So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
Pamela 
2a. for Trinity, Faith and Eden, my daughters. I tell them they are beautiful and wonderful but when I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I am so ugly, I do not think I am backing up my teaching to them.
b. for everyone around me. that they will see my security comes from Christ and thus want that for themselves.
c. for myself. so i will stop believing the accuser and his relentless lies.
monica
30s
m with 4 kids
toronto, canada (transplanted aussie)
2.a-Worn out from the fear of loosing friends/people in my life
b. Believe God has much in store for me, and this (insecurity) is getting in the way-He designed me to live life with His peace on the inside regardless of what others are or aren't doing
c. Want total freedom, and then I can help encourage/model to others fullness, and freedom
3. Yesterday, I learned that a dream I have prayed for a couple years was being put on hold for now. It had looked like it was going to happen this summer. I was in awe of God, and so excited as I saw Him open incredible doors. As I processed last night or rather at 2 am (unable to sleep), I began to tailspin with insecurities of, "what's wrong with me, I"m not even married, don't have kids…." Those are other dreams I've gotten to hand to God, but last night, I began to pick those up…I quickly caught myself with, "She is clothed with dignity and strength, I AM clothed with STRENGTH and DIGNITY! My value comes from who God says I am! Not going down this road! God is still God! And like being married and having children would solve it all-I know better than that-that is not true!!! :)God must be my source! I AM CLOTHED WITH STRENGTH AND DIGNITY!! I am valued even if this other dream never comes to pass." I get to still live fully knowing God holds my future, and He still has amazing plans in store for me.
3. Dignity-great value, priceless
Pamela
P
OR
30's
Single
1. Insecurity comes out in an endless variety of ways, but it's almost always self-destructive.
2. a) I have two daughters. One is almost 5 and one is 4 months. I know the world is going to be brutal for them, and I want our home to be a place of security. b) My husband deserves a wife who doesn't drain the life out of him. c) My friends who don't know Jesus need to see the security He brings to my life so they will want Him.
3. Last week, we had to fill out a form at preschool stating which school our child will attend for Kindergarten next year (public, private, or home school). All the parents filled out the same sheet, like a sign-up sheet, so you could see what everyone else had written down. I'm a little unsure of my decision, but I went ahead and wrote it down with a sure hand, trying not to think about what other parents who were making a different choice thought of mine.
4. Dignity is my sense of the worth I have in my Creator's eyes.
Angie
Blacksburg, VA
married
30s
To Country Fried, march 5th, 8:56pm.
I read your comment as I was about to leave the house this morning and did not have time to answer, but I have prayed for you all morning, and also prayed that God would get one of the siestas who is better with words to comment to you, but here I am back home and no one has said anything, so I feel God telling me to speak up.
First, I am confused by your comment – wondering just what sort of upbringing you had and what you were taught would happen if you were to turn to God. Are you saying you were taught to worship someone other than God? And that you will somehow go to hell if you turn to God? Please, Please, please pick up the bible, the true word of the One True God that has survived for thousands of years, and seek and see for yourself what is true. The One and Only God of the universe created you and desires for you to know and love Him. He welcomes EVERYONE who believes in Him and accepts that His Son Jesus was sent to earth to be their Saviour. He will not turn you away, no matter what you have been taught, no matter how many years you have spent without Him. He alone has the power to keep us from hell. Prayer is our connection to Him, and I am constantly asking Him for wisdom or strength or just to help me find the keys, since He saw me put them down. I long for you to reach out to Him in prayer, and to accept that HE IS ABLE TO LOVE YOU, in fact HE ALREADY DOES!
Siestas, help me out here, I never seem to be the one that has all the right words to say like others I know do.
also a nurse
50's
also Texas
married
Dear Beth,
I got on here to ask you if you would take time to respond to a quote I just saw outside a Chiropractor office, but I read your post from today first, and now I think maybe the quote makes sense.
It says,
Security is your ability to produce.
If you have time, will you tell me what you think about that?
Thank you so much for the video and for Saturday morning challenge! I'm on it!
Hollie
30's married
Atlanta, GA
1.Chapter 7 was an emotional journey in to so many areas of my heart that I had already been exploring. I was so touched by many of the stories because I was that woman, if not outwardly, inwardly. I was particularly touched by the desperation of the woman who “set out to have an affair.” I just cried because her story is my story because of the essence of her deep wound, her deep insecurity, and her stupidity. I have never had an affair, but I see how capable I am of such awful things because of my insecurity and emotional debilitation.
I just had a conversation with my husband that it is amazing that the men we consider so great in our faith were murderers and adulterers. I determined that I would no longer let my past, my mistakes, and deliberate sins, my insecurity determine my future. True repentance is not feeling sorry for yourself and beating yourself up over and over. It is being sick and tired of walking in sin, hurting others, and changing your mind. It truly is grabbing on to the grace and mercy of God, believing that His grace truly is sufficient. His Truth DOES set us free.
2.A. I want to stop hurting others with my insecurity.
B. I want my kids to walk in security.
c. I want to be free – no longer a slave to fear and sin.
The one of the definitions of fear from Webster’s 1828 dictionary is, Fear is the passion of our nature which excites us to provide for our security, on the approach of evil. What stood out to me here is it “excites US to provide for our security”. I am not walking in love or by His Spirit when I begin to provide for my own security rather than trusting God for it.
Furthermore, usually there is no “approaching evil” just my perception. Yes, some of that is bound up in some real evil that I was exposed to as a child, but I can’t and won’t insist on living there and continuing to bite the hands of those who would bring healing to my injured soul.
3.Someone was talking to me with that same ole condescension and contempt I used to hear in my father’s voice. Did it get a rise out of me? Shamefully, yes. It was humbling, however, and it exposed darkness in me that brought into light set me free from the lie of fear as I told myself the truth about it and repented (to God and the one I freaked out on).
4.Honestly, I really didn’t know what dignity meant. So, I looked it up to get a clearer understanding. Boy was I surprised. Here it is:
DIGNITY, n. [L., worthy.]
