So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
Sherrie 
Karen
51, married
Tennessee
1. It is an important part of Chapter 7 for me to be reminded that "insecurity can be a relentless robber". How many things I have missed out on because of my insecurities……as I look back it makes me sad but also determined to change this in the VERY NEAR future.
2. Three reasons it is time to deal with my insecurities:
a) to really embrace my role as a very special child of God
b) to free me to live the time God has entrusted to me "abundantly, effectively, powerfully, and pricelessly". (pg. 95)
c) to set a good, positive example for my very insecure daughter
3. The most recent trigger of my insecurity….weight issues! On a recent trip to the Bahamas we were going to participate in a dolphin encounter. In order to do this we had to wear wetsuits. The man looks at me and starts walking down a rack of wetsuits hanging smallest to largest….and he kept on walking & walking & walking & walking for what seemed like an eternity (although in reality the entire rack was probably only 20 feet long). Right before he reached the END of the rack he hands me a suit and says " I think this fit you…."! If it had not fit I certainly would not have let ANYONE know!! (I am a size 14…are all wet suits a size SUPER SAMLL !?!? ) And YES it did fit and yes it got a rise out of me because as you so beautifully stated in chapter 5……I have a "hypersensitive disposition"! I FEEL EVERYTHING !!!!!!
4. God loves me and he "knows it is scary to be me". He wants me to take pride in who I am as child of God created in His image.
Wow! This was a hard one for me this week. My father has been in the hospital but yet I still felt "pressure" to keep on top of this study. A little insecurity about feeling like I couldn't get it "all" done.
1. what part of ch.7 hit home w/ me & why? "Insecurity can cause a mome to be overcontrolling or just gereally out of control" This has been my achilles heel these last few years with my 19 yr old son.
2. Personal top 3:
a) God keeps showing me that He wants me to deal with it once & for all.
b)I feel like I'm stuck or spinning my wheels in my life, like I just can't move forward until I confront this.
c) So my "self-worth" as a person won't continue to be tied to my son.
3. A recent trigger of insecurity has been my son's failure in college & his rebellion. It has caused me to feel like a failure as a mother, like I have not "accomplished" parenting.
4. Dignity means to me: Strength to stand when everything around me feels like it spinning apart.
FYI…..seeing Beth's video, I had to watch it twice because the first time instead of listening to you…I was checking out your hair, your makeup, your clothes….wishing I could look like you! If I could just have it all together like Beth…then I'd be happy.
Little insecurity & envy rearing it's ugly head! 🙁
Sherri
Perryville,MO
41
Single
1. Biggest eyeopener in Chapter 7 for me: Insecurity explodes with rejection and can twist our perceptions. Could have written that one myself. Any closed door for me, feels like personal rejection ever since!
2. Three reasons to say goodbye to my insecurities: A. My son, he is my joy and my life. I want more than anything to be a better role model for him. I grew up not being secure in who I was, I want him to be know humble security in Christ.
B. Along the same line, I see young women that I have taught dealing with the same insecurities I face. Some twenty or more years older and I hear their comments and think, "those are my thoughts too; Lord, please help me stop the cycle!"
C. I want to live the life God wants me to live. I think of my son and how much I want to see him happy beyond anything I have know. How my Father must want even more for me?
3. Let's see, most recent incident and how did I react. That would have to be Valentine's Day. I felt like every television ad was pointing me out and saying "except for you, you have no man in your life". I had one ex-boyfriend call to tell me he was getting married and a second to ask me to come over and meet his new girlfriend, they were concerned I was alone on V-day. It was the closest thing I ever want to experience on this side of hell!! Yea, I handled it well. Once again, like after my husband left me, I felt my whole worth was based on the fact that I have a man who loved me; and if I don't, I am nothing!
4. Dignity is knowing your true worth in Christ. Through His sacrifice I am made right with God and I am a joint heir with Chirst. I am righteous and perfect in God's eyes. I am second to none!
OK — it's time to deal with my insecurity because:
a. it's cost me far too much in my life
b. God has something far better for me
c. it keeps popping up!
And then talk about repetitive patterns! Just yesterday after Bible study I retreated and withdrew (again) because I feel like such an outsider. The trigger? Just seeing women in little groups afterward, chatting it up, and not being included and not feeling like it's appropriate to intrude. (of course, that may be plain old ugly pride on my part).
Dignity means I can look at myself as God does, clothed by Him and not ashamed. It means I don't have to focus on myself — I'm freed to focus on others.
I can't thank you enough for putting this together, Beth. Thank you for letting God use you in our lives!
Sue
Grand Rapids, MI
50's
Married
1. Reframing the situation like I wanted it or deserved it, omgosh! I've never thought I had any right to call it a crime b/c I talked myself into deserving it to deal with it. Insecurity has kept me from things and I've settled more than I like to admit in this life,especially from trying new things, it does rob me from even new found confidence in God and from HIS Word!
A. Freedom
B. Healing
C. Confidence and Security in God to be who He has made me to be.
3. I was teased constantly when I was young because I was so overweight, even abused without any defense or help from other students/adults. When I witness injustice exactly like I experienced as a child its a trigger that goes off in me and I just loose it. Its almost like I am taking vindication for all the wrongs that was done to me! I began to see this a few years ago when situations arose with my children but the process is so slow on your own, thank you again 4 writing this book dear one!
4. Dignity to me is walking/living in the position Christ saved me to be in. To know who I am and what God has given me and to care less and less about what people think because I am secure in my King and what HE thinks is most important!
Becky, 31, Littleton, CO, married
WHATʻS HIT HIM THE MOST & WHY?
I over-communicate, or at least want to, all the time. I donʻt admit when I donʻt know and thought I did it to keep the other person from feeling awkward, when really, itʻs my own insecurity! Imagine that! And I almost always make the talent my competition. These 3 things surprised me when I realized how often they happen in my daily life. Itʻs truly been a bad friend to me.
TOP 3 REASONS WHY ITʻS TIME TO DEAL WITH MY INSECURITY:
1. Iʻm so stinkinʻ tired! It takes too much energy, effort, and head and heart space to "cover up" my insecurities and itʻs giving me a headache. Literally.
2. I want and need deep female friendship. And jealousy and competition and fear keep me from having it.
3. I want my son to learn to be secure in the Lord, able to freely love others, and live with dignity. So I better learn how to do so myself!
