So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
campbell6 
Thing that struck me most from Chapter 7: the poser. Pretending to be something you’re not so everyone will think more of you. Newsflash self: there’s nothing wrong with ME!
Top 3 reasons it’s time to deal with insecurity:
A. It’s a generational sin of unbelief in my family trailing down from both of my parents. I really took a stand in Breaking Free to stop the generational sin in my family with ME and to bring back those ancient boundary stones to the places where they need to be; however, my insecurity wasn’t dealt with. God has now brought me to a place of disgust. My parents are both strangled by it and my grandparents that are living struggle with it. My aunts, uncles and cousins do nothing but “pose” when we get together. For pity’s sake if you have to POSE in front of the people who KNOW you how in the world are you going to be real to complete strangers. How sad! I don’t want my children to “drag their behinds around for lack of two good back legs” like Gilda’s dog when there is nothing but pride and fear stopping all of us from standing tall and walking with dignity! Gracious to goodness we’re all professing Christians. IT. STOPS. HERE. IT. STOPS. NOW.
B. I was allowed to be in relationship with boys from a really young age like most of us – 11 or 12. Not sexual relationships, but the kind where a little girl thinks she’s probably going to marry that 5th grade boy who would really rather just be playing basketball than holding your hand anyhow. And pretty soon he runs off to play ball and your heart feels rejection. That happened to me every 3 months from 5th grade to marriage. I was a Christian girl and would NEVER, NEVER hurt someone’s feelings by breaking up with them. I thought of others as more important than myself. Boy was that all mixed up in my head and heart! But the rejection button was pushed so many times that now I sabotage my relationship with my sweet hubby of 14 years subconsciously believing he’s going to leave. He’s on to my history of rejection and understands what I’m doing before I do most of the time. However, the reality is: he’s still human and this is sin. The wages of sin is death. If I don’t deal with this, our marriage may not die, but his complete head over heels romantic love for me may get awfully dried out. I don’t want to lose our closeness over my fears. I need to deal with this. He wants me to deal with this. I don’t want our kiddos to sense my underlying fear and become insecure because of it!
C. I want to be a good example to my friends. I want to live a life that leads. There’s nothing wrong with hair dye, make – up and treadmills UNLESS THEY ARE AN IDOL and I don’t want them to be that. I’ve never been one to worry about all of those things but as the years add up I’m starting to notice a few gray hairs, bigger pores and droopiness in more than my eyelids! I don’t want to make an idol where there hasn’t been one. I want to grow older gracefully. My hubby likes my natural country girl look and I like it too. I need to make up my mind that that’s all that matters RIGHT NOW before I get eaten alive by the “you’re not twenty five anymore” monster.
Here's the rest of my comment! I haven't posted much and this time really, really spoke to me so I wanted to share it all! 🙂
3. A recent trigger of insecurity for me is my mom criticizing me. We had to work on a ministry project together over several weeks. In the beginning I stressed and it affected my hubby and kiddos. After getting started on this book and group God changed my heart and I was able to not be “sucked in” to her swirling tornado. I was able to look at it as I look on my 6 year old when he’s throwing a fit and allow grace to raise me up above the situation and not be drawn into the middle of it. God also worked it out for me to excuse myself publicly (major fears conquered!) from the entire ministry team without flesh completely taking over. I FEEL. SO. FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. What is dignity?
I don’t need to get my dignity BACK, I need to recognize that it’s always BEEN THERE. I joke that my helmet of salvation needs a chin strap but my crown of dignity needs one as well! Dignity is part of my wardrobe as a daughter of Christ but I have to BELIEVE that it’s there and if and when I do then it frees me up not to be prideful, but (to quote a Bethism from somewhere) to “go ahead and wash a few feet”. Dignity releases me to serve from the “loving well” that will never run dry. That kind of beauty makes Clairol and Maybelline pale in comparison. That’s the kind of beauty that makes grown children rise up and call you blessed. Better yet, that’s the kind of stuff that causes GOD to esteem ME. Hallelujah!
I. AM. CLOTHED. WITH. STRENGTH. AND. DIGNITY.
Believing it.
Margie
NW MO
Early 30’s (had to throw the early in!!!)
Sorry, I've been meaning to post this for a couple of days now.
1. Two parts hit me in chapter 7. First and foremost, I continually make an idiot of myself with female friendships. The other is that I deal alot with weight issues and feeling that I am not pretty enough.
2. A. So tired of taking things too personal and feeling as though I have been taken advantage of.
B. No longer want to battle with my insecurities. I want to feel emotionally free and live life to the fullest.
C. No longer want to allow Satan to have this stronghold over me.
3. I just had a trigger last week. One of my mentor's mom told me that I could no longer talk to my teenage friend about spiritual things or things going on in her life. "That is what her counselor is for." Mentor's mom is a Christian. At first, I took it personal, but I didn't react like I would have in the past. In the past, I would have lost sleep and thought about it all the time. It would have put me in a depression mode for weeks. That night, I slept like a baby, and haven't thought about it too much.
4. I love the fact that dignity means that I am worthy of respect. Too many times, I allow people to disrespect me and talk down to me. Not any more…
Thanks, Beth for writing this book, and thank you more to God for giving you the idea.
The parts in chapter seven that struck home for me were under the headings "INSECURITY EXPLODES WITH REJECTION AND CAN TWIST OUR PERCEPTION"
Something happened the other day and AGAIN (Darn it) I felt left out rejected and replaced. Along with those feelings I felt devalued and then I got angry which leads me to my next heading "INSECURITY CAN TALK US INTO THINGS WE DON'T WANT TO DO." In anger I bit my friends head off in response to how I felt and it was MY perception that caused that response. Man, the LORD was on me like white on rice He said this to me "why did you do that, they were only asking you a question I know you feel rejected and jealous" Why? Who do I say you are?" I realized it was the same issue as last week only this time because He is merciful He nipped it in the bud and brought it to my attention then rather than later. So,after a few tears I said "LORD I don't think i want to go around that mountain again I think it will just make me and you dizzy". We both laughed and then I had to go apologize. Beth you are certainly right about it taking time to change our responses to those situations that push those buttons. I thank and give Glory to God for Jesus. Which brings me to the last heading that spoke to me "INSECURITY CAN BE A RELENTLESS ROBBER" I think that heading speaks for itself because most if not all of the other headings come right back around to this one insecurity of any type will never fail to rob us of something. I just want to say to the siesta that wrote this on Pg.126 "I so desperately wanted someone to love me-anyone to love me." I can so feel that and relate to it.
