 40's Married Edinburg, TX

    1.My most prominent false positive would be beauty and financial security. Both are fleeting and easily can and do change in a blink of an eye. This I know from experience unfortunately.

    2.When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there is His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.

    3. Both Moses not wanting to obey right away and Saul fear of someone or something is going to be taken from me.

    Wow is this book ever getting me to deal with yet another layer of the onion of my life!

    Thanks so much Beth for everything it's taken for you to bring this book to all of us who are being blessed by your efforts!

  34. 934
    letters2jesus.com says:

    Monica
    Clinton Twp, MI
    40
    Single

    My false postive are two things: thinness & beauty.

    My challenge is to let the healthy , utterly whole, & completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthly vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    The biblical figure I most relate to is Moses because he didn't want to speak and wanted to stay in the background where he felt comfortable, which is my tendency as well.

  35. 935
    Beckie says:

    Beckie
    Florence, SC
    52
    Married

    Most prominent false positive – financial security. Always say "I just want my little tiny house to be fixed so I can invite over my friends." Just won't allow anyone to see my mismatched home.

    I identified with Moses – have found myself in many situations where I did not speak up. This is a work in process. Do teach Sunday School now but never finish a class or study without comparing myself to the person teaching after me.

  36. 936
    Tanni says:

    Tanni
    Cincinnati, OH
    43
    married with 4 children ๐Ÿ™‚

    1) I have never done anything online before and thought myself brave to actually post something the first week….something long and transparent…then I fretted for quite a while over other people reading my post…Turned out I did something wrong because my post never appeared! Ahhhh, relief…and then, paranoia, that maybe you all decided against the content of my post! UGH! Talk about insecurity!
    So, here I am going for Week 2
    1) After reading chapter 3 I have realized that I have many false positives…I have so many that I actually have fooled myself and all those who know me. I am in a spot now where I am feeling so broken and down and in trying to explain to my my husband and friends they all look at me incredulously…they don't get it and are totally baffled by the insecurities they hear coming from my mouth. I've always known I have insecurities but this book has opened up Pandora's Box for me…I am like a ball of yarn…presenting myself to the world all nice and neat and contained but I am unraveling. I am ready to meet my insecurities head on…I so desire the last half of my life to be lived out the way He sees me and know deep in my heart that is ALL I need.

    2) The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake out earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive…

    3) The biblical figure that I most related with would be Moses. Fear of failure, rejection and the need for perfection…it all keeps me from ever attempting to step out in faith and be obedient to God…I feel like I have been treading water for so many years in my spiritual growth which in turn becomes feelings of guilt and regret….I want to glorify HIS name…I don't want to be "reluctant to believe and obey God"

  37. 937
    TheJoyOfTheLORDisMyStrength says:

    Janice, 52
    married
    Arcanum OH

    Financial security would be my prominent false positive.

    Reading about Sarai and Hagar reminded of the insecurity I used to have and sometimes still rears its ugly head; just not being the wife I think my husband needs; thinking someone else would be better for him.

    Heavenly Father, let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I want Your truth to eclipse every false positive and let my eyes spring open to the treasure I have, there in Your glorious reflection I'll also see the treasure I am. And Your beauty will be upon me.

  38. 938
    Anonymous says:

    Martha
    Pine Bluff,Ar
    60's
    S

  39. 939
    T says:

    This has been a tough week. Insecurities have been running a muck to the point that I can't identify a specific and so many of the posts I relate to. However, while laying in bed last night, I finally figured out that they all boil down to me wanting to hear and know that I am doing well in someone's eyes: my family, my close friends, and co-workers. I feel like I need to be not perfect, but acceptable in words and deeds. I have been told I am too soft-hearted and that I can't please everyone all the time. But all my life it has been stressed by well-meaning pastors that my life is an open book to Jesus and I may be the only light(Jesus) that some people ever see. This was reinforced by some family that put me on a pedestal as a girl – I was to do no wrong. This continued into my late 20's, when I became pregnant and I wasn't married. I made a bad choice and was ridiculed.

