So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.
You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:
THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
Tse Family 
Can I just say I am so thankful that our Lord led you to write this book?!!!
1. The part that hit home the most in Chapter 7 was, insecurity can be a relentless robber. The part about it makes us settle, makes us distracted, robs our confidence in our rich inheritance from God. Well I could just write that whole thing out because it is so true! Insecurity derails our life…wow my has derailed so often I can imagine what it would really be like on the tracks.
2. Top 3 reasons it is time to deal with this!
A. For myself…living in this pit stinks. It is like I have been prematurely wrapped in grave clothes. Sitting here decaying when there is so much life around me.
B. For my family. Living in a house of boys and being insecure does not give them a wonderful picture of what a wife and mom should look like in Christ.
C. For those I minister to. How can I effectively minister to women who struggle with insecurity if I have not found or am making steps to saying "so long to that friend called insecurity?"
3. Recent trigger.
The other day my husband came home and gave me an update on a friend of his. This friend had made some bad choices and stole a large amount of money and ended up going to prison. The day after his release this man married a wealthy bombshell. My husband shared all about her wealth and then described her vast beauty. Then he said the trigger…."I can't figure out where I went wrong" With my insecurity dealing with being rejected, I said "thank honey" and left the room for the biggest downward spiral.
Cynthia
Arkansas
40's
To Patti From Ohio: I know she isn't going to read this anymore, but I just read her post and have to comment. I have often had the same thoughts. I've been blogging for almost 5 years and since I've started, I often times have thought about how unhealthy it can be for me if I let it. I also would compare my parenting and spiritualilty with those in the blogs I read. I completely understand where Patti is coming from and I so admire her for being able to just cut it out of her life. I love writing and I don't want to let go of the blog as a place I can write so I'm praying that I can find a healthy way to continue to blog and read the blogs of others. I don't want to constantly check to see if someone has read my latest post or left a comment. I don't want to second guess what I've written and wonder if it is too preachy or too "Jesus freak" for my family.
Wow, I think I just realized a new trigger for my insecurity…
Just wanted to say that I will pray for Patti and her journey.
I wanted to share these words of encouragement that God shared with me:
You however continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them.
2Timothy 3:14
New American Standard
to God'sGirlzROCk!
GET IT GIRL! I'm so proud! My heart is just soaring after reading your post – HOW HE LOVES US!!!
You definitely pumped up my spirit this morning.
Praise the Lord for His infinite mercy, His unending love, and the beautiful ones he uses in our lives.
WOW!
1) I related to the story “Insecurity can make us give and entirely wrong impression”(P.130). I don’t interact as well in larger groups especially around people I don’t know. I tend to “listen” more and I feel like some people take that as being a snob or that I think I am better than them, when this is not the case. I don’t want to be that person, so this is something I am definitely going to have to bring to God.
2A) It’s time for me to start relying on God and not my perfectionism because Lord knows that hasn’t cut it yet!!
2B) I’m ready to become independent of the insecurities that weight me down, ESPECIALLY when I don’t even know I have them!! It’s amazing how the devil tries to justify things so you think everything is ok. (i.e. Adam and Eve!!!)
2C) I’m tired of obsessing and letting the devil win the war in my head. I do not want to be an over analyzer. I want to be able to share how God has blessed my life and not be nervous or worried about how people will take it.
3) Two weekends ago, I attended a wedding with my boyfriend. It was for a high school friend of his and I only knew a few people there. On top of that my boyfriends Ex came!! No one knew she was coming and I didn’t have any time to prepare for that and it really caught me off guard. But I want to thank God that He didn’t let the enemy take advantage of that. When I would normally worry and overanalyze the situation, God helped me overcome it. I kept thinking of my memory verse (I picked it two weeks before) “set your mind on things above, not things of the earth” Col 3:2. It’s not about being secure all in one day, it’s about the little victories that make you stronger. And we can do anything through Christ who strengthens us!!
4) Dignity means to be worthy of respect. To be able to handle situations with grace and courage.
Thank you Beth so much for putting yourself out there as encouragement to us! This journey isn't easy but it helps that we have a Siesta Mama who cares for us!! Love ya!!!
Heather F/Beaumont, TX/29/Single
I had a dream last night that I was at a drive through getting ready to order and I wanted a sandwich with some alterations and debated whether or not I could/should order it my way. Then Beth walked up to the menu I was looking at and said, "this is insecurity, order it the way you want it"! LOL
1. What hit me was the recognition with and ability to relate with many of the stories. “Insecurity that is not dealt with is disastrous." My insecurity gives an entirely wrong impression!
2. My three reasons:
A. I need to stop affirming how inferior I am and bask in the fact the “God delights in me”.
B. Because I am tired of insecure thinking that I have to be___ (fill in blank with dozens of things) to be accepted, included, not different, admired, or____,(secure!).
C. I am sick to death of what it’s robbing me of. I want to quit acting like I believe myself to be and know and live like I am who God says I am!!
3. A co-worker pointed out my oversight which resulted in an omission on what I had finished. Praise God it did not get a rise out of me. I was able to treat it as it was, a mistake, pointed it out to my boss as my mistake and it was no big deal, easily handled.
Nise', 49
Married in Michigan
I just started this whole process so am playing major catch up..LOL. Although I am proud to say I had one of those insecurity moments yesterday and didn't throw my usual insecurity fueled tantrum…Yay me, well Yay God but you know what I mean..LOL. :o)I am going to work this week to get caught up so I can be on the same page as everyone else…makes for easier reading of the post. :o)
1. A few section hit home for me – Insecurity can turn a gifted person into the competition, Insecurity weighs heavily on weight issues, Insecurity can veil our vision and blind us to how blessed we are, and Insecurity causes us to accept things as normal that are not.
2A. To be all that I am meant to be in Christ! To stop being scared that other people might not like what they see or hear from me.
2B. I need to be freed of my insecurity so that I will finally love myself enough to stop being such a perfectionist with many things. It gets tiring for me and for my husband and family.
2C. To enjoy life!!! To be proud of who I am and to be a better light for Christ in this dark world.