1. In Chapter 7 you wrote that God has enough security for me and He has slipped His own secure Spirit within my jar of clay. It is a picture I bring to mind often when I see or feel a trigger.
2. Top 3 Reasons:
A. I'm exhausted of bearing the burden of insecurity. I've lived my whole life with the underlying current of "I'm not enough" running through my mind. It has led me to a place where the striving, working, trying, agonizing rob me of joy. I'm ready to let go of the desire to look perfect, since I'm not perfect on the inside.
B. My mom is emotionally broken and damaged. She also bears the weight of insecurity & is still in denial. I want so much for her to come to a place of honesty and acceptance. The Lord is a healer not a punisher!
C. It is time to grow. I feel like I am finally awake and hearing the Holy Spirit's call to my wounded heart. I want to move to the next step with Him. It's time to heal and grow.
3. My most recent trigger was with a group of friends. I became so paranoid one of them was upset at me, that I asked about 4 times if this person was mad. A dear friend finally said, "You are not repsonsible for other people's feelings." That stopped me cold with a great word of truth!
Shannon
30's
Married
California
Bonnie
Williamsburg,VA
40's
Married
1. Chapter Seven – the section on Insecurity can turn a priceless daughter of God into a Bootlicker is the section that really spoke to me especially the sentence. . . In order to avoid having to deal with the fact that we've been violated, sometimes we will reframe a situation, making ourselves out to be free agents who wanted it. That whole paragraph rattled me because I have been deep in that pit and know its surroundings so well.
2. Top three reasons to deal with my insecurities are:
A. Freedom in Christ so I can get my eyes off of me and on Him.
B. Want to be an open vessel and be able to do the will of God in my life
C. I am tired of carrying around this baggage and having triggers chain me back down. I want to know how to deeply love God and walk with Him.
3. What triggers my insecurities is when my extended family e-mails or calls. I feel judgement, disapproval and that I will never be good enough. The critical spirit is so hard to live with and makes me get very defensive and want to retreat and hide.
4. I really enjoyed chapter 8 especially the breakdown of. . . She is clothed with strength and dignity. Dignity means more to me now because of learning that God Himself gave it to us. Dignity to me is respect, honor and has a royal elegance to it. I really liked the imaginary of God putting it on our heads and wrapping it as a crown around my mind. I need to remember that when the tiggers of insecurity attack!
Elizabeth, Charlottesville, single, 20s
1. Chapter 7 brought back floods of memories of all the things I did and still do simply because of my insecurity. It reflects the weight we put on the opinions of other people and not in God.
2. A. I'm tired of not doing things because of my insecurity. I know I am missing out on life because I'm so worried about what others around me think that it is just easier to sit it out.
B. I'm single in my mid-20s. I want to get married and have a family one day, but I realize that my insecurities will just be magnified in marriage and parenting. I want to deal with these insecurities now, so I am not looking for security in a husband or kids.
C. So far in this book, what has hit home with me the most is the problem of pride in my life. Since starting this book, God has been showing me the ugliness of my own pride, and I want to be rid of it, along with my need for perfection.
3. Recently at work, I haven't gotten much encouragement from my boss and some days I feel like I am constantly failing. And I am just certain everyone else thinks I'm failing too, so an email from my boss or even when he goes off to have a side conversation, I believe it's about something I've done wrong and I just fall into this pool of insecurity.
4. I used to think dignity was about being able to show your face at church or at home because you were doing the right thing, and losing your dignity meant shame and embarassment. But chapter 8 gave me a new perspective that dignity is from God and makes us worthy of respect.
Krystle
20's
Married
Southern Oregon
*Question Two: Three reasons I've got to get my insecurity under control.
A- Because I cannot flourish in Christ if I don't (oh boy, does there even have to BE any other reasons?!)
B- Because my amazingly patient husband can't be my all, and I need to get a grip on this for his sake as well!
C-Because my kids are going to need an example. I better get a hold on this before they are old enough.
*Question Three: Recent Trigger for insecurity
Oh goodness, yes. Just putting on clothes every day triggers it. (Does this count) I'd rather stay in sweats all day because I'm comfortable. Putting on my jeans tells me that "nope, havn't lost any more." And that sets me in a tailspin and if I was headed somewhere, I usually find an excuse not to go. Sigh…including church most weeks. AND…I'm a pastors wife. 🙁
*********************************
My issue is that I used to be a certain size. And I thought I was fat. Oh heavens, what was I thinking?! Now after having my son, and having a rough go of it the first 7 months I packed on the weight and I can't seem to move the scale. He's now 19 months and I am miserable. I am an emotional eater and well…I'm emotional. HA. And in the grand scheme of things I really am not a big person now…but I am to me and my clothes. I feel like if I got back to my previous size, things would be find and that I'M in control of this insecurity issue because I brought it on myself. So what do I do with that? I kinda feel a bit lost.
Linda
60's
separated
The part of chapter 7 that hit home was about rejection. I chased after my wayward husband too when I would find out he was having an affair. I begged him to come back, promised to change etc. while he promised nothing. Now he has found someone who lives close enough that he could move into her house when the affair came to light.
But I have to say this time God orchestrated my discovery of the affair as an answer to my prayers to heal my marriage or His will be done. Well, a divorce is in the offing because he is still with her and doesn't want to change. I thank God for all the people he has put in front of me to support me during this time but I sure have felt insecure and foolish.
2. My three reasons why its time to deal with my insecurity are
a. So I can be a whole person again.
b. So I can love myself the way the Lord sees me.
c. So I can be available for God to use me.
4. Dignity means I can hold my head up and know that I am worthy to be loved and respected.
Julie
30's married
Clarks Summit, PA
(1) "can cause a mom to be overcontrolling" My kids are young yet, but I still want them to be "PERFECT" mostly because I feel it reflects on me.
(2) Why is it time to deal with my insecurity?
a. for the sake of my kids (1 boy, 3 girls)
b. for the sake of my marriage
c. because it's what Christ wants for me!
(3)recent trigger… my husband had an after-work meeting (with 2 guys from church), said it would take an hour… 3 hours later he wasn't home and hadn't called. I flipped out and got sooo angry. turns out he was just enjoying some MUCH needed male bonding with the guys!!
(4) still working on chapter 8, but have to say that dignity for me would be not so caught up in pleasing others and needing their approval. standing on my own two feet in Jesus!!
