So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
Jodi 
I have to confess that I was just a peeping tom here on this topic. I was not at all that insecure…yeah right! LOL! I am running out right now and buying it. The question about what made me sick and tiered of this state of insecurity got me to he heart of it all. I know that I know that I know God called me to do something and no matter the amount of rejection, I am going to do what I know He told me to do. So chapter 8 here I come! Thanks!
Jodi
40's married
Zagreb
In the first chapters, I was really overwhelmed with all the things our sisters have lived through. I know I am insecure but couldn't really claim the roots of insecurity other than pride, because I had a loving family and uneventful childhood.
Of course living overseas has it's share of ways to humble us as Nicci from Belgium shared being scared not to answer a question right in the grocery store. And I think that is what I have felt insecurity was – God's way to humble me. But now I see it is not His way.
So many of the triggers mentioned were so familiar to me. But then to read that God created me for strength and dignity really made me think.
I thought about it at the doctor's today when the nurse scolded me for my son having dirt under his fingernails and I was able to let it go.
I thought about it when I talked with my husband on skype (he's been gone for 2 months in the states) and he made some comments that I wasn't doing things right or that I should try harder and I was so tempted to just give up and cry. But you know I see now that it's just what the enemy wants. What a relief to let it go and decide to move forward with God's strength and dignity. I honestly think my husband was shocked when I talked to him later, because he expected me to brood and cry as I have done before.
I think alot of what I considered to be "humbling me" was just lies to stop God from showing his power. Not anymore – like Beth said in God's strength let's see this through til the end and we can stand as the women we were created to be.
Beth Moore, I just love you to pieces! God has used you so many times to help set this captive heart free, and I can't thank HIM and you enough!
I am writing my first book and it's about overcoming our self-doubts. Right after I signed the contract with my publisher someone told me the title of your book coming out. I prayed I'd be done before it was released so I would not compare and convince myself that there was no need for my book. But due to all kinds of problems my deadline got bumped out to May 1st. And just like I knew I would, I had to buy your book because I love you and wanted to hear what you had to say.
Can I just tell you what you already know – God's timing is perfect! I have faced some intense doubts, uncertainties, confusion and "I can't do this" moments living this message to the nth degree so I can write it. Your heart. Your honesty. Your confidence in God's promise for victory over us girls who are HIS, your insights, stories and willingness to share your doubts has been just what this all-too-often-insecure heart has needed.
I needed this message and so do so many others!!! In fact, I am reading along with you all here and going to give away a copy on my blog soon! Thanks for being a leader in ministry who is willing to be real – your authenticity along with God's truth and grace set me free years ago and I have never been the same.
May He continue to be made famous through you!!
I've never posted before but I felt the need to enter a prayer request here. I am attending a women's retreat this weekend with women I don't know very well. Talk about opportunity for insecurity to rear it's ugly head! I feel it coming on already, so I could use some prayer! Thank you so much for doing this book Beth!! I'm so glad to be joining you all on this journey!
What I found in ch. 7 that hit me was that I was trying hard to be "put together" on my own. That I felt on my own I was mature, godly, focused and that my eyes where on myself. When the feeling of insecurity came I would ask "Where is God?" – now realizing I had left Him behind when I decided to walk on my own.
3 reasons to deal with it,
a- I want to be healed and I am OVER insecurity!
b- I want to be some sort of example for my friends that they too can find freedom in Christ
c- Most importantly because God has called us to be in right relatioship with Him and I want to live obediently.
My recent trigger was when I found out that my name/email address had been accidently removed from my Bible Study Leader's list, I took it personally thinking I talked/emailed too much and she wanted a break.
Dignity means to face each day knowing God goes before me and I can then face whater come my way, and the He esteems me.
Diana
44
Surrey, BC Canada
re-married
Oh, Beth, thank you for the video. Satan has a grip on my emotions and my security and he's loving it. I did exactly as you said — I read enough in the book to get to the bottom of the valley, but I didn't keep going so I could get back to the mountaintop. That, along with other insecurity-feeding issues and happenings in my life and especially in my marriage, has just about dragged me under. Thank you for the encouragement. I'll pick the book back up as soon as I can tonight and pick up where I left off. Prayers for this weary Siesta would be so appreciated.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I really thought you were joking about Chapter 7 :o( until I read
"if you think insecurity makes run-of-the-mill parenting difficult, it can make the challenges of stepparenting nearly debilitating" Oh Beth absolutely!!!!
I met my husband 7 years ago and we've been married almost 5 years. I was 23 – still very immature and trying to find my "place" Being a step mother and second wife is quite possibly the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life! For so many, many reasons – but mainly because I want to be first and I wanted so badly everything they had – because I've always felt like I got the short end of everything! And I have been completely out of my ever-loving mind so many times with this situation with my stepdaughter and her mother – part of me feels I have done everything in my power to work things out with her mother, but in the next thought is "but what about all the things I've done to cause her not to want to have anything to do with me?" It's so draining and I finally told God that I forgave of her of everything she's ever done, but that I also forgive her of everything she will do. It helps me keep some peace in my mind. But it still is down right debilitating at times
Truthfully I haven't been doing the study. I have read it when I first got and And thought that it wasn't for me. (boy, was I wrong)I have been doing the believe god study at church. I got so bad Last night I layed out of church, Thoughts of giving up that I was not worthy of any of this. I am not a new christian. I know that this is what the enemy wants me to do. To just Lay down and not fight some days is so hard. So I come home from work, Watch the message you recorded. I know that it was for me. I know that God started this in me and He will Finish it. I just don't want to me in wondering around 40 years. I am going to start the assignments today and start my life of security of The worthiness god says I am. That I have such a hard time believing. Beth I could never tell you how much my heart thanks you for all you do for helping me in the walk. You are loved,
This is for Jo who posted at 8:28 this morning.
