Hey, Girls!
I am sitting in the passenger seat of my man’s blue Ford truck with a bird dog’s head on my shoulder heading west to cactus country for a few days. Do you remember that place I told you about where I have to hike with a shotgun because of all the rattlesnakes? Yep, that’s where we’re headed. I don’t think I told you that Keith only lets me have one shotgun shell (thanks, Adrienne!) per walk so I only get to run into one snake at a time. For those of you who have been around for a while and are wondering, yes, we have Star, our Border Collie with us, too. She’s too busy looking out the window trying to herd the traffic to snuggle with me though. It would be tough to type with both on them on top of me anyway.
I’ve been thinking about you every single day. I have no idea how many of your comments I’ve read. Tons. Because we get the whole week to finish the assignments, I can read a certain amount almost every single day. I’m getting to keep up even better than I’d hoped. I really thought this would be a neat experience but you have surpassed my expectation in your answers and insights. The transparency is so incredibly refreshing. So many wonderful things have hit me in the last two weeks as we’ve gone through the first four chapters together. There’s one eye-opening and troubling thing I want to talk to you about before we proceed to our assignments. I’ve been touched by how many of you (thankfully) confessed that you even feel insecure about your comments and about whether or not the other women participating will think you’ve said something lame. Others mentioned being scared they’d misspell a word. As we seek freedom from God, let’s not let the enemy mess with us that way. Let’s not give over one inch of extra ground to the very issue we’re trying to escape.
What do you say we make this discussion stream a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE? What do you say we make a conscious choice not to compete with one another? Not to judge one another? Not to try to measure up to one another or feel less or more than the other? We have to put up with all that trash almost everywhere else a group of women meets up. We can make up our minds not to have to put up with that here. We are smart women. We can determine to share our struggles, challenges, and victories over insecurity without feeling insecure about them. Talk about double indemnity! In Jesus’ Name, let’s make up our minds to treat one another with respect but not give a rip about trying to keep up or compete. Even while we’re on our journey to freedom, let’s make this community a microcosm of what we hope, when it’s behind us, to find and to become. I can’t think of a better place for us to practice making up our minds not to let circumstances or people draw out our insecurities.
I esteem you highly and find you so entirely interesting. What I’ve learned from you already can’t be overstated. I have become increasingly certain over the last two weeks that God is up to something BIG among us. Bigger than I first thought. In fact, I can tell you this. There’s no way we came up with this. God is pursuing us. He’s setting us up to get sick and tired of our insecurity and to do anything we must in order to find wholeness in Him. Let’s not stop Him in any way.
Oops, I got distracted for a minute. We just stopped at a Valero’s near Llano, Texas, for a bathroom break and Star started barking her head off at a man minding his own business and walking into the store. “What on earth is the matter with you?” I asked. (To Star, of course. Not the man.) Then I saw what he was wearing. Short shorts with winter white legs and black socks. I think Star is terrified by black socks against bright legs. Somebody tell me why that dude didn’t feel insecure. Not really. Don’t get off on that. But admit it. It’s a mystery.
OK, so let’s get to this week’s assignments. We’ve reached a very important point in our journey. We’re about to dig up eight deep roots of insecurity. No, we’re not looking for excuses but a little understanding can go a mighty long way. Haven’t you ever wondered why it dogs you so? You may be about to find out. This week I’d like for you to give special attention to Chapters FIVE and SIX. Here are the two questions I want you to answer here on the blog:
1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.
2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)
These may sound like simple questions but I promise you we will have some interesting reading this week. Go to it, Girlfriends! I can’t wait to hear from you. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to make your comment. By the way, a number of you have asked if women can jump in late with us. Absolutely! Any time. Everybody’s welcome.
Here’s a special challenge this week: Let’s still hear from all of you who’ve been commenting over the last two weeks but let’s ALSO hear from at least one hundred of you who have never posted before. Remember, this is a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE. Get in there and learn how to make a comment and if you find it posted later and see that you misspelled a word, who cares? This journey will mean ten times more to you if you get all the way into it. Come on in and participate. This is a really cool group of women.
Come, Lord Jesus, and minister to us. Open our eyes. Open our hearts. Grant us signs of great freedom and healing even this week as we discover where our insecurities may be coming from. We know, Lord, that no flesh and blood can bring us what we need. If we come out of this with liberty, all glory will go to You alone. I love You, Father. Do Your Thing.
Lynn 
After reading these two chapters I was really down and out. My eyes were opened to so many hurting women who have struggled with things so much more difficult than the things in my life. I guess I felt guilty even having what I consider to be issues when my life is so blessed and so on track.
The more I pondered over these chapters the more the Lord spoke to my heart and showed me that what is true or apparent in my life is my reality. I do not need to place myself on a scale next to anyone else to feel worthy of His love and His healing powers.
I believe the two primary roots of insecurity for me would be rejection and dramatic change.
The first issue of rejection has been on going since I was a kid. My dad loved me, but just had no idea how to relate. He would become frustrated with my roller coaster of emotions and just totally shut down. I grew to believe that I could never do anything to please him. This issue carried over with my two best friends growing up. As little girls a threesome never worked. I was always the odd man out again feeling totally rejected.
I came to grips with my issues with my dad in my early twenties. Getting married and moving out caused us to find a common place of real love and appreciation for one another. I could not ask for a better relationship with my father now and I'm thankful that the Lord broke those ties of rejection many years ago.
Although I experienced great healing in that relationship, I never realized what it and my childhood friendships had done in many other relationships. I never felt good enough to be someones best friend and that lead me to finding friends who constantly used me for their needs and never stepped up to the plate when I needed someone. It was a continual pattern. It has been a long process of learning to break ties with certain people to stay healthy. This has been extremely hard over the years.
The second issues for me has been that of dramatic change. I know this all began when we moved our two oldest daughters to Texas at ages 19 and 18. I cried from Texas to Memphis non stop as my husband and I drove 1200 miles leaving both of them behind. My life spiraled out of control for the next few years.
People constantly told me how blessed I was to have two of my kids grow up with a passion for the Lord and a desire to seek His path. Oh how I agreed, but my heart hurt constantly like an open wound. I stood most mornings in the shower sobbing out of control. I fought hard to push everything down and appear strong thinking that as a Christian I needed to have it all together.
I once again found that friends abandoned me and I was left to find a way to get out of the pit. Thank you Jesus for Beth's book Get Out of that Pit and a couple of other books that completely ministered to my heart.
In reading these chapters I was surprised to read, "Even when we know that God is in the picture and every end leads to a new beginning, right at that moment of discovery, we tend to feel that everything wonderful is over." That was how I felt every second of every day.
