So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
Salina 
2)Why deal with my insecurity?
a. so I can stop punishing myself for my failures
b. so I can be a better wife and mother
c. because when I let insecurity rule my life I am giving in to the enemy instead of knowing and acting like I am a daughter of The King.
Dignity is knowing who I am because of who My Father is!
Melissa
Asheville NC
Salina, Kentucky, 30's, married
1. Female Friendships. I can’t count the amount of times where I’ve written a long email to a friend and as soon as I hit the send button I wanted to take it back. I then spent the rest of the day obsessing over what I said (or didn’t say) only to apologize later for saying what I said. This is something that has always made me not only feel insecure, but also very stupid for thinking it.
2. A. If I continue to worry about what I don’t have in my life, I’m never going to fully appreciate what I do have.
B. Not only does my family love and care about me unconditionally, I also have a Father who will never leave nor forsake me. He loves me the way I am because He made me the way I am. If He wanted me to be someone else He would have given me different characteristics and feelings.
C. God has been laying on my heart for a while now to minister other women. It’s time to deal with my own insecurity so that I can help others deal with theirs. I want to especially be a role model to my four year old niece.
3. This hasn’t been recent, but one trigger you mentioned was spot on for me but I never thought of it being so for someone else. The one about pouring your heart out to someone and feeling sure you told the person way too much has happened to me many times. It makes me feel so powerless, as though I’ve given a part of myself away that I can’t get back. My insecurity usually triggers my imagination. I obsess over what I said, why I said it and should I have said it in the first place.
This is my first post. I've been reading for a while and I am finally jumping in!
I am thrilled by God's timing of this book. Last fall I started counseling to deal with my "issues". I knew I was insecure but I didn't realize my "issues" were because of my insecurities until I started reading SLI.
2.) Top 3 reasons for dealing with my insecurities.
1. I want to be free to be who God created me to be
2. I want to follow my hearts desire to minister to women so they can experience all that God has for them
3. I want to relate to people without worrying about everything and have healthy relationships with friends and family especially my husband
4.)Dignity is being confident of who I am and not trying to be who I think others want me to be and being ok if they don't like it.
Kathy
Michigan
50's
Missy, 36
Married
Tennessee
1) The part of chapter seven that hit home most was that insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't want to do. I have justified poor behavior because I was too insecure to do the right thing or stand up for another. Insecurity makes it difficult to risk.
2. My top three reasons to deal with insecurity:
a) I am done with lying to placate someone.
b) My Lord is worthy of my best.
c) My daughter and boys need an example of a real, healthy woman.
3. Recent Trigger – ugh! New hire at my husbands job is young, attractive divorcee. He admitted that she has been flirtatious. I did not react outwardly, but inside I immediately began comparing, questioning. I became critical of my weight, my hair, etc.
4. Dignity means matching my actions to God's description of me. He gets to define me, not the media, spouse, or anyone else. It means being sure, stable and consistent.
Question 1:
Insecurity makes us settle. It distracts and robs us of our confidence in the rich inheritance we have from God. Keeps us from stepping out in faith. Insecurity keeps us from using the gifts God has given us. Insecurity derails our lives.
Question 2:
A)I want to glorify Christ through my life and tell of His excellency. When I allow the insecurities in my life to rule this doesn't happen.
B)My need to be loved by people has robbed me of my joy. It has interfered to long and has kept me from drawing closer to God.
Question 3:
Having my boss called me aside to discuss a situation and automatically assuming I had done something wrong.
Question 4:
Dignity means that I am worthy of respect. Nobody on this earth is any better than I am – we are all equal!
Ginnie/FL/44/Single
My top 3 reasons why its time to deal with my insecurity:
1. Because I will stay embarassed for years after having an embarassing moment.
2. Because I'm tired of feeling like a major screw-up
3. Because God wants me to be a woman of dignity.
A recent trigger of insecurity? I made a mistake at work and my boss was very nice about it, but I was certain he was more mad than he was letting on. I've been walking on eggshells all week without reason and fearful that people are talking about how stupid I am.
Jen
20's
Married
Houston
2.A)I really want to be able to relate to My Lord as His daughter and His friend. I feel so distant from Him most of the time and I believe this is because of my insecurities which I have covered over for so long. I want to be free from this!!!
B)As a leader in our womens’ ministries and in our church, I want to be a better model of healthy relationships.
C)I’m tired of hiding.
4.Dignity is that which the Lord has given us. He has made us in His image and He has told us we are good in His sight. How can we argue with that (although I do it all the time)
Lee
60 and married
Leola, PA
1. The part of chapter 7 that most hit home with me is that insecurity can cause a mom (or wife) to be overcontrolling or just generally out of control. I've "lost it" more times than I care to count.
2. a. I'm tired of second guessing myself.
b. My husband deserves better.
c. I don't want to pass this on to my children.
3. A recent trigger of mine was just a few days ago. I volunteer at my older kids' school while my daughter is in preschool. I have recently taken on a volunteer role at church and have had to cut back on my hours at the school. One of the teachers (jokingly) said I can't leave them. At that moment, I stopped and instead of getting upset because I was hurting someone, I prayed for God to take those feelings out of my heart. It worked so well! Thanks so much for your words and allowing God to use you.
4. To me, dignity means realizing that I am made in God's image and he loves me no matter what.
Stacey
Sugar Land, TX
30's
Married
1) What hit home for me was about female friendships. Being fearful that if she has another friend, I would be left out. That's how it was for me as a child. In the back of my mind that little voice keeps telling me I'm not good enough, smart enough, thin enough ect..
2) My top 3 reasons to deal w/insecurity is.
a. I'm tired of always being on guard.
b. I really want to find peace and acceptance with myself.
c. I am almost 50yrs. and I want to just relax and cut up and enjoy life and not worry.
