So Long Insecurity Week One!

Hey Sisters! To say that you are on my mind right about now is an understatement. I’m posting this on Thursday, February 11th but I’m writing it at 10:00 PM on Wednesday from the backseat of a rented Ford four-door “Edge.” My trusty (hard working) assistant, Michelle, is sitting right across from me and Todd and Maggie from Tyndale House are up front. We have had a break-neck day in Birmingham, Alabama at three different bookstores where I had an indescribable blast with women just like you. And, in fact, a number of them actually were you. What a great way to begin to picture roughly 6000 of you! All ages. All shapes and personalities. And every color of hair a woman can buy. I do dearly love a group of happy girls. Just in case you are under the impression that women who love God can’t have fun, stick around a while. We’d be delighted to help change your mind.

We are on a three-hour drive to Nashville and, by the time you read this, we will have checked into a hotel around midnight. We will get up on Thursday morning and head out to several bookstores and see many more of you face-to-face. An unspeakable privilege.

I am ecstatic that you guys have joined us for this journey! You are our particularly welcome guests if this is the first time you’ve participated on this blog. There’s just nothing like doing something healthy TOGETHER. When we go solo, the temptation to set a goal aside when it gets confrontational or challenging can be almost too much to resist. The accountability and community you can experience in a group with a common objective like this can make the difference between really doing the thing or wishing you had.

So, what’s our goal? As a matter of fact, a cameraman from a local television station asked me that very question today. I’ll tell you what I told him: the goal is for an insecure woman to open the book and a secure woman to close it. Nothing less than that. Humanly speaking, fat chance. But, if somewhere in these pages, we hear God speaking instead? Ah, then, for those willing to believe what He says, fat chances lose their weight and real changes takes their place. We’re not just looking to read a book here, Sisters. We’re looking to discover the kind of soul-deep security that stands fast in the floodwaters of this image-saturated society. It is time for a change.

OK, let’s quit talking about it and start doing it! Here are your assignments for Week One:
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.

2. Read the Introduction, Chapter One, and Chapter Two. Our first question is based on Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.

3. This question is based on Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?

To stay on schedule, you will have until next Thursday morning, February 18th, to answer this week’s questions so don’t feel that you need to rush. You have plenty of time. You will write your responses in a single comment to THIS POST. You’ll see other posts about other subjects follow this one over the course of the week. You’ll still return back to this entry to make your comments regarding Week One. This will be true each subsequent week.

Each time you enter into the discussion, please include the same general information as your initial sign-up: first name, city, age-decade, and whether or not you are single or married. You’ll find that our answers will be even more insightful as we set them next to our basic biographical information. Try to keep your responses succinct so that we can read as many as possible. Since there could be hundreds of comments – or even several thousand – you might consider reading the ones surrounding the same general time frame as your entry.

For all the rule keepers, no, you don’t have to respond every week or to every question. Grin. When you have something to say, say it! Don’t feel like it needs to sound profound. Don’t try to over-analyze unless that’s how you normally process information. Just share what’s on your heart and how God is dealing with you.

No matter your background, you are so welcome to take part in this journey with us. All we ask is that you treat your fellow sojourners with respect. I am honored to serve you here. My prayer and deepest hope is that you will encounter the One who came that you might have life and have it to the FULL.

Thank you for coming!

Lord, be magnified.

In His lavish love,


1,429 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week One!”

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  1. 1101
    Susan Hart says:

    40s and happily married
    Wow! Chapter two really hit me like a ton of bricks! And I'm just beginning this! God is so going to use this and I can't wait to see what He does!
    1. I come face to face with insecurity on a daily basis! The most recent is being so self conscious of my weight that it is affecting my relationship with my husband. Not something that he feels, just me, but I let it stand in the way of our being intimate and the lack of that intimacy is robbing us of the strengthening of the bond that intimacy creates in marriage.
    2. I can relate to so much! I am always the peacemaker and I do obsess over another not liking me or my feeling that I have let them down or not met their expectations.

  2. 1102
    Rebecca says:

    n this is hard to amit fear of rejection is the #1. Afraid people will not like the way I look or not like my peronility.
    Chronic self consciousness always looking over my shoulder changing clothes.
    Afraid of being hurt is what it comes down to. I really need help.

  3. 1103
    AbbyLane says:

    working backwards…

    1) thank you for this idea
    2) TODAY: went to doctor for a physical and to have some shots updated. my regular FEMALE nurse waved at me as she walked by and the NEW, HOT, M.A.L.E. nurse proceeded to do my physical, beginning with the glorious weigh-in, and urine sample. (make matters worse?-hmm, or better-no wedding ring!! so of course i immediately start comparing myself to all the other patients he "could have had" walk through the door that look better than me, are funnier, or could have "caught his eye" as an unmarried man.)

    are you kidding me?! lame. good news?–bc i'm working backwards on this question-answering thing, i had already read through 4 chapters of the book and therefore, recognized my insecurity in those moments and was able to smile and laugh about it, and give God glory for the things He is already teaching me through your (and ultimately HIS) words. praise Him!