3. I am currently on vacation and the book has made it all the way to Grand Cayman Island with me. I found it very ironic yesterday reading "So Long Insecurity" while laying on the beach in my swimsuit, wondering if anyone was looking at me. I almost did not turn over on my stomach for fear that everyone around me would stare at my bottom and thighs and think they were huge. I used to be so afraid of swimsuits that I would not even go to the beach or pool. I am slowly, but surely getting there, but I have a long way to go.
4. Dignity means knowing who I am in Christ and respecting and loving myself for that. It means reminding myself that I am worth so much and have tremendous power in Christ to defeat Satan's lies that I tell myself. It also means that I will be free to share God with others and not allow insecurity to drive my actions. Thanks for the encouragement in Chapter 8!
Mary Helen
Dallas, TX
20's
Married
Chapter 7 was not long enough for me! Are you kidding — there are really others who have done the same things I have? I was so relieved to know I am not the only one. Knowing others go through (and react) the same as I have helps to relieve the isolation I have felt for too long!
Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities: 1) to consciously stop reacting to my feelings and KNOW what God's word tells me; 2) I am sick and tired of waking up in the middle of the night and being short of breath because of the fear of financial insecurity; 3) so my family can be relieved of my insecurities!!
Dignity — to know and feel that I am the daughter of The King.
Cathy, 40s, married
Houston
Hi Spiritual Mom Beth!:)
In ch.7 what hit home the most was mostly at the end-I'm not nearly as fragile as I think I am, and the last story about the girl and her dad; also, secure people live in the light, transparency p.113, 125..A)Insec has been the root of most if not all of my shameful, sinful choices,B)Insec has robbed me of many a potential godly friend/acctablty partner,C)Insec has prevented me from living the full, abundant life-I don't want to miss that! and I don't want to sin against Him any longer. I want to walk worthy of the calling I have received..having my baby girl was the trigger for all my insecurities most recently-Now that we are parents, does my husband still look at me the same way? Even when I'm tired and not feeling like myself? I'm not a size 2 right now. My fam wants to help but their advice goes against my husbands opinion, and I cant please evryone..dignity-a sense of knowing who you are in Christ and living that out in everyday life, just like being clothed with Christ. Being Spirit-filled is prob part of it, bc then you produce all the fruit, and that seems like abundant living to me…I'm glad God completes what He starts:) He's using this in my life right now. Praise Him!:)
Blessings, ((HUGS)), Love in HIM,
katiegfromtennessee
katie
20's
married
Knoxville, TN
1.Pg 122 – I was violated at a young age and found myself soliciting it again and again from the same person and others. until now, I never owned the insecurity that drove the behavior. I was too busy being the victim.
2.a.I am coming out of a major depression and I believe much of it has been driven by my insecurity about my relationship to my husband and family.
b. I want to be free to be me.
c. I want to be a living testimony of freedom to encourage others.
3.My son thanked me for dinner (something he doesn't do often)I knew that it was a dinner that probably wasn't his favorite. I didn't hear what he said AND misunderstood. I immediately became defensive and scolded him. He was understandably hurt. Of course I apologized. The good part, I immediately recognized it as my insecurity that drove the defensiveness.
4. Dignity – Noble, Respect. I looked it up in the dictionary/thesaurus because I needed a word that would capture the picture in my head. For me the word is associated with royalty-nobility, high position in society. Since I am a daughter of the king, I am a respected dignitary by position.
Marcia/50's married/portland,OR
Dignity – something I want so bad and feel unworthy to obtain. I still hear daily "if they only really knew you." My mom was so bitter about the rebellious child she adopted (me) that she literally cut me out of her will and left my brother everything. She even left my children's trust fund for my brother to manage. She instructed and he obeys to never even disclose to me how much or any details of the accounts. It's caused so much hurt as this was all set up by my dad who was so proud of what he arranged – all to have my mom CHANGE it after he died to show me once and for all how mad she was. I have related to everything in this book so much that I could SCREAM! The "I'm sorry" stuff. That is me. That's all I do is say I'm sorry. When my mom was alive I would tell her this so much it made her skin crawl and she would let me know. At my daughter's 3rd birthday party, my mom was so upset with me again. I kept saying I'm sorry and she looked like she was going to puke. My best friend grabbed me and said "Don't you dare say you are sorry another time." I did this so often and I was so messed up insecurity that my kids have seen nothing but. I get to a point of coming so close to freedom but then a major anxiety attack come from normal stress. Or I will see in my children how they can't handle stress because they always walked on egg shells. All because of my own deep insecurity. I balled over the prayer in the book because I want this so much – FREEDOM. I don't want a new car or better body. I want to be FREE. I want to be clothed in such dignity that I would never stoop so low as to say and do the things that are NOT of dignity. I do feel shame and guilt but this isn't because of the book at all. The book is a healing balm.
My top reasons for dealing with my insecurities are:
A. They simply do not allow me to be the wife and mother to my two little boys that God wants me to be and that hurts.
B. They keep me feeling filthy and I want to FEEL completely clean in Christ.
C. I want my husband to experience having a wife with no baggage. My insecurities have put alot of distance between us at times. He deserves a part of me that I don't know how to give him because I haven't quite found it in myself, but I know it SHOULD be there. I keep praying for guidance.
4. Dignity to me is believing wholeheartedly and feeling the forgiveness, cleansing and love Jesus poured out on me and living in it with my head held up in thankfulness and praise! AMEN!
" For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a
good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus"
Philippians 1:6
Hello Beth!
1) The story in Chapter 7 that I most related to was "Insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't even want to do," and accepting the abnormal as normal. Been there, done that, have a whole wardrobe of the t-shirts…
2) My top three reasons for getting rid of insecurity:
A. Insecurity is not what God wants or plans for me…
B. I have a beautiful 13-yr old daughter and I don't want to pass this on to her…
C. I'm tired of dealing with the anger, hurt, and waster energy that it fosters…
4. I loved how Kim (March 4, 2010 1:23 PM) defined dignity! She said:
"Dignity to me is seeing myself through God's lens and not the worlds. It is believing I am who HE says I am so thoroughly and completely that my confidence is unshakeable." I agree with that definition and am adopting it as my definition too.