The healing part in my life has come from another quote, "The truth is, God uses change to change us. He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny."
This is a daily walk for me. I strive to be strong and have a positive attitude even when I am crying on the inside as I listen to stories about Sunday dinners, family parties, and grand kids. I wonder why all three of my girls are now gone.
I pray for daily peace in my soul and contentment knowing God is enough.
Ginger
Michigan
40's
married
Lynn
44 Boca Raton, FL
married
1. I think that my primary 2 roots of insecurity are pride and dramatic change but a very close third would be what I now realize is perceived rejection. The last 18 months have been a time of changes that have rocked my life as I know it – not all of it bad though much of it painful. Can't remember what chapter you said it in Beth but I think that maybe I wasn't necessarily so secure as much as I have just been spoiled. Ouch…eye opening for sure.
God has much to teach me …I have never considered myself to be "all about me" but maybe I am more so than I think. My pride is definitely tripping me up.
Just signed up for the simulcast!
1. My childhood was rife with peer rejection because of personal limitations (very fat kid) for 9 years as small Catholic school which resulted in my having a “friend” that would be my friend and lure me in and then turn on my and publicly humiliate me and shame me with her group of friends from which I would be expelled for a time. Then she would “reaccept” me and the cycle continued from K-8th where if a new girl came to the school that I tried to befriend that person would be “taken” from me and integrated into the group to mock me. So Rejection, Loss and Personal Limitations all rolled into one which my parents did not really see because unbeknownst to me they had been dealing with my father’s mental instability from prior to my birth which resulted in him taking Thorazine unmonitored my whole life combined with alcohol. I would not learn why he was an uninvolved parent and why my mother acted as she did until near his sudden death when I was 30. Also Dramatic Change during the whole course of my 21 year marriage that began with early pregnancy and includes bankruptcies, infidelity on my husband’s part, abandonment by my husband, great financial instability, verbal abuse, and constantly feeling the world was spinning out of control. Within past two years have lost my older, only brother to alcoholism, my 17 year old dog, my house, my job, owe hundreds of thousands of dollars, my only child left for college, my husband again left me to pursue his dreams (2nd time of the leaving but was always pursing his dreams and thus the great instability), my car, almost all my possessions, my health and my mind! Through my whole life I have been a perfectionist! And I have pride because I fear I do not matter to anyone. I am not primary and want someone to put me first! Very prideful.
2. I guess I can see where these insecurities have been with me all my life and in all my relationships well before I became and wife and mother. I have lived with many of the things in my married life since that are listed here that have brought me to the very bad place where I am now with horrible panic, anxiety and depression. Homeless and relationships in shambles. No self esteem and total insecurity. I needed long ago to address the insecurity problem in my life and MUST do so now in order to move forward. There is literally nothing for me to hold onto for security or to give me a false security anymore. No house, no loving husband, no doting relatives or child, no money, no dog, no possessions, no beauty, no thinness or fit body, no good health, no youth, no job, no career or future prospects whatsoever. No one to help me or lift me above the raging river … no one that is except God. And myself, letting God help me.
mid 40s in AL
1. The first root of insecurity is rejection. I knew in my heart it had always been an issue, but until I read your book, I didn't place it as a "root" that needs to be pulled!! I went to school with some very wealthy girls (girls' preparatory school). Before you pass judgment here, the public high schools in our town at the time were very violent and my parents sacrificed everything (and I do mean everything) to keep me and my sister in that school. As we were not of the "elite" in town, I was very conscious of our inability to keep up socially and financially with what others had on a normal basis. I'm not complaining, but it was a fact that I think made me insecure from early on, and to this day, I still do not consider myself as having the ability to operate within those spheres, although I now have a great career as a corporate lawyer and I'm married to a very successful lawyer.
The second root of insecurity was the loss of my Dad (my biggest cheerleader and source of security) when I was in my early 30's. I adored him and his loss to cancer was a huge blow to me. That loss took me straight to the cross in a bigger way than ever and it is really where God and I began to truly converse. God has been my Source of Security since then and I praise Him for hanging in there with me when I looked for security in other places. That was deeply foolish and I lost precious time with Him in doing so.
2. The root of insecurity driven by media really struck me. I have in the past few years really focused on separating the media-driven images of security from reality as a woman. I am determined to translate that to the next generation (my daughter and others) so that they don't obcess or do stupid things – so that they learn to live in the freedom that is Christ…and live in it to the full. I want them to have security in Christ and a God confidence (Galatians 1:10).
Thank you for writing this book. I had you sign one to my daughter in Birmingham for the above reasons.
Doris
Trussville, Alabama
Married
50-something
WOW, I was convicted just reading Beth’s words for this weeks reading assignment that many of us even feel insecure about posting our comments. Looking back I know I have felt insecure most of my life. The roots come from many different sources – the instability and chaos of growing up in an alcoholic home with a very abuse alcoholic father (physically abusive of my mother which I witnessed on several occasions and of course experiencing the trauma of the after effects of the injuries to her). Even though I was very young, I was 3 when they divorced, I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome for many, many years. Even now at the age of 59 it will recur sometimes when triggered. On the heels of their divorce my mother became involved in a very obsessive love relationship with my adoptive father whom she married when I was 10 and who was also an alcoholic. Although he was not violent, they argued a lot and I lived with the fear of violence through their anger until I left home at the age of 21. Also the root of sexual abuse at the hands of my adoptive father, whom I loved and adored and whom I thought loved me, when I was 4 and 13 which I have since learned left lasting effects that I may never fully overcome even though God has already accomplished an enormous healing from it. Then the last and deepest betrayal after a 31 year marriage to, as it turns out, a man who is also an alcoholic (big surprise). After 31 years he chose to leave me first (2002) for the bottle then chose divorce (2008) for a younger woman rather than work on our marriage. The last betrayal is what I am struggling with most right now. That betrayal has so unhinged me that after two years I wonder if I will ever recover enough to enjoy life again. To make matters worse I have recently gone back to work in a hair salon with 12 women, (tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor). Women from all walks of life, background, ages, shapes and sizes. Not to mention the customers that come in. I feel like I’m in the school for insecurity every time I go to work. Until I started reading this book I never realized how much time I spend comparing myself to others, it’s so subtle that until this material made me consciously look for it I never realized it. I’m starting this book on the heels of studying Esther, one of my all time favorite books of the bible. I so want to become a woman of substance and confidence and not be knocked off my feet by fear and insecurity by the circumstances of life. Courageous enough to live life as it comes, and not always settle for the safe and secure, because life has taught me you can never be safe and secure enough. Something else will inevitably happen to know you off your feet whether you live life to the fullest or play it safe and settle for the mediocre.
