So Long Insecurity Week One!

Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.

We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.

I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.

So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.

OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.

2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.

3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?

To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.

Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.

For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.

No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.

Thank you for coming!

Lord, be magnified.

In His lavish love,


1,429 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week One!”

If you'd like your own pic by your comment, go to Click the first button "Get your gravatar today ->", and it will walk you through a simple process to select a picture.


  1. 1051
    Christy says:


    Question #1 ~ Ever since I read this question it's been painfully obvious how insecure I am. I have insecure thoughts at every turn it seems. My massive struggle with it is evident in the fact that I have not made one friend since I moved to this city almost 4 years ago. I could go on and on but I've just felt like I don't have much to offer someone else and I'm scared to death I'm going to do or say the wrong thing. Wow – I can't believe I wrote that, and that that is how I really feel. Yikes. Thanks so much for this book (Jesus & Beth)!

    Question #2 ~ Chronic self-consciousness, anxiety about our relationships (or lack thereof), constant fear of rejection. It resonates because, unfortunately, IT'S WHO I AM (for now).

  2. 1052
    Christy says:

    I should have added that I'm insecure enough to NOT have written in my book yet. What if someone picks it up someday and reads it and KNOWS that I bought the book because I'm insecure. Oh dear. What am I thinking???????? Who cares! I'm off to write.

  3. 1053
    Victoria says:

    Thomasville, NC

    1)Wow. Insecurity has such an overall presence in my life that it is hard to point it out.
    Being in a marriage that God raised from the ashes of a decade of adultery and sexual addiction, I wrestle with insecurity in a new way than during those years in the dark. Naivety was my worst enemy and somehow my best friend during that time. Today, I know the signs of infidelity and often find myself spotting those signs and it's as if the deed is as good as done simple because I thought it. Nothing could be further from the truth, and my marriage shows it, but the signs send me reeling. Tiny things become red flags waving in the winds of my insecurity and not a bit of it is based on the reality of my marriage today. So frustrating and worse, it often feels like I'm denying God's healing work in my marriage…almost 4 years of healing and I ignore it each time I allow myself to suspect what I know isn't happening. I don't know if that makes any sense…I suppose it all boils down to this one repeated fear. I wasn't good enough then, how could I possibly be good enough now? So I wait for the other shoe to drop.

    2)"The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate."

    No statement has ever summed my issues up more succinctly. If I feel betrayed, I wonder whether I really was or I just over estimated the commitment of the betrayer. When I feel God leading me to this or that, I wonder if I made up the call. When I'm offended, I rationalize my way out of pain and try to reconcile at my cost. I die to be understood. I'm so over this!

  4. 1054
    The Moore Family says:

    The Last time I faced insecurity: Last week, I was having an awful time with issues with friends… why are girls so mean to each other? Anyways after 'making up' I began to feel horrible about everything because I am a person who worries and cares way to much about my friendships and even when they did the wrong in the relationship I fell like I am to blame.

    The ENTIRE definition, can I say that?

  5. 1055
    Hartman Family says:

    For me the answer to both questions came down to the "intensity" of insecure traits.

    1. Since moving to TX a few years ago, I've noticed a big difference in the public appearance (as in nearly flawless) of the women here as opposed to other places I've lived. Certainly, I'm not opposed to looking good or anything like that, but I get the impression that it's more than that…an intensity of the feeling that if I appear less than perfect (especially in public) than I'm not the woman I should be.
    2. Simply, intensity here. Like Beth, I don't believe I possess all the traits of insecurity, but DO possess some of them with a tail-spinning intensity that (if unchecked by the Holy Spirit) consumes and even sometimes debilitates me. It's completely and utterly scary and frustrating and I like many of you WANT IT TO CHANGE!

    Amarillo, TX

  6. 1056
    Beverly says:

    1. Someone asked where I worked and I just told them I was retired. That's my answer most of the time. Truth is I am disabled. To look at me you might not understand that, but there are lots of different types of disabilities. I have always had self-esteem issues, but since my disability it seems like they've multiplied.
    2. The definition that resonated with me was the rejection one and the chronic lack of confidence in myself and anxiety about my relationships.
    Philadelphia, MS

  7. 1057
    Rhonda says:

    1. Just about every day. Measuring myself up to my friends and never measuring up in my own eyes. The pressure to look just so, drive this vehicle, live in this type of house, have well behaved children, the list goes on…
    2. "…chronic lack of confidence in ourselves…" Beth hit the nail on the head for me when she said "Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism".