I am so sorry! When I read your post my eyes welled up with tears. My heart went out to you. I have felt what you feel right now. I suffered through years of my husband flirting and behaving inappropriately with other women right in front of me too. But he could not blame alcohol since he was most often sober when he did it. It got to the point where I would just retreat somewhere else so I didn't have to witness it. It was too painful to watch. I didn't have the courage to speak up though so the pain and humiliation just festered and my insecurity increased. I wish I had have been able to speak up earlier. Instead, I just kept asking myself "when will I be enough?" I did finally speak up in a 4 page letter to him because I did not have the courage to face him. Things slowly started to change when he finally put himself in my shoes and realized how hurtful he was being. We will be married 15 years this month and it is only in the last couple of years that things have changed. I thank God for touching our lives in a way I never thought possible. My husband is a different man today. He now cherrishes me and loves me and is so sorry for how he has treated me. I will pray that God touches your husband in the same way. I will pray for you as well. God is a God who sees and he sees your broken heart. He is good and there is no limit to what He is capable of. Take comfort in Him.
Jessica
23
Sulphur, Louisiana
Single
1. I can relate the insecurity of using the bathroom. In my school age I was constantly seeking approve-able from my peers. I heard some of them one time talking about how poohing in a public bathroom was gross, and we need to wait to go home to do something like that. After hearing that, that still to this day I can only pooh in a public bathroom if no one else is in there. A fear that someone will know what I am doing, and think that I am just a disguising person just eats me alive.
2.
a. Time to deal with my insecurities because they are causing an unstable pride issue in my life.
b. My insecurities are making me look like a fool in public.
c. They are triggering an uncontrollable set of jealousy to run through my bones almost everyday.
3. There is a woman I admire, and call a dear friend has recently start hanging out with others more, and me less. It triggers an insecurity that she likes me less or I'm doing something that is making her act this way towards me. (Enough every day God shows me that it is not that way. She is being a great steward of God, and tending to others that he puts in her path. I still get triggered.)
4.dignity = a self value that God shows me how much I am worth (the life of his son that is how much I am worth to him), and can not be alter by other idea's of worth.
I'll get to the homework later but I wanted to respond right away to your video before I forgot.
I too had started reading a little ahead and it was like there was "stuff" overload and was really blue for a few days.
I heard God saying all would be revealed in his perfect time and realized that must be why he had me participate in this as I've never done an on-line study. Some of this stuff is just so hurtful to remember and go back through, that I think a little at a time is better, for me anyway.
So I've stopped reading ahead, and am just gonna chill reading-wise for the next week or so until "you've caught up with me."
I love this and can certainly feel it's making a real difference in my life. But I do also think it's got to hurt in order to get rid of it, so am pacing myself.
THANK YOU Beth, you've made such a difference in me understanding myself over the past year. The good Lord has given me lots of lessons to learn along my journey, but thanks to you and your teaching, I know it's a wonderful journey 🙂 My relationship with Jesus has just grown and grown since I began studying with you!
Christine
40s
Married
Cornelius, NC
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why? The controlling mother. That’s me and that was my mother before me and that was her mother before her. I find myself doing the same thing with my 2 year old daughter with regards to potty training. Of course potty training is not easy but I get so frustrated and somehow feel so insecure when I get the comment, “Your child is not potty trained.” One time I had potty bootcamp and sat with her all day in underpants forcing her to use the potty. (I had hear people that did that) I felt so horrible after that because I could visibly tell I was stressing her out. I’ve since relaxed but we are still trying, but I know as a parent there will be more episodes where I could possibly be the controlling mother. I’m 31 years old and my own mother has some of those tendencies – – I don’t believe it’s something we outgrow but the sooner we recognize, the easier it is for us to handle the situations when they present themselves.
2. Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity.
A) To pursue my passions in life
B) To be more self aware
C) To experience Joy
All of these are inter-related. I have since begun writing again (a passion of mine) and even have some paid writing gigs. Of course I would do it free, I’m so passionate about it. From my writing I have grown spiritually which has led me to seek more spiritual mentors and guidance through teachings from my church and community. The more I seek and read about, the more self aware of who I am as a person. That has led me to write more and the more inspiration I get, the more writing I do, and the more fuel for my passion. Lastly, I have experienced all of this and the unexpected outcome is pure joy. I have never appreciated the happiness in my life until all the events that lead up to right now!
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you. Potty training – – see answer to question 1 above. LOL!
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you? Dignity is tantamount to faith – – true faith not only in God and Jesus Christ but in yourself. Being worthy, honored and esteemed in yourself and not looking to anyone else for that feeling. We own our own feelings.