I love you Beth and am amazed how God uses your ministry to know just what I need. I believe I have been born for such a time as this and it’s time to let him walk me through the healing process from my fears and insecurities. I love all your comments so much and find myself in your stories so much of the time. Thanks for sharing one and all.
Elaine
New Orleans, LA
Singe, 50's.
1. Rejection – one in particular and the “media exploitation” of 2010 as it relates to age and beauty.
2. It is my “perception” of this that has the power. If I separate myself and look at it, removed, it doesn’t have nearly the power I have allowed it to wield over my life. In fact, would it have any at all? Hmmm…
Whoa! Change my perception. Could it be that simple? Maybe what God wanted all along is for me to step back and view it in line with his truth instead of with my fear.
God intended for me to experience so much more – not held back by insecurity but to venture out in His strength.
Because of Breaking Free, I am more free that I ever dreamed I would be. This book is taking me a step further – eliminating the things that still attempt to hold me back.
Looks like I'm more secure than I was a week ago. 🙂
Susan
25
Clarksville, TN
Single
1. Rejection & Personal Disposition (and obviously pride is an issue for all of us.)
2. Mostly that it can be part of one’s personal disposition to be insecure, and that just coming out of the womb can make one insecure. I have definitely dealt head on with some of the roots of my insecurities over the past two years—particularly hurts from my well-meaning parents/family who wanted me to lose weight/get healthy while growing up (and even to this day), as well as rejection from all sorts of relationships. I have also been delivered from much oppression due to ungodly beliefs I had about myself (No one will ever love me; I’m not worth loving; I’m loved conditionally or according to my deeds; etc etc) and the Lord has helped me to replace those with Godly beliefs. However, I only recently began to see the flaming insecurity still prevalent in my life, despite the fact that I have experienced so much healing at the roots in so many areas. I truly believe part of my insecurity just derives from who I am, and that my sensitivity/compassion has just gone too far to the other side of the spectrum. I so relate to Beth when she talks about finding out someone doesn’t like her, etc. I also got really uncomfortable at the beginning of the book when she talked about how some of those unhealthy relationships won’t make it until the end of the book. Providentially, the Lord has already removed the primary relationship in my life that I found my security, or lack thereof, in, and now I feel truly free to seek security in the Lord. I hated losing that relationship, but I think it is definitely the Lord setting me up for freedom from this nasty beast of insecurity!
1) Thanks for sharing that it is ok to be a little predispositioned this way! I take it too far, but at least I'm not completely nuts! My two biggest roots of insecurity are (perceived) rejection and pride.
2)Roots will produce repeat fruit–I've been down this road before. I could see a similar pattern of significant loss, dramatic change, and perceived rejection twice in my life that produced a major time of insecurity. When I was young, we moved, my sister died, Mom went back to work, and was a workaholic (perceived rejection). Then 20 years later I had a loss of identity when I became a mom and quit my career (don't get me wrong-10 years down the road I'm still glad I'm a SAHM but it is a dramatic change!), we moved, my brother got married and I felt rejection from his wife (and him)- some real and a lot perceived. Pride and perfection was all wrapped up in it too.
But here is some hope! We just moved this past summer. And when I felt those feelings of insecurity bubbling up, I was working on my Siesta Memory Verses, and God's Word did a work in me! I still struggle with my SIL, but now I understand where it is coming from better and have hope that God and I can gain freedom in this too.
Shelly
married
30's
Texas
1. The two biggest roots of insecurity in me are rejection, and pride. I actually relate to ALL of the roots, but think these two have impacted me the most!! For sure,
I have had rejection my whole life starting with my mother who admits she didn't want to see me after delivery when she found out I was the 3rd girl, and not the son she longed for. Not long after that my dad left, and completely abandoned us, and even years later I have tried several times to build a relationship but the rejection continues. Also, my husband has been unfaithful to me.. WOW, I didn't realize until writing this just how much rejection I have had and felt..
But I think pride is my response to that in some ways. Which I didn't realize either until reading this book.
2.I feel The Lord spoke to me when I read that we can be so busy licking our wounds that they never heal. I feel that way a lot about my shortcomings. When I sin, when I think wrong thoughts even after I confess them, I am always reopening them.. Lord help me. Please.
I love Psalm 139, and have hope that my savior will set me free from this trap to serve him, and fulfil my purpose in this life.
My roots of insecurity are:
1 – rejection. I had a male family member who always put me down and made me feel worthless. I carried this with me as I grew into a young woman especially with guys. I acted as if I would be rejected and I think I scared people off. Although I thought I had recovered from the earlier rejection, I eventually married a man who rejects me by choosing other people and activites over me on a regular basis.
2 – pride. I realized this several years ago and have been working on it diligently. My attitude, thoughts, actions and feelings have changed for the better since I have a right view of God and myself.
Jeanine, Athens, NY
45, married
1) The two primary roots of my struggle with insecurity are rejection and pride. Rejection was a recurring theme throughout my life. I received the message (of the enemy's arrows) that I was not "enough" of anything from very early on. The pride issue stems greatly from growing up in church and serving faithfully and feeling as if somehow I should have earned some brownie points for that. Yuck,yuck, and more yuck.
2)The greatest insight I gained about the roots of insecurity was in the section of Ch. 5 where Beth discussed 'Personal Disposition'. I can certainly relate to the hypersensitivity thing. I have been known to go from crying my eyes out one minute to hysterical laughter the next. I am half optimistic extrovert, half pessimistic introvert. It's confusing to be me! I agree with you Beth, "identifying disposition as a possible contributor" to my insecurity does bring "some significant relief" and some needed perspective.
Thank you siestas for sharing your hearts out. I am encouraged by your courage. God's blessings to each of you. (I can't tell you how many typos I've made and tried to correct! : )
Kerrie
Alberta, Canada
30's
Married
The biggest root of insecurity was instability in the home and rejection. They are both stongly intertwined. My parents separated shortly before I turned 13. My dad left for another woman. My dad who had always had a bad temper turned increasing violent. My stepmother hated me and my siblings. She would act one way when my dad was around and another way when he wasn't. She said things to us kids, that I can't ever fathom saying to any child, and in retrospect I have determined that she must have been menatally ill. I suffered through much physical and emotional abuse. Due to all of this, I was an angry child, and my mom didn't know how to handle me, and so sent me to live with my dad where the abuses continued. I kept getting bounced back and forth between my parents, and eventually my dad moved across the country. But by that time the feelings that no one really liked me, let alone that no one really loved me was rooted very deeply. I even got sent away to school which just increased my feelings of rejection. I felt as if no one wanted me to live with them, they couldn't stand me, I was unloveable, but they had to tolerate me because I was their child. I was a complete train wreck. My feelings were exacerbated by the fact that when I decided to go to a counsellor to discuss the abuses I faced while living with my dad, she chose to believe him over me (him being handsome, charming and all). My friends parents were witnesses to my dad abusing me and notified the police, but when the police officer arrived, even though my dad admitted he did it, the police officer took me to his car and apologized that there was nothing that he could do for me. This left me feeling rejected by everyone, family, counsellors, the law. And I was so angry at God. I felt completely and entirely on my own. I spiralled out of control making one horrible decision after another. I would occasionally turn to God, but I didn't trust Him anymore.
