So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
Kiki 
I really need some sister praying for me. I have fought this battle all my life and the older I get the harder it gets for me to fight. this is how its been since I was a child I'm 34 now. I will Walk with God For a while and then something will come up and I will Fall to sin, And you name it sister I have probably done it. I really love Jesus and I want to do the right thing.
As I am right now I am cryin So hard I can't see. i am Tried and I have cried to god and I don't want to run back to my old ways. I want to live with God and Breath every min with him. But this is what I have done my whole life get, Get so Close and Run the other way. I don;t understand it, I don't understand me. So I really hope that someone will understand this. Or please just pray for me. I want to overcome this and live the life that God has for me. I hope that it is ok that I am asking this.
Newbie alert! Well, to the insecurity discussion, not siestaville:)
(2)A. Time to deal with insecurity because the healthy, whole, secure part of me is screaming to get out!
B. I want to be confident around every type of person.
C. I hope to be a new link of security in my family line.
(3)Recent trigger happened this past Sunday, as I was going to a fairly new church that has not established a permanent meeting place yet. I went by myself, so I was already a little nervous about that. It's a huge gathering (definitely over 1,000 people), and we met in the gym of a school. Ended up sitting in an entire section all by myself until the service started and a few others sat in the same area. Just felt so insecure and was afraid people would think I did not have friends! So silly, but let me tell you, in that moment I was praying hard for other people to sit around me.
Thank you so much for the video Beth.
And thank you so much for ch 8. I haven't read ahead so I don't know what is coming up, but that chapter so far was 'IT' for me!
1. what hit home the most…feeling insecure as a parent and accepting love, especially God's.
Seems so simple to write down but yet the ramifications have been so destructive.
2. I have actually begun dealing with my insecurity almost two years ago. It was for these reasons:
A. I was in such despair I had no choice but to deal with it or I was going to die.
B. Verses like Hebrews 11:6, and without faith it is impossible to please Him, just slew me. If nothing else I thought I need to start believing Him.
C. I have two beautiful girls that deserve a mother who is here in the present and not one stuck in the past.
3. Recent trigger. I had already forgiven my father for something in my heart that I barely could digest in dealing with. But I had forgiven him. Recently, well Christmas time, without him asking for forgiveness I let him know he was forgiven. Our relationship though was so strained and I felt led to offer this to him so we could go forward and try to salvage whatever was left. I was prepared for everything except for how he reacted…it wasn't even denial…but acting like he forgot…he couldn't remember. My sister and I could remember what he did and what he made us do but he couldn't. For a moment it was like salt in the wound being rubbed in. And not even for a father to a daughter, but since he is now a Christian, how could he not even just say I accept your forgiveness when I was offering it to him….I just began to feel that less than worthy feeling in his eyes, in God's eyes again. So hard to explain, that feeling.
But I fought through this and continue to just like how you described on page 149…I made a deliberate choice not to act on this feeling. I grabbed my scripture spiral instead. Before I would have hid in alcohol.
4. dignity to me…believing and knowing that God, the Creator of everything is holding onto me and not just me onto Him. He has me in His hand and is not letting go. When I really allow that to sink in…it is life changing.
Michelle
Vermont
married 40s
Dearest Rebecca, I am praying for you tonight!! Hold on TIGHTLY to your Father! He loves you SO MUCH!!
And, for those of you feeling raw…let me tell you that I was feeling that 1-2 weeks ago too. I was feeling defeated, very defeated. But, chapter 8 has encouraged me GREATLY. God is so good! He will not leave you in that place! Hang in there…keep digging into God's Word and focusing on His Truth in your life…and He will see you through to the other side — SECURITY in HIM!!
I'm thankful for all of you…that we can share our stories here. :)Praying for the siestas tonight!
Well, Beth and dear friends here – unfortunately, I don't have the book yet..the life of a college student begs my money be spent elsewhere, however, I'm keeping up on here. I don't have the juice of the book, but you guys and your comments do well for the few minutes I have here and there to spend here.
I can, however, answer number two.
My reasons for finally deciding it's time to deal with my insecurities:
1. so that my friendships will no built with underlying fear.
2. it is TIME for me to stop second guessing God and His love for me. HE, the breather of the stars, chases after me. It is time that I stop saying "oh I believe you" and not holding onto His promises.
3. I don't want anyone to end up with insecurity like me. There is a middle school girl, the little sister of a friend of mine, who I have been talking to lately – I pray with all my heart that she can break free of the insecurities I see forming already, ones much like mine. .. because Abba, our Father, has so much more to offer!!
Beth – 20 – Rome, GA
Kristi
Lewisville, TX
late 20s
married
1. Insecurity can make me act like an idiot, turn gifts into competition, confine me, EXPLODE WITH REJECTION AND TWIST PERCEPTIONS, and can be a relentless robber. Here's where all this resonated the most with me: I'm not the only one!!! I knew that, but oh my word, to see other women write those stories out in total transparency was depressing and refreshing all at the same time!!! It was hard to read, but I honestly couldn't take my eyes off the page just because it was so nice to not be alone. Not one of those stories was something exactly as I have experienced, but I have FELT like so many of those ladies! Thank you for sharing and for letting the rest of us know we are not alone!
2. A. Because I'm tired
B. Because I'm making myself sick (emotionally and physically)
C. Because I can't see others as Christ because I'm too busy being insecure and proud.
3. A dear friend and family member recently asked for prayers regarding a situation she could not go into details about. Today she allowed more information out and it was positively exciting. I was jealous that I had not been told before others on the email list because I'm family and the others are not, and because I have told her exciting news in the past before others. There was no inappropriate public reaction, but I was eaten up for a little bit before becoming appalled at my behavior! I still can feel those twinges of frustration and unfairness but I know it's wrong and know it's my insecurity. Just not sure how to handle it yet.
4. What does dignity mean to you? I'm still processing this one…loved the whole section and it did bring much relief. But, I'm not sure.
I do feel a little raw, but in a good way actually. Like I just uncovered a bunch of junk that was causing pressure I didn't realize it was causing and relief might just be in sight. Don't know what to do with it all yet, but I feel like the journey is just beginning.
