So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
Crystal 
1. Top 3 reasons why I'm ready to deal with my insecurity now:
A. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines and missing out on all the adventure and joy life has to offer because of my insecurity.
B. I'm sick of giving the devil a foothold in my psyche and falling victim to his schemes. I want Christ to get the glory, not Satan.
C. I'm 42 years old! If not now, then when?!
2. The section on dignity really had an impact on me. I've had so many assaults on my dignity, especially in childhood. Learning that I've been clothed with dignity by God has been a huge turning point for me. It means I'm worthy. I'm worthy of respect. I'm worthy of love. I'm worthy of honor. No matter what's been said about me or done to me. Praise God!
Kim
Louisville, KY
Crystal
Anderson, SC
30s
1. Insecurity can MAKE you a bootlicker!
2. 1.Insecurity paralyzes me and hinders my service to God.
2. Finally realize that God does not judge us by the same standards we judge each other with. God looks at our heart, not our face, a number on a scale, or the degrees on the wall.
3. God wins every time even when Satan has eroded our self-esteem. When we believe the lies of Satan we are essentially giving him the victory.
4. Dignity means to me… that all people are worthy of a certain degree of respect, love, compassion, and understanding because they are people made by God in His own image.
Beth – this is so difficult and yes, haaarrrrrrrrrrrddddd (as your girls used to say). I wanted to put down Chapter 7 several times and actually did.
BUT, something tragic happened in my life that left me even more raw last week – my bestfriend/sister of 25 years had a heart attack at 56 and was found dead. No warning, no sickness, nothing at all.
I will post before Thursday. I just needed to just type it out again..to see it and know she is wonderful and I am grieving…but not as one who has no hope. But it still hurts.
I want to get rid of insecurity in her memory because she battled it all her life as well.
PAX Christi,
Teri
Heather
Ironton, MO
20's
married
1. Insecurity can keep us from accepting compliments and , far worse from accepting love. I can never just say "thank you" to compliments without either negating it or deflecting it. I also stink at showing my husband that I am thankful for how well he loves me… I put up a wall or subtly reject his kindness and affection too often. The whole time, I'm thinking how good he is and how blessed I am… but he sure doesn't see that side. UHHH!!!
2. It's time to deal with my insecurity because:
A) I'm ready to be the wife God has called me to be and love my amazing husband with my words and actions.
B) I want to be an example of a truly Godly woman to my daughter… perhaps, helping her live in freedom.
C) I'm ready to live in the freedom Christ offers and love His people right into that freedom too.
3. This morning, I didn't feel pretty. My husband came to give me kiss. Usually, I make an excuse about feeling yucky and turn away a little. This morning I kissed him back and smiled. Truth is, I still felt insecure, but, I didn't act on it…perhaps it's on it's on it's way "from my head to my heart."
4. I'm being visual. I see a woman who is captivating for all the right reasons. Because of her humility and confindence her dignity points people right to her Savior.
1. "Insecurity can make a fool out of you by making a liar out of you." I almost stopped reading the book at this one – I've done this since I was in elementary school, no idea what started it and no idea that God intended for me to deal with it through this book!
2. A) I'm tired of giving to the enemy what is rightfully God's. B) I'm just too tired to keep it all up anymore. C) God isn't letting me get away with ignoring this stuff anymore – looks like He's got plans for me to see this thing through!
3. Recent trigger – boss got a call about a "personnel issue." Yep, definitely got a rise out of me – I jumped to the conclusion it was about me and went as far as to ask him about what should have been a private meeting he had on his calendar with the HR Director. (Not about me, either, contrary to what my pride seemed to assume).
4. Dignity is acting like the respectable, gracious heir of God that I am, not the "princess" that my family has seen me as.
Patty
Colorado Springs, CO
50's
Married
1. Chapter 7 really showed me the role that insecurity plays in so many people's lives. It varies and plays out differently in each one of us. But we are not as alone in this as we previously thought we were.
2. I need to deal with insecurity because:
A. It has robbed me of so much of life already.
B. I need to know deep inside just who I really am, who God has made me to be, and what God has given me that I need to believe and act on.
C. This is the time, of all the seasons in my life, now is the time to go forward in a life that is changed, empowered, standing firm in all that God has for me.
3. A recent trigger of insecurity for me was just yesterday as I was brushing my teeth and looking into the mirror. I saw a woman who is getting older, many more wrinkles are showing, some gray in my air is sticking out…and I was so disappointed in myself, in the way I looked, in how I saw myself. To top it off, I have nerve pain in my face, so I can't even touch my face in places, let alone put on some makeup to help me look a little better! It did get a rise out of me. I'm going through a process of finding out about abuse that happened to me in my childhood, and this just added one more thing.
4. Reading the explanation of dignity came at just the right time for me. God showed me that even though I was humiliated, embarrassed, and degraded in my childhood, He Himself has given me dignity. I AM worthy of respect. What happened to me in my past truly does NOT define who I am today. Praise You, God!
I had another trigger I wanted to share because it's not quite as hefty as the first one I shared (thank goodness).
A couple of weeks ago, "the boss" (the boss of my boss) called me to his office (which is normal) but when I got there his door was closed. I walked in and there was the firm administrator, and two other big guns. My immediate thought was "what have I done wrong?"!!
He wanted me to take a piece of paper to another attorney. WHAT??? I made a [foolish] comment that went something along the lines of "you just about gave me a heart attack"…
*sigh* Oh those triggers – we're gonna get ya!
I am one of the 100 that hasn't posted yet — here it goes.
What hit me was how pervasive insecurity is and the faces it wears. It brings havoc and destruction to our lives. I realize how Satan has used it to steal, kill, and destroy in my life. He has stolen potential, ministry, joy, he has killed and destroyed opportunities and relationships. Specifically, I was hit with:
•How insecurity can make you act like an idiot in female relationships –overcommunicating, worrying, turmoil over what others are thinking and rehearsing and rehashing what was said, how it could have been said better, trying desperately to be understood.
•Insecurity can be a relentless robber – it keeps me from initiating and developing friendships, developing and utilizing my gifts, stepping out in faith and fully seizing things God has planted in my heart, it keeps me from trying new things – fear – it has made me settle for what appears “safe”, it has caused me to cease to "dream", it keeps me distracted and from rich, authentic relationships that could bring balance to my life, it keeps me isolated.