1. True honor; nobleness or elevation of mind, consisting in a high sense of propriety, truth and justice, with an abhorrence of mean and sinful actions; opposed to meanness. In this sense, we speak of the dignity of mind, and dignity of sentiments. This dignity is based on moral rectitude; all vice is incompatible with true dignity of mind. The man who deliberately injures another, whether male or female, has no true dignity of soul. (http://www.1828-dictionary.com/d/search/word,dignity)
This said it all. I need to value myself and others. I need “true dignity of soul.” Thank you, Beth for being a guide on the journey. I feel like scales are coming off my eyes, burdens off my back, and shackles loosed from my feet as I walk forward into the freedom that Christ has set us free for! Hallelujah! My husband has been telling me how good I look lately (And it’s not my hair or makeup; He says it’s my smile). I am beginning to live and love the way I have longed for. It feels so good!
Heather
Pottstown, PA
Divorced/Engaged
20's
I really enjoyed reading Ch.7. I know Beth mentioned about persevering through it and not skipping ahead…but I loved those stories b/c it made me feel not so crazy!! I would never dream of skipping it. Ha!
1) The story of being insecure about our men on p.128. That sounded just like me!! How silly! Also, the story on p. 131 about insecurity keeping us from accepting compliments. If someone compliments me, I always say to myself "no way, they are just trying to be nice. And I'm not worthy of love". I also find it harder to accept compliments/love from my fiance b/c I feel like he "needs" to say those things. Ugh!
2) My top 3 reasons are: a) It takes too much energy to be worrying all the time what other people think. That time could be used in reaching others for the Lord. b) God made me the way I am and I am perfect in His image. I should let go and let God take care of me. he is the only one who I need to honor. c) It's eating me up inside at certain times/situations, to the point I feel sick. It's time to buck up and live for Jesus in how He wants me to live!
3) This story seems silly, but I guess that's why I'm reading this book! I watch 3 children full time M-F (ages 1 1/2, 3 1/2, and 7). There's not much consistency or discipline in the home (I'm sorry if that sounds judgmental!) So when I'm there, I am firm and consistent. The 3 1/2 year old always "acts up" when his parents get home from work, not sure why, but he does. The mom comes home from work yesterday and the 3 1/2 year old starts yelling and goes to the side by side fridge/freezer. He opens the freezer and takes out what he wants for dinner, but doesn't shut the door. I told him to shut the door several times, but he didn't listen. So the mom says, "It's okay, I'll close it". A lot of thoughts went through my head…a)did she think I was to harsh to tell him to shut the door? b) did she want me to shut it? c) does she hate me or is she mad at me for telling her kid what to do? d) how is he going to learn if she keeps doing things for him and "rescuing" him?
4) Dignity means to have the respect of others and of God. To live a life full of compassion for others. To bring honor to God.
Thanks, Beth, for such a wonderful book! Can't wait to read more….
1. The first thing that hit home for me was that I was not alone. Secondly, some I could relate to more than others. Insecurity can confine us and Insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't even want to do were two that really hit me in the gut.
2. A. So that I am more comfortable in my own skin. I know that we were to give 3 answers and the rule-follower in me really wants to, but truthfully that is the bottom line. I have NEVER truly felt comfortable in my own skin and insecurity is at the root of this. It has taken me YEARS to figure that out and I am so thrilled to now have a book to get me beyond recognition of that fact to actual freedom.
3. Going to Victoria's Secret to purchase a new bra and thinking the very minute I stepped in the door that everyone there was such much smaller, cuter, (you fill in the blank). Yes, it got a rise out of me. Sadly, it wasn't unitl I was sitting at my computer to answer these questions that I realized my panic and almost leaving the store was this ugly beast rearing its ugly head. I still have work to do, girlfriends!
4. Dignity – the ability to hold ones head up high, without pride, but because of the One who loves me and gave his life for me.
Yvonne
Louisville, KY
40's
married
The part of chapter 7 that hit home was that "insecurity can cause us to do things we would never even want to do"….and then it can also make us "overcompensate" to fill up the hole it leaves. Ouch !!
My top 3 reasons to deal with this now, 1. I'm tired & exhausted from it
2. I'm too old for this and 3. I want truth in my inner parts…..my definition of dignity means holding my head high enough to see God holding my hand and absorbing all His love, acceptance, grace and delight in me. Let it be, Lord Jesus. Pam in San Diego, 50ish, married
Tamara
Kelowna, BC, Canada
late 20s, single
1) Much of chapter 7 hit home with me, but two of them in big ways. The first being that "insecurity can make you act like an idiot in female relatinoships." I have so many memories of people I thought were my friends ditching and telling me they didn't want me around anymore that I live with that fear in most of my current friendships and I do dumb things because of this insecurity. The second being that "insecurity can keep us from accepting compliments and, far worse, love." I live like I have to earn the approval and love of others, and yet I never believe them when they say them. I don't feel like I've done good enough for that to really be true.
2) Reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
a) It's holding me back from doing what I know God has clearly called me to do
b) I'm tired of the underlying fear that the other person doesn't really like me or want me as a friend that is in all of my friendships.
c) I want to finally be able to have good and lasting female friendships where I don't push them away when they get too close.
3) This past week, there was a review of some reporting I had done for work. When I was pulling the paperwork for it, I discovered an error that I had made. As a perfectionist, I was not pleased and I was definitely in a situation that triggers insecurity. I started the negative thoght process that I was going to lose my job over it. I gave in to my insecurities – even though it was something that could be easily corrected and really wasn't the big deal I had made it into.
4) Dignity means that I'm worhty of respect and have value because I'm God's prized creation. No matter what someone else says or what happens that doesn't change. God gives me dignity and I don't have to allow anything or anyone to take it away.
Pamela
56
Mount Vernon, WA
Thank you Beth for your faithfulness to God in writing this book. My insecuriity started at the age of 7 when my mother died
It had always been such a painful time of year March 6. You would think that after all these years the pain would ease but no my heart was always painful. This year reading and doing the study of your book God is really healing and binding up my broken heart and I know God will put back the pieces
of my heart and make me whole again.
