Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender’s massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It’s what’s inside the book that matters. I’ll tell you why I begged to have the word “insecurity” in the title even though the question came to the table, “Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?” My feeling – then theirs – was that it was worth the chance. If we’d just named it something like “Hello Security,” women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment’s resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think…then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I’d been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter – then to the car – as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That’s how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we’ve got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let’s get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own “Prominent False Positive”?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That’s your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That’s it for this week! I can’t wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday’s post. In fact, I’m going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote…
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, “sure wish my book would come in.” Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn’t know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, “I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn’t even think to ask you….you would be the last person…” Well, it was mine and at first I said, “I’m not insecure” but later walked back up there and said, “[the woman’s name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I’ll be set free from them.” She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we’re feeling your pain, and we’re all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it’s funny). Honestly, that’s just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let’s stay the course in Jesus’ great Name.
Anonymous 
Ivy.
Albany, GA.
21.
single.
1. my prominent false postives are tough…things i never imagined was hindering my security until i read this book. one of mine is that if my younger sister who has cerebral palsy was healed/did not have handicaps that my life would be easier and i would find that nothing could keep my family down. another one of mine is that if i didn't fear my calling or that if i would just pick another major (one that isn't so spiritually exhausting and liberal) that college would be a breeze.
2. and because Mama Beth said to do this here it goes: to get over ourselves, hold onto His truth, and realize the beautiful treasure we hold in Christ.
3.Paul. This story is taped to my bathroom door right now. Copied directly from the pages of this book. Why? Because I so get what he was going through. I feel like I am young, I am not as wise as others, I have nothing to offer..oh, but wait don't I have the treasure of Christ? My Jesus..He is enough. and it is so easy to type this. But reality is, when i get in sociology of religon next week and my atheist professor directs all his anger and questions at me…i will doubt all that I have in Christ. But I know..Satan wants just that. My God is bigger. And we will fight…for Him.
mrs. beth, you are such an encouragement and blessing.
30s
Married
North Carolina
1)My most prominent false positive is wanting to be a mom. I know that it is a myth and that that one thing will not solve my problems, but it's the one thing I always thought I'd be by now. I feel that it is intricately woven into my identity and to not have kids makes me feel fraudulent in a way, like I'm not doing what I thought was one of my main purposes in life. Intellectually I know that if I am not a mom, I can still serve our Lord and have a fulfilling life, but I just wasn't expecting that my life would be child-less. So that false positive creeps in periodically and tempts me toward discontentment. But I am determined to glorify and serve my Savior with or without children. It is a fight to trust Him and not covet.
2)The challenge for me is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship!
3)I relate to Moses. I don't like the spotlight and step back from situations because I think I am not qualified enough. Fear can hinder me when God calls me to challenging things.
PS – I love the part about threats prompting insecurity!!! So true. In fact, I feel like I am the perceived threat in one family (in-law) relationship. The other person constantly wants to "one up" me and spout off her accomplishments and detracts from mine. It is bizarre! I don't want to be in competition with her. I wish she was more secure so we could have a better relationship. Her continuous need to show me up makes me want to withdraw and not be around her. I wish she did not see me as a threat.
Dianne
Henryetta OK
50's
Married
1) It definitely is difficult to pick just one. For me, I think credentials/education is at the top. I got pregnant and married at 16 so ended up with a GED and no college. It is a detail I never want to disclose when first meeting someone. The other most PFP though would have to do with popularity. I still struggle with the Jr High girl mentality of wanting everyone to like me.
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
2) The comment about Paul and the psychological zigzag – drive myself crazy!!
1) My PFP (or the ONE THING I think would make me more secure in all things) would probably be in thinking my husband (who just became a Christian) need this certain person in his life to be a stronger Christian. God moved his leadership in my husbands friendship & our church leadership to another state. I'm having such a hard time with this & so is my husband. God has been showing me through all this my own insecurities. You had mentioned that insecure people when change happens are thrown in a severe emotional loop. That's EXACTLY how I feel & my heart seems to be a little bitter about it all. Which I won't go into the details. I love what you said though, about YOU & I ARE GOING TO HAVE TO COME TO A PLACE WHERE WE STOP HANDING PEOPLE THE KIND OF POWER ONLY GOD SHOULD WIELD OVER US.
2) CHALLENGE=Allow GOD"S TRUTH to eclipse every FP & let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE & there in HIS glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE. And let the Beauty of the Lord be upon us.