Why it’s time to deal with my insecurity:
a.)I’m just so stinkin’ tired. I’m tired of the emotional, physical, mental and emotional energy it is requiring of me — always afraid that I am disappointing others and God. I’m tired of worrying about others opinions.
b.)I have four precious children ages 15-21 – three of them girls. All are high achievers and love the Lord but I see some of the tendencies of perfectionism in them – they are hard on themselves and trying to convince them otherwise is hard – but I don’t listen too well when others say the same of me. I want so much more for them. I want them to be free, unafraid to embrace all that God has for them. I want those “arrows” to go far beyond their dad and I and to leave these generational strongholds behind.
c.)I want to live purposefully in this second half of life. I want to dream again and to boldly live the “dreams” and desires God puts on my heart (after I recover from the present exhaustion!). I don’t want insecurity to rob me from the joy of brave obedience and a purpose-filled life for His glory.
Two of my girls and I are going to LPL Toronto and are so excited to see you there! Praying much for you Beth, and the whole LPL team.
Heather
40 something
married
Toronto, Canada
Keeps getting better! I am so praising the Lord that he had already started a work in me – but this books has helped to reinforce that which was started!
I saw my "old-self" in so many of the stories shared in chapter 7 … so to determine which one hit home the MOST … there is not enough room.
#2 reasons to deal with insecurity
as Beth said … "I was no longer reacting to insecurity the way the enemy wanted me to, I had yet to begun to react in the way that God wanted me to"
THIS IS THE REASON THAT I AM READY TO DEAL!
Which is eye opening to me, I was living in darkness thinking that I was saved and living for God, which I am – but the insecurity still continued to sneak in. Different then in my old life, THANK YOU THANK YOU!
I had not been able to put my finger on the reason why I was so drawn to this book, but the Lord knew. He knew I was being held back from all that He desires for me. THANK YOU BETH!
Beth, 30's
Fishers, IN
1. The part that hit home the most was the weight issues. I have always struggled with being overweight, but it seems the older I get, the more and more it keeps me from doing things I want to do because I feel like people will laugh at me.
2. A. Because I am sick and tired of feeling inferior to other people.
B. Because I am not living my life to the fullest and letting God use me.
C. Because my children see my struggles and even though I have boys, they still struggle with insecurity and I want them to be secure in themselves.
4. Dignity means that I am sure of myself and the fact that I am a child of God and He loves me so just the way I am.
Tammy
40s
Wingo, Kentucky
It works ladies! It really works! Today I had a really embarrassing encounter with one of my co-workers where I started mumbling and getting all tongue tied while I was talking with them. When they walked away, I was about to start my usual refrain of "You are such an idiot" over and over in my head but instead I caught myself and said "God has clothed you with strength and dignity". Instantly I felt a rush of confidence. It was so awesome! I think for the first time I really started believing today that security is possible. Let His truth speak louder than our lies! Thank you Beth for this book.
Jennifer
Buena vista, va
20s
single
First of all, bethie THANK YOU for that video. I was startinng to feel very discouraged. Not anymore! GRIN!
1. What part of chapter 7 resonated with you most and why.
The entire chapter resonated with me. In one way or another I could relate to every story. It was SO hard to read the entire chapter, but I'm glad that I did.
2. Based on your journey so far, list your own personal top three reasons that it's time to deal wih your insecurity
a) It's holding me back in life and I'm tired of it.
b)My insecurity has caused me a lot of personal pain and I want to heal it.
c)I want to get rid of it so the devil can't use it against me anymore.
3. Based on Chapter 8, breify describe a recent trigger of insecurity and weather or not it got a rise out of you.
A couple of weeks ago at work my boss told me that she wanted to talk to me when I got signed into work. I automaticaly started to get extreamly insecure and started to quesiton myself and my job performance. It wasn't anything major, and I can't believe how worked up I got. When I get really insecure I get really emotioal and defensive, which almost happened but I was able to pervent it from happening.
1)What hit home the most in chapter 7? The two issues that spoke to me were insecurity weighing heavy in weight issues, and insecurity can be a robber. With the latter I have allowed my personal insecurities, fears and comparisons rob me from going where God wants me and claiming territory seriously in professional ministry. I keep thinking there is NO way it can happen… and yet, it is happening!
I'm in The Inheritance Study w/ my Women’s group right now, and I feel like Jesus and Beth are my personal cheerleaders! In both the Inheritance and in this chapter Beth mentions how gifted God’s people are. p. 143: “He knows we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary.” Wow! Me too? I mean, WOW- Me Too!!!
2)My Three reasons it is TIME, Sisters!!!!
a.God has work for me to do in ministry, but insecurity, pride and fear need to make way for a new way of thinking- Security and Trust… I loved the end of Chapter 8“All insecurity is a cover-up for unbelief.” HEY! I’m believing GOD!
b.God wants me to be a healthy example to non-Christians in my life. How can I reflect the love, security, power and freedom of Jesus if I am a slave to insecurity????
c.God wants me to be good to the body he gave me. Its time to move my rear end. I am a mom chasing a toddler at home at a teacher helping raise up the next generation. One more nap is not the answer- I need a stronger body! I made a commitment to the Lord 3 weeks ago to get off my tail and “Dance” w/ Denise Austen's Boot camp DVD M-F at 6 am… I am super excited by my aching muscles every day!
3)Trigger- Went to visit my parents just this weekend. My father is an alcoholic, and he also loves being a “button pusher.” My relationship with my parents has been a source of insecurity for much of my life… but more and more I am standing on the security of Christ. When my father started trying to push my buttons I totally ignored it. It barely got an inner rise out of me-only the awareness that he was trying to get a “bite.” When he got no reaction, amazingly, the conversation and atmosphere shifted to more pleasant places. How exhilarating the freedom–Wheeeee!
4)Dignity- I was so moved by the vision of dignity as my crown. Its all jiving in me head since as I said, I’m also doing The Inheritance Study… I am an Heiress! I am highly valued by the Creator of the Universe! Worthy of respect! No whisper of lies from the enemy can knock off my Tiara of Dignity! Or yours sisters!
I love you Siestas!!!! God is so Extravagantly in LOVE with us and it makes my heart swell to bursting with JOY!