2) MY own personal top three reasons as to why it's time to deal with MY insecurities.
A)I AM SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING SICK AND TIRED.
B)I want my Journey with Jesus to be intimate and progressive. I want to have the life of abundance he came to give me and I can't have that to the full measure without allowing Him to minister me out of this pit of insecurity hell.
C)I want more than just my dignity back I want my confidence back. I don't want people to manipulate or have power over me that only God should have.
3)Yes the incident I described in question 1 was pretty recent and it absolutely got a rise out of me.
4) Dignity to me means really knowing and believing I am who God says I am. Which, is having an absolute knowledge of my self worth in Christ and not what anyone else thinks.
Ginny
Schenectady NY
50's
Never Married
1. Page 126 – I too was abused and I allowed it to affect how I thought of myself and what decisions I made because I wanted to be loved.
2. A. So God can use me without insecurity getting in the way
B. For my family
C. To break the cycle – so my children may grow up secure
3. Offhanded comment from a person who has a teeny stench of superiority about him/her.
4. Respecting who I am in Christ.
Kristin
AL
30's
Married
I'm a little behind… but catching up quickly. Ok, her goes:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. A. God wants something MORE with me. B. I'm tired of insecurity making me a wimp. C. I want to grab hold of the destiny He has planned for me.
3. A recent trigger: I have recently realized that anytime God asks me to do something that I perceive may hurt MY "reputation" (usually, that means it would be good for HIS), I become Jonah and run the other direction as fast as I can. The other night, I felt God say to me "tell the gal at the Starbucks counter that I love her". I was like, "WHAT! NOW? HERE?…. NO!" and I didn't! All the way home each exit was beckoning "turn around". It bothered me until I called 10 minutes before they closed and asked to speak to the girl who helped me. And I did what I was asked to do… but a little later than I was asked to do it. But praise God He gave me the strength!… for something seemingly so simple…. this is my MAJOR trigger though, and God has started asking me to step up, so I can step into a more intimate relationship with Him (figured this out after Session 8 on love in the new Breaking Free—very profound!)
4. Dignity means my head held up by the gentle, strong, loving, and gracious hand of the Most High God.
Kim, 30, married, RSM, California
#2
A) Because this is not the way I was created to live
B) God has something for me to do and I am not doing it because of my insecurities and fear
C) I want to be FREE of living my life letting insecurity impact so much of who I am and what I do – I truly want to be living my life to the fullest
#3 "You met someone you really admire and said something stupid."
Really for me it is I meet anybody and in my desire for them to like me I open my mouth and after walking way go over it all and replay it in my head all while kicking myself for the stupid things that came out of my mouth. This is all done in my attempt to be funny, or really just likable because otherwise (I think) they may just pass me by or I am not interesting enough or intelligent enough for them and I fear the possibility of rejection that I think is around the corner.
Yep that is me all the time it feels.
Lydia, OKC OK; 21 and single.
1. Insecurity can make us compete with girls we love. And insecurity can blind us by how blessed we really are.
2. A.)I am tired of being insecure. B.) I know God did not create me with a spirit of fear. C.) I believe a godly, confident woman is attractive, and I want to be like that.
3. Found out my ex is already dating someone new and 'loves' her very much….and I am still single and have no prospects.
4. Honor, someone deserving of respect, classy, and confident.
1. The two I identified most with are seeing a gifted person as competition. I am definitive perfectionism/insecurity combo so I see competition to my abilities everywhere. Also, giving others the wrong impression. My insecurity keeps me quiet , which has made others think I am, quiet or shy or snobbish, or dumb, or other.
2. Three reasons I need to address insecurity are:
– insecurities are increasing as I get older. Becoming a mom increased them ten fold, I never lost the baby weight, and I went to part time at work which leaves me insecure about my contributions.
– I don't want to miss opportunties that my insecurity keeps me away from.
– I want the Lord to be the source of my thoughts and worries and issues. I am tired of spending so much time and effort obsessing over insecurities, reliving every thing I've done, second guessing everything I've said. Life is too short to spend on those things.
Kris in Alabama
30s and married
1. I often feel inferior and self-conscious for various reasons. It holds me back from making relationships and doing things I have a passion for because I think I am not good enough or will fail.
2. A. Because I don’t want always want to live with regrets and wonder “what if I would have been brave enough to do…
B. Steals my joy and it’s unnecessary.
C. Want to break the cycle with me so it doesn’t get passed down to my own daughter.
3. A very recent trigger was just this week. I pored my heart out to a girl friend and he just didn’t get it, I told her to much and felt rejected/annoyed and hurt that she didn’t respond how I would have liked. (Pride much)
4. I may not always feel it but I am worthy of respect and honor because I am made in the image of Christ my savior!
Top 3 reasons it's time to deal with my insecurities:
A.)I want to be strong (in Christ) for the Lord to use me.
B.)God has dealt with me patiently long enough. It's time for victory!
C.)Last but not least, for my Husband and my Children.
What does dignity mean to me?
Believing in myself as Christ-worthy!
A person worthy of God's love.
Head held high!
Honor, noble character, integrity.
Pam
40s
Florida
Cheri C.
40
Vancouver, WA
2. A) I do not want to pass my insecurities on to my kids.
B) I'm driving myself nuts
C) I'm driving myself nuts
Recent trigger? My daughter walked to a friend's house (literally across the street) and I freaked out that in the meantime she'd been kidnapped. I constantly check the front window to see if her bike is still there, etc. My parents instilled a very unhealthy fear of predators, probably from birth. It gets me nearly every time.