But God will always seek out one of his own. And He found me, and showed me that He was not like my dad. He even told me in a dream before I fell away from Him for years that He would ALWAYS love me. I deliberatedly chose something that I knew God did not want for me, and after I chose it I thought that God would NEVER forgive me. I was really hung up on the "Heavenly Father" label, and thought that God's love would be conditional too. But it isn't. I am so ashamed that I believed that lie for as long as I did.
God can help me deal with those roots of insecurity, he has already healed me so much already. You just have to be ready to trust him…which isn't always easy.
1) I have to group "instability in the home" along with "rejection" as one root, since both of those plagued me growing up — between sexual molestation by a relative, and verbal/emotional/physical abuse by my father — I was definitely grounded in insecurity.
2) But then as I have learned to put all of this in its "proper place" over the years, pride has become my second root.
Interestingly enough, I didn't really realize this until reading it in your book! I think God has been trying to get my attention on this for quite some time and it was a real eye-opener as I was reading Chapter Six. I definitely have some work to do in asking God to help me overcome my prideful thoughts so that I may be truly released from the past.
Cathy
50's
Married
Lincoln, NE
Robin
50s
Indialantic, Fl
First of all, I am so excited because our Bible study group is in Chap. 8 of Esther right as Purim is celebrated! I just have to say this study is one of my favorites, we have been fed well! As for this study, I think a major root of insecurity comes from instability at home and having been molested. The part about feeling you will never be protected really spoke to me. I think that was the foundation for many of my choices. Fear was a HUGE factor in my life until I met Jesus. God had already showed me the root of rejection in my life as He prepared me for leadership, I had to work through that so I could be in front of women each week and not go home and analyze each and every word said to see if I said anything wrong, or worse, obsess over how well I did! Remembering it's all about Him; "For in Him and through Him and to Him are all things." Ro. 11:36 This chapter has been confirmation to me on many things, like guaging how much time you are exposed to media(tion), that it doesn't reach deadly levels:)
1. Instability in the home and a significant loss. The loss of a childhood and a mother / daughter relationship. My brother and I knew we were not wanted on a very deep level. My mother finally left us to move out of state to remarry. We moved in with my dad who did his best, but we were not nurtured or cared for as children should be. Now as a mom and adult, I still see effects of not having a mother / daughter bond or relationship and it is very hard. By God's grace alone, He has given me a heart to be a wife and mom who strives to glorify Him. In so many ways, I am a miracle.
2. The insight I've gained is… it is no wonder I have struggled most of my life with insecurity as I have experienced just about every one of the roots you identified! Even personal limitations, as I am blind in one eye. Now that I know the roots, I so desire God to dig it up and restore, heal, and deliver! Seems I've been round this thing so many times, and while God has done a mighty work in me, I so want to be F-R-E-E from this.
Lisa 40's married Edinburg,TX
1) Pride is the first root of my insecurity, and culture the second.
2)I was blessed to have a wonderful family life and pretty uneventful childhood. I was raised to know I could do what I put my mind to. Thus self esteem was not my problem. But I don't deal well when I'm not the best or someone doesn't like me, etc.(pride)I tend to compare myself with others whom I think I'm competing with in some way. I know God has been working on this issue with me for a while, especially since last summer. This book is really helping solidify what God has already been teaching me!
Thanks again and again Beth for writing this important book. I can't imagine who doesn't need to read it. Who's going to write the same kind for the guys in my life?? They need one too.
In Christ,
Lisa
Nicki
30's
Fuquay-Varina, NC
married
1)I think my 2 primary roots of insecurity would have to come from PRIDE, yuck, hate writing that, and my personal disposition. Ball of emotions here! I cry with most movies, during communion every Sunday, at Christmas Eve service, when I see children upset, and list goes on! There are powerful emotions running around in me!!! I definitely think I FEEL passionately about whatever it is… even it is to not have an opinion!!!
God is DEFINITELY working. I am also doing BREAKING FREE right now and I sense the timing is perfect! Praise him for that…. please be gentle, Father!
1.) The two primary roots of my insecurity stem from:
-A Significant Loss — One of my closest friends was killed by a drunk driver my junior year of high school. Not only was it devastating, but it plunged this previously care-free and "indestructible" 16 year old into a child and now woman "with the constant expectation that something bad is about to happen" (page 79-80). [Sidenote: Ten years to the NIGHT of the accident, I was feeling so overwhelming sad again and almost didn't go to Wednesday night Bible study that night, but I did because we were doing Beth's "Daniel" study and I really loved it. :0) That night, I will NEVER forget. It was Session 3, and Beth spoke of being delivered from the fire, through the fire, or "by the fire into His arms". I will never ever forget that night. It was like God was talking straight to me through Beth. Thank You Lord, and thank you Beth!!! I am still so insecure because of this horrible tragedy, but I got such healing from Beth's study and that night.]
-Rejection — I had a really bad break-up after dating a guy for 3 years. I was young and really loved this guy and thought he would be my future husband, so when he broke up with me, (like page 74 talks about) I definitely had a season of "temporary insanity". I stopped eating and starting literally running through the pain. The more rejected and hurt I felt, the less I'd eat and the more I'd run. It got to where I'd eat <1,000 calories while running 10+ miles per day. Not to be thin. Not to be athletic. Just because it temporarily moved the pain in my heart and the pain in my mind to pain in my body, and that seemed far less painful. "Why doesn't he love me?" "What is so ugly, wrong, or unlovable about me?" These were the questions I tried to run over and drown out with the pounding and pounding and pounding of pavement or a treadmill. God has now blessed me with a healed body and mind and an amazing husband who loves me more than I ever knew was possible, but I still have little pangs of hurt and rejection even today, and I am terrified to see my ex again…not because I am scared it would hurt, but because I am scared that he would disapprove of me or make fun of me. I guess that's not healthy, and I guess that means our 3 year relationship wasn't healthy. So it's actually a HUGE BLESSING that he did break up with me, but it still hurts so much to feel so rejected.