Kelly
Married
30s
Fort Smith,AR
I most identified with the Mom who talked about being afraid she would parent like her parents (harsh) and believing the lies Satan was telling her. I so struggle with thinking I'm a mean, mother who can't control her anger.
3 Reasons
a) to be healthy spiritually
b) to be free and not feel like consistent joy is out of reach
c)to walk in what He has in store for me
I sort of feel like they are all the same. 🙂
Amity
30's
Married
Virginia
1. After reading chapter 7 I found myself in so many of the areas discussed. Before reading this book I knew I had some insecurity issues but it isn't until now that I realized I may have more issues than I thought. Thank you to the ladies who put their stories out there for all of us. Overcompentating, accepting compliments and twisting of perceptions were probably the top 3that hit home the most. Also Beth's statement that "Insecurity can veil our vision and blind us to how blessed we are really hit home.
2. A) My children – I'm showing my children how to live and I don't want them to have to live with insecurities.
B) I'm tired of carrying around the weight of insecurity, I want to be free of it and able to live life the way God has intended me to!
C) To have a closer relationship with Christ.
3). I'm very insecure in social situations and recently my son was invited to a bday party. When we showed up I didn't know anyone but the mom and child the party was for. To nervous to mingle with the other parents, I sat quietly watching my son bowl. It makes me feel bad that I cannot muster up the confidence to go chat with other parents and it bothers me that my children see this, I don't want them to be socially insecure too.
4). Dignity means to me – respect for both myself and others, honesty.
1. What part of Ch. 7 hit home with you the most and why?
Insecurity can make us give an entirely wrong impression. I know that this is something that has been part of my life for many years! I know there have been many times that others have seen me as a snob or stand-offish. But just like the writer of this said, I am intimidated and don't feel like I have much to add to some conversations. I often do not feel like I am worth having a "real" good friend. I can't say that this consumes me at all times, however, it is triggered too often!
2. 3 reasons time to deal with my insecurities:
a. I want to be the kind of wife, mother, and woman God has planned for me to be (physically, emotionally, and spiritually).
b. I am very tired of feeling so insecure…so often…in various situations.
c. My children and my husband ultimately suffer when those unhealthy emotions are exposed!
I know that through Christ, we can be "clothed in strength and dignity"!
-thanks Beth for sharing your life and all you have learned in Christ with us!
Kimberly
New Port Richey, Fl
40's
Siesta Beth & Fellow Women;
1. Chapter 7: The part that hit home most was how all our childhood insecurities follow us into adulthood causing us (me) to say and act foolishly. I myself have felt threatened as a woman and acted very foolishly…yes screaming and carrying on like a maniac because my needs were not being met. I have come along way in Christ and these insecurities have been less provoking after many impulsive reactions that I will not share I am learning to respond with grace & dignity.
2. Chapters 1- 8: Top 3 reasons why its time to deal with my insecurity is :A- I committed myself to overcome by journeying through this book with you Beth and your over 6,000 friends, B- I am all grown up and these child like behaviors are non becoming to a Noble Woman, C- Because I want to please the God who created me to His image. I am also clo.thed in Strength & Dignity!
3. A recent trigger of insecurity was avoided when I was asked to take this oath for Jury Duty this week:
"I will be faithful to the trust committed to me remembering the full measure of my responsibility (as a child of the Most High…my true obligation) and the solemnity of the oath I will take when it comes my time to serve." This is the oath to be true, impartial & free from unjust influence. All the injustices of the past cannot & will not influence my journey to overcoming my insecurities so I can be the woman God created me to be…and possibly serve on this trial!
4. Dignity means to walk gracefully poised with confidence despite the circumstances surrounding me because I am clothed with strength, humility & integrity.
"Thus saith the Lord, Ye shall not go up, nor fight against your brethren the children of Israel: return every man to his house; for this thing is from me."—1 Kings 12:24
Patsy
40 Something!
Married 29 yr's ("Submission Ministry")
Jackson, NJ
Beth,
I can't begin to tell you how healing it was for me to read the words on Page 22 "In order to avoid having to deal with the fact that we've been violated, sometimes we will reframe a situation, making ourselves out to be free agents who wanted it."
I did exactly that when I was violated against my will at about age 15 (a long time ago). There were several guys and it lasted through the night and into the next day. I have not been able to tell anyone what happened that night until 6 months ago when I told a therapist. I even lied to my parents and best friend.
For over 40 years I've thought that the only thing worse than what happened that night was my reaction to it. I just thought there was something horribly wrong with me to have had that reaction
I am so grateful to God for giving you those words and to the woman who had the courage to share her story.
We try so hard to keep things secret but how healing it is to get things out in the open not only for ourselves but for others to know they are not alone or crazy.
I had to put the book down after Chapter 7 but I'm hoping to pick it up again soon.
Thanks.
One. I am so glad God has moved me past some of the examples in Chapter 7. Woo Hoo. At least I’m not on the starting line still. I used to be such a liar as a child. I learned that can only add to insecurity.
Currently, I identify most with being a not so smart person in female and male relationships. I gnaw on relationships like a bone and over communicate. If I could slow the gnawing and slobbering over every little morsel, I might be an IQ point smarter or a little more relaxed.
Self worth issues dealing with weight and undervaluing myself leave me feeling that I have little to nothing to offer to anyone.
Two.
a. In part insecurity has caused me to give up on finding a church community other than the fact that I work almost all the time. I was deeply wounded by a queen bee mean girl at my past church. I feel that if I go back to that church that I will always feel like an outsider because of her influence. Maybe it’s just the devil talking smack, but I think that at my current level of self doubt that the same thing will happen at a new church – that I will just be an outsider. I definitely do not want to feel like an outsider to God’s love in His home. It’s sad that I feel like my restaurant where I work feels more loving than a church.
b. I want to get to the point where I do not care about what the girl with as much baggage as me thinks about me whether good or bad. I need to not let others opinions of me affect my personal view of myself. I want to hear good things thought or felt about me – but I should not depend on those words to determine my self worth. I need to instead clothe myself with His love, and walk with strength and dignity.
c. I need to silence my play by play inner critic who judges my every move and makes me less secure and less of who I truly am.
Three. My parents recently had a fight, and my mom left my Dad. They are reunited again, but it had me wondering if I could ever have a healthy relationship as my parents are definitely unhealthy. I slept the day away so yes, it got a rise out of me. . .
Four. Dignity means not digging any holes to hide in and living below who my one true Diety designed me to be.