I am way behind in my reading due to a family emergency, but I happened to watch the video message from Beth and wanted to just voice some encouragement to the fight against insecurity. I still have my struggles, not so much with looks, but life events. Every bad thing that has ever happened to me came out of the blue with no warning, so my old coping strategy was to worry about everything and expect failure. Now, mind you, that logic never failed, but that is no way to live. Christ's victory ensures a better outlook that that! My "Chicken Little" personality would cry to God – "What if xyz happens???". He finally (when I let Him) said, "So what if xyz does happen. You will survive and thrive or I will bring you home to me. You can't lose with me on your side". I also learned anything that gave me an intense feeling of dread was a lie from the father of lies. I am a much braver, more positively hopeful person than before. I look forward to finishing the book for more strategies!
Louisa
Tennessee
40's
married
Theresa
50's decade
Married
Alabama
1. "Insecurity can make a girl act like a guy." This hit home with me because I have a very athletic daughter. She feels very secure in that role because she's very good at what she does. I believe if she could see herself as a young woman outside that boundary she would see she could be secure there as well. I want to help her.
2. A. To become a better wife and mother and grandmother.
B. To be able to put myself to good use serving the Lord.
C. To be a shining example.
3. My trigger was "You met someone you really admire and said something stupid." I have to laugh here because that someone I met was you. I didn't say anything stupid but I kinda rambled and babbled…like you do when you finally make it to Santa's lap and your mind goes blank.
4. Dignity means holding yourself erect, carrying confidence, and never giving in to what you know is not right.
So I also had already finished the book before finding this blog. But I've still been reading the postings each week just as little reminders and encouragments of this journey i'm now on after the book. I feel like this book has put me on a journey that I had no idea what i was getting myself into. I'm 22 years old and have dealt with a lot of issues and addictions already in my young life. I've been a believer for about 5 years but i never could figure out why I kept letting so much hold me back and why Ive always felt like something has held me back from fully pursuing Christ. I know realized its my INSECURITY. so to answer question two of why do I need to deal with my insecuirty. The most important reason I can say is that it has affected my realtionship with God. Ive held back and not fully let myself follow Him with everything because I just could't let go of so much in my life. I hate to admit my lack of faith but I was afraid he'd let me down like a lot of people in my life. over and over again when lifes gotten ruff or i didnt get what i wanted, Ive went back to this same statement, "HE JUST DOESN"T WANT ME" after all he's not the first one who hasn't. Its a lie I've told myself over and over again.A lie thats sent me down some dangerous paths. I finally realize its not that He doesn't want me, He wants ALL of me and so much has kept me from giving it to Him. I'm happy to say that realizing this has brought me on a deeper journey with Him especially with realizing my need for Him to get through the mess ive made of myself. I wake up in the morning knowing that I need Him to get through the day to face the struggles. and Im happy to say I think Hes glad to hear from me. My second reason to deal with my insecurity is that because i could't find security with my realationship with Christ, I've looked for securtiy in people. Putting strain on friendships I don't know if Ill ever get back. I put everything into those people to fix me until i ended up resenting them because they couldn't and them resenting me because I put so much pressure on them to do something there not capable of. The third reason I need to deal with my insecurity is because Im a young, single woman that has a lot to offer the world and I want to use every moment I have to prepare myself to be the best mother, wife, follower, teacher, and so much more that i can be. and I realize to be those things I have to find security. I don't want to carry my insecurities into realationships or pass them on to my children. I don't want them to affect my faith or hold me back from being the Woman christ has called me to be or better yet the SECURE woman Christ has called me to be. That may sound like such a Sunday school answer but I cant think of a better reason to Find security. I belive this book has really changed my life. I find myself referring back to it all the time. So keep reading girls. This book doesn't stop at ch 18, if you let it it can change you. I went from a very dark place that I didnt think i could ever get out of, to a full on adventure that im calling my life. This week I've had two very close friends tell me how much happier i've looked latley. And Im blaming this book!=) Everyday I feel is a battle but with God and this new insight I feel Im better prepared to fight it and win. Beth moore you are an amazing woman and thank you for helping me to see How much more I was made to be.
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me
Psalm 129:2
(AMEN!)
Sharen
Flowery Branch,GA
50's
Single
Ouch, chapter 7 really hit home as there are so many things I have been so ashamed of in my life. For that reason, I answered all 4 questions. I am bound and determined to live the life Jesus died for. My answers:
1. Lying because I am too insecure to say that I do not know or I do not understand is what really hit home for me.
2. It is time to deal with insecurity in my life because:
* To have peace with myself
* To fully put my trust im God
* Tired of being so down on myself all of the time
3. A recent trigger for me was when I met my favorite author at a book signing. I really wanted to say something witty but couldn't so I berated myself for being stupid.
4. In chapter 8, the discussion on the the title of Proverbs 31 really meant alot to me because I am single and have always incorrectly thought that I would be secure if I were married. This line of thought is incorrect and I can see it so clearly now. Thus, what dignity means to me is being who God intended me to be.
SD Ca
49
Married
Ch.7
As I read this chapter I thought of how monumentally different we would feel if instead of giving into our insecurities and acting foolishly, we would hold those feelings and thoughts captive to God. Yes, insecurity has made a fool of me many many times.
Ch.8
A. My identity needs to be in Christ.
B. If I 'BELIEVE" and 'WALK' knowing that I am beautiful in HIS eyes I will never need another persons affirmation of my attractiveness.
C. I've entered Peri-menopause, what a challenge this is bringing to my life. My hormonal imbalance has multiplied insecurities tenfold!
TRIGGERS
Being at the beach with my husband when we are surrounded by scantily clothed women.
DIGNITY
When I wear it I have on the most classy, elegant and priceless of outfits. I walk in dignity, I walk in humility but full of the worth God has placed upon my head.
Miss Beth,
This is my first time.
I love You! I thank God everyday for you!
These last 7 years with you have been awesome!
Thank you!!!
Karen
60
Florida
1)Home is where my heart is. I believe my home is just fine, better then most yet I am insecure about it's appearance when people-friends or family-come into my home. I'm not obsessive/compulsive about cleaning except when someone is in my home. I catch myself picking up while having a conversation with visitors.
2)a. Insecurity leads me to feel like I'm being graded by peers.
b. Insecurity hits me hardest at home. I don't want others to see "me" a mess.
c. Insecurity-I end up not having friends over or family unless I've spend several hours even days making sure there is no puppy fur, no dust, not a thing out of place.