Sandi
Marion, NC
39
Married
1)Part of chapter 7 that hit home with me: The stories from the Step Mothers because I am a Step Mom who loves her Step Daughters dearly and wants so desparately to be affirmed as a good Step Mom. This chapter made me realize how much I have tried to put it on them to make me feel secure in my role. That is way too much pressure for a 6 and 11-year-old!
The stories about friendships hit home with me as well because I have felt like a third wheel in many of my friendships and take it way too personally when I am not included in some acitivites.
2) 3 reasone why it is time to deal with insecurity:
1) Makes me put all attention on myself and consumed with myself which causes me to suck the attention and energy out of others.
2)Cripples my ability as a Step Mom
3)Makes me a terrible employee
3)Latest trigger of insecurity:
My step daughter was in the hospital last week. Her Mom and my husband spent the night with her in the E.R. The next day my husband said she was going to have a procedure done but he wanted me to stay at work because we needed the money that my job provides. I have tortured myself wondering if it is really because he or his wife did not want me there because I would upset my step daughter if I cried but my husband was afraid he would hurt me. I'm afraid he thinks he can't be honest with me because I'm so insecure.
4) What dignity means to me:
Dignity-worthy of respect. Worthy of high esteem. If we knew what God has cinferred upon us, what every body else thought of us would grow less and less significant. Oh, that God would impress that on my heart and get it through my thick head!!
I'm late, sorry, but I didn't want to skip anything or rush through these chapters (I'm absolutely determined to overcome my insecurity). (1) What hit home the most in ch. 7 – (Besides the fact that I recognized myself in several examples) for me it's not enough for me to overcome MY insecurities, I want to take it a step further (now that I can recognize the things we do in insecurity) and be more understanding with people (esp. women) when they are doing things out of insecurity. (2) Top three reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity (A) I'm over it, funny thing is that it was my 01/01/10 New Year's Resolution (God is so good) that I'm reading this book with 6,000+ women right now in my life is a blessing from the Lord, I'm absolutely positive that He is answering my prayers for a great healthy humble self-esteem (B) I know that the Lord has a job for me to reach non-believers that I would not have accepted with low self-esteem (C) I want to be a good example to my family & friends that through Jesus Christ we can heal instead of cope (btw I love that! That will be one sentence of your book that will carry with me forever "take the time to heal and not just cope") (3)Trigger – I have got the worst habit of just saying something/anything, rather than remaining quiet or listening. I feel like I have to fill in the gap or say something to make them feel better, grrrrrr……. rattling off whether it's good and I overstate it OR just blabbing BUT I beat myself up ALL the time over it-Help me gracious father. (4) Dignity – it's kind of tricky, for me it's that feeling that I get when I start to feel worthless that "I am an ambassador for God" it also gives me the courage to be different, step out and be kind to someone else when no one else will or walk away when I'm with someone talking about something that I shouldn't be listening too or the courage to talk about Jesus Christ when I know everyone will look at me weird. It's the peaceful feeling that I get when I don't look and act trendy. I love each of you and your encouraging words!
1) I think all the stories in chapter 7 hit home with me at one point in my life – which means insecurity has been with me in every season of life for the past 50 years! Yikes! The one that hits home with me currently is that insecurity confines us. I can't even get out of bed somedays to face the world!
2) Time to deal with my insecurities…
A) So I can get out of bed in the morning.
B) So I can get a job. My husband needs my help with finances now that we have 2 kids in college but I'm too scared to go back to work after so many years of being out of the work force.
C) So I can stop focusing on self. What I'M wearing, what I'M saying, what I'M doing or not doing, etc. It's exhausting.
4. Dignity means to me…To be respected, worthy or esteemed.
I know in my brain that Jesus counts me worthy, but not feelin it!
More reading
Shelly
50's married
Albuquerque
Kim
Springfield, IL
30's headed to 40
Married
I chose two questions from the four.
1. I think after reading chapter 7 I just realized how much of a disaster insecurity can cause in a life. I remembered times when I lost it and acted like a crazy women. I felt a sadness for all of us.
2.Why now? First, I knew I was insecure at times, but after reading this book I realize that insecurity has a bigger place in my life than I realized. So, because God wants us to free, I want to be free…in this area and other areas of my life.
Second, I have a opportunity to lead a group of young women, and I want them to know they can be free of insecurity and not make some of the mistakes I made. But they won't listen to me, and I wouldn't expect them to if they don't see me trying and then being set free from security myself…I must lead by example.
Last, I want the abundant life Jesus has for me, and I know insecurity is not part of that life…
Angie
32 just this week! : )
Indiana
Married
Sorry I didn't get this off before Thursday!
1)I felt three things hit home from chapter 7…a) Being a "poser"–I always want to be the "ideal Angie" based on what I think everyone else would think, which is wrong on so many levels! : ) b)Lying–I certainly lie/over-exaggerate to get the biggest reaction I can or the most attention and "woah" type reactions c)Feeling insecure that I can't quite seem to break free of my insecurities!
2) Top 3 reasons it's time I deal with my insecurities…a) My marriage. My husband has told me that I don't seem like the secure woman he married 7+ years ago and our sex life definitely shows that to be true. b) My 3 1/2 year old daughter, Lily. How am I supposed to teach her Truth if I don't believe it myself. c) I'm tired of trying to differenciate between what is my passionate heart/caring heart and what is pride. I want everything I do to be out of my God-given heart and not out of a need to feel good about myself.
3) A trigger of insecurity recently: I just got done leading our church's women's retreat (65 women). I'm also a breastfeeding mom and so I had to bring my 4 month old son along on the retreat. I was joined by two other breastfeeding moms and their babies. All in all, the babies did well considering the upheaval of their routines and environment and I was so blessed that these women felt brave enough to come with babies in tote because I knew they needed (as I did) to get away from life. However, since I was leading the retreat I got the task of reading through the evals at the end. Let's just say there were multiple evals complaining about how disruptive the babies were and I just sat there crying, mad, and insecure. I'm still frustrated! How do women expect to minister to those desperate for women to women relationships if they don't allow them to come to an event just because they have a God-given responsibility to feed their child? It's beyond me…and yet I still sit here bewildered that by my choice to bring my son along, I disrupted someone else's retreat.