Kristin
Married
29
1. The repeated texts and calls to our husbands-Guilty!
I loved, though, when you pointed out that if Christ's spirit is in me, than He has confidence for me. It is in me to be secure. Love it and believing it!
2. A. I felt like insecurity was defining my life. I want God to define who I am, not my insecurity.
B. I want my eyes to be off of myself, and for my light to shine for others to see that I am confident b/c I am a child of the Most High God.
C. I have 3 children, 2 being daughters. I don't want them to ever think low of themselves. I want to be an example of a Godly mother who is happy with how her Creator made her.
D. (Can I do that?) I was so convicted that I was questioning/insulting God by constantly pointing out the mistakes he made with me. If only I looked like this, etc…
3. Trigger…Unfortunately, there are many things that can trigger me, but Praise God! they are not getting nearly the rise out of me that they once did. (The ones that resounded with me the most…husband glancing at another woman, friend hanging out with other friend, and offhanded comments from people who think very high of themselves.)
4. Dignity: to possess dignity is to be worthy of respect.
Had to share one of many of my favorite one-liners in this book…
"If we knew who we were and what God has conferred upon us, what everybody else thought of us would grow less and less significant." WOW!
THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH for the video today – it was exactly what I needed to keep going…..I hope that you will do more videos to keep the encouragement and keep the fact that you are right there with us in this journey! THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH! It was a wonderful addition to my day and to my study and to my deliverance and I hope we see you again real soon!!!
2. a) i hate feeling like i need to constantly have a friend/ family member/ boy around in order to feel worthwhile.
b) i am tired of always second guessing myself after finishing a conversation, assured that i just made a complete idiot out of myself.
c) i am tired of needing constant affirmation in order to feel secure in my work – im sure my teachers/ parents/ directors/ friends are tired of it too!
4. i believe that dignity is feeling secure in my identity in christ. i mean, is there anything more dignifying than that? o, to remember at every moment in the day that he loves me no matter how dumb i may sound, and nothing else matters!
Taylor
21
pittsburgh, pa
Linda
St. Paul, MN
Married
40s
1. The part of chapter seven that hit home was the Siesta's description of how insecurity robs us. It mirrors me well: "Insecurity makes us settle. Insecurity makes us distracted. Insecurity robs our confidence in our rich inheritance from God. Insecurity makes us put our gifts on a shelf to gather demonic dust. Insecurity disturbs our sleep. Insecurity derails our life."
2. My top three reasons for dealing with my insecurity:
A. I want so much at the end of my life to hear Jesus say, "Well done."
B. I'm so tired of letting fear drive my thoughts and actions. I want to be strong and laugh at the days to come like the woman in Proverbs 31; and I want to be like the woman described in 1 Peter 3:6b, "And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear ANYTHING that is frightenting."
C. I want to set aside insidious insecurity and do the good works God prepared for me to do, including being a more godly wife and raising boys to love Jesus with all their hearts. And, if God is still leading this way, to finally finish a wonderful WWII biography that I know He called me to write but have shelved for a long, long time due to fear and lack of confidence.
3. A recent trigger was being confronted rather harshly by a woman in Bible study in front of others and not being free to explain or defend myself. It got a huge rise out of me internally, but not so very much externally, only by the grace of God.
4. Dignity to me is being able to walk uprightly before God, myself, and others because I'm rooted and grounded in His steadfast love for me. And having my words, actions, and thoughts elicit respect from myself and others in a way that makes Jesus smile and nod in approval.
Dearest Beth and Moore Girls,
This is my first comment. I am behind in the posts, but not the reading. Oh, I believe I have struggled with some level of insecurity all my life, with a distant and perfectionistic father who I only wanted to please as a child (but whom I adore this day!) and on up to the present, married to a Christian man for 25 years who has repeatedly hurt me emotionally, either by unfaithfulness, deception, or lies.
He has now been caught in an adulterous affair with my dearest friend whom we had taken into our home, along with her 7 children when HER pastor husband had done the same to her and abandoned her financially. My husband was an elder, worship leader, homegroup leader, etc. He has since filed for divorce telling me that he does not love me and that divorce has been an "option" for him for 17 years. We have four children, three of which are grown.
I am not telling all this out of hate or bitterness, but out of a place of deep hurt, betrayal, and wondering what part of me is so insecure that I was not able to confront my husband head on about his behaviors.
I am finding it difficult to concentrate on the material being presented, but that probably comes with the territory. I am also studying "Why Godly People Do Ungodly Things" with the women in our church. Amazing!! 🙂
Please know that I am surrounded by such an amazing support group, including the leadership of my church, friends, and family. I serve an AMAZING God and He is here with me during this horrific time. I would be utterly lost without Him.
I will try and make a comment for week four.
Blessings!!
Tracy
CA
46
Kristi
Rogersville, Tn
30's
Married
Wow! The video couldn't have come at a better time for me. This book was bringing up things I thought I had dealt with. I am trying to go to the next level in my service with God. I have been an emotional wreck.
I am so glad that we were to read both chapters this week. Chapter 8 was a turning point for me. I pray I am ready to move forward.
1.The part of chapter 7 that hit home the most with me was how much I could relate to so many of these women. I would never have guessed that.
2. Three reasons to deal with my insecurities:
a. So I can serve in my church in the areas and ways God would have me to.
b. My 7 year old daughter.
c. So I can grow spiritually/personally in Christ every day for the rest of my life.
3. A recent conversation I had with a very dear loved one who isn't sure she is saved. I did everything wrong in trying to help her. I want to get over my insecurity of what I might do wrong in witnessing and surrender to the Holy Spirit to lead.
4.Serving God how He wants with confidence to lean on Him and not worry about self.
I have such a long way to go. I am determined to get through this; to put into and get out of it what God would have me to.
I am praying for each of you on this blog, all reading the book, and all that will be at the conference live or simulcast. God's going to amaze us!
Thank you, Beth, for posting an encouraging video today! I just needed that!!!
Ok, I haven't yet read chapters 7 and 8 (I'm almost done with chapter 6), but I really needed to tell you what I'm dealing with (more for me to express it than for you to read it).