2.) Melissa's words on page 86 spoke STRAIGHT to my heart. God "knows it's scary to be us". That brought me such comfort!!! I mean, I know He knows everything, but to see it stated so clearly that He knows and understands all my insecurities and worries and fears was such a comfort; it helps to take away some of the guilt I feel about my insecurities and makes me feel more understood by God.
Jill
Spring, Texas
Happily Married
29
I am sitting in my office trying to make sense out of what God is doing in my life. I know that He began doing heart surgery about 4 years ago. The loss of a friendship, car accidents, surgery and more medical problems. I struggle with rejection from my father but I am happy to say that this past October I read him a letter that I wrote to him sharing how deeply wounded I was because of a remark he made to me as a young girl. I believe this is huge!!! I am so sad right now because I feel the rejection (my words) of friends once again. I don't want to confront them but deep down know that I need to. I so want to be rid of this insecurity and know that reading this book is the last phase of a very long journey to freedom. I am so ready to be done with this once and for all.
I need to know if any of you struggle with this. I don't even want to share this with my husband (a Godly man) because he has heard it so many times. What insights have you gleaned from the book? Do you also feel that God is tearing down every wall? It is so painful that I can hardly take it. Please, please give me some wisdom.
I love this safe place to be yourself!!!
2 Primary Roots of my insecurity
A. Perceived Rejection – practically from birth. The 3rd girl of 4, I never felt loved or loveable, though I grew up in a stable home with 2 parents who loved each other and loved their kids. Go figure….
B. Loss of Innocence at age 12
Insights: A + B = years in a deep pit! I’m so thankful that Jesus was so faithful to answer my mother’s prayers and that He didn’t just save me 25 years ago, but He has steadily been restoring my heart, stitch by stitch as Beth once said (I think in Jesus the One and Only…) and His healing continues. I think this book has come along at just the right time when I’ve been feeling more insecure as I go through a time of transitions. Glory to God, He is SO good!
Patty
50's
married
Kingwood,TX
1. Personal Limitations…growing up in a home with extremely protective parents even though their motives were pure, made me extremely insecure in my own ability to make decisions. Therefore, when I was able to make my own decisions, having had so little practice, I was not a very good decision maker. Thank the Lord that experience comes with age, for now I'm a much better decision maker!!
2. "Pride is the result of mistaking the eternal for the temporal"…love it!!! SO true! Anytime I think too much of this world, I become insecure…anytime I think of God and what all He has created for us to enjoy forever and always face to face with HIM, I just get too excited to worry about the temporal minutia!
1) I knew at a young age I was insecure but don't really know exactly when the realization started. My husband once said to me, "your life has been (and he used his hand to make a level or slightly uphill motion)like this." I never thought I was one who could hide my emotions, but I guess I can. I thought when he did that "if you only knew my inner struggles". I fit into dramatic change and personal disposition. I am sensitive and wear my feelings on my sleeve, but not as much as I used to. My dad is a retired minister and we did move about five times before I graduated from high school. I didn't recognize my resentment until I got older. Especially when my daughter was born, I was determined she would go to school with the same people and have some roots. She did…and does. She loves her home/hometown as a matter of fact. It seemed I was always leaving my friends once I got settled. It is a blessing I wasn't rejected at the new homes. However, my family seemed to be center stage wherever we were. Too much pressure! Also, all my life I've been concerned with finances. I shouldn't be. My husband and I have always had good jobs and God has provided stability in that for me, but I still concern myself with the "what ifs" and the future. I believe that goes back to being uprooted. I realized about seven years ago something was up with the desire for roots in my life when I began having dreams of losing my home or just being somewhere else. Strange how that crept up on me. As a preacher's kid, I felt like the radar was on me 24/7. It's a lot of stress for a young person and I can't say I don't worry to this day about what people might say or think of me more than what God thinks. I'm still a work in progress on that one. I'm in a position in my hometown where many know me and those things are just going to be. It has all pushed me to God. I can't tackle this on my own.
2) I've known since a young child that Jesus is my hope and my confidence. The scripture memory helps me focus on His security. Otherwise all the insecurities can creep up on me.
I've gained a lot of confidence over the years and there is something to growing up spiritually, but I really didn't have to read Ch. 5 to know what my insecurities are (were). I was ready to answer before I read it, but I did my reading first. 🙂
Richelle
TN
married
40's
1. My roots are are unstable home and rejection. My parents divorced when I was 7 yo and a year later my father filed for custody of me and my brother. He won; this was practically unheard of in the '70's for a single father in the military to take away his kids from their mother. My mother now had to wear the badge of "unfit mother" which I believe was just too much to bear on top of her other baggage so she blamed the whole thing on me. The next 15 years of my life became about "choosing sides." The day my father came to get us she literally pushed me away with both arms; I was crushed. Our relationship was broken and still is. Now its about control for her, but she still pushes people away to deal with her own hurt.
2. My realization is that I have developed a whole lot of perfectionistic driven pride to compensate for this. God has shown me I have such a desperate need to feel significant, i.e. that I am just too important to 'someone' to be pushed aside, that I see rejection when it is not there and I get hurt when I am not the first choice,most respected,or somebody's favorite. I know God understands this pride was my defense mechanism to keep me out of the loony bin after dealing with my family. But I see that He is calling me to let it go so we can move to the next place in my walk with Him. What I am really hoping is that my head knowledge that He has chosen me, that He thinks I am too significant to push aside will be come SECURE heart knowledge and therefore translate into different feelings and therefore behaviors.
-Jennifer, 30's, Florida
Hannah, 25
Lansing, MI
Married
1) My two primary roots of insecurity are "instability in the home" and "personal disposition." My parents had a very up and down marriage, which eventually lead to my mom leaving the house my first day of college (talk about a rough first day!) and ultimately divorce a year later. And I've always been a tenderheart – sometimes taking things way too seriously and often causing me to rehash things over and over again, making mountains out of molehills at times.
2) I really liked Melissa's quote on page 86…"He knows it's scary to be us." I felt God speak to me through that. He knows what I've been through in my 25 years of life. He knows the burdens and weights I've carried and how I've had to at times be more of a grown up than the grown ups in my life. Being the only Christian (aside from my husband) in my immediate family, however, reminds me that God has been pursuing my heart all along. Through everything I've experienced, God has been watching over me and guiding every part of my life. He's calling me to remember His faithfulness as I root this insecurity out!