    3) i think the ending phrase "constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether her feelings and desires are legitimate." because i have grown up in the church and a family that was deeply rooted across generations in ministry, i (thankfully) have always had a good foundation of the truth of God's word. i think for me, i struggle with a mental battle over whether or not my feelings or thoughts are legitimate because i KNOW the truth of God's word, and in my insecurity, Satan uses that fact against me to challenge what my thought-life produces.
    the things i know in my heart to be true because of God's word–my worth in and because of Christ, my beauty because of HIM, and my purpose and calling in this world–become challenged by what the world simultaneously throws at me marked as it's truth–the "laws" of worldly success, beauty, and love. the enemy uses my weakness of what my worldly eyes see in the mirror to convince my mind that the world's truth is what will win out–that i will be made fun of more than accepted, that i'm not worthy of love because of my looks, and that my talents are good, but not the kind that make people successful. it is a battle that i'm well aware of most of the time-even in the moments that it is happening, and sadly i often choose the path thats the shortest/easiest to an accolade or complement that i think i need to get me through the day, rather than the path whose foundation is the most sure thing i have in my day.

    abby lane
    nashville, tn

  4. 1104
    Tina says:

    2)The last time I came face to face with insecurity was when I was walking into a crowded room of people and I feel like all eyes are on me and they can see on my face what I am feeling inside…fear, of them.
    3)The paragraph on pg. 3 about unrealistic expectations. It hit home because I often expect my loved one's to make me feel more secure by telling me things good about myself. That's a huge burden to put on someone and I hope to change that!
    Dacula, Ga. – 30's – married

  5. 1105
    Tina says:

    I'm sorry…I meant pg. 23 in my comment.
    Dacula, Ga. 30's – married

  6. 1106
    BJ says:

    BJ / Kansas City, MO / late 20s / single
    1) More than a specific situation where I have recently run into insecurity head-on, I feel like it's been creeping up on me over the last several years. With a hard end to a romantic relationship and the loss of several close girlfriends in the process, it seems like I've grown so insecure in what I have to offer others. I absolutely hate it – I've never had this kind of a struggle with frienships before.
    2) The definition about us creating our own disappointments in relationship deeply resonated with me. I constantly have to look at situations to decipher if I was actually HURT – or if I just had some extravagant expectations that weren't met. Most of the time, I simply forget to do the evaluation and settle for feeling rejected.

  7. 1107
    Anonymous says:

    Debbie, 40's, married

    1) Latest bout with insecurity – buying the book. 🙂
    2) "chronic self-consciousness". Hits the nail on the head.

    Thanks, Beth.

  8. 1108
    Michelle Bentham says:

    Wautaga, TX

    I posted last week… At least I thought I did, but maybe… Just maybe it is floating around in the big whole wide inter-webby thingy. Or, maybe I just thought my comment and forgot to write in. 🙂

    1. Dear Father God, I pray that when I have completed this book I will have severed at the root the lingering effects of insecurity, jealousy, rejection and fear. I have been doing freedom work long and hard for the last three years… HARD WORK… But, you've done the hardest part – breaking off what I have no power to fight. I want to be bold, I want to be free… I want to see myself the way you see me, Daddy God. And, most of all I want it for all these ladies joining in this journey. I do. Bring your Kingdom to life in us, Lord God as you set us Free!

    Bring it to the table so we can wipe the dern thing clean. I love you so much. I just want to walk in the confidence of that love.

    Your Girl.

    2. Siestas… This is a painful thing to admit. I want it to be over. But truth be told, I deal with it every single day. For the last 418 days especially, but mostly my whole life. I search out cell phone records looking for a particular area code. I log into his email looking for a particular email address. Anytime he seems checked out… I get wired up with insecurity. I wonder why he emailed her and not me. I wonder why he could write her terms of endearment and not me. I wonder why he called her and talked to her for hours at a time and he barely has three words to say to me. I mostly wonder now why he still doesn't 418 days after the fact write to me…

    I wonder…I wonder…I wander around in my insecurities, my doubts, the rejection that an emotional affair brings to someone whose love languages are 1. Quality Time and 2. Words of Affirmation. That is what I live with every single day. Deep in my heart I often don't want to know the answer because I'm afraid the truth will be that I'm not worthy and I don't deserve love.

    Beth I might well be that girl beside you on the freeway Crying her eyes out in the car – I do need help with this. Thank you.

    3. The insecure…woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate. (THAT'S ME.)

    Sometimes I even resort to hiding.

    Did I use too many words?

  9. 1109
    Margaret says:

    #2. This week when I thought of inviting a friend over. Decided our home wasn't big enough, clean enough, etc.

    #3. The definition that sums it up for me, is Beth's: sabotaging yourself. The biggest problem with self sabotage is that one is trying so hard to survive, that the focus is nowhere but on me! Yuk!