3)Definately Paul.
Dizzying psychological zigzag.The fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself.
Married
40's
New York
Barb
Prescott Valley, AZ
50's
Married
1. My PFP: It used to be: "if I had a beautiful house", and God has recently given me one! For many years before that, it was: "if I had a man who liked to be with me & wanted to marry me", and God has given me one! (Re-married after my 1st one chose to end 20 yr un-happy marriage).
Now my PFP depends on many circumstances: what time of day is it? When I look in the mirror, it is "if I could recapture my youth"; when I crawl into bed it is "if I could reconnect with my daughter, if my children were happy and knew God loves them, truly"; when my husband has to lay on the couch so he can actually get some sleep (he has sleep problems), it's "if I had a man who could SLEEP next to me" or "if I could just be held more"…to name a few.
2. Challenge/Promise: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completley secure part of us [GOD'S SPIRIT!] increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our EVERY emotion, reaction, and relationship…allow[ing] God's truth to eclipse EVERY false positive and let[ting] our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we ARE. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17 NKJV)."
3. I guess I resonated most with Sarai, tho I have always thought she was an I-D-I-O-T to hand over Hagar!!! But I am over-sensitive to what I perceive my husband responds to in other women and wonder why he chose me, when I don't have those other qualities – and actually have prayed that God would give him the woman that would make him truly happy (did that with the 1st one too). And jealousy is a big problem I struggle with!!! But the word about "THREAT" being a big root of insecurity – that was an eye opener for me – thank you for that-still resonating!!!
This part is like a confession, making my post longer but seems like I need to put it out there. The person I compare myself to the most is my younger sister: best husband, great home, great church life, most attention from our parents. I smiled for attention, she was cholicky (sp), I'm the black sheep, the emotionally unstable one, most over-sensitive, was the most heartache to my parents, most in need of spiritual help…but I have grown some (due to eye-opening truths Beth has shared) & now I see flaws in the 'perfect one' that I hadn't before, which gave me hope that I'm not so terrible. But lately, I had a new person on the pedastel: you, Beth! If only I could have the spiritual life you have, I would be – you know! But I have been blown away by the insecurities you have shared – and so thankful for your honesty!!!!!! (I am the nut that didn't think you would have any now.) I can't believe how many times you have recorded my thoughts & experiences as yours!!!!! I jumped at the title of this book and begged for it as a Christmas present! But I took the cover off. Everyone who knows me, knows I am insecure! I guess I show it in my walk, my talk – my voice, everything. I don't want to set up a false hope of getting over it! I'm pretty entrenched!!!! I know God can do miracles – He already has in other areas for me!! I know this hole is somehow for His Glory, I want to believe I can be changed, God help my unbelief!!!! Thank you for being REAL Beth! I realize it is HIM I need to put on my pedastel! My new prayer is Psalm 90:17. Thank you ALL for being honest!!!
I had to post again because there is a 2nd prominent false positive that is bugging me big time this week. I really long for my husband to desire me and want me sexually. He has a little bit of a low sex drive. That is very hard for me. I don't feel desirable a lot of the time and take it personal. It makes me feel insecure. So I guess I believe that if he was always after me in that way, I would feel secure and could conquer anything.
30's
Obviously married, but not always happily.
Tammy 40s
Wingo KY
Married
I think I have 2 false positives. The first one would be financial security and the second would be being thin would b. I think I make me secureeel that if I have enough money and if I wasn't overweight, then maybe I would be more secure and sure of myself.
The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completer secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
There are actually 2 Bible characters I can relate to. The first one is Rachel. I sometimes wonder how God could love me as much as someone else because of the mistakes I made in my past. I can also identify with Moses because I wonder just how and why God would choose to use me or even want to use me.
Caroline
Winston-Salem, NC
20s
Single
1. My false positive is probably success – whether it be in school, in work, in other activities. I strive to succeed. Or as someone in my Bible study put it, I strive not to fail. It's that unshakable fear of failure that often pushes me to aim to succeed.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses, for sure. I will try to avoid the opportunities God provides in my life simply because I'm insecure.
Adrienne
Horseheads, NY
40
Married
OK so I just want to say, I finally got my book yesterday and my 8 yr old son looked at the cover and said "mommy, she looks like you, but alot younger and her hair is smoother" – I just turned 40 (hard times for me). If I didnt need the book before, I sure do now. Grin.