Carol
Albuquerque N.M.
52yrs
Single
1. My insecurity comes from my childhood my dad was very mean to me and always putting me in my room and making me stay there and I would always get spanked for something my brothers were at fault for or something they did.
2.I just feel that people that I run into are going to judge me right away. I feel like I have to be a certain way for people to like me or I have to buy somebodys friendship so thats where my inferior is.
I know that God is working on me thru the book thanks for taking time to do this for us seista's
Carol
1. The 2 primary roots of insecurity I struggle with are pride and dramatic change.
2. The biggest insight God showed me was when you said, "A history of unwelcome changes can be a breeding ground for insecurity, because it invites you to become addicted to dread. You learn to live life with constant expectation that something bad is about to happen."
That's me!!!!! I'm in constant fear of something bad happening to my children, my husband, myself, and others who are important in my life, all because of dramatic changes that have occurred in my life: I missed half of my 7th grade year because of tourette. My dad was fired from a division I basketball coaching position not once, but twice so we had to uproot and move both times. My husband was fired as a division one basketball coach so we had to move away from my family and friends. I have 2 sisters who have been raped, ran away from home and continue to deal with being single-moms because of poor decisions. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 2 1/2 years ago, and struggle with day to day strength, joy and peace. I feel like I'm always waiting for the next dramatic change. It's a terrible fear I've been living with and I am sick to death of dealing with it!!!! Your words, Beth, have helped me validate why I live in constant fear of something bad happening in my life. Help me, Lord, to overcome this lie and rest in the knowledge and belief that You are God and the plans You have for me are not plans to harm me, but plans to give me hope and a future. Amen
Love you Beth!!! And I LOVE YOU LORD, my redeemer and healer.
Lisa
40's
Ohio
Married
First comment ever – first blog ever and "wanting to do it right", but doing it anyway. (It took me an hour just to figure this much out!)
Let's see – I'm 47 – married – living in Northern Wisconsin where there are more whitetail deer than people!
I am liking the book and the discussion although it feels so impersonal. I have always known the 'roots' of my insecurity, but have never looked at them. I've always ignored that I am insecure and hidden it well behind a facade of normalcy. Thank you for the honesty and strength to share. I know that insecurity is a burdeon for so many – beginning early in a girl's life and eating away leaving an emptiness that seems to never get filled – or talked about and how sad is that! My insecurity began in 3rd grade or so and continues to this day. I watch my children suffer and feel powerless to help. I believe that every woman would do well to read this book and share it with every girl/child in their lives as well. With God all things are possible and all emptiness can be filled
Leigh
Montgomery, AL
Married
41
When I read this week's quesions my initial thought was SIMPLE – You think these are simple questions???
This was a painful yet necessary challenge for me. I think the two primary roots of my insecurity come from (1) Being an overweight girl/teen/young adult with a thin mother and younger sister. I thought I was H-U-G-E but looking at pictures, I wasn't as fat as I imagined. I later learned my mother has an eating disorder and realize the impact that had on me and my sister.
(2) Pride. I didn't think of myself as prideful before reading your book. When I hit the lists on page 101 & 102, I felt like I'd been sucker punched. Oh, how I could relate. It was an AH-HA! moment. I am still working through releasing all of my pride/ego to God. I can't believe how blind I was to the problem with pride in my life. I think I had a picture of an arrogant obnoxious person as prideful. I don't think I'm arrogant or obnoxius but I am prideful. May I get my eyes of myself and on to God. Hebrews 12:1-2
See you next week!
Michelle
Wisconsin
40's
Married
I know my insecurity came from a very volatile home. My parents fought constantly and there was physical abuse. My father came chasing after me in our garage on Christmas Eve because I would not open the door for him. No wonder I do not like Christmas! I felt that nothing I did was ever good enough. This is something that I have had to face not doing to my children.
Second one is rejection. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My father left the home and about 2 years later moved across the country. Boy did this feel like rejection. On top of that my sister was the favored child by him, receiving things that were not given to me. Praise God that I don't hold that against her!!!
Insights I have gained I believe are still coming. I prayed today for a revelation from the Lord as to what He is doing in my life. I believe this is the last leg of a very long journey to freedom. I want the chains to fall off for good. That deserves an AMEN.
Thanks for your ministry to hurting women, Beth. I've never blogged before and may not again, but I will continue to read and pray for each of these dear women who choose to bare their souls in an honest effort to be healed by our Great God! The reason I'm likely not to blog again in this venue is that God directed me to give my SIGNED book to a precious young friend who apparently needs it more than I do at this time in her life! No time to acquire another to give her…had to be the one that was in my hand. OK, Lord…I trust YOU, be GLORIFIED! Blessings abundant to you all dear ladies, as we trust the Lover of our Souls to heal, build up, and sustain us.
Elsie
Scottsbluff, Nebraska
50's married
I think the first root of my insecurity would have to be pride. It’s funny….right now I’m battling pride, but I didn’t realize it was pride till I re-read page 101 where it says “we’re not the first choice, and that hurts our pride…..we’re not someone’s favorite, and that hurts our pride.”
I can think of a few times in the past couple of weeks where someone didn’t respond to me the way I wanted and it hurt….but I realize now that it was really my pride that was hurt.
The second root would be significant loss – at least, significant to me. 30 years ago when I was in Bible College, I lost my dearest friend for reasons unknown to me. I thought I had done something "wrong" to offend her, and always believed I was the cause of her turning her back on me. 25 years later I learned that someone in my immediate family had molested her and she was protecting our family's reputation by not telling anyone. When I found this out, not only was I angry with the perpetrator for robbing me of this friendship, and causing me to live the next 25 years believing I wasn't "good enough" to be a best friend, but I was also angry with the friend for keeping it a secret. I have since forgiven both of them.
Judi
Toronto, Canada
50's
1) My first root of instability comes from growing up in a home where little affection was shown. My parents were hard working people. They were never physically or verbally abusive and provided for us the best that they could. However, they weren't inclined to say I love you or give hugs, kisses, or even pats on the back. The first time I got a real hug was from my husband's mom when I was about 17. My arms hung limply at my sides – I honestly didn't know how to respond!
2) The second root would be rejection. I was never part of any sort of crowd at school. People mainly sought me out when they were on the outs with their group of friends. Through the years, I have come to realize that my truest and most faithful friend is the Lord. THANK YOU so much for the reminder in Isaiah 41: 9-10.
The insight that I gained and the sense I have from God is that He is calling me to forgiveness.