Regina
Moberly, MO
30s
Married
I've been late posting but want to get my homework done before the new assignment tomorrow! But — it's a God thing… one of my answers happened today!
1. This, I can't recall — I finished ch 7 last Friday, and I've slept since then 🙂 But I do remember feeling bruised at that point, and wanting to get it HEALED.
2A. Being insecure takes too much energy. I spend so much worry and anxiety and even shakes it's a silly waste.
2B. I work in what can be a high-pressure environment (I help manage a small piece of one of our software environments), and want to move to an even bigger one (project management, doing releases for said environment). I will not get there if I'm constantly insecure (source) and angry (symptom).
2C. I love my man, but he and I both came from (differently) manipulative parents. I've got to be released from my insecurities so I can quit trying to skewer his and we can live like Christ really wants us to.
3. This morning, I started a training course with all of the managers in our building. I was okay with that, until I found out that not one but two women who have set me up for failure in the past were also going to be in the class. At the time, I handled it, and I actually made it a productive day, even when one of them and I were briefly in a small breakout group together. I was rather impressed with the work God's already done to start breaking those chains. Then, at the end of the day, we were told to stack up our things, so that the trainers could rearrange them tomorrow into different groups. I immediately thought "Please God, don't put them at my table, PLEASE." … Guess I'm not quite so unburdened as I wanted to think I was. Now I'm thinking, God, please heal this insecurity, even if that means sitting with them ALL DAY.
4. I'm a visual person, so dignity is an image for me. I'm picturing an older woman (why old? I don't know) standing tall, even while she's being buffeted by the wind ahead of a storm. Dignity is my grandmother Runette, who buried a husband after nursing him through a losing fight with cancer and who prayed for me I think forever. It's my other grandmother Rayona, whose husband left her after more than 30 years of marriage, who cared for her mother through senility and her older sister through Alzheimer's. Dignity is standing back up after being heartbroken, and going out to the world with an open heart anyway.
Bless you Beth! I'm ready to be QUIT of insecurity and rest so much more easily in my FATHER'S arms.
1. Alot of Ch. 7 hit home with me but I will keep it to two. Insecurity makes you act like a fool in female relationships. I felt the same about one of the stories about not wanting two mutual friends to meet each other for fear of them being better friends and/or talking about me behind my back. Also Insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't even want to do. I can't tell you how many bars and clubs I have been to even though I was uncomfortable and knew that was not where I wanted to be.
2. A. I want to reach my full potential in life.
B. I want to be a better wife
C. When I have children I want to instill security and dignit in thir lives.
4. Dignity means to me an outward expression of my securiy.
Sorry forgot my name and such in my comment.
Jennifer
Ocala, Fl
20's
Married
1. Sorry to many of these hit home for me to name one.
2.) a. I am tired of missing out on things because I am so stinkin insecure. I look back at all the things I did not do in high school because I was scared what people would think of me or worse yet that no one would talk to me. And even now as a 28 year old woman my insecurities still keep me from doing things I would really like to do.
b. God has called me into certain jobs or ministries at my church and some how I always talk myself into not doing it because there is bound to be someone better at it then me.
c. I have a daughter who I want her to follow her dreams and where God wants her to go. And I do not want her to follow in my footsteps and not do them because she is a big chicken. She is a strong girl and I always want her to believe she can do anything God wants her to do.
3. Awhile back I volunteered to run our media for our worship services if our main media person were to be gone. I volunteered thinking she never goes anywhere so it is ok cause I will never have to do. Then about 3 weeks ago she informed me she was going to be gone two weekends in a row. I know my face flushed red. But I agreed cause I am the only other one who know how to do it. I was nervous I would mess up and everyone would laugh or turn around and look at me. Instead of going into panick mode (going to everyone who would listen and sob to them, or train someone else to do it) I sucked it up and did it. Yes I made mistakes (not many) but no one said a word and several told me I did a good job.
4. Dignity means that I can hold my head up high and look at myself and be proud of who I am.
2. Top 3 reasons for dealing with my insecurities:
A. Jesus said in John 10:10, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I desire to have life to the full in Christ Jesus without my insecurities getting in the way.
B. I'm tired of trying to cover up my insecurities. I want to be freed from them.
C. I've struggled with my insecurities for way too long. It's time to face them and let God heal them.
4. To me, dignity means finding my self-worth in God alone and living out who I am in Christ knowing that He values me and loves me more than I can imagine.
Emily
Topeka, KS
20's
Single
1. Most of the examples hit home. I've done, said, thought, and reacted based on insecurities. Looking back, I can see how folish I looked.
2A. Because I can't stand the emotional toll it takes on me and others.
2B. It's time.
2C. I'm worth it!
3. Recently my sister and I were asked to sing at my uncles memorial service. I almost, but didn't lapse into, "I can't do this, I'm not good enough." We just practiced, went and did our best under the circumstances.
4. I'm not sure how to answer this. What this chapter is showing me is that the way in which I've overcome my insecurities might not have been the right one. See, I thought to get over my insecurities was to toughen up and not be sensitive. That's all I can really say now.
1. A better question might have been what part didn’t? 🙂 I saw SO many of my past insecure situations in this chapter, however I the one that I can’t get out of my mind is “if someone asks me if I’ve read a book, or seen a movie, or know where a certain street is, I’ll lie and say I know exactly where it is.” Not until I saw this in black and white did I realize how silly this makes me look and how much it doesn’t really matter if I’m not familiar with something. I’m now giving myself grace when I don’t know something and admitting to people that I have no clue what they are talking about. It is SO freeing and I’m learning about a lot of new things too!
2.
A. I hate the obsessive, binge eating, and negative person I am when I am insecure.
B. My insecurities have hurt myself and the people I love.
C. I want to see and appreciate me like God does.
Lisa/30s/single/Des Moines, IA
Ooopppsss, forgot my info.
Kara
Streetsboro, OH
30's
Single
Tricia
30's
Married
Illinois
1. Insecurity can keep us from accepting compliments and, far worse, from accepting love. My husband tells me I'm beautiful but I can't seem to believe it because I've never got my weight off after having twins.
2. (A) I want to be free to be me, not what others think I should be.
(B) I want my daughters to be secure in who they are. So I need to be an example for them to follow.
(C) So our marriage will be stronger.
3. I asked a friend if I could ride with her to a meeting. She told me no, she wanted to be by herself. I was hurt because I felt like she really didn't want to be with me. Yes, it got a rise out of me.