    I am growing (it's about time) but still want to let the Lord get deeper into this area of my heart.

    North Idaho

  10. 1110
    KY Pam says:

    Pam Serpico
    Elizabethtown, KY
    Married, 49

    I have been too insecure to post anything, but I have to follow the rules (too insecure not to!), so…

    Chapter Two: I am currently feeling like I have done something terribly wrong because somebody is mad at me…this is the issue I related to the most with this chapter. I haven't done anything wrong, but can't stand to have someone upset with me!

  11. 1111
    Carol says:

    Beth and fellow travelers in this insecure world,
    1. As I was traveling home last week, I spotted a young girl in the airport waiting to board a plane. She was obviously crying but trying to conceal it. I sat down next to her and asked her if I could pray for her. Her fiancee had crushed her with the news that he didn't love her anymore. He went further to tell her that she was the last person he wanted to marry and share life or name with. We are left with "I am the last person…"
    2. The insecure person lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.
    I constantly catch myself seeking approval of others. Disciplining myself for falling to my fears but still seeking that approval.

    Poplar Bluff, MO

  12. 1112
    Lauren says:

    Stevenson, AL
    I know this is late, but better late than never I guess!!

    1) I'm pretty sure I fight with my insecurties everyday in so many ways. Am I a good enough teacher, christian, girlfriend,etc.? Last week my classroom received a surprise visit from the state(YAY!!). She looks down on me like I have no clue what I am doing. I get frustrated and stressed and let her get to me. I don't want to be ugly to her, but I want to be more secure. God has given me the gift to teach wonderful 4 yr olds. I could not ask for a better job.

    2) First of all, anxiety is my middle name. I worry about everything. I also let my insecurities get in the way of my spiritual gifts. I have been told that I was not good enough to be a preacher's wife, I could not teach children at church because I am a woman, and instead of turning these over to God and moving on with my life I let these things eat at me and interfere with life and what I should be doing and concentrating on.

  13. 1113
    2redsmom says:

    Olathe, Kansas

    1. My most recent encounter with insecurity was today when I doubted my basic worth as a mother. That was hard to write.
    2. When I read the words "chronic self-consciousness" in the definition a thousand pictures of me as its poster child ran through my mind. Not just from my childhood, mind you, but as recently as this morning. Oh, I have become a master at covering it up (many years of practice) but I feel it all the same. What is up with that? I am so ready to kick it out the door.

  14. 1114
    Nana says:

    Beth, this is my first journey with you. I signed up for the conference when the advertisment came out and then got your email the other day and ran right out and bout the book and it had my name written all over every page. I have had a battle going on inside me for a long time and didn't realize or want to admit what it was. Now I know. I am thrilled to take this journey with you and pray God will bring me through it a changed person.

  15. 1115
    Barbara says:

    2- The part of the definition that hit me hardest is – are my own feelings legitimate.I have had times in the past which have resurfaced recently with feeling invisible.That people don't really listen to me when I talk. I'm no "mouse" who doesn't speak up or hold back opinions, but sometimes whether they are being rude or not, some people seemingly don't give me the time or attention they give to others when listening. Now I wonder if I've missed the deadline to give my thoughts, which plays right into it too…. Yikes.

    PS-When I just tried to post this, the password didn't work, then my computer kicked me off of the internet… what I'm saying important????? Insecurity roaring…

    Barbara 50 single Clarence, NY

  16. 1116
    Dedra says:

    So… Better late than never.. 🙂
    1. I thought about this all day today.. taking my twin daughters prom dress shopping for modest, yet gorgeous dresses. They are tall and gorgeous and thin and so self conscious. Smack dab in my face with the struggle we all go through.. I so want to impart confidence in Him upon them.. Momma's words are not always what does that….
    2. The definition of insecurity..the whole specialist description! That was so me before I got a grip with Jesus and removed expectations off of my sweet Hubs. I still struggle with this periodically.. but man.. it's hard!!

    This word is rocking my world Mama Beth.. I love you!

  17. 1117
    S. says:

    1). I am not sure if we are going personal here or not…but my last one is secondary to a guy that I met in Dec/early January. We were set up to meet each other by mutual friends and it went well. He even stopped by in Nashville as he was driving back to Dallas…we had a great visit. He leaves and well I don't here from him…making me of course question what happened…what did I do wrong? Why is it that we always go to what we did wrong? I know that I am not defined by him but it's still frustrating.

    2). The part of the definition that resonated the most with me is the last sentence…specifically, a "deep uncertainity whether my feelings and desires are legitimate"– I'm supposed to be the strong one for everyone else…and I am supposed to take care of everyone else…not necessarily bad but somehow I've forgotten that I am also allowed to feel and have my own dreams.

    Susie (39)

  18. 1118
    OhioBJAE says:

    1) This past summer I was feeling confidante in the place God put me. Then a 'friendly' church member's insecurity turned into an attack on me….which spun me straight into insecurity myself.