3) A week ago I was at a friends house and she pointed out a lint brush. She told me she needed it from having been at my house…she was "covered" in puppy fur and needed to purchase one. Yesterday while sharing ice cream and cake for my son's birthday party she asked if I had a lint roller. I told her nope and she asked for a piece of tape. I wanted to hit.
4)Dignity is a relief to me. To know that God holds me up and loves me no matter how much puppy fur is on my carpet or my couch. He has placed my feet on solid rock and a crown on my head…looks good with puppy fur on my jeans.
"That's not dirt in my house…It's Angel dust"
Loretta
Wiggins, MS
30's
divorced (mom of 3)
2)Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity.
a)I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm constantly swimming up stream, but never getting any stronger for it. (I don't mind hard work, but you at least would get some muscle tone for physically and for really swimming against a current… grated you might not "go" anywhere, but you would gain nonetheless.)
b)I want to be used mightily by God. I recognize my insecurities as obstacles in my life for God's purpose for me.
c)So it truly stops with me… this is yet another legacy I don't want to pass to my children (not my girls nor my son). I do, however, want very much to pass on Christ's legacy to them and any one else I meet. I want to be undeniably forgiven by the grace of God alone.
4)Based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
being regarded as one who ought to be shown respect and not overlooked nor looked down upon.
Question 1) I related most to the very first example in chapter 7. I have this insatiable need to be liked by everyone and have perfect peace in my relationships at all times. I leave situations and analyze what I said, what the other person said, what I did, people's expressions – it's exhausting. Under my own scrutiny, I almost always find something to regret – a reason for someone to think I am a hypocrite, a moron, conceited, or judgmental, etc. After I have determined my inevitable blunder, I have to fight the urge to immediately call/e-mail the person. Sometimes I want to apologize; sometimes I just want to have a new conversation so that I can leave the person with a better impression of me. Thankfully, the Lord is teaching me to be comfortable with the fact that I am indeed a conceited, judgmental, hypocritcial moron – covered by the blood of Jesus! Only by sitting in the shadow of the cross do I have peace. Praise Him! He is SO FAITHFUL when you entirely submit yourself to His will.
Question 2) A) I know my insecurity issues affect my marriage; B) I have a little girl (20 months) and I want to be a godly example for her; C) I do not want insecurity to compromise God's plan for my life. He has things He wants to do with me and I want to do them – not be caught up in self-centered insecurity!
Love my siestas <3
Robin, 50s, Florida
The part of Chapter 7 that hit home was the control over your children out of insecurity. And the interrogating our loved ones, it used to drive my child crazy! After reading this chapter I realize that my insecurity became her insecurity and has caused her own set of problems that this chapter identified. I am thankful that she is a child of the King and He is restoring both of us…that my foolishness is not permanent, He is able! I need to deal with my insecurity now:
a) It has to be God's timing because I am reading this now:)
b) I don't want another generation to be affected, I want to stop it here!
c) I am at a time in my life where I have more time to serve God, I can't do that if I'm always worried about myself.
Dignity means worth to me! "Christ died for us while we were yet sinners", we did not deserve the price He paid. But His blood makes us worthy!
Thanks Louisa from
Tennessee in your
40's and
married
who posted
March 6, 2010 @ 3:27 PM
I've been struggling with approaching something at church (an idea I have for a song in our Easter cantata) I'm not a great singer (smoked for about 20 yrs)but I feel God pulling me from my comfort zone. Your words ("I also learned anything that gave me an intense feeling of dread was a lie from the father of lies.")have encouraged me to approach this.
Thank You God for all that You do. You know just what we need when and how we need it. I praise and thank You for each one of these ladies …all who read this book…that You have written through Your servant Beth. Thank You for not allowing her to be too insecure to write a book on insecurity. Thank You for Your healing power, grace, strength and dignity. We beg You not to finish with us until all lies of the enemy are proven false. Washed in the blood of the Lamb on Who's authority I so ask and pray-amen.
Hi – Newbie here! 🙂
29
Married, with 2 young daughters
Hudsonville, MI
1. I guess what resonated with me the most in Ch. 7 is that insecurity makes us settle. I feel like I settled for the majority of my life thus far, because it was easier to do that then do something out of my comfort zone, or something that would challenge me. To go for something "unattainable."
2.
A. So that I can be whole, inside and out.
B. So that as a whole person, I can bring the best in me to my marriage and my children.
C. So that I can help other sisters who are crippled by insecurity.
3. My recent trigger – on a recent visit to my folks' home, my stepdad said something that made my 4 year old cry, and it reminded me of every single time he said/did things when I was a girl that made me feel like crap, made me feel like I would never be good enough, would never be perfect enough or clean enough, and it would make me cry. Guess what? This time, I cried too.
4. To me, dignity is seeing yourself the way Christ sees you, even in the midst of triggering circumstances, and reacting/behaving as one who wears His strength.
Nelli
Kingsport, TN
20s
Married
1. This really hit home: "If the men do not accept our calls or don't call us, we immediately start the wheels of disaster, torment, crushing agony, stomachaches, panic, etc". I had to read this one out loud to my husband b/c he knows this is my issue. He has often come home from work with 20 missed calls from me on his cell phone. It's embarrassing but it's like I lose all control and keep hitting re-dial over and over.
2.
a. I feel like insecurity is keeping me from being an effective witness for Jesus Christ.
b. I HATE the way it makes me feel on the inside.
c. My ten year high school reunion is quickly approaching. My goal had been to walk in a certain size. I have a new goal: To walk in to my high school reunion SECURE no matter my size.
3. Recent trigger: My husband and I are at Books a Million sharing a cup of coffee as I type this. Before leaving the house I decided to try out my new purchase I got today–the Bump-It hair thing. They are these clip things that you put in your hair to give it lots of volume. I decided to go for the large Bump-It. When I finally came out of the bathroom my husband jokingly said "You look like one of those chicks in the
B52's who sing the song Love Shack". We got a good laugh about it but I decided to wear it anyways. Now I am sitting here feeling super self-conscious about my hair. I also just ran into a lady that I knew and the whole time I was talking to her I felt like she was staring at my Bump-It. I'm contemplating finding the nearest bathroom to remove this thing out of my hair but I'm afraid it will fall out on the way. It jiggles when I walk. It doesn't help that my husband keeps humming the chorus to Love Shack. LOL…at least I can laugh about it. At one time I might have cried.