  8. 1058
    Katie says:

    2. Every Wednesday night. I lead a small group of high school girls and the insecurity issue seems to permeate almost all the other issues, and sometimes even be the cause of the other issues.

    3. The self-conscious. When I had my first kid I gained about 30pounds that have still hung around. On a 5'2 frame, it makes a big difference. I always thought it was just the weight that made me self-conscious, that I was fine, or secure before. But after reading about being aware of everyone else in the room…I knew this isn't a new struggle but one that has been around as long as I can remeber and has morphed it's ugly being into many different forms depending on where I'm at in life.

  9. 1059
    melba says:


    ?# 1. The answer is Today, Home is the setting. Just woke up and have to hurry to get to work on time. 101 things on my mind but most of all today is our 38th wedding ann.
    Gave my hubby kiss Good Bye and wished him Happy Ann. (We just talked last night about going out Sat. because we would do movie and supper) His response was oh yea I forgot. No not mad a little hurt we just talked about it. Perfect timing week one and good way to start week two right.
    ?#2. Let's just say nail on the head with them all.
    God Bless you Beth Moore, Thank You !!!!!

  10. 1060
    Abi Pachal says:

    So thankful for the chance to travel this road with all of you.

    1.)Since insecurity plagues me more often than not, many examples come to mind. I just never feel good about my physical appearance and am always feeling stupid in social situations. It seems I’m changing outfits a million times or running through the last conversation over and over again to see if I came off sounding all right. Finding myself always comparing myself to others and coming up inadequate. And just feeling like I have to be this type of girl or that type of girl if I ever want to be interesting or exciting or likeable or loveable.

    2.)I think the part about “chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships” really hit home. Just the constant battle with insecurity for year upon year, where it just seems like nothing will change and no matter what you do will ever be good enough.

    I can’t tell you how ready I am to break these darn chains!

    Arvada, CO

  11. 1061
    Simply Sara says:

    Self doubt.
    I live in it everyday. I breath it in almost every situation.

    Sometimes I think I'm getting better and try to convince myself that I don't care what others think of me, but if I'm being honest I just do. I DO care if people like me and think I am " of worth".

    With all my heart, I long to say goodbye to insecurity.
    Thank you Beth for walking this through with me.

    So excited to finish this book as a SECURE WOMAN!

  12. 1062
    corrie says:

    1. Insecurity creeped up in particular this week with the same old same old situation of trying to be set up/fixed up with a guy and the thought of rejection paralyzes me into the inability to even say yes or go out with him.
    2." A deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth, constant fear of rejection." hit me square between the eyes. Especially in the light of being a child of God knowing what my worth is in his eyes, it still kills me.

  13. 1063
    Anonymous says:

    Clovis, NM

    Well……daily I am faced with my insecurities…….from if I look good enough, am thin enough, am a good wife, am a good mother, am I studying enough, am I a good nurse, am I the child that God wants me to be, ……..etc. Yes, I worry about pleasing others……..UGH
    The statement that keeps reverberating in my mind is "the insecure woman lives in constant fear of rejection…." That is me!!!! I so want to overcome this and be more secure in everything I do. Thank you Beth for the opportunity to study and learn in this type of atmosphere!!!

  14. 1064
    corrie says:

    didn;t leave my info;)


  15. 1065
    BeechemBrightSpots says:

    1. I love the idea of writing a letter to Jesus in the front of my book! I've never done that before, but it just might become a new tradition for me! 🙂

    2. I struggle with TWO big insecurities…1. getting other people’s approval of what I am doing/thinking, and 2. my weight. I’ve dieted off & on almost my entire life (for at least 25 years & I’m only 39!) and honestly, I’m really tired of trying. Almost 2 years ago, we uprooted our family to follow God’s calling to Malakoff, and I gained about 25 pounds in the process (stress, depression, eating out convenience, etc.). Now, I know I need to lose the weight but I don’t even have the motivation to do so anymore. It’s so irritating…especially when I live around so many SKINNY women! And now our current Bible study at church is "Lies Women Believe" and she keeps talking about how overeating is a sin! 🙂

    3. There were so many parts of the definition that resonate with me…”self-consciousness, lack of confidence, anxiety about relationships, fear of rejection, and uncertainty about whether my feelings & desires are legitimate” to name a few. Different parts of this definition seem to affect me more during different seasons of life. It seems that the one that most affects me now is the uncertainty about my desires as my husband & I feel that God is calling us to make some major (good) changes in our lives. But what will everyone else think???