Durant, OK
40's
Married
1. My most prominent false positives are if I could be a better communicator, especially verbally,. . . have a better personality. . .but also to get published.
2. Our CHALLENGE:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. AND THE BEAUTY OF THE LORD OUR GOD WILL BE UPON US!! (Psalm 90:17)
3. I listened to Chapter 4, then read over it, then listened to it again, then my son read it to me. . . looking to find which Biblical character I identified with. I didn't think I identified with any of them. . .then I thought I identified with all of them!
Then, I finally am choosing both
Rachel and Moses. I kept trying to talk myself out of admitting to identifying with Rachel, because my husband is totally devoted to me, but I know that I do sometimes show that I am envious if I think another woman is prettier than me or cooks better than me.
I relate to Moses, because I wish I could be better at public speaking and conversation, and also have the fear of rejection when trying to write.
Once again, if you spend any time alone in the car, I highly recommend purchasing the audio set read by Beth, even if you did already invest in the book! It is worth it!
Dearest Candace, if you find that this is not exactly the right time for the book, don't feel badly about putting it up for a while! The entire second half is focused on the healing process but it could be that, while you're struggling with some pretty heavy depression, the first half might be too much. I don't want to encourage you toward anything that would make the world seem darker to you. The hope behind this message is that God's light will shine on our deep seated insecurity, we will recognize the unnecessary toll it is taking and allow Him to heal us.
You are so loved here.
Katie
Russellville, AL
27
Married
1. My PFP: If I had something I was really good at (like a job/career/ministry), that I LOVED doing, and that helped a lot of people, then I would feel complete and like I had purpose in this life. This has really hit since I lost my job almost 2 years ago and I am still waiting for God's direction for what's next. Plus, its even harder because I've never really had a specific dream or talent that would automatically point to a job/career. I've never even been passionate about anything until over these past 2 years God has done a complete overhaul in me and for the first time in my life I want to know His Word and apply it and help others do the same more than anything. I struggle with waiting on and putting my hope IN God and NOT a job/career, as a result I'm constantly going through bouts of discontentment with where I am now. I keep forgetting that God has placed me here and is not expecting me to be anywhere else. I'm trying to learn to only care about what He thinks and not this world who would say that I'm wasting the prime of my life waiting on God.
That's why this is my PFP, I find myself most insecure when being asked about what I am doing now, or talking to people my age that are being used in an amazing way for the glory of God, or are really good at what they do, like when I read Melissa's posts. She is my age and doing something I want to do(studying theology) and even have a passion for except that I think I'm not smart enough to do it. I admire her so much in the faith and feel so honored to be her sister in Christ, yet somehow feel less when I see how ridiculously amazing her writing is, and how she ministers deep theological truths to us(I want to do something like that for my sphere of influence). Ugh, I feel so pathetic writing that because I know better, God's got a place for me too (Eph. 2:10)! Lord, come heal me!
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Paul. But, more because of this statement and the fact that it is my current challenge since I didn't start seminary this semester because it wasn't the right time but also because I was afraid that I wasn't smart enough to make it through it:
Pg. 57, "The beauty of Paul wasn't his superhumanity but his unwillingness to let his weaknessess, feelings, and fears override his faith. Like us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself."
Yes. YES! I even said that outloud when I first read it. I "know myself" and the failure I am capable of (and, Lord have mercy, have done), and it scares me half to death to think about failing God again. But, I love that Paul was his own worst enemy yet that didn't have the power to stop him from allowing God to use him.
Marcia
MI
50's
Angela
Canada
40
Married
Oh I hope Iam not to late to join you I didn't think I would be able to get a book. But yahhh!! I did. Iam so excited about this I walked into the store and asked them if they had your new book.I was not even enbarassed the dear lady didn't give me any funny looks thank goodness or I may have burst out crying.God has been showing me this week through the study Esther and through your book that I can't wait to get rid of this thing called insecurity or the devils strong hold.
I can't thank you and your family enough for all the books for us women and for your openness about your own struggles.
Thank you
expecting great things
Loretta
Wiggins, MS
30's
Divorced (mom of 3)
I want to thank God, you, and your staff for loving on me…you have no idea…nor do I since I don't know how to put it into words….Just know between you (this blog and book and Wed w/ you on Life Today along with Joyce Meyers)
Father my life is Yours, do with me as You see fit, I trust You to give me what I need to do Your will in Jesus name-amen.