Tammi
44- Married
Texas
Okay, I haven't read chapters 7 and 8 yet, but after watching the video from Beth today, I had to declare the glory of the Lord. It seemed God directed it right to me. When Beth spoke of a "scab" and then used the verse about looking at our face in the mirror, the Lord certainly got my attention. Here in the midst of reading about security and thinking I'm actually pretty secure – been miraculously delivered of a 14-year battle with an eating disorder, persevered through mother's death from cancer and dad's death from sudden heart attack, and endured in the Word through over seven years of severe problems with prodigal son – God brought a new test – just to let me "see" an insecurity I had ignored. Last Saturday, I was boiling water in a pyrex measuring cup in the microwave, and when I took it out, it exploded in my face. I sustained second-degree burns on pretty much the entire left side of my face, with some worse burns on my left cheek and temple. I've spent much time examining my face the past few days, especially the large scab on my left cheek, wondering if there will be permanent scarring. Needless to say, when you have such a problem, you don't forget what you look like, even when you walk away. Currently, I'm leading Beth's Revelation study with a group of about twenty-three women, and I didn't make it Wednesday morning. I realized I'm a bit too insecure to "face" the public without my proper make-up and a disfigured appearance. You would think that with all the other trials the Lord has brought me through, I could have easily "faced" this one…so, I'm learning some great spiritual lessons from being "burned". Sometimes, when God peels back the layers, we are a bit raw and it definitely hurts, but we have to believe that the healing process will bring us into a better understanding of what it means to be a "new" creation…skin and all!
"May my journey be a blessing. May I rise on wings of faith, and at the end of my heart's testing in your likeness let me wake." Getty's
ministered to my heart today.
Prayed for all the Siesta's on this life's journey.
Sheryl
First of all, thank you Beth for your video. It was such a reassuring thing to wake up to this morning!
1. There were so many that hit me with friendships and such, but the one that makes me shudder would be relationships. I can recall the changes I would make in myself to "become" something for a man that I wasn't. I would always and I mean always be interested in their hobbies and let them consume my life. I can look back and I'm so embarrassed because it just wasn't me, and most of the time I truly despised these things.
2. Top 3 reasons for me to deal with my insecurity
A. I want to feel better about myself.
B. I definitely don't want to pass these things on to my children. (and I know they have seen quite a few of them to date)
C. To improve relationships in every area of my life. As I'm sure this has been the failing of past relationships.
3. I have a family that loves and I can't stress the word "loves" to fight and argue. So much to where I have had to pull myself away from them all. I recently received an email from a family member that triggered me. The internet has been a portal for this fighting nowadays. As it's easier to say things in an email than to the person on the phone or in person. Ever notice that? Anyhow, at first I was enraged and defensive, but realized that this was just a way to get me to try and defend myself in a response. As much as I wanted to and boy did I have some ammo to use, I did not respond and did block the email address also. I felt like I had conquered a demon sort of speak.
4. Dignity to me is a sense of self respect that is inward as much as outward.
Wendy
30's
married
Celina, TX
Thank you for the video! Loved every word. I was "Amening" you every step of the way. Praise the Lord! I feel like I can (WE CAN) all break free from this insecurity! By the way, I feel an overwhelming need to hug so many of you new friends. I read your sweet words and your honesty and I can't believe how HARD we have ALL been on ourselves. Why can't we love ourselves like we love each other. Insecurity, you have been a very bad friend. Hit the road and don't come back, YA HEERYA?!?!
1. The part that hit home with me is that "Insecurity can turn a gifted person into the competition". Yes, that is me. When I feel threatened, I shift into overdrive to be the 'best' so that I don't feel so bad about myself. It doesn't usually work, by the way.
2. My top three reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A. I am tired of everything being a competition where I can never "win".
B. I am tired of beating myself up for never being "enough".
C. I am SICK to DEATH of comparing myself with other women!!!!
3. I recently felt insecure when i received a Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail. I honestly started to feel insecure, but then I brought to mind that my worth is in Christ alone and I threw away the ad so that I would not dwell on it.
4. Dignity means to me that I am someone worthy of respect and that I can honestly look in the mirror at night and respect myself for the woman I am in Christ (cellulite, stretch marks, and all!). Dignity reminds me that God alone knows my heart, my needs, and my faults and it is not up to be to define myself my any other standard.
Renee Swope, God has called you to write that book! Do you know that, when I started researching this material, I could only find FOUR books outside the Bible to use as sources?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? With women in this shape in our culture, we don't have more people speaking to these kinds of needs? I pray that God raises many voices to speak to issues like these and may yours be filled with anointing and great affection. Jesus is so worthy.
Dear TICKLEDPINK4U, thank you so much for writing our sister who posted this morning about her husband coming on to other women in front of her. It nearly broke my heart, too. I had to just stop right there and ponder that pain. Then, to see yours this afternoon! You gave a testimony of great victory and hope. THAT'S what I love most about this community.
Forgot to add….
Melanie
Married
31
TN
I can't believe this, but this is my first week joining in. I've been reading along but have had both the flu and mono and got a bit behind. I'm catching up, slowly but surely, and wanted to chime in this week!
My answers…
2.
a.) Two darlings in my life, MacKenzie and Aviean. MacKenzie is eight; I met her when the ministry I used to direct did an event at a church I had attended a few times while in high school. Her dad was the janitor on duty that weekend and he had a darling four year old running through the church halls. We were doing an event for girls, so I asked if she could tag along with us. That was four years ago and the rest is history. MacKenzie's mom left when she was three months old, so I get the honor of being a female, maternal figure in her life. Aviean, on the other hand, is four. She is the daughter of my cousin and, right now, she lives 75% of the time with me. I never saw this coming, but what a wonderful, wild ride I'm on. Can you imagine being 25 and single as a slice of cheese and getting to basically raise a four year old? I'm in heaven. (Sorry this was so long. I'm new to this whole pretend-parenting thing and don't know when to be quiet about them. On that note, can I pull their pictures out of my purse and show them to you? C'mon, you know you want to see them.)
b. My future generations. I'm not certain that God has it in His plans for me to marry and have children, but if He does, I would like to pass on a lot of things to those probable children and grandchildren of mine. Insecurity, however, is not something I wish to pass on.
c. I'm having a hard time listing this one, but I'm going to bite my lower lip and just put it on here: I want to lose the insecurity for myself. Actually, I'm not sure that I'm even yet at the place where I truly want to do it for myself — but I want to get there. I want to be valuable enough to myself to want to live free from the enemy's schemes.