Angie, SD
married, 30s
Before I answer the questions I'd just like to give a little background about mine and my man's background. My ex-husband left me after 20+ years of marraige and my husband's ex-wife left him after about 30 years of marriage. Now, do you think we may have some insecurity going on in our home???
1. My first root of insecurity comes from rejection. I can get all worked up in a hurry about my man leaving. My second root of insecurity comes from dramatic change. I am the person described in the book who likes "sameness". These two roots of insecurity are intertwined and I so long to be free from them.
I sense that God would like to free me from these insecurities and totally trust him. As I stated earlier my thoughts can "get out there" so fast and I'd like to be free from that.
Judith
Married
50
1) source of my insecurity is personal disposition. Thank you for helping me identify it. I was blessed with a great family and childhood. I was always very shy, 3rd child between 2 loud siblings. Also struggle with pride.
2) If you've lived your life looking for someone to take care of you but always end up taking care of everyone else, your search is over. God has what you need and you'll never wear Him out!! I needed to hear that. Nobody else gets it but God does – I'm not alone.
Sylvia
Georgetown, TX
60's
single
1. The primary root of my insecurity comes from watching my mom feel insecure. Even though she is a very accomplished person, she has not ever gotten the recognition she felt she deserved from her family – mainly, her mother. I feel the same way. At 2critical times in my early adult life, she made comments that altered the course of my career and my mate. While I do not regret either decision now, I have often wondered, "why didn't she encourage me instead of telling me that I couldn't try?"
2. I feel a little stuck at this point in the book, but it has been good therapy for me. The questions being asked of me are a salve to my soul, and I know that you have to walk through the muck to get to the beauty. I just hope the muck ends soon.
1. I think my two primary roots of insecurity are instabilty in the home and our culture.
2. God opened my eyes to the pride root. I was shocked on how much of my normal life is considered prideful. I never thought of myself as full of pride and over confidence, but when you laid it out like that, I was shocked. Thanks for showing me more things to pray for! 🙂
Have a great time at your ranch. Thanks for letting us read this book with you. So need to be able to read this with the author!
Stephanie
Lititz, PA
married
30
1) My first root of insecurity comes from the loss of my father at 12. My second root of insecurity comes from the media's depiction of young women.
When I was reading these chapters in a NY airport this past weekend, I really felt a sense of God's presence in my life. I'm a softee, so I kinda teared up. (I put on my glasses so no one would notice!) I never thought that a loss in my life so many years ago could effect my personal security as a young adult. Thank God for his enlightening and revelation on that issue! Now that I know the root of my insecurities, I can't wait to find out how to give these insecurities over to God!!
Beth we love you in Winston-Salem, NC!!
Ashleigh
Law Student
Single but loved!
24
Winston-Salem, NC by way of Columbia, SC
1. Personal Limitations
2. Pride
IF I CAN'T 'DO' I'M NOT WORTH MY SALT:
I grew up in an achievement-oriented environment. I have made great strides, largely because of my dear husband, in overcoming the "worth-by-doing" mentality, but it still plagues me at times. Because I have back problems (personal limitations) that are keeping me down quite a bit right now, I struggle with not being able to "DO".
PRIDE IN ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND THE RECOGNITION THEY BRING:
My pride is hurt when I can't do and be good at the things I usually do……when I can't keep my house the way I want it, or a meal isn't to the standards I have set for myself, or I can't show up to photograph an event, or_________. So. 🙂
Take me higher up and further in, LORD.
Debbie
Ethel, WA
50s
Married
Newbie
1.I think the main root of my insecurities are personal disposition & Pride/Rejection(fear of). It's not exactly rejection I'm fearful of…but more an ambivalent attitude I feel others have about me. Isn't that the perfect defintion of a "wallflower"? I have always felt less qualified, less fun, less "likeable" than other friends. I really don't know where the root lies…which maybe makes alot of my insecurity predisposed?
2.My personal goal: To own and confess my fears and allow God to change my heart.
As a side note…I see many of my tendencies transferred to my daughters. Even though I've fought tooth and nail to "build them up". Heredity and the family atmosphere (personal disposition?) have obviously played a big part in my daughter's lives too.
I forgot to post my info on the last post:
Texas
40's
married
My dad beat my mother the whole time I was growing up.Then He died when I was 12. My mom always seemed to be in a world of her own. She had also lost 2 children and she just was not emotionally there for me.I felt shame for being diffrent from other kids,and I also became overweight which only made things worse.
I still feel big and awkward and not as good as others. Once at a conference in Boise, Beth, you came and sat on my lap and I got so embarased I could not speak,now that is insecure. 54 Idaho
1) Rejection and dramatic change are 2 of my roots of insecurity.
2) I am thankful that God is opening my eyes to what the roots of my insecurities are. Sometimes I get caught up in my emotions and thoughts, and I have not really recognized where these insecurities have come from. They are very clear to me as I have read these chapters.
God is also speaking to me about pride. I am the perfect picture of the perfectionist and the one that feels they need to control and "fix" situations..even when they do not need to be fixed or are beyond my control! At the same time, I feel very weak, inferior, and have low self esteem. Although I try to "mask" those feelings, they are evident to others. That makes me feel even more insecure!
I am continually reminded of the verse in my "spiral": "He is my constant source of stability. He abundantly provides safety and great wisdom; He gives all of this to those who fear Him."
Isaiah 33:6
Kimberly
New Port Richey, Fl
40's
married
If insecurity could be hereditary that is where my roots are. My mother is one of the most insecure people I’ve ever encountered and while I suppose she was trying to help me avoid what she battled, she succeeded only in passing along her insecurities. Nothing was ever good enough, I could never measure up and one had to be continually worried about what other people thought. She would tell me that I shouldn’t feel or think the way I was thinking or feeling so before long I stopped telling her how I felt or what I thought and became far more introverted than my personality would seem to dictate. There was a right way for everything and clearly I didn’t have a clue what it was. I was not rebellious and difficult, in fact I was obedient and compliant and while she wasn’t verbally abusive in terms of yelling and screaming I went to some effort to avoid being alone with her so I didn’t have to be quizzed and corrected. I suppose I knew that my mother loved me but I’m convinced she didn’t like me much. I suppose the need for affirmation stems from not having gotten much of it when I was young. I don’t crave attention, just someone to tell me I’m worth something, that I've done a good job or made some small impact. There have been times when I’ve thought perhaps I would attempt to rehash the past and try to resolve some of the issues I have with Mom. But she has dementia and she doesn’t remember things the way they actually happened and it doesn’t work to correct her mistaken memories. There were no such issues with my Dad, in fact I knew without doubt that he loved me and thought I was terrific. I don't know why that couldn't be enough.