4) Dignity–I guess it's standing strong and upright not based on what I have done, but what God has done on the inside. I admit fully that I struggle to differenciate between dignity and pride. I must still be stuck too much on myself and not God in me.
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why? I didn’t realize I had been made to look like a fool. I have been so blinded that I didn’t realize what a fool I have really looked like.
2. Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity. A. I am tired of the cycle I am in. B. I am tired of the cycle I am in. C. I am tired of the cycle I am in.
I have been a Christian for what seems like my whole life. But growing up in church, I feel I have missed the point of that very personal relationship with God somehow. I can not believe how insecure I have been and also the lack of faith and trust I have in my God. He has saved my soul and is my Lord and Savior, THERE IS NOTHING THAT MY GOD CAN'T DO!!!!!!
Now more than ever, I KNOW GOD DIRECTED MY PATH HERE FOR THIS TIME IN MY LIFE. HE KNEW I WAS READY TO CHANGE. THANK YOU GOD.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you. I simply do not want to deal with my stepson. Every time I have to do anything concerning him, I get extremely emotional. It is a major stress for me. I really don’t know how to be a step-mom, so I am completely and utterly insecure in that area. Since he lives with us, well I realize now that I face that insecurity EVERY DAY! This is an area where I do want to change, but it is just so easy to just not deal with it. I need a complete change of heart that only God can do for me in this area.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you? I have always associated dignity with a proud person. I am still somewhat not sure where that fine line is concerning dignity and pride. To me people with dignity are well-respected people. I have never imagined myself has having dignity. My KJV bible states the Proverb 31 scripture as Strength and honor. I have never thought of honor and dignity as the same either. Wow, have I been blinded. My prayer now is to understand dignity more.
Robin
30s
married
VA
Tess
30, Married
Missouri
1) I identified that I was an over-controlling mom that does a lot of overcompensating.
2) Need to deal with it because
A) For my daughter's sake – I am a mess because she is going to be going off to Kindergarten this fall. I grew up poor with yard sale clothes and was continually made fun of. I found myself so scared of letting her go off to school and find myself being very materialistic, thinking if I provide her with the perfect outfits and name brand clothes that will somehow protect her from teasing. Such a backward look on things.
B) For my husband. He has dealt with my insecurity enough. I want a solid marriage centered in Christ and not focused on "Woe is Me" and my insecurities. I will find the assurance I need in my Jesus instead forcing that upon my husband who does not want the job.
C) I need to do it so I can move forward in my Spiritual life. God has called me to minister by writing and my fear of failure and my insecurities that I am not good enough has prevented me from fully pursuing it. I know God wants to do more with me, but first I need to focus on Him and what He can do through me, instead of focusing on how He is doing just fine without me.
1. “Not only can insecurity talk us into disastrous relationships, it can talk us out of great ones. ‘Because of deep insecurity and shame, I said no to marrying my very best friend and the most godly man I have ever known. Fifteen years later I am often caught off guard with memories that reveal that I still mess him and his friendship dearly.”
This hit home with me especially because I am in a GREAT relationship now that has the potential for marriage. The man is amazing: a God-fearing leader who has the most compassion heart I have ever seen and someone who compliments and balances me out wonderfully. Yet, I’m a doubter. Not only do I tend to over-think things, I tend to think the worst and project 5-10 years out how something may turn out. Being at the Siesta Celebration in January, Beth spoke straight to my heart about God’s word being a “lamp to our feet” instead of a spotlight into the future. This part in chapter 7 reminded me that I can think and doubt my way out of a great relationship God has intended for me.
2. A. I want to lose insecurity so that I can continue to become the woman after God’s own heart that He intended me to be
B. I want to deal with insecurity because I want to be a SECURE woman with my decisions, actions, and beliefs.
C. I want to deal with insecurity so that I can point others to the One who makes us secure.
3. Because of the fear and unsettledness in the office this week, nothing hit me harder than this trigger:
“Your boss calls you into her office and shuts the door”
Today something similar triggered my fear. And the insecurity struck. I kept my cool- “Even if we didn’t give our weakness away to the person nearest us, aren’t we still painfully aware that insecurity got to us—again?”
And the insecurity started. Nothing else has been on my mind all day. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking about the “what ifs”, the insecurities that could be exposed in the worst case. And I have gotten worried. Is there anything that shows insecurity worse, other than freaking out and becoming worried about stuff that hasn’t happened yet? That’s my strongest insecurity and how the devil really gets a grasp on me.
“Simply put, nothing makes a woman feel weaker than insecurity. When a wave of it hits us, don’t we despise ourselves for not being able to handle the trigger better?”
So I’m going through this book, this journey, intent on handling this insecurity in a whole different way. Looking back on my life, anytime something uncertain arose, I responded by freaking out. How unhealthy. And exactly how I don’t want to be anymore. God heal me.
Michelle
OKC
20s
Single
Better late than never.
The part of Chap. 7 that hit closest to home for me was the last story about the little girl and her daddy. Never getting to know my real father left a big, empty hole and a gnawing hurt that he apparently didn't want to know me. My mother didn't help the situation any by refusing to tell me anything about him…she was only concerned about her feelings. Many years later while I was reading Romans 8:15 I realized that I did have a REAL father who did love me and wanted me. God is my "Abba"…my Father.
My 3 reasons for dealing with insecurities once and for all are:
A. To get over the feeling I'm not worth bothering with.
B. If my experiences will help another to know they aren't alone, to have the courage to reach out.
C. To get out of my own way and let God use me.
KarenM
60s
Married
El Paso, TX
Debbie
Rochester, MN
50s (barely)
1. We act like who we believe ourselves to be.
2. A. Because I’m not a fully available, effective tool for God to use if I don’t.
B. God has taken me so far already on this journey. I was in the bottom of the pit and now I live so much more spiritually healthy. But I know He isn’t finished with me. I want Him to complete the good work that He started in me.