3. I had a trigger of insecurity just earlier this week. An ex-boyfriend of mine announced that he was dating someone new. While I don't want to be back in a relationship with Him (nor does God want me back with him), there was still a bit of a sting when I thought "Why wasn't I good enough?" It triggered that insecurity (and, if I'm going to be honest, has continued to trigger it) but every single time I feel it rising up, I stomp it back down. My value has nothing to do with my relationship status icon on my Facebook page.
My name is Kerrie, I’m from Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada, and this is my first time posting.
I am 30 years old and single.
I would just like to say that after finishing chapter 7 I was starting to feel insecure about my insecurities! How silly is that! I was starting to think that the issues in my life were not such a big deal as I assumed compared to the horrible things that so many other women are dealing with. That’s when I reached the realizations that this thinking is exactly was Satan wants and I’m sick of it! Insecure about my insecurities? Seriously? No more!
Questions 2 – It’s time to deal with my insecurity because I’m sick of letting Satan steal the freedom and dignity that God has bestowed on me! Secondly, it’s time to remove the insecurities that make relationships with other women difficult and start enjoying the gift that God has given me in their friendship rather than comparing myself to them and coming up short. Lastly, since when did God say that if you are not married by the time you are 30 you are not as valuable as other who have been “chosen” to be married? That is dumb, and if God chooses to give me the gift of singleness I will find strength and dignity in the fact that he has saved me all for himself, and pure virgin bride of Christ!
Questions 3 – Recently a friend questioned my new workout routine. Right away I got the feeling that I don’t know what I’m doing and who am I anyways to think I know anything about exercise? So yes it got a rise out of me in that I felt discouraged. But then during my quiet time I was reminded that not everyone will agree with everything I do, and that it’s ok to have different opinions. So I let that go and continued to pursue my new healthy choices with confidence.
Question 4 – Dignity mean having worth that is unrelated to the standards that I perceive in our culture. It is directly connected to “the certainty of [my] God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that identity away”. Hallelujah!
Elisabeth
Modesto, CA
20s
Single
Beth, THANK YOU for posting the video this morning. I needed that. badly. Thanks for being our cheerleader. I love you.
1.The part of chapter 7 that hit home most was the part about relationships with girlfriends. While I've been a royal mess of insecurity in every area of my life, this is the biggest area. I do the envious, moments-of-temporary-insanity thing with my friends all the time. It has ruined many relationships and severely damaged others. The ones that are still alive only manage to be because I keep my mouth shut when it rears it's ugly head now. (Although this doesn't solve the insecurity if you're still feeling it and sitting around stewing in misery and lies the enemy would have u believe about yourself.)
2.Top 3 reasons
(In no particular order):
a. Because insecurity has caused me to act out in ways contrary to who I am. And I'm tired of it. No more embarrassment. No more looking back on my actions with shame. No more hurting others. No more being fat because I let insecurity turn me to food. I want to be me, NOT insecure me.
b. Because it's time to live the life I was meant to. God has wired me uniquely and specifically and called me to full-time ministry. He has told me this over and over and over. One of the major reasons I'm 27 and working a minimum-wage job is because I have allowed insecurity to rule every area of my life. As long as it does, I'm not ready for a position like that. And until the last few weeks, I purposely set myself up for failure. I was afraid I'd fail if I allowed myself to be elevated to any kind of influential position. And I was afraid of what others will think of me if I begin my ministry. (I'm meant to be a teacher/speaker. And it scares the crud out of me.) But I need to, I finally WANT to, grasp the future God has planned for me.
c. Because I want to push the limits. I want to see how far God lets me go, how much power the Holy spirit will allow me to operate in, how many people I could possibly influence with His truth. How can I operate at whatever my fullest power and potential are, how can I have that kind of intimacy with the God of the Universe if I allow insecurity to take over? I can't have both things operating!
3. Just this week, in fact, I ran smack into insecurity desperately trying to sink it's claws into me as a result of the actions I've been taking with this book. My best friend and I were going to hang out for a few hours one afternoon. I had been looking forward to it for 2 days, filled to the brim with thoughts and processing about the book and the Breaking Free study I'm in. I couldn't WAIT to talk all about what God's doing in me. Well, her husband got off work early and she texted me that we'd have to hang out some other time. I flipped out. I got so angry and said some very mean things, trying to make her feel bad about ditching me. I was livid. Then, all of a sudden and out of the blue, I saw it. I saw what was happening. I called her right away and explained that insecurity was causing a whole thought process of lies about how she feels about me. I explained that I still need to learn not to allow it any authority, and that I was wanting attention and to talk about these studies with someone who knows me well. And I told her to have a good night with her husband and enjoy herself. It was sad that I allowed it to creep up now that I understand it. But seeing it is progress.
4. This is the first time I've ever said something like this. (I've never believed it before)…
To me, dignity means that I AM worthy of respect. That No matter WHAT I've done in the past, I can hold my head high and it's okay for me to want others to treat me as a Daughter of the Living King. Woah!! That feels amazing to proclaim!!! I think some freedom occurred in writing that!
I didn't answer today's questions in the prescribed manner, but that's okay. I have a confidence to color outside the lines that I didn't know I had.