    I don't want to disappoint everyone with my imperfections (looks, weight, struggles as a teacher, a single-mother/homemaker, money and just the inability to do all that everyone expects) because it hurts too much.

    Little overwhelmed right now…sorry. I thank God everyday He is my partner in life or I wouldn't survive. He has never failed me, even on a down day.

    Promise: Good is good. He IS present and He will overcome this – He already did. YEAH! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Ch 4 I relate to Moses and telling God that I am not sure/confident/capable about what He wants for me. I have said that alot in the last few years, but eventually followed His will. He sends amazing billboards to let me know what He wants and I don't always see what HE is doing, but He is there. I also relate to Saul in the area of baggage as I deal with baggage in order to get past the Moses issue.

    Thank you Beth for being willing to listen to God. Thanks to you and some other good people, I am able (have learned) to follow His lead even when I first say "no" or I don't understand where we are going. I know that this season too will pass.

    40 single mom Panhandle of NE

  40. 940
    Alicia says:

    1. Prominent False Positive: Weight- I know I believe that if I could lose weight I would be more secure in many areas.

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, whole, and secure part of us (Christ) overtake what drives every other part of us.

    3. Biblical figures: Sarai and Hagar. This is the part that got me thinking. "We naturally despise people whose company we are forced to share if we feel largely threatened by them." This has happened with me in friendships-not in my marriage. I like to have a few close friends rather than a large groups of friends . I've become jealous when I've felt threatened that my close friend might be closer to someone else than me.

    Alicia
    Rome, GA
    29
    Married 7 Years

  41. 941
    Melanie says:

    Melanie
    TN
    30's
    Married

    First, I just want to say that I am so glad that you titled the book as you did. I needed something to scream "INSECURITY!!!" at me… I don't do subtle ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. My PFP is definitely my appearance. I always think that if I looked beautiful or dressed nicer, that I would be more confident which would make 'everything' better: relationships, career, marriage, friendships.

    2. Challenge — To let the light of God's truth shine down into my thought closet and expose all of the lies I have been telling myself. To see the treasure I have in HIM and to find my worth in his precious reflection.

    3. I definitely relate most to Sarah. I feel jealous about other women and sometimes very inadequate.

  42. 942
    Brittney says:

    Brittney
    Pflugerville, TX
    20's
    Married

    1. my "false positive" would definitely have to be success or the "it" girl – the one who has it all. Because, I don't believe I "have it all". I'm starting up a photography business and I hate to admit that I get really down when someone doesn't choose me to photograph their family, kids, wedding – whatever the case. But even worse, other friends that are photographers… if they get a wedding or whatever and I don't, I get so jealous and feel like I'm not good at what I do… ugh!

    2. to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.

    3. It would definitely be a toss up between Moses and Paul… thinking I'm not good enough but trying to prove that I am :/

  43. 943
    Cynthia says:

    Cynthia
    Aynor,SC
    49
    widow-22yrs
    1. If I were a size 8 again. I'd feel good about myself and wouldn't care a lot about what people think of me. That sounds bad to put it on paper.
    2. I am who God says I am
    3.Leah, Surely my husband will love me now. What do I have to do for someone to love me again? If my husband was still alive, he did love me. That alone still helps me. Somebody that had flesh on loved me at one time. No what, I knew he loved God more than me. There was security in that!!!!!!

  44. 944
    gritsgirl721 says:

    Amanda
    Olive Branch, Ms
    40's single
    My false positive is my weight issue. I've struggled with it my whole life, 20-30 pounds over where I should be, on and off diet pills. I think if it's perfected, then my life will be perfect; I'll finally get married again.
    My challenge:
    To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's TRUTH to eclipse every false positive (my weight) and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are!
    The Biblical character I most relate to is Sarah. I am a people pleaser and I'm not very patient in some areas of my life. In turn that lead Sarah and me to "impulsively dumb" decisions, that then lead to further insecurity and consequences. It's a Vicious Cycle. I truly desire to be free, by God's strength and dignity over me, I will be free.
    :-)Blessings Everyone, I love reading all you share.