    This weekly assignment is HARD…having to truly evaluate my thoughts/beliefs/actions! I'm glad you are asking us to do it! It will be so good for us in the end! Thank you for your inspiration!

  16. 1066
    BeechemBrightSpots says:

    OOPS…I forgot to put my info…

    Malakoff, TX

  17. 1067
    Aundi says:

    Gig Harbor, WA
    almost 20's

    a little late, but better late than never, right!

    I am a mess of insecurities, especially lately. I just graduated high school last year and was ready to get out of town and go off to college. That never happened. I am living at home finishing up my degree at a community college watching all my friends having the time of their life at college. I constantly find myself questioning myself, and am incredibly insecure about what I am going to do next year.

    The idea that insecurity's best cover is perfection, hit me the hardest. I don't know how to explain it, but it sure stirred something up in me!

  18. 1068
    Andrea says:

    1. Speaking in front of a whole group of women and feeling as if I said something stupid. Then over analyzing it in my mind over and over again constantly thinking of mistakes. Also body envy of the olympic women which is .00000001% of women world wide. Give me a break:)
    2.feelings of self-doubt and feeling inferior to others.

    thank you so much for this book and this blog- you are a blessing!
    Lancaster, PA

  19. 1069
    Anonymous says:

    Michelle,30's, married, San Antoni, TX

    1. Just now!! We live in a gated community, so people have to call to be buzzed in. A flower delivery man just called. He had flowers for me from my husband in Iraq. I checked myself in the mirror. "Do I look pretty enough to be getting flowers?" "Should I meet him outside or does that look too eager????" I decided to wait inside and just look out, but then I started frantically picking up kids shoes, hats…etc. LOL

    2. "Everyone who is insecure is usually sensitive to a fault…lives in consant fear of rejection and a deep unceranintly about theather her feelings are legitimate". Why? I am very sensitive about everything! You've never met a person who apologizes so much!! Most of the time people have no idea what I'm talking about! Why? Physical & verbal abuse from my parents, molestation from family members and friends of family as a child, abandonment through my parents divorce, and the "Dark Years" of my teens filled with sexual sin.

    Praise God for pulling me out of so many pits!!

  20. 1070
    Savta's Sentiments says:

    1.I cannot believe the timing of this book (really I can as that is how our faithful Abba is)!! I am a pastor’s wife and have many opportunities to invest in the lives of other ladies. I was recently faced with a mountain of insecurity that I did not realize was there to the degree that it surfaced. A woman that had made many poor choices in her life had really turned her life toward the King. She remarried after a long period of time of singleness to a godly man. I mentored her very closely for about a year before she married, as well as the months following their wedding. After six months of marriage she left him, the assembly, and our friendship without a word or call. I was shocked and devastated because of all the time that I had spent with her, she never alluded to any desire to return to her former lifestyle. I examined and re-examined myself to see if there was anything else I could have done during our time together to prevent this from happening. The wide range of emotions truly caught me off guard. I realized that I need to yield my insecurities to the Lord and then this book comes out. Thank you Lord!!! And thank you Beth for your obedience to the call.
    2.The part of the definition that resonated most for me was “deep uncertainty about whether my feelings and desires are legitimate.

    Lucedale, Ms

  21. 1071
    Anonymous says:

    1- I am coming face to face with it constantly. Spouse's career brings him in contact with women who are strippers and who market themselves via their online websites. That makes me feel so inferior, insecure and like I have to compete with those women or lose his love. Then he tells me that those people photoshop their pictures. So does that mean that no matter how good they may look that they also feel they have to use technology to “perfect” their image for their “sales” of themselves? So much of our insecurity is rooted in our external looks. Much of mine is I know.

    2. page 17 – “a profound sense of self doubt, a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. … a chronic self consciousness along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships…lives in constant fear of rejection.”

    That is very much me. Constantly wanting to please, to placate, to stay in favor so that I will not be cast out and rejected. Willing to do anything to achieve that. Feeling that I am somehow bad or wrong and that is why I am so overlooked or worthless to others that it seems to be easy for them to forget about me or to “reject” me. Feeling like an outsider always or someone who does not have a place in the world or if I do achieve a “place” that it could instantly be taken away by forces beyond my control. And leave me to wonder what I did wrong to cause it to happen. Afraid even in the happy moments of a relationship that just around the corner waiting to hit me like a brick in the moment I relax and feel secure in the relationship is “The End” the “Rejection” along with the shame, humiliation and embarrassment attached.