What part hit home the most…? What part didn't? And then scrolling through the posts, other siestas brought up things I had forgotten. I must be a real mess if I am identifying with so many insecurities. It's okay to be a big mess. I'll just let it all hang out, and then I will know what my weaknesses are so I can fortify myself with God's grace and strength. It was scarey to see all of this at first, but now it's kind of funny. How dare Satan think he can fool all of us with the same crappy stuff? Boy, is he going to be mad, and come back at us. But we are clothed in strength and dignity now. I feel like a warrior!!!! Can the siestas have a war cry?
1) A. Veiled Vision to how blessed I am – I'm surrounded by lots of wonderful people who tell me how much I'm loved and wanted, yet I just down believe them. B. Weighs heavily with weight issues – because I weigh heavily.
2) A. I'm fed up. The wound is deep and nasty (no doubt infected) and in need of the Physician.
B. It's hindering my relationship with others, as well as God. I'm not living to my full potential with this poisonous hinderance.
C. I want to be better. I want to stand secure. I want to believe that I'm worthy. I want to know the dignity that I posses!
3) It actually came from my boss. He said something about me to a handfull of people that had no business being said. It cut me down in front of those people – therefore attacking who I was. I wanted with everything in me to tell him off about everything wrong that he had said and done. By the grace of God I kept my mouth shut, and it eventually all worked out and those wounds healed.
4) Dignity = Honor. Respect. It makes me think of a "dignatary." Someone who we should highly regard. We esteem them worthy of something – be it an office or a crown. (I'll take that crown in Proverbs…).
Sarah; 26; Port St. Joe, FL; Single
I saw the Oprah show yesterday with Jessica Simpson and I was thinking "That has EVERYTHING to do with what we've been talking about the past few weeks!" I've been praying for God to open my eyes and help me be more aware/sensitive to others' insecurities as well as praying for healing in my own insecurities. I've been praying for you ladies here in Siestaville and prayed for all of the women on that show yesterday. Let's not let the enemy have reign any longer!! I'm ready to be free, what about you!!??? :o)
Liz
23
Federal Way, WA
I told my friend who is reading this book with me that I probably wouldn't ever add an answer to this blog. But, God has been cementing the answers to these questions in me for the last couple weeks! So, here I am! (Bam! God is already helping me stand against insecurity!!)
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities:
*My soul is yearning to live as who God has made me to be. My soul is tired of living as the woman Satan tells me I am not.
*So I can love my family, future children and teen girls in my life the way Christ loves. Christ loves courageously, not out of insecurity.
*My hubby and I are tired of me resorting to my dark closet to hide from my insecurity's overwhelming stench…Sadly, this is sometimes literal. I want to go outside and smell that fresh air!!!
Tried to follow earlier advice to click link under the video to see it, and our school filters blocked it, stating it was "R rated". Wow. Sure it can't be, but thought that was funny!
Janae
Riverside,PA
40's
Married
1. How many of our lives are oh so similar and how much my life could be even more powerful for Christ if I left go of insecurity.
2. A. I have begun to realize all addictive behaviors,big and small are a result of insecurity and are not glorifying to my King.
B. Oh to be completely FREE this side of heaven.
C. Everyone in my life will be better off if I am secure in Christ.
3. Any time I am in a group of women, I begin to want to fade into the woodwork. Still happens.
4. Dignity now means that I am worthy of respect because God created me in His image. Period. It isn't tied in to all the good/bad things in my life.
Thank you Beth, for this life changing book!!!
Thank you Beth.
O Miss Beth ~ Thanks so much for the video what an encouragement. Praise the Lord I do want to do it, press pass my discouragment and let my Gracious Father heal me!
Reading these next two chapters was quite a challenge because I did not want to face myself. I did not want to admit that I too, did much of the things that I was reading and how could I allow myself to do them. Thank God for his redeeming love!
Dignity means to me that I can look in the mirror and really like what I see. Me, and all the imperfections that go along with me. I am okay and on my way to ridding myself of the deep roots of insecurity.
I want to deal with insecurities because I am tired of it ruling me. I want to be able to walk tall and not hide from people. I want to walk down the street and just smile because I can.
My most recent trigger is today actually. I am planning a nice dinner for our 5th year anniversary tomarrow. We decided to stay home due to limited finances and have a quiet celebration. However, after my shopping, menu planning, re-arranging furniture, I don't feel like the evening will be a success. Darn that drive to present a sense of perfection! I walked around in Wholefoods for hours trying to settle on what I had in the basket was good enough and telling myself to "stick to the plan". Tired and worn from the mental battle I am now home and have resolved that tomarrow will be a great day for us.
Dawnn
Maryland
42
Emily
35
Portsmouth, England
Married
1. The part of Chapter that hit home to me is insecurity as a parent.
2. a) Because I beleive that God has a purpose for my life – and I want everything he has for me so that I can bring Glory to him.
b) I have two small Daughters. I feel so privaledged that God gave me the chance to raise Godly young Women and the thing I want more than anything is for my 'messed-upness' not to be passed down.
c) I think that dealing with my insecurities will do my marraige the world of good.
3. A recent trigger that did get a rise out me was when I was introduced to someone at church with the words 'This is Emily, she is a real charecter' It bothered me at the time, and if I am honest it bothers me now. I am so different in personality to all my Christian friends and sometimes I wish I fitted the mould.
4. Dignity – means to me, being comfortable in my own skin and being able to hold my head up high in stressful situations.
1) The one that really hit home for me is: Insecurity can keep us from accepting complements and,far worse,from accepting love. I had a step father who I thought the world of, when he left my family it left me devistated. How can I believe something someone says(for example a complement)when people I have loved so much walk out on me.I don't know how to recieve complements let alone know if they are genuine.