4. Dignity = self respect.
1) I've struggled with a number of similar insecurity-based situations in ch.7, the ones that I struggle with at this stage of my life are: feeling confined/isolated out of fear of judgement or the even the possibility of criticisms or put-downs from others; also, being blind to how blessed I am.
Why? God has carried me through so much, and healed me of alot of the effects of the pain, marital humiliation, domestic violence and grief. A few months after coming out of my marriage, I started having panic attacks. Since that time, I've gone from regular panic attacks to only having 3 for the 2009 year because of God's gracious help.
I went from being God-confident & spiritually growing, to over time being put thru so much that I had become a wounded soul, so embittered that I couldn't recognize myself spiritually for a while because of those wounds.
Over time I've gotten back to being better able & willing to see me as God has always seen me. I've also come a ways in re-learning to not get in a panic & try wrestling with God for "control".
I used to struggle alot with accepting compliments–I'd feel so embarrassed!! And that hit on perfectionism and struggling with "did I really deserve it?". And then trying to work harder to "feel" like I deserved it, sometimes I'd end up holding it in til I could get home and cry. My ex had already told me I was nothing more than "damaged goods" after our marriage was over.
Through it all, God has been so good to me beyond what I can understand. I stopped questioning Him, and just keep thanking Him for His goodness and mercies to me.
2) For the insecurities I still need to work on/contend against with God's help, my three reasons for why it's time to deal with them: (A) My daughter(who turns 12 next month!!); (B) My son; (C)For me, because insecurity/fear weren't and aren't gifts from God to me, therefore I shouldn't accept those as "status quo" in any area of my life…and most of all because MY GOD is bigger than any insecurity!!!!!
3) The trigger–it was #3 in a series of humiliating situations in a relatively short period of time. By that third situation, the root of humiliation about crushed me and did get the better of me.
However God taught me more about others as well as myself and He also let me know it's pruning time again. Although I still kind of wish He'd given me a few more months before having to go through a lot of humiliation in such a short period of time, God's timing is ultimately for my best whether or not I understand His reasons.
4) What does dignity mean to me? Big-picture view: dignity = honor, contentment, and His peace that passes all understanding.
Breaking that down to situation-by-situation or small-picture view: dignity means finding God's measure of contentment and peace that passes all understanding –no matter what is happening in my family life.
Whether my son has yet another bad migraine related to his PTC, or a rage/anger episode, or my daughter ends up having a scarey-bad asthma attack in those occasional times when it comes out of good control out of the blue…just finding God's measure of contentment & peace that passes all understanding inspite of the circumstances is all that's needed.
God never meant me to have control over everything, I'm just one of His creations. Only He, the Creator, has control over everything and that is as it should be. Not something I should be fearful of.
And for the record, I am in agreement with God that He is and always will be bigger than anything/anyone –including my ex-husband!!!!!!!!
Diane
40
Ogden, Ut
divorced
Terry
Washington, IL
51
Married
1. The part of Chapter 7 that hit home with me most… "One mark of insecurity is to lie when someone ask us if we know someone we don’t, remember something we can’t…We deceive people out of fear that they will think us ignorant or out of the loop.” I didn’t realize I even did this until I saw it in print.
2. My top three reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity…
A. My insecurity controls me and I want it to stop.
B. My constant insecurity stops me from doing so many things. One example is the Siesta Memory Celebration. I did all the work and my sweet hubby certainly would have let me come, but I never even considered it for fear of traveling alone. I rarely go anywhere besides work alone.
C. God has provided me with this wonderful opportunity through your encouragement to move past the strangle hold insecurity has on me and I don’t want to waste it.
3. Describe a recent trigger of insecurity… I was having a “bad hair day” today and felt all around unattractive. I had forgotten that my hubby had scheduled a man come to price new windows for the garage. I “hid” in my room for the hour he was here because I didn’t want to be seen by this total stranger. Sheesh!
4. What dignity means to me…Dignity involves self-respect, a feeling of worthiness, a way you carry yourself. I love your observation that God crowns us with dignity… “right around our minds, just where we need it most.” If we do not have believe we have dignity, we certainly won’t behave like we do.
Top 3 reasons… A. I don't want to feel "less than" B. I don't want the devil to win C. I want to truely be what my name means,"In The Image of God!!!" My grandma and grandpa have always had name plaques up on the wall with our names and meanings. I have never really thought mine was that "cool." However, the more I think about it, the more "cool" it is! Lord, may I be an image of you, that others may see you in me!
Why deal with insecurity?
A. God wants me to.
B. Satan doesn't.
C. I'm TIRED!
The most recent trigger was when a friend told me I had a choleric personality. After I looked up the meaning, I concentrated on the weaknesses of the personality trait instead of the strengths. Why do I do that? Insecure? You think?
Chapt 7 #2: A. because it's way past time I did.
B. because of a new direction in ministry that God is taking me – I don't want the enemy to use this one against me.
C. because I don't fully understand insecurity or have totally identified the roots of it in my life but sense the roots are there. I am trusting God to reveal these roots and how they need to be dealt with, so I am continuing the study.
Chapt 8 #1: for me it is always to retreat and withdraw. I have often said I can do a great impression of a turtle because of my ability to retreat and withdraw. I eventually come back out but it is never my first reaction.
The biggest surprise to me was in reading one of the other triggers (really defensive or display a false arrogance) and realizing where I see it all the time. Another member of mgt (at my office) does this all the time and we've had some pretty intense 'go arounds' because of her over the top reactions. She has put off he whole office with her behavior. I never ONCE thought of her as insecure. She is young, highly educated and always appears to not care what anyone thinks of her decisions or the policies she hands down. She is never afraid to confront anyone and doesn't seem to be intimidated by other strong personalities. Very strong personalities tend to shut me down and I've NEVER thought she could be insecure. This makes me look at her in a different light and I'm pretty sure God will be pleased with this especially if my attitude towards her is more Christlike. Seems we could all use some compassion…..
#4. the entire teaching detailed for 'she is clothed with strength and dignity'. Having dignity is worthy of respect and high esteem. I never thought of it like that before. God respects us and esteems us and it really is okay for us to do that to ourselves, too.. Also we are CROWNED with dignity. SOOOOO true that it starts with our minds. That truth has transformed my life when it comes to my faith and my mind. My mind, my mind, my mind…..