I am SO in the trenches right now! I'm doing Breaking Free AND So Long Insecurity with the "Siestas." My marriage is in the recovery stages after my husband's infidelity, and as I type this it just feels hopeless. I KNOW that God is able and willing to heal my marriage, but there is such a disconnect between me and my husband that I don't know what to do. I even started getting SERIOUS migraines last week -migraines are totally new to me. To say that I'm raw at this point is an understatement.
I KNOW my God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, but right now I want to just give up. I won't do that. I'm just speaking from my emotions right now. I went out and bought new "beauty treatments" and got my hair highlighted and cut. When I got home with my new 'do, my husband just said, "do you like it?" (as if it were just a waste of time and money). I just feel so deflated.
I will press on. I KNOW healing is coming. But the process just stinks right now.
This sounds so negative, I don't often feel this discouraged. I'm going to stay up tonight and keep reading!
Can I just say now that I HATE FEELING INSECURE???????
Top Three Reasons to Deal With My Insecurity:
A- So that my future husband…whoever he may be, can catch a break!
B- So that I can be certain I do not miss out on any good thing God has for me, because I harbored about 2 million "what-ifs."
C-Because I want to be an example.
Recently a good friend decided I should meet her brother-in-law. I agreed to go with them to a particular rodeo to meet him. He would be there becuase he is a stockcontractor. The day before we were leaving to head to the out- of- town rodeo my friend told me we would first be meeting him, all her brother-in-laws, their wives, and her mother-in-law, his mom for dinner. Well throughout the dinner the guy didn't speak, but continued to text and receive calls. It was a bit/alot awkward, but I smiled in my heart and talked myself out of feeling like an idiot. I quoted the verse, about God not rejecting me, but choosing me. Then it was time for the rodeo. So we get to the rodeo, and here comes the brother-in-law, with his European model- looking girlfriend! Turns out my friend was unaware he was again dating an old girlfriend. So I met her, and smiled, and just spent the remainder of the evening talking to God in my heart and reminding myself…I'm ok. God is with me and for me. Oh yeah, and I prayed for her. She looked "perfect" to me, but one day wrinkles are going to be a tad difficult. 🙂
A shout out to all of you other siestas out there!!!
Let's see:
1. I seen a little part of myself in every page of chapter 7…maybe I haven't had the same circumstances happen to me as those folks, but I could relate on some level to them all. It didn't pain me to read these stories, though. Oh, I feel for each and every precious soul, but it made me realize that others share the same feelings that I do and maybe, just maybe, I'm not crazy after all. (If that makes sense)
2. to finally live and enjoy life instead of letting this insecurity keeping me locked in my comfort zone I call my house.
3. My recent trigger was this very morning. Someone was answering questions about me on facebook and a 'friend', when asked if they thought I was cute, answered no. You know, that kinda stung even if this person is the same gender as I. How did I react? I 'unfriended' them. They were just a friend of a friend, but when I'm dealing with a deep rooted insecurity, I could do without those comments, thank you very much! by the way, I'm not a beauty queen, but I'm OK!!
Dignity for me means being able to accept who I am, flaws and all and knowing that when God formed me, He didn't make a mistake.
Karen
40's
Missouri
married
Brittney
Pflugerville, TX
20's
Married
1. I have to say that I kept saying "did I write this comment on the blog? or this one?" gosh I could see myself in each one of these. On page 123 there's a quote in one of the ladies comments that says "…He made it clear to me that He loved me and I was placed where He wanted me" – WOW I "know" this, but do I really KNOW this! My husband tells me all the time "Brittney, you are so blessed, can't you see that!" but I can't see the forest through the trees sometimes. My husband and best friend are the only ones that know this… but I went to the doctor this week for depression. It got so bad that I was crying EVERY day for a month. I left the doctors office crying because I was so embarrassed that I had to be taking "pills" for my insecurity and my emotions because they had gotten the best of me! I felt weak and VERY insecure!
2. A. Listed above… I am now on anti-depressant pills
B. Because I deserve it and God has certainly "placed me where he wants me"
C. Because I'm tired of feeling pitiful!
4. Dignity: being worthy
I must confess that I have read ahead and finished the book. I will answer this week's questions a little later. Right now I just want to give some praise to my precious Father.
Today I drove 30 miles into the next county to attend a seminar by myself. Because of the work God is doing in my life and the things that I learned in this book, I walked in to that room where I knew no one. I didn't feel an overwhelming urge to run away! I introduced myself to several people and never once sized up anyone. I actually enjoyed the seminar and feel so great about my self and my journey to security. I take no credit and give all the priase to God. That's it. Just had to share.
Tammy
50's
Glencoe, AL
Married
Beth-
Thank you so much for making that video, I am glad you heard God tell you that some of us were starting to drown! I will post my answers later, but I just wanted you to know that!
And one thing I'll add, I quit my job today, because it was making the worst of my insecurities present. So I got up and left it behind. I'm believing God for better!
Rebecca, I also stopped and prayed for you as I read your post. Hang in there!
Hi Beth, the part of Ch. 7 that hit me the most was on how "Insecurity can veil our vision & blind us to how blessed we are". That section on page 123 completley discribes my feelings; my life. Just last year I thought I had overcome my insecurity … then on my birthday a tidal wave of emotions shook me. I tend to take time off around my birthday and spend some time alone with God (about 2-3 days) and set my spiritual goals for the year. However, last year I had the most difficult time getting focused. I forgave my biological mother many years ago, but the flood of thoughts like; how could she have done that, consumed me. Thanks be to God I kept my appointment with Him and thanked Him for how He's blessed me and my family. My adoptive mom who is 83 soon to be 84 in May lives with us. She forgets a lot of things her Dr. thought she may be in the beginning stages of alziehmers (sp); however, she still recognizes all of us and was able to sign her name on my sissys b-day card this past Dec.!!
Top 3 Reasons … deal with my insecurity:
1. I've had it, I'm fed up, I'm done with it!
2. Want to be real once and for all and STAND FOR GOD with the confidence that comes from Him.
3. To allow room, so that He can cleanse my heart and my mine that I may love others the way He wants me to.
1. What hit home with me the most was in chapter 7 was the story where insecurity can make you act like an idiot in female friendships. If I feel like I did something wrong in a friendship and I haven’t heard from them I begin getting really nervous. I will think about the situation way too much and like the story I embarrass myself and regret everything that I did. Oh, the foolish things we do!