  22. 1072
    Amandahugnkiss says:

    1)I was recently considered for a promotion with 6 other ladies at my office. I prayed. My husband and I prayed. I had other people praying. I got the call and found out that I was not chosen. I had asked for the strength to handle the decision either way it fell. I was ok with it….until I found out there were actually 2 positions and I did not get either. In my heart I was prepared and was ok when I had heard that I did not get the 1 position I thought was available. But, when I heard there were actually 2 and I did not get either, I broke. It was like I took a punch, was proud I was still on my feet and could handle it, when out of nowhere- BAM!- a second punch. Since I didn't see the second one coming it took the breath out of me. My insecurities flooded me and I questioned everything. Lord, why am I in this position, why not me, why them, what did I do, what did I not do,why,why,why? All of the things I tell others when things don't turn out as hoped stung me with truth: It was not God's will this time, better things are to come, He works all things for good for those that serve Him, He has a plan, He will help you through this, be thankful for what you do have. I knew it was true, but it was still hard and I still cried stroking my insecurities as they sat in my lap and purred my name.
    2) I struggle with a "a deep feeling of uncertainty about…(my) place in the world." I often ask and am still waiting to hear what my purpose/usefulness is for Christ in this world.

    Wilmington, NC (ocean side)
    30's and loving it
    Happily Married

  23. 1073
    He gave me running says:

    So if i lived in Anchorage it would still be Thursday morning so i'm not late? Sad to say I don't live there and yes i'm late so I hope i'm not left out! (yep there's the insecurity!)

    1. Every morning I straighten my hair. I've told my man the it's his job to tell me if "my horns" are sticking out on the sides of my head. After church one Sunday, yes i said C.H.U.R.C.H., (btw i'm on the praise team and sing in front of the entire congregation) my husband places his hand on my head and brushes my hair in a smoothing kindof way. I asked him what he was doing? He said "One of your horns is sticking out." I WAS HORRIFIED! Yep i'd been up on that stage for atleast 20 minutes in plain view where absolutely every person could see this hair that JUTS out from the side of my head like i have ear muffs on underneath!

    2. I didn't think i needed to read the book until i started reading. After the first couple of pages I realized I was probably the most insecure person on the planet! I fear I am a failure at love and relationships. I'm constantly wondering if there is something I should be doing for someone. Maybe it's approval that i'm after? I'm a peacemaker and heart and DO NOT like confrontation. Maybe that's an approval issue?

    Kari Ann
    Hawkinsville, GA

  24. 1074
    Michele says:

    What resonates the most with me is when Beth writes (on page 15), "Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts, for all practical purposes, are largely unproductive or at the very least, tentative?" In a nutshell, that is me and how I allow insecurity to manifest itself in my life. God has gifted me with a heart for and an understanding of teenage girls their struggles, relationships, pains and joys. My insecurities are currently in control, so therefore, I am not being obedient in using my gifts accordingly. One of my prayers and greatest hopes is that, through this study, I will begin to find the confidence and determination to do what I know I am supposed to be doing.

  25. 1075
    Forever His says:

    Ok here goes………

    1) This is going to sound totally stupid but being insecure in even posting to this….I kept putting it off and then the comments closed which I thought was surely God’s favor (lol) only to discover now it is re-opened. Needless to say I desperately need God’s touch in my life….so many areas. Insecurity in just facing myself every day and especially when I see 3 small sets of eyes daily looking to me for answers knowing inside that if they could really see “inside” me for a moment they would think God was absolutely crazy for entrusting them to me.
    2) Several parts of the definition struck a chord with me….self-doubt tops the list by far and the enemy constantly reminds me of my past taunting me that there is no way that God could ever make use of such as a mess as me in His Kingdom. And although I “know” that is far from truth I still struggle to truly “believe”. I often tell myself that I should just be happy that He took me back after everything I have done especially since the large majority of it was while claiming Him as Lord.