Beth… what can I say? Thank you, thank you, thank you- I am so PUMPED! I can't wait to see where God's taking us next!
Monica
38
VA
Married 🙂
Kelly Snodgrass
30's/ married
Rogersville,TN
#2. a)"All insecurity is a cover-up for unbelief", and unbelief is an obstacle to our access to the benefits of God. (OK, I can't belive I just opened Breaking Free…now I 'm scared LOL) Seriously, I want to BELIEVE GOD!
b)I am cooperating with the Enemy in some areas. I want to STOP IT. And I want to know God more.
c)I have 2 daughters young enough to influence with what I am learning. Thank you LORD.
#3. Insecurity triggers :
lonliness, fear, just wanting to control stuff (foolish independence), certain days of the month…ahem
Joy
Altadena, CA
30's, single
2. a) I'm tired of being trapped in self-loathing when I look in the mirror. I don't want my day or my value to be dependent on my looks.
b) Insecurity freezes me when I'm in situations to be evaluated, like an audition, and I am always so afraid of the judgement or comparing myself to those around me that I'm miserable and can never do my best.
c) Insecurity damages my relationships. I'm tired of often walking away feeling over exposed or over analyzing what I said (was it too personal, too open, to opinionated, too talkative, etc.)
d) (I know this is one more than you asked for, Beth) Insecurity traps me into a self focus and self absorption (as a way to remain safe) that leaves me bored, tired and not nearly as useful to those around me as I'd like to be. For example, this insecure self absorption affects my ability to be a good listener because I'm wondering what I can say to help (and perhaps impress) or what they may be thinking of me. This is especially true in large groups where I am more ill at ease.
4. To me Dignity means I'm safe enough to not only walk in complete confidence that I'm valuable to my Father, but I'm able to throw my cloak over another's vulnerable and exposed parts because I can see their God-given dignity even when they can not. This is different than conspiring to codependantly further denial by masking the truth. It's respecting the inate God-image I see in my neighbor's face and valuing them for it.
Question 2
a. because I'm tired of that sickening feeling that happens as soon as the insecurity starts
b. because I want to be confident not constantly worrying about what everyone else thinks.
c. because this particular issue is huge and it's just plain time to take it out.
Question 3
I had a stifled insecurity get triggered. I'm highly insecure about new places I've never been where I don't know how things work. I fear looking like a fool, basically. So someone gave me a gift card for a mani/pedi last year and it's about to expire at the end of March. I have let that gift card worry me for 11 months because I've never had a mani/pedi and I didn't want to go by myself. (It's at a high end place where neither my friends nor I could afford to go.) Every time I see the gift card I have that same sinking feeling inside – and it's sad because it was given to me for relaxation, not stress induction. So this morning, I just decided to get over my pride and make the appointment. I'm going today – with dignity. 🙂
This is for Washington Lady – –
My question is, how do you know when it is your insecurity rising up or when it is insight into something that is really going on? And how do you find out without appearing super psycho and insecure?
I have long always had this question when it came to dealing with certain situations (ie: is he talking to someone else, is my coworker trying to take over my project – – etc). It's ok to have those thoughts, but don't let it overpower you. Remember the part on page 216 about the girl who had access to the other half's email account? All that snooping around and our NEED for information created a situation where she ended up feeling helpless. When I have insecurity I acknowledge it then I try to acknowledge the other person in that situation – I envision that person in my mind and enfold them in light. I always pray or meditate to calm my thoughts and then that's when the insight truly comes in. Once your insight comes in then you can react. By reacting I mean talking, having a discussion and not an argument. Being straightforward helps such as "I'm experiencing some anxiety related to A, B, C. Can you help me to understand (fill in the blank) situation?"
This is how I have handled things which is a far cry from a year ago of temper tantrums and sarcastic humor. I have since found that when a feeling of insecurity comes up – it's usually like a barrage of thoughts that can give you a headache and almost cause you to panic (if you physically feel these things like I have – you may actually get out of breath and your hands may tremble). Insight is different – – it is usually a single, complete thought that is calm and deliberate. It stays with you throughout the day and then all the other messages you receive that day (spiritually) are related to that main complete thought. That's how I know.
Does asking this question make me even more insecure?
No, it does not. You are asking a question that many others also would like an answer to. Of course my answer is based on my experience and everyone is such a beautiful and unique being of God, there may be different answers to these questions.
1. What part of Chap 7 hit home the most. . . "Lying has a titanic link to insecurity." (p 135). Oh, my, was that my default for so many years, and it went so deep that I actually believed some of the things that I said and allowed others to believe! How deep my denial went. As God has redeemed this very broken part of me, He has just put a stop to "stretching the truth" or "just changing a little for clarity." Yuck, when I think of how I used to be
2. Personal top 3 reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity. .
A. I'm 52 years old, for cryin' out loud! God has done such a work, and I'm nowhere near what I used to be, but I want the thing done!!
B. We are moving to a new state, a new ministry — I want to be the partner in ministry my husband needs, and not be dragging him down with my junk
C. There is so much in the "cycle of dysfunction" that God has broken and redeemed — I want to display to my grown children and my grandchildren that He never stops the redemption, and they don't have to "settle" in the Christian life
3. There's one particular woman in our church (I'm a pastor's wife) that I battle with feeling stupid and "less than" (nothing that she's done, mind you, and we really aren't even close). When the announcement came that we were moving to another ministry, she talked to me (for the first time in months) and I immediately found myself in the "why is she talking to me? did what I just say sound stupid?" and the rest of the junk. Hallelujah and praise God, I was able to nip that stuff in the mental bud and combat those lies with truth. But battle can be exhausting, can't it?!
4. For me, dignity means that I am who God made me to be. I don't have to be as smart as some; I don't have to be as pretty; as energetic; as productive. God will equip me to do what He wants me to do, and it will be done His way and in His time, with the uniqueness that is me. He chose me from before the foundation of the world, that I should be holy and blameless before Him . . .(Ephesians 1)
Beverly
Stayton OR (but soon in VA)
married
52 years old
Greetings. I wonder if you can post a transcript of what you said in the video?
I'm your follower, a Deaf follower, so I wonder if you can make it accessible, grins. Transcribed narration would work just fine. 🙂 Thanks!