2. A. In the past I have held myself back from situations of my life because of my fears and insecurities. No longer do I want to be one who shrinks back. I want to be BOLD and FEARLESS, because God created me this way.
B. I want to believe that I am beautiful and that my value is found in God. I want to deal with this insecurity because I no longer want to depend upon my husband for this. Only God can fulfill me.
C. Lastly, I want to deal with my insecurities because I want to have confidence in all that I do. I want to realize my potential and that created me for a huge purpose!
3. A recent trigger of insecurity I’ve had lately happened this afternoon. I found out that this girl got hired at this place I applied too and I also found out another friend got a promotion and raise. I started becoming jealous and down on myself. I was wondering why I didn’t have a job like them. Was it my lack of experience? Was I not that great of a worker? Why is it that I don’t have the advantages they do? Little thoughts like these were prancing around in my brain and it definitely got a rise out of me. But I remembered that I am where I am for a reason and that God hasn't forgotten about me.
4. Dignity means God-given confidence and strength; strength that doesn’t need to be gained but has already been given.
Married
20’s
Charleston, SC
Patty
40'2
married
Lakeport, Fl
1. The part of chpt. 7 that resonated most w/ me:
"Lying has a titanic link to insecurity…. We deceived people out of fear that they will think us ignorant of out of the loop."
I grew up in a small town in south Alabama, in the 70's. One of my pet peeves has always been someone trying to trick me or make me look foolish, even in joking. Looking back, I realize I made myself look the most foolish by my over-reactions.
I cultivated the art of exaggeration/lying to make myself look more intellegent, or sometimes to just feel like I fit in (something I never did growing up).
2. Top 3 reasons why it's time to deal w/ my insecurity:
I'm tired of my insecurity affecting:
A. my relationship w/ my Lord
B. my relationship w/ my family
C. my ministry
3. I recently called my mother to share a great "mountain-top" ministry opportunity I had just experienced. i received (at least to my perception) the response I expected. She half-heartedly acknowledged what I had shared, then proceeded to share her own experience from the same weekend.
Before, this would have made me feel competitive w/ her, or upset w/ her for not validating me or making enough of a big deal over what I had done.
Instead, because I was prepared for my own reaction,I was able to rejoice w/ her over her ministry and only look to God for my validation and His approval!
4. Dignity to me is the ability to be the woman God created me to be without having to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE!
NEWBIE!
Dot
26
Ohio
1.) I can't count the number of times I've had emotional turmoil over something I said!
Insecurity giving a wrong impression: I'm afraid of making a bad impression so I keep to myself which backfires in the end making a cold or snobby impression
2.) a.) Lack of authenticity: I try to be who I think everyone wants me to be and am so worried about their perception I lose sight of who I am in Him.
b.) My marriage is going to be an uphill battle if I can't shake my insecurity. Reality is I won't be the only woman my husband ever sees and I need to find a way to function within that reality.
c.) My own peace: Keeping up the act and trying to please everyone and maintaining an inflated ego is hard work.
3.) Sitting in the same room as the object of my jealousy certainly got a rise out of me: I spent hours attempting to look as desirable as possible and carried myself with a completely fake confidence as if to prove "I'm not threatened by you."
Lindy
Scott, LA
30's
single
1. The woman who said, "I tried my best to get it all under my control, to be in charge and make things the way I wanted them to be." I don't have a husband or step-children like she did but I certainly have control issues!
2. 3 reasons why
A. Because this is where God lead me. He's ready for me to deal with it and I'm in a place where I am ready to deal with it.
B. I know that where I am right now in my life is where God wants me so it's time to accept it and not be insecure about things that I cannot change or God doesn't want to change.
C. Quite simply because I hate giving into "the punk". I'm tired of playing into his hands and giving him victory over me!
3. Most of my triggers right now have to do with my singleness. I don't act out when triggered as often as I used to but more times than I want to I give in. I know God has me still single right now for a reason so I need to accept it and stop feeling insecure about it.
4. To me dignity is accepting who and where I am and being ok with it regardless of what others think.
I just want to say "Happy Birthday" to Anonymous at 9:06 and I want you to know that I will be praying for you-to have a wonderful day celebrating "Beautiful You"-and I'm praying that you won't give up on this book.
I don't have my assignment done yet so I'll have to get back to post that but did anybody else laugh as hard as I did over the guy who couldn't pee if anyone could hear? I'm laughing because that is ME TOO!!!
Marge
50's
Chili WI
Dearest Beth,
I am the one who wrote about reading the book all the way through and that it left me raw. I listened with tears in my eyes to your video blog this morning and I believe I was blushing – even though I was alone. 🙂 But I did want you to know that I said out loud several times, "Yes, ma'am" to your admonition and encouragement to us. Thank you for what you said. You are being used by our Lord in a HUGE way in our lives.
I love you,
Your soon to be secure sister
Mindy, 28
Married in Missouri
I am a newbie but I had to take a moment to share about my conversation in my small town grocery store yesterday. Beth, I think you might have envisioned something like this happening when you titled your book.
So…I was checking out at the register and struck up a conversation with the cashier, a woman that I know somewhat. An opportunity arose for me to invite her to the exciting upcoming Beth Moore simulcast. Meanwhile, a women who attends church where my husband pastors, enters into the conversation and begins to sack my groceries. I mention to the cashier, named Gina, that the theme of the event is insecurity. The church member blurts out…"Gina!" as if to say "Oh Gina, you should really think about going to that cause you are the most insecure person I know!" Of course, the defensive walls quickly build and Gina responds somewhat sheepishly, "Well I'm not insecure. I am really happy with my life." The church member says "No, Mindy, tell her what it's really about" like there has to be something easier and more comfortable taking place at the event. I stumble through my words trying to rescue the situation…"Well, I am really insecure and it's ok. In fact, the more I read Beth Moore's book, the more I realize how insecure I am. It sounds horrible but it's really providing freedom for me in ways I didn't expect." I could tell by Gina's face, still flushed with embarrassment, that it didn't matter what I said, she was checked out of this conversation.