    2) "chronic self-consciousness" – I could hardly get dress for the dentist today, it needed to be comfy, but show I was a confident grown up that leaves the house more than once a week.

    Milford, OH

  19. 1119
    SarraHudson says:

    I would say I'm definitely in a current insecurity crisis. My wonderful husband and I have grwon our family over the last ten years. We now have 6 children. I love every one of them, I love being home with them. For whatever reason we have REALLY struggled with God calling us to continue to have more children. I love having them and I really love always having a baby in my house, but I do NOT love always putting on the weight and generally not taking it all off anymore. God and I have had so many discussions about this. If he would just keep this weight off I'd do what he wants but uuugghhhh…seriously God? I'm insecure about how I look next to all the other tiny women at church!
    married, 29

  20. 1120
    Heather says:

    Shokan, NY

    1. My daughter has some friends who have small body frames and thus wear size 0 and 1 clothes. My daughter is not overweight but is much larger than her friends and her clothes sizes are larger. She came home in tears because her friends were criticizing what she ate at lunch because she was bigger than they were. She felt fat for a long time and refused to wear shorts because she felt she was so fat. She cannot hear complements from us for she thinks we have to say things because we are her parents. She was even asked to have a picture taken for a magazine because she was so pretty, yet her friends' words made her feel ugly in spite of evidence to the contrary. It took years for her to realize and get comfortable in her body.
    2. For me, the part of the definition that says living in a constant fear of rejection is what resonates the strongest. Because of the sexual abuse from my father when he told me "You are so stupid, dumb, and ugly no one would ever want to marry you so I am going to teach you to put out," I felt that no one would love me unless I put out, so I did for far too many years, until I realized that was not the way to live my life. I have been happily married 23 years, but sometimes I still wonder about my husband's love, God's love, and spend my time tiptoeing around trying not to get anyone upset with me. I apologize a lot and feel that things important to me don't matter. I am healing from my past and no longer walk around feeling like ruined goods. I can even pray Abba Father, something i couldn't do years ago. God is good and I am grateful for his consistent love in the midst of my insecurity. God bless you Beth for addressing a problem that is so prevalent in this society. – Heather

  21. 1121
    Jodi says:

    2. Looking at myself in the mirror. People tell me that I am good looking but I feel that unless I'm 20 pounds lighter, toner, tanner, teeth whiter that I'm not much to look at. I looking to let go of this through reading this book!
    3. "A deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world." I find myself feeling uncertain when I am around other people and how I fit in. I have a difficult time being close to other women my same age.
    Prominent false positive: Good looks and and a good position would make me secure.

    Paradise, CA

  22. 1122
    kristin says:

    Lavaca, AR

    1) I am a stay at home mom and have been for 3 years. So, anytime I am in a setting with other SAHM's, and they begin listing the things they have accomplished for the day/week whatever, or I see their "cleaning schedule" on their blog 🙂 I begin feeling totally worthless. I feel like "seriously" what am I doing everyday??

    2) When I read the first chapter, I honestly thought, well, maybe this book isn't going to pertain to me, but…. chapter 2, page20 hit be like a brick. Tears began flowing. I thought, other people really feel this way??? (I'm talking about the bull's eye) I can't sleep if I think someone is mad at me. I apologize when I don't even know if I need to. Someone doesn't like me? What??? Social anxiety? Daily.

    Thank you Beth for the book. I pray God will speak to me and work in me. I am so thankful he is working through you. Thank you for your hard work! It makes me anxious leaving this comment! Do I sound stupid? 🙂

  23. 1123
    Anonymous says:


    1) That I'm worried about being late in posting….even though I got my book late….and could instead choose to be grateful to have caught this train. : )

    Seriously, I have been more involved in women's ministry and see insecurity popping up all over. In myself, small group leaders, participants. It's rampant!!!

    2) The "deep uncertainty about whether or not her feelings and desires are legitimate" hit me between the eyes. Any time I'm faced with an inter-personal conflict I spend tons of time evaluating my actions, feelings, thoughts, words, outfit (just kidding!) to see if my point of view is valid. Even when it clearly is!

  24. 1124
    Patti says:

    Beth thanks so much I recieved my book in the mail.

    Patti W
    Grand Rapids, MI

  25. 1125
    Patti says:

    I face insecurity in my everday life. hoping reading and being apart of this blog will help me. I say The Serenity prayer daily. God Speed to everyone.

