Hey, Girls!
I am sitting in the passenger seat of my man’s blue Ford truck with a bird dog’s head on my shoulder heading west to cactus country for a few days. Do you remember that place I told you about where I have to hike with a shotgun because of all the rattlesnakes? Yep, that’s where we’re headed. I don’t think I told you that Keith only lets me have one shotgun shell (thanks, Adrienne!) per walk so I only get to run into one snake at a time. For those of you who have been around for a while and are wondering, yes, we have Star, our Border Collie with us, too. She’s too busy looking out the window trying to herd the traffic to snuggle with me though. It would be tough to type with both on them on top of me anyway.
I’ve been thinking about you every single day. I have no idea how many of your comments I’ve read. Tons. Because we get the whole week to finish the assignments, I can read a certain amount almost every single day. I’m getting to keep up even better than I’d hoped. I really thought this would be a neat experience but you have surpassed my expectation in your answers and insights. The transparency is so incredibly refreshing. So many wonderful things have hit me in the last two weeks as we’ve gone through the first four chapters together. There’s one eye-opening and troubling thing I want to talk to you about before we proceed to our assignments. I’ve been touched by how many of you (thankfully) confessed that you even feel insecure about your comments and about whether or not the other women participating will think you’ve said something lame. Others mentioned being scared they’d misspell a word. As we seek freedom from God, let’s not let the enemy mess with us that way. Let’s not give over one inch of extra ground to the very issue we’re trying to escape.
What do you say we make this discussion stream a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE? What do you say we make a conscious choice not to compete with one another? Not to judge one another? Not to try to measure up to one another or feel less or more than the other? We have to put up with all that trash almost everywhere else a group of women meets up. We can make up our minds not to have to put up with that here. We are smart women. We can determine to share our struggles, challenges, and victories over insecurity without feeling insecure about them. Talk about double indemnity! In Jesus’ Name, let’s make up our minds to treat one another with respect but not give a rip about trying to keep up or compete. Even while we’re on our journey to freedom, let’s make this community a microcosm of what we hope, when it’s behind us, to find and to become. I can’t think of a better place for us to practice making up our minds not to let circumstances or people draw out our insecurities.
I esteem you highly and find you so entirely interesting. What I’ve learned from you already can’t be overstated. I have become increasingly certain over the last two weeks that God is up to something BIG among us. Bigger than I first thought. In fact, I can tell you this. There’s no way we came up with this. God is pursuing us. He’s setting us up to get sick and tired of our insecurity and to do anything we must in order to find wholeness in Him. Let’s not stop Him in any way.
Oops, I got distracted for a minute. We just stopped at a Valero’s near Llano, Texas, for a bathroom break and Star started barking her head off at a man minding his own business and walking into the store. “What on earth is the matter with you?” I asked. (To Star, of course. Not the man.) Then I saw what he was wearing. Short shorts with winter white legs and black socks. I think Star is terrified by black socks against bright legs. Somebody tell me why that dude didn’t feel insecure. Not really. Don’t get off on that. But admit it. It’s a mystery.
OK, so let’s get to this week’s assignments. We’ve reached a very important point in our journey. We’re about to dig up eight deep roots of insecurity. No, we’re not looking for excuses but a little understanding can go a mighty long way. Haven’t you ever wondered why it dogs you so? You may be about to find out. This week I’d like for you to give special attention to Chapters FIVE and SIX. Here are the two questions I want you to answer here on the blog:
1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.
2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)
These may sound like simple questions but I promise you we will have some interesting reading this week. Go to it, Girlfriends! I can’t wait to hear from you. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to make your comment. By the way, a number of you have asked if women can jump in late with us. Absolutely! Any time. Everybody’s welcome.
Here’s a special challenge this week: Let’s still hear from all of you who’ve been commenting over the last two weeks but let’s ALSO hear from at least one hundred of you who have never posted before. Remember, this is a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE. Get in there and learn how to make a comment and if you find it posted later and see that you misspelled a word, who cares? This journey will mean ten times more to you if you get all the way into it. Come on in and participate. This is a really cool group of women.
Come, Lord Jesus, and minister to us. Open our eyes. Open our hearts. Grant us signs of great freedom and healing even this week as we discover where our insecurities may be coming from. We know, Lord, that no flesh and blood can bring us what we need. If we come out of this with liberty, all glory will go to You alone. I love You, Father. Do Your Thing.
Laurie 
1) I think my first root of insecurity comes from growing up poor. I tend to think everyone else has more than me even now.
2) Feeling socially inferior because of being dumped by 3 friends in school over the years and never having any good friends at church. I had a pretty low popularity in my church youth group. I'm so thankful I was tight with God or I might have blamed Him and the church! 🙂
I sense God doing something awesome too and I'm excited. I feel like I can see a new me on the horizon and that give me the faith and hope to stick with this. I believe God can change me and I can't wait to see what He'll do.
I have not heard Him speak directly to me during this book reading yet, but He revealed so many things to me during your conference here in Memphis in October.. It's amazing how many of them have to do with this book. And a lot if it wasn't even related to what you said that weekend, but some of it was. So it all ties together. God is doing something so much bigger than we can imagine or see with our eyes!
I just wanted to thank you for posting your words this morning. I have been doing the reading and questions but to handicapped by fear and insecurity to post my answers on here. I'm learning so much through reading this book and what God is showing me. As a woman in ministry, I struggle so much with never feeling adequate enough to do what God has called me to. Thank you so much for the invitation to be open about who we are and not worrying about competing with other women. I will make an effort to answers the questions on here this week and not just to my self. 🙂
Julie
Dallas, GA
married
30
Beth – I'll post my answers later, but I had to tell you that it's shotgun SHELLS, not bullets! I would just hate for you to not have the right terminology! And boy, I hope my saying that doesn't make you feel insecure in any way…!
Hope you and Keith have a wonderful time at your ranch land.
Much love and hugs,
Adrienne, who is already much more secure
Testimony to the "challenge"…
I had to jump on here and post. I'm in a leadership position at church and last night at church a woman verbally came after me. It was totally unprovoked and seemed to come from absolutely nowhere. I was understandably quite upset after the ordeal and even shed a few tears. But then something happened. A voice said, "God saw that. He knows exactly what happened." Even though it was upsetting to me, I was so excited that He is beginning to overtake my emotions and reactions, and I could have jumped up and down for joy. I even feel compassion for the woman and prayed for her that God would meet her emotional needs. I just needed a place to share that!
Michelle, Tampa
30's and married
thanks for deeming this area a no intimidation zone. I've been reluctant to respond so far, one reason being exactly what you mentioned. I'm new to this and worried about reactions
married
51
ontario, canada
Beth,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. Amen! Let's be free women here in this community. I'll respond more later. You and Keith have a blast!! Let us know what you see at the next Valero. 🙂
Susan in OKC
After reading Beth's post for today I realized how fragile we can be. To even have a moment's thought about how we are viewed, mostly by women we will never even meet in this lifetime! I had some of these feelings too – I have read the posts and thought most of you are sooooooo deep in your thinking. I am a simple woman with simple thoughts and I wondered if I should even bother to post them. I am going to jump in with all ten fingers and type away!!! Thanks for giving me the permission I need to just be myself and look forward with great anticipation to who the Lord is growing me to be in Him!!! Praise to the Father!
Jeanine
Wisconsin
40's
I believe that my roots of insecurity come from: a significant loss-(I was 12 when my Mom died from cancer)complicated by a step mother that I could never please.
Also pride in the form of perfectionism. I guess the insight I've received is that I'm prideful, even when I feel like I have such a low self esteem.
The primary roots which sprouted insecurity in my life were: Instability in my childhood home and significant loss through the years. Significant loss includes the loss of parents and a family that "should have been", divorce, mental illness, premature deaths, ego driven lives, and marrying the "exact" baggage I was carrying, just a different brand. My children experienced the unresolved and unhealed generational patterns. I almost lost my beautiful son to depression and anxiety.
I believe insecurity robbed me of the life God had planned for me and my loved ones. I developed coping skills which began to mask any evidence of insecurity.
I sense that God would like to heal the generational wounds and imprint new and healthier patterns in my family and future generations. That has been my quest over the past 12 years. I pray my sons will be released from the negative generational patterns by the healing power of our Lord.
What appeared to be family "values" were acutally family "idols" which related to protecting the ego- perfectionism, money, workaholism, education, "better than", secrecy of inappropriate behaviors- on and on
I pray our Lord will heal and bless those "thousands" of generations coming after me and that I will witness the health of my descendants through the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.
I’m so there. Different family values/idols and different losses/roots, but the generational stuff–yeah baby. It took a while for me to realize that I was still feeding into things, because that was “their” problem and I wasn’t _______, right? (Think enabler, negotiater, abuse victim–all in the name of believing I was a “peacemaker”)
The breaking of generational bondage is no easy task, and before you can hold the gate open for your children, you have to pick the lock yourself. Anybody got a hairpin? No, better yet, anybody got one of those bumper things that just pops any standard lock in no time? lol
I’ve been through Breaking Free, and I am rid of a lot, but the death of my father brought a whole lotta stuff back up to the surface, and even more things I never saw in the first place.
I forgot to say
Missouri
32
married
Thanks Beth for saying what needed to be said. My heart has been burdened reading of dear sisters in Christ harming themselves, beating themselves up, and hiding their light under a basket. Oh, BOY, are we ALL dealing with the same feelings and projecting a "together" exterior. But God knows, and HE chose each of us to meet each Thursday morning. Thank you God. Exactly, this is Satan's lies whispering his drivel in our heads….so let's beat him at his game…let's read, reflect, and post our hearts out with mispells, mistakes, omissions, whatever. But let's be real. . . at this this one place…it's safe with Beth. Hugs dear ones.
My book arrived and although I'm behind, I will catch up and join in.
You guys have a great time!
Love you,
Valerie
1) Having an overly critical parent has had a profound effect on my sense of insecurity. As much as I adore my mom today, and as convinced as I am that she did her very best, I frequently battle a line of thinking that says, "If my mom couldn't love me past _________ (a bad hair day, acne, extra weight, any grade less than perfect, a talkative personality, etc.), how could anyone else find me lovable?"
2) In so many ways, I feel like God's trying to say "get over it" — not in an insensitive way, but in a "I have so much more for you if you will let go of that and quit revisiting it" way. Understanding where it comes from will hopefully help me not to pass it on to others.
single
31
Fort Worth, TX
Good morning Beth! Thank you so much for your words this morning…they were like a warm blanket to me (and trust me, it is COLD here this morning!)….I love that you have made this an intimidation free zone. I have not yet posted any answers….partically because of fear, partially because I have 2 sons, ages 5 and 2, and it seems that Thursday morning rolls around before I even realize it. I am LOVING the reading….it has made me realize that so much of how I operate is based on insecurity…and I never really even realized it before. I promise to do my best to post my answers this week….I love ya and I love that you love the Lord…and that you allow us to go with you on this journey. Have a fantastic trip!
Michelle
Clanton, AL
Married
31
Eye just whantud two sey thanck ewe fore instyling the "know ensecuredy zoan."
Now, eye wil nevur hav two uze sppel chek.
By the way, I am the biggest offender of this. I am, on a more serious note, grateful for these first four chapters AND am having to restrain myself from reading ahead. I know you can, but I am trying to stay with the group. 🙂
I love all of you my sisters in Christ!
Humbly,
Becky
Richmond va
married with kids. 🙂
chasing Jesus.
1) REJECTION and personal disposition would be my top two.
2) Two of my favorite insights: "Let God validate your challenges. Somewhere along the way, we've been made to believe that these things aren't that big of a deal, but actually they are."
"Insecurity can result from a broken attachment of any kind, even one that seems relatively minor to others. If it translated as something huge to your heart, it is huge to God on your behalf."
~Lindsey
Jenks, OK
20s, single
My parents. We had no respect or like for one another. The love came only out of obligatin.
Our home was very negative and there was never any peace growing up and it just got worse.
I have to stop blaming them and start taking responsibility for my own self and my own insecurites.
God is spekaing to me that I am in charge and that it is my life and I have to have that trust in Him and that relationship with Him.
single
40's
irrelevant – insecurity later. Beth, the Revelation study is ministering to me in an AWESOME (I wish you could hear my voice and see my gestures) way. My group finished Daniel in December. Perfect timing.
Thank you for the "no insecurity zone"! I know there are many women from my area doing this study and heaven forbid they read my posts! I responded the first week, didn't respond last week, but am jumping back in. I need this!! Have fun in the Hill Country, Beth and Keith.
Celeste
Thompson's Station TN
50s
Married
Have you ever had an exposed tooth root? Thats what this feels like. Painful, but oh it needs attention!
Growing up my father was emotionaly distant, and not affirming. I craved his attention, oh I was ready to please. This root of real and perceived rejection has been the primary root of my insecurity.
The insight I have received is about my perception. Even though my perception seemed very very real, I now see some of it was the enemy's deception. With eyes wide open I am seeking the truth.
God is doing a deep work, through His precious Word, when He says that He calls me by name, He is pursuing me, and showing me the Treasures of darkness. Is 45:2 He is showing me the Truth, and it is setting me free. Oh, we have such a kind,kind Abba
Pam
50's
Rochester, Mn
My first root of insecurity comes from being a person who is open with my feelings, emotions. If I feel something like being hurt or sad, I will cry easily! If I am upset or angry I will voice it… I have found that many people don't like this, they (I think/believe) prefer to hide their feelings. I don't like being fake, I believe to have an honest open and real relationship, people should be open, but, of course with respect! This is so far from what it is in our culture.
Second, since I have been ill for the past 8 years it is so difficult to share the "WHY" I am ill. I have been judged, criticized and yes, abandoned! It is so so hard to share this…. I know that sharing the reason as to why I am so ill has caused people to not believe and or think that there is a solution to why I"m ill other than the truth! I spoke a bit about this earlier….. My question is….. How do anyone of us know exactly what the truth is, when do we stop, really stop and just listen to what someone is saying. I am alone in my suffering, well, not completely, I have my husand, who knows who I was before I was sick and why I am sick! He believes and knows the truth…… I have met hundreds of people around the world who share the same suffering!
But, this journey is still sadly a very lonely and not understood one. It is hard to fit in where there is not understand or when the truth is not unfolded.
I just wanted to add that for the life of me I don't know how you battle those snakes Beth? I live in northern Ontario, Canada. We battle oodles of snow and I mean lots of it. I'd much rather deal with this…. we have gardener snakes up north and they are harmless. They are scared of us…lol. I still am petrified of them. God Bless and my prayers are with you and I love this book….. I'd really love to hear some ministry from you on some other topics such as The Fear of God and one I find difficult are…. Calvinism and Arminianism.
Yes, thank you, Beth, for creating a safe haven for all of us to interact.
1. Like Laurie, I grew up poor and attended a fairly well-to-do school. I was teased by the other students because of my clothes, or lack thereof. I typically had two pairs of jeans and three shirts each year for school. Even today when my closet bulges with clothes, I don't feel I have enough or the "right" thing to wear.
2. Rejection is also a huge source of insecurity for me. I can remember being fairly confident my first few years of school and then a pivotal moment happened that I let define who I am. In fourth grade my friends and I were playing "Boys Chase the Girls" at recess. I ran my heart out all over that playground and when the bell rang I was elated to discover that I was the only girl who hadn't been caught. Expecting my best friend to share my joy, I blurted out, "I did it! I ran so hard I didn't get caught!" She looked at me with a smug, all-knowing look and replied, "The reason you didn't get caught is you're ugly–nobody wanted to catch you." As silly as it seems, this comment still haunts me. I was devastated that this was my best friend's opinion of me. I still worry that people think I'm ugly and that they won't want me.
Through reading this book, God has led me to end a very unhealthy relationship. Even though this person has been hard to get along with over the years, I stuck through it because I would get an occasional crumb thrown my way in the form of a compliment. (Oh yeah, I'm NOT ugly!) This person is exceptionally beautiful and I foolishly thought if we were friends I would be beautiful by association. Thank the Lord that I can finally see that this "friendship" was making me even more insecure than I already was.
Melanie
Nebraska
Married
40's
Good Morning Beth! and.. Beloved fellow discussion ladies… Its an honor to join this group– my 1st comment! YAY! This study has quickly become a daily focus of my prayers! Both for myself and my small group and for you all out there! I believe as with many women- I have isolated a huge insecurity in my life dealing with (weight & appearance) While I work at concentrating on becoming (Fit) this year- finally.. I cant help but wonder (What is Enough?)
Chapters 1&2- dealing with the (Man) attention- hit home.. I being divorced 5 yrs now- praying God to send me (his choice) keep trying to help him! I believe both this issue as well as insecurity/fear speaking in large group-settings as a(Ministry/Leader Wise) Are my top
(2) top items..
Thank You so much for the study-the Blog opportunity and the fellowship-
We love You Beth!! God bless.
Helen-46 Chesapeake,VA
A lot of mine came from a close relative who was verbally abusive to females in his life about their mental capabilities and weight.
(This is a first-time comment for this series…I'm one of those 100 you wanted!)
Whew! Thank you Beth for those words of wisdom re: feeling insecure about our posts! I, for one, am the one you are so talking about. Those words God gave you to say give FREEDOM to this perfectionist! Why in the world do I worry so about that stuff? Have a BLAST out in the country. Will post my answers later once I finish reading the chapters.
Probably I'm not the first to notice the irony in this, but when I click on "comments" to blog my bit, a "security information" box pops up that says: "This page contains both SECURE and NONSECURE information. Do you wish to display both the secure and the nonsecure?" Ha Ha!
The two prominent roots that rang bells with me in Chp. Five & Six were the personal disposition and the instability in the home. It also strikes me that, depending on the personality of a given individual, instability in the home will impact different temperments differently. In my case, sensitivity became hyper-sensitivity.
Today I realize that most people are so focused on themselves and their own hang-ups and insecurities that they either spend way less time and attention contemplating those of others or else become fixated on certain individuals (movie stars, American Idol, prominent persons).
Bertie
50's
Married
Houston, Tx.
Just this morning, I was thinking how my pastor has asked, via facebook, for input on our reading assignments. No one has responded yet and my thought was, "I think we are all too insecure to respond!" Then, I read your blog, today, calling for a "no intimidation zone." Thank you,Beth, for creating a safe place for us all to participate. I, for one, had not posted a comment yet. I struggle with feeling that I don't have anything new or relevant to bring to the discussion. I look forward to the opportunity to push past that insecurity!
Tracy, Vancouver
40's, married
I think my two primary insecurities are my personal disposition and pride/perfectionism. My tendency is to be overly introspective, making me self-consicous and insecure.
I make demands on myself I cannot keep, and rather than accept my weakness and his freedom of who I am in Him, that He is the one who writes his law on my heart, that the mercy seat covers all demands of the law, I try to produce a righteousness of my own. And get mad when I fail. This is pride.
I'm sensing the Lord say, (though I'm terrified of listening fully) that he has good plans in store for me and I need not be so fearful of failure or not meeting my unrealistic expectations. To be humbled to realize I really am human, no different from anyone else – and that he loves me anyway, AND, Lord have mercy, that he still wants to use me in spite of it. God forgives and saves us so that we might love and serve him. Somehow I think that includes everyone but me.
Tell us, Beth, why do those of us in self-condemnation have a hard time tuning in to the voice of God? Anything positive I chalk up to the pride of my own heart. It's like the book says, that prideful people can have a low self esteem with grandiose thoughts of themself all rolled in to one – so how do we discern the voice of God amidst the mess?
Wow this book is just what I need God is always on time never late! I'm just joining the blog and I am in chapter 5. I can't tell you how many times I've thought while reading the book "Oh that is why I feel like that". Thanks Beth for being so precious and so real .
I'm feeling secure enough to confess that I am very behind in my assignments (I've only completed the first one), and this is why I haven't commented yet. 🙂
I like the no intimidation zone idea. I am meeting with a group of women to discuss the book this evening. I think I will introduce the no intimidation zone idea to the ladies. Please pray for our meeting and for me. It will be a long, hard, stressful day for me before the meeting. Somehow I have to leave all my fatigue, anger and frustration behind and think clearly enough to share my heart at the book study meeting. Lord help me!
I'm one of your 100 newbies. I'm a little behind on the reading. I've read through chapter 2. Just got my book…and am in the process of catching up! It's a wonderful book and it's all I can do to discipline myself to put it down and go to work! It's scary how much this book is a reflection of me, and yet I wasn't really expecting it so. It should have my name in the title. That's scary! I will tell you honestly that I've spent a few days being a little frustrated and almost mad….not at you, sweet Beth. Just at the whole issue of insecurity and the fallout it has caused. But, that's where healing begins and I'm trusting the Lord for that. Thank you for writing this book. I know I won't be the same after reading it. Read on! 🙂
40's
Married
Texas
Oh Beth….God is indeed pursuing me in this thing. I haven't commented yet on one single question because I can't keep it to what will fit in this little space.
My heart is absolutely overflowing as my Lord & I are digging up the final root of insecurity in me. We began working & I had a great measure of victory about 11 years ago, but now we are finishing the job-thanks to His enormous patience. He, in His great & mighty mercy has held on to me until I was able to grasp that last ugly root that was still holding on. It's coming up as we speak and my life, my marriage and my ministry are feeling such relief and JOY!
I must stop…..there's more but I can't get it all out. Praise you Jesus!!!
I love you Beth….thanks for this book, the Daniel study, and for last Summer's study by Jennifer Rothschild. God has used them all together over the last year to do a miracle in me.
Question 1. No doubt, my first root of insecurity was growing up in a highly dysfunctional home headed up by an alcoholic Daddy and a mad as H-E-double toothpick, Bible-quoting Mother. Yikes! Talk about confusion… My second root of insecurity is the double pronged root of pride and fear, exaberrated by victimization thus the battle with weight and body image all my life. PTL, just this year am finally beginning to get measureable victory with God's mighty deliverance, and help from
Celebrate Recovery, and your powerful ministry washing over me for several years through anointed teaching.
Question 2. I am also exploring the way insecurity relates to my personality and co-dependancy strongholds. I am a very emotionally charged person and feel things very deeply. I didn't realize that was also feeding in to insecurity. I began to notice I was not engaging with people like I used to because of the "energy" it requires, and then began to realize some of what I thought was "Jesus" was actually my own insecurity and needing to be needed. "Low self esteem and pride co-exist in the same heart…" WOW! A light bulb moment. There is hope, even for an over 60 year old in Christ Jesus, I too am seeing a brand new me on the horizon, and in fact today my hubby and I are going to look at his dream RV with the vision he has of hooking up with ministry projects around No. America and the NAMB Relief projects! Before, I was set against leaving my secure "nest", and spending more money on metal… now, I'm ready to risk….(and trust and obey!)
Loving "So Long Insecurity", I can testify it's changing lives, mine in particular, and I'm just one of thousands!
Pam H.
Buena Park, CA
Married
60's
OK – I hope I don't frustrate you but this is not answering questions 1 and 2 but rather is a question. I am guessing if I have this question others might as well….
Insecurity with other women is my issue. I read your book in a week, cried many tears, now am going through it again with the blog, WILL be at the simulcast, and have memorized 3 verses you mentioned in the book already. I am overcoming and I plan to make Satan SORRY he messed with me in this area! SO, my question is… I really feel God has called me to minister to women. I lead a womens Bible study, was just asked to teach a womens Sunday school class, I have a heart for women. I know through the years I have tried to find my security in women and relationships with them. I feel quite secure with my man but when it comes to interacting with women I struggle wanting their approval and desiring to be included in a "group". My natural instinct is in order to overcome seeking security from women I must need to withdrawal from women and become secure in who I am in Christ but God is specifically asking me to be involved and He has been repeatedly showing me new ways to be involved with women. How do I do this and make sure I am not seeking security in these relationships? I keep begging God that I do not get one ounce of security from these things but I know my natural tendency. AND, the past 3 months I have suffered intense bondage that I never want to repeat and I want to make sure I never go back there again!!!! Just something I have been trying to figure out since reading your book. Maybe something others are wondering as well?? Maybe something for your simulcast???
1. pride and media (comparing to other women I know). I didn't feel like I had any of the bigger issues from chapter 5 and kept wondering where my insecurities were coming from…till I read chapter 6!! thanks for putting such truth into a book. i'm at a very interesting season of my life and i'm praying this book brings freedom as i transition back into my "normal" life very soon.(i'm pregnant, on bedrest, with my 4th, in Dallas, but I live in St. Louis, been here for 2 months already, crazy story:)
Miss Beth,
I appreciate what you said about God doing something BIG with us. In the God's providence, the Lord began dealing with me on this subject within the last few months. I told a friend that I always just assumed I was "hormonal" 30 out of 31 days in a month! I'm coming to realize how far I need to go to deal with my insecurity! In the middle of God's dealings with me…your book came along. So now, as I confront my issues, God deals with me, and the Devil is getting angry…I feel the struggle between what I know God wants me to do, but what comes so naturally to me. If the Devil is angry…I think I must be doing something right!
What a reminder of how much we all need to be praying for each other in this battle!
I haven't quite made my way through chapters 5 and 6 yet, so I'll repost later this week 🙂
Much Love!
Lindsay
Warsaw, In
Married
20s
Beth you blow me away!! Yesterday, yesterday, I was looking for a post that I could add a comment to, and was gonna ask about Star and Gelli cause you hadnt mentioned them in a loooong time. Now today WALALLLLA, God is so amazing even in the little bitty bit parts of our lives. love you
PS i too will do my book work and get back to you
Ginny
PA
Married
50's
OH MY GOSH I am laughing to myself cause I thought the same thing about the bullets ( shells) that is to funny. My husband would have a "fit" if I said shotgun bullets! Like she said I hope this doesn't make you feel "insecure".
Thank you for writing this book. I am still not past the first chapter but am keeping the questions each week so I can answer them.
Beth is there anyway you could do a bible study for this book???? or with this book in mind. I LOVE the blog and the answers BUT Many women I know will not be doing this and I would love to do a study on it????????????
Thanks so much for all you do for us BUT MOST of all for following God's lead !!!!!
Love you bunches !!!!
ginny
Kerry
Nederland, TX
50's
married 36 years
1.Hard to limit it to 2 – didn't realize I had so many reasons to be insecure. I'll pick instability in the home – a step father who mildly sexually abused me from age 4 to age 16, when I finally told Mama and she divorved him. I still cringe if my husband touches me certain ways that he did, or uses pet names that my step father used for my mom. The other choice is pride – I am not someone's special friend. How I long for a BFF. Pride also shows up in my total inability to take criticism. I am reduced to tears if criticized because I feel "I am perfect and have all the right answers" or something, and it is such a blow to find out I am wrong. This also answers question 2, because I never dreamed pride was a root for insecurity for me, and never considered myself proud. To quote you – "We believe we are better than others, but we keep discovering embarrassing flaws". Yep, that's me. I guess that's where God is trying to get my attention.
1) Rejection and our culture are my primary roots of insecurity. I find that I constantly compare myself with other women and make note of how I don't measure up to them.
2) God really used something that you wrote about change to confirm, or I should say reconfirm, where we are on our walk with Him. He has confirmed it in other ways, but your sentence about not changing churches when feeling like God has long ago prompted you to leave, hit the nail on the head. Except for the long ago part – we aren't planning on delaying what God has recently prompted us to do. My husband and I both know God is leading us elsewhere and we are taking the steps to head in that direction. "God uses change to change us. He uses it to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny. How will we ever change if everything around us stays the same? Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are?" I LOVE when I'm seeking Him and he rewards me by showing Himself!
This is my first post!
Jennifer
Alabama
30's
Married
Kristi
Rogersville, TN
30s
Married
I was totally amazed as I started reading the post this morning. It is so ironic that we have insecurities posting comments on insecurity. I hadn't mentioned it on the blog but I sure had been feeling it.
I have also been feeling that God is already moving in a big way and the best is yet to come. I am ready to just let go and see where God takes me with this. I have a feeling it will be so much more than I'm thinking which is huge.
1. The two biggest roots of my insecurities of these two chapters are instability at home and pride. My parents divorced when I was very young (less than a year old). I got to start visiting my dad at around age 10. This put me in two homes that were a total disaster: drugs, alcohol, domestic violence. This continued for around 7 years until my dad was killed in a car accident while drunk. This loss put me in such a backwards state of pride that I didn't even see it as pride until I done the Living Beyond Yourself: The Fruit of the Spirit bible study. My pride made me feel that everything was all about meand my loss and if had been worthy of much at all none of it would have happened from the divorce on.
2.God is showing me that even though my past is a LOT different than most of my Christian friends I am worthy. I don't have to keep being insecure over things in the past. I need to continue to move forward and let go. It doesn't matter how well I fit in with a certain crowd at a meeting or conference, it matters why I'm there and what I'm letting God teach me. He knows I have a lot to learn.
1) the 1st root of my insecurity, is a dad who was an alchoholic, and a mom tired of it. Wanting so desperatley to please a man who was rarely home. I tried so hard to be a boy, carpentry,fishing,hunting..anything to make him notice me.
2)being heavy and having the same man tell me so…he said things in a joking manor, he was a fun drunk, but to a young girl…ouch!
So I am just SO mad ~ I HATE all the stupid stuff I have done trying to get something from someone who had no idea I needed it…so now he's long gone, died of liver disease when I was 20, seriously I just want to shout out a long line of cuss words, not the nice ones like shoot and heck either….ok I am venting now, but I know my God saw it all and he is healing me now! My poor keyboard 🙂
Thanks for a safe place
Love, Marcy in Redmond OR
First, I havent done my homework yet.
But I have to tell you about the breakthrough I had last night. I was sitting at dinner in a mexican resturant with my husband and mother-in-law. We had just found out the day before that instead of 20 ladies there will be 500 at the womens conference in India this summer. As I said before, I dont speak in public, I have never done anything remotely like this and Im scared to death and totally insecure about it!
So my sweet husband, who doesnt know Im trying to deal with this because Im too insecure to admit that Im reading this book, decides I probably would like someone else to teach with or for me and invites a women I have never met to do so.
Under any other circumstance I would have welcomed this, but …
I turned to him and said " do you think God cant use me, change me or speak through me? I am not going to make the same mistake Moses did….." Poor guy had no idea were all this was coming from, he just said," baby I believe God can do anything and Im just gonna shut up now."
In my devotion this morning I came across Phil.3:12-14 Not that I have already attained or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
In my own paraphrase, Im gonna use every spiritual muscle to win the prize of a more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ who has laid hold of me.
p.s. I later apologized to my hubby for snapping back at him.
Ok Mama Siesta! I pictured you staring right into my eyes as I read your post,saying "stop it!" Stop worring about the spelling. I also heard God say those same words to me this morning as I worked on my homework in the Rev. study this week. "Stop it child" only on a different subject. Oh how I am drawn into both of these studies with you & God & my sweet Hatch siesta's. I am giving an insecurity book away each week as one lady can quote our theme verse from memory. Ok now I've gotten off track.
1) unwanted change & especially tenderhearted.
2) God spoke through you this am in your post as well as He has to me through the book. I heard Him say yes indeed that day will come when there wil be NO more death, mourning, tears or pain! Oh praise to the One who said "It is finished!"
Be careful and DON'T do what I did in attempting to shoot at a rattle snake in my yard. I loaded it with the wrong gauge shell & nearly blew myself and the gun apart. After the smoke cleared, that huge snake was curled up laughing at me and a huge chunk of my grass behind him was gone.LOL! I know why Keith gives you the one shell. Lesson learned…whether bullet,shell or the Word Himself, we better be equipted to rid our lives of that which attemps to harm us.
Have a wonderful, fun time. I love you! PS I don't know if I missed spelled any words or not and I don't give a rip!!! How's that for listening?
Beth et al,
I cannot believe the timing of these chapters. I feel like I have been slapped…not in the face, but in my heart. I am combining your two questions within my response….
Hands down, my first insecurity is rooted in rejection. I wasn't rejected by my family, it been from others. Mostly because of paths I have chosen, sins I have embraced. The rejection has been Biblical at times and sometimes not so biblical. The rejection has been excruitiating but it has been the turning of my focus to God and the fact that I can believe I am who He says I am despite my failures that I can de-root this insecurity. Rejection has painfully happen in the last few months with a ministry partner which again, painfully, has lead me to identify my second inseurity. I stopped reading chapter 6 last night at the section where you started talking about pride. I warned my husband about what I would be reading this morning. He groaned knowing it was going to be tough. Darn-it, do I have to be so prideful in this new rejection I am experiencing? No matter who is right or who is wrong, can I not approach it without pride? Pride has built up a wall of defense for me that is only causing me more harm, not healing. It is so very ugly and humbly I got on my face this morning asking God to stripped it from my life. Then maybe I can appraoch this rejection I now face with only one healthy "but.." and that is "but God".
WOW. Do I have to read on? Lord have mercy!
Pamela
46, married
Missouri
On a side note Beth, my husband and I love to go and stay at "old places" or cabins on our anniversary. We stayed in an old german farm house one year, in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing but farmland and farm animals. It was so incredibly simple and peaceful. Your farm house sounds perfect. I know there are probably privacy issue but I would love to see what you did with the inside of that old house (hint, hint-post some pictures?). I also thought of you with your writing on "change" within these chapters regarding your post of the delimia you had a few months back when your husband moved that peice of furniture in your living room…change is good isn't it? Made me smile while reading these two painful chapters!
My two primary roots of struggle are Instability In the Home & Rejection. I loved that God will always love me and take care of me like the perfect father does his child. I love that I will never wear God out. I have a tendency to wear people out. lol God has definitely been speaking to me. As you said Beth, God knows exactly what happened to me and what a toll it took. God is healing and I'm so thankful. I'm speaking more of this on my blog.
Linda
Divorce (and forgiven)
50's
Tulsa
1. feeling ugly and stupid compared to siblings and friends
2. Loss of control that will make me vulnerable to the attacks of others
Sherry
Fab 40's
Indpls
Okay, confession time here Beth. I haven't commented on anything yet because I was too concerned with what others would "think" or "say." I was going to just keep that under wraps so to speak but after your blog this morning, I'm convicted enough to have to confess it. So, I'll work on not being intimidated!
Thanks for loving us.
Ginger
Wetumpka, AL
50s/married
Dearest Beth,
Thank you. Your words were so freeing this morning. I was even crying when my 8 year old came in to tell me about his Wii game discovery. We homeschool…it's 10:17 on Thursday and I'm still in my PJ's (we have a cold) I'm smiling that I did not erase that!! I really like the idea about not giving Satan an inch in our battle to overcome insecurity.
I love you!! Thank you for allowing God to use your life to minister to all of us.
Hugs,
Michelle
30's
Married
San Antnio, TX
Do you know that my original blog name was WorthyofLove…I felt so insecure as I picked that name, I wondered if people would think me prideful or who knows what else!? That was over a year ago. I eventually erased the whole profile as it ate at me so much…the worry. I mostly posted anonymous and only recently found the courage to pick a new name…sorry for the confusion girls, but I'm gonna gain ground in this battle…next time I post…It will be from WorthyofLove…know it is not without tears…whew!
I will post my answers later this week but had to jump in and say two things:
To Koren – I am so grateful for your honesty and words. Your first paragraph is me to a tee, and I found myself excitedly saying "You and me, girl!! You and me!!" because I could so relate. Thank you <3 <3 <3
To Becky Cain – Your post had me snorting from laughter! Yes, I'm secure enough to admit that I laughed so hard that weird noises came out of my nose. Praise God, I needed an awesome laugh this morning!!
I love you all <3 <3 <3
1. Rejection. Although I don't think it was deliberate, I percevied it as such. My parents were older when I was born; I'm the 3rd child. They were just plain old tired, weary, and worn out by the time I came along so they didn't participate (and still don't) in my life much. You asked for TWO, but that's the biggie for me. All the others are way down the list.
2. The whole media discussion makes me want to get MORE involved with it, not less. Feeling the need to put more "truth" back into in and not have it be such a casualty!
Nancy/40s/married/SC
1. My two main roots of insecurity are growing (stemming) from a strong, judgmental mother whose praise was contingent upon over-achievement, and a self-image based on society’s views of beautiful, successful, respectable.
2. What God has revealed to me regarding insecurity from these two chapters: Chapter 5, page 80: God uses change to change us. Chapter 6, page 106 the quote: “If I search around long enough, I’ll find insecurity benath my grandiosity and arrogant expectations beneath my self-contempt.”