3) Today, I have a cold comming on and I'm trying to get ready to go to see the grandkids (6hrs. ride) My sister asked me if I wanted to go? I almost let that turn into this saying in my head.
"are you trying to get sick so you don't have to go?" I had to stop myself from letting this thought (which is completely wrong) get distorted.
4) Dignity to me means: One who deserve respect, one who is humble, secure in who she is (without being arrogent).
Lonna
40's
Albany, OR
Married
Top 3 reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A) So I don't have to suck in so hard when I work out at the gym, it's so hard to breathe and nearly impossible to do if I have to go pee; just to become comfortable in my own fitness level and stop mentally comparing myself to others.
B) Because I am going to start teaching my first Zumba class and I need to be secure enough to look at myself in the mirror in order to honestly encourage all those insecure, lovely women (and men) who will take my class.
C) Because God wants me to. He has begun a good work in me, He wants to continue His good work in me and I want to be willing. I want to be obedient because God loves ME and He LOVES obedience.
My insecurity is so largely based on how I think I look, sound, mostly physical things and those insecurities trigger my pride and I find myself mentally slamming others in order to continue to make sure I'm "top dog" (to who?) Oh, I hate this I do so hate it. So yesterday at the gym I worked out with my darling little friend who has a darling little figure but I have no insecurities with her because I just love her to pieces but she said that another girl was going to come in and do weights with us (what? I'm not your only friend?) and was I ok with that. "Oh! of course, no problem!" But as soon as the girl walked in I started to mentally evaluate; mmmhmmm, a little heavy around the middle, legs shaped a little weird, but nice tushy….
WOW!! I cannot wait for that mad mental put down/evaluate cycle to be broken. But you know what I do? I, out loud and to the person, address their body part I feel most insecure about in myself and I tell them honestly, "you have a nice rear" or " you have nice boobs" and 9 times out of 10 they respond with "oh no girl, I need surgery", or just "no I don't". Rarely does anyone just say "thanks". Even the little body builder girl when I tell her she looks fabulous she rolls her eyes and says "oh no I don't". WHAT? She has a frickin' picture of herself hanging in the gym with her all oiled up winning a prize and she still doesn't think she looks fabulous!? I love her shoulders and arms. So shapely, so not mine.
I don't know what dignity means to me. I can't get my head around that yet. I keep picturing Abraham Lincoln walking all tall and upright and think that is what dignity looks like. I have my heart open to God for help in this. I know it's not pride, but am just not sure what it is, does it have an action?
I appreciated what you wrote about Dr. Chokra's comment, you so hit the nail on the head and I wholeheartedly agree, he got it backwards. He too must struggle with insecurities.
I also learned I need to check in on this blog more often, I totally missed last weekends assignment.
Janie
Iowa
Married
50's
1. "He knows we are not nearly as fragile as we think we are, but we will act like who we believe ourselves to be."
2a. I've missed so much time, so many opportunities, and pushed aside God's quiet calls. Father, I'm so sorry.
b. I've diminished my self worth to feel loved.
c. I'm tired of feeling "less than" and for placing ungodly people on a pedestal–following their shoulds.
3. A leaking roof after a long winter of debt sent me right back to victim, fear, anger, defiance. . . causing pain to others on top of my personal pain. oh, my God and I have alot of work to do.
4. Dignity means to me the right to stand tall as God's daughter and to live free.
Thanks Beth for a traveling partner on this rocky road.
1. The part of Chap 7 that hit home the most was "insecurity can make us give an entirely wrong impression". That is soo me!! I'm sure I have come off as standoffish when getting to know someone. It's that fear of someone not liking me or them not caring what I have to say. Many times I have gone home from something kicking myself for what I have said/not said.
2. Top 3 reasons:
A. I have regrets over missed opportunities.
B. I want to be confident in my abilities.
C. I'm just plain tired of being so insecure.
Suzy
30s, single
Murfreesboro, TN
MY TOP 3 REASONS TO DEAL W/ MY INSECURITY:1. WANT TO BE USED BY GOD. 2. WANT MY DAUGHTERS TO BYPASS THIS CURSE! 3. TIRED!!! IT'S EXHAUSTING BEING INSECURE & IT RUINS EVERYTHING!!! I NEED REST!
DIGNITY- A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHO SHE IS IN CHRIST AND IT RADIATES FROM HER NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES!!!
RECENT TRIGGER OF INSECURITY- HUSBAND MADE COMMENT ABOUT SINGER BEING GREAT ON AMERICAN IDOL SHOW. WAS JEALOUS AT FIRST, BUT REALIZED I'M A SINGER FOR CHRIST – SHE'S SINGING FOR THE WORLD. HER POSITION WILL BE SWEPT AWAY EASILY, (ALONG WITH HER SELF ESTEEM), MINE IS FOREVER! 🙂 O.K., I HAD TO SMILE AT THAT ONE!!! NOT HER TEMP. PLACE, BUT BECAUSE I HAVE A PERMANENT ONE!!!!!! YEAH!! I ALSO FIGURE THEY'RE ALOT OF ANGELS & OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARE GONNA BE SINGING PRAISES TO GOD WHEN WE GET TO HEAVEN, SO EVEN IF I SOUND BAD…… WHO'S GONNA BE ABLE TO PICK MY VOICE OUT?! HEH! THAT'S GONNA BE SUM SWEET HARMONIZING!!!!
Denise
Albuquerque, NM
50's
Married
1. Insurity can make a liar out of you. I felt like someone had watched parts of my earlier years–before Christ–He slipped His own secure Spirit within our simple jars of clay. Lord Jesus, live through me!
2. A. I want to learn how to live in the freedom My Blessed Savior Jesus purchased for me with His precious Blood "So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." Jn. 8:36 NAS I want to learn how to walk in the resurrected power of My Lord "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead." Phil. 3:10,11.
B. I sabotage relationships (especially my own marriage) by reacting out of fear, rather than responding from secure love."There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" I Jn. 4:18a.