4. Dignity is when you can hold your head high and be who God created you to be.
I few weeks ago I said that I identified with Moses because I don't feel articulate when I speak and I would prefer someone else talk rather than me. I sent an email to my pastor of something the Lord had done for me. He asked me to speak in front of the whole church. I felt that I needed to speak because it would be a step to overcome my insecurity in this area. I didn't get as nervous as I usually do and I was happy with the way I presented what I wanted to say. A few women came to me with tears in their eyes after I spoke. I got an email from someone who said she struggles with the same thing that I was speaking about and how much she appreciated my realness and willingness to share. My husband even had a man tell him that what I spoke about really helped him. I have been so excited this week to think that I can speak in front of a crowd and it can have meaning to those who are listening. I'm so thankful that God opened a door for me to overcome my insecurity in this area. I didn't expect to be freed from this area of insecurity in the middle of the book, I thought it would happen at the end. God is awesome.
Oh, and I've been asked to speak at a meeting in a couple of weeks. I'm actually looking forward to it.
Just had a week of many triggers and came to get encouragement from these comments. It really helped. I'm noticing my main source of insecurity is feeling left out. At least three times this week I found out about people doing things together that I was not a part of. I would get that momentary pang in my heart, but then was able to "clothe myself in dignity" and move on. This last one is still stinging though, as it is someone I used to be so close to. I had already felt that she was pulling away. I thought maybe she was just busy with work, family, etc. but finding out she has "girls night out" with a new group of friends is really taking a toll. Knowing that other people have these experiences is helping me not to fall into a pit of depression as was my previous pattern. Thank you Beth for tackling this subject and thank you siestas for being so transparent. It is truly a Godsend!
Katie
40 (on Saturday)
CA
Top three reasons to deal with my insecurities:
A.) I finally realize that I DO have insecurity issues.
B.) Because of the way I behave when my insecurities are triggered. I become defensive and accusatory–things I thought I'd outgrown.
C.) I need to feel ok with myself and where God ahs placed me—to realize that I am just as valuable as any woman who may make twice as much as I do or who has an impressive title.
Recent insecurity trigger (oh yes–it got a rise out of me alright!): My husband brought up the fact that I don't make very much money AND that our daughter had made more money while working a part time job in college.( Now I'm worried that other bloggers will think I have an awful husband, but he's actually pretty great.) I felt hurt, angry, defensive–told myself that he didn't understand, value or respect me or my work. I even decided that he must care more about money than me! I later realized that I'd overreacted, but that was after a half hour of crying and two days of wallowing in my own melodrama and giving my husband the cold shoulder. His remark was insensitive, but not malicious. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior–instead of just telling him how I felt, I yelled, blamed, withdrew…YUK!
DIGNITY–for me it would mean finding my worth in what God says about me. Then I could respond to insecurity triggers in a manner that is worthy of respect instead of being an emotional mess.
OOps–forgot
chicago, IL
married 40's
Amy Jo
30s
Married
Wildwood, MO
1) The part about female friendships hit home with me, and as is a common theme with my insecurity, the issues I have as it relates to my husband. One of my dear friends (now) had known my husband for many years before I met him, as they had worked together for 15 years in 3 different cities. When she and her family first moved to our city, I was very insecure around her because she and my husband would talk about people I didn't know and all the "good times" from the past. Now that we have established a friendship over the past few years, she and her family are truly like family and our favorite people to spend time with. And, she and I have developed a friendship that I wouldn't trade for anything! Looking back, I was so foolish and insecure in the beginning!
2) Top 3 reasons that I have to deal with insecurity:
A) Insecurity causes issues in my marriage
B) I want to be a more stable person and insecurity is probably my biggest weakness
C) I feel like a fraud sometimes (seemingly having it all together on the outside, but an emotional, insecure wreck on the inside)
3) Recent insecurity trigger: We were at a work function where we were entertaining several couples and I usually feel insecure around all the other wives (I'm much younger than most of them and don't feel like they take me seriously). This time, I refused to let insecurity affect me and I felt like I could truly be myself – and people respected what I had to say. It made the evening so much more enjoyable and less stressful! It was quite a success!
4) Dignity to me means that I am respected as someone who is relevant – my feelings, my knowledge, my opinions, my friendships – I am relevant to those around me. There is a reason that God has put me in a situation and He has a purpose for my life!
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home…
Insecurity can confine us- There have been times in the past that I would not get involved in something social, or in ministry or whatever because of what I thought about myself and what I thought other thought about me. That doesn't happen anymore! Praise HIM!!
2) Top 3 reasons to deal with this!!
a) I WANT to be used by GOD!! Haven't always felt that way.
b) I want to be a good role model for my daughters.
c) I want to be the person Christ has in mind for me to be. I have a destiny that He has planned out for me. Girl, it's time to get off my butt and do the thing!!!
3. I didn't hear from a friend after confessing some hard stuff to her. I figured I had let her down…I wasn't the person she thought I was.
4. Dignity is looking back on your words and actions and knowing that God is pleased. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and not be ashamed.
Melana
Sheridan WY
Married
50's
Janice
60ish widow
Lake Forest, Calif
1. The part of Chapter 7 that hit home most was the story about the daddy who was in reality a stranger. My father, divorced, came to visit my sister and I when I was four years old. I remember taking a picture with him, I still have the picture, however,he died when I was five. As a child I didn't understand death, but I was aware of not having a dad like the other kids. I hated to hear the kid's talk about their dad or see them holding their father's hand. Father's Day was a day for me to feel less than. I've felt abandoned and insecure around males most of my life. If a guy spoke to me more than once, I'd begin making marriage plans,only in my head, of course. I would select a husband without giving it complete thought; ending in a disasterous relationship punctuated by divorce.
2. It's time to deal with my insecurities and here are the reasons:
A. I want to be free to do all of what God has planned for me.
B. I want to truly experience the fullness of joy the Lord has spoken of as I live a life in obedience, and I don't think God has a man in the plan.
C. God tried to speak to me when I was younger, being unwilling to stop sinning, I said to Him, "No, you've made a mistake. You don't want me. You want my sister. She's the good one. No, Find somebody else." I have wondered at my nerve to say no to God. And I have wondered what God wanted to tell me.
If I work on my insecurities I am stripping away another barrier that prevents me from serving God's purpose to the fullest. I want to know what God wanted before I leave this earth. I want Him to say, Well done thou good and faithful servant.