I really liked Becky is Owassa OK's answer to what is dignity. she said it is simply Jesus – I couldn't agree more.
Cindy, St. Louis, mid-50's, single
Debbie
50 – Barely
Married
B'ham, AL
1. Honestly, it didn't do much for me…
2.
a. To break free for my childrens' and future grandchildrens' sakes
b. For my sanity and hubby's
c. I want life
3. Went to our cell phone store after getting a letter from them saying I could upgrade and get a good deal on a Blackberry… Turns out it was for my husband's phone. The sales lady was talking down to me and saying it wasn't for my phone and giving me all her industry lingo. So I let her know what I thought about that and her customer service. Thankfully another salesman spoke up and said my husband could give permission to let me use his. Well, hubby had hidden by now I think, but said I could. With that, I said I wouldn't get it from this store…. blah blah blah. After leaving, my husband said I was being a bitch… I thought I had a rare case of PMS but maybe it WAS insecurity. It did get a rise out of me.
4. Treat me with respect and don't talk to me like I'm an idiot since I don't WANT to learn about your industry Ms. Cell Phone Store.
listening to your concern today made me look at the title in a new way- So-o-o-oo-o-o-o Lo-o-o-o-n-n-n-g Insecurity…yes it really is time for Security!
Thought of you all tonight, and had to write-I'm getting into this blogging thing! 🙂
So tonight I went to an event where I thought nice jeans were okay. (You know where this is going! :)) I arrived, and all the ladies were in skirts, dresses, or nice dress pants. As I walked in realizing this, I started in my head with, "I"m the only one in jeans…I should have dressed up more…" However, I quickly stopped myself, "I am clothed with strength, and dignity, I am clothed with strength and dignity. I am not going to get concerned about this. Just going to enjoy the evening….." And, I did! Pulled it off on the outside, but also with great peace on in the inside! Praise God!!!! We can do this ladies!!! 🙂
Pamela
P
OR
30's
Single
Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurity:
1.I have lived my whole life with insecurity, and I know this isn't God's design for me.
2. I am tired of insecurity crippling who and what God created me to be – specifically in the gift of art. What could this look like for Him if fear, pride, and insecurity weren't tangled up in it?
3. Beth, I have taken great encouragement from you – mentoring us in how to be set free . I want my life to show the Father's security, too, so others struggling with it can see that there is freedom.
My most recent episode of insecurity – putting off for 3 weeks posting my answers…
Susan
Hannah, 25
Lansing, MI
Married
1) The part that hit home the most to me in Chapter 7 is that "insecurity can make you act like an indiot in female friendships." For whatever reason, I do this all the time. I find myself comparing who I am to who others are (or who I think they are – I'm probably wrong most of the time in my assumptions) and then engaging in my friendships based on these ideas. I ran into an old friend from college yesterday at the mall, and I found myself getting all nervous about how I looked, what I was saying, what I was doing… looking at it today, I feel so silly for doing that. The thing I appreciate about Chapter 7 though is that it shows all of us that we are not alone in our struggles with insecurity and that there is freedom out there for us!
2) My personal reasons for why its time to deal with my insecurity…
A. So that I'll start living my life as the person God intended me to be.
B. So that God can use me to help others out of the same pit I've allowed myself to get into through my insecurity.
C. So I can be confident and sure of who I am and who God is everyday of my life!
3) A recent trigger of insecurity (aside from running into an old friend yesterday): Getting a three sentence response to an e-mail that took quite a bit of time to write to a friend I've been experiencing some issues with over the last few months. I finally mustered up the courage to write to her honestly and lovingly, and didn't get back what I was hoping for – clarity and the ability to move forward. Everything's still in limbo and yes, I've let it get a rise out of me via anger and frustration.
4) For me, dignity is knowing who we are in Christ and our inherent value in Him. It is also being able to live everyday with this knowledge and shine it on to others in our lives who need Him.
Christine, 40, married, England
2a) Insecurity is stopping me from doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
2b) I can see my daughter picking up some of my insecurities.
2c) I'm plain fed up of living like this
4) Dignity is being able to be the person you are meant to be without fear and insecurity getting in the way.
Not ready to comment on the questions yet but I just want to say, Beth, that I just love you!! Some of my friends call me a Beth Moore (and Travis Cottrell) groupie and I couldn't be happier about that! Although my childhood was not quite as traumatic as yours, we definitely have some experiences in common and I just love that someone who has that in common with me is out there leading and teaching women about the good Lord and all that He does for us. I can't wait for the Simulcast for this book and I'm also going to St. Louis to see you live and in person – can't wait to get my groupie on!!
1. Chapter 7 hit home with me because it made me realize that I am not alone in my struggles.
2. a)God did not create me to be insecure. I want to be done with it so He can better use me.
b) I want to move forward with confidence. Insecurity stops me in my tracks and limits me.
c) I want to be able to develop and maintain close relationships with other women without overanalyzing everything I do or say in the course of a conversation.
3. The principal of the school where I work asked to see me in his office. Immediately I wondered what I had done wrong and worried about the upcoming meeting.
4. To me dignity means being able to hold my head high confident in the person God made me to be.
Angie, 30s
married, SD
Emily
Oklahoma City, OK
20s
married
1. I think what hit home the most in chapter 7 is simply how many areas insecurity affects. There are places where it's obvious, and yet as I read, I realized that even in situations where I FEEL mostly secure, there may be something that hits on an area of insecurity and I will act out of that instead of the security I feel in the situation or with a specific person.
2. A) I want to get over those times when insecurity causes me to react negatively with someone I otherwise feel secure with.
B) I want God to be able to use me without being held back by doubt/fear.
C) I want to believe all that God says about Himself and about me.
3. I had a situation this past week that was triggered by someone in authority over me who did something I should have spoken up about. I was stunned and couldn't respond at the time, and that night struggled to sleep until I gave it to the LORD and asked for wisdom how to handle it. For days I kept replaying the situation in my head and realized that it was insecurity that kept me from speaking up when I should have.
4. Dignity means to me that I have value that is not dependent on any earthly source. I am a daughter of the King of Kings, and my worth is wrapped up in His perfect love.