C. I already have decided in my mind that I won't measure up and that's me believing a lie from the pit. My reality is that the God of all the universe "purposed" me as a reflection of His glory at "this time in history" in "this place I live" now. "If God is for me, who can be against me? Rom. 8:31 and "just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world," "In Him also we have obtained an inheritance having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. Eph. 1:4,11,12.
Pam
45
Taylorsville, NC
1. Insecutiry has robbed me of living and enjoying life.
2.
(a) I'm tired.
(b) I don't want to miss out on what God has intended for my life.
(c) I don't want to put these insecurities onto my child.
(d) I want to be able to fulfill God's purpose for my life.
3. When my husband seems "bothered" about something, my mind starts going rampant over what could be "wrong".
4. Dignity means to me respectable, honorable, having self respect, UNASHAMED.
I, like many of my siestas, could write a book about this book and the impact it is having in my life. My answers coincide with so many already written…I've even copy/pasted many and e-mailed them to myself! My answers are sooo long that posting them would be waaayyy too much work for Siesta Mama/First Born and give Annabeth time to begin driving, never mind walking! I wanted to check in and let you know that God is doing a mighty work in this once insecure-made-a-fool-of-woman. The growth is daily and the freedom is mind blowing! My goodness…
Julia
Whidbey Island, WA
I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT MIGHT BE USEFUL TO OTHERS. I USE A DRY ERASE MARKER AND WRITE SCRIPTURES ON MY DAUGHTER'S MIRROR. THAT WAY SHE SEES THEM EVERYTIME SHE LOOKS IN THE MIRROR. I'M GONNA PUT SOME ON MINE TOO!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT MY MIRROR!! DUH!! IT'S GONNA HELP ME TO REMEMBER, "I AM CLOTHED WITH STRENGTH & DIGNITY". ALSO, "HE WHO HAS BEGUN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL PERFECT IT UNTIL THE DAY OF CHRIST JESUS."
1.Insecurity can be a relentless robber. Why? I can see how its robbed a lot of things in my life. I live in an insecure state and a state of fear. There were things I knew I was supposed to do but I was so scared of failing and hiding in my insecurity I never did them and it robbed me. I also really related to the women’s quote:
“Insecurity makes us settle. Insecurity makes us distracted. Insecurity robs us of confidence in our rich inheritance from God. Insecurity makes us put our gifts on a shelf to gather demonic dust. Insecurity disturbs our sleep. Insecurity derails our life”
I don’t think I could have worded that any better. She is spot on in that description.
2. A) My number one would be I’m tired of knowing that I’m trying to find my security and self worth in the approval of others. I can see myself doing it in my actions and I’m ready to learn how to stop. I know that to continue trying to find self worth in people will get me nowhere. I don’t understand why or where along the way that I lost my security and self worth in myself but I’m eager to find the root, find the triggers and get rid of it!
B) “Insecurity’s best cover is perfectionism” I’ve noticed this in my every day behavior. Had no idea it was how I was hiding under my
insecurity. I just thought I have always been and always will be a perfectionist. But there are many many cracks in my idea of perfection. I’m eager to see this change in my life. Doesn’t mean I can’t be excellent in everything I do but knowing my true desires and why I am doing it I think will make a huge difference.
C) I’ve lost a lot in life due to insecurity. I“m just ready to deal with these issues and see this area of my life overcome. I truly want to find my security in God and not in other things. I need to deal with my past, deal with the abuse, deal with the rejection, deal with my self worth value. My name is Amanda which means ”beloved“ I know thats not a coincidence. God is always trying so hard for me to realize that I am his beloved he even had me named it. I just want to finally be able to get that in my head and in my spirit!
3. ”you get a new haircut and its hideous“ just went through this recently and my insecurity raged out and it wasn’t pretty at all.
4. ”to possess dignity is to be worthy of respect“ i’m still soaking this one in.
Amanda Taylor
29 years old in a few weeks
Richmond, VA
Married 6 years this year
Peggy
Divorced
50's
1. What hit home with me the most is I am not alone. A lot of women think exactly the same way as I do. We certainly didn't come up with insecurity all by our lonesomes!
2. My top 3 reasons to heal:
A. God said, "It's time for my healing.
B. God has a future for me one I am healed.
C. My children deserve a mom who has it together and who can be an example of letting go and letting God take over my life.
3. I have a friend who once told me that she didn't call me for a few weeks because she was waiting to see if I would call her. Well, as a consequence I an so self conscious of calling her when I don't hear from her. So we've been friends for 40 years and I am insecure about our friendship. GOOD GRIEF!
4. Dignity is God's gift to me — the right to be worthy of respect. AND the right to be worthy of high esteem. (Not self-esteem. HIGH esteem.)
Katie
Russellville, AL
27
Married
#1.
pg. 122, "insecurity can cause us to embrace people who abuse us…", Pg. 125, "insecurity also causes us to accept things as normal that aren't" and then the story on pg. 132 ("insecurity explodes with rejection and can twist our perceptions") spoke to me in a different context. This related to me and my relationship with my dad, which is one of my top 2 "roots". I grew up feeling like everything was my fault, and I couldn't do anything right. That I was the problem, I needed to change. I kept trying harder, but only received criticism and condemnation. I never thought about my dad being the one who was wrong (he was an alcoholic, verbally abusive to me, mom, younger brother), nor did I know that it wasn't my responsibility to make him happy. I was too busy trying to please him…I wanted to be good enough for him. I grew up paranoid about being acceptable and thinking me=failure, but I didn't want to accept that so I was constantly trying to be better than what I felt I was…still am.