    Patti W
    Grand Rapids, mi

  26. 1126
    nothomeyet says:

    Sanger, CA

    2)Getting ready this am. I lost my job in Oct, put on 10+ lbs. Nothing fits right and I just don't look or feel good. I am really shocked sometimes as to how this am rountine can devastate my whole day depending on the outcome. Silly. Ok, NO, it's not silly, it's tragic to be so paralyzed. Ok, I'm ticked!!! Ditto Beth!
    3)Well, all of it resonated with me, but the "a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate." is the one that was screaming at me. This is me. I constantly analyze my actions and feelings and desires and ask friends to objectively give their opinions about all situations, I always second guess everything I feel, do, or say. I apologize alot for no reason. A friend told me this weekend, after I apologized for voicing my feeling on a situation that effects us both, and she matter-of-factly, told me: "those are your feelings and you have every right to voice them and you have a right to have them. Infact, you were the one that was very mild compared to our input." I'm realizing I'm pretty messed up with insecurity (at least I can define it now) But, the bigger the foe the greater the victory!!!

  27. 1127
    Beth.. One Blessed Nana says:

    Ok, feeling insecure about posting tonight when it clearly said morning. That is the beauty of our awesome internet connections out here in the boonies!

    1. It's crazy, but when I quit my job 6 months to be a stay-at-home "Nana" – people make me feel guilty for not working when I don't have children at home anymore and I begin to feel insecure about the decision my husband I made for me to quit my job of 9 years.

    I enjoy having the time to spend all day in the Word if that is what I want to do! I enjoy being a happier and more secure woman, so how can I be insecure about that decision??? Yuck!

    2.You said that insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. Oh, so true! I never really thought about it that way, but that just hits the nail on the head with me! I am such a perfectionist and I realize that it is based on my insecurities. How absurd is that? My own security of my perfectionism is due to my insecurities! Oh, my, do I have healing to obtain!!

    Beth Herring
    Oak Grove, La.
    Married (happily for 25 years)

  28. 1128
    Anonymous says:


    1. Using a false name in my comment as to not be Identified – You never know who looks on this sight.

    2. Self worth part – Had a very difficult fall – Sharing with a friend she made the remark that she remembered a time when she just didn't like her life – my comment to her was that God has blessed me in so many ways how could I not like my life – I just don't like myself. One of my birthday gifts to Jesus this past Christmas was to everyday in 2010 thank Jesus, my creator, for the way he made me. Silly I know – but such a challenge to say it and mean it.

  29. 1129
    Erin says:

    Sigh. It was just on Sunday, Valentine’s Day, when a show came on TV with all these beautiful women. I went to put on my Valentine nightie feeling quite insecure about my own body and just wanted to cover up! After watching those women, what could make me look desirable? My hubby and I talked about it, I cried some and told him, I just need you to hold me and tell me I’m beautiful. He did. How I thank God for my hubby!

    Puyallup, WA

  30. 1130
    TheCaliforniamum says:

    (1)my moment of insecurity came when we were to post our thoughts, are my thoughts really important? This froze my brain and then I decided even though I was late in posting, this study is not about pass or fail but do and learn.

    The part that stood out for me was "lack of confidence in ourselves". This has effected my job searchs this past year.

    I look forward to the challenge of this study even if I am insecure about!!!

    Sacramento, CA

  31. 1131
    Radical Abandonment says:

    I left my comment last night and I think it disappeared into cyberspace. I will try and recreate it.
    I decided to answer only question 3 this week. I was really taken by the description of insecurity in the definition. The words that jumped out at me were: self-coubt, uncertainity, self-consciousness, lack of confidence and anxiety. I I have experienced all of them at different times. I find they severely interfere with my being able to reach out to others. Many times I have attended something and hoped to bless or reach out to another woman, only to be struck by fear and later realizing I did nothing but think about myself…at times resulting in saying or doing something I would rather not remember. My husband has even talked to me about them a couple of times. Instead of being humility this is an example of pride-preoccupation with myself. On page 16-17 Beth made a wonderful point: the enemy of my soul has a tremendous amount to gain if I don't deal with insecurities. I agree and I am so thankful to have God convicting and encouraging me to face these things and deal with them.
    Arvada, CO
    50 's, married

  32. 1132
    Yankee Mama says:

    (can't sleep)
    Austin, TX

    1) So many of my girlfriends are having to deal with their husbands pornography addiction. It's heartbreaking and just makes me so mad! These women are beautiful but feel like there is something wrong with them. Even though I trust my husband I know he is just am man. Once it was never a thought in my mind and now, I feel like I have to worry that we are just the enemy's next victims.

    2) "chronic self-consciousness and constant fear of rejection" I can't remember not being concerned about my looks even at a really young age it's always there in my mind and I have always had a desire to "fit in" I worry if I will be accepted still-years after High School.

  33. 1133
    DeeL says:

    1) I was at a friends party and one of the women left and she made an effort to get up, walk the woman to the door, thank her for coming, etc. When I left she just stayed seated, acting like it didn't matter if I was there one way or another.
    2) The definition that hit me was that insecurity refers to a profound sense of self doubt.
    I am ready to shake that!
    Edmond, OK

  34. 1134
    Anonymous says:

    I didn't think I was an insecure person until I started reading the difinition in chapter two and realized I certainly fit the bill! (1) for instance, why do I put myself out there on Facebook and still feel insecure with the people I went to high school with 25 years ago! So silly!!!
    (2)I especially see insecurity in a good friend who "is usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery". If only she could see it from the outside looking in.
    Upstate NY

  35. 1135
    Shannon says:

    1. I loved writing out the journal entry. The Lord really spoke to me as I was writing and affirmed this is where we need to go right now.