(I tried not to post a prayer…God just would let me.)
And on the lines of insecure people reading books on insecurity…I was in the car today outside a Christian Book Store in Gulfport, MS (my sister-in-law had to run in for something so I sat in the car to read and stay with the baby) on the side of the building where we were parked was a huge ad for the book…the thought never really crossed my mind to take off the sleeve (I use it as my book mark), but I did go through a little daydream of what someone might think had they noticed me in the right angle to where they could see the store window…"Man, she couldn't even wait to get home?" (Since they wouldn't know mine actually came in the mail.) "She must be in bad shape." But in light of what you said I had the thought of, "Well that's a step …an insecure women openly reading an book on insecurity…"
My false positive is independence/self reliance…which I see now is a total laugh since God wants us totally and completely dependent/reliant upon Him.
If I have to pick just one I identify with it would probably be Solomon because when I first read verses about "ask and you shall receive…" and Solomon's dealings with such, there was a pang deep in my heart where God planted that desire in me of His wisdom.
But with that being said it also feeds into my fp…because if I'm smart enough then i would/should be able to be independent. And for someone who was told they were a "slow learner" and who has a LD…. any smarts is good smarts but divine smarts…well its divine…
Donna
Miami, FL
60's – Yikes!
married
I just received my book today so haven't read a word yet. Hopefully, I can catch up quickly. But just by reading some comments, I can tell I'm going to relate.
Robin
50's
Married
Indialantic, Fl
My most prominent false positive- financial security, the sad part is to the world I have it! A close second is my weight. I have been a 6 and an 18, the world likes 6's better. Which leads me to the end of chapter 3 and why that SHOULD not matter:
To become more and more the person God placed inside of me and less the one I 'project to protect'. To live in God's truth and lay aside the world's truth.
Michelle form Holt thanks for sharing your off topic post…I'm glad I'm not the only one God won't let rest until I get what He is trying to tell me the way He wants me to understand it.
Amby
Lake Stevens, Wa
37 yrs
Blissfully Married!
I could definately relate to your shopping mall friend for having my appearance(weight) be my prominent false positive. The crazy part is I workout everyday and have for 14 years+ and still find the need to compare myself to the other "gym ladies" and not feel secure in the body God gave me.
I will definately be writing down the challenge stated at the end of Chapter 3 and putting it on every mirror in every bathroom in my house for me and my daughter to memorize!
I could most relate to Moses in chapter 4. I find myself often not feeling worthy of the things God asks of me. I know for sure "I have hidden myself among the baggage" more times that I can count!
April, 28, Single, North Stonington, CT
Thinking about my false positive was tricky. Sometimes I just think an ice cold coca-cola would solve everything :O) Ha. But for real, at first I thought it was money b/c I am wrapped up in school loans at the moment as I try to finish my education. The reality is though, I know I’ll pay them off eventually – so then I finally got honest with myself – it’s my looks. Thinking about them sometimes just stresses me out. I’ve often thought if I could just get my teeth fixed, I would be so happy. That is my false positive – they have been crooked since I got my new ones and I’ve never had the money to get them fixed. But you know as soon as I get a real job that is first on the agenda LOL. Until then, all my money goes to education and me working toward being secure with how God made me. I will work to embrace the challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. AMEN and praise Jesus. My life goal is to have a sold out heart to God. Now, it is that I will be sold out and secure in the person He desires me to become.
Paul has been an inspiration to me for years. The statement that struck right to my heart was, “the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of himself that would deny, destroy or distract from the great work of God in Him. The great work of God through him.” I have been striving for this 21 years, but it seems the more mature I grow in Christ the further from the goal I realize I am. Nothing would please me more than to live a day in which I truly was able to deny and destroy all that distracts me from Christ.
I love you guys. Thanks for sharing the journey
I'm sorry, but I just had to comment on the one from Anonymous who mentioned "cutting." I almost fainted when I saw that word. I also have a history of cutting, hurting myself in order to deal with how much I hated myself. It's awful, really. It's been about a year since I last cut, and I'm feeling like I don't need that outlet anymore, but I still have a stash of razor blades hidden away. Just in case? I don't know yet. It does make me sad however when I look at the marks and scars that run from my left inner arm to my wrist. I'm ashamed, yet they cannot ever be removed. A constant reminder…
Oh, but I just memorized I John 1:7 that tells me that the blood of Jesus Christ purifies me from all sin!! I just love that word "purifies"!! God be praised, He is able to heal… Anything!