Now, into adulthood, God has just shown me this past week that things are still the same in my relationship with my dad. Over 5 years ago God performed a miracle in my heart toward my dad, and I forgave him for my childhood abuse. I let my dad back into my life without any expression of my sorrow and without any boundaries. I thought that was forgiveness. Really, I was afraid of losing his favor again by telling him how I really felt and how God had worked in my life. Because I didn't set boundaries up in my relationship with him and my family (they are unbelievers), God has convicted me of compromising who I am in Christ by keeping regular company with them under the pretense of being a witness for Christ (while they drank, and I never talked about God's working in my life, etc.). All it did was corrupt and undermind what God was trying to plant in me. The last sentence on pg. 132 summed up what God hit me with through chap 7, "Forgiveness is one thing, but allowing ongoing abuse and deception is quite another."
I am so excited, because God is already teaching me boundaries here and I feel so free! I really was chained to my family, thinking it was my job to "take care of them…even save them". I struggle big time with people-pleasing. But all God wants is for me to serve HIM ALONE, seek to please Him alone (2 Cor. 5:9-10) and trust him to take care of them while I let him tend to me. God is working!!!
#2
A. Insecurity threatens to steal my Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Cor. 2:9 because "it is a cover-up for unbelief", and I can't move on to my place of effectiveness in God's working in my generation until this is gone.
B. I AM SICK of being jerked around between what I think someone thinks of me, what I think of me, or what the world would say of me. I am ready to find my definition, my identity, MY SECURITY in Christ alone and experience some peace after finally letting his voice be the only one I obey, and shutting everyone else up…including me!
C. I'm tired of the constant emotional turmoil rollercoaster I stay on and I never know when my insecurity will be triggered and I feel locked in and have to ride the thing AGAIN (maybe that's why I hate rollercoaster rides). It has stolen my joy and my sense of wholeness and well being for all of my life. I don't want this to dictate who I am anymore!
Morning ladies,
I have SO missed being able to read through the blogs this last week. To explain I must begin with my most recent “trigger”.
Imagine this, sitting at the hospital with family members as we wait and see if my grandmother is going to make it through the day. The doctor has said the chances are slim. So there I sit in the waiting room with my son and the other side of the family joins us. Since we really don’t know each other and haven’t seen each other since the passing of my aunt several years ago, there is little conversation other than some small talk.
While I sat there, lost in my thoughts, believe it or not I felt insecure because I didn’t look as put together as they did (“I feel fat…I look fat. For a teacher who just left work, I don’t look as professional as I thought I should, etc). While small talk is not something I am good at, I didn’t allow those gaps in conversations to bother me as they have so often in the past. I used to think they made me appear stupid, but I really didn’t care to talk. I really didn’t want to think. My job was to be there and help as I could. My job was to help my son through this difficult process so it would not leave him insecure and wounded as it did 5 years ago.
While I knew that the thoughts going through my head were insecurity, I was too numb to do much about them. I also knew in my head that it didn’t matter what I wore, but all day I felt self-conscious about my looks. I have even made an effort the last two days to make sure that if I were called back to the hospital that I wouldn’t feel that way again (at least with how put together I look). I know it is dumb, but I feel very powerless over this right now.
BTW: Grandma is stable and surprising the doctors. We just have to take it a step at a time. No promises.
So why do I want to say good-bye to insecurity.
a. I do NOT want to feel that way again EVER regardless of why.
b. I want to be able to help my son overcome his insecurities/anxieties with God’s word.
c. I want to continue to grow in my relationship with my best friend – Jesus.
d. I want to help the women in my life (Christian and non-Christian), especially my mom and best friend –B.
Thank you Beth for doing this study and helping us women to take a good look at ourselves in a way that we are not just “attempting” to do the right thing, but deep-down healing.
I am glad I don’t have to be superwoman – that this has opened doors for me with some women in my church as I share with them and invite them to the April simulcast.
40’s single panhandle of Nebraska
Katie
Russellville, AL
27
Married
Hear are my answers for questions 3 and 4:
#3. Wow. I was actually triggered last night with the AWANA group at church. The largest group is split up and I lead/teach one part. Doing this is new to me, so I'm already kind of insecure about my role in it. The leader of the other half is great with these kids, and I admire him very much in the faith. I started to realize how insecure I really am after last week one kid in his group came to Christ, and I was happy, but then I started focusing more on myself thinking "Should one of mine have come to Christ by now? Am I doing something wrong? Did I not pray enough or am I right for this task?" Oh yeah, I bit the bait because this week I was a wreck. I talked with the other leader before our group time and I was triggered again! I started feeling inadequate compared to him and like I wasn't as good at relating the Bible verses to the kids like he was doing. But do you know that night one out of my group came to Christ!? I was happy, but shocked. I realized this is not about me at all, and that God could use anyone who just shows up willing to try. As I thought about it last night, I realized my main issue is pride (self-focus). I'm trusting God to help me be confident in Him, and look away from myself.
#4. Dignity = a sense of worth and wholeness in the person God made me to be now, apart from what I know, do or have, that cannot be stolen or questioned by anyone or any circumstance.
Chap. 7 – Insecurity is a robber. It has robbed me of alot of peace and joy.
It's time to deal with my insecurity because:
A. It has robbed me of peace and joy.
B. I want to be bold, courageous and confident (in Him of course.)
C. I want to walk in the good works God has for me, not getting entangled in any "yoke of bondage."
Patti, Kissimmee, FL, 40's, Married
2. Three reasons I need to deal with my insecurity:
A. So that I dont have to play and replay over and over in my mind situations that I feel like I could have handled better.
B. For my families sake.
C. For my future husbands sake. I want to be the absolute best wife I can so I need to know who I am in Jesus (find security in Him) so that I don't let my future husbands actions decide if I am secure or insecure.
4. Dignity to me is respect for myself as His child and as who I am in Him
Chesney
16
single
Knoxville
2. Top 3 reasons…
a) To get rid of doubts that have nagged me for years.
b) To finally see myself as my husband and, more importantly, God sees me.
c) To be a positive role model for my kids.