Shelley
30's
Lakeland,Fl
Married
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home most.
The story of living in sin and doing sinful things. I began having sex at age 12. I wanted to be loved my a boy so badly. I ended up having 7 sexual partners by the time I was 18. Praise God I met my husband at that time as I probably would have continued on my destructive behavior. During my teenage years I was searching so furiously for that love from a male as my father left the home when I was 12. I was devastated and at that time I wasn't a Christian, I beleived in God, but did not know him or what it was to be his child. I still have issues with these sins, I know I am forgiven, bur can't seem to forgive myself, and I missed out on the innocense of those years and being able to give myself to my husband only. I deeply regret that.
2.
Three reasons it's time to deal with my insecurity
1. God is telling me to
2. I need to forgive myself
3. I need to forgive my dad and realize that even though he left the home, he still loved me.
3. Recent trigger of insecurity and if chapter 8 got a rise.
I was also adopted as a child and have recently met my brother after 37 years. We talk constantly, but sometimes I feel like he is going to decide I am not worthy of a relationship. I am constantly looking for cues that tell me it's time to sever before I get hurt. I hate this feeling and these thoughts. He has made it very clear that he searched for years for me and loves me very much, I want to accept that, but something deep inside is afraid.
4. What does dignity mean to me?
Dignity means being respected and not made a fool of. Dignity to me is not being criticized and called stupid.
1. Insecurity has definitely confined and limited me throughout my life. I have always been VERY uncomfortable in social situations or even just moving through a room if I felt that attention would be drawn to me.
2. A. I know that God created me and considers me beautiful, so it's time for me to believe Him, stop calling Him a liar, and agree with Him. B. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7)…and I want to claim that and live that. C. After almost 47 years, I'm tired of feeling…well…insecure.
3. Not hearing back from a client on a proposal I provided on some badly needed (both sides – them and me) business. Oh, yes, it definitely has gotten a rise out of me, several times, but I keep giving it back to God to handle…whichever way He wants it to go.
4. Dignity to me is God-given security and confidence that is reflected in my life, my bearing, my personality, my speech, and my behavior.
Deborah J.
40's
Married
Clearwater, FL
Chapter 7 & 8
1. There were a couple of things that really "hit home" with me..pg 122 "secrity means we know a jerk when we see one and we know a crime when we experience one". I've always thought that it was my "laid back personality" that allowed me to be "run over" an awful lot, but low and behold some of that must have come from insecurity.. Go figure!! The second one is "God himself formed human emotions…He also knows the resilience with which he made us and the innate capacity within each one of us to be restored….He knows we are not nearly as fragile as we think we are, but we will act like who we believe ourselves to be. He knows we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary, and not just in spite of where we've been, but because of it." I'm so thankful that all of my "beens" will have a purpose!!
2. a). to become what God wants me to be..if I stay in my past "beens" that have been lacking in "wisdom of God" (insecurities) I will never become who God created me to be
b). I am a mom to 4 girls – how can I "teach by example" when I don't "have" what I need to teach them
c). My marriage has gone through a really rocky period in the past few years…how can I become the wife I'm to be when I'm stuck in all this insecurity from the past?? So my marriage depends on it as well
3. I babysit kids in my home and I had to make a decision that one of the moms didn't like at all. She is voicing her opinion all over town ( we live in a very small town) and it's hard not to run behind her and give "my side of the story". I feel at peace w my decision, just not the "wake" but I would really like to explain that so that people "won't be upset with me". haha
4. I liked the part where you said "dignity is to be worthy of respect". No matter how foolish I have been or feel I have been God has given me dignity. I just need to take it. Respect, honor, high esteem
Thanks for your ministry and doing what God has told you to do. You have touched many lives. Thank You!!!
Shelle
Lusk, WY
36
I bought two books just this week one for me & one for my BFF…. I want to say that I truly feel like I am sitting down with a friend over coffee & they are sharing with me their heart with UNDERSTANDING & COMPASSION – the encouragement has motivated me to truly look at the insecurity that has affected EVERY area in my life.
Thank you Beth for your openess & honesty.
Nancy
London, England
20's
Married
1. I most identified with insecurity making me act like an idiot in female friendships. Rejection from female friends in my childhood/teenage years has made me a bit paranoid about my friendships with other women and I can identify with both jealousy of friends' other friendships and freaking out if there's a even slight relationship tiff.
2. I only have one reason:
A: It's making me a really ugly person
4. I was really struck by "Pride is dignity's counterfeit". My insecurity manifests in my pride/boasting. Dignity sounds so beautiful in comparison, I love that God gave us dignity!
2. My Top 3 Reasons to deal with Insecurity:
A. p.15 "Scripture claims that believers in Christ are enormously gifted people. Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts, for all practical purposes, are largely unproductive or, at the very least, tentative?" I don't want to be a luke-warm, tentative Christian; or one who cares more about what people think than what God thinks.
B. p. 11 "The enemy of our souls has more to gain by our setbacks…make us feel hopeless & tempt us to quit." We have been in the adoption process for 4 years — most of this time, God has given us great peace. But as I approach my 50th birthday in May, I'm beginning to wonder if we heard Him wrong, and occasionally to feel weary in our 'adoption journey'. I don't need to deal with insecurity on top of the normal challenges that come with raising children for the Lord.
C. p. 10 "Life is too hard and the world too mean for many of us to grasp a lofty sense of acceptance, approval and affirmation early on and keep hold of it the rest of our lives…come what may." I know that dealing with insecurity is very personal, but I can see that our kids do tend to fall into some of the same traps that we do. I'm praying that my gaining victory over insecurities could help to prevent them from having to deal with the same issues. It's less painful to listen & learn than to have to learn by experience.
1. There was a lady who talked about her struggle with a family member and how that has caused her to act foolishly. I hate how I act around my sister-in-law and I have been able to see more than ever that it is because of my insecurities! My husband is the oldest of 2 boys in his family, so I was the first daughter, and only daughter. That was a first for me as there are 4 girls in my family and I am in the middle. I never felt that I had a place and was pretty much overlooked for the older/younger sisters. My in-laws are wonderful, in fact my mother-in-law is truly a dear friend of mine. I reveled in this spot of only daughter and soaked it in for 3 years… when my sister-in-law to be came on the scene I felt seriously threatened at this precious position that I had. Because of my insecurities, I just let those feelings of being threatened and the jealousy overwhelm me. I am just so ashamed of myself and how I have acted around her because of my insecurities.:( I am hoping that once I am truly free of all of this junk, that we can really become friends.