Forgot to give my info!
Adrienne
40's
Married
Jasper, TN
Beth, I already posted answers, but I have wanted for a while to thank you for our Thursday questions, for studying the book in this way. I discovered your blog last December and have read through all your archived posts (not the comments, just the posts)and was feeling left out because I missed the scripture memory. When you proposed working through the book together in the blog, I wanted to jump right in and be a part of something, so I got the book and joined. I have always openly said I have low self-esteem, but no one believed me because it doesn't "show", but I did not get the book so I could "cure" my problem. I have learned to be comfortable with my insecurities, I just wanted ANY Beth Moore book, and to be a part of the blog study. As I eagerly read my chapters each week (I am one of the ones who did not read ahead because I didn't want to know "how the story ends" and have it affect my weekly answers)and read the comments, I have been surprised to realize that maybe, just maybe, I might be saying "so long, insecurity" when this is over, and I am 100% sure that the blog is the reason. If I had just checked the book out of the church library to read on my own (which I probably would have been too insecure to do), I do not think I would have given the same kind of thought to the content that I have had to do to participate in the blog, and it probably would not have had a very big impact on me. As it is, when I bought the book or when people see me with it, I just bubble on about it being the newest Beth Moore book and that there is a study of it online!!!(I don't say "not that I need it" but I am sure I imply this-tee hee). I used my name in earlier answers, but have resorted to being anonymous as we go deeper into wounds to protect friends and family, and because I am still too proud to admit my shortcomings. I really have to hand it to you gals who are sharing your answers in small groups and with friends – I am positive I would hold back and not say my true feelings in those situations.
Beth, I have said all this to draw this conclusion – future readers of the book might appreciate a foreword that steers them to the blog archives or to an archived folder with just the questions and comments relating to this study. I cannot imagine it having the same impact without the questions to ponder and the comments to draw from.
Sorry this was so long, but I have wanted to tell you for a while what a GREAT idea this "simul-study" was. I hope a simulcast will be close enough for me to go to, because I will be feeling left out if I miss it.
Love you Beth, and praising God for the ministry He chose you for.
50's
Texas
married
Newbie
Becky
30s
Central PA
So, I am probably the last to know about this blog and book…but I am excited to have found it!
I lead a woman's Bible study group at our church, and almost didn't because of my insecurities. So many reasons why I shouldn't…but felt the desire to obey and so I do. We are in the middle of your "Breaking Free" study and loving it! I was so ready for something to help deal with my insecurities…seems like they have been there my whole life and I'm insecure about even that because I have had such a blessed life and upbringing..yet they are there and I let them affect too much! So, I'm a little late, and just got started reading and catching up, but I am thrilled to see what God has in store. I hope I can get past things that hinder me from being open and relatable so that I can reach out to other women and their insecurities.
Thank you for all you do and for following God's leading. You have no idea how much I have learned and how much closer to God I have drawn because of His work in your Bible studies. Just wanted to say "thanks!"
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive (yourself). Do what it says. Stop doubting and believe."
James 1:22; John 20:27
I am doing the Breaking Free study along with reading So Long Insecurity. Talk about God wanting to get a word through to me! The above is a verse statement I wrote out for myself after video session #3. It speaks to me about what I need to do as my part to move forward with God into complete deliverance from bondage and insecurity. I am no longer willing to settle for temporary relief from "less than" living and self destructive traps. I want ALL that God has for me and to be the me-est me I was created to be! I desire my days to be filled with Jesus! I hope it is encouraging to others to keep pushing onward towards abundant, secure living in Christ. Thanks Beth for guiding us on this journey to freedom!
Carol
40's, married, Iowa
I left no comment last week since I didn't feel the need.
As I am going through this book, especially reading chapter 7, I am struck by how, in this season of my life, insecurity doesn't seem to be pressing issue in my life.
Oh, I've dealt with it in my past, believe me. I can recall situations that still resound in my memory of being snubbed, ridiculed, passed over, etc.
But now, through the grace of God, I am not dealing with this particular trial in life.
1. Insecurity can turn a gifted person into the competition.
2 and 3 See above. 🙂
4. To me dignity is the way one presents herself.
It includes how a woman treats others as well as how she views herself. If one has dignity, she will not be self-centered, ie self-absorbed, but will be able to look at others and see their needs and recognize how she can be of help/service to them.
I have a good friend who is the picture of a woman of dignity. She constantly thinks of others and their needs, all the while she is undergoing treatment for cancer.
I want to emulate her love for others and see others through Christ's eyes.
You know, reading this book has been wreaking havoc in my life. In a good way. I'm also doing The Inheritance study with some good gal pals at church, so the two together are just doing all sorts of things to my heart. But to answer my top three reasons why I need to deal with my insecurity:
a. My present fears and past problems and insecurities are overwhelmingly altering how I see my future. For instance, I have an upcoming trip to Africa and I'm terrified that God will pull the rug out from underneath me – my past experiences are projecting old fears onto new experiences. Not cool.
b. I need to deal with the fact that somewhere along the way I became convinced in my heart of hearts that God really is a taker. That lie has definitely go to go.
c. I'm tired of living my life waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I can't keep living as though God is always out to get me.
3. I'm in my mid-twenties and single, and I'm in that phase of life where I have many close friends getting married. While I love being single, it doesn't change the fact that there are fleeting moments when the waves of insecurity hit and the ever-faithful lie of "you'll never be good enough" smacks you. A friend was recently talking about her upcoming wedding and one of those moments came, and I thought to myself, "No, I'm not giving into this insecurity. Not this time."
I also want to throw out there a letter I keep tucked in my Bible. I'm not sure of it's origination, but I often return to it and it fits perfectly with this study:
"A Lost Letter"
The Screwtape Letters, by C. S. Lewis, is a fictitious diary of scolding letters from a mature demon (Screwtape) to his young nephew (Wormwood). It is Wormwood's job to keep a recent convert to Christianity from being productive for Christ (the Enemy). Screwtape's letters point out where Wormwood has failed or missed an opportunity. I have often mused that there must be a missing appedix to these letters somewhere that reads like this…
My dear Wormwood,
The following instructions shall help you proceed in handicapping your convert's effectiveness in the Enemy's kingdom. One of our great allies at present is her perception of herself. It is your task, therefore, to feed her poor self-esteem. Already she wastes time primping in front of the mirror and worrying about her looks.