    In some strange way I find this all funny in that I feel like God has basically backed me into a corner….(this book plus the fact that our ladies group at church is working through a book called “Captivating” which has also sent me reeling to say the least) no way out except dealing with this “stuff”. I just know that I am so sick of being this way and yet so scared to walk this journey….I pray He gives me the courage to continue to take each step cause Lord knows it’s a struggle not to just throw both books down and high tail it the other way….but have a feeling I would run into Him that way also (LOL)

    Late 30’s

  26. 1076
    Katie says:

    2. Uh, this morning! I was watching other moms with their kids and they were skinny and their kids behaved perfect. Me? Not so much. Pregnant with two rambunctious boys….great place for insecurity to set-up camp!

    3. What spoke to me most was the results of insecurity–leading to perfectionism. I really struggle with that. I feel like there are some things that I CAN control, and those I go to the limit, and that's just the backlash of my insecuirty in other areas. Very enlightening!

    Bakersfield, CA

  27. 1077
    His Jules says:

    1.The most recent incident of insecurity was just this week when my husband who has suffered for years from chronic inability to sleep due to a spinal cord injury grinned and said "you've got so many people praying for me at church that I am sleeping so well I can't get up on time." I was very grateful and then that old insecurity rose up in me with the thought of "so it was accomplished with the whole church praying, but your prayers weren't enough". Immediatly I knew right where those thoughts had come from.
    2…."she can be a complicated mix of confidence and self-consciousness." Self consciousness and the false positives also resonates with me, and boy,did you bust me on this one – that my self-doubts and fears could actually be pride sticking up its ugly head really made me sick with myself.

    40's married

  28. 1078
    Michelle says:

    1) daily I see struggles with insecurity but today at my bible study I was amazed at ho unsure we all are of our answers and can't bring ourselves to say what we wrote and then when we do all of us say something like " I don't know if this is right but…."
    2)ok well I have to say I never felt like I saw myself on a page of a book before but man that definition was a tough one to swallow. The part that got me was the profound self doubt a deep feeling of uncertainty. Yep thats me alright. I doubt everything and all things about myself.
    I am excited to read this book and be set free.
    Palm Bay Fl

  29. 1079
    Erika says:

    Albany, OR

    1. So I think I face insecurities everyday! Is my purse okay? Does my hair look right? Is she looking at me because of what I have on? Why can't I talk with my husbad about that, will he just reject my question? ECT, ECT, ECT. It is a daily battle for me and I'm ready to be RID OF IT!
    2. I really liked the first part of the definition, in fact I highlighted it in green…TWICE!

  30. 1080
    Lynds says:

    Lyndsey, single, 26, from PA

    I'm a little late for week one, but determined to complete everything!!

    1) A better question for me, would be when am I not faced with insecurity! I sadly find myself running into it everywhere I turn every day, and the more I read the book, and start to process things, its much more of a lifestyle for me then I realized. Definitely I fall into the chronic category. Well for my latest struggle, was going to a cake decorating class last night through the community education program. I'm never good with new situations, or with new people, though everyone tells me I am one of the most comfortable people to be around. So I stride into a middle school, searching for a cafeteria, holding my sad sad cake that didnt rise like it should, going to class. Long story short I did have a great time, when I finally decided to just have fun and not worry so much about doing everything right! I realized too that in being insecure, I try to make myself look confident, which just ends up making me seem snobbish or arrogant. Funny how that progression works!

    2) The part of the definition that most hit home, was the "chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships". After three years of very verbally abusive jobs, where my bosses just made their days by putting me down and stepping on me until I was huddled in the corner, hoping for a light "beating"… they finally convinced me I was nothing, and could do nothing right, ever. I recently left those jobs, and the area that I lived, and moved back home… to find I'm hopelessly lost, and feel like I'm barely able to do the most menial tasks. I'm afraid to work, which is quite the predicament seeing as I need to support myself to live!… also on the relationship front, I've been dreadfully anxious over some of my friendships… and how it seems no one cares about me anymore… everyone I held most dear, barely makes an effort, and after awhile I get quite weary of doing all the communicating.