49
married, second time around 🙂
PS – it never dawned on me that I would look insecure just by openly reading my book in public. After last week you guys seriously have me considering taking the book along without the cover now LOL.
1. I would say that my prominent false positive is that beauty would make me secure. I think if I was in better shape, had better skin, a better smile, blue or green eyes, blonde hair “naturally” and larger breasts I would be more secure. Even though in my heart of hearts I know that is not true!! Besides that just means my prominent false positive would move to the next in line…..Popularity would make me secure. Oh the deception!!
2. “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.”
3. Saul resonated most with me. I feel like I always am dealing with Jealousy in some regard. Liking someone and despising them all at the same time. Someone we admire but who also makes us feel threatened and insecure. The fear that they have something I don’t and are going to be liked by “All” better because of it.
I’ve been at the place before of being in need of “urgent care” and it wasn’t until I stopped my rebellion against God and was obedient to Him and started praying for the person that God changed ME instead!!
Erin
Glendale, CALIFORNIA
32
Happily Married
Most prominent false positive: approval from spiritual "giants" in my world. When I feel disapproved of by them, I tend to equate it w/being disapproved of by God…yes, I've heard of the term "idolatry."
Challenge: to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship.
My Bible character "look-alike" is Peter. Not mentioned in the chapter, but I'm in a season of failure in which I have "gone fishing" as Peter did at the end of John. I'm watching for Jesus to call to me from the seashore, fix me a big breakfast and call me back into His service.
Edmond, OK
38
single
Karen
Dover, NH
40's
Single
1. My prominent fals positive is feeling if I had someone who loved me I'd be more secure. My parents cared for me but were emotionally distant. I never felt loved by them. And I've never been married so I don't know what it is like to be loved by a husband.
2. We must allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection, to see the treasure we are.
3. I think Paul's way of putting himself down when he actually was very intelligent and a "super apostle" in his own right resonated with me. I can feel insecure about my intellectual abilities at times even though I know God has gifted me in this area.
Holly
Lexington, SC
20's
Married
1. My main false positive is that if I had the admiration and confidence of more people…somehow their great thoughts about me would give me a higher esteem of myself.
2.My Challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I relate to Saul in the Bible…let me help someone else rise up and become something of themselves, but don't dare let them rise too far above my achievements and accomplishments; make sure I am recognized(man, that is really hard to actually type out and read, but it is in my head)
My false positive….is when I am work I am it all. I am a nurse and know that I am good at what I do, Its like I have this all undercontrol. Almost to perfection. Then I walk out those office doors at the end of the day and my attitude of failure starts mom, wife, and friend
1.I think the popularity false positive is the one that most suites me, but not in the high school sense. I don't want to be "the most popular girl" I just want to feel liked and accepted for who I am by those around me.
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship!
3. Paul for sure. I bet he had many nights when he went to bed thinking "Man, I wish I wouldn't have said that!" or "I should've said it this way" or "I shouldn't have said anything at all" ….I've had many of those conversation with myself at night. I call it "scolding myself to sleep" lol.
Ohio, 30's, married
ok, I am like the most insecure of all of you but my man is about to take a life-changing job in Birmingham, al. We desperately need a rental that will take the best friend a man ever had, my 98 lb lab Buddy. We are still holding a mortgage on our home and need something real cheap, desperate, sorry Beth, need help. I am praying hard and these are the best friends I know…help in two weeks or 4 at the latest
Nelli
Kingsport, TN
20s
Married
1. I compare myself a lot to other women. I often hear myself say this false-positive to myself about women who are attractive, outgoing, or successful: "If I was her, then I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I would have it made".
2. TO LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE AND COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF US IN JESUS CHRIST OVERTAKE THIS EARTHEN VESSEL UNTIL IT DRIVES EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, AND RELATIONSHIP.
3. Moses for sure! I don't know how many times when God has called me to do something for Him that makes me uncomfortable, my first response is to not only remind myself about every insecurity I have but also to remind God about them too. This statement shook me to the core: "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities". I had to break out the yellow highlighter on that one. Lord help me not to be one of those people.
Joyce
Cyril, Ok
Married
The big "insecurity" is making me question_where did this come from,
why didn't I get help with it earlier when I was in counselling and how am I going to deal with with it in the future.