You must continue to encourage her to compare herself with so-called "spiritual giants" whom she admires. The will eventually immobilize her. When she feels inadequate she will no longer attempt anything for the Enemy's kingdom because of her fear of failure. Her warped self-image will lead to unhealthy relationships and hinder her ability to love others. The more often she tells herself that she is a bad person – that she's not competent – the more easily she will feel threatened by others. This will turn others off to the Enemy and his loathsome Christianity.
Ultimately, her relationship with the Enemy himself will be adversely affected. Since she is not satisfied with how the Enemy has created her, her intimacy with him will be destroyed and she will find it difficult to trust the Enemy, pray to him or read that detestable Book.
Finally, emphasize her weaknesses so repeatedly that she begins to believe that she is unimportant to the Enemy. This will push her to compulsive striving to please him through her own accomplishments. Her works will no longer be motivated by faith, but by a dislike for herself. Confuse her so that she never feels forgiven. If you successfully convince her that the Enemy is never pleased with her, she will grow weary and give up altogether. But, more of this in my next letter.
Your affectionate uncle,
Screwtape
From last week:
Rejection (from the Lord) As a 7 year old I asked Jesus into my heart because I had heard all the stories of how he took our dirty black heart and washed it white as snow. I heard dramatic conversion stories and I knew I needed a new heart.
But no one told that 7 year old that becoming a Christian was process as well as crisis. So when I still acted and felt the same way the next day ; and didn’t instantly become sweet and loving like Tammy the other Christian girl in my class, I assumed God had rejected me.
To my child-like mind I wasn’t ‘bad-enough’ yet for Him to save me. Needless to say I set out to achieve that goal. All through my teen years I’d sink deeper in sin, come to Him seeking ‘salvation’ but when nothing changed, and assume I wasn’t worth ‘fixing’ yet.
I can remember crying myself to sleep in 3rd and 4th grade because of my sinful behavior in school.
Yes, God continued to lovingly draw me to Himself and to the truth but I have struggled with that seed of perceived rejection in many forms over the years.
Doing this study has been an exercise in revisiting my insecurities and having God ask, “Has My love and grace touched this pain also? Is it healed/healing?”
This week I revisited this with my insecurity regarding ‘do I really believe His Spirit is alive and active in me, or do I believe that childhood picture of withholding?”
Last night I was at the Uof M waiting for my son. For an hour I sat near a guy tell a table of students how to push through legislation for legalizing medical marijuana. I got up to leave because I was so upset by it. But, my conscience wouldn’t let me. I prayed for His Spirit to give me boldness and I went in to confront them as the mother of three adopted children whose mother lost them because of substance abuse. There is a generation of children who have no choice in the life they live because of the poor choices of adults. It was terrifying! 14 years ago my brain “crashed” and I lost some of my language skills. My vocabulary disappears under stress or fatigue. I am always intellectually intimidated at the University. I praise the Lord for this study. I know God has brought healing over the past years but the direct focus of this past week caused me to choose to step out of the past and confront myself as well as them with the truth. His Spirit is alive and active in me! He is the God who is healing me!
I think that what hit home the most in Chapter 7 is "Insecurity can veil our vision and blind us to how blessed we are". This is so true in life. I was so focused on comparing myself and my life to others that I lost sight of how wonderful my life truly is.
Top 3 reasons it's time to deal with my insecurities:
A. I will turn 50 this year and it is just time to
finally deal with them.
B. My insecurities have taken up so much time and
energy and I'm tired of wasting time on them.
C. The best reason to deal with them is because I
want to be what God intended for me to be,
secure in Him and having abundant life.
A recent trigger was when I was with a godly woman. I just didn't feel like I measured up, I wasn't a good enough Christian, etc. I just began to feel inferior.
Dignity means knowing your self worth comes from knowing that God loves us and not trying to find our worth from others or comparing ourselves to others.
Cindy
40's
Blairsville, GA
Hello TICKLEDPINK4U on March 4, 2010 7:28 AM
I have a BS in early childhood education and work with adults every day! (mostly males in the information technology (IT) world.) I can tell you from experience that most people NEVER make it past kindergarten. I jokingly say that I still work with children, they're just bigger and older. With this in mind, you fit into the conversation of those that work outside the home much more than you think you do!!! Human nature IS human nature….they really don't grow up so actions of kids "bleed" into adulthood. Trust me on this one…hard to believe I know, but so true!!
2. My top 3 reasons for dealing w/my insecurity:
A. Insecurity makes me a prisoner to my past.
B. Insecurity is robbing me of my present. I am unable to do anything. Sometimes I feel literally paralyzed.
C. Insecurity will invade my future unless I root it out now. I'm tired of living this way. I want deliverance.
4. Also based on Ch. 8, what does dignity mean to me?
Dignity means I can let go of my pride.
Dear Rebecca age 34 asking for prayer..
Galatians 3:26-29 states that we are all one in Christ. We are clothed in Christ. I am also 34 and if I were giving Jesus relationship advice, I would have told Him to dump me long ago because I have been a flake so many times. He hasn't..WON'T..He loves me and He loves you so much!! I have written your name down and it is tucked in my bible ! You can be sure that a sister in Christ will hold you up in prayer every day!! I don't know if you will see this post..If you do, be encouraged, sister. If not, God and all these other ladies who love you did!
Sissy
40's
Married
Nederland, Tx
Beth, I am so far behind because my days and evenings are filled right now as we prepare for our Passion Play, but I wanted to tell you that I appreciate the devotion you have for the Lord and how He has used you not only in my life but in many of my fellow sisters at our home church. I bought this book not only for my self but for my daughter and best friend, I did not realize that my daughter was insecure at all, but when I ask her why she wanted the book she said "I really need it" and my response was, "you are insecure? My daughter is 30 yrs. old and I always thought she was Super secure. She told me she was insecure about everything and it broke my heart, but Praise God she and a friend took your book and each week they get together and discuss the chapters they read.