C. I hate when I feel the weakness of insecurity and I love it when I feel dignified.
3. A couple of weeks ago I had a friend correct me on how I should be leading worship. This was between our two services. He did not get a rise out of me because I knew his comments were coming from his own insecurity, and God and I have already worked through me being able to serve in this way, and I know that He is pleased.
4. God restored dignity to me 3 years ago. I was studying Ps. 51, and in doing a word study on vs. 12 I found that the word for “willing” in the phrase “grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.” (TNIV) meant “dignity, nobility.” I was completely overwhelmed that God would be able and willing to restore my dignity and nobility after living a life under the shadow of child abuse and doing my own damage from there. I will never get over His amazing grace!
Patti, from March 5,2010 at 8:22 am…Please don't let the enemy isolate you from your sisters in Christ. You need other people around you to encourage you in your struggle, we all do. Stay with us! You don't have to read every post, but you are a siesta in Christ and we want you to stay in this group, please.
Dawn
late 30's
married
Olmsted Falls, Ohio
1. "Insecurity can veil our vision and blind us to how blessed we are!" The example under that statement was not a specific one I related to, but just the whole thing about measuring myself against others.
2. Top 3 reasons it is time to deal with my insecurity
a. One of my fav songs is "In Christ Alone." I sing the words, "In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song . . ." It's time to believe those words and place my security where it belongs – in my relationship with Christ – and not external factors
b. It is unhealthy to me, my family, my friends.
c. I want to be a strong example to other women in my sphere of influence of what security in Christ looks like.
3. A recent trigger of insecurity definitely got a rise out of me. Wore to work a very modest, very cute, stylish new outfit that hubby bought for my birthday. Several offhanded comments (based more on the fact that it was more stylish than what I normally wear) were made. Nothing bad – just bringing lots of attention to it. Felt very self-conscious from that point – would have gone home and changed clothes if it wouldn't have brought more attention. Mostly I retreated and withdrew in my office that day to avoid other comments. My husband loved it, family members loved it, friends loved it . . . so why did I let my co-worker's comments affect me that way?!!! INSECURITY!!! Makes me so mad that I plan to wear it again soon with confidence!
4. Dignity means honor. It makes me worthy of respect and is a gift of God, not dependent on other influences.
1) Chapter 7 to me was a great look into other ladies' minds and see that other people have hang-ups just like I do. Sometimes I think I am the only one who has hang-ups! But I can see that I'm not and that other people have even more interesting ones than I do!
2) I want to deal with my insecurities because: a) I don't want to waste time worrying about pleasing other people for the wrong reason and with the wrong motive–just God with the right motive. b) I have two daughters who are watching me, and I want them to both see what a secure woman in Christ looks like. c) Insecurity can be a crippler in relationships and in life and sometimes I let it get in the way of taking risks and even being obedient to God. I don't want to be crippled in that manner.
3) I am coaching a team of 8th grade girls for a basketball tournament this weekend. I haven't had that role for 6 years now,since I decided to stop teaching and coaching and stay home with my kids. I was feeling a little insecure about my ability to relate to kids and my knowledge about the sport because of the long break I have taken. Once I got in the gym and got practice started, I was fine. Sometimes it's just the IDEA of doing something outside of my comfort zone that makes me unsure of myself. If I just forget about it, and dive right in, things usually go just fine. Probably because I let God handle it, rather than trying to do it in my own strength.
4) In my mind, dignity is a quality other people respect because there is a quiet source of strength and grace, and unwavering commitment. It's not pride, but it is an inner strength that is unshakeable. A person with dignity is not rocked by her relationships or her circumstances. Her roots are planted in a foundation secure in who God is, not what her circumstances are or have been.She knows who she is in the Lord and that her security is in him. What a quality to have!
Mindy
Oakdale, CA
30s
Single
I am a bit behind, but so VERY thankful that comments are 'allowed' beyond the weekly assigned date. 🙂
1. I feel as though I'm repeating myself, but SO MANY parts of chapter 7 hit home with me!!! If I were to pick one that stuck out above the rest it would be that "Insecurity can keep us from accepting compliments and, far worse, from accepting love." In my last post, I spoke of an incident that occurred in Junior High that still affects me today.
I often don't believe people when they tell me they care about me (particularly men) and therefore search for ways that they SHOW they care (no pressure!). Identifying this root of insecurity, while helpful, has not necessarily kept me from doubting motives and accepting the love that others offer me.
2. My top three reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity are;
A. My children deserve a healthy, secure, dignified mother!
B. One of my greatest desires is to be married and have a supportive husband and this WILL NOT happen (successfully) without some personal security first (I have all but run off every interested male that has come along)!
C. God cannot use me in the way He created me to be used until I am secure in who I truly am (INTENTIONAL CREATION)!
NOTE: After typing this, I realized that 'C' should really be 'A', in terms of priority (I even thought about changing it – out of insecurity, of course!). In the spirit of being truthful and exposed, I am leaving it the way it is. I am praying that one day I can honestly say that GOD is – and will always be – at the top of my list!
Way late but thought I would leave it anyway.
2. (A) Because I am not getting any younger. (B) I owe it to Jesus – I owe it to the Body of Christ. (C) Because I want to.
Kathie
Satsuma, Alabama
58
oops! Only answered one.
Recent trigger of insecurity:
Someone dear continued to do what I expressed please don't do and I reacted badly BUT I finally figured out WHY! I felt REJECTED! And I finally figured out it was just ME feeling that way; that is not what they were doing. I am much better now!! So grateful to finally see why!
Kathie
Satsuma, Alabama
58
Becca
Salem, OR
20's
Married
2. Reasons to deal with my insecurities NOW:
a) mom of two little girls
b) holding me back from ministering for Christ
c) I want the joy, peace, and radiance that seems to be buried
3. A recent trigger – in a small group with my coworkers. I don't do well with my peers but I was more willing to be myself, be honest, not embarrassed or turning red in the face!