    2. At first I had to leave to this question blank because I couldn't think of anything. My first two chapters were read at Barnes & Noble, but I didn't buy the book. I came back a few days later and read the next two chapters. I tried not to think too much about how much I tried to hide the cover of the book, but I really didn't want anyone to see what I was reading. It was finally when I was in Sam's Club a few day's later and put the book in my cart upside down that I realized I had just encountered insecurity.

    3. This one was easy. Self – I think far too much about myself. Perfectionism also rang loudly in my spirit. I don't feel terribly insecure. I used to be nothing but fear and insecurity but the Lord has has faithfully delivered me from much. But there are some small things that I think have a big impact on my life. I know I'm not fully aware of what these thoughts or feelings even are. I believe I'm about to find out.

    Greeley, CO

  36. 1136
    Heidi Winter Tracht says:

    What part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?

    Others have told me that I appear confident. And truthfully, some days I do feel confident, but not as often as I would like. I feel insecure about my "place in this world." The thought of "rejection" has kept me in safe places (yet unfulfilling places) – related to relationships, a career, and reaching out to others. At the same time, I have "unrealistic expectations about love and relationships," therefore I am apt to feel disappointment and hurt towards those closest to me.

    39 years and 11 months 🙂

  37. 1137
    Abiding Branch says:

    Hi, my name is Rachele and I have a security problem. arg. The first two chapters blessed me so!!
    I wrote the prayer and what a release that was!
    Face to Face: The last true meeting I had with insecurity was not so long ago. I truly was beginning to feel like the wallpaper every where I went. And for a sanguine extremist that was difficult.
    Defining moment: I have been called the most confident insecure person by my husband. If and when I share my securit struggles people look cross-eyed at me. I'm normally upbeat and moving forward but there are anchors I have met along the way.
    Glory to God he has begun to deal with and remove unhealthy relationships over the last three years. As Anne McRae sings, "there are days it's just enough to know that I'm a little further down the road."
    Love, Chel FW, TX 37 years young!

  38. 1138
    Susanne says:


    1) I deal with insecurity quite regularly. Every time I go into my closet and try to find something "cute" to wear. I have been fighting the "battle of the bulge" for my entire adult life, and I am very insecure about that, especially when I am unable to pull of the latest fashion trends.

    2)I underlined the key words of the definition, that I felt applied to me: self-doubt, uncertainty, chronic self-consciousness, chronic lack of confidence, anxiety, constant fear, deep uncertainty over whether feelings/desires are legitimate… Yep. That was pretty much ALL of them!! I am also very guilty of putting unrealistic expectations on others, as well as myself.

  39. 1139
    Darcy says:

    Central Florida
    Married w/4 children
    late 30s

    1) Face to face with it in me as it took me two weeks to get the courage up to write the journal entry in the book. (let's not count how many times I had to preview this comment before I posted it!!) It took a lot of debating as to even where to write it in the book – front cover, dust jacket, or hidden somewhere. Finally I did it though and wrote it on the first page. Progress, right? I had baby #4 15 months ago and this last year has been a roller coaster. Insecurity has ruled my life more than I want to admit…to the point I threw out (shredded) every journal/bible study/personal notes and prayers in one of my insecure moments because the thought of someone reading them one day would just be too much for me or for someone to see how many I never even finished! Crazy, right? Now my children will never will be able to read the legacy of God's goodness and the grace and growth in their mother that came from those tear stained pages and the hours spent in prayer. Needless to say, writing a journal entry in the book was HUGE for me this week!

    2) Insecurity definition that resonated with me is "profound sense of self-doubt..deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate." I have taken an extended stay in the Self-Doubt Lodge. I live there frequently, always questioning myself,my decisions, desires and looking for someone's approval! Whether it is my husband's approval about a parenting decision or my neighbor's opinion on decorating, I am always in search of someone to say it is OK to do this or that or feel a certain way. I guess I am always looking for validation or reassurance about who I am.

    I decided to start journaling again and just got your Jesus One and Only devotional journal. I am certain I need to know HIM more to be at peace with who HE made me to be!

  40. 1140
    cheryl says:

    I know Im late but better late than never hu? I got my book in the mail on Thursday of last week and did not have a minute to read until Monday and have not been able to get to the blog until today. Sooooo
    1. Oh wait….
    When my husband came home from work monday night he saw the book on my little side table by the couch. He asked what was that and I flipped the book over so he couldnt see the title. I just said ..a new book by Beth Moore.
    Now this is the man I love who knows me better than anyone, who has been praying I would break free of my insecurities…:)How insecure is that!!!