JUST A SHOUT OUT TO A FEW SIESTAS:
ELIZABETH (MARCH 6, 2010 5:40 PM) said this one little sentence in her answer to Q #4:
"Dignity is a relief to me."
I just love that and the secure 'sigh' that goes with it.
***
To NELLI of Kingsport, TN
re: Your 10 Year HS Reunion. -You go girl. People just might walk away saying to themselves, "Wow, she sure seems secure in her own skin, wish I could be more like that." That'll go a lot further than, "I wish I had her toned arms." Just enjoy the people, ask genuine questions about them, & make it your goal to say, "What a nice evening that was." (It took until my 20th reunion to say that.)
***
On Mar 6 at 10:24, Anonymous said…
A. God wants me to.
B. Satan doesn't.
C. I'm TIRED!
Sometimes these shorter answers just say VOLUMES!
***
PAMELA, Regarding your jeans amongst the skirts: Knowing how we women are with our appearance, I think this was an awesome victory. Good job!
Christine
Michigan
41
Single
1. I could relate to so many of the stories in chapter seven and made me think of times where insecurity just reared it ugly head. I have struggled so much with my weight and hid where insecurity has robbed me of so much of my life and opportunity. It has not only hurt myself very deeply but others as well. It came to a head even this past Saturday in so many ways and I could just feel the evil one feeding it more and more fuel. Which leads into the next question of why is it time for me to deal with insecurity.
2. A. I want to live the life God wants me to live. To no longer withdraw, hide, live victoriously, live healthy, live in His name and I am tired of thinking I have solved the problem but when I have just buried it. My way is just not working. I give you myself Lord Jesus.
B. For the girls in my small group…To show them that they are clothed in strength and dignity.
C. To have this heaviness removed
3. This weekend has been a long battle with evil and insecurities. Something as trivial as taking the dog to obedience classes and things just not going well resulted in a spiral effect of me not being confident, blaming myself, crying, and many mental games throughout the remainder of the day. The feelings of insecurity transferred not only to my dog but resulted in wrong words to family and friends.
4. DIGNITY – To be worthy of R-E-S-P-E-C-T and love. Knowing that God loves me and I love myself. Knowing that what ever happens it will be okay. Confidence, compassion, calmness and grace.
1. The part of Chapter 7 that hit home with me the most was the part about how insecurity can be a relentless robber because I know I have allowed insecurity to rob me of so many potential friendships and great experiences. I think it's even robbed me of part of my personality. AND I'M READY TO TAKE SOME PLUNDER FROM THE DEVIL, SINCE HE'S CAUSED INSECURITY TO TAKE SO MUCH FROM ME!!
2. My top three reasons why it's time to deal with insecurity:
A. I am finally realizing that I don't have to live insecure. God does have a way for ME to live securely in Him. And I am not the exception!
B. I want to teach my daughters to live in God's security. It's hard to do that when I'm not living it myself. I don't want them to fall prey to insecurity like I did. (And even though my girls haven't had many major insecurity roots, one of them is so insecure so can't sleep at night!) I don't want to leave a legacy of insecurity!!
C. God is calling my husband and me into a new season of ministry that will eat me alive if I don't enter into it as a secure woman.
3. After church last Sunday, some friends were discussing lunch plans. Our family hadn't been invited (an oversight), so when someone asked me a question about lunch I said we hadn't been invited in a tone that was supposed to be humorous, but sounded a bit defensive even to me. Ouch! (We did go to lunch with those friends, even after my childish outburst.)
4. To me dignity means knowing I am valuable to God because I am created in His image and redeemed by His Son. I am worthy of esteem.
Top 3 reasons I want to be free from insecurity:
1. Because the price I have been paying for insecurity has been way too high in every aspect of my life, but especially in (not) having the types of relationships with others I long for.
2. I am so sick and tired of the self-centeredness insecurity causes that I could scream! There is a world out there that needs to see Jesus in action and its about dang time that they got to see His divine power at work in me.
3. I am sick and tired of living a half-life by allowing insecurity rob me of an abundant, effective, and purposeful life.
What does dignity mean to me? It means that I don't have to be – or look like or anything else – like anyone else but who the Lord has made me to be to be loved and valued and useful. HE has clothed me with strength and dignity, and I want to wear it.
Gretchen
40's
Thousand Oaks, CA
Bethany
30’s
Married
Waco, TX
2. Top three reasons why it's time to deal with insecurity:
A. It is high time I stop the comparisons, the fears of future and hurts of past rejections, and chronic lack of self confidence hinder me from walking out in the destiny God has for me. I haven’t been living life to the full and I’m sick of it.
B. I my first child almost nine months ago and I don’t want to let my hang-ups and insecurities hinder him from living life abundantly. I want him to know that no matter who we are, no matter what other people might think and no matter how they might act towards us, God created us just the way He wanted us and we are all lovely priceless pearls in his eyes. I want him to grow up knowing what a woman who is fully secure in Jesus, in herself and in her family looks like- a woman of dignity and honor.
C. I don’t want my insecurities to get in the way of my relationship with my man. He is the most perfect match for me and I want him to be blessed, supported and proud of his woman 🙂
4. What does dignity mean to you?
To me dignity means self assuredness with humility- knowing in my core that I am valuable and treasured, but not in a way that it is prideful or allows me to think I’m better than anyone else.
I have long wanted to throw my HUGE issues with insecurity out the window (when I saw this book, I KNEW I had to read it right away). After reading this chapter I know I must fill the void those insecurities will leave with the dignity and honor described in Proverbs 31. Beth, I can not ever thank you enough for this book and the change that will happen/is starting to happen in my life. Wooohooo, I’m so excited!!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Ch.7: I didn't come away with just one specific feeling from ch.7. It was more like an understanding of just how many different ways Satan gets creative in stealing our security: from going to the bathroom, clothes, to our jobs and the ones we love.
2. a. it's exhausting to be insecure
b. ready to give myself a break and be okay with myself
c. do not want to pass these feelings onto my children (who are young teens)
3. I really like the term "trigger" of insecurity. I sometimes know my triggers and sometimes I do not. Just giving them a label (i.e. trigger) has already helped me gain control over my reaction towards the triggers.