4. dignity = worth, being able to stand up straight
1. The excerpt about worrying, jumping to conclusions and becoming consumed w/ anxiety when you don't hear from your man really hit home with me. The obsessive thoughts (and in some extremes behavior) that runs through our minds is all to familiar to me- it really is paralyzing.
2. Top three reasons to deal with my insecurity
a. It's causing me to miss out on new relationships and limits me in the relationships I currently have
b. I'm tired of living in fear, doubt and worry
c. I really believe that insecurity may be keeping me from good plans that God has for me
3. My most recent trigger occured in church this past Sunday when I caught a guy I've got an interest in look at another very attractive woman walking into service.
4. I see a dignified woman as someone you innately respect and honor, a woman with class.
Sweet Sisters,
I think this is a great time to remind ourselves how much courage it has already taken to face these tender things. We have all felt raw.
If you are feeling alone or in need of a Godly friend to process this weighty material…
PLEASE consider walking through your hurts with a licensed Christian Counselor. God has gifted them to help us with these tender things.
I think Mama Beth would be happy to know we are seeking personal attention to bind up our wounds. It is all HIS work, but let's be open to others help.
Praying for healing for us all and resting in the fact that it is a PROCESS. Please do not feel condemnation for not arriving yet.
Lauren
Jessica
27
married
OH
(If you're choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity. (We're not looking for right answers. We're looking for YOUR answers. Don't copy off your fellow sojourners' papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don't get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
A. For Him
B. For myself
C. For everyone
Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
-I am worthy of respect. I have worth, God thinks the world of me and I am secure daily in His arms. His Truth should ring louder than any other truths the world, people, things are trying to tell me. My worth is in him, not these THINGS.
Thank you, Beth and everyone else involved in this work! Thank you for listening to the cries of women and obeying God in doing this work!
Erica
Van Buren, MO
32
Married
1)The part of chapter 7 that hit home with me the most was that no matter what we've done, where we've gone, or how unloveable we may feel we are that God delights in being able to say, "Look, look, everybody! This is My child!" To know that nothing can remove me from His grip is soothing to my soul.
2) A)So I can be wholly and completely available to be used by the Lord with nothing standing in my way…especially myself;-)
B)So I can pass on this wonderful book to others so they, too, can learn how to break the pattern of insecurity.
C)So I can be a better mother, building my children up in the Lord and leading by example.
3)My recent trigger involves my insecurity with my health. Being such a new breast cancer survivor, I am still very much in tune with the panic and unsettled side of me that emerged when I was diagnosed. I went from someone who rarely gets sick or panics over illness to practically a hypochondriac…imagining every ache and pain is a sign of impending doom. I am not AS focused as I get further and further away from treatments but it is still in the back of my mind constantly. No matter how much I tell myself to enjoy this season and live life to it's fullest, I'm still stumbled by the "what ifs." Even though I know I serve a God who hold the future in His Hands and will never leave me or forsake me, the devil has found a foothold here and is making his home.
4)Dignity means being proud of who you are, and KNOWING who you are. It means standing tall for my love for the Lord, and for my family. It means being honest and generous, and striving to be Christ-like in all that I do in every facet of my life.
Chapter 7 brought up a lot of things, some of which I related to, and some I didn't. Talk about feeling insecure, I felt like I didn't have a good reason for being insecure, since nothing really horrible happened to me. Yes, I moved around a lot as a child, but I had sweet parents that loved me and took care of me. Yet, I still feel so insecure that I hardly feel like anything I do is any good sometimes. I teach elementary school, and others tell me what a good job I am doing, but I see where I am lacking. I look back at the times when my kids were younger, and see the places where I messed up and should have parented them differently. Probably my biggest area of insecurity though, I haven't seen addressed here. That is in my spiritual life. It seems like I am assaulted at times with thoughts that range from "you're not saved" to "you don't really believe that." "Who are you to be talking to God?" The only thing that helps is Scripture. It seems to get better, then it starts up at me again. I have noticed when something is going on that I am a major part of, like planning our Ladies' Retreat, the thoughts and cynical thoughts get so much worse. Satan does all he can to keep us down. And THAT is my bigget reason for dealing with insecurity right now, is that I think God has more for me to do, and He is waiting for me to turn all these thoughts and feelings to Him so He can deal with it. We are just starting Breaking Free at church. I am hoping for some serious progress through these next few months.
Tammy
South Texas, Tx
50's, single
I'm just now finishing Ch 8, a little behind the group. Was having a hard time believing that this will be more than an enlightening read for me, but I decided to watch your video tonight, and am SO glad I did. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Kristin
The Video was a great encouragement!!! Thanks for spurring us on!!!
1) what part of Chap 7 hit home: Female friendships.
and that there are so many wonderful women who are struggling with the same things.
2) Why it's time to deal w my insecurity:
a) time that has been stolen from my relationship with Jesus.
b) the effect it has taken on my relationships, friends, family and those i work with.
c) to pass along the Godly heritage to the youth girls i work with (middle school). and for them to see security in watching their leader, knowing that real security is w/ Jesus.
3) what has been a trigger: WELL…..
living in a small town, the amount of gossip is astonishing – even from the men… the whole one uping your tale… its really tiring… and my most recent responses are walking away 🙂
4: Dignity means to me : getting my self-worth from Christ ALONE. And not succumb to the cultures view b/c i am Single. I do have worth and it is found in Christ. (.This was HARD for me… for i have tried to get it from friendships, parents, church groups, career goals. and what relationships i have had. This is something i want to make) more than words on a screen, but a reality in life.
Holly
36
Williamston, SC
Single – NM
Michele
Liverpool, NY
40s
single
1. The part of 7 that hit home was the paragraph I wrote. A lot going on I won’t bother with here, but suffice it to say it is a privilege and honor to be included in your book.