    You really got me with " Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness"
    My husband and I minister in a prison in Louisianna. We have to sit apart from the men, facing them. You talk about self conscious! I wont even get up out of my chair. We have been doing this for 3-4 years and I have never stepped up to the microphone. I just sit there.
    Now after the worship service I will talk with them one on one and hug them but thats it.

  41. 1141
    Anonymous says:

    Moorhead, MN

    Okay-so let me start my post by saying sorry I missed the deadline. After being on vacation for a week I was struggling to get back on TOP of my work piles! 🙂

    1. I come face-to-face with insecurity EVERYDAY in myself. I have realized that the devil has got one heck of a stronghold on me where weight is concerned. I have struggled to lose weight my WHOLE life-let alone keep it off. I am realizing slowly as the Lord peels back the layers of these issues that I have bought the lies that I am simply too far gone to make lasting change now. So-I have been in a vicious cycle of being unworthy since I was 5 years old-that's when I first remember being made fun of and that root of insecurity growing to the surface. But I am confidant that with the Lord showing me these unforgiven hurts that I will conquer this thing!
    2.The thing that resonates with me is that I do indeed live with a deep feeling of uncertainty about my basic worth. And I am starting to see-for the very first time-how that spills over into EVERYTHING I do-my marriage, my parenting, my job. I just had a major melt-down at work yesterday because I was feeling so dis-respected. And I am looking back today and thinking-YUCK-I really SHOULD have, COULD have handled that better, so once again I am stuck in that place of shame where Satan has kept me for so long!

    Thank you-sweet Beth for following the CALLING for your life. Thank you for seeing the IMMENSE need for healing where insecurity is concerned with women of all walks and backgrounds of life. I so need to journey THROUGH this instead of around it, or under it, or over it!

    In Him,

  42. 1142
    Anonymous says:

    Dear Beth,

    I am a 29 year old married woman from South Texas. I bought your book. I have done 4 of your Bible studies. I am currently doing Breaking Free for the 2nd time -does that tell you something about me??

    Insecure…yup that is me. No one would ever know, Beth, it is such a secret. I even hesitate to leave a comment on here because even though there are over a thousand comments on here I am afraid someone is still going to know it is me. You see I grew up in a house full of WOMEN, strong beautiful women. My poor brother used to say that he was related to the 'Menstruals' because he was sooo out numbered by all the women he was surrounded by.

    When I was a little girl all of my flaws were always pointed out to me. Diet pills were given to me as a child. I was always told I was not as pretty or as skinny as this relative. When at Christmas in highschool we would get new bras and panties, SHE would get the cute little panties and I would get the ones that make you suck your tummy in. When I was 20 I was told I needed a nose job and liposuction…So they set my apt. and I had it done. Never even really thinking my nose was big or hating my hips. On average a size 10. Beth, I have countless stories I could share. The saddest part of this story is where it carries over into my marriage. My sweet husband adores me and thinks I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, but I do-no-believe-him. I refuse to let him see me undressed for fear he might really see me. I am so insecure that if he really SAW me, he might leave me just as my dad left my mother.

    I don't know why I feel the need to write this to you. I guess just to let you know about one of the women who read the first few pages while in the tub last night…and the entire time thinking, "how God, how can this insecure little girl that is so deep inside of me become a confident woman??" I'll tell ya why I so deeply want to be different…I have the most precious 2 year old big brown eyed daughter who I want to see raised into the confident woman who receives her value and worth from the eyes of her Heavenly Father.

    Thank you for this book, and I will read it!

  43. 1143
    Becky says:

    Well here goes. I had read the first parts of the book a couple of weeks ago and so excited to be apart of this group. God granted me the opportunity to be in Fultondale with my mom at the book signing which was great. It was truly awesome to get to meet you Beth. I love the picture of you and my mom and will cherish it. But now on to the questions at hand.
    1. The latest face to face encounter with my insecurties was I quess just before writing this post. I was thinking what do you want to right about. I thought about my job and the insecurities there. Then I thought about my relationships and the list goes on. But I realised it is just the fact that I am able to come out of the closet, as you might say, and share with my closets friend admitting that I am not the strongest person as he thinks I am. That I deal with insecurities as in my finances, my friendship with him, depression and other things. I think I shocked him because for once he actually did not know what to say. It was a quiet ride back home from Birmingham.
    2. It is not easy on the defination part because as I read back over them to see which I would fall into it would be several, but here are the ones I picked for now. When someone gets angry with me I have a hard time forgeting it and second I deal with anxities also to the point that I know when an attack is coming on now and how to control it and relationships.

    Okay there it is out in the open. Thank you so much for this book and study and I have found out this week while we are dealing with our insecurities be prepared to face them because we are all going to be put to the test.