Oh Jesus, we need your help! We are too insecure to admit it!
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurity:
a: It keeps me from perceiving the boundless love God has for me and keeps me thinking that others are loved way more than me.
b: It isolates me from other people and hinders healthy relationships.
c: I want my children to grow up knowing the freedom and blessing of security instead of inheriting old patterns from me.
3. I told my husband that I didn't want to go on a family vacation because I was afraid the people staying at home would get together and have alot of fun without us. 🙂
(I know, its bad, but I'm being honest. Praise God I recognized the trigger and recited my spiral scriptures and I'm having victory over those silly feelings.) Bound no more!
Re: Vimeo (Nice Touch!)
Beth,
Thank you for taking the times to share with us…Sometimes reading through the posts I see many women with circunstances & life experiences that far outway my own and maybe God will be more inclided to heal them first! But even if our experience may seem little in co,parison, the impact in our lives can be shattering. I've learned not to minimize the events in my life, because God can and is just as concerened about me as His child to bring me to wholeness. I want my future generation not to struggle with my insecurities!
Patsy
New Jersey
FIRST! COMMENT! EVER!!! So excited!
I could list a whole littany of reasons that I'm bound and determined to get rid of insecurity's grip on me, but it all comes down to only one that matters: INSECURITY IS NOT OF GOD!!! IT IS NOT HIS AGENDA!!! Not only is it not His agenda, it is the ENEMY'S AGENDA!!! There is NOTHING that makes me more fired up than that. My Father in Heaven LOVES ME more than I can even understand- His capacity for love exceeds human understanding. Do I think He SERIOUSLY means for me to be held back by the results of other people's meanness? Ohhhhno. Not one little bit! I could list a million reasons for getting rid of insecurity, but the only one that gets me FIRED UP and SPITTIN MAD enough to REALLY get into it is that not only does it not come from my Father, it gets in the way of me and Him together!!!!!!
Brittney
Lexington, KY
Age: 27
1. The part that hit me the most was realizing how my insecurities have kept me from accepting love. So many times I've wondered if God just tolerates me.
2. Top Three Reasons To Deal with Insecurity:
a. I'm exhausted…and starbucks is too expensive to use as a "pick-me-up" everyday!!
b. My life depends on it and so does that of my future children
c. I want the blessing Christ died to give me. I don't want His death to be in vain in my life!!!
3. I'm a survivor of a school shooting that happened 12 years ago and I just found out TODAY that the shooter was granted a new hearing. This triggered my insecurity like a sudden volcanic erruption. I started to react out of panic…but then I heard God say to me, "Brittney, do you want to go back down this road again??" And I kid you not, without hesitation, I answered out loud, "No! No Sir, I don't. But I don't know where else to go." And in that moment God calmed my spirit and told me to He wanted me to try trusting Him AND believing Him….(at the same time!) and for the time being, by the grace of God, I'm doing just that. I'm going on with living…and God is taking care of the rest.
4. Dignity = knowing that I'm worth it!!!
This is my first time commenting. I related to many scenarios you wrote of in chapter 7. What hit me the most as I've sat thinking over my life, is how I made the biggest fool of myself by making my ex husband "god". When I discovered his many affairs, and even children with other women, I acted crazy in response. Out of insecurity, I stayed with him even though he was not truly repentant. In my heart I knew he wasn't, but I was too afraid of facing the reality of being a single mom of 5 kids. I said I forgave him, and yet I was deeply wounded, angry, and bitter. I lashed out at him verbally, I threw things, I screamed and cried. I stalked his every move. I knew I was unloved, not cared for and that he only stayed with me because, ironically, I was the stable one. But really, my "craziness" and "foolish" behavior only justified (in his mind) his continued unfaithfulness. I acted the fool over and over because my "god" kept failing me. It wasn't until I discovered wholehearted obedience to the Word of God in how I responded to sin being done against me, and trusting in His goodness and love for me, that led me to a new life, both spiritually and emotionally. I am fiercely determined NEVER to replace my God with man again. I will never again allow fear and insecurity to keep me stuck in a pit and in a cycle of sin. Thank you Beth for writing this book. I think you wrote it for me, for such a time as this.
Stephanie
23
Single (in a relationship)
California
1. What hit home with me?
The heading "Insecurity can keep us from accepting compliments and, far worse, from accepting love." I feel insecure sometimes when my boyfriend displays his love for me, whether with words, affection, or expressions. I feel nervous, like maybe it's not really real, it's just a disappointment waiting to happen. That's frustrating. I want to accept his love openly and freely, but it can be very difficult; I don't want to get hurt.
2. Top 3 reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
a) My insecurity is clogging the flow of joy in my life.
b) I'm sick and tired of wasting my energy on worrying about my own worth and how I measure up. I'm so tired of being held back by my own fears.
c) I want to achieve more.
3. Recent trigger:
Just today, I went to the store to return a lamp shade. As I walked up to the customer service counter, I made eye contact with the woman behind the counter and I said 'hello' with a smile. Here's the trigger: the woman didn't say anything back and went about her business like I didn't exist. For a brief moment, I felt kind of small, like maybe I had done something wrong, but then in a flash I remembered, 'No, I am fine, I can lift my head up. This woman is just being rude (for whatever reason).' And so I stood at the counter directly in front of her, waiting calmly to be helped, feeling just fine even though this person had just snubbed me.
4. Dignity:
Dignity is standing with the confidence of knowing that God made you with a purpose and He placed you in every situation of your life for a purpose; dignity is not being afraid.
Hi Miss Beth & sisters,
I just started my readings in this book the other day, but I happy to say that I did get through Chapter 2. However, I need some extra prayers with this "thing", PLEASE ! It seems to me that nearly every time that I do one of Beth's studies like this one, I get extreme challenges in my life that seem to be "thrown at me" during these times.
And, I would almost bet money [even though I don't gamble] that there are others "out there" who are having similar difficulties in their lives . . .
In Christ,
Jennifer
Single
40's
Wisconsin
Just a comment:
"I'm insecure & Beth I think you wrote this book for me…"
Common thread throughout the posts..like the windows 7 commercial…Love it we're all women seeking God together!!