I went to a Christian counselor who I thought could help me because I had all these same feelings for years. Yet, I felt rejected by her and I felt she gave up on me. For no reason she just came down really hard on me one day when I deceided I wanted to trust God and stop coming to counselling. I never understood what happened there. My trust in my counsellor was crushed. It made me feel more insecure.
I hope now God will help me through this. I need all the prayers I can get.
Erin, 50ish, married ,small town ,Oregon
In regards to my false positive: I had a hard time coming up with a more specific answer, no there were just a lot of them. So I’m putting them into two categories comfort and significance. No, I can do this , pressed to name one specific false positive, how about to be a great communicator. You don’t know how hard I’ve worked to put this into a few simple sentences that somewhat makes sense!
"When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have , there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us." the challenge.
Moses lack of ability and thinking it depended on his ability,, yep that would be me.
Jennifer
Colorado Springs, CO
40's
Married
1. My false positive is my weight. I've had two babies in 3 years and still can't fit into my "before baby" clothes. I'm convinced that my life will be o.k. again when I can fit into my skinny jeans.
2. " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. I relate most to Sarai and Hagar. My husband had an affair several years ago with every woman's basic nightmare. The worst part of it is that it was mostly my fault. Yes, I know he made a bad choice, but to this day I feel like I was the one responsible. Sexual intimacy has always been difficult for us–for me. Rather than trying to figure things out and get help, I rebelled and my man did what men do when they are convinced their wife doesn't love or want them. I feel like I put that other woman in his arms and then was devestated when he went. By God's grace alone we have been saved and restored. But, I still fear that I will mess it up again.
The Journey Continues ~
I need to comment on Devin's post.
Feb 18, 5:15 PM
You are a breath of fresh air!!!!
My son is thrilled to hear that there are young women out there that are keeping their most precious love for their mate. He too is a virgin and will continue to do so until he says his vows.
We admire your honesty!
Stand Firm in your journey!!
There is a wonderful man waiting for you ~ GOD WILL GUIDE HIM TO YOU!!!
(((( HUGS )))))
I will answer questions in next blog comment.
Just had to JUMP FOR GLORY AND DO A JESUS JIG IN MY HOME AFTER READING SUCH A TOUCHING POST FROM DEVIN!!!!
Portland, OR
20's (29)
Single
1. My definitely FALSE Positive-
If I could just eat anything I wanted whenever I wanted, the rest of my life would be so easy. Food fixes things.
2. Dear God, please let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. Sarai. Jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat. Ouch. I have done before what she once did. I willingly shared my man in an attempt to confront and ease my insecurity. I am Sarai. And I am sorry.
I was thinking of the term INSECURITY – and realized that what we are really seeking is to be IN – SECURITY, and the only true place we can be in security is when we are in Christ – He is our only chance for security. So I am seeking to go from insecurity to being IN SECURITY.
I thank you for this book which I just received this Thursday, and am planning to read along with you, not rushing ahead. There is so much to process, but Beth, you are touching on so many important issues, and I am grateful that you are so obedient to God to bare your soul as you have.
Two false positives – appearance/weight and that is linked to the other one which is the belief that having a loving earthly parent would have changed things. I never felt affirmed by my parents, was told I was ugly and stupid – and for a time I felt that weight would protect me from abuse. I still use weight as a way to stuff down feelings.
Restatement of purpose: I want to be filled so much with the things of God that satan has no room to attack me on the realm of insecurity. We cannot think two thoughts simultaneously, so I am praying that my thoughts are so filled with God that every emotion, reaction and relationship shows forth His love. Let His light crowd out the negatives. I don't know why God chose this earthen vessel from before the creation of the earth, but I am so grateful He did, and now I want Him to mold me and shape me, getting rid of those rough edges (which includes insecurity) so that I am a vessel that is beautiful in His eyes and able to be used by Him so that HIS GLORY can be seen by others.
I think I identify most with the woman at the well – in fact it was her story that began to touch my heart for Christ – as a young adult I had gone through so many relationships, never settling. One week my pastor taught on her, saying that if you have multiple relationships you leave a piece of yourself with many and you miss the sweet intimacy of only one husband. I was devastated and came sobbing to his office, sure that my life was ruined by my former choices before I was saved, even though I had been faithful to my current husband. My pastor assured me that IN CHRIST I was a new creation and the past was the past, no longer was i that person. I am still working on believing that, but grateful. By the way, I have been faithfully married to my husband 23 years.