I believe God has been trying to tell me for some time that the affirmation I so desire needs to come from Him alone. He is the only One who can bestow worth, and His approval is the only approval necessary for a whole and healthy life. My head knows that very well, sometimes my heart takes a while to catch up.
Arlet
Fircrest, WA
Married
60’s
This is my first comment! After reading these two chapters, I was amazed at the clarity God gave me regarding the roots of my insecurity.
I dated a guy in high school for 2 1/2 years. He was my first love and my best friend. During our senior year, however, he told me that he wouldn't date me once I went away to college. It was the first significant rejection of my life. And, it also felt like a significant loss because he literally cut me off. I never heard from him again.
Until I read this book, I had no idea how profoundly that one rejection impacted me. Now, I can see the destructive path I set out on in the wake of that rejection. I went to college, became a magnet for men who would reject me (surprise, surprise), and struggled with an eating disorder.
My sophomore year, I left college to work back home and go to school at night. Soon after that, I met my husband. I see now that God had His hand on my life. He took me off of that path and put me on a better one.
What also became clear to me was that for 17 (!) years, I have had dreams about this high school sweetheart. These dreams would always disturb me because I'm committed to my husband. I love my husband. But I couldn't shake these dreams.
Now I see that the dreams had nothing to do with me wanting the relationship back. They had everything to do with me wanting the acceptance back. They were the result of me wanting to undo the hurt and rejection I had experienced.
Rejection still haunts me. The biggest fear I have in my marriage is that my husband would leave me for another woman. But, I feel like God is about to change that. The pieces of my life are starting to fit together, and I'm getting a clearer picture of God's incredible love for me.
A new day is dawning, and I'm starting to see security ahead. 🙂
1. What are my two primary roots of insecurity?
First & foremost would be personal disposition. I was always especially tenderhearted as a child. Like you, Beth, I too FEEL everything & feel like my emotional nerve endings are exposed live wires.
The second root of insecurity comes from instability in the home. Not that my parents fought like wildcats, or abused me. But there was never a real loving family. They "tolerated" one another because when you married divorce was not an option. It was not a "loving" home.
2. What insight did I gain & what do I sense God trying to say to me?
Identifying personal disposition was a significant relief to me too. I sensed God saying, "I made you to be tenderhearted, to FEEL people" There is a purpose to my disposition.
I also felt God speaking to me in the statement on page 68, "I believe with all my heart that every adult has a need to be loved like a child." I feel like I missed that in my childhood. And then Beth went on to say, "If you've lived your life looking for someone to take care of you but always end up taking care of everyone else, your search is over. God has what you need, and you'll never wear Him out." That statement was very freeing for me. I need God to love me like a child and I need to know that I won't wear HIM out.
Thank you Beth for inviting us to share this journey to SECURITY with you.
Sherrie
Martinsville, VA
Married
40's
1. The two primary roots of my struggle are rejection and pride.
2. There are two things that jumped out at me – for the rejection root, it was on pg 77 "God knows exactly what happened and what a toll it took." I can't even begin to explain what that means to me. And on page 101 "pride talks us out of forgiving and steers us away from risking." That's not the type of daughter I want to be for my King.
Interestingly enough, I read this right before going to help with the high school youth group at my church, and during a special time of prayer over our physical, social, mental, and spiritual lives, God really spoke to me to just stop, and let it go. He & I know what "it" is, and by the grace of God I can't wait to claim with security "I am what I am."
Crystal
Mid-twenties
Married
Shippensburg, PA
…following up to my week 3 responses after today's episode…at church!…being strong enough to be willing to be able to let go of my son's issues that I have no control over is not the same as knowing every time WHAT those are. If it were the same things that set him off, that would be one thing, but it never has been. Oy! So, I still have more learning to undergo. I'm tired & very discouraged.
Diane
40
Ogden, Ut
divorced
First of all, I did post in the beginning, but it did not stick. And I am a little behind. I just finished ch. 5 and wanted to post. I am now about to be 47 years old. Never married, but had a son. While growing up, I was abused every way but sexually. I was born to a 16 year old mother that was psychologically messed up along with becoming an alcoholic and she did that way when I was 40. I also was born with severe scoliosis. So yes, I have lived a very very insecure life. But I know that I am not alone. Most in this day and age do come from some kind of dysfunction. Due to my insecurities, I was like the ladies you described at the restaurant. I was so hungry for any kind of affection that I became pregnant at 22 and alone. Now, my 24 year old son is suffering many issues b/c of what I did. And did I love my son??? Everyone knew he was my life. But raising him alone gave him problems I never knew about until the last year. Anyway, I thank God that God is a restorer of the breach and if He can heal my heart (its a work in progress as always), He can heal anyones. I am grateful that you are shining the light on how this insecurity gets into us. I'm sure you will shine the light on how it gets out of us in the following chapters. And His name is Jesus!
🙂
Good night beloveds.
Jeni
NO LA
46
S
Sandy
Winkler, MB Canada
40's
Week 3-Personal dispostion and rejection are my primary roots of insecurity.
Week 4-Mostly we need to walk away from our Babylon's. To become aware of and then deal with them. Yes, God did speak to me in my feelings of inadequacy. Starting a new job, being the "new kid on the block" has had me facing feelings of "I will never get the hang of it.At my age, what was I thinking? did I do the right thing?" It is scary if I let it get to me. So I pray before the beginning of each shift for God to stay with me and help me through it all.
Mrs. Beth,
God still speaking so strongly to me through this book..
1. I really struggle with feeling blame from insecurity in my home. I know everyones parents has differences and arguments, but I felt like my dad always tied me into the problem. I always had to choose. I hated it! I didn't want to pick anyone's side…
Second root is probably rejection. I just never can wrap my little head around how God could love me this much…with the relationship with my dad broken, I always have a hard time thinking that a "heavenly dad" would love me, when I can't be good enough for someone who is here on Earth with me.
2. Isaiah 41:9-10 verses brought just an inner peace. I have heard that verse, read that verse, but until tonight probably never thought God was saying, "Devin, I have chosen you, and have not rejected you. I don't have to fear that I am not loved, or that I am not good enough, and I don't have to choose a side anymore. When I became his child, Feb, 26, 2003, he is with me. I could shout right now…To know that someone thinks I can be that special.I would also consider myself a perfectionist, this came from being an athlete.I wanted to please everyone, all the time. However, realizing if I focus on that, I will constantly set myself up for failure. I am wonderfully made by him, right? So, I need to focus with the eternal perspective and drawing others to him, not focusing on what I don't "feel" I do well.
Devin