Recently, I started a new job. New people, new responsibilities. My previous job was in a church setting. This job is in a secular setting. I began feeling anxious and insecure about my job and if I was doing well, if people liked me, etc. For about a week, those thoughts consumed my mind. I became very anxious when I was at work and then I would replay the day's work situations constantly at home. I would berate myself over the smallest of things. I was in my prayer time and I felt God just say in a loud voice only my soul could hear…"Look for ME at your job. I AM there." INSTANTLY the anxiety left me. Every day at work now, I seek Him even in a secular setting. I look forward to finding Him there. I am at peace with my new work surroundings after God's peaceful words spoke directly to me.
4. Dignity to me means respect for yourself first so that you can then show respect to others.
Wow! I need this book.
1) I gnaw a relationship to death when I don't get immediate response. I have settled for less than God wants to give me, I'm distracted and stuck.
2) I'm ready to deal with insecurity to let my sons have some peace, refocus my self-worth on God's truth, live my life abundantly according to God's plan for me and not what I think others want from me (a lot of wasted energy)
3) Recent trigger was when I texted my sons yesterday and didn't get a response. They must not care about me. It wasn't even important.
4) Dignity is defining myself as God's creation worthy of respect. Measure myself by my Redeemer not the world.
Sylvia
60's
Georgetown TX
susan
long island,ny
50's
married
1)The insecurity that hit me most was insecurity can turn you into a public fool.This happens to me alot on my job because although I try to hold my insecurity down it rears its ugly head with supervisors who I feel don't like me or are trying to belittle me(with customers watching). My second would be acting like an idiot in female friendships. I struggle with the idea of not being liked by others and if I feel people are upset with me I have to change that right away. I have always been like this ( insecure) and need the lord to change me with the help of this book and simucast.
2)I need to change my insecurity to
a)lead a victorious life god has already planned fr me. My insecurity sets me up for failure.
b)to stop repeating my insecurity mountains (issues that trigger me) over and over again.
3) Like the answer to #1, when a supervisor at work spoke to me about something that I did not like her answer (what she was saying).I felt insecure and yes,I was triggered. I became emotionally upset about this later in the day. I am tired of having to fend for myself constantly and need god to step in on this.
4)Dignity means acting in a balanced way in all areas of my life.Not being demeaned by others or insecure. Knowing I am totally loved and accepted for who I am by god. We are worthy of respect and high esteem by god.
#1) What hit home the most in Chapter 7 was that I have manipulated situations (lied) to get guys to react to me the way I wanted them to. Then, I could falsely interpret their reaction as them liking me, when really it wasn't me they were liking, just a fake version of me. This may not make sense but I have specific examples written out in detail in my So Long, Insecurity book.
#2) The 3 reasons my insecurity MUST be dealt with are:
A– My insecurity is holding me back from becoming the person God created me to be; it is stopping me from serving Him; keeping me a prisoner. I am tired of my insecurities being the chains that bind me.
B– I can never be truly healed because I continue to repeat the same insecurity mistakes. Satan will continue to have a hold on me through my insecurities if I don't deal with them. Enough is enough.
C– I am tired of responding to the triggers of insecurity. I want to find a better way to deal with those triggers so I can walk away still clothed in dignity and respect.
#3) I like this guy and we have been emailing each other this week. I told him of my passion for history and after I sent the email I held my breath thinking "What if he thinks that is lame?" "What if he doesn't share my passion?" "What if I never hear back from him?" Then that thought process goes straight into…I shouldn't have told him about that, I should have found out what he was into first…My insecurity is so noticeable to me now it is shocking. He emailed me back and does share my passion, but from this point forward I will not hide who I am for fear that someone may think I am different, because I am different, I am ME. Through this journey I am learning to get in touch with ME again and learning to love who I am and not who people think I am. You can't see me but I am doing a little happy dance 🙂
#4) Dignity means that I can hold my head high because I have assurance of who I am in Christ. I don't give my self respect or self worth to someone and let them decided what to do with it. MY dignity and MY self worth in Christ is much more important than to be handed over to just anyone to trample on like swines.
Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."
I have wasted my pearls onto many dogs and swines!!!! No More.
Kate
Concord, NC
30s
Single
Beckie
52
Florence, SC
1. Exploding with rejection – I vividly remember the first time I was rejected by girlfriends. I was 10. It's like a movie in my head. I experienced about a 15 year stretch without a best friend. I believe it was to teach me that my best friend is my LORD God. Seems so appropriate when this is a very lonely time with friends right now. Tears are falling. Praying Christ is my strength.
2a – God is giving me some very specific directions right now and the only way I will be able to follow them, to stay on His path, is to move away from my insecurities.
2b – Been praying for quite awhile for my husband and two sons to hit their knees so our family would be united with Christ as the center. Some tough days are here and I need to be able to speak truth with kindness and love at all times.
2c – It's just time to step up and trust and believe God.
3. My best friend changed plans on us three times in a month. One is quite understandable, maybe two, but three just knocked me down for a moment.
. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
The Good Lord knows I identify with many of the ways insecurity has 'gotten to me' – however I believe that "Insecurity can be a relentless robber" definitely hits home the hardest. For me, it sums up the rest – it (insecurity) has robbed me from even knowing who I really am as a woman.
Top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity:
A. I have a beautiful daughter that I want to be able to instill God given security, dignity, confidence and faith deep into her heart so that she will never doubt who she is in Christ.
B. So that my life in some way can bring God glory
C. It's just stinkin time, thats why!
What does dignity mean to you?
Now there's a word that hasn't been in my vocabulary for a very long time – 20 years to be exact.
I never in my wildest dreams ever thought or believed it could be restored – until now. And I've never been more mad at the enemy for robbing it from me than I am at this very point in my walk.
You don't really even notice your dignity until you lose it. Having dignity means being respected – not just because you hold title, or are important – but down right decency and respect for just being human – a "live" and in-living-color person with emotions and consideration and compassion.
Beth, thank you for obeying Christ in writing this book. Chapter seven was definitely and painstakingly difficult to absorb, but it is revealing from the inside out. Never has a book been so direct about pin pointing the areas of my life that have been robbed from me – identify theft in the craftiest of ways!
No more – "So long, Insecurity" (and any other alias you might have!!!)