I realize insecurities begin at an earlier age than I thought, my grand daughter is 9 in 3rd grade and a couple of kids told her she is fat (which she isn't,)I can see the insecurity that is beginning to start with her, but thanks to your book and her mother reading it she has been able to help her.
and this is precious: Her bestest friend at school told her "IF JESUS LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE, THEN YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF" and she told her mom that she knows Jesus loves her the way she is, but it still hurts.
I hope you forgive me for writing too much, I just want you to know that a difference is being made here in Nederland with a few of us who have this book, so I thank you.
1. I honestly can say, with the exception of a few entries, I empathized with them all. By the sweet age of 24, I had been married and divorced! He left me for another woman. YUK! Grew up with an abusive mother- so I've always struggled with my relationshps with women. So, I've struggled with insecurity in both genders, however, the entries concerning how we act like an idiot in front of female friendships struck the greatest chord. When I'm insecure, I talk excessively and divulge my inner most secrets right away- so stupid! I guess I do that because I long to fit in with women and I foolshily think that if I've told them something private, we're now good friends. No, actually I've just made myself extremely vulnerable- leaving me to feel pathetic and guess what? – MORE insecure. Good grief.
2.Why I am ready to deal with my insecurity:
A) self inflicted pain: although I cannot change that a large chunk of my insecurity is rooted in my childhood experiences. I am no longer that child nor am I in that helpless place that was beyond anything I had control over (Thank you Jesus.) Insecurtiy that I allow from this point on in my life is of my own doing. I will have to welcome it in- and when I do that- I am inflicting my own emotional pain onto myself! I might as well punch my own lights out! Seriously.
B)reclaim my own self worth/value: I'm tired of leaving a group of women and wondering, did they like me? Are they talking about me?…What are they saying, I wonder. I read scripture that tells me who I am. I am reminded when I read my Bible who has loved me the most. I read it, I even believe it, but I WANT TO FEEL IT! – I want to live it every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY!!
c)Claim my blessing & loose the evil one's hold: My Father is wanting to give me more and my insecurities are keeping me from knowing every part of Him I can know. The stranger's voice is feeding my insecurities and is keeping me from claiming all that my Father has planned for me and laid out for me. It is time! It's just time. I'm ready.
4. Dignity means to me: worth, worthy.
ooops.
Anna
age 30-ish
Tyler, Texas
married.
…from above comment.
Leiah
Albany, OR
30s, first post
I just have to say THANK YOU for that video!. Honestly, chapters 5 and 6 were starting to kick my behind!! I have 3 little people to rear and its hard enough to find time for my reading, but this last week I started to lose fuel to pick up the book. So thank you for the encouragement! I hope to get some time in this weekend as I'll be away on our women's retreat for church. A whole afternoon of free time on Sat!! I can't tell you how foreign those words are to me…"free time". 🙂 So this is my first post and I hope to post again soon. Thank you and bless you today. Thanks for thinking of me. 🙂 LOL
(sorry so long but if I don't share I will burst).
Dear Beth, sister in the Lord…as I write this I am overwhelmed by the hand of our mighty God. As I mentioned in a recent reply our ladies group is doing the Stepping Up Bible study. Again it is no accident I am reading So Long Insecurity. Today we did session one of that Bible study. Oh my word, I am overcome, overcome by being taken to the next step. Years ago, as a child, a "leader" in the church I was attending, told me and my twin,(we were 10) that we could not sing in front of the church because we could not carry a tune. That he wasn't having anyone mess up his worship service by not being able to sing. Today sitting in that Bible study I was overcome with a revelation that could have only come from God Himself. Insecurity has robbed me……of my singing. Oh I sing with my children or in church and what not. I have joy but singing….I don't sing loud or filled with the praise I feel in my heart because of insecurity. I don't sing out my praise songs to Him becaus insecurity had robbed me of my heart song. Today in a glorious rush, my song has been given back to me. I sit here with tears on my cheeks and a heart filled with joy because I know that my song is free now. As you talked in the study about singing and God spoke to my heart that insecurity is at the very base of why I don't sing…I was floored. As a child, before the words were spoken I used to go about my day singing. I sang all the time. That day I was robbed of that..but today praise the Lord our God, as you mentioned..Hosea 2:15 "She will sing as in the days of her youth"… My word I can only imagine if this is session one and I am on chapter 4 in the So Long Insecurity book…….what God has in store. Girlfriend, He is cleaning my clock, sweeping out the cobwebs of insecurity, shoring up the broken places and renewing things I didn't even know was broken. I wept in front of people, which I don't normally do…LOL (yet another left over insecurity from childhood). Oh in the words of a rather famous Uncle…God brought me both of these books……"For such a time as this". I am overwhelmed my sweet friend, I say friend even though we may not know each other personally, because only a true friend helps you to a higher place in God. So…I said all that (yeah I like to talk)…to say thank you for obeying the King of Kings because today yet another woman was freed from part of insecurity and to top it off…..I was given back my heart song. Now how I am going to blog on this…I have no idea…I am too overwhelmed..LOL. God bless you
Thelma Strobl
La Vergne, TN
age 42
married 10 years, with 3 children ages 9,6, and 3. Stay at home mom
Ann, mid-40's, Married, VA
1. What hit home most with me was realizing that so much of the foolish stuff I did in my younger life (including early marriage) was because of insecurity. Wow, it was more powerful in my life than I realized!
2. A. To live whole
B. To not pass on the mess
C. To live with no regrets
4. Dignity to me means living "upright" through circumstances that could cause me to cower — weathering the storms of life with my feet on the Rock, instead of in the shifting sand — knowing what God says about me is True!
Several people seem to be really getting down as they read through the book. Here's a suggestion from the late Robert Murray M'Cheyene:
"FOR EVERY LOOK AT SELF TAKE TEN LOOKS AT CHRIST."
We need to keep our verses close by and "root out the enemy".
MFW
60's
Al.
This is awosome,I look back at the things I thought I was insecure about and say WHY! Now I say bring on the rest of this book because with Jesus on my side we can put this insecurity thing down.