2) A. I am over carring it with me
B. It is not who I am anymore
C. It has had a hold on me long enough
3) Someone looked me up on facebook and saw who I was and am married to and I started freaking out because I am a different person today than I was when my folks were going through their divorce. She didn't know me but had heard some half true stories about me and it made me feel so hoorible inside,like I don't deserve this awesome life God has blessed me with because of bad choices I had previously made in my life.
4) Letting God complete me and not feeling like I am not worthy of completion.
Cassie
20's
Bishop,Ca
Okay Miss. Beth I know I missed the Thurs. morning dead line for the session three post, but doctors appointment for a little boys mysterious illness have kept me busy! Oh, the little man is doing okay, not to make anyone worry.
I just want to add that my roots are instability in the home and I'm still a little puzzled by this as I was raised in a 2 parent home without abuse. And rejection is the other root, well there's pride too.
Is anyone else ready for God to burn these roots in HIS burn pile?? I am!
Erika
30's
Albany, OR
Married
Cyndi
50's
Married
Wilmington
1. Top 2 primary roots:
1)Instability in the Home (as a child)
2)A Significant Loss
2. he knows it's scary to be me – He made me – I am not my parents – He will take care of me!
Sadly, I can’t see the video. My computer won’t allow it. I am still on dial-up internet.
Q1. Pages 142 – 143 hit home to me most when you started stating over and over “God knows…” Why? God knows everything we have thought, felt, done and not done and it will all somehow be used for His glory.
Q2. Three reasons why I personally need to deal with my insecurities:
A. It is God-ordained (I didn’t even know I had an insecurity issue until I started reading this book).
B. To please God (He has put this book into my hands for no other reason at this time).
C. For more freedom to do the work He has laid out in front of me to do (wife, my job, Bible studies, etc.).
Q3. I can name several “triggers” from this past week, but here are two. First, a very dear and beloved friend was quite distant the other night at Bible study. Second, I had a friend at work miss-understand me when I told him I was leading a study “out of Isaiah” (he thought I said alliaosaba), and I had to assure him I wasn’t speaking Hebrew and repeated myself (he blamed it on my accent). Did these things get a rise out of me? No. I laughed at my friend at work, and for my friend in Bible study; I prayed my heart out for her. I meant what I said last week about rationalizing rejection; I am NOT doing it any more.
Q4. What I picture in my head is that dignity stands upon a being that has high moral standards and has not faltered from them – a reputation that has nothing but good.
Teresa
Bardstown, KY
30’s Married
That was the fastest I have every read a LONG chapter. It was so interesting that I was through it before I knew it. It might have been the fact that I have been in so many of the same traps as my Siesta's and have felt the same pain and embarrassment in many of those situations.
1)Insecurity can be a relenteless robber. Too often I have held back doing or saying something I felt God wanted me to because I was afraid of blowing it. Also it causes me to want to retreat and hide.
2) A. God wants me to reflect His Son and His image, not what the Devil traps me into thinking I am or am not.
B. My greatest desire is to have my own 29 yr old daughter walk in the truth of security in HIM. We saw your book in Barnes & Noble and she said "that's one thing I don't think I deal with." I said oh honey just read the book and you will discover just how insecure we women are and don't even realize it.
Her response, "Maybe I shouldn't, I'm not sure I want to know."
C. I want to be all that God sees that I can be through Him. I want to say "I win!"
3) Dignity is being able to wear that crown God has placed on my head and wearing it with the same humility and mind set that Ph.2:5-8 says we are to have.
4)Sunday night I took my daughter, her husband & another young lady to visit a new church targeting college age kids. I am trying to get them involved. Being in the midst of all young people and knowing what to say and how to act started to trigger insecurity. I had to get a grip as I felt I had said something dumb to a greeter and then requesting my son in law do something I knew he was already aware of. Oh that ugly feeling came over me and I quickly headed to the bathroom trying to escape any more humility. I came back recompossed where I worshiped my God with praise in song and a with a joyfull heart. I am learning to take those triggers captive and hand them right over to the One who can and wants to deal with them.
Sandy
Deming, NM
Married
50's
Hey Beth!!
I'm not in texas with you :)…well at least not physically…but spiritually for sure!!! I'm following along in good ol' NC.
A) Because I spend wayyyyy more time counting which girls have more facebook posts in one day then I do, etc. and I was/AM tired of wasting precious time!
B) Because whenever I compared myself to other girls I always (no matter who it was) came up short…and I was/AM tired of being discouraged. I want to think I am great and one of a kind :).
C) Because I want to be beautiful not only on the outside but secure in my beauty through and through on the inside. To have that strength!
3) I gave up facebook for Lent…so that I could break myself of this habit of comparing myself (facebook to a college girl is probably the devil's strongest weapon on this planet…seriously). Unfortunately, the other day I got an email about this one girl I always mentally compete with…and I broke down and logged on. As usual, when I had done the damage I felt guilty, discouraged, and like I would never measure up. But…then I realized that I had given in this time, but there were so many more times when I was STRONG. I loved being able to shake it off and think I can do this! So, I have been keeping 2 Timothy 1:7 at the forefront of my mind. Much love Beth. I hope you don't mind I kind of think of you as a second Mom, my first one is absolutely AWESOME…but I adopted you too :). Anyways…I guess the first step is knowing the trigger and from that its a journey out of that danger zone!
1. Insecurity exploded with rejection and twisted my per-
ceptions, which made me do
things I didn't even want to
do, which was a relentless robber
to me!!!! Whoa! Insecurity sent
me into the arms of many unhealthy
male relationships. Thank God He
freed me from these types of
insecurities 11 yrs ago. I married
a Christian man, whom I thought would be the answer to all my Love needs & make me secure. Didn't happen that way. I found myself with someone who had more insecurity issues
than I did. God is so gracious!!!