Ann
Janice, 60's
Widow
Lake Forest, Calif
Chapter 5 & 6
As a child, there was instability in the home due to numerous divorces, moments of madness, and financial woes. In addition, I had significant losses while growing up. At four, my favorite babysitter moved away, even as I promised to be a good girl. I felt abandoned. At the age of five, my father died. As I got older I felt abandoned physically and emotionally.
Question 2
In the book it states that the root of chronic insecurity is often the primal fear that no one will take care of us. In our home, there were no hugs and kisses lavished on the children. I never knew people did that until later in life. As an adult I looked for care in one abusive relationship after another.
God has been speaking to me loud and clear since I started this study on unsecurity. Without going into the marvelous details, God totally made it possible to attend a concert of my dreams,around Valentine's Day. Then the next morning,He let me know doors would be opening for me that were previously closed. There was more, but those are the bare bones highlights of God's love experienced by me most recently.
–Part 1–
First of all, let me say to Beth–Girlfriend, you have got me fired up! I was ready to post my OWN video message in response to yours! Why? Because I had a major breakthrough tonight!! This Siesta is on the road to recovery. I still have a long way to go, but I'm closer than I have ever been before to being all God created me to be! After a 33 year struggle (yes, I've been insecure since birth!) with insecurity, I'm finally starting to get it! I know God said a big DUH-HUH tonight! I'm just so incredibly excited that I have to share this with all of you!!! FYI, I haven't posted anything in weeks so I may just write a book.. you might wanna grab a mocha and meet me back in five because this may take a while LOL
First of all, let me try to explain the role of insecurity in my life because the fact that I'm here and somewhat sane is a miracle! Insecurity is like an addiction to me. Like a junkie, I know it's bad for me.. it's not who I want to be.. but I can't live without it! Ridiculous huh? I know, right?! What can I say girls, my "roots" run deep! I didn't respond to last week's assignment because I COULD NOT narrow down my primary sources of insecurity to just 2! I exhausted myself trying, and then felt like a big fat loser because I have so many insecurities that I can't just be secure enough to just choose a few.. Sigh…You see, I grew up in a very physical and emotionally abusive home. When I went to bed at night, I never knew if I would wake up the next morning. The result? A chronic case of insomnia that I still can't get rid of (look at the time stamp.. it's 2 am now). As a young teenager, my 19 yr. old brother was brutally murdered. That created enough fear and insecurity in and of itself, but my mother became VERY overprotective creating the chicken little syndrome.. I've spent many a day indoors to prevent the "sky from falling". After that I began to look for love in all the wrong places! Result of that costly mistake? A teenage marriage (also abusive) that ultimately ended with a miscarriage and a divorce by age 21. Talk about damaged goods? I was sure that I was broken beyond repair! That is until God sent the most caring, loving, and compassionate man into my life. He loves and serves the Lord..He's a family man.. a great dad to our 3 beautiful children.. an amazing husband (cleans, does laundry, gives massages, and makes time for date night each week so that we stay connected with one another). He has been incredibly supportive of especially in Ministry. Ok, girls, you can stop gagging now. I promise this all has significance.. and it's not to make you sick or green with envy (grin).. My point is that even with all of these blessings, not even a wonderful man like he is could "fix" me. It's not as if he hasn't tried to glue the pieces of my broken soul back together!! Oh yeah, and did I tell you what his spiritual gift is? Encouragement. Boy did God know how important that gift would be in order to be married to a train wreck like me! And if "stupid is as stupid does" then I should feel dumber than dirt because insecurity makes a fool of me on a daily basis. Just this morning I caught myself primping for a hair appointment! After nearly choking from the cloud of Vavoom, I looked in the mirror and questioned my reasoning for that one.. spend 30 mins to style my hair only to have it styled again by a professional. Seriously?! Did I check my brain at the bathroom door? Insecurity makes me cry when there's no good reason… pick out every tiny flaw in everything around me and ESP the flaws in me (oh yeah, perfection is most definitely my favorite form of "art)… hyperventilate when there's no real fear or threat.. only my imagination getting the best of me, scream like a monkey on meth when things don't go my way, and nag like there's no tomorrow when I feel like I have no control over things!
–PART 2–
Ok, so here's the irony in all of this. God has been calling me into Girls Ministry for a while now. And what started as a weekly playdate for my 9 yr old daughter and 2 of her friends , has grown into a weekly Girls Nite Out with almost 30 girls ages 5-12. I would never have imagined in a million years how much passion He has given me for my girlz! My real ones and my "adopted" ones.. Those girls are my heart, and I really want to reach them for Christ!! But me as their leader? Yes, I have a passion for this ministry, but ZERO confidence in my calling to minister!
This week after Girlz Club, I came home to enjoy my weekly pity party complete with cake and balloons! Instead of rejoicing over the amazing things that God is doing in the lives of these girls, I constantly feel defeat in my ability to teach them. Sometimes I get tongue tied (poor Moses.. I sooo know how he felt).. Sometimes I don't feel like I really reach them…I wonder if they like me (it's easy to get caught up in girl drama.. and working with that age group can send your insecurities into overdrive..big time!). blah blah blah! So, I called a conference with God– listing all of my inadequacies..and then turned in my resignation! Because it's obvious that I can't teach 10 yr old girlz what I can't even understand myself!!