2. My top 3 reasons for dealing with my insecurity are:
A) My relationship with my husband… he has battled an addiction to pornography, combined with me growing up in a home with an emotionally absentee father who cheated on my mom over and over… I can freak out pretty quickly if my mind starts to tell me that he is either looking at stuff again or cheating on me. I hate how out of control it makes me feel and how much it gives satan a victory because I am not taking any of my feelings or worries to Christ first. We are in a far different place in our marriage then we were 5 years ago when it all became known. He is a wonderful husband and is pursuing Our Savior. I so want to be free from this insecurity so that I can be the wife that God wants me to be to him.
B) We have a 5 year old daughter. I want more than anything for her to grow up secure and knowing and believing what a precious creation of Jesus Christ that she is. I don't want her to make the same mistakes that I did because of my deep insecurities.
C) My relationships with other women… I am one of 4 girls in my family, so you would think that I would be able to get along with other females pretty well… but that is so far from the truth. I am so insecure around other women and it has truly made a fool of me more times than I care to remember. Enough already!!!
3) A recent trigger of insecurity: 2 of my mutual friends from church spent an entire Saturday together shopping. I had gotten a call from one of them that day, but had missed her call. I called her back and had to leave a message. The next day at church she and I were talking pleasantly with each other and then she apologized or missing my call and explained why she had called. She and this other friend had been out shopping together and were looking for a certain pair of pants that I had reccommended. There went the pleasant conversation. I just got so jealous and left out feeling and just kind of clammed up and became short with her. For the rest of the day when I saw her I had constructed my protective wall around myself and just spoke to her out of forced politeness.
4) Dignity to me means finally coming to truly see myself the way that God does. So that when I look in the mirror or think about the way that I look, my overwhelming thoughts are thoughts of His view of me and not if I look chunky or frumpy or something like that. Also, it means that I can truly start living a life free of insecurity because I am so totally secure in who I am in Christ!!
Blaire
Topeka, KS
30s
Married
Loved that video, Beth, and love your heart!
1. The part of chapter 7 that hit home the most for me was on page 115 with the example of insecurities ramping up upon becoming a mother. I know God wants to break the cycle of generational sin in my life, and so I have felt so defeated when I see myself doing the very things I do not want to do. Satan has fed me those same lies that "I can't do this" and that "they would be better off without me". I think I thought mothering would be easier since I was a believer. That I would be better equipped to be patient, gracious, loving, wise, self-controlled, and would teach truth to my kids in a way they would receive with joy. But it is much more challenging than I ever realized! And I have tried to do it in my own strength too much, rather than relying on Him. I guess I'm realizing that just because God wants to break us free from something, doesn't mean it's going to come easily, and without an assault from the enemy.
2. It's time to deal with my insecurity
A. because I don't want it to rub off on my children.
B. because I have a wonderful husband, and I need to fully accept his love.
C. because too much of my time and energy is wasted on thinking about it and analyzing my interactions.
3. I called a person and was trying to chat and catch up, and they made it clear that they were too busy and didn't want to talk to me. Afterwards, I felt the familiar wringing feeling of my heart…of rejection. Then I prayed and asked God to help me think through it with a proper perspective, knowing that He will never reject me. I made the choice to believe the best about the person, rather than assuming that they were rejecting me. They may have been stressed by the things they needed to do, and felt comfortable enough with me to let me know that. They were probably just thinking more about their own needs, and not trying to intentionally hurt my feelings.
4. Dignity means being worthy of respect. Having God-given value that cannot be taken away.
Lori
Mapleville, RI
50's
Married
1. The part that hit me most was the bathroom story. I have bathroom issues when I am in public or even when I go away. I have a hard time using public facilities!
2. A. I am tired of being insecure!
B. I am desperate to see myself as God sees me!
C. I want to be a true servant of the Lord, one that He is able to use to the fullest of the capabilities that He has given me!!
3. It is something Church related with a fellow parishoner. She is a bit demanding and wants everything done when it is convenient for her, not thinking that others also have to be considered. I was getting pretty frustrated with this project and starting to feel as though I wasn't living up to her expectations. Then I remembered WHO I was working for and I know that the LORD is well pleased!!! I calmed down and "resolved that my mouth would not sin"!!!
4. Dignity – to hold high standards, to be uncompromising, to be respectful and respected. I have always believed that in order to be dignified you must treat all others with dignity.
Abby, Dallas, 25, Married 🙂
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
Pride-I never knew that I took criticism so personally b/c I was insecure. I thought it was b/c I was a perfectionist. Insecurity is the root b/c I fear messing up and letting people down so I try to be perfect and when I am not, I do not like attention to be drawn to me. I went to a "Freedom from Fear" conference at my church- they said "If you fear rejection, you worship acceptance." I do not want either- I want complete freedom and security in Christ.
2.
A. I know I am living in bondage. I get mad at myself after all of my insecurity spats! (you know, the kind you overanalyze and kick yourself for after its over?)
B. My confidence is one of the things that attraced my husband to me and I want to get it back. – I think people in general find confident people refreshing to be around. The "high maintenence" types who need constant assurance, affirmation, etc. can be draining- I don't want to be a drainer to my husband or my friends.
C. I want to fully and wholly find my identity in Christ- nothing and no one else. I would love to quit comparing and start LIVING!
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
Simply being invited (out of default) to pre-existing dinner plans knowing that I didn't make the "first cut." Its hard not being the "favorite" or the first girl that comes to mind with some of my friends.
To KerryLaine:
Yes ma'am I was taught to worship something other than your god, but no I will not go to hell if I turn to your god. I would rather not go into detail about the religion I was raised in for fear "insecurity" of being judged for it. I was taught because of the way I was rasied that I cannot go to heaven if there was one. I was taught that there is nothing after this life. I'm sorry but I do not own a bible, and I'm afraid to buy one because I was taught that opening a bible would be betrayal and there would be consequences. Although I do not practice or believe whole heartedly in that religion, I do not know enough about your god and that stuff to be willing to risk it. I feel like an adult with a child-like curiosity about your god and stuff because it fascinates me but I don't know if the risk is worth it. I love to learn new things and this god stuff is new to me but it is just such a big risk to take just to want to learn. I just wanted to say thank you to you, Beth, Redeemed and the other Siestas who have been so encouraging. I would like to continue to read and participate in Siestaville though if I may.