3. Dignity means an undeniable strength from God. It is a goal I strive to reach every day. There is even a picture in my mind of what a woman "clothed in dignity" looks like. Confident, yet humble. Strong and secure.
Aubrey
26
Married
Hinsdale, IL
Amy
Washington, D.C.
Single
20s
1) The parts that hit home were insecurity weighing heavily on weight issues. So many times I've been afraid to do anything because of my weight. I'm not 20 pounds overweight…I'm about 5x that; it's the most insecure I've ever felt about my body. It hurts so much. I won't do certain things (play sports, wear tank tops, jump up and down, do certain things with my face or body) because of my insecurity. I've lived almost 16 years of thinking I'm ugly. I used to hate to take showers. Insecurity led me to miss out on many things in life for fear of what people would see and say. What also hit home was insecurity making us overcompensate: I don't like that I'm so overweight that I make sure my hair is perfect, I know how to dress myself, I know how wear make-up in a sophisticated way, and so on…at the end of the example the women said, "He is enthralled with out beauty!" It's Solomon speaking there and I have read that scripture many times trying to get the big overwhelming feeling from it…when I shouldn't go by my feelings but instead I should go by my heart and spirit. Once again insecurity led me to be a relentless robber and I allowed it to rob me into bad food choices, covering up, instigating friendships I needed, and pursuing career goals I know God planted in my heart. The last one was insecurity turning me into a poser: I not only have had a hard time wondering if some guys are my future husband, but I've allowed it to make me shy around guys and even run the other way. Having never been asked out on a date (27 years old!) I've always related it to my beauty/body. Because of this I'm completely insecure around guys I find attractive. Instead, I either run away, try to be someone they’d like, or stand like the wallflower at a ball.
2)It's time to deal my personal insecurities: a- because God wants to show me specifically what I am supposed to do with my life; what job, what city, what occupation, and allowing myself to trust in Him with ALL of me. I want to experience that more than anything.
b- because God wants me to lose the weight once and for all and show me how He is my first love. With that I first have to love myself now, as I am, and I'm not there yet.
c-it's time because if I don't then I will wind up being lazy and going to live with my family and getting a job that gets me by…and not changing this world for him. I am lazy, and I know it. He wants to use me to encourage and help change others, but I can't if I don't do the work.
3) At work today I got very insecure (but partly due to my own laziness…) that I haven't gotten far in my project and once again I thought I needed to talk to my boss about getting an extension. I don't know how many more he's going to let me have. My insecurity is making me go back and forth on what I should do. Go talk to him…try and finish the project now. I'm angry with myself! Another would be me getting out and running; I don't want to because I don't want people to see me working out (it seems like every part of my body just wants to freely dance in all directions!).
1. Insecurity can make a liar out of you. I felt like someone had watched parts of my earlier years–before Christ–He slipped His own secure Spirit within our simple jars of clay. Lord Jesus, live through me!
2. A. I want to learn how to live in the freedom My Blessed Savior Jesus purchased for me with His precious Blood "So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." Jn. 8:36 NAS I want to learn how to walk in the resurrected power of My Lord "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead." Phil. 3:10,11.
B. I sabotage relationships (especially my own marriage) by reacting out of fear, rather than responding from secure love."There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" I Jn. 4:18a.
C. I already have decided in my mind that I won't measure up and that's me believing a lie from the pit. My reality is that the God of all the universe "purposed" me as a reflection of His glory at "this time in history" in "this place I live" now. "If God is for me, who can be against me? Rom. 8:31 and "just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world," "In Him also we have obtained an inheritance having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. Eph. 1:4,11,12.
I'm putting this in again, as I forgot to use the word verification and I'm not sure it got sent the first time (around 8:54 a.m. today–if it did, please delete this one–no use using more space than is needed) Love, Denise
Just this week, I felt insecure. I have trouble with confrontation, positive or negative, and I convinced myself that I hurt a friend's feelings. I spent the day upset and in reality I did not upset my friend…only myself.
Confidence and security go hand in hand! I cannot wait until they are faithful companions!
Nichole
Nashville, TN
40's
single
1)What part of ch 7 hit home the most?
"Insecurity can cause a mom to be overcontrolling"—-that slapped me in the face! I have this constant fear that something horrible is going to happen to my daughter because I had her out of wedlock and that it will be my punishment for doing so. So I have always have this need to know where she is, what she is doing every minute of the day. She is the most precioius thing in my life..I raised her on my own because her father was never present in her life. I fear she will make the wrong choices..ie..hanging out with the wrong crowd……being in the wrong place at the wrong time, there are numerous things I could list. One day she brought this to my attention, she said…"Mom, chill out! You raised me right. You raised me in the church and taught me right from wrong. I was brought up in a loving home. You can trust that I am "always" going to make good choices"….Wow!!! Such wisdom from an almost young adult!—–I'm still working on it…but I still like to know what she is up to… 🙂
2)3 reasons WHY it is time to deal with my own insecurities:
1. For my daughter's sake
2. So I can rest in Christ
3. For my sake and my insanity
3) Briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
Recently, my daugther was confronted about something she was NOT involved in….being the overly protective mom…..I stepped in and I have to say I did not react very well!…..now I have to mend broken fences there.
4)Based on ch 8 what does dignity mean to you?
Maintaining my composure without blowing my top. ;)……To trust in Christ and ALWAYS ask for his comfort <><
1.) Several parts of chapter seven hit home with me but the ones that struck the most were about friendships/relationships with other female friends. So many times I compare myself to them or if i am in a group of women trying to capture the attention of them and the stupid things we do or say to be the chosen friend of the group. Also weight issues will forever be something that hits home with me as I have struggled with outer looks all my life. Lastly, insecurity makes us settle…very frustrating to know I could have done better or been better.