Heather
married
50's
Shokan, NY
Suzanne, 34, married, TN
I just had to say…I laugh about this but I still do it – I find myself embarrassed about things I purchase at the grocery store, as if another shopper or a clerk is going to judge me because of a product I buy. And I'm not talking about anything that would *actually* be embarrassing, just regular stuff!! Also I've worked many years to not feel embarrassed about going to a restaurant alone – not a sit-down place but a fast food joint or coffee shop. How dumb is that? But PEOPLE WILL KNOW I AM INDULGING IN SOME EDIBLE TREAT OR THAT I AM EATING! What if they see my car outside and know I'm in there?!?! I told you it was dumb. And I have a completely healthy relationship with food otherwise. So ridiculous. And I had to tell you that I ordered the book online specifically so I didn't have to go into a bookstore and purchase it!! Oh, man…I've come a long way but I have a long way still to go. Thank you, Beth, for writing this book. I'm already changing some of my ways because of it and trying harder to "fake it till I make it" security-wise. I'm even covertly studying other women I know who seem very secure and trying to figure out what qualities they all share. (So far, I'm noticing that all or most of them have strong, close relationships with their sisters and/or mothers. I think a lot of our collective security issues are related to other women – junior high "mean girls" were my first major trigger.) Anyway – bless you for writing this book and bless us all as we wage this war!
Denise K G.R. MI, 30's Married.
I wrestled with my false positive, goodness knows I have a little in MANY areas! But scary enough as it sounds…I can't believe I am actually posting this…it is this: If I could know and understand my Bible better like "they" all do, God and others would be more pleased with me, and I wouldn't feel so insecure about my heart and Love I have for God. So instead, when I lead bible studies I will just make sure my hair is really big, and my makeup looks nice. Take the focus off my 'brain'. WOW!…am I really THAT insecure?? Praise God, that I do TRULY AND SINCERELY LOVE HIM!!
Please Lord, drive out all my insecurities, but especially help me to stand firm in my heart for you!
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part ofus increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, HAVE, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are (ARE). And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17)
My most prominent false positive is my attractiveness, and believe me, things have been on pretty insecure ground for quite awhile!! I can laugh now, but I have been literally PLAGUED with insecurity for a very very long time. I am so excited about this study. I hope I go into this like a tiny mouse on Noah's boat and come out a mighty lioness for Zion. I am tired of insecurity; it has kept me down for way too long. I am ready to make a movement for the Lord without fear of rejection or retaliation.
Mindy
Denise
20's
Married
Missouri
I, like many others I've read over so far, have determined I have more than one false positive. One, losing weight. And honestly, for me, I'm even more specific – I really hate the pouch that I feel is my stomach and anytime I see another woman that has a body I envy, I've found I automatically look at how flat her stomach is. The second one is career successful women. I look at women older than me and think about if I'll be there one day and I compare myself to women the same age as me.
The challenge is to allow the truth of God to completely eclipse take over our insecurities.
I am sorry, I am doing this wrong, but will have it right next week:) I identify with Saul and his jealousy of David. In the past several years I have even prayed for help in this area because I thoroughly love the person directly involved; and she cares for me as well. I honestly wasn't able to figure out my emotions completely until reading that part in the book!! (It is amazing how our psyches can keep us blinded from understanding things through.) And it is funny, but the passages of Saul and David were the ones that I put before the Lord to help me with/through. I could not accept the fact that I had as much to offer as this other person but in a different role; my perception was that our coworkers saw me as a lesser person than her and highly dispensible. I finally had to step down from a leadership role in our unit because I felt useless and incompetent. I also had such significant self doubt, to the point that I became unstable emotionally. (Again, through it all I was aware of the Saul/David saga). I prayed for revelation, and the Lord gave it to me. He told me to work for Him; he would see that I prosper. So I did, and things are much better. This whole process has brought my husband and I much closer and my faith in the Lord is so much stronger now, as if it hadn't existed at all prior. All things do work for good to those who believe the Lord.
Amy, 30's, married, Georgia
Most prominent false positive–knowledge and/or weight. I'm a homeschooler and sometimes don't feel I'm up to the job.
The challenge, and my challenge, is to replace my false positives (big and small) with Truth so that I may live completely for Him and Him alone.
Most identify with Saul. I am an encourager at heart, but often find that I am then jealous and fear what someone else has accomplished even when I encouraged them to do so.