  31. 1081
    marthahelen says:

    i'm gonna try to keep this concise. i just finished reading cpt 2 and i'm floored! which part of the definition/discussion of insecurity resonated with me?? i'm not even kidding.. all of it. (maybe i shouldn't add my name to the bottome of this post!) i feel like you have just read my very soul. and i can't even believe it! this is finally getting to the core of all these problems.. obsessive and debilitating self-consciousness.. feeling so unworthy of breath and of any value and constantly seeking approval from others, yet not being able to receive/accept it.. obsessive anxiety over any rifts in relationships.. people pleasing.. over-analyzing.. overly sensitive and easy to hurt.. perfectionism.. trying to blend in and be plain in some seasons of life and in others, trying to be in the spotlight (then hating it when i am).. its just RIDICULOUS. how have i been so blind to this?? and i realize that as i have floundered since graduating college and not knowing what to do with my life, this has been so much a part of it. certainly IF i thought i had any gifts then i would doubt them, over analyze them, devalue them, and just be safe and not use them so that i'm not "out there" where i can get hurt.

    i NEED to get free here. i'll be honest and say i think this issue for me is so overwhelmingly huge that i am scared i won't ever be free, even though my head "knows" better. insecurity defines me.. how could i ever operate without it?? who would i be??? maybe i don't even know the real me! insane.

    God would you do a miracle and set us free? set us free for Your namesake!

    asheville, NC
    20s, married

  32. 1082
    L says:

    This is my first post

    I have pretty much suffered from chronic insecurity since I got pregnant my freshman year of college and really have never gotten over it. I am married to a great guy with three beautiful children and live a great life, yet I don't feel worthy of any of it. I doubt everything from my christianity to my marriage and my parenting. I have been in counseling for the last couple of years as a result of cheating on my husband, with a woman, talk about rocking the security right from under ya. Now a single day doesn't go by with my question every core belief I've ever had. I question everything from my husbands forgiveness to my own sexuality, and how something like this could happen if God really answers prayers and doesn't want me to live like this then why did it happen and so on. So yeah I have a security problem, and I'm loving this book and hoping and praying that I will eventually heal from all the wrongs.

  33. 1083
    Kim says:

    1. Humorous – When I signed up for the roll call on Sunday, I hestitated to sign up because it was Sunday morning. In thinking about that hesitation, I realized that I was concerned about what people would think of me signing up on Sunday – "why aren't you at church girl?". (And – yes – I did go to church that day!)

    Not so humorous – I attend church with several close friends, and we are almost all in the same Life Group (small group). A trip was planned, and I was not included. My thoughts – "I'm not enough fun to be around" or "There's something wrong with ME that I wasn't included".

    2. "Deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate" This phrase impacted me the most. I hesitate so often in speaking up or sharing because I don't think that what I have to say really matters or is legitimate.


  34. 1084
    Lori says:

    Hi Siestas,
    1. Well I guess my most recent episode of insecurity is at this very moment. I have had a very busy week and I haven't had a chance to post so as I type right now I am fearful and uptight about not having my post done earlier. My first thought was why bother no one will care what you have to say you missed the deadline you loser!! But God has been stirring my heart all day saying I care and I want you to follow through so here I am worried what Beth and Amanda will think but trying to me faithful nonetheless.
    2. Where do I start I truthfully feel all the definitions of the word insecurity fits me to be honest. But if I had to pick one it would be the constant fear of rejection. Beth I am currently doing your Revelation study at our church and we are on week 4 the question on the bottom of Page 26 "What are you holding on to instead of holding out to Him." This question hit me hard when you were talking about the scroll and who is worthy of opening it. Boy oh boy I so want an outstretched hand goodness knows I would use two hands for him to take this burden of insecurity and fear. I am praying constantly to close this book secure and with palms open for I know He who is Worthy!! Bless you Siesta ladies and Thank You Beth, Amanda and Melissa you are heavenly blessings!!!

  35. 1085
    twinkle says:

    Oh the D.R.A.M.A. in my life right now when it comes to insecurity! I don't know what I would do without Jesus. I can honestly say that HE is my Rock.

    2. Simple. Washer has been broken since Thanksgiving (can you believe that?)

    By the way, laundromats make me feel insecure.

    Today, they delivered a brand spanking new one to replace it thanks to the extended warranty I bought when I purchased the one that stopped working. But before they came, I had to go put on make-up. Foundation, lip gloss, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara…I laughed at myself standing there putting on make-up. For delivery people.
    Is life all about how we look?

    2. Probably unrealistic expectations with others. I'm pretty sensitive to the needs of others, but then I feel bad when they don't reciprocate. I feel a sense of not being worthy of someone else's notice of my personal needs. I hate that. I want to love and not think twice about it or what I'll receive in return.

    Oh Lord, I am undone reading through all of these comments. Breaks my heart and I know it breaks Your's, too. Will You just do the healing we need? Will You make it lasting and unshakable? Will You make it last down through generations? Oh Great God, be merciful to us who are praying for release from insecurity and to be clothed in strength and dignity. No matter who or what wants to take it away from us. Be our Alpha and Omega. In Jesus Name. Amen.