2.) Top 3 reasons:
A. This is not how God intended His daughter to live.
B. I have wasted so much time dealing with the consequences of a decision made out of insecurity.
C. I do not want to miss out on future opportunities.
3.) A trigger…the other day a group of 3 other couples and my husband and I were out to dinner and I don't remember how we got to talking about weight issues but the one wife said that her husband told her that if she ever got fat she could pack her bags and leave.
Weight issues are usually always a trigger for me..and so I immediately felt sorry for her and then my mind went on a downward spiral…if you can imagine.
4.) Dignity to me means the respect one has for themselves and others.
Becky, Brunswick, GA, 30's, married
1.Actually, it was the letter from the pastor's wife on page 130: "Insecurity Can Make Us Give An Entirely Wrong Impression."
Why did it hit home with me the most? Because I am the one who longs for this pastor's wife to acknowledge me. The way I think I need to be acknowledged or affirmed. I naively think she has it all together. She sure looks and sounds like she does. It would never occur to me to think she is insecure in any area of her life or that I intimidate her (even if she told me so herself). So if I think she is not interacting with me (the way that I want her to)… I think something is wrong with me… and I become even more insecure… and put even MORE pressure on her… and become even more desperate. As a Christian woman, I want to have another Christian woman to look up to… perhaps be my mentor. I immediately think it must be the pastor's wife.
My heart hurts that I have thrown my weighty expectations on her. And I am glad to know that perhaps it is not too late to make amends. And that through my own stumbling I can shed light on this subject.
2. A. I don't want insecurity to keep me from the abundant life and ministry that God has prepared for me. (Ephesians 2:10)
B. I want to be an example to the women that are in my sphere of influence.
C. I am tired of being held hostage by my insecurity. Especially when it taunts me after the fact… "who do you think you are" or "why did you say that" or "NO ONE wants to hear what you have to say."
3. I recently shared some of my childhood experiences at our women's retreat. As one woman said, "My heart leaped for joy while you were up on stage, because you were showing the pure you, uncut and uncensored." Uncut and uncensored…. Yikes! Almost every woman that attended the retreat has since thanked me or affirmed me or hugged me. I have so felt the love.
But there was one… Well, at least one… that I know of… I found out secondhand (from a gal who had not attended the retreat) that one of the precious sisters that had attended the retreat was distraught. The precious sister was under the impression that I was sharing my past under duress. Which I assured this gal that I had volunteered to share, but then this gal said that experiences like my past should not be discussed in such a large group. Oh, no! Shame covered me like a blanket. I could feel its weightiness. I couldn't breathe.
See! I shouldn't have shared… I was too sensational with details… I was only thinking of myself and not those listening. How could I have been so thoughtless? And then the tears… and almost the ugly cry. It took a little time… some affirmation and prayer from my beloveds… reminding me that I wasn't the one who wanted to get on that stage… It was the Lord's plan. I was obedient. And He will handle the rest.
4. Having value. Being valued. Respect for life. I am God's "prized creation." I am created in God's image. Worthy of respect and high esteem. "Our possession of dignity is not always something we feel. It's got to be something we know. Something we emphatically claim… She is clothed with strength and dignity. Believe it, sister."
Sheri
Portland, Oregon
40's
Married
http://theleakingwindow.blogspot.com/
1)Insecurity in a relationship causing you to compromise yourself (dignity) to try and hold onto the relationship.
2)a.It's exhausting!
b. It has a negative influence on my relationship with man and God.
c. God didn't create me to live this way.
4) Knowing in my heart and mind that I am unconditionally loved and forgiven by my Lord AND because of His forgiveness, being able to forgive myself of the mistakes that insecurity has caused me to make.
40's and Married
I know I'm late on this, but I had to share the victory the Lord is giving me!
Some time this week I did come to the realization that in my insecurity I have mistreated Robert (my man), and I owe him an apology for that. In wondering if I was good enough to come home to, fearing that he would be led astray, and feeling like I had to work to keep him happy, I was dehumanizing him as much as this book talks about the dehumanization of women. In all of that insecurity I wasn't trusting him to be the honest, loyal, man of integrity that I married him for! There are soooooooo many marriages being compromised around me (in very close circles) that I fell into the trap of being fearful that surely we were next. And because Robert was out of town so much with work, it made it even worse. But I have seen evidence already that the Lord is filling my mind with things of HIM thus leaving less and less space for the fear, lack of trust and insecurity. What a blessing to relieve Robert of the responsibility of my feeling of security. And how unfair of me to put that responsibility on him to begin with.
A) I think my answer here would have to be how much we allow ourselves to be robbed of the JOY of life by our insecurity. I have fallen prey to this in two different ways: I either avoid activities because I don't want to be subjected to whatever situation causes me to feel insecure, or I participate in that activity feeling nothing short of tortured while I'm there.
B) It's physically and emotionally draining.
C) It's unfair to others to put the responsibility of my security on them.
Melissa – 30s
married – TN
Forgot my definition of dignity…
Dignity is hard for me to define, I think. I'd like to just look in a dictionary, but I don't think that what's she's looking for! I think the best way for me to explain my perception of dignity is this:
I'm worthy of respect.
I'm worthy of love.
I'm worthy of being fought for.
I'm worthy of protection.
I'm worthy of loyalty.
I'm worthy of being heard.
I'm worthy of being treated honorably.
I'm worthy of forgiveness.
I'm worthy of mercy.
I'm worthy of grace.
I'm worthy of understanding.
Only, ONLY! because I am His handiwork and He has redeemed me.
On the other hand, so are you, and that means you are worthy of all of the above also!
1. My reasons on why now.
a)My children have moved out and I have a lot of time to myself. I am not taking care of someone elses needs.
b)Its about time I started looking at my needs. I can stop tucking away my feelings to deal with later, its later!
c)God has given me reasons that are all falling into place to deal with my insecurity. He is telling me its time to stand tall become who he created me to become. Your book fell right into place. Thank you.