    Attalla, AL

  44. 1144
    Becky says:

    Opps forgot my stuff at the end

    Attalla, AL

  45. 1145
    Anonymous says:

    1. About 10 days ago God had put on my heart to give a short testimony of "God can do what He says He can do". And I felt so insecure, the questions "What will they think of me?" was such a huge obstacle. I was on the floor for a long time, praying it through and God blessed me so much for being obedient!
    2. The words "chronic self-consciousness" just screamed at me. I have to look into every mirror that is on my way, any glass that will reflect me in the mall… Why do I have to do that? Why can't I just enjoy this nice little stroll through the mall without always looking at my reflection?
    Meggie, Winnipeg, Canada
    40s, single mom

  46. 1146
    Kimberly says:

    1) My husband and I have "couple friends" that we have been very close to for years (they even came to spend Thanksgiving with us when we lived in Texas). Lately, the husband in this couple has seemed somewhat distant and both my husband and I have been a little hurt by it. We have a standing dinner on Thursday nights with a group of friends including this couple and last Tuesday, the wife in this couple EMAILED me to tell me they couldn't come because of a previous engagement. I couldn't sleep for hours trying to think about what this cancellation said about our relationship. It is only in typing this out that I realize how silly I was to be hurt by this. Do I really expect that the only way my friends can tell me that they want to be my friend is by never turning down a dinner invitation?

    2) "Insecurity is associated with chronic self consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships" At first, I wasn't sure if this fit me because of the use of the word "chronic". Although I wouldn't necessary say that I am sef-conscious or lack confidence in every situation (e.g. I am ok in front of a crowd) I do think that self-consciousness and lack of confidence extends to every area of my life- I am self conscious and not confident about my work, being a mom, being a wife, being a friend, and the list goes on and on…..

    Bakersfield, CA

  47. 1147
    Anonymous says:

    40's married
    Just got my book yesterday so I have some catching up to do.
    Always seem to be battling insecurity.
    I was in a mall store recently and got a pole myself to take down an item for my daughter that was high up. Well the staff did a collective gasp, eye roll and head shake of such disapproval. I could hear them talking about me loudly at the counter. Who knew costumers weren't allowed? I felt like an old fool and sorry to have embarassed my daughter.
    I am always second guessing myself.

  48. 1148
    cathy says:

    My biggest struggle with insecurity seems to revolve around ministry. Always worried that everyone will say no and that my ideas for ministry events will be rejected by the women that I respect.

    Amherst, MA

  49. 1149
    Jessica says:


    Just wrote this to my Mom and sister who are studying with me!


    I have TWO men who work FOR me. One is MY AGE and the other is DAD'S AGE.

    Talk about second-guessing EVERY SINGLE MOVE I make.

    I do love the book. Last night, while I was walking Teddy (my dog), I was analyzing my shadow and hating my hips. And God said, "WHO doesn't like your hips???"

    Because He does.


    Thank you God and Beth for being His messenger!

  50. 1150
    Anonymous says:

    One would think tht my lengthy list, of what I would rate as legitimate, insecurities would smother out any and all gender insecurities I might have. Why Heavens sake . . . I’ve been with my beautiful and faithful man for over twenty two years now. We know every intimate detail of each other (good and bad). If ever I had an insecurity issue it would not be because of that. Now guilt, fear, death, all of these are insecurities I could probably write a book.
    So, it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m fully aware that I have neglected my husband over the past couple of months. The enemy has kept me bound in the insecurities that had unleashed since my Mom’s unexpected death during Christmas this past year. It’s no excuse, I’ve just let the devil reek havoc on my marriage because it was the most convenient target. The rest of the world moved on and I stopped dead in my tracks. The three to four years I’ve spent growing in faith just plummeted to the bottom of the ocean like an anchor that had come loose. Work? Who cares? Food? Who cares? Life? Who Cares? Love? I certainly could not have cared any less.
    Then one day, a couple of weeks ago something just triggered. I can’t explain it, but all of a sudden I felt like I was going to be O.K. My laughter returned, my mind was more at peace, and I began to love again. So . . . Dogs (Spot & Skip) kenneled, and kids tucked away I decided to show my husband the respect and love I had neglected him from. Without going into great detail, let’s just say I had opened the can of romance and was beginning to feel the moment when I glanced into the mirror as I was getting out of the bath tub. At that moment every bit of confidence I had just went spiraling down the drain with the bath water. I immediately began to retreat to the gender insecurity. I mean. . . there is no way I’m letting him see my body. Santa Claus does not have anything on me and my bowl full of jelly! Then I remember something my husband told me a few months back. He kissed my belly and told me to never be ashamed of it. He loved it for it was the precious place that I had carried his babies. I think it’s the sweetest thing he or anyone else has ever said to me. For him to care enough to even notice that it was an insecurity without my mentioning it speaks volumes about him. As I remembered this. . . I smiled, dabbed on my perfume and then turned the lights COMPLETELY out!
    So, there you have it . . . even twenty years of marriage does not exempt us from our gender related insecurities! Only God can do that!!

    Murray, KY
    Pushing 40
    2 Kids & 2 Dogs

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