But God wouldn't hear of it tonight!! He spoke directly to my soul.. reminding me of who I am and whose I am! All of the things I've been teaching those girls these last few months, He reminded me. I'm a princess too! Created for a royal purpose.. to bring honor to my King! More precious to him than rubies or diamonds! And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.. I don't have to be gorgeous in order to be beautiful (to Him). I don't have to be worthy in order to find my worth in Him. I don't have to be the best at what I do.. I just have to be willing to do His will. I don't have to be inferior or superior to anyone else..because I'm just enough for Him. I don't have to feel responsible for the bad choices of those around me or even feel like I deserved their abuse.. But I also don't have to nurture hate and unforgiveness for their cruelty because hurting people hurt other people. Being a victim isn't an indicator of my worth as a person. And I don't have to have confidence in my own abilities in order to put my faith in His ability! Because every single tragic circumstance of my life has been created and/or allowed for a "time such as this". WOW! And after He empowered me with the truth, I felt me Him lead me to log in for this week's assignment which I would usually wait until Friday morning.. And there was Beth's video message. I had tears streaming down my face when she spoke of teaching and ministering to "tween" age girls. That God would use such an incredible and inspiring woman of character and grace to affirm his calling for me.. is just too much! For the first time in a very long time, I felt secure in His love for me.. and it's enough!! So, there it is..my heart as an open book. I normally wouldn't be able to do anything like this in fear of "rejection".. I feel very vulnerable through my writing. But you know what, I'm ok with that. In fact, I'm ok if no one reads this post (it is pretty long..lol) I'm just feeling a little free tonight to get some things off of my chest! I'm ready less stress, a little less worry, and a good night's sleep! I don't know about you girls, but I'm tired of Insecurity being my BFF. It HAS been a bad friend for way too long.. so what do you say we get some new ones? 😉
I have a burning question… I have hesitated to write because I do not want to be a stumbling block to others. However, I NEED to know how to make sense in my mind how this process is GOD and more than just "mind over matter". I have been a Christian for years, I read the Word daily & pray, and I memorize Scripture. I just long to really know the "Healer" and to know it is more than my just trying hard to do what's right. Any thoughts, Siestas?
2. A. after reading much of your book I realized that perhaps a lot of the reasons I can't break free on some items is insecurity and the impact it has on me and my family.
B.I have lied to many times because of insecurity and want to break that chain.
C. I want to break generation sin and not pass it on to my sons.
3. The triggers I deal with are binging, anger, deception. I thought about these and I didn't realize how much they are rooted in insecurity. I agree with your statement that you believe that all of your chains somehow were a result of your deeply rooted insecurity (hope I got that right). Time to get rid of this baggage!!!
Andrea
Lancaster, PA
30's
Married
Right on, Beth! We are more than conquerors!
Married/Divorced
33/34
A friend and I are doing this book together. She is divorced due to her spouse's infidelity. My marriage is struggling b/c of the same reason. Reading this book has been so eye opening for both us. We haven't posted before but felt the need with your question on why we have to end this insecurity!
#1 Reason!!!
We have both realized through the hurts and rejections in our lives that we do feel that we are not worthy of love, our feelins are not valid, indeed we are not valid, regardless of all that we have accomplished in Christ. We are both devoted followers of Jesus and seek him in everyway possible. BUT our insecurities are HINDERING OUR WALK WITH HIM!!! What better reason do we have to be victorious over these lies than to do so, so that we may fully walk, hear, and know our Lord? We both realized this is the number one reason we have trouble "hearing" from God, experiencing God, and feeling love from God. And by golly, we are mad! We will not let satan win! We will not let our hurts win! We want God! So goodbye to insecurities! Thank you!!!
I'm sorry I haven't responded in the correct format. I couldn't help it. This has been burning in my heart since we started the book and realized what we had been doing. I had to share! Thanks!
I'm leading a study with the book on Thursday nights. I wanted to thank you for your video post on the blog. I showed it to the ladies last night and it certainly made a point that I was trying to. Thanks so much for taking the time to do that.
Barbara
51
married
El Paso, TX
Dear Anonymous at 11:21pm who was raw after reading the book…Hang in there. As Beth would say, you are so loved! — by God and by all of us that are journeying along side of you. I had a really raw season a couple of years ago and it took me a while to accept God's healing. Praying for you as we all finish the book.
Marcia,
Mpls, MN
marilyn
61
missouri
1. the thing that hit me most about chapter 7 was the many ways in which we desperate human beings try to fill up our own cups; how little we would settle for and that the miserable little we would settle for…..seems to be beyond our grasp…….PRAISE YOU LORD JESUS. i see myself in many similar situations, over the years, described in this chpater.
2.
a. it's time to deal with the last vestiges of my insecurity because insecurity and the messes and drama it brings is a HUGE distraction from what the LORD is purposing to accomplish in my life. when i'm so insecure that i can't mentally or emotionally get beyond myself…..there's not much room for the bright 'hope and future' God's promised me.
b. i'm tired of taking responsibility for other people and what they think or don't think; what they like or don't like…………i'm ready to just be me and to let others just be who they are and to let GOD just work all things out………..in 2 words STOP trying to 1. manipulate
2. control
c. i'm ready to clear my mind and just live what's left of my life in the power and purpose of GOD's plan for my every day.
d. (i know i was supposed to quit at c) and most importantly………i am sick of giving the enemy any victory over my thoughts and my life. as the years have passed, i've got better at recognizing him. where there's strife and misery, you'll usually find him smack in the middle of it!
insecurity doesn't strike me often., any more………..but often enough. insecurity always makes us feel like LESS than we should be………….less than other people are. there's no support for that in GOD's word.. we all need to remember that valorus (is that a word) proverbs 31 woman and remember GOD sees us as HIS precious ones…………precious enough that HE gave HIS only begotten SON for us.
3. i lost my 16 year old daugther 11 years ago, a wound and a loss that cannot be measured. so, b/c of this i have looked to other family relationships to fill this profound void in my life. when my son married, i had hoped that GOD was sending me a new daughter to ease some of the pain of that loss. it didn't work out that way. it was pretty much of a disaster from the get-go. the marriage didn't last. now, my son has remarried and i find myself longing, again, to have a relationship with this new daughter in law that would ease some of the pain of not having my own precious daughter here. but, ……….i have to remind myself, often, that it's a work only GOD can do. as much as i would love a wonderful relationship to grow, it's not in my hands and if it doesn't happen, it's no one's fault. mind you, i have a fine relationship with my daughter in law………..i just long for it to be all that it can be…….ok……….i'd like to feel like she likes me almost as much as her own mother, right??? but PRAISE YOU LORD JESUS every time my mind goes there and i'm tempted to feel slighted, in the least, i have the reminder of this Bible study NOT to go there………….GOD bless us all as we conquer new ground and take back what the enemy has stolen from us………..time and again.