2. Reasons – idk, I haven’t been looking for it, I’ve been wallowing in the pit of depression with little motivation to get up. God enticed me to address it with a big carrot (or should I say chicken nugget? haha) – getting a hug and pic with MamaBeth @SSMTC.
3. A recurrent trigger is with a friend whom I love dearly. In my mid-30s, she took me in and nurtured/mentored me, introducing me to God and his love. A lot has happened since then, but even now if she seems off or distant, I get powerful fears of abandonment or rejection.
You have to laugh at this one, though. When reading ch 7, absolutely thrilled to see words that I wrote in Beth’s’ book, I got very insecure because you said you were going to insert a couple guy’s insecurities, yet there was only one and then my issue. So I got all afraid that maybe you thought I was a guy, etc. uga.
4. I like the definition of dignity as worthy of respect. I have vague memories of thinking as a very young child that I was special. That got pounded out of me by abuse, I became convinced that those thoughts were lies, and lived that way for over 30 years. God has done a lot in me over the last 7 years, and I am just getting to the point where I am starting to think about respecting myself. Not always, because sometimes when I’m depressed I desire to go back to alcohol & drugs to numb the pain.
But especially with appearance – I don’t know anything about outfits and shoes, etc. I never had anyone to teach me and never felt worthy or respectable. So now, I’m thinking that someday when I get a new job, maybe I’ll try shopping for something better than sweatshirts.
1) The part of Chapter 7 that hit home with me the most is that there are many insecurities I either didn't take time to think about-or that I didn't recognize as even BEING (or stemming FROM) an insecurity. I am thankful to God that he has shown me these though, because now with His help I can address these insecurities and move on to a better life!
Just one example, before I met my husband, I lived in a terribly, terribly sinful living situation/relationship with a man who was 20 years my senior. I often times ask my husband now (different man) "who are you talking to?" or "Are you talking to someone you shouldn't be?" or "why were you late? Who were you with" and I do this because if someone was to have asked me those questions while I was in that relationship I would lie and say "No" or "Nothing" when in actuality I WAS the one going behind his back-Because I knew he would never be able to provide me with what I needed or wanted-I was looking elsewhere. By the Grace of God he chose to make me one of His faithful servants and delivered me from that relationship and that sin I was committing. But now, I have lasting affects of that time in my life that I didn't realize was an insecurity.
2) Top 3 reasons it's time to deal with my insecurities
A) I'm tired of my insecurities robbing me of the JOY He promised me and of my insecurities consuming my thoughts.
B) I'm sick and TIRED of my insecurities making me LOOK LIKE A FOOL!
C) God willing, when I have kids-I don't want them to see all these insecurities I have and then end up dealing with the same things themselves.
3) A recent trigger to my insecurities: Today-when parents of the youth I work with were criticizing and upset about one of our projects and I immediately became defensive. Even though there WAS a misunderstanding on my part that I admitted to being my fault, it did NOT get the best of me!
4) Dignity to me means being worthy of others respect.
Sorry I forgot to put my info
Krissy
Arab, Alabama
20's
Married
1. I really feel as though I can see myself in all the stories but one really stood out…. “Jealousy of our friends and the fear that they’ll like each other better than they like us” unfortunately that doesn’t stop with friends I feel that way with all of my relationships family included. I have this crazy desire to be liked best by all….sad to admit!!
My top 3 reasons why it’s time to deal with my insecurity:
A. I’ve been in bondage to the monster of insecurity in one way or another for as long as I can recall.
B. I want to be free to be who GOD made me and see myself through HIS eyes.
C. For those around me (my husband, family and friends)
Will post 3 & 4 soon!
Erin
Glendale, CALIFORNIA
32
Happily Married
My name is Terry Taylor, I am married and live in Salisbury, NC.
This week's chapter was incredible. God met me and revealed to me the most liberating truth. My insecurities have been a cause for many of the problems in my marriage and when I read the part in which I asked the Lord to empower me to forgive those who have let me down, to see them as needy, broken people in their own right , it hit me, that I have been feeding into my husband's insecurities as well as my own and that I needed to see him through the Lord's eyes and find the forgiveness in my heart to love him. I acknowleged that I could not fix him nor could he fix me but that only through the Lord's power can we achieve this goal. For the first time in months we shared intimacy; talked, and laughed. I am not saying that all is perfect but I finally acknowledge that there is hope. Praise God, and thank you Beth for being such an incredible vessel for the Lord's work!!
Chris
Tucson
56yr
Insecurity causes us to accept things as normal that aren't – whoa that was good! What is normal anyhow.
I went into an insecurity fit – when the kids left our house after a visit with the grandkids and didn't wait to say goodbye – I was upstairs going to the bathroom and they didn't know when I was gonna come down – and they left – I was not a happy camper that they left like that – and I called both of them and told them I was not happy – whoa – it was not nice.
Dignity – worthy of respect – God Himself has dignity and so do we – cause we are made in His image – God didn't put honor/dignity IN our hands, but ON our heads – He wrapped it around our minds – just where I need it the most! Thanks for that!
Playing catch up here – don't mind me!!
1) The part that most hit home with me was one section about stepmoms. That page got a huge penciled asterisk and a folded down corner on it. I am a stepmom and my husband's ex-wife seems to live every waking moment to make me utterly miserable. We are having to deal with taking her back to court right now and I truly thought God had healed things in our relationship long ago, but things have opened back up worse than they ever were. This conflict wears on me because I can't stand things not being 'okay.' I grew up in an abusive family and peace to me is total peace on all fronts or I make myself miserable. Any drama of any kind is all consuming to me. Anyway, it was so refreshing to read someone who wasn't a stepmom actually acknowledging the extreme insecurities that we have to naturally deal with because of the dynamics of our relationships with our spouses, stepchildren (and their mothers!). It was so nice to read what my sister in the Lord wrote and realize that I'm not the only stepmom struggling and that there is hope.
2) It's time to deal w/ my insecurity because:
1 – I'm fixing to be 35 and I want the next 35 years to be secure. I've wasted enough time being miserable.