Stacey
Buffalo, SC
Married 17 years
40
Tamara
30
NB, Tx
2.Top 3 reasons to deal with insecurity:
A)So that my children will see in me what it looks like to be SECURE in Christ.
B)So that I can break through the barriers that have prevented me from fulfilling my calling.
c)So that I can take the focus off "self" and see who I am in Christ by focusing on His strengths, not my weaknesses!!
4.To me dignity is being vulnerable to ONLY Christ himself and no one else. To no longer let man oppress me and be a source of worry and distress. To let Christ be my source of strength and honor!
Recently, I was talking with my 6 yr old daughter who along with her siblings, I tell them they have and inheritance from God because they are His children. She began to cry and told me that her inheritance was bad because she was bad. She sees her inclination to make bad choices as an insecurity that keeps her from enjoying the blessings of God.As if she has no control over her choices. I told her that because of the cross, God sees her very differently than we see ourselves and that through Him..we have overcome!!! She is only 6, how I pray that I live Secure in Christ, so that her and her sister and brother see that we are who GOD says we are!!!!
I'm rooting out the insecurity because:
A. I'm just plain tired of letting other people have that kind of power/control over me.
B. I want to live a fulfilling, joy-filled life NOW, regardless of my circumstances!
C. Satan is betting on me staying stuck, and that ticks me off. I know a more abundant life is on the other side of this, and I'm bound and determined to get there, with God's help.
Dignity is being deeply secure in who God says I am, who He says He is, and what His promises for me are when I trust and obey Him wholeheartedly. Dignity is living beyond myself and my "issues", and serving others.
Rebekah
Illinois
34
single mom
Kansas
30's (starting in April :O) )
1) What hit home with me about chapter seven is that I can say I have been made a fool. I haven't been a boot licker but just about everything else because I wanted so badly to be loved by a man. Reading this chapter revealed to me that I really have been lead astray by insecurity in areas that I didn't want to even think about. I am so that girl who would sit in her cube at work and wait for everyone else to leave from outside it so I could get up and go to the bathroom! Sad but true!!
2)
A I went through an unwanted divorce from an acoholic and abusive husband. I never stood up for myself to proctect myself and I never stood up for my Christian beliefs around him. I felt that I had no value. Yet I know I have value because God says that I do.
B I'm tired of being so quiet and trying to be perfect when peoples actions are sick, wicked and harmful. I want to be able to stand up boldly against things that are not of God and protect my family. I had such a hard time standing up for right and wrong because I was so afraid of what someone might think of me, I didn't want someone to NOT like me. Now I know it matters most what the Lord thinks of me and that it matters that I shine HIS light of TRUTH on every situation! (I'm tired of hiding under a bushel ;o) )
C I'm ready to truly find my worth in Christ, I'm ready to be a bold Christian woman. Not easily tossed around by the ways and views of the world that we live in. I'm ready to be what God created me to be, and insecurity is not a part of that!!
3) A trigger that didn't trigger me in the past week. Well God has been revealing and speaking to my heart alot through this book. I have learned that a huge trigger for my insecurity is my mothers reactions to just about anything good or bad. My mom triggers me most when she is triggered by her mom… AUGH!!! Gross realization. This past weekend she was triggered by a few comments (interrigations) from her own mother. By Monday night I was being interrigated by my MOM about a project that I had put off far too long. The part that hurt was that I was elbow deep in the project when she wanted to start hashing and rehashing all the reasons it had taken me so long. Not only hurtful but very wasteful time wise. Instead of it triggering my own insecurity and heading down hill in a whirlwind of doesn't she love (because I know she does) I was able to say that I was working on it now and not fall into the trap of an hour interigation about my past failors. Praise the Lord GOD ALMIGHTY!! And because of that I got some major work done and my feelers really weren't bent at all!
4) Dignity to me is being able to walk with my head high, having value and knowing that that value is in Christ. Strength and VALUE.
This is my first time posting to the "Insecurity" study. I'm totally devouring this book.
My heart screamed when I read the parts about being insecure about our men. I never would have thought that would be me, but it is. Within the past 2 months we have had so many changes in our family it has shaken my foundation. We have baby #2 on the way, my man took a job in another town and is working for days at a time, my son and I stay with my parents while he is gone, and I'm struggling with depression without meds because of the pregnancy. Not only that, but my husbands paramedic partner is a woman who I just discern in my heart is not good for him or our marriage. She crosses the line too many times for me to be ok with it. My husband is faithful to me but I am still so insecure when he doesn't call, answer when I call, or reply to my texts. It makes me stinkin' crazy! In this chapter it was said how annoying it was that Satan has such a sway with my mind and I have such unwarrented doubts could have been taken from my mouth.
2. Why it's time:
A. For my family. My man is a good man and deserves a secure woman. My son needs to see what a woman secure in God is so he can find one too someday (glad to read alot of ladies wanting to model security for their daughters.)
B. For me. I'm tired of feeling like a tangled up, worthless mess. Surely God made me for more than chaos!!!!
C.It's time to break the cycle somewhere. In the words of TobyMac, "If ya gotta start somewhere why not here. If ya gotta start sometime why not now!"
3. Triggers. Every time my mans phone goes off with a text or call from HER. My stomach drops, and I want to throw up and cry. I don't even know how to begin to deal with this. Usually I just walk away, he doesn't understand why this bothers me. (they are just friends of course)
4. Dignity means I have the right to stand up for what the Word of God says my marriage should be without fear of what anyone thinks, including my husband. Dignity means I have a choice and I choose to be free in Christ. Dignity means it doesn't matter what other people think about me (including myself) what matters is what I know God has given me.
Week 4 – – March 4, 2010
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
I was determined to get through Chapter 7 – – D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.E.D. Because my belief is that if I can't get through that chapter – there's obviously something in there I need to read. But I must say I loved Chapter 7 – I'm not alone!!! So I'm reading – and I'm doing great and sure enough there it was. . . .