He opened my eyes to see that He
is the one who is the answer to my Love needs & it is HE and only HE
who can make me secure!!! All the years I spent trying to measure up,
My Savior showed me I had already measured up. He is ALL SUFFICIENT!!! It's to the glory of
My Gracious, Wonderful Father that
my husband and I are still together.
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my
insecurites.
A. To live the life God intends
me to live-in His abundant grace
B. To be able to intercede in prayer for my husband & daughters,and others who are being
fooled by the lies the enemy brings.
C. Stop the triggers in there tracks, so they don't trigger me!
4. Dignity is living and breathing
the truths, that We have been set
free, and We are loved by our Father, who adores us & delights in us. As a result, we are confident and sure
women who live as we are forgiven, loved daughters of the Most High, Who makes us strong in our weaknesses. Dignity is letting the glory of our Savior shine through us, so that He'll be revealed in us!
Beth, in respose to your encouragement and challenge, here are some words the Lord has given me – this today
Dt 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will DRIVE OUT YOUR ENEMY (INSECURITY) before you.
and this from our study –
Psm 112:8
She wiil have no fear bad news
her heart is steadfast
trusting in the Lord.
Her heart is secure,
she will have NO FEAR
In the end she will look in triumph on her foes.
and this blessed assurance is becoming mine-
Dt 33:12
Let the beloved of the Lord
rest secure in Him
for He shields her all day long and
the one He loves rests between His
shoulders – A Holy hug!
My new name is No Fear
Homework #4 still in the work stage.
Julie, 62, married, Boone NC
her heart is secure,
she will have no fear
In the end she will look in triumph on her foes.
#1. The part that hit home was "it's better to stay quiet and be thought a fool than to speak rashly and remove all doubt." I have done this. I react to what someone has said instead of responding in a normal voice & manner.
#2. A. I am nursing grudges towards some men in my family and it is exhausting and debilitating.
B. My insecurities keep me from serving God. It is snuffng out my gifts. pg. 15
C. I need to be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser. God alone is in charge of my destiny.
#3. A recent trigger was this week during a phone call with someone. I tried to say what they wanted to hear and I apologized for saying what I perceived to be the "wrong thing." It diminished my self worth and I felt guilty and foolish.
#4. Dignity. I love your words that I am a God-clothed woman of valor. I have worth because I have divine power in Jesus Christ. I am worthy of respect. I love that. I want to say it every day. "I am worthy of respect."
Thanks Beth for the little video. What a nice surprise when I logged on this morning. It made the Bible Study more personal. Thank you for your encouragement!
Marlene age 61
Married from Michigan
To "Anonymous" painter whose birthday is March 5th! I, too am a painter. I am praying for you. Read the book as you can…and by all means go ahead and cry – I am crying with you – You are so loved by every woman on this blog because we all go through the same things. Motor through as you can and write to me when you are blue. We can get through this together! [email protected]
I have to pop back on. This morning I wrote about finding my story in Chapter 7. Having my story in there has been piercing my heart. I feel so exposed even though I am mostly certain none of you know who I am. I don't regret sharing it for the sake of the book, but I so regret sharing it on another level… But then I picked up the book again this afternoon and began reading again and really pondering someone else's story and then accidentally moved onto my story without intending to. All of a sudden the sting was gone. And I first found my story there back in early February. I've been sick about it lurking there in the book ever since. Not only so, but I guess I was finally able to think and read clearly enough this time to take in what Beth wrote just following it and it was so ministering. Wow. Someone here in Siestaville must've been praying for me today. It's been a day!!! The memories and consequences are not all gone, but at least the book has lost some sting. That is a big thing.
Carol
Albuquerque NM
Single
52yrs soon to be 53yrs March 10th
Chapter 7
A frienship at work because I thought my boss was my friend I felt like I had to act a fool to keep her liking me and felt like I had to tell her things about me so she would like me.
A. For myself and my well being
B. To be free from insecurity would mean a whole lot
C. Not to have to worry about when I am invited to a family gathering about what people are thinking of me.
3. About my boss calling me into the office. When she did call me into the office which was alot I stared shaking inside and always felt like I done something wrong and always felt why am I being blamed for things that were not my fault.
4. Dignity would mean to be able to look at myself in the mirror and say I am lovely because God made me and that I am beautiful no matter who thinks what. To have dignity wrapped around my head like a crown to banish fear and doubt because God is with me wherever I go.
Thank you Sweet Seista Mama you are awesome thanks for taking care of this seista.
Bertie from Houston….you just made me laugh till i cried…. 🙂
Tami
DS,LA
40s, married
1. Sadly, I relate to many of the examples of how insecurity makes a fool out of us. I am more and more aware that the real root is PRIDE. We are so self-absorbed! Even if our self awareness is negative, it is still PRIDE.
I really appreciate the words of encouragement at the end of Chpater 7. "He has enough security for both of us, and for those of us who call Christ Savior, He slipped His own secure Sprit within our simple jars of clay. It is in you to be secure."
2.
A. I don't want to be a fool anymore.
B. I don't want to miss anything God has gifted or empowered me to do.
C. I'm ready to stop being self-absorbed!
3. My trigger was a bad hair cut…and I walked around in self-loathing every single time I saw myself in a mirror or picture for the last several months. It's so silly, but so hard to not let that trigger get the best of me. The truth is, I liked my haircut, but my husband didn't. Knowing he didn't like it made me feel very insecure about everything! My whole attitude and outlook changed because he didn't like my hair.