3. Recently, a female, who sometimes has an air of superiority about her, made an offhanded comment that triggered my insecurity. Thank God I didn't feel the brunt of self-pity. I looked at her and realized that she is so insecure she tries to appear superior to others. I felt sorry for her. I have grown since this study began. Thank God.
4. Dignity means walking freely unencumbered by the weight of painful memories, shame, guilt, and fear. Dignity means knowing who you were, who you are,and liking both of those individuals. I am blessed by what it says in Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understnding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Missy
Tulare, CA
30's
married
1. Page 115 "My insecurities increased tenfold when I became a mother…" Can I just tell you what a relief to see those words in this book. I was blessed with a wonderful childhood filled with loving parents, supportive siblings and good friends. I know I am insecure (personal disposition and pride) but was feeling like because of my background, this book wasn't go to apply much to me. I almost starting crying when I read those words. Parenting has made me more insecure than I could have ever imagined…how I want to break free from this stronghold and not miss out on the joy of my children.
2. Top 3 reasons
a. I don't want to miss out on the joy my children can bring me. (see answer 1)
b. Because I am tired of feeling so weak and vulnerable. I am ready to clothe myself in His strength and dignity.
c. I desire to live CONFIDENTLY knowing with certainty my "God-given identity and conviction that NOTHING can take that identity away" (pg 104)
3. A trigger? Every time someone makes a comment about my children in a remotely negative way OR appears to be inadvertantly criticizing my children in their praise of their own children. I really mean I am almost debilatingly insecure about parenting! The most recent experience was just the other night when one of my best friends was commenting on how she was worried about her second born not being as smart as her first born. But then she went on to explain that she knew her second child was equally as smart because she "already knows all her letters and their sounds!" (Her second born is 2 1/2 years old.) My guard automatically went up and I was crushed because she knows how much heartache I have suffered thru because of my second born's apparent speech delay. (He is the same age as her second born.) So the rest of the night I could not leave the hurt behind. The minute they left, I unleashed on my husband about how hurtful my friend was and I just knew she was trying to indirectly attack me. Crazy huh? Even as I type I think the whole thing is crazy! Can I really break free?
4. Dignity means honor and respect. Thank you, Beth for this Spirit inspired definition (pg 159) that reminds me that I possess dignity, splendor, honor given to me by God. That "what everybody else thinks of me to grow less and less significant" would be truly freeing!
Rita, Colorado Springs
50's Married
1) What part of Chapter 7 hit home the most and why? pg. 141 insecurities "kept me from pursuing career goals that I know God planted in my heart and kept me from trying new things that would have been good for me." also . . . "Insecurity makes us put our gifts on a shelf to gather demonic dust."
I have made career and life choices that resulted in me performing highly but in job titles that were often below my abilities (even bosses and co-workers have told me that); at times resulting in my being burned out and disappointed. I've come to a place in my life–JUST prior to picking up this book–where I've realized and believe that NOT living up to God's potential He created in us is not being fair to Him. It's also an avenue of success for the evil one. And perhaps living a life not fully embracing our abilities is living a life not fully fulfilled . . . feeling like there is a void. We are created with a void in us, I believe, intentionally and one that only God can fill. But, if we don't live up to His design on our life, that void may just be duplicated. Maybe THAT is why I have most often felt I'm not "enough." Not because of what other's thought about me, but what I perceived in my heart as a gap between what i've done (job wise) and what I'm capable of doing.
2. List 3 reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity.
a) So I can live a life fully fulfilled and fully meeting the potential God set in me.
b) So I can enjoy my marriage to my wonderful husband to the absolute best of my/our abilities . . . living in freedom and joy; not hovering in insecurities.
c) I want to live out the remainder of my time on this earth as a happy, secure woman who can recognize my fears and insecurities, learn to step around them, and meet God's plan for me head on each day!
3. Describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you. This past summer, my husband and I were being honored by his coworkers on our recent wedding. The green-eyed monster reared it's ugly head and did a number on my jealousy trigger. I was able to maintain a solid exterior, but my insides were fighting for air. The next morning I was able to discuss it with him, and we were able to talk through my feelings, his perceptions of the situation, and then lay out a plan to address how that type of situation could be handled differently–by both of us–in the future. I felt heard and honored because of and despite my insecurity. (My husband is a TREASURE!!! God has blessed me well!)
4. Dignity is a "knowing" in my heart and head that God has designed me with a special plan in mind and because of that He has also made me worthy to be respected. And that respect must start with my own self-respect.
I am barely getting these responses in this week.
1. I think the thing that hit home for me in Chapter 7 was that I'm not alone. I wanted to cry so many times as I read the responses. Some I could say me too!!!
2. Top 3 reasons I'm ready to dump the insecurity:
A. It's stealing my joy!
B. It's getting in the way of my relationship with God.
C. It definitely doesn't bring God one tiny drop of glory.
3. Just a few weeks ago I was called to the office. All the way down there I tried to go back and figure out what I did wrong. What could I have said or done wrongly. In fact when I got down there, the principal wanted my opinion on something. Imagine that!!!
4. Dignity means living with the respect and honor that God desires me to have.
Q1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
A1. I related with MOST of these examples of insecurity on some level. In my childhood through my 20s, I absolutely lied alot in order to sound smarter and savvier than I was … and also die WAY too many things that I really didn't want to because I just so badly wanted to be included.
What resonated most with me, though, was on page 122.
"Insecurity and all its attending emotional unhealthy emotional unhealthiness can cause us to embrace people who abuse us. And if we don't wake up, they could kill us. Let me be blunt: security means we know a jerk when we see one and we know a crime when we experience one."
That is me. Too insecure to call a jerk a jerk … or call a crime a crime.
As I go through this book with you, I am separated from my husband of 13 years by a domestic abuse restraining order. I've endured 13 years of abuse – emotional, verbal, some physical, and spiritual – at the hands of my husband because it would just be too awful and mean and un-Christian to leave. I've two boys to consider … and the abuse has been escalating. The counselor whom I am seeing, also saw the two of us prior to the restraining order and has helped me to recognize that my husband is a narcissistic, alcoholic abuser. I am just now able to even say/write that description of my husband without cringing at the thought that those are "mean" words.
blech.
Talk about insecure.
Q2. ( Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity.
2A. Insecurity stands between me and Freedom.