  36. 1086
    twinkle says:

    And I am…
    Deborah, Dublin, GA, 50's, married but just barely. In fact, it's a miracle that I'm still married.

  37. 1087
    Pat from Kansas says:

    Had to be at work early so I am blogging in the afternoon instead of the morning.

    Nearly every Sunday when I teach a ladies Bible study class at our church. Although many in the class often tell me they enjoy it and learn alot, my two sister-in-laws do not attend. (this is the only ladies class at our small church). I often feel they don't come because the don't think I am worthy to be any kind of teacher.

    Definition of Insecurity: "…our place in the world." I am still trying to figure this one out. Does it really MATTER that I am here at all? Is it Ok that I like being the 'worker bee' and not the 'queen bee'? If I'm just a worker bee, then anyone can take my place, after all, right? (tears)

    Valley Center, Ks

  38. 1088
    Tammie says:

    I joined the book study because my spiritual life has been so dry, and I so desired female friends. When I started reading the book I was just blown away at how much it described me. Daily I feel not good enough to make an important contribution to the people in my life.

    I fear rejection so much that it is hard for me to tell my granddaughter "no" when I should. Heck I don't tell any family member "no".

    Skull Valley Az

  39. 1089
    Anonymous says:

    I am posting this anonymously because it involves someone else, and I don't think he wants this information to be made public…

    Married, 30's

    1. The last time I faced my own insecurity was June 2, 2009. I remember the date vividly. That's the day I discovered my husband's addiction to online porn. He had been battling it for over a year. Now, several months later, my head knows that this addiction is not 'about me', but my heart has not quite caught up. Before, I could probably name 10 things that I dislike about my looks… now I can name about 100. I never feel like I'm 'enough', and I wonder if I ever will.

    2. I related the most to "anxiety in relationships" and "constant fear of rejection". This has been amplified by the above situation, but I think I have always felt this way.

  40. 1090
    Anonymous says:

    Q2 I truelly take on the characteristics of the people around me.I've moved more times in my life than probably the # years I've been alive.(29)I know how to blend in with any crowd and at some point I sabotage my relationship by becoming dependent on friends for emotional needs and my sense of self-worth. I started this book just to do it with my sister but now I'm looking foward to God changing me.

    nearly 30:)
    Ft.Drum, NY

  41. 1091
    Chelsea says:

    Chelsea Paulson
    South Dakota
    Deaf Individual

    Greetings, I enjoyed the definition of insecurity through the introduction, chapter 1 and 2 readings.

    I was brought with many face expressions from my friends, seeing that I'm reading a book based on insecurity, "Why are you READING THIS BOOK? You are VERY secure person that I've ever known!"

    If they only knew what was really going on with my life, smile.

    For the first chapter, there are many deaf women out there are abused or insecure about their identities that they eventually evolve their identities completely into different dimensions, because of absence of God, they are leaving their natural roles of being a woman used by God to the other side.

    How you've written in chapter two spoke volumes for different definitions of insecurity was what I appreciated the most. I am secure with my looks, but I am not secure with my potential yet after graduating recently with bachelors, and jobless with a husband working two jobs to make ends meet.

    Keep them coming. I'm looking forward to the weeks! 🙂

  42. 1092
    purefire says:

    Ok, so I'm a week late – better late than never!

    1. I happened upon a TV program entitled "10 Things I Hate about Myself". The premise of the show is that they come to you and "fix" the 10 things you hate. The woman who the show was on had the ususal issues – appearance things, clothes, hair, body size, some organizational challenges and a failed relationship she couldn't get over. I just thought it sad that after the people from the show left, she's still got herself. The things they worked on were all surface issues, they never touched the root of much of it – insecurity.
    2. The part of the definition that really got me was this: "a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world". I have spend so much of my life feeling so unworthy – unworthy of friends, respect, kindness. The Lord has healed so much in me and yet this book has unearthed a bit that still remains. But I'm expecting a life changing experience as I read this book. I will be free of insecurity once and for all!

  43. 1093
    Amy says:

    Amy, late 30's, married, Orlando, FL

    The last time I came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity was when I (who live away from my hometown)texted my brother and his estranged wife to ask them if they could make sure my Mom had a pillow and such to keep her comfortable while she stayed overnight in the hospital with my Dad and my brother responded, "It's all taken care of sis" and my sis-in-law responded with over 6 ranting texts about judging her, making wrong assumptions of her, proving how much she had "already" done, etc. and a lot of other wounded responses. Geeze, Louise, we are a crew aren't we?