2. Dignity is holding my head up and not being ashamed of who I am and what I have been through or even for what I have done.
God gave me dignity the day I was born. The world has tried to destroy it, but I am gaining it back. One day I will walk into my Fathers house with DIGNITY!
Rosie of Tacoma
50
Married
1. the thing that hit me most about Chapter 7 was that i am not alone in this, and for me that is encouraging..not sure why
2. a. its time for me to stop running from my past
b. my choices have to be made from a healthier standpoint (right beside Jesus, instead of fighting all the way)
c. it time for me to start running to HIM a whole lot more than i have been.
( now i don't remember what #3 was.. i am old)
God broke through to me today where this study is concerned, and in my heart where my insecurity has been more defined..seems that i am just still scared, and altho i know all the answers, i need to allow him to connect it with my heart. i posted a video today on my blog of the song that filled my car today, and brought tears of surrender..i don't know how it will all go from here, but i do love when he reminds me that HE will not leave me, especially because i make stupid choices.
if your interested in hearing the song that fits this study..
http://4evrhis.wordpress.com
Britt Nicole walk on water
thanks for your patience..
forgot my info
40's
PA
Married
30 something
Married w/children
VA
1.I could see myself thru-out ch 7 but what hit closest was the story of the girl holding her Dad's hand. My parents divorced when I was very young and I don't have a strong relationship with my Dad. I remember Daddy trying to reach out to me when I was little but I was too shy and uncomfortable w/him. I didn't even like for him to take me home alone (I dreaded it) because I was so shy around him. Then he and my stepmom had a baby and it was a girl. He already had my older brother as his son now he had his Baby Girl! Dad and I never bonded the way he did with her. She's his "Baby Girl" and I'm his "oldest daughter". It doesn't bother me(much), I understand why–but what does bother me is the fact taht my kids don't really have a special grandparent to love on them. I had that as a child and I want it for them. Someone who wants to spend their freetime w/them and invest in their lives.
2.Top 3 reasons it's time to deal with it:
A) I'm tired of not being comfortable being me!
B)Tired of caring what others think
C)I've been clothed in dignity so there is no reason why I should be uncomfortable in my own skin.
3. To me dignity means God didn't intend for His creation to be some wishy washy, unsure servant. Instead I can accomplish more for Him if I exhibit some God-given confidence.
1. The fact that my disposition/being sensitive can be a big factor in my insecurity. That was a relief! Now I don't feel like beating myself up ….it gave me permission to be forgiving of myself!
3. Trigger of insecurity lately? Well…..as soon as it was happening I knew I was feeling insecure and reacting! I invited one of the preschool moms and her son over for a playdate one day this week. Well I said somethings that I regretted saying (negative opinion type things, maybe gossip!, not anything too huge) and she changed the subject..blew off my comments which was really best. However, I felt horrible about it and questioned her thoughts about me…so I sent this crazy long email…embrassing…over communicating…insecurity!! She has not responded and I am NOT mentioning it anymore..
B
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
Insecurity can make you act like an idiot in female friendships
Insecurity can mak us over compensate
2. (If you're choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity. (We're not looking for right answers. We're looking for YOUR answers. Don't copy off your fellow sojourners' papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don't get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
A. I am tired of feeling like a failure. I am forever aiming for the unrealstic expectations I have for myself and when I miss…..I call myself a failure. I heard myself say it just this morning and I thought I HAVE to deal with this. I recalled the statment made in Chapter 6 which said " we feel bad about ourselves because we are not able to perform as well, or appear as good, as we really think we can". "That's nothing but pride. God forgive me".
B. I am tired of the energy it takes to "over compensate" I can confirm that the "over" requires an inordinate amount of effort!
C. I am tired of clothing myself in armor that I have constructed instead of the armour God provided for me.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
My boss called me into "her" office and shut the door beind me – GAME ON!
You met someone you really admire and said someting stupid – Been mulling over this one for more than a month and had the opportunity to speak to them again and HELLO! DID IT AGAIN!!!!
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you? That whether or not I perceive I have it…. I do, because it's God given and not something I achieve, attain or earn. GEEZ!
What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
Tammy
Cleveland, TN
48
Married
1. What resonated most: Insecurity deceives us and keeps wounds from healing. It keeps us from looking up.
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with it:
a. For my son, so he grows up with a mother who draws her confidence and strength from the Lord 🙂
b. For myself, so that I can be set free from fear and disappointments once and for all!
c. For my Savior because unless I shake this, I will not be able to fully submit to His will and experience His awesome plan for my life
3. I experience triggers every day. I recently emailed a friend who always seems a bit too busy to respond. I'm learning to just appreciate what she is willing to give and to set my expectations aside.
4. Dignity for me means maintaining the honor that my Father in heaven has given me.
Okay…a little late on my comment so bear with me, this by the way is my first comment since we began the book together.
1. Chapter seven was eye opening, I get so quiet and closed off around other people because of insecurity, I know I have missed many opportunities because I feel I don't measure up…how sad!
2. a). My children are my whole world and I want to do right by them!!! I want to be secure for their sake!
b). I want to try new things and follow where God leads me, and not rob myself any longer by insecure thoughts and behaviors. I am tired of settling!
c.) I want genuine relationships, I want my life to count, so I can be a blessing to those around me!
1. Insecurity ROBS me.
2. I am desperately ready to be my real self and get on with the important things in life.
3. When I am unhappy I am most prone to my insecurities being triggered. Yesterday I was cold all day long and doing work I didnt enjoy. That led to a late night binge as an innapropriate compensation.
4. Dignity means being worthy of respect. I need to start by taking care of myself, by respecting myself.
Why it's time to deal:
A. I'm weary of constantly wondering if I'm good enough, doing it right, failing God or somebody else, somehow, with my inability to perform or make the right decisions, choices, etc.