First, I have to say:
Bridget – I'm sorry you felt bad about your personal post. I don't think you dishonored your husband, and in fact, you helped me! I didn't realize this was a big FP for me until I read your post. A voice saying "If only my husband wanted to be intimate with me more often, I'd be confident and secure. It would prove I was pretty, desirable, loveable…" has softly been running in the background of my mind for a long time.
My husband is a Godly, loving man who works very long, hard days. I need to cut him some slack and not put so much importance on this. Mostly I need to give it to God.
A side story: I had to ask the Barnes & Noble employee exactly where the book was located. Christian section? New Releases? Best Sellers? (Turns out it was on a table right at the front I had missed!) She looked at me over her glasses as she read the title off her computer screen. She even gave me "elevator eyes." I can only imagine what she was thinking as I have big highlighted hair, full face of makeup, foofy jewelry and she was the scholarly-looking type.
I wanted to yell "YES, I am insecure. Just take me to the STINKING book!"
Bless you Beth, for all your hard work. And Bless you ladies for all facing your hangups and talking about them. May God free us all!
Katherine
Edmonton, AB Canada
30s
Married
My false positive is a combination of all the ones listed. I guess to sum it up it would be "If I had it all then I would be really happy." I remember when I didn't have the credentials I thought I would be secure. So I got the credentials. Same thing goes for being married to a great guy, having financial security and for being popular. The one I am still lacking in is feeling happy with what I see in the mirror. You are correct in saying no one solitary thing on the entire planet can secure everything else. It seems like I am living in a constant need to keep filling that empty hole.
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship."
I related to Saul's insecurity especially the part that suggests he liked and despised David. This is so true. I often respond this way to people who I admire and yet there is something about them that I find threatening.
I have to laugh because this past week, I too was feeling a little insecure about carrying around a book about insecurity. Even thought about taking the cover off as well until a 70-something lady asked me if it was a good book. It was then that I realized the issue of insecurity is ageless and I was going to fight the temptation to be insecure and embrace it all the way to freedom. Perhaps by facing ours openly, it will give a few others the courage to come along. Love to all!!
Bena (sounds like Renee)
Pikeville, KY
49, married
Kathy
Springfield, MO
40's
married
1) My false positive is striving for success and credentials.
2) The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3)I identify most with Moses because I often just don’t feel competent enough for a task or feel that others respond well to my leadership attempts. I am overly sensitive to criticism and sometimes don’t understand how to use it to better a situation or myself.
Oh my goodness Beth, this is so TOUGH! Its only the 2nd week. I had to read 3&4 twice. The first time the enemy was not having it. After praying and begging Christ to help me, I spoke out loud (actually sobbed)to my husband my false positive. This morning I was able to reread the chapters with much more clarity and Christ was speaking to me the whole time.
1. My most prominent false positive is "Having a gift of value to God and using it to bring others into relationship with him". I just don't feel like I have anything of value to offer Him. I have a friend that has an incredible gift and God is using her in amazing ways. I want that SOOOOOO bad. What an awesome privilege to be able to help others to healing. I DIDN'T REMOVE THE COVER OFF MY BOOK B/C I SO WANT TO HAVE A GIFT (NOT YOUR GIFT, BUT MINE) THAT EDIFIES THE BODY.
2. I am so praying that I will allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we ARE.
3. I probably identify with Moses the most but I want to be like Paul, "daily dying to the part of himself that would deny, destro, or distract from the great work of God in him and through him."
Joy
Chattanooga, TN
30's- working mother of 3
married
Toni
Forsyth, MO
50's
Married
1. My prominent False Positives are money and being thin again. I don't want millions of dollars but would like just a little more than what we do have. There was a time when I was so skinny that I actually tried to put on weight. Oh, to have those days back again.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses – No matter what the task is, I always feel incompetent to do it and there is someone else who can do it better.
1. My prominent false positive was my need to be loved to feel secure, and thinking that being thin and physically attractive is the key to being loved. But, thank God, He has shown me otherwise over the past few years and has done a great work in me. I truly believe, Beth, that your book is going to solidify everything and drive it home! I am not removing the outer cover and I want other women to see what I'm reading because I want to encourage & inspire ALL women to read your book.
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Moses most resonates with me in my present phase of life. I am insecure and lack confidence in my ability to lead or even just pray out loud. I have often refused when asked & feel like I am not fulfilling my destiny.