The sentence at the bottom of page 115 – "If you think insecurity makes run-of-the-mill parenting difficult, it can make the challenges of stepparenting nearly debilitating:" Tears ran down my face because there it was in black and white and it's been recognized. I was so scared to turn the page – the story on page 117 I can sort of relate. When I married my husband my stepdaughter made the choice to call me "mommy" it was her choice not mine. Her mother has spent the past 5 years bashing my husband and myself to my stepdaughter about everything – stuff she doesn't even know anything about. And talk about insecure – – her mother's accusations have made me question every single part of my existence. and the silly part is, she probably has no idea the impact she's had on me.
2. (If you're choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity. (We're not looking for right answers. We're looking for YOUR answers. Don't copy off your fellow sojourners' papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don't get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
A) For myself – otherwise I'm going to be crazy
B) For my husband
C) For our children – including my stepdaugther – they all need someone that's confident and has dignity!
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
A girlfriend of mine said I must publish this on the blog so I would have some freedom – my stepdaughter is having a talent show next weekend and I have just about made myself sick over the entire thing. I simply do not want to go – not because I don't want to support my stepdaughter but more because I don't want to have to face her mother and stepfather. I even had the irrational idea of faking being sick… and then demanding my husband stay home and take care of me. Crazy. . . crazy . . . crazy! So next Friday night when I walk through the doors of that school in my soul I'll be chanting over and over "It's okay. I'm completely clothed."
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
Dignity means to be worthy of respect. To know who I am in Christ and believe it! To know He loves me more than I can ever imagine and for me to be able to handle situations gracefully.
1. I have been dealing with the isecurity of having a teenage daughter. I so want her not to become boy crazy or feel that a boyfriend will finally complete her because I made that mistake in college and came very close to marrying that man and it would have been a HUGE mistake. I try so hard NOT to be an out of control mom with my precious daughter. I want to say so much to her, but I get scared that she will feel that I am lecturing her and I don't ever want to hurt her feelings or push her away with my motormouth. The example you gave in the book pp.114-115 the mom of a 16 yr. old daughter, that is me. That is what I fear most, that she will not value herself for just being herself.
top three: a. I don't want to be afraid anymore when I am feeling insecure, I want to have the tools to say NO, I am not going there, believe it, mean it, and do it, with Jesus helping me along the path to security. b. I am just plain sick of feeling insecure and truly want to say "So Long!" those feelings are such a waste of my time. c.Time waster, that is what it is, I want to go bodly forth with a new attitude and hopefully bring a few fellow sojouners along with me. For Pete's sake, the creator of the universe took time to knit me in my mother's womb. I owe it to Him to shout out "Look! Look everybody! This is my Daddy!" Also to know He is saying,"Look this is my child!" PTL!! 3.Recent trigger would be a huge life change for me and my family. My husband is retiring from the AF and for the first time in 16 yrs. of marriage we finally get to choose where we want to live, pick out our dream home and live close to family. I fell hook line and sinker into the enemies hands. However, recently I confessed my mistrust in God, my unbelief and sin of not believing He is working on my family's plan and it was a huge relief to my soul. I am finally at peace and know without a doubt He will place us where we need to be. Lesson learned by a BIG control freak. 4. Dignity to me is feeling peaceful in my soul, peaceful with my daily relationship with God, liking who I see in the mirror everyday. Being able to stick to my beliefs, not be tossed about on a wave. To have God's respect and that I honor Him in all I do and say and to respect myself even when I mess up.
March 5, 2010 2:33 PM
Look forward to the book
Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities-
A)In the spirit of "Braveheart"- FREEDOM!!
B)So that I can raise up my daughter in a more healthy way!!
C)I am 42– and can I say It's about time!!
My latest insecurity came when I was part of the worship team last Sunday (ya know- what do I wear, my hair, etc) plus I am a pastor's wife!! But I had already read Chapter 8 (sorry, can't put it down 🙂 and I was armed and ready to dispel that "voice" inside and had such a WONDERFUL worship experience!
Thanks for tackling this issue Beth! Changing me- changing others around me!
Michelle
Thornton, CO
I forgot my info.
Andrea – Montana- 40's – happliy married
Thank you so much Siesta Mama for your time to make the video message for us, it really means a lot to know that you care for us all and we care for you and all the people involved in your LP Ministry. I love you back!:-)
My Dear April, none of us doubt the extra insecurities step-parenting can bring. I'm so proud of you for letting us hold you accountable to going to your step daughter's talent show next Friday. DO IT! And it looks like you've already picked out the right wardrobe: you are clothed with strength and dignity. I pray that Christ is so full in you that you even feel love and compassion for the other set of parents. Be sure and save Jesus a seat. Sounds like to me, He's planning to go.
Danielle
20's
Greenville, SC
2. My personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A. I'm tired of missing out on things, blessings, and even friendships because I'm too insecure – worried that I won't be accepted or taken seriously. I want my life to be glorifying to Christ & my insecurity does not reflect Him.
B. I'm tired of my insecurity affecting my relationship with my husband.
C. And thirdly, for my sons. My boys are ages 2 & 9 months. I want them to see a secure woman when they look at the momma. Not only do I have a huge impact on their own personal lives but also what they will look for in a wife.
3. A recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise:
I have always been insecure in my relationships – especially with females. I have recently befriended a lady at our church who is friends with others in the church. Several months ago we were at a church function and she asked if they other person was coming. I immediately thought "she doesn't like me. she's not enjoying being with me, she just wants her. why am i bothering!?" Thinking back it's ridiculous! I've been so hurt in friendships in the past…I long for strong, deep female friendships. When I find a female that I get a long with I worry so much that I'm goig to do or say something that she'll think is stupid or that I won't be good enough to be her friend. It's silly, really.