  45. 945
    Chris says:

    Chris
    Tucson, AZ
    56
    Married

    ONE of the several – Prominent false positives – weight.

    From those mentioned – I think I feel most like Hagar – not in any, slave-girl, marital or childbearing way – but in the way that dissapointment brings about discouragement and despair.Hagar is rejected by others, she lifted up her voice in her desert times and calls to God for help. God hears her,and answered and provided for her.

  46. 946
    Heather Self says:

    1) My most prominent false positive could be wrapped in the word control. I see that it seeps into every part of my life. I want to have schedules and organization and routines. I want to handle everything with ease. And, I want to control outcomes. The funny thing is, I don't think I have ever held to these things for even one day! I've set myself up to fail!

    For the past month I have been on bedrest and looking to be the remaining three of my pregnancy. God is definitely taking all control out of my hands! He's up to something good.

    2. Our challenge is to "allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll see the treasure we are.

    3. I believe I connected most with Saul. Beth's quote, "Insecurity's expertise is hiding its victim in some baggage," struck a chord. So many times, my reactions are based on my baggage… and I hide behind it rather than be real or vulnerable. Saul was also obsessed with losing something. Again, because of past pains, I continually prepare myself to lose people dear to me. I'm ready to respond with His "divine power, wisdom, and clarity of thought."

    Heather
    Ironton, MO
    20's
    Married

  47. 947
    Shelly says:

    Shelly
    Colorado Springs, CO
    40s
    Married
    I forgot to mention I am a newbie

    1. Prominent False Positive – weight and success.

    2. Challenge – To allow myself to believe that God does cherish me, does find me valuable! To allow myself to know and feel and believe that He didn't just save me and move on, but that I am worth something to Him.

    3. I think Saul resonates most with me. I often want to be around people who are successful and intelligent and then become jealous because it makes me feel I am not as successful and intelligent, so I start to nitpick at their abilities to undermine them.

  48. 948
    Anonymous says:

    Paula K
    Muskegon, Michigan
    40's
    Married

    1. Prominent False Positive: physical apppearance

    2. The Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Biblical Character: Moses. Oh how I wish I could be articulate and eloquent. I am the facilitator of my Bible study group and feel like a failure after each meeting.

  49. 949
    dani and joey snare says:

    Danielle
    Schaumburg, IL
    20s – Married

    1. Prominent False Positive – Yikes! My appearance. I always think, "If I can look like this… go to the gym this many times a week… wear this certain outfit… I will look amazing and be happy." I find myself always comparing and finding "areas" of improvement. Dear Danielle, "You are made perfect – in HIS image." Love, Me. Oh, my deep insecurities in my looks . . .

    2. Challenge: To let the healthy, untterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. Character: Moses. Wow – He saw God work in some major ways and still disobeyed even when God continually gave him promises and of course, came through. How OFTEN do I see God work and move in my life. . . then continually disobey and be reluctant to take the next step and believe. Oy vey. Moses was such an amazing Godly leader – leading the Lord's chosen people and still failed in areas of insecurity. Who/Where am I leading where my insecurities are causing sin in my life and possibly bringing others down? What a great lesson.

  50. 950
    Abby says:

    Abby
    Wolcott, IN
    20s
    Single

    1. I think my false positives depend on my circumstances, as I look back on my past. Right now I live at home with my parents and security for me would be living a life out on my own…filling my life with the relationships and activities and the fullness that I expect life to be when I'm out on my own and I see other people my age doing. I think singleness is a big part of that too, and feeling like I'm alone and removed from the community of friends and church family and co-workers I'd like to have in my life. Which makes perfect sense when I think about the answer to question 3!

    2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.

    3. I relate to all these stories but I especially connected to the line about Saul that said he refused to call out to God for deliverance from his unhealthy emotions. I have let worry and fear and feelings of inferiority and disappointment take over my life in some ways and thankfully God is delivering me from that…even today! But I didn't realize or trust God could or would handle my destructive thoughts and emotions and heal me!

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