2B. Insecurity stands between me and the Good Plans that He has for me.
2C. I've two young pairs of eyes watching me … and I want insecurity to be NO PART of my model to them.
Q4. What does dignity mean to you?
Knowing WHO I am and WHOSE I am … and walking confidently in that knowledge.
Kris Ann
Wisconsin
Separated
30s
sharilyn
single
43
long beach, ca
1. Insecurity can be a relentless robber… because I see this in so many ways in my life—robbing me in relationships (not seeing them as they truly are, colored by my insecure filters!), robbing me of being the best me as God created me, and delighting in the best others are as well, robbing me of stepping out into new things (fear!) and new relationships!
2.A. for my relationships with my loved ones – truth and clarity, no more false rejection, no more straining the relationships by my fears and warped perceptions…
B. For my relationship with God – KNOWING who I am in Him and how precious I am to Him that I give Him glory and display His splendor!
C. For myself… that I may walk in truth, confidently, being the fullest me God has created me to be! To enjoy who He has made me to be!
3. Due to chronic ill health lately and the newly-retired status of her husband, my best friend has not been as available to spend time with me as before. Unfortunately, insecurity has reared its ugly head and told me she doesn’t care for me as much anymore–she doesn’t have time for me because I’m not important enough to her. This is the INSANITY I want to stop in my head and in my heart!!
4. Respect, worth, and esteem because of who God has made me to be…
Briana
20s
Santa Clarita, CA
Married
1. The topic you touched on that really hit home for me was insecurity can make us give an entirely wrong impression. My husband and I have gone through a couple moves in the past three years and I feel like each time we are in a new place I have to recreate who I am or appear as someone different when really I need to be secure in exactly who God made me!
2. A. I want to be more secure for my husband.
B. I want to be more secure as an example for my future children.
C. I want to be more secure as a woman made in the image of God, designed to serve Him.
1.) The thing that hit closest to home was, "Insecurity can keep us from accepting compliments, and far worse, from accepting love." As I stated last week, one of my main roots of insecurity is rejection. I've had a lot of people close to me that would lie and pretend to be my friend when they were making plans to ditch me. Because of this, I tend to find it difficult to believe compliments and sometimes to even believe people when they tell me they love me. Fortunately, my growing trust in God is helping me to accept these things, as well as finding better people to be close to.
2.) A. God's increasingly shown me His desire to set me free from insecurity and provide what was needed to do so, including this book.
B. I'm just plain sick of dealing with insecurity. It's painful and I'm tired of letting it hold me back.
C. I know that my insecurity is the main thing, if not the only thing, that will prevent me from stepping into the wonderful destiny God has planned for me. And I want nothing more than to fulfill that destiny.
3.) Recently a close friend of mine has made new friends at school. I'm happy that she's made new friends, and they seem like very nice people, but lately it seems she makes a lot more time for them than she does for me. With rejection as one of my main roots, this triggers a whole lot for me. Though she still occasionally makes time for me, I feel like I've once again been rejected by a close friend because she found "better" friends. It confirms the fear I'm trying hard to overcome that this is just the way life will always be for me.
4.) To me, dignity means being able to stand confidently with my head held high, and not be cowering in shame and fear with my tail tucked between my legs.
Beth, this book has been changing my life so much! My pastor and I have noticed some big changes starting to take place in my life and my character. He's also been a part of the healing process by challenging me along the way to take physical steps to help me gain confidence and show it. He's also encouraging me and encouraging everyone in my youth group to do the same when I am being more confident. Siestas, if you have a Godly person you can trust that you can open up to about your insecurity and the fact that you're reading this book to deal with it, open up to them! It helps SO much to have someone you're close to encourage you through the process!
Also, I don't know if this would help anyone, but the new Alice and Wonderland movie encouraged me. I see my insecurity as the Jabberwocky, and like Alice, I can defeat it. All I need is the courage to believe that I can. It also encouraged me that I can regain my muchness along this journey.
Elizabeth
Escalon, CA
20's
Single
1) I do believe I identified with almost everyone of those testimonies in one way or the other. Insecurity pervades many parts of my life. I realize I am not alone or unusual. However, I do feel so blessed that I can read this book together with so many others and find real healing for the plague of insecurity.
2) A) I found myself reluctant and even incapable of stepping fully into them. Why? Why, why couldn’t I do it? I had so many excuses, personal ones blocking my way. They all had one thing in common. They were based on insecurity
B) ) it then became apparent that there were obstacles of sin that I covered with my insecurity to make me look better on the outside. I was harboring sin of selfishness, actually guarding it, because it was familiar and it was the excuse for not doing and giving the way I ought. That was a horrendous revelation about myself.
C) I have had ENOUGH!!!
3) Trying to start a Bible study on Breaking Free triggered some insecurity in me. I feel strongly that it is time to offer it. So, I have and there are only two people that are interested. This is different than times before when I have had a dozen or so. Anyway, I was taking it personal, of course, feeling like my time of ministry had passed, not popular…school girlish insecurity all over again.
4) Knowing I am clothed with dignity is a healing balm of relief. It soothes the ache of overexposure, of foolishness and fear of being unacceptable. I praise God for this knowledge. It gives me courage.
I forgot to put my name etc on that last post….
Lisa from Cogan Station PA married in my 50's….no wonder I forget it regularly!
1. What hit home in chapter 7? All the stories reminded me of times I have been an insecure nut. 🙂 The verses you provided to saturate my heart and mind are having a big impact. Heb 2:11, Isaiah 8:18, and Ps. 103:13-14.
3. Recent trigger – a friend commented on my socks. "Wow, you'll really fit in with the ethnic group of the country you are moving to." I moved my feet from showing out in front of us to tucked under the chair and then when she left I almost took the socks off so no one else would see them. 🙂 Thank you Lord for the dignity you have given me and for showing Beth so I could see it right now. I loved all the clothing examples on p.156 I want to wear the new liine of clothing "strength and dignity". It is the hot new look for Christian women around the world. Covered by Christ!
Katie
40's married
L-town, MD
1.Friendships…when I hear that 2 friends/couples went out for supper or had a bbq and I wasn't invited it hurts. Continually think that I have said or done something to make them not want to invite us. Also…insecurity can give the wrong impression. I so want to be able to walk up to people and introduce myself to someone I don't know OR if we are at a restauraunt or grocery store and see someone I know, I wait for them to say hi to me first. If they don't I feel terrible. But I wonder if they think I just totally stuck up and wrapped up in myself. Thus TOTALLY giving the WRONG impression.