2 – I have 2 daughters that are still young that I want to be secure; I need to get my act together for their sakes.
3 – I'm tired of second guessing myself every 5 seconds.
3. A recent trigger of insecurity was about the above mentioned legal matter. A continuance was asked for on the other side and I was so worried and insecure – my husband is deploying this Sunday and it seemed at the time as though if the continuance was granted that the world would end. Well, the continuance was granted on Monday – and guess what? The world didn't end. Big whoop. Things will be okay and God will work out my hubby being able to be there for court either in person or thank golly gosh electronically just like Mrs. Beth did this video!! Yes, this trigger got a big time rise out of me at the time. I read scripture, I prayed, I worried my face off. And I learned a big lesson about trust. A lesson I needed to relearn all over again.
4. Dignity to me means being as much as possible the creature that God intended me to be. Yes, there was a fall w/ Adam and Eve. Yes, I fall. But I don't have to keep falling for the same old stupid tricks every stinkin' time! Dignity means recognizing your worth in Christ so that you stop the cycle of insecure stupidity and untie Satan's noose from around your neck.
I forgot my info – sorry!
Melinda
34 years old
Married
Jackson, MS
Amber
DFW
30's/Married
Okay, just catching up on the discussion b/c I had a trigger incident two weeks ago and devoured the rest of the book to get some wisdom and healing. Thank you, thank you, thank you for loving us enough to address this stronghold, Beth.
1. The story of being over communicating out of insecurity in friendships with women.
2.
a. I desire to be whole.
b. I desire to be the women God has uniquely created me to be and accomplish the work He's given me to do without a nagging need for approval.
c. In my own family, I've seen that insecurity doesn't disappear with age and maturity. I desire to break the cycle.
3. My recent trigger happened within the community group my husband and I are leading at church. One of the women in the group has a strong personality and has lashed out and been very aggressive toward my husband and I since she found out we were asked to lead our group. During a meeting with just the women the question of service came up. Everyone went around saying where they serve or want to at church, when my turn came I said we serve in our group. She said, oh…is that considered serving? I deflated. She seemed to react to this and over the course of the meeting took several other back handed jabs at my husband and me. I felt so hurt and angry at the attacks on my husband I could hardly keep it together as I walked to the car. I was sobbing by the time I got home. My husband was furious as this is not the first time she's lashed out…just the first time I've let her get to me that much. He suggested we take a week to cool down, pray and process. I prayed for healing for myself and compassion for her (hurt people, hurt people), but still felt black and blue. I knew my reaction was so strong due in part to insecurity. So I tore through the rest of the book…prayed the prayer, cried, read some more, rinse and repeat. I see now that I've given her access to my dignity. She can hurt me, but she cannot take my dignity. I feel better equipped and hopeful that God is changing me.
3. God given gift to be worth of respect. Man cannot take it away.
Jariza
33
Alburtis, Pa
Married
My top three reasons:
1. I am sick and tired of the way I respond in my heart to situations with my relationships.
2. God wants me to live in freedom.
3. It has hurt me long enough.
Jariza
33
Married
Alburtis, Pa
Dignity to me means being able to carry yourself with your head held high because you know you belong to God without pride.
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
Insecurity can make you act like an idiot! I've done this all too many times. From crying to overcompensating to isolating myself hoping for someone to come drag me out of isolation . . .
2. Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity.
a) I've missed too many moments of life because I was held back or holed up in my head drowning in insecurity
b) I'm tired of so much focus on myself. Insecurity makes you the most important person in the room – the one you have to protect, the one you have to monitor, the one who has to look the best, etc.
c) It affects every relationship and every action in my life
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
I'm planning on going to a trip to Washington DC for the cherry blossom festival with my girlfriends. I was informed that some other girls may be coming who are friends of my 1 friend. I immediately want to cancel the trip because I know that they are more sophisticated, have more money, dress more stylishly, are more outgoing, and are more attractive than I am. I'll still go on the trip but it will be difficult to not withdraw into myself the whole time because I feel so insecure.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
Having the ability to walk with my head held high, not because of what I look like or what I'm wearing, but because I have owned the fact that I have been crowned with dignity. It is not having to be the most important person in the room, yet sensing a deep contentment with who I am, regardless of who I'm around.
Meredith
Anderson, SC
20's
Married
Donielle Palomo
married
Mt Holly Springs, PA
32
2.
A. I don't want to negatively impact my kids because of my issues with insecurity. It's time to stop messing around and receive healing. So my children will have a healthy, happy, secure mama.
B. So I can be a better wife to my husband. Not put so much pressure on him to be everything for me.
C. Enough is enough. I'm tired of allowing my insecurity to keep me trapped. I want to be free to be the woman God wants me to be.
3. Just yesterday, the cable man came to the house to set up our new system. Well, I kind of forgot he was coming and the house was a mess, the kids were going crazy, and I had barely gotten a shower much less had make-up on or anything. I had feelings of insecurity rise up in me. But instead of letting what was going on in my home humiliate me. I just thought, well this situation isn't ideal. But it is what it is. No amount of insecurity can take my messy house and naked face away….just get over it!
4. Dignity means that I am worthy of respect, wether I feel that way or not. God has clothed me with that dignity, who am I to walk around clothed in shame when he has already dressed me in his perfect clothes?!
My answer to question 2:
A – I want to be all that God created me to be. I'm tired of self-imposed limitations. I want to walk in the truth that I am uniquely & wonderfully made, and God is enthralled with me.
B- I want to stop passing on insecurity to my children and grandchildren. I want them to see God, fully secure, in me.
C – I want to encourage others who also are in bondage to insecurity.
Answer to Question 3
Recently my adult daughter had a trip from MS to TX planned for the weekend. But it snowed. She continued to make her plans, assuming the weather would clear, and increasingly tried to talk her out of going. I envisioned her stranded, freezing, on the interstate. Or worse yet, I could see her having an accident. I was fearful and anxious that I would lose her to tragedy in the same way that my mother and my sister died.
Deidra
Waynesboro
60s
single