4. I'm convinced I haven't got a clue what dignity means, but I'm asking God to reveal it to me. I see the words on the page, but I'm not grasping what they mean to me, personally. Chapter 8 tells me that I am worthy of respect, no matter how foolish I feel, because God Himself gave me dignity when He made me in His image.
Beth,
You know, it's really kinda funny. I knew I had some insecurity issues before I read this book, but now I realize I had more. God's really been on me about these things this week, too. He's got me reading this book, then He bombards my BlackBerry in the AM with devotional emails that yap at me about how I can become more secure in Christ. I'm really starting to think that He wants me to be secure. Which is a total switch to how I have lived my life until recently.
1) I TOTALLY make a fool of myself in female relationships. THAT'S SOOOO ME RIGHT NOW!! My two best friends and I (we are acutally doing this study together, and I sure hope I have the chance to talk to them about this before they read it on here- oops, there goes some insecurity) have been friends for about a year now. And I've got this messed up paranoia that they like each other better than they like me. (It's not like it would matter anyways.) As I've given the issue some thought I realized that it, like many of the other passages, is REALLY irrational. Then I thought about some other insecurities that I have and realize that they, too, are irrational. And somewhat stupid. I can't believe that I've bought into these lies for so long. They are soooo stupid! And did I mention irrational? And they make me do stupid stuff; which I really hate. I'm sick of it!
2)I've got to get over my insecurities for the following reasons: (a) It's LOOOONNNNG past time!!!! Too, long really. Twenty some-odd years too long. (b) If I want to become half the person that I know I can be, I've got to quit hiding behind this fascade of insecurity. And, (c) I can't keep doing this to myself. It's driving me crazy worring about what everyone thinks of me. Who cares really? I'm tired of waisting energy and time on issues that are not producing any fruit. It keeps me from my blessings.
3) My most recent trigger was reading chapter 7. I saw myself in so many of the passages it made me want to hide under my couch. I mean, I thought that maybe I wrote them in my sleep! Oh- and it's got a rise out of me, alrihgt! I'm ready to tackle this ugly thing head on with all I've got and the Army of God that's got my back! BRING IT ON, INSECURITY! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A CAN OF WHOOP-A!
4)I currenly have no definition for diginity. :*( I grew up in an environment that didn't have any dignity, so I wouldn't know it if it slapped me across the face. I figure that it will be whatever God wants it to be in me. It will be His surprise to me. 🙂
Hope this wasn't too long for you (and hopefully you got a couple of chuckles out of it, I know I did 😉 .)
Elaine
married
20 something
Jefferson, GA
Theresa
50 decade
Married
Alabama
Hey Beth…just watched your video for this week. I taught Sunday School a few weeks ago on the scripture from James that you read. James tells us that we must go about the work of Jesus…serve, give, help, and on and on. I have to say that getting up before your peers to teach can be very humbling and believe you me, I've had to overcome some insecurities in order to do that. OK…I'm getting ready to read chapters 7 and 8 and will leave my answer comments when I'm done Love you!
Joyce
Cyril, Ok
50's
In Chapter 7_Rejection and Friendships has been my secret insecurity. I feel like I do not belong, I am worthless, I am not a friend that can join in with a group of ladies and they listen to what I say, because I am not important enough to listen to_what I have to say does not matter.
No one is interested in the same things I am or they do not have time for Bible study etc.
You would not believe how much I have prayed and ask God to help me.
I am leading a Bible study with a group of women now and feel so ashame that I am feel I am not good enough. I am leading a brunch in April so I can make new friends and share God's Word. But, inside I feel like I am sinking.
God knows me and I am praying He will take my insecurity and grant me confidence in Him. His power can change me.
The reason I think God wants me to change is so I do not get discouraged and depressed_trust in Him to lift me up.
My biggest trigger is rejection.
Dignity to me would be not to be sensitive to what others say or think about me and remember what God thinks about me. To be able to not take what is negative and hurtful__so deep into my heart.
Anonymous :0/
40's
Married
1. Insecurity has plagued me in many ways as long as I can remember, as it seems to have a lot of women. We act so not oursleves when insecurity rares its U-G-L-y head. I have found myself acting like an idiot in a female friendship. The e-mail story; I had that same thing happen to me several times.
Then there is the BFF that brings another of her firends to tag along, and then there are three of you…three never works…I'm always the one who gets left out.
Why does it hit home most?
It shows me I am not alone, and it is not the way
I'm to live abuntly.
2.Top 3
A.It has dealt with me way too long. I hate the way it makes me feel.
B. I want my kids esp. my girls to see their moomma as a person who is comfortable in her own skin…not a big insure dufus.
c.Insecurity has been a major part of every area in my life. I deal with fear and anxioty, now I am beginning to see that insecurity may be a root in that or visa versa, I'm even insecure in writing this answer 'cause It may be wrong. And now y'all will now I have fear and anxioty issues…well…darnit,maybe admitting this will help me in kicking its hiney.
3. I have a friend that is going through a rough time, we have had lunch a few times, for the past few months, and I wanted to call her and see how she was doing. She rerely answers my e-mails, or returns calls, but when I see her she tells me to call or send her an e-mail. I can't help but think maybe she dosent want to hang with me, but she is the one who invited me to lunch the last time, and she wanted to have an accountability partner, but I can't help wonder if she is just saying that. say it with me insecurity!
Am I insecure in my answers? yeap. Am I avoiding question 4 'cause I don't have an answer that I think is correct, yeap.
I think I'll reread chap 8.