Alexis
Steilacoom, WA
Married
30's
1. The part of Chapter 7 that hit home with me the most and why was insecuritiy explodes with rejection and can twist our perceptions. My husband had an affair some years ago and the thought of it to this day consumes me. I question if I am good enough, pretty enough etc. I call/text him a million times a day, do the "drive bys" to make sure he is where he says he is. I know I am a long way from being healed but with Gods grace I am getting there. It sure is nice to know I am not alone!
2. The top three reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity.
A. I want to feel freedom and not being consumed by insecurity.
B. my husband
c. my kids
3. A recent trigger of insecurity was my husband made a phone call to the woman he had a affair with (they have kids together)and ooooohhhh yes it got a rise out of me.
4. Dignity means to me to be honored, respected, highly esteemed.
The thing that touched me most in chapter 7 was how many of the "stories" I shared, actually it made me sick to think of how I have let insecurity control my every thought and so many of my actions.
It is time to deal with my insecurity because I am 50 years old, successful in my career and behind the illusion of my life is the "wrecked" me. I have spent most of my adult life lying about the childhood that I had, wanting people to believe that I was raised in wealth. My mom sent me to private schools, education was so important to her, but I always felt less than the others who had so much more in terms of material things and so the lies started. Today I look back and wish I could relive those days and maybe with the help of this book and Breaking Free I can finally reclaim who I really am.
My most recent encounter with insecurity was in church on Sunday evening. I felt that everyone could understand the Scripture reading but me, I came home depressed but eager to delve further into my readings to "impress" my church friends. I really am pathetic.
Dignity to me is never worrying about what others think about me or how they view me. Dignity is feeling comfortable in my own skin because God created me in His image.
Thank you,
Mary Ann
It is interesting that as I read others comments I look at pictures and think how beautiful and accomplished these women are and then read their answers and realize that the surface is truly an illusion.
1. Being over-controlling: not just with my children, but also with my husband. My control has exhibited itself by my secretly going into their emails, on-line history, searching their rooms etc…
2. a. I'm worth it! (I've never believed it before)
b. It is too consuming! I'm tired of always feeling this way, and I'd like to get up every morning with a different perspective.
c. My husband and children (and now d-i-l and grandson) deserve to have someone (ME) who isn't always looking to them for approval and security.
3. Most recently…my husband having so many female friends who are emailing him…it is all innocent, but in my mind it has a tendency to go everywhere!
4. Being able to look at myself in the mirror and know that no matter what "I AM WORTHY".
Rhonda
Ohio
48
married
2. 3 reasons:
a. I no longer have confidence. I’m terrified of everything – every decision, every action or inaction, every relationship.
b. I’m tired. Insecurity is exhausting.
c. I’m stuck in the past; constantly buying all of the “you’re not worth it” lies that led me to this point.
3. I found out about two hours ago that the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with is coming to town for a visit this weekend. And if that’s not enough she’s staying with one of my best friends – the one that constantly reassured me she would stand by me during this mess, the one I was supposed to spend my weekend with. So, yes, to say it’s getting a “rise” out of me is an understatement.
Kelli
CT
30
Married
1. The part of Ch. 7 that hit home for me was literally that I had to put it down for a second when I started it. Normally, I love a challenge and digging deep, but I remember it was a particularly hard day that day, and I was so overwhelmed by all the hurting women everywhere. So many of my Christian girlfriends have been fighting fierce battles and my heart just simply ACHED for women everywhere reading this Chapter. I HATE that insecurity makes us look and feel like idiots and I HATE that women fight this battle. But you know what? It just fired me up to HATE the evil of it all and fight alongside God for myself and for the women around me. My sorrow turned to a burning action, and I believe THAT is what God wants and that is what Beth wanted us to see in writing this Chapter (and book). Our God wants to be FED UP with this garbage and let Him turn our mourning into JOY! We are fearfully and wonderfully made! As my Great Aunt Theresa had on her fridge magnet, "I know I'm somebody cause God don't make no junk". Praise Him.
The last story of Ch 7 — the story about God delighting in calling us His children — was just a beautiful word picture for me. I told my husband last night that it's hard being a person 🙂 It's so awesome to know that we can always be people-children to our Father and be taken care of in our greatest or least need.
2. (a) My insecurities ruin my effectiveness
(b) My insecurities destroy healthy relationships with my husband
(c) My insecurities draw out horrible, ugly words and actions that I never mean and immediately regret. This repercussion of my insecurities only surfaces around people I love, which means they are hurt most by them.
3. My weight has been a huge issue lately. I hurt my knee running a year ago and am at the point where anything hurts it (even sleeping, if you can believe that!). Exercise is limited and I've not done a good job of monitoring my food intake. I know I have to tackle this, but last night, I just felt horrible. I didn't feel like I was good enough at anything, so I kept telling my husband I was just "medium". He would say, "You're a great ____ (wife, teacher, etc)" and I would say, "Eh, I'm just medium. Like a 4 on 1-10." I interwove it with what I thought was great humor and wit as to disguise my insecurity, but he saw right through me 🙂 That being said, it is so important to have a cheerleader on this journey. Whether a husband or a mother or a sister or a trusted friend… the voice of reason when we're unreasonable is so crucial to becoming healthy.
4. I love that dignity circles our head as a crown… LOVE THAT PART. Oooh, my mind needs dignity when insecurity makes me feel less than worthy. I think having dignity means that one can stand firm her ground in any situation…glowing with the Truth and the confidence of Christ. That nothing can shake or rattle her. That nothing can inflate her pride or deflate her humility. That she can stand just how she was made and that she can be proud of how HE made her.
2.my top three reasons are:
-my insecurities are inhibiting my ability to serve and that is NOT okay anymore
-my insecurities keep me from experiencing what God has for me in relationships with other women
-my insecurities need to be conquered so I can walk in victory while raising my 2 beautiful daughters (and a son to boot)
3. a recent example of my insecurity slapping me in the face hits on one of my reasons above. I had the opportunity to serve in a certain capacity and I chickened out for my various stupid reasons and I was left feeling so selfish and ridiculous! I'm determined to allow God to do his work in me so that this will not happen again!!