B. I DON'T want to pass this trait on to my children!
C. I hold onto the hope that God has something better in store for me, and even though I'm 46, maybe it's not too late to find it so that one day I too can hear, "Well done!"
3. Recent trigger: Insecure over what to do with my children next year in regards to homeschooling my kids. I won't go into detail, just suffice it to say I feel incapable and wrong no matter what I decide to do, I'm afraid it will be wrong. If I send them back, they will be ruined, but if I keep them home, I will ruin them. Fun stuff that flies around in my head! Satan's a jerk and I hate him!
Tammi
Missouri
married, 46
DO THIS FIRST SO I DON'T FORGET THIS TIME!! HAHA
Kristi
30's
Knoxville, TN
married
1. What hit home the most….HOW DESPERATE WE ARE!!
2. 3 reasons I must deal with insecurity…
a…SICK OF IT!!! It has stole too much way too long!
b…My children…I do not want to pass this to the!
c…I Deserve better. God has created me for more than this.
4. Dignity….Thank you for pointing these points out..
I already have dignity. All people have God-Given dignity. WOW…it is not something I have to pursue…I HAVE IT! I am worthy of it and I don't have to seek it from others. They can't give it to me anyway…It is GOD-given.
There is no pride when I get it from God…He is the one giving it…nothing from me. Pride comes in when I try to get it from others. What freedom that gives me! I already have it, it is from God alone and I don't have to strive for it.
I was told so often as a little girl, "You have an inferiority complex!" I didn't understand what that was but I knew it was bad…so I must be bad. I wasn't as cute as my younger sister or as whatever as anyone I was compared to in my mind, so I believed the lies that the enemy planted. It wasn't until becoming a believer and deciding to learn the Word, speak the Word, and hide it in my heart that I began to see who I was created to be. I have felt like an onion being peeled a layer at a time. When I think something has been dealt with, I rest and rejoice only to find out that more peeling is ahead. Beth, you have given me the courage to continue to freedom and wholeness!I am clothed with strength and dignity!!! Our God is an awesome God.
This season is so rich. I can sense God saying that it is time for the Bride to make herself ready. This is part of that readiness. Thank you for being honest and transparent with us and leading us into wholeness.
Pam
Austin, TX
60's
I am the bootlicker, so I guess that one obviously resonates with me, but as I was reading about the woman who said she sent an e-mail to her friend and didn't hear back and thought the woman must hate her…I thought that I often jump to conclusions and think the worst.
Also, on page 112, you wrote, "We worry a detail half to death." Yep, that's me!
2. Top 3 reasons to conquer insecurity:
A.Not only do I not want to say somthing that's embarrassing, I'm tired of worrying and "thinking things to death" too.
B. I think it would make me be more free in my spirit to be who God made me to be.
C. So I can be a good role model for my kids.
3. God helped me trust Him in a recent situation. Not only did He keep my mouth shut, but He gave me peace through it. It was a huge moment to see that maybe if I would trust Him more, and not the old ways of handling a situation, then I'd have a monumental break through!
4. I loved the chapter on dignity. I hadn't realized point B on page 146…"you live in constant risk of your stifled insecurities getting triggered." I guess I had always thought I handled them well before until they rear their ugly head again and i ask my self why I reacted that way all over again. I am so glad to see the dissection of the Proverbs 31 verse.."to possess dignity is to be worthy of respect. Worthy of high esteem." Love that!
Momma Beth, I have to say a big Thank you for the video, I can not tell you how much it ment to me today, and I didn't even realize how very much I needed to hear what you said. This Arkansas girl loves you and your precious heart!.<3
1.ALL OF IT! There was one after the other, meaning that I am not alone in this fight to the finish, I found myself in more then one of those stories.
2.A.I have an 18 yr. old daughter whom I have saturated with phrase after phrase of her value in Christ, yet she still struggles. I can see now it is b/c I wasn't truly secure in Christ, I was prideful.
B. I am tired!! I have felt exhausted trying to run around finding my worth in what others might think of me or in how they treat me.
c. I want to be happy, at peace, and quit dwelling on the past.
Thank you again for helping me seek the truth, I am able to start cleansing my heart of hurts and insecurities. Not an easy road to go down, but I will not quit.
Traci
Momma of 2 teens
married for almost 20 yrs.
38 yrs old
1) Insecurity as jealousy hit home to me the most. I find myself being proud way too often than I’d like. Also, bad choices/decision with past relationships.
2) A. To be happy with my circumstances, with what I have been blessed with.
B. To be forthcoming with my testimony with fellowshipping and with being able to pray outloud without the fear that others will think what I say is dumb.
C. To be able to face new challenges and daily living with less insecurity.
3) I was up again the 2nd time in as little as 3 weeks for a higher position at work. I just found out literally 15 minutes ago that I again was not chosen for the position. Talk about insecurity. I had printed out the next week’s assignment and already had my 5 verses picked out and look down and saw, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” I thanked him for putting that in my hands when he did because I really needed it. It is still hard not to be insecure, but I think I handled it better than I did 3 weeks ago.
4) Dignity is to be worthy of respect.
Amanda
Wilmington, NC (ocean side)
30's and loving it
Happily Married
1. What part of Ch. 7 hits home with me the most? The story about the pastor's wife whose insecurity gives others the impression that she's a snob. I can so relate to that! I don't have alot of people telling me I act like a snob, but I get the impression that I may appear that way to people who don't know me. I'm not real good at small talk and don't know what to say to people I don't know.
2. Top 3 reasons it's time to deal with my insecurity:
a. I'm tired of it holding me back from trying new things
b. I'm tired of it causing me to be unkind to my huband
c. I'm tired of it causing me stress. I'm such a perfectionist.
3. A recent trigger would be at work. We had a SACS visit to our campus. Every employee in my work area was invited to the board room to introduce themselves – everyone but me
4. To me, dignity means being a woman of strength and wisdom.