4. What does dignity mean to me:
Whenever I think of dignity I think confidence. Not cocky or arogant. Confident in who he/she is.
wow. good grief. so much to take in. i'm so ready for it though. and this is my first day commenting on this blog!
i think i almost identify with every insecurity story in chapter 7 in some way or another. like i feel at least i am capable of any of them.
can i just say that i love this? i love knowing that Jesus loves me enough to teach me. all the time. Beth, you have discipled me for the last ten years of my life! times when i had no one pouring into me, you were my dear mentor. it helps that somebody else loves Jesus out there probably even more than me, makes me feel less crazy with my obsession and intensity for him. 🙂 i love being healed by him and that he loves me enough to let me be aware of the insecurity i have so he can he can heal my very wounded heart.
my biggest insecurity these days revolve around my physical appearance. i love my husband. and my husband loves me. we have been married for 3 years and he confessed to me his recent struggle with pornography that left me feeling stunned, ashamed, and what felt like mourning the loss of someone who has died. is that crazy? we have a little girl who is two years old now and i suffer from insecurity. my body is different. i stay at home with her. i just don't feel beautiful anymore. i'm ashamed to be naked in front of my husband. but i can't stay this way. i've got to get out. and my husband can't be the one who helps me.
another trigger with staying home with my little girl is that i'm not accomplishing significant things. and we don't have a lot of money. so whenever i see someone who is successful (even spiritually) it makes me ask myself, "what am i doing wrong?" i fear also that the one thing i dream of doing (living out my destiny) i'm going to fail at. maybe destinies don't have to look like what i've always thought they should.
because of my insecurity, i cannot afford to give to my family the way they need me to. i've lost my free spirit. i've lost my laughter. and my joy. i cannot serve and love my husband when i'm drowning in insecurity and feeding it by looking through magazines and making to-do lists of how to look better, what clothes to buy, and how to lose 10 pounds quickly. -how to decorate better…gross! all of that wasted time. desperately licking my own wounds, i fail to love people the way they are worthy of. can i just stop and think about others? can i enjoy other women and be captivated by their worth and the way Jesus adores them and stop worrying about my own frail insecurities!?? i'm sick of it! Jesus rid me of this disease! i want to love like never before. i want to be healed!
dignity means that i can post this without fear. dignity means that i'm covered. clothed. protected from the elements that could potentially hit me or hurt me. i can be transparent without fear of being naked. i felt the courage to put my name in this post but out of respect for my husband and to protect him, i opted not to. but otherwise i would have! but not 3 weeks ago 🙂
Diane
40's, married
Montana
1. Part of Chapter 7 that hit home, was the woman who said she was not good at small talk and tend to be standoffish which comes off as being snobish.
2. Three top reasons why I need to deal with my insecurity.
a. insecurity is exhausting
b. want to be a good example for my children
c. freedom
3. Recent trigger. Wrote a note to someone I had lost contact with. Debated about sending because maybe she wouldn't care about reconnecting. I sent it off today!
1. “Insecurity can confine us” hit home with me. I was painfully shy growing up. I was afraid of people. I walked around with a knot in my stomach at school, and I stayed home a lot. As an adult, I suffered with anxieties for many, many years. Social anxiety was the worst. There was another “me” inside dying to get out, but a sense of overwhelming condemnation and fear that wouldn’t let me. After developing panic disorder, I became agoraphobic. For two years my home became my refuge and my prison. Although God has done so much for me since then, insecurity has been creeping in, but I'm onto it now.
2. Why it’s time to deal with my insecurity:
a) It’s too costly
b) I desperately want to live in the freedom of the Spirit
c) I want to be all God wants me to be
3. Recent trigger: I recently upped my shade of blonde. At choir, 2 women mentioned it, “Did you lighten your hair?”, and didn’t follow up with a compliment. Just a nod. Two days ago, I went back to the darker blonde shade.
4. Dignity means I can walk with my head held high inside my soul.
Question 2:
A) Because it's embarrassing
B) It makes me do things that are totally out of my normal character
C) It robs me of my joy and makes me miss out on life
Question 4:
Having my dignity means having my self-worth back. It means having great respect for myself back.
Lauren
Montgomery, AL
20's / Married
What I want to know is how did you know that my response to your point about Ch. 7 was "What if I'm not willing or able to DO whatever it takes". =) Probably an insecurity but I don't implement much of what I read becuase what if it doesn't work or I can't do it? So I enjoyed your video message. I'll get to the answers for this week soon. I've got to figure out what and how much I'm willing to DO. And I'm not sure.
Karen
Washington
Married
30s
Trying for concise, but don't hold your breath (giggle, giggle):
Q1: I'm going way out on a limb here and I'm scared to death but pg 126 could've been written by me some years ago. The Lord God Almighty has healed so much of my pain and shame that accompanied the abuse I suffered, but it is a definite scorch mark. And naturally, most of the insecurity that I have battled with finds root within the damage done by the abuse. Other areas that jumped out at me: I couldn't help but laugh out loud when reading the section "Insecurity can turn you into a public fool" May God richly bless the dear heart who wrote that section. I have acted like the "queen bee" on pg 118, I have done all sorts of things out of fear of rejection, I have short-changed myself and the Lord because of insecurity. God gifted me with so many talents and insecurity has stifled and smoothered so much. (my prayer: Oh Lord, my God, please forgive me for not doing enough for You!)
Q2: I think that pg 115 sums up what I want from this journey. The birth of each of my children has helped me walk closer to God. (When the Bible says that children are a blessing, you have no concept to how much of a blessing until you are continually confronted to lean on Him and how incredible life is with God as your father and friend.) So my aim here is some self sanctification….God works on our sanctification and He has definitely done some pruning, some major renovations in my life and on my soul, but now it's time for ME to put away the insecurity. I know that my daughter will turn into me (isn't that always the case that you turn into your mother?!) and I want to be spiritually, emotionally healthier so that she turns into the "better version" of me. (am I making sense here?) And the same reasoning for my sons…they will pick a bride that is like their mother (and I am cringing to think that I mirror my MIL at all). So it is a continual ministry to the coming generations. If my daughter attends to her walk with God (as I have in recent years) then her choices in life will be better than my choices that were made without God. And so too for my sons.
Q4: Dignity to me means that I don't have to hold myself under the microscope any longer. I don't have to compete, I don't have to be the best, smartest, prettiest….just me. I don't need to question what I do (or how it is done) according to any human's opinion, I only submit myself before God, knowing that I can do nothing to merit His love and grace; He has sovereignly bestowed love to me, striving therefore that all I do, I do to bring Him glory. Resting in His love…that is dignity.
I haven't been able to contribute to the posts since my computer has been down for the last three weeks. Advice: kids (3 under age 8) + coffee + laptop = fried!!
God bless,
Lori
(late) 30's
Married