Amanda J
married
30
Lubbock,TX
Hey Beth and all..
1. i can't believe the compromises we have made as women and how little we see ourselves as God sees us. the enemy is GETTING us here as a gender.
2. it's time to deal with my insecurity because:
a. i am certain that i will totally avoid my calling and, really, avoid living life and enjoying it. i feel like i have already so far.
b. i'm afraid i'll leave a long line of broken relationships and burned bridges behind me if i don't deal with it.
c. i'm sick of it. and i'm scared by how pervasive it is and how unaware of it i've been. how much i've indulged it and let it run rampant and direct my life and decisions. i dont want it to define me. i want so much to be a whole woman of God, not in bondage to anything but Christ Jesus Himself, which is freedom. I am longing for security.
d. for my children, yet to be born, Lord-willing. i am now seeing how my major insecurities are the same as my mom's.. coincidence?? i think not. i want to break the chain.
3. Just today at work. Gulp. 🙂 Yesterday I was in kind of a grouchy foul mood at work, and today a co-worker asked me if I was feeling better today. I immediately thought she was referring to my icky mood yesterday, which i felt bad/self-conscious about, and my defenses came up. "What are you talking about, I'm not sick," I said. To which she responded with a somewhat puzzled face, "weren't you feeling dizzy yesterday?" Then i remembered i had been feeling really dizzy all day and had mentioned it to her.. and I was immediately humiliated. and so humbled. I felt like an idiot. Guess I need to keep reading the book, huh? 🙂
4. Dignity means freedom to me. Freedom to be who I really am in God-honoring confidence. To be able to hold my head high because the only Person whose opinion matters has called me Accepted in the Beloved.
love all you other women.. thanks for sharing your hearts and enriching my life and reading!
martha
asheville, NC
20s
married
Donna
50s
married
Palm Coast, FL
1. The part of Chap 7 that hit home with me most is the confining nature of insecurity. It has restricted me thru so much of my life. Since childhood insecurity has dictated ridiculous thoughts, often with subsequent embarassing actions.
2. My top 3 reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A. I'm too old to keep acting this way.
B. I want freedom.
C. God does not intend for me to live in bondage to anyone/ anything, but as His bondslave.
2. Top 3 reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A) Jesus. He didn't suffer and die on the cross for me to give in to the enemy's trap of insecurity.
B) My 10 year old daughter. I want to be role model of a secure mom for her.
C) Too much time has been wasted on worrying & second-guessing myself. Too much money has been wasted on cosmetics and beauty products. Too much sleep has been lost while I lay awake in bed, recounting conversations from earlier that day . . . or week or month.
4. Dignity. It's that knowingness of my God-given worth and value.
Toni
Married
40's
Cottonwood
ok i just finished posting my answers to questions from cpts 7 & 8 and i was opening itunes on my computer and this song randomly starts playing that i've never heard before.. here are the lyrics:
"One and Lonely" by Superchick
It's not like they meant to hurt me
Watchin TV, checkin Britney, televised, my guys
Checkin out her thighs and I roll my eyes and sigh
It's not like I even need to be competing with unreality TV, fantasy
Not for a smart girl like me
Some days it's hard to be a one girl revolution
CHORUS:
Sometimes I have good days and it's good to be me
Sometimes I get the best of insecurity
And it's quite alright to be the one and only
But today I feel like the one and lonely
It's not that I don't know beauty is only skin deep
Just the skin I'm in, not the girl within
But one imperfection takes away my grin
Not that I think I'm ugly but
Acne throws me for a backslide
I won't go outside
Makeup can't hide how I feel inside
Some days it's hard to be a one girl revolution
CHORUS
(Oh, the one and lonely)
We all have bad hair days
Those nothing good about me days
Just keep moving on cuz they'll be gone
And we'll still be here going on
We have our yesterdays
No lunch cuz the jeans don't fit days
Just keep moving on cuz they'll be gone
And we'll still be here going on
CHORUS:
Sometimes I have bad days and it's hard to be me
Sometimes I get brought down by insecurity
And I have my days where I'm the one and lonely
But today I choose to be the one and only
Yea, I'm the one and only
i just thought it was interesting lyrics from a christian girl living in the brutal culture.
martha
asheville, NC
A) Because God told me too.
B) I want to be free to be me…just me & be ok with it.
C) I have 2 beautiful daughters (9 & 11) that I have to show the way to.
3. Where to begin… its not good. This past weekend my husband served as a minister on a ladies weekend type retreat. The day he left I was a basket case. I was jealous that he was going to be apart of this fabulous weekend. I was envisioning all these women just loving him. Christian love, of course, but still. My insecurities were MAD. Every insecurity that could be triggered was. He is home now and I am fine, but I feel horrible for letting it get to me. I did not feel or KNOW that I am clothed with strength& dignity.
4) still not sure. I've read the chapter twice. Every week I've had that aha moment, but not this week. I'm a little worried about moving on to the next chapter w/o feeling like I got it.
Joy
Tn
Married, 32
3. A recent trigger for me is when I found out my 18yr old and only daughter is sexually active and on BC pills. I plunged so deep into the dark ocean bottom that I didn't come up for air for days…I felt(feel) like a failure and know everyone sees this big "L" on my forehead. But thanks, Beth for the reminder: I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE!
4. Dignity to me means I have serenity and peace amidst the chaos of my life. I am restored and set apart. I am loved.
Mary
Illinois
50’s
Married
Hi Beth and Sisters in Christ,
1. As I look back over chapter 7 to answer this first question, I noticed where I have put lots of stars in red, or the words HUGE or the page dog tailed!! So I will just quote from the book. These remarks hit home for me the most……”the goal of this book: we need to let God shovel us out of insecurity, because without Him, we’re stuck.” And, “He is enthralled with our beauty.” And, “He knows we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary, and not just in spite of where we’ve been, but because of it.” Why these remarks, because I am sick to death of how Satan lies to us and throws us around in our minds. This is just another area that he is being exposed, and NOW the battle begins and he WILL loose!