2. a. For my daughter and her relationships with friends
b. To not be robbed by Satan and miss out on opportunities/path they LORD has layed out for me.
c. As a wife,mom,friend, sister-in-law, aunt.. to be able to stand behind my reasons/decisions/discipline actions and not feel like I'm irrational or making a huge mistake EVERY time I say or do something.
3. A trigger for me..Spending an evening with family members and listening to them talk about their jobs and home and things they were going to do. How everything was going to be "PERFECT" It started to get rise out of me..green with envy, annoyed, feeling less than adequate. But then I remembered about how being a perfectionist can be EXHAUSTING and always think you are within reach, but really not…and I thought to myself. I'm NOT TIRED! Thank you LORD.
4. Dignity means being able to look at myself and like what I see and being able to stand up for something and not back down even if others are trying HARD to make you see/feel wrong.
Erica
30's married with children
Kansas
Victoria
Thomasville NC
30s
Married
1. "We think so little of ourselves that we end up not calling a wrong a wrong or a crime a crime." Anyone else struggling with insecurity that originated after healing from such scenes? I am working past my fear of looking stupid after many years of being a mix between naive and just plain talking myself out of my own good sense.
2. A–My marriage didn't stand through the hell of infidelity for it to go up in flames over residual issues with insecurity.
B–My children need to see a Godly example of what a woman is, what a marriage looks like, and how to compromise healthily.
C–There's no room for insecurity when you're ministering.
3. After so many years of affairs with my best friends and even my sister, my husband can't mention a friend of mine today without me burning up inside. Just last night my husband looked at me and told me how beautiful I am. I smiled. Then he said, you've got some good genes and I could have smacked him. FOUR years of continual forgiveness after the fact and I tear into him for just being sweet, careless, but sweet. I still don't want to call it sweet today, my skin crawls over the thought.
4. Dignity means holding myself to the standard God has set for me, not man. Whew, what a goal!
1. I related to much of chapter seven but the one that really hit home was insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't even want to do. The second and third stories, I felt as if I had written those stories.
2)Three reasons to deal with my insecurities
a. It's time to stop living in the past and enjoy the blessings GOD has given me.
b. So that I can be the kind of woman GOD created and Know that I can be.
C.So that I can fully live in the present moment.
What does diginity mean to me?
Respect and unconditionaly love myself the way GOD loves me. Also respect and accept others for who GOD created them to be. I would like to say to love them unconditoinaly the way GOD loves them, not there yet……..and that is a hard one. First things first have to heal myself..
Thank you
Clari
Brenham
married
40's
Shannon
Greeley, CO
30's
married
1. I have to honestly say I was most struck by the fact that much of this behavior used to be true of me and by God's grace and His truth that has set me free it just isn't anymore. Praise God! What did still ring a little true with me was feeling insecure around people with similar gifts to me. I feel jealousy rear its ugly head when I see someone doing something I know I could and should be doing, but I'm not.
2.A. So I can faithfully answer the call of God on my life.
B. So that I'm more likely to raise mentally healthy, secure children.
C. So I can have more of the fullness and joy God intended. I want to have everything my God wants me to have.
3. At a recent church group – I go to a church that is more charismatic than I am and sometimes the style and substance of the prayers can wear on me and leave me not wanting to participate in group prayer. I did recently find myself weak and silent. I was focused on the wrong thing.
4. Dignity makes me think of a quiet strength and confidence, a broad and firm understanding of who I am and Whose I am.
50's, married, Montana
1. The relentless robbery overall and in so many forms struck me hard. I see what a wicked enemy I've had for so many years. And now to know that so many around me were suffering, too, but oh so separately. The shame and the regrets motivate me now. God's blessed peace to my inner soul is my goal.
2. a. After dealing with dementia and Alzheimers in both my parents and my in-laws, I do not want my regrets or the agony of these memories to surface in my aging for my kids to have to suffer through!!! No passing these on!!! God grant us blessed deliverance from these shameful memories and the inner peace to forgive and forget.
2.b. It's time to create SECURE memories to counteract all the years of anxious, shameful memories. It's time to forget them all.
2.c. God has given me so much. My weakness keeps me from being His tool in order to do all the good I can in all the ways I can. I must conquer this to be the best Servant I can be.
3. Having recently moved to retire in the gorgeous area in which my dear husband grew up (we are blessed), I confront many situations every day in which I am a new person in a group of people who've known each other for years. A recent dinner party triggered me as I struggled to be part of the conversation…getting to know women who are good friends and finding room for loving fellowship and support with them. I was exhausted when I got home that night.
4. Dignity is being content with who you are; is having the poise to be who you are; and leads to self-esteem and self-respect. The opinion of others is separate from us and does not make us anxious.
What a blessed journey! Thanks, Beth.
1. I can identify with the one who feels insecure in friendship and the pastor's wife- though I'm not one-who is misunderstood (shyness for me).
2. A. Too sensitive which I consider to be too much self-focus and I'm tired of it!
B. Perfectionism – tired of trying when I know I can't – only Jesus is perfection.
C. I want to be secure because God gives me security – not because I did certain things and did them well.
4. I liked the definition of dignity as "worthy of respect."
Kay
Tupelo, MS
60's
Okay, really just going to be honest here. I'm really struggling. I know that God can help us through this, I just always feel like that message is for someone else. I always feel like I am on the sidelines watching everyone else get the healing and I'm genuinely happy and excited and tell myself I KNOW that could be me, and yet I feel like it's not for me. I'm not signing my name because i did watch the video and i don't want Beth to think I'm not taking heed in what she says. i have not posted since the first week and just need prayer. I know satan is afraid that I may actually be onto something here and that God is ready to do a big work in my life. Why can't I break through? Thanks for praying.
I just wanted you to know that there was someone else out there that knows how you feel. I’ve felt like I was watching everyone live life through a window, but was never able to participate myself…some kind of disconnection. And that has been a characteristic of my relationships, including with God.
Take heart, be encouraged, God IS faithful…keep seeking Him, he promises that you(we) WILL find him when we seek him with our whole hearts. He HAS healed me in many ways, nothing dramatic and flashy though…kinda quiet healings…but progress none the less. I think it’s my perception and bad memory of the good things God has done that trip me up.
Just remember that He never will give up on you…He promises to finish the good work that He started!!!