I have never commented before in my life! Just wanted to say that 2 of my adult daughters and I are going through this together and emailing our answers to one another. From our emails, we are learning so much more about one another. Individually, we are gaining much insight on this subject. I am looking forward to wringing the neck of this "insecurity" creature! Is anyone else seeing a pattern? Rejection keeps showing up in my answers! Discovering the treasure that I am in His eyes…
Gay
Santa Rosa, CA
Married
50's
I have begun to realize that a large part of my insecurity lies in the fact that I keep reading about how wonderfully blessed so many other women are and I compare myself and God's love for me with that. I have decided that in order to let Him heal me I must stop reading this blog, as well as so many others. My life does not even begin to compare with what I read and it makes me feel and think that God does not love me nearly that much, and certainly not in those ways. I just continually beat myself up for not being as talented, smart, witty, beautiful, outspoken, etc. as all of you.
I realized the other day that I have tried so hard to pattern my life and walk with Jesus after all the Bible teachers and blog writers that I have read. I think that if only I did things that way my life would be better, my marriage would be better, my relationship with the Lord would be better, on and on it goes. When it doesn't work out and the rug is pulled out from under me I feel crushed and badly bruised.
So this is the last time I am posting and reading this blog or any other that I have felt the need to read on a daily basis. I will continue to read the book and finish it out, but I believe that I really need to continue this journey on my own so that God can truly heal my hurting soul. I desperately need to hear His voice and no one else. I know there was a time when I did not compare myself with others and I need to go back to that place. I have so often told God that I understand why He loves you like He does, I just can't see that He loves me that way too. I want that so much and won't ever know it if I am continually comparing my life with yours.
Thank you for your devotion to the Lord and to women's ministry. Your study "Jesus the One and Only" was the one that really turned it around for me 10 years ago. I have walked through it twice, as well as A Woman's Heart (twice), Believing God, Daniel, Breaking Free (twice), A Heart Like His, Beloved Disciple, Stepping Up, To Live Is Christ, and currently working through Esther.
Again, thank you and may God continue to bless you and all you do in His name.
(No need to post this, just felt I needed to put it down so I can lay it down).
Patti
Ohio
50's
married
This is for God'sGirlzRock-Part 2
I absolutely loved what you said in your "But God wouldn't hear of it tonight" paragraph. Yes, it was long =) but it was oh so encouraging! If it's o.k. with you, I would like to save those words for future reference because every now and then I need reminding of exactly what you wrote. Thanks a million, no a billion, for your willingness to share your heart. God is great!
Ivy
Georgia
21
single
2.Why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A. it's effecting the plans He has for me and dreams He has given me to accomplish for His glory. How am I suppose to go live in a country where I literally do not know anyone if I am insecure? How am I going to walk up to a homeless man on the street and talk to him confidently if I am insecure within myself? Now, I have done both of these things, but being insecure while doing it is definately not easy. I have decided that if I am willing to serve God ANYWHERE HE leads me that I have to get my security back! He wants me to!
B.As I have said before, I am a sociology major, I deal with a lot of wordly people, atheists, and agnostics. Now, if I am a light in a dark place for Him…shouldn't I believe that He is able…to use me?!? Insecurity, I have never been more over you.
C.Maybe I am off base here, but I think my future husband (wherever he is) deserves a woman who is confident in her God and has this security within herself.
3. A major trigger for me was at my college campus a little over a week ago. I had taken my sociology of religion test, which I studied extensively for and I knew that I was going to do well. I took the test and I felt pretty good about it. But I have test anxiety so I can never tell:) The next week we were going to get the test back. A girl in my class asked me how I thought I did. And do you know what I responded?!? I told her it was super hard (which was the truth) and that I wasn't sure but I was just hoping for a decent grade. Insecurity all over the place. AFter I said it, I was disgusted with myself. I told her that so when I got it back if I didn't do as well as I knew I was going to do I wouldn't be embarrassed. It has to stop! Oh, I made the highest grade in my college class. Insecurity you are disgusting!
Tammi from 3/4 around 2pm…I had to write a note to you here about your scare! I have so been there. When I was 30 I had what I thought was a dry patch of skin on face. I just assumed hormones from the babies I kept having. It wound being cancer. I had surgery to have it removed. A plastic surgeon(he came in to close what the wound) wanted me to see how bad the wound was open so I would think he was brilliant by how he closed it…I said no but he put the mirror in my face and I literally screamed in the OR. I made the nurses cry! I had over 24 stitches and lost feeling in the lower lid of my eye. Try getting mascara on that without poking yourself a few times and you figure it out!
Once I was bandaged up and my darling husband met me at the door I just sobbed.
It would be a few months before it all healed and I didn't have bandages anymore. But that darn scar…
You see I was cute. I was no Christie Brinkley, but I was cute…and now people were looking away from me or staring at the scar…But it got smaller with time…I had a few more kids. I began speaking at woman's groups again. Eventually I let people take my picture again (scar free side only).
But reading your post touched such a hidden spot on my heart this morning. I love sharing what Jesus has done for me. I love to lead people to prayer. But public ministry? I am middle aged now, I have half a face that looks ten years younger then the other side (now I want them to photograph the side with the scar!) and my teeth will never look pretty. Oh and I am not a skinny little thing anymore either. The trouble is, I know where my gifts are and I know I was called. He called me to write a devotional and I did…but I am a bit dyslexic. Boy was that rough. Even writing here makes me a little uncomfortable…what if someone thinks I am stupid for spelling things wrong. The blasted lies of insecurity! By the way, I am still kinda cute and a smart cookie to boot! LOL!
Your post had me on my face…the young side and old, giving me rug burn on my nose for both of us. Some of us have scars right smack in the face, some of us have scars that run so much deeper in our souls. Imagine if we trusted Him enough to use both? Dear sister, you are one I will pray for by name, as you heal outside and in. Be of good courage dear. We just got to learn the lesson that our beauty is from Him sooner then most girls. Our kinship may not lead to a meeting dirt side, but I will look for you in glory and pray for you and with you until we all get there. There we will be perfected but I just bet we will know each other, right off the bat!
Prayers for your healing inside and out. Love to you, the kind that can only come from Him. Thank you for your post…you just helped me heal a scar all over again.