2. Why it is time to deal with my insecurities:
a. Because I have invited Christ into every inner corner of my life to examine and expose whatever needs to be exposed, dealt with, thrown out, or corrected in my mind to honor and glorify Him.
b. Because I have taken long enough, I feel led by the Lord that it is time for me to give back and use the gifts he has given me, and there is no room for insecurity and the Holy Spirit in the same temple.
c. Because insecurity is UGLY and I am a Princess of the KING!!
3. Oh yes, a trigger! Jealously of another woman’s physical beauty with my husband in the area. Yes it did get a rise out of me. I was not user friendly to her and the light of Jesus did not shine from me to her. And several days later I was to lead a bible study class on “clear conscience.” Well, after conviction from the Holy Spirit and my confession of sin the Lord directed me to send a note of apology to her and ask her forgiveness.
4. Dignity is what will be restored by God when I kick insecurity out of my life.
Well I believe we are turning the corner here. We have seen now what insecurity has done to our lives and our testimonies and now we shall learn how to rid our lives of it and replace it with dignity from Gods word and His great love for us! Do not give up 30 minutes before you hit the finish line…….keep running the race Sisters!!
top three reasons:
1. so God can use me, plain and simple.
2. so my daughter will not inherit my insecurities and hopefully see how I am dealing with them.
3. to have life to the full!
Something that triggered me recently was being left out of some friends plans to go camping this Spring Break. We don't camp, so it is ridiculous for me to think they would think of us-I do think I was able to get over the insecurity of not being invited pretty quickly!:) They are true friends and I hope that I won't even have those thoughts the next time.
Wendy
39, married
CA
I am sitting here overwhelmed w/love of my Heavenly Father and bitter sweet emotions of where I have failed but yet see victories just over the past few days. I can feel and see God changing me and healing some deep areas. Such a long way to go but I am moving toward Him. . .Doesn't it always seem like testing is stronger during those days of closeness to the Father?
1- Chapter 7 was a tough read but I found comfort in knowing I was not alone in those moments of despair. I related to some many of them. I was also reminded of my mom and times where she was 'crazy' with worry, dread, or the thought of – – -.
2-It is time to break the chains that hold me back and for my sweet family to not have to deal w/the
A-loss of security b/c I am secure in Him!!
B-terror of loss-even though we have lost much w/a gravely ill child, loss of significant loved ones the past few years b/c our hope is in Him!!
C-my children will know the worth and beauty they hold in Him!! That security will never change!!
3-gosh, my triggers are many but the let down of high expectations or rather the 'realistic' expectations that I have will be the same as – – -. Not to sit here mad at all and to let it go and forgive immediately. I am NOT crazy for my actions just hurting and wanting someONE to help me and that is only GOD!! Gosh, that sure let's off the hook so many I so want to hold on to. . .must hold onto Him!!
4- dignity: I am God's child, crowned w/righteousness, glory, hope, protection, freedom, purpose and a promise!! NOONE can change that!! IT IS FINISHED! I don't have to live insecure anymore b/c I will live in The Truth!!
Thank you Heavenly Father for loving me through poor choices, attacks out of my control, and so much that before I was here to sin you gave Jesus, Your all for my freedom and life. May my life make You proud and these chains forever be broken for Your glory in my family and for my children for generation after generation. I Praise You Lord for Your new mercy and hope today!!
Jackie
40 soon
Married
Little Rock, AR
39 – PA tlh
1. So as I started writing down my list, I realized that insecurity has been my friend for longer than I wanted to admit. I could identify with about 8 different categories and I truly thought that this was a relavtively new issue for me…apparently I had a lot of false security before.
A.I am tired of living defeated
B. I want freedom
C. I want security in Christ – I'm too old with too many things to do without feeling like I am in high school again!
3. Being talked to by/with my principal or used as an example (even if it is a positive example) I feel embarassed.
4. Dignity means being worthy of common curteousies(I know I spelled this wrong but am not sure of the correct spelling), having value and mattering simply because.
Ashley
Mandeville, LA
38
3 reasons to deal with my security
a. To have a more intimate marriage
b. To have closer friendships
c. To be able to obey God without fear of what anybody will think of me.
My recent trigger was with my mom. She said some things that made me feel like I did when I was 8 years old. I couldn't believe how much her words affected me and my behavior.
I wrote this down from page 159: "To possess dignity is to be worthy of respect." I want to feel respected for who I am.
1. Stories about women and their friendships. I know that I deliberately distance myself from other women sometimes because of my insecurity.
2.
A. Because I am really sick of the really ungodly reactions I have
B. I realize that my insecurities really affect other people (my reactions can set me off and just keep me from being the woman I know God wants me to be in many situations and relationships).
C. I do not want to pass them on to others (I do not want any future children I might get to have to see their mom making a fool of herself because she's so insecure and follow in her footsteps, not to mention the junior high girls I mentor and the students I teach daily).
3. Oh boy, well my husband is a pastor of a large youth group has around 40 leaders who help with it (I am one of them). There is this leader that regularly sends my husband e-mails about her spiritual life and in general overcommunicates. She is probably well meaning, but I know that women are especially attracted to good looking spiritual men in leadership positions (I mean I was obviously) and so I am suspicious. My husband knows that this girl overcommunicates and he respects her, but shows nothing back (he also knows that I can overreact to these situations). Well, recently this girl chose to sit across from me at the table at a leaders meeting (my stomach dropped) and proceeded to interrupt my husband various times while he was talking to share stories about how her students are doing so great, etc. In my mind I honestly wanted to strangle her. I cried on the way home because I was so discouraged with myself and my lack of love (and how I am sure this showed in my demeanor).
4. I am worthy of respect
OOPS! Previous!
Sarah Vint
20's
Married
Iowa
1. chapter 7 open my eyes to see that I am not the only women who makes a fool out her self and who wants to stop acting like a fool.
2. 3 reason to deal with my insecurities are
a. I am not so scared of everything
b. I can love me for who I am
c. I dont fall apart when someone is better or pretty then me.
3. Most of my triggers go off when I am out with my husband and he looks at another girl or when I am around my mother and she starts putting me down then I turn into this little lost girl again
4. Dignity to me is know that I am in Christ and there is nothing in the world to be insecurity about now if only my heart and mind would truly believe this.