    3. "The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate." I often question my "right" to feel the way I do or berate myself for not feeling something better, more mature, more spiritual, etc.

  44. 1094
    tandtsmom says:

    Columbus, MS

    Hope I'm not too late…
    1. I'm having a Mary Kay party Sat and someone I invited wanted to make sure did not have to come without make-up or have to take her make-up off at the show.
    2.Don't have the book by my side but the part about second-guessing how you should feel and think about things really stuck out but I could relate to just about all of the definition.

  45. 1095
    Shellie Paparazzo says:

    Oh, my gosh. I run into this all the time at Celebrate Recovery! I can't think of a single person I've met there who hasn't run into insecurity and that played a role in their addictions and hang-ups.

    The thing I most related to in the definition of insecurity is constant fear of rejection, although I have to say almost all of it I related to. Okay, actually, I did relate to it all! All of my fears come back to fear of rejection. Fear about having to maybe go back into the workforce again. Fear everytime I start a new bible study with a new group. It all comes back to fear of rejection and I've experienced plenty of rejection. I just keep thinking I can't take being rejected one more time!

  46. 1096
    Shellie Paparazzo says:

    Oops,I'm not good at following directions either.

    Moscow, Idaho

  47. 1097
    Jackie Roth says:

    1. I always feel inferior at work. I love my job but did not go to college so I feel like I will never quite measure up. I stayed home with my kids until they went to school then got a job as para then secretary at school. Sometimes when money is tight I regret not going getting a degree and better job.
    2. chronic self consiousness- never thought about it before as being insecure. It makes so much sense.
    also I've noticed it's easier to see insecurity in others rather than myself. Is that insecurity also?

    Milford, NE

  48. 1098
    Gayle says:

    1. I guess dealing with my son's battle with cancer & wondering why there not anyone (man) to help get me through. My son has stage 4 cancer brain tumor.
    2. The inscurity about relationships on page 23 was a big oh yea that's me for sure. Why do I set myself up.
    I pray the Lord will bless you and every Siesta that is reading this book that we will break are insecuritys.
    Richton, MS

  49. 1099
    chsingHim says:

    Marie 47
    Jacksonville FL
    well, i'm telling myself it is because of all the computer problems that i have had this week that have caused me to post week 1 comments on the day we begin week 2. But subconsciously i cannot help i cannot help but wonder if maybe my insecurity is hoping that no one i know will see my post and figure out what a mess i am…Lord knows i had a hard enough time putting all that information in 'roll call' sigh….
    this i know – i am sick to death of missing out on life because of my insecurities and fears. When you talked about the rattlesnakes in the introduction "get out in the fresh air & enjoy myself well equipped or sit in the stale house like a wimp & sulk about a path full of hazards" it about took my breath away.
    so…#1 the answer has to be with myself on a daily basis in one way or another.
    #2 "profound sense of self doubt – a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth & place in the world – chronic self-consciousness"

  50. 1100
    Ashton says:

    2. I met a new potential friend back in Nov 2009. And through this new friend I met one of her closest friends. In the course of sharing one night she shared a health concern about her close friend asking "DONT say anything" . I, wanting to help, took it upon myself to ask another friend who is a nutritionist if there was help. After telling my new friend there could be a solution I realized, after speaking, I might have crossed a boundary. I asked if I had stepped over a boundary and she told me I did but said she knew my heart was in a good place and it was really ok. But, I could not accept that. I kept looking for signs that I destroyed a potential friendship that was just getting started. I kept thinking that when you cross a boundary you lose and there is no going back. I worried and worried that the security of this potential friend was all mucked up. It was all I could do to not feel insecure.

    3. Constant fear of rejection. But, it goes deeper, I dont' feel worthy of the pure love from a special person that I admire. I must perform in order to obtain the love instead of just receiving pure love. Will they see the real me and will they still want to love me or even want to involve me in a deeper relationship? The real love feels awkward and hard to accept, cause I want to do something to earn this. Then I may start to get too close creating this magical thinking that there something more in the relationship when there is not and when reality sets in the hard truth comes that there is nothing more and rejection comes.

    A Ashton
    Houston, Texas

Leave a Reply

To receive a daily digest of comments on this post, enter your email address below: