Hey, Girls!
I am sitting in the passenger seat of my man’s blue Ford truck with a bird dog’s head on my shoulder heading west to cactus country for a few days. Do you remember that place I told you about where I have to hike with a shotgun because of all the rattlesnakes? Yep, that’s where we’re headed. I don’t think I told you that Keith only lets me have one shotgun shell (thanks, Adrienne!) per walk so I only get to run into one snake at a time. For those of you who have been around for a while and are wondering, yes, we have Star, our Border Collie with us, too. She’s too busy looking out the window trying to herd the traffic to snuggle with me though. It would be tough to type with both on them on top of me anyway.
I’ve been thinking about you every single day. I have no idea how many of your comments I’ve read. Tons. Because we get the whole week to finish the assignments, I can read a certain amount almost every single day. I’m getting to keep up even better than I’d hoped. I really thought this would be a neat experience but you have surpassed my expectation in your answers and insights. The transparency is so incredibly refreshing. So many wonderful things have hit me in the last two weeks as we’ve gone through the first four chapters together. There’s one eye-opening and troubling thing I want to talk to you about before we proceed to our assignments. I’ve been touched by how many of you (thankfully) confessed that you even feel insecure about your comments and about whether or not the other women participating will think you’ve said something lame. Others mentioned being scared they’d misspell a word. As we seek freedom from God, let’s not let the enemy mess with us that way. Let’s not give over one inch of extra ground to the very issue we’re trying to escape.
What do you say we make this discussion stream a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE? What do you say we make a conscious choice not to compete with one another? Not to judge one another? Not to try to measure up to one another or feel less or more than the other? We have to put up with all that trash almost everywhere else a group of women meets up. We can make up our minds not to have to put up with that here. We are smart women. We can determine to share our struggles, challenges, and victories over insecurity without feeling insecure about them. Talk about double indemnity! In Jesus’ Name, let’s make up our minds to treat one another with respect but not give a rip about trying to keep up or compete. Even while we’re on our journey to freedom, let’s make this community a microcosm of what we hope, when it’s behind us, to find and to become. I can’t think of a better place for us to practice making up our minds not to let circumstances or people draw out our insecurities.
I esteem you highly and find you so entirely interesting. What I’ve learned from you already can’t be overstated. I have become increasingly certain over the last two weeks that God is up to something BIG among us. Bigger than I first thought. In fact, I can tell you this. There’s no way we came up with this. God is pursuing us. He’s setting us up to get sick and tired of our insecurity and to do anything we must in order to find wholeness in Him. Let’s not stop Him in any way.
Oops, I got distracted for a minute. We just stopped at a Valero’s near Llano, Texas, for a bathroom break and Star started barking her head off at a man minding his own business and walking into the store. “What on earth is the matter with you?” I asked. (To Star, of course. Not the man.) Then I saw what he was wearing. Short shorts with winter white legs and black socks. I think Star is terrified by black socks against bright legs. Somebody tell me why that dude didn’t feel insecure. Not really. Don’t get off on that. But admit it. It’s a mystery.
OK, so let’s get to this week’s assignments. We’ve reached a very important point in our journey. We’re about to dig up eight deep roots of insecurity. No, we’re not looking for excuses but a little understanding can go a mighty long way. Haven’t you ever wondered why it dogs you so? You may be about to find out. This week I’d like for you to give special attention to Chapters FIVE and SIX. Here are the two questions I want you to answer here on the blog:
1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.
2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)
These may sound like simple questions but I promise you we will have some interesting reading this week. Go to it, Girlfriends! I can’t wait to hear from you. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to make your comment. By the way, a number of you have asked if women can jump in late with us. Absolutely! Any time. Everybody’s welcome.
Here’s a special challenge this week: Let’s still hear from all of you who’ve been commenting over the last two weeks but let’s ALSO hear from at least one hundred of you who have never posted before. Remember, this is a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE. Get in there and learn how to make a comment and if you find it posted later and see that you misspelled a word, who cares? This journey will mean ten times more to you if you get all the way into it. Come on in and participate. This is a really cool group of women.
Come, Lord Jesus, and minister to us. Open our eyes. Open our hearts. Grant us signs of great freedom and healing even this week as we discover where our insecurities may be coming from. We know, Lord, that no flesh and blood can bring us what we need. If we come out of this with liberty, all glory will go to You alone. I love You, Father. Do Your Thing.
Lisa 
1. My primary roots of insecurity are rejection and pride. When I was a child there wasn’t really anyone for me to play with. I have always had a huge desire to be loved and accepted (to the point that I’ve put myself in unhealthy and dangerous situations just to feel it) but I’ve always feared rejection. Even today I often just do the things that my friends want to do because I am afraid that they won’t like what I want to do. The thought of inviting someone to do something with me or asking for help is emotionally paralyzing because I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.
The major way I’ve tried to win acceptance is by trying to be perfect or better than others. When I was a child I constantly sought better grades than my brother so that I could get attention from our parents. Today I am frequently overwhelmed with fear or anxiety if I don’t think I can be the best at something. The words about constantly being on a roller coaster between feeling inadequate and feeling proud to be so good are so true in my life.
2. My life has been marked with some big losses such as innocence, having an ally, career, and physical health. The unwanted changes and constant instability caused me to expect, or even create, crisis because I don’t know how to deal with life without one. The words, “God uses change to change us. He doesn’t use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny” (pg. 80) brought me much needed comfort. As I looked back over my life I realized that every crisis made me a stronger, better-rounded person and that I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could. I realized that God got me through everything in my past so he would also get me through anything I faced in the future.
Lisa/Des Moines, IA/30s/single
Lindy
Scott, LA
30's
single
1. My primary roots of insecurity are loss and dramatic change. My mom died unexpectedly 9 days before I turned 15.
2. What I learned is that my insecurity is a big ball of mess that is all tied together and perpetuated itself. My insecurity began from loss and dramatic change but as a way to cope, I became a perfectionist, always trying to please my dad and sister to smooth the road and keep peace. This led to rejection issues and pride. I never set out to be any of those things but they grew out of me (as a teenager) trying to cope with something so much larger than I was equipped to deal with. Thank the Lord, my mom raised us in church so I knew God at the time but my mom was also the spiritual head of this household so the person who would have been leading me to Jesus for healing was the person who I had lost. I was fertile ground for some fresh lies from the pit! The Lord recently revealed to me that at that time, I felt like He had betrayed me which led me to not trust Him. As an adult I know better but somewhere inside is a young woman who feels betrayed and that Her Savior abandoned her as well, loss once again! On the surface it seems to be a never-ending spiral down but let me tell you this. My Jesus loves me! Glory to God, He has delivered me from so much hurt, anger, bitterness, etc from my mom's death. The fact that I love Him is a testament to His love for me! I stand today on a hill of Victory so large that it overwhelms me. He has delivered me from hurts I didn't even know I had. We've been through the valley together so I can say with absolute certainty, He WILL deliver me from this too. My Jesus loves me too much to let me live in my lies and Praise God that He does! My dear Siesta's, THERE IS VICTORY IN JESUS! I am living proof of that!
I attended the simulcast this past Tuesday and I was truly blessed at the word that came forth from Heb 13:21. I will hold on to that word. Insecurity: this is a topic for everyone. I haven't purchased the book but I plan to soon. I feel my insecurity comes from a broken abusive home, not feeling like I belonged or fit in anywhere and somethings I engaged in in life that were just shameful. I find myself hiding now as I did as a child and I wonder how could the Lord love and use someone like me. I am thinking about inviting all the ladies from my church to this event.
30s
Single
San Jose, CA
1. Rejection and Personal Disposition.
In high school, I felt rejected by boys because the majority of my friends went from one boyfriend to the other while no one ever asked me out. I have a disposition toward pessimism.
Hello from Canada
This is my first time blogging, but I have read your blog for many months. My sweet husband finally got me a copy of your book today.
Diana
age 44
Surrey,BC
My two roots are truely entwined as Instability in the home and Rejection. My parents often had a very disfunctional relationship between the two of them that it overflowed to the whole family. My mother was very ill by whole childhood my various illnesses that we serious and ultimately lead to her death. My father was very verbally and physically abusive towards me, never forgiving the fact that I was not the son he longed to have. He already had the perfect daughter and the second pregnancy was to give him his son.
My Lord has graciously given me the opportunity to be healed with this book from the beloved Beth, and I am keen to find freedom that He has promised. Thank you Beth for being the tool He will use to bring healing to the brokenhearted.
I pondered why I have such issues with insecurity with other women and I realized I had been abandoned, rejected and/or abused by most of the key women in my life. A step mother once told me (when I was at the awkward age of 13)I was so ugly it was as if THE ugly fairy broke in the house and beat me with her ugly stick and so..I'd better be smart…because NO one would want me based on my appearance. I know she was a hurting, hurting, person. I've forgiven her, but I still have some work to do – obviously. I was in such denial about it until the other day when I caught myself thinking about Martha Stewart going to jail. You know what I thought about most? DO THEY HAVE HAIR DYE in prison?? Seriously. I thought if I were for some odd reason be imprisoned like Martha, how could I get hair color so my roots wouldn't show? I mean, really, it would be just terrible to be on national tv and have all my former female classmates, co workers, family, etc. see my long gray roots (OH! and no makeup!!). I didn't think for a minuet about all the real reasons to be scared to go to prison. Nope, I just wondered how good my real friends would be at smuggling in some Miss Clairol.
I, too, need my heart to believe what my head knows – that what He says is truth:
All beautiful you are, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
Texas
Married
48
Forgot to leave some stats on my earlier post.
Lilly
50
married
Fairbanks, Alaska
Oh, goodness, where do I begin?
Since I started this discussion, a wave
of attack has come over me, including
from women churchgoers. So many have
been offended of my speaking of emotions. HOWEVER, I shall proceed in Jesus Christ, because
I know He is good and wants us to heal!
1) A Significant Loss;
I don't know my real father. My mother had
an affair, and the man that raised me sexually abused me. I thought that was my real dad.
He, the abuser, died of a heart attack, when I was six years old. When I turned 26, my mother told me, that wasn't my real father. My real father is an Italian artist.
2) As a result, I have grown up a major people-pleaser. I've wanted to please everyone, including God, by being a good person. I believe shame has a way of doing that.
So….what has God Revealed?
2) God has revealed to me that the only true identity is in Him, and how he created us.
Getting back to Him, is the only way to be
the real creature he created; not perfect, but
blameless.
In the book, "The Mirror Effect; How Celebrity Narcissism is Seducing America," Dr. Drew Pinsky makes an important distinction.
Most people assume that the Narcissus myth is a cautionary tale about the dangers of falling in love with oneself. In common parlance, narcissism is often used as a synonym for egomania or excessive self regard. In psychological terms, however, egotism and narcissism can be very different things. Egotists are preoccupied with themselves to an extreme degree. Their self-importance is unshakeable, so much so that it generally allows them to disregard reality.
Narcissism, on the other hand, springs from the opposite relationship with the self: not self-involvement, but a disconnection with oneself.
The key to understanding the Narcissus myth is not that he fell in love with himself, but that he failed to recognize himself in his own reflection. In other words, true narcissists are not self-aware. A real narcissist is dissociated from his or her true self; he feels haunted by chronic feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and self-loathing and seeks to replace that disconnection with a sense of worth and importance fueled by others. Dr. Drew says that narcissism is not ego; it's not self love. It is self-loathing; envy; insecurity; and self-destruction.
I think this distinction is important.
God revealed to me that freedom comes when we begin to see the lie, and eventually can forgive.
Love,
Michele
Racine, WI
40's
Single
This sounds awful and it's hard to write this b/c it sounds so vain. Here I go.
I had my first child at a young age. I didn't struggle with weight and I was fairly attractive. Do you know I was snubbed by all the women in my Sunday school class? Meals were brought to new mothers but none for me. I was told by a lady that they all hated me b/c I was beautiful. I never said a word about it but it hurt. I have run into so many women trying to compete w/ other women. The harsh critcism it brings out makes me want to run for cover. It completely crushes me and makes me feel insecure b/c I feel when women are trying to compete against you that it is a fuel for hate. It seems the slightest bit of beauty or success can put you on the chopping block. The stronghold is I get insecure around people who are insecure in that way.
Another root would be I grew up w/out family. I'm aother. My children know I believe in them. Having that void of constant support has left it's mark. Failures can mess w/ ones identity if we allow it to. God had to teach me to be careful to put too much weight on my success or failures. If we take too much credit for our failures, we'll do the same w/ our success and God won't share His glory. Apart from Him we can do nothing. We need to agree w/ that in failure and success.
I think this book is helping me heal from rejection. I didn't understand that a lot of women were operating from intense insecurity. I one of those crazy gals that don't think about that kind of stuff. I've had other struggles though so don't think I'm ahead of everyone. Sometimes I wonder why I don't struggle more with insecurity than I do but I realize God is just gracious and knew I would have my hands busy with other things. But I've tastedbit enough to read your book and I understand it all better thanks to you.
I would have to say that the first one beyond a doubt is rejection. Second is P-R-I-D-E!!! Rejection, because my mom tried to abort me. There were other things, but this is the one I am struggling with the most right now, actually, the other things I have been able to overcome with the help of the Holy Spirit. With pride I struggle with the ones that are related to low self-esteem, and perfectionism.
I was not aware that pride and perfectionism were considered as insecurity. Wow! Was this an eye-opener.
Beth, I am also doing your Jesus The one And Only study, and I do not find it a coincidence that one of last weeks studies dealt with rejection. My problem is the technicalities of how to release all of this and let it go without taking it back. I am so tired of not being whole and not even knowing what whole would look like on me. I am also so tired of being angry and hurting. Jesus, please help me. I have been alienating just about everyone in my life. Please Lord help!!!
Mischelle
46 divorced
Greater Nashville, TN (area)
First Beth, I am concernced your husband only gives you one shell. What if you encounter 2 snakes one going and one coming home. Hope you practice using the butt of the shotgun too.
My first insecurity I don't know if you would put under rejection or pride. I had many friends growing up but not what they call a BFF now. Not one I felt close enough to to discuss real personal issues with. I am still today a very very private person. I do not like (or chose not to) discuss personal issues or problems that I have with anyone.
the second insecurity would be personal limitation which would be body image/weight which I struggled with all my life up until about 3 years ago.
I've learned that while I didn't have a human BFF all these years I did have my Godly best friend that I talked to all those lonely times I needed to talk. It drew me much closer to Him over the years than I might otherwise not have not become if I had had an earthly friend to confide in. He knew what was best and had the right plan knowing I would turn to Him, letting me know that He would always be there with a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. That has given me such a stronger relationship with Him today than I might otherwise have had.
God is so awesome in all His wisdom and GLORY!
I am one of the first time bloggers this week as got my book late as I ordered it.
Love in Christ
Julie
Ky
54
Married
Friday, February 26, 2010
Follow Me Friday. . .
So, I decided to link up with Follow Me Friday over at. . .
Posted by creative gal at 6:38 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Bloggin' Buddies. . .
Thursday, February 25, 2010
So Long Insecurity, Week 3
1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.
PRIDE. I say this because of the quote on page 101. . .We don't feel special, and that hurts our pride. Beth states, "sometimes people and situations make us feel insecure because they nick our pride, plain and simple." WOW! I am a very sensitive person, and can see how this is really true- my pride is hurt, I feel undervalued. . . Yet, we all need to know that our value is in Christ alone. Our value is in him. His willingness to die for us on a cross, a death that we should have been sentenced to. . .There is no greater sacrifice someone can make for you. . .or will ever make for you. Aren't we really valuable- more special than any silver or gold. .. more special than the praise on the back we feel we miss out on, or the reward we "should have" won.
OUR CULTURE. Let's face it girls, it is tough to live up to the edited images we have constantly thrown in our face of what we "need to look like."
2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)
I think that I need to refocus on my true identity- some how in the midst of all this, I like to lose it at times. I think that the primary root of this insecurity comes from two broken relationships- one of which I was physical injured (with two broken feet at the same time) and the guy just walked out. . . the worst part I've had to grow from would be his broken promise of several months later to come and meet with me about this issue. . . he promised this standing in church one Sunday almost a year ago, and failed to keep his word. Lies are a hard thing for any of us. . . lies to our face, well, that is even more dramatic. . . I can't help but think about Peter here. How hurt he must have been after he denied his father.
Rejection is my number 1! For as long as I remember, I've been ridiculed by family, friends, schoolmates, publicly humiliated by a coach when I was in 4th grade on more than one occassion, and publicly humiliated by teachers when I was a senior in highschool and only 3 months from graduation.
Personal disposition is #2, although i don't know how to put it in words.
Now, i'm feeling even more insecure, because I can't describe what's on my heart.
I'm also feeling even more insecure because i don't feel/see God working in my life like so many others who have posted to this blog.
Karen
40's
married
springfield
Rejection is my number 1! For as long as I remember, I've been ridiculed by family, friends, schoolmates, publicly humiliated by a coach when I was in 4th grade on more than one occassion, and publicly humiliated by teachers when I was a senior in highschool and only 3 months from graduation.
Personal disposition is #2, although i don't know how to put it in words.
Now, i'm feeling even more insecure, because I can't describe what's on my heart.
I'm also feeling even more insecure because i don't feel/see God working in my life like so many others who have posted to this blog.
Karen
40's
married
springfield
I am a first time poster. Love this book (Wendy, my daughter in law gave it to me for my birthday last week), love your passion to see God set women free. Totally shocked as others are that you have one insecure bone in your body. You are so beautiful, so anointed to teach and preach the Gospel, so caring and compassionate. I am thankful that because you are a little like the rest of us, God is using you to present this message of freedom.
God showed me years ago that I had my husband on a pedestal that was impossible for him to sustain. First insecurity.
The second one is steeped in my need for control, to fix everything around me, even if it isn't asking to be fixed. That, somehow if I don't do something, and do it quickly, then the world might come to an end. Brother! Who do I really think I am?!?
It seems like a contradiction that this would cause me to be insecure. I guess the pressure I put on myself to help and be everyone's everything convinces me that I don't measure up – no matter how I try there are still problems and situations and how long will I be able to come up with the answers? And, many times no matter how many pearls of wisdom I share or how much I try to fix it, the situation remains unfixed.
I know that God is going to show all of us through this study and accompanying blog that the answer to Paul's question, "Who can deliver me from this body of death?" is still, "Oh, thank God, He will, through Jesus Christ our Lord!!!
Thank you, Beth. God bless you and your family and staff.
Roots of insecurity are rejection that I perceived from a perfectionist father and later from friends growing up. My disposition is the other big one. I overthink and over analyze everything and everyone. I struggle maintaining a balance of being the person I want to be and showing empathy and sympathy, being open and honest and trusting while not trying to please everyone or being afraid of letting someone down or disagreeing with someone. I learned to be diplomatic most of my life and it was reinforced in nursing school as I learned to deal with people while maintaining a professional relationship. I have mastered the art of not prying and keeping a distance, but I see now that it has created a thought life that wastes a lot of time and energy. I have a lot of imaginary conversations with myself after leaving a situation because there are so many things I would have liked to have said or asked, but didn't. So much wasted time and such a habbit that it is hard to break. God and I are working on using that time more productively in prayer and study of His word.
I love "Village Sister"'s post and how she used the phrase "My Lord and I"! I want to be that secure in His love for me. Just like Village Sister, God is doing so much with me through this book that I can't fit all of it here. The chapter that I found myself really relating to was the one with the pride and media. I am 34 and have been married almost 10 years with 3 kids and over the last couple of years I have found myself pulled in to the youth-obsessed and beauty-obsessed culture. I am so blessed to have a husband who does everything in his power to make me feel beautiful and loved. I am totally secure in our relationship, but my own insecurity has me looking at younger people and their new relationships with envy. I have been wanting something that has already passed for me. I find myself jealous (and wondering how they do it or if it is real) when I read blogs or books where women go on and on about how they love their husbands more now than they did when they first met or if another friend says that a couple we both know are "so into each other".
The part of the book that spoke to me most about that issue is this: "God has entrusted each of us-male and female-with a brief measure of time on this planet, and each season is meant to be lived abundantly, effectively, powerfully and pricelessly."
Then the part when Beth said that she was hit with her first memorable wave of jealousy toward younger women in her 40s and she was able to experience an immediate cure. Although, I have suddenly felt that same wave of jealousy in my early 30s and it is toward much younger women regarding their new relationships and how free they are (meaning child free) what she wrote about "not one woman out there would be young a second longer than I was" really helped me in the healing process that I have been praying to God about for a while now. I believe it started from a study where I read that a woman prayed that she would crave the touch of her husband the way she had when they first met. I never thought about praying that way and I started to do just that. This book has been so helpful in that area and so many others. I am so thankful that my Lord and I are on this journey together. I'm starting to get it, Lord! So thankful for Your patience and faithfulness!
Forgot my information in the last post:
Nicci
Waterloo, Belgium
34
Married, 3 kids
I think the root of my insecurity would be my identity as a woman. Growing up the youngest of four children with three older brothers, I didn't have the opportunity to be a little girl in that context. It was a boys world with scrapping independence and competition. There are some pieces about that upbringing that I am deeply grateful for, in terms of my ability to see the world and relate to men – and the confidence it engendered. However, the root planted that haunts me to this day is being "woman" enough. I did not get lessons on beauty or make-up, or a variety of things that come so naturally to other women. So I often feel at a complete loss about those things and out of my element. I have band-aided along… as in I do wear make up and don't look that terrible most of the time (ha ha) but it is something that I am conscious of much of the time – and am also conscious that many of my friends are not. The things that I have to concentrate on, they stopped concentrating on when they were 13 – and we're pushing 40 now!
Ultimately what this results in is a fear of rejection – and that nagging constant companion and feeling that "you are just not quite right". Externally, I appear confident, funny, successful, but inside – lots of prayer and battles over the feeling that I'm fighting to put on femininity everyday in some way rather than just being female in that relaxed and graceful way that it appears just about every other woman I know operates in.
Shawna
30's
Bellingham, WA
My first encounter with insecurity about my weight came in the fourth grade. That is where it started. I can still feel the rush of color that came to my face. Our whole class went to the clinic at school where they were to weigh us and get our height for school records. The nurse weighed us and then proceeded to call out loud the numbers for the teacher to write on the chart. I was one of the last ones as my name came toward the end of the alphabet. The number 85 rang out as my weight. It was the highest in the class. There were snickers and that was the first time I realized I was "fat". From then on, the people in my class called me "Fatty Laney". My insecurity about weight began at that moment, and today at 67 years old, I still grapple with the feeling of not measuring up physically. How sad is that? I am daily learning that Jesus loves me and I am taking it in as food for my soul. Thank you and love to you.
MARILYN
61
MARRIED
GOOD MORNING………JUST HAD TO GET ON AGAIN TO SHARE MY HEART. I SO APPRECIATE THIS BOOK AND I FEEL THE LORD REMOVING THE LAST VESTIGES OF THAT INSECURITY FROM MY HEART. IN MY SELF PITYING MOMENTS, I NEVER SAW THE OBSESSION WITH SELF, FROM THE ROOT OF PRIDE, THAT WAS THE TRUE BASIS FOR MY INSECURITY. INSTEAD OF TRUSTING GOD TO MEET ALL MY NEEDS AS HE HAS PROMISED……..I LOOKED TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, CO WORKERS, ETC. TO FILL THOSE EMPTY PLACES THAT ONLY HE CAN FILL. BETH, YOU ARE EVERY WOMAN. I STARTED YOUR BIBLE STUDIES WHEN 'A WOMAN'S HEART' CAME OUT. I HAVE BENEFITED FROM EVERY SUBSEQUENT STUDY. THEY HAVE ALL GONE BEYOND A STUDY OF THE WORD…..AND HAVE BEEN A STUDY OF THE HEART. SOMEHOW, IN ALL YOUR STUDIES I'VE PARTICIPATED IN, THE OUTCOME OF EVERYTHING I LEARNED WAS NOT AN ADORATION OF YOU (THOUGH I DO LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE ONE OF MY VERY BEST FRIENDS)…..BUT A GROWING ADORATION FOR GOD. YOU HAVE CONSISTENTLY POINTED TO THE TRIUNE GOD. I THANK GOD FOR THE GIFTS HE HAS BESTOWED UPON YOU AND, SOMEHOW, YOU MADE IT CLEAR……….HE MADE IT CLEAR,……..THAT HE'S WAITING TO BESTOW EQUALLY PRECIOUS GIFTS ON US ALL AS WE SUBMIT OUR TIME, AND ALL OUR RESOURCES: BODIES, HEARTS AND MINDS, TO HIM. TRULY, THERE IS VICTORY IN JESUS, OUR SAVIOR FOREVER.
My insecurity stems directly from growing up in a family linked by generation after generation of severe mental illness and depression. Before I began using God's Word as my strength, I lived many years (23 to be exact) believing that I was biologically predestined to live a life of totally dysfunction and despair. In my mind, I was always one mistake away from a fear that gripped so tightly that the next mistake would be the one of no return for me…complete loss of self-control. Fear, self-doubt, and uncertainty lurked around every ugly corner waiting to jump out and attack at any moment.
So to cope, I was a perfectionist. If I couldn't control when the loss of control would happen, then at least I would "attempt" to be perfect until that time came.
Mrs. Beth, your Bible studies have helped me break free of so much bondage. God's Word has been the cornerstone that helps me break the cycle of mental illness in my family by parenting my daughter differently. I am eternally grateful for the ministry that God has called for you.
Lots of love,
MPS from Mississippi
(yes…even too insecure to leave my name because if someone I know reads this…it could hurt those in my family!)
The primary roots for me are Significant Loss and Rejection. I have always felt rejected as I was not a "perfect" baby like my 4 older brothers – they were good little boys and slept well I obviously had colic and cried a lot. I found out just a couple of years ago that my father would yell at me to shut up when I was a baby. Feeling rejected has followed me my whole life.
When I was 9 years old my first niece Corrina died at the age of 23 months of health complications. Since she was the first girl to be born into the family after me I determined that she was going to be the sister I didn't have and so losing her to death made a HUGE impact on my life.
I never thought of signigicant loss as a root of insecurity but in looking more closely at it I can see now how it had that impact as losing my niece at such a young age totally rocked my world.
Through looking at all of the roots of insecurity I can see where God is beginning to heal some areas and I don't have to blame myself for everything that has happened to me.
Carol
Newton, KS
50's and married
Sweet Beth,
I'm not ready to comment just yet on this week's assignment.
HOWEVER, I wanted to tell you that I think you are beautiful inside and out. Thank you for including us on your journey with Our Lord!
During this season of Lent it reminds me of the women who followed Christ and ministered to His needs – and their you are – leading all of us women disciples and encouraging us as we follow hard after Him.
Thank you again for your love that is so transparent we can see His loving face and outstretched hand towards us all.
PAX CHRISTI
I didn't respond to last weeks questions because of the very things that you discussed in this post.
1. Root is pride. I am a perfectionist. I hate to make mistakes. I have huge expectations of myself and others.
2.Oh yes, God is allowing me to roll the movie reel of my life and showing me things about myself that I just haven't taken the time to look at. I've been in situations recently where my insecure self starts talking then I will remember things that I have read in your book and God's word and I say to myself.."STOP IT RIGHT NOW." I feel so much better!!!
Thank you for this and Praise the Lord!
Mary
30s
Married
My two primary roots of insecurity are ones that surprised me. They are: 1) Insecurity over never finishing college and 2) Insecurity over being a stay at home mom.
God has blessed our family and allowed me to be able to stay home with our girls. It has taken a great deal of financial sacrifice, but my husband and I believe this is what God has called our family to. However, I do have a lot of insecurity with other women when they talk about their college days or what line of work they are in. The funny thing is, I know I have a lot of God given wisdom, especially with the home I grew up in, however I really let this get to me.
The insight I gained from God in this is that I walk very close to the line of pride (chapter 6) Yup, that one took me by surprise as well! He showed me that if I do not make the decision to believe Him in His word that I am who HE SAYS I AM, I will overcompensate to try and be the best at something else in order to make up for what I believe I'm lacking. Ouch, that's called pride.
As I was thinking this through this morning Hebrews 4:12 came to mind. We love to remember that God's word is living and active. Then God brought the remainder of verse 12 and 13 to my heart. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate, but those following verses somehow always brought me a few shivers. But God showed me this morning that He shows us the attitudes of our hearts so He can heal us. Now I feel loved and not picked on!
OK I'm jumping in late. You are reading the book to me on CD and I LOVE IT!
Thank you Lord for opening our eyes to this truth. We are SECURE in you alone.
My greatest insecurity is rejection and second that my lack of intelligence will be known.
The roots run really deep. I am the middle of 3 girls with the older and younger being exactly 3 years apart (boy do I feel for my mom) she told me all of the time (as I was growing up) that I came at a really bad time and that she tried every way that she could to miscarry me. She never had one baby picture of me, but my younger sister who came 15 months after me has tons of them and she talked with such pride about her. It has taken me so many years to forgive her for letting me know this and for her constant rejection when my sister are around (this still happens today and I am 51 years old.
I am probably most grateful to God for giving this issue to me because I found myself drawn to Him as my comfort and the one who wanted me. I have some mental and learning problems and yet God still allows me to teach children at our church. I love to share His Word with them and try not to let Satan scare me in my lack of intelligence.
God is speaking to me about not letting go and just not caring, but looking carefully at my attitude and seeing if it is in line with Him.
Thank you so much for letting us off the hook for spelling and grammar. I sent that as my insecurity when you asked so long ago on the first blogs about this issue.
This study is truly going to change me.
God bless you for being so faithful to share what He lays on your heart.
We are blessed to live in this time and to study under Women of God.
Love to all and may God bless this time of learning.
LOVING this book. We tried to sign up for LIVING PROOF LIVE in Florida in April and it's sold out. What about getting a bigger venue?! Now that this book is out, more attendees are sure to come. Let's make this happen Siestas. Anyone got any ideas?
I posted my answers yesterday but just wanted to say that as I read the comments, I am at times overwhelmed by the depth of suffering I see here. Who knew there was so much pain covered up around us. I often stop reading and just pray for the sister who posted.
Because the posts can be so overwhelming, I decided to post a lighter comment for Beth while she is at the ranch. Beth, I added you to my AOL toolbar and was prompted to choose an icon (gave you a gold star) and a name (beth moore). I clicked "save" and I now have a gold star on my toolbar that says "beth moo". Apparently my choice was too long. Could you possibly consider getting a few cows for the ranch?
Enjoy your weekend, let God refresh you with the cold weather!
Leanne
20's
Mississippi
Married
I have been keeping up with this book. This is my first time to answer the questions though.
1) The two primiary roots of my struggle with insecurity is instability in the house/dramatic change and body image/weight.
My parents divorced when I was 8. This caused instability in our home and a dramatic change for my life.
I have always struggled with weight issues.
2) I know God is teaching me to rely and trust in Him – through the good and the bad. I have known that the roots of my insecurity started with my parents divorce. Now it is time to deal with it.
To Country Fried (posted on 2/25 @ 7:34 pm)
I was so touched by your comment! Your honesty is humbling.
Something to think about: I don't think it's an 'accident' you're taking part in this blog community. ABSOLUTELY, God knows you. And yes, HE DOES LOVE YOU. And if you're looking, (and since He knows you thoroughly, He knows you are) then He will draw you closer to Him. Please read what Jesus said in John 6: 35-44.
That's Truth Satan doesn't ever want you to know!
We've all believed the lies the enemy tells us, in one way or another. You are SO welcome here. Keep coming back!
1) The two primary roots of my insecurity are lack of healthy women in my family growing up (my mom was insecure) and never figuring out where I fit in this world. Beth's inscription in Amanda's copy of the book hits home. My mother's insecurity certainly had profound impact on my life and now I have to ask what impact is my insecurity having on my children. God please set me free…and secure the generations of my family!
2) Through this study already I've realized the degree insecurity has contributed to my search for validation through unhealthy relationships. For several years I have prayed for a strong spiritual friendship. God has revealed that I need to be set free of my insecurity before I'm ready to receive an answer to that prayer. Father, make me whole and prepare me to receive the blessing that you have already put my name on. I can't wait!
Karen
Tallahassee, FL
49
Married
Is this not amazing or what?? I love the body of Christ! I have not touched the book, haven't read a thing that our dear sister Beth has written in SLI but just in reading your tender comments shared, each of you have ministered to me in ways you'll never understand! In your shared weaknesses, struggles, you have exposed my own and I can feel the Spirit of God begin to work in my heart, exposing areas of pride and rejection. I truly believe that this is how the body of Christ is to operate. This is precisely why we must unite ourselves with a body of believers, be willing to be open and exposed and allow God to use us in the process. I think it must have something to do with "confessing your faults to one another and praying for one another" (James 5:16) and "bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal 6:2) Isn't it ironic how God can take our frailties and use them so profoundly in other's lives? He is truly "strength in our weakness", amen? But wow. I just had to share in hopes of encouraging others who may have been courageous enough to share and expose themselves. No, you may not have written a book or even be in a position of ministry in a church but God CAN and HAS used you right here in these lil' ole discussion group pages! So, be encouraged, sisters, to step out more and more, finding your "true root of security in Him"!
Q1. Rejection and Rejection
Q2. I began thinking and meditating and praying… rejection is the main source of most of my insecurities. God allowed me to trace it back to my sister and I growing up; she is 18 months younger and everywhere we went she was always given the extra toy from the Happy Meal by some stranger across the room because she was so cute, and check out ladies would make over how pretty she was and say nothing about me. I remember talking to my granny once (before she died) and she tried to bestow in me that beauty comes from the inside and re-affirm that I was beautiful… but I was too little to understand. Elementary school is full of “mean little boys” and Jr. High School is full of those same boys plus “mean girls”. I was made fun of a lot about being a Christian, being a good girl, being naïve, my church going friends, I had thick glasses, and my hair was horrible! Even now I catch myself wondering what those people are talking and laughing about across the sanctuary (did I do something stupid again? Is it my hair or my clothes?). I have to physically tell myself that they are not talking about ME! God also brought to mind all of my hesitations at my job are because I do not want to be rejected by my coworkers. I do not want to give them any thing that will allow them to talk about me behind my back (which they do any way because I have actually heard them), I work very hard (for my God) and hope that it is good enough for my supervisors (sometimes it is not – others get the high praises that don’t do the job as well), my coworkers meet every now and again after work for dinner/drinks and sometimes a movie (I use to be invited – but no longer am because I don’t drink), I am moving to a new position Monday and when my new supervisor was told that she was getting me I don’t know if she exclaimed “oh man!” (Negatively) or “oh yes!” (Positively) all I heard was something and then the entire room laughed (my new supervisor didn’t know I was in the back of the room). Then there is my best friend since 1988, she has not spoken to me in nine months (she is unsaved). She hasn’t returned any phone calls, note cards/letters, emails… Rejection! It hurts the heart.
My lesson learned: that between nothing said and something said; I rationalize rejection. Rationalize means to imagine explanations or excuses for something… not any more!! NOT ANY MORE!!
Teresa
Bardstown, KY
30’s Married
I think one of the roots of my insecurity that I am just now really identifying is never feeling I fit in as a child. I craved the friendships of my peers (at an…ahem…Christian school) but never really got that. I remember one time sitting at lunch and they all told me what I should change to gain their approval.
To this day, I often times find myself feeling separated by an invisible wall when I am places. I wonder what they are thinking, if my breath smells, if I smell, are my clothes cool enough, is my hair hip enough, on and on and on.
I can't wait to immerse myself even deeper in this study and get a hold of this insecurity thing by the neck and strangle it to death. So long…you have been a bad friend.
Thanks, Beth, your crown in heaven is sure to sparkle. 😉
I am not a writer at all… but I ADORE this community! I have to comment on what you said about us making this a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE! That was OH SO FREEING to me! You have no idea!
I have commented on this Blog from the very beginning and each time… I agonize over my comment even if it is something little like "That really spoke to my heart!"
I always think to myself, "What in the world Emmy?" Most of y'all don't even know me?!? I guess I just want everyone to like me… and to know my heart… even my imaginary friends on the computer!
I pray I will no longer fall into this trap! Thank you for speaking to that! God knew exactly what I needed to hear! : )
1. The two primary roots of my struggle with insecurity are rejection and the feeling of not being good enough. They pretty much go hand in hand. Growing up I never fit in the "in group" and oh how I wanted to. I envied everything about them. I never felt pretty enough, financially stable enough, athletic enough. . . the list could go on and on. Since I wasn't accepted by the "in group" I ended up hanging out with the other group (the druggies, the rednecks, etc) and by the time I was 13 I had lost my virginity. I was then accepted or so I told myself. When in fact, I wasn't accepted. Behind my back it was being said that I was a whore. Another thing was that I was always the one reaching out – the one going the extra mile to build friendships. In some ways I still go out of my way to build relationships (being the one to call – stuff like that). Along with not being accepted came the fear of rejection. Even now I live in fear of being rejected by my friends – if they don't call I think I've done something. I can't count the number of times I have told myself. . . your not worth wanting, you aren't worth loving, you aren't even worth liking,or pursuing! Who would fight for you or much less want to keep you. Shoot, you aren't even worth noticing! At times I still tell myself those things.
2. These words spoke to me and I can see where it has been true in my life. "Given enough time, rejection will set up history to repeat itself over and over until the rejected person forms relationships based on the likelihood that she'll be rejected.
Ginnie
44, Florida
Nelli Fultz
Kingsport, TN
20s
Married
1.) Rejection. High school was BRUTAL. I can remember at a slumber party being told by a girl that the only reason I was invited was because her mom felt sorry for me. I spent the rest of high school trying to be accepted and liked by this group of girls. That sting of rejection still bothers me 12 years later.
2.) Our culture. I used to have a subscription to US Weekly magazine until about a year ago when I felt like God was telling me to get rid of it. Studying the pictures of these flawless celebrities had become a dangerous and unhealthy obsession. It was a lot harder to put down these magazines than what I thought it would be. At first, I had to resort to counting the packs of gum in the grocery store line to keep from devouring those magazines on the other side of the aisle. I had no idea the impact looking at those magazines was having on my confidence and the acceptance of myself.
3.) This January I started the scripture memorization that you all did last year. One of my verses that God gave me for the month of January was "for it is GOD who works in you to will and to act according to His good purposes". (Phil. 2:13) I can't count the number of times I have spoke this verse to my soul while doing this study. I am constantly having to remind myself that I can not break this stronghold of insecurity. Beth Moore, this book, or this blog community can not break this stronghold of insecurity (as helpful as they have been). God and God alone is the only One who can break this stronghold of insecurity in my life. I feel like God was preparing me for this journey before I even purchased this book by showing me to get rid of those magazines a year ago and then by giving me this verse a couple weeks before I started this study. God is faithful!
Wow…okay…
My two main roots of insecurity come from:
1. Rejection (I was the cute little blonde cheerleader that all the other girls hated. I felt like something was innately wrong with me…and often still do.) and
2. Pride (I am almost too insecure to admit that I often think I can do so much better at things than I do them…that I've got more in me and I hate discovering embarrassing flaws.)
I think God is speaking to me through this Pride section of your book. Actually, I think he's been dealing with me about some of this stuff for a while, but you put it so well that is just clearer now.
I wonder if being rejected for so long by peers in and around adolescence didn't cause me to grab ahold of PRIDE for some sense of significance. something to think about.
I just got my book on Wednesday and am thrilled to be caught up to chapter 5. I devoured the book on a snow day here in PA without a lot of snow. Now I need to be caught up with the assignment GOOOOOOOD stuff. Thank you Beth for writing this and the help I am looking forward to in conquoring insecurity.
The two roots of insecurity that impact me most are perfectionism/pride and a dysfunctional family. Even though I wasn't physcially abused as a child, I grew up in a home with a very domineering and verbally abusive father. Most of it was directed at my mother, but observing/hearing this all throughout my childhood and adolescence has profoundly impacted my entire life.
I think the biggest challenge for me as an adult woman has been to overcome insecurity. Thank you for writing this book. It has been a huge help already and we're only up to chapter 6! I sense God's presence as I read and pray – for so long I've been carring around a weight of insecurity, and I'm beginning to feel it lifting as I work through this process of change with His help. I think that for the first time in my life I truely believe that I can overcome this and live in complete freedom. God is so good!
Carlee
40's
married
So long, insecurity blog.
I don't know if I have posted before but this is the last because, for me, insecurity is not an issue.15 years ago, it would have been, but counseling and therapy during that time has erased much of the need to measure up to anyone. I might say 'I am not a girly girl like X is' but it is just a statement in reply to a question, It doesn't bother me. I am who I am and at this late date, that's not likely to change. The only thing I have uncertainty over is the move I made last December–which seems to unleashed all the troubles possible in this world directly on my head. Was it really God's will? Or should I have stayed inn hell, fought against the evil people who still wanted my blood, despite losing every fight against me? Or is this the right thing, and the devil is so furious I had the guts to do it that he is throwing everything he can think of at me? Too bad he isn't throwing some lottery wins at me, then I might have the choice to return to hell. I guess he's overlooked that little angle.
So I am not really getting anything out of this, or the book. It is basically work I've already done in therapy. I am very secure about the issues remaining–mostly about being unlovable, which I definitely em and have ample proof of, and not knowing what I am supposed to do now with my life since marriage and family are a closed door. I really only did this because my precious friend suggested it, and now that I am physoically farther from her, I wanted to feel somehow closer mentally. But I haven't seen even one of her posts and now that people are forgetting to say name age and location it is even harder–and hard is something I don't need right now.
Perhaps the whole purpose in my being here is this: to the lady who can't afford the book–please, if there is a way to do it, send me your address and you can have mine. I did not write in it as suggested or mark in it–haven't done that since my high-school 'born again' days–so it is just like new. Or I could send it to one of the administrators and she could send it on. The book costs too much(I rarely buy hardback because of the price) to go to waste. I would really like to see it go for some good since I can't return it, bookstores are too tempting and I am too broke to risk it!
Karen
40s
Louisville
Is it too late to join this discussion – I don't even own the book yet, but I just started reading Chapter One online and know that I MUST GET THIS BOOK!!! Like I am going to get it tomorrow. I seriously have been laughing out loud at Beth's writing and LOVE her honesty. Not many people are truly HONEST in this life and it's heartbreaking because don't we all need more REAL people in our lives??? Anyway – I want to join in and wish I would've stumbled across this a few weeks ago – but God's timing is perfect right? 🙂
Reading many of these posts makes me cry.
This is my first post and I'm reading the book and loving it. Thank you Beth for always thinking of others' feelings and the need to just be insecurity-free here.
I think my primary root of security stems from the death of my brother when I was 7 years and my mother when I was 9 years old. I stuffed all my grief and was sent away to stay with relatives I barely knew while my father took care of business.
Second, I looked for love at age 15 in a guy who dumped me in a few months after having some sexual contact. I was a latch-key kid for most of my childhood, got poor grades and learned to use my pride (I guess) to become whomever you wanted me to be.
Now, my greatest insecurity is a plague above all others I ever experienced. Insecurity over my salvation. We left a church recently – one we deeply needed to leave after 5 years. The pastor insists that my husband and I (and others too) cannot be saved unless we share the gospel on a regular and consistent basis. I've had depression for many years. That too, our former pastor said, was a sign of not being saved. Now, I'm plagued with insecurity, cannot even pray because of this. Then, again, at the age of 53, you'd think that I'd have learned by now. Hoping to see others who've dealt with this type of spiritual insecurity. Feeling so fragile, I could die.
Candace,
Reading your comment just broke my heart.
Depression is not a sign that you are not saved. I went through and came out of a very dark time two years ago after being saved for many years. Depression is real but please don't believe the lie that you are not loved by God, that you can't pray to Him.
Cling to Jesus, He loves you so.
I'll be praying for you.
Michelle
Rejection is a HUGE root of insecurity. 6 years ago I realized that after three unsuccessful relationships [they all three were seeing another girl while dating me], I was at a very unhealthy place. I began seeing history repeat itself and I knew this thing had to be dealt with… because this was NOT how God wanted me to live. Every situation I encountered fed into the rejection insecurity. WOW. I also began having issues with trusting people… and kept people at a distance.
I quit my salary with benefits job, 3 months ago, to move to Atlanta to work part-time with a ministry. Talk about dramatic change! What I went to school for and had set before myself as a career… almost has nothing to do with my life. Moving placed me in an area that forces me to intentionally meet people, so that I have community. This also feeds into setting me up for rejection. When there is change, I’m taken out of my comfort zone and don’t “feel” like I’m completely capable of what I’m supposed to do.
God revealed to me that the fear of rejection is feeding in to every area of my life. In Him, I am complete. On the outside, no one would ever know how this has plagued me for years. I grew up in a stable home, leader in my church and campus, with tons of accolades and awards.
Zarah
Atlanta
20's
Single
TO ANONYMOUS from Raleigh, NC, separating, 30's. Since your last post I have had you on my mind and in my prayers. I'm in my 40's and have been JUST where you are now. Please know you ARE loved, God really does SEE, and His plans for you will NOT be thwarted. Even if you can't believe it right now, Jesus, your Prince of Peace, is waiting patiently as you work through your anger, bitterness, hurt, sadness. Oh, when you see, you will never forget His patience in this time in your life. BE HONEST with Him how you feel, He can take it. I love Him SO much more now for having gone through all those same things you are dealing with right now. Beth, I will answer my questions later. I just had to share this encouragement with this girl. Don't give up, your Siestas are for you and so is Your God!!! 🙂
Amanda, Olive Branch, MS
40's, Single
This is probably the hardest post to write, and due to my insecurity about the circumstances in my life, I hope you gals don't mind! The first root of my insecurity would have to be instablility in the home. I am not a person who blams my parents for how screwed up I am, they are fanastic people and really gave me a wonderful childhood. Given this, there was instability that probably could not be helped. My father is a pastor, and we began moving when I was 6. we moved several time during my younger years, one of such move was done becasue my fahter had an affair with a woman in our church. This was so confusing to me and we never really dealt with it, even now it is taboo to speak of it. My household instability has carried over into my adult life. My husband, who is also a pastor ironically, is adusive. Without too many details, the abuse in the past has alternated between emotional/psycological and physical. For the past 2 years, the physical abuse has stopped but he psycholocial abuse still rears its ugly head. I know he knows it is wrong and is trying, but it is so hard to live each day not knowing how he is going to feel.
I am at such a loss at what to do ( I am terrible at making any type of decision on my own) the majority of the time…I am basket case on the inside, but on the outside, you would never guess. This brings me to my second root PRIDE. I never would have thought this was an issue with me,but I am too proud to let people see my vulnerability (which is why this is anonymous) and too proud to let people see me at my worst. I am too proud to let anyone know that my life isless than perfect (sick I know)
I honestly don'tknow what God is trying to teach me in this. I think he just needs me to slowly absorb the information I am reading and not to be judgemental of other women.
love you all!
I just had to reply to Michelle at WisGalinOkee. First of all, happy birthday! We're almost the same age. 🙂
Secondly, I just had to let you know my heart is so tender to you based on what you are going through with your husband. I know how unsettling that can be because I've been in the same spot. The thing that helped me the most (besides prayer!) was reading Dr. James Dobson's LOVE MUST BE TOUGH. At first glance, it looks like a book all about overcoming infidelity. It does address infidelity, but that's not the book's core message. My man had simply become disinterested but not unfaithful (that I know of). The book gave me incredible insight as to how to win back his attention and affection. I'm pleased to say it worked!
I strongly recommend this book to ALL couples, whether they are presently struggling or not, because it addresses the issues of respect and attraction in a relationship. Dobson himself says that he wishes all couples going through premarital counseling could be taught the basic principles.
I'm praying for you, girl!
Candice,
Please do not give up hope! You have not been rejected by your God – not now, not ever!
I, too, have walked down the dark road of depression, the latest bout of which was just recently (as in a few weeks). I am starting to climb out of the pit into the light and it is wonderful!
At my lowest point, I too felt like I could just give up – I just wanted to die. That was my wake-up call! There is no way I was going to let the enemy of my soul win this fight!
Don't give up – there really is hope! God is faithful – even in the midst of your doubt and fear and despair, He is at work in your life.
You may not believe it right now, you may not even care if He is or not – but one day, you will come out on the other side of this trial and you will see His handiwork. Your heart will overflow with joy and gratitude and love for the One who fights for you – the One who loves you always, forever, and in spite of yourself!
You are not alone in your battle.I will pray for you you, too.
You are (already)victorious. You are loved and cherished beyond measure.
Don't give up!
This is my first time posting.
Last week I joined Facebook. I am feeling insecure about "friend requesting" – for fear of rejection.
I was relieved to read your comment regarding spelling – I'm really bad! Thanks for being sensitive & welcoming. 🙂
Kathy
40 something
Feeding Hills, Massachusetts
Married 25 yrs.