So Long Insecurity Week Four!

So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.

Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.

I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.

We have the God-given right to be secure.

In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.

If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.

You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:

THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.

As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.

OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?

2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.

3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.

4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?

You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.

You are loved here!

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865 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week Four!”

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Comments:

  1. 251
    Anonymous says:

    Lori at 5:08 on 3.5.2010:

    I just read your post and your description of dignity and it went right to my heart. Your description is what I'm aching for. I'm going to copy your words and pray them for me. Thank you.

  2. 252
    Siesta Mary from MN says:

    My weight has kept me from saying yes to so many things and just staying inside shutting out the rest of the world. Being a woman of strength and dignity to me would be being able to walk in to any place with my head held high not caring about what anyone thought and the love and the humility of Jesus emenating from my face.

  3. 253
    Mariah says:

    I left a comment earlier, but I guess it didn't get posted…I just wanted to say something to Beth:

    You how you said you would hope us ladies would think you're at least cute?

    Well, when I see your texas blonde hair and boppity personailty all I can think of is:

    A cute, little face conspicuously hiding a "chubby-bunny" mouthful of chocolate truffles(with a little risidue around the lips)…LOL, I don't mean that at all in a bad way, you're cheeks aren't chubby!!! it's the whole cute, sweet personality thing coming out in you.

  4. 254
    Robin says:

    Oh sweet Beth, how I wish we were having coffee somewhere and talking right now. I don't struggle much with security, but this week has been an extremely difficult one for me. I have found myself doubting so many things about me and friendships I have. Just about ready to give up and let the insecurity win and just about ready to give up on the journey of reading the book. When I saw your video of the person who said she felt raw I can so identify. I hope and pray that I can stay the course here and push through. So so sad at this particular time. Praying that Christ will grow me through this and I will be stronger. All this sounds pretty pathetic huh? I will be on my knees praying this week for God to move in my heart.

  5. 255
    Retta says:

    I too have finished the book and felt the same way… but for me at least, it was like the initial reaction… since then I have digested some of it and each day I feel stronger in relying on my new-found, God-given security… Thanks again Beth for your faithfulness to God and us. I loved the video btw always a presure to see and hear you. And we love you back*wink*.

  6. 256
    PrincessTrish says:

    Tricia, 37, married
    Ohio

    1. The part about insecurity involving men resonated the most with me. One quote in particular just threw me back to a horrible time I try to forget about,rather than deal with and get over. Healing can be so difficult, but I know with Jesus it can happen. (Have to admit I also had to giggle that I'm not the only one with drive-thru and public restroom issues, too!)

    2.A. Insecurity robs me and my family of happiness.
    B. It keeps me from living fully.
    C. Insecurity prevents me from doing things that I clearly hear God calling me to do, because I don't want to mess up.

    3. Recent trigger? Husband just turned 40 and has had some trouble with it. He's been less open than usual and more introspective in general. I have been trying not to make this about me, because it's not. (So yes, sometimes it gets a rise, but not as much as it usually would…I'm working on it.)

    4. Dignity to me is the God-given worth we have as human beings.

  7. 257
    The Coleman Family says:

    To Anonymous at 4:57 am:
    I can't speak for anyone else, but as for my situation insecurity had been apart of my entire life. I honestly believe it was a way for Satan to rob me of God's glorious plan for my life. I've hated it forever. I've never been able to change it on my own, I've tried. I couldn't fight Satan on my own, he's much to powerful for me. It wasn't until I gave it over to God, let Him fight this battle for me, did the steps in the book, that I received complete healing from God. There's NO WAY I could be insecure one day and then secure the next without the deliverance of God. I literally felt like I was in bondage to it. There is no doubt in my mind that God healed me and I thank Him every day. I pray that you too will receive the same healing that I did.

    Tamara
    Highlands Ranch, CO
    30's
    Married

  8. 258
    Anonymous says:

    I couldn't disagree more with earlier post that we are sounding too down.

    WE ARE FINALLY BE HONEST!!!!! OMG we AREN'T perfect and have some major baggage. So long insecutiy and bye bye fakeness. I'm ready to call this destructive disease what it is and ADMIT I have it. But sisters, I'm climbing out of it. Once you get to the middle of this book and get on your knees to take on the battle on front lines, the book moooooooooves, the Spirit of God moooooooooooves, revelation starts coming quickly and the sweet smell of freedom is getting closer. I say we spill it here. The hurts, disappointments whatever happened that just really hurt. Because just like an addiction – it starts healing over once it's out there for all it is. Suddenly the deepest, most embarrassing drop gets into the light!!! Sweet Jesus please make a miracle out of us!

    Lisa
    Magnolia
    45

  9. 259
    Anonymous says:

    I was just thinking about you the other day when I went into a "group class" of people wanting to learn to play piano. There were 8 of us…they were of the following ages: 6,8,8,9,10,11,12 and 45. I'll let you guess which one of us was 45!!! I almost died, but I did NOT let the "insecurity" get to me. Thanks for that!

  10. 260
    Sandy says:

    Durant, OK
    40's
    Married

    First, I want to tell you a story that I think you will all like, if I can word it just right. . .

    My almost 17 year old son had listened with me, in the car to Ch. 7.
    Then, the other night, he told my husband,
    "Even Beth Moore has. . ."
    My husband and I both corrected him. Then I realized that he had heard her reading someone else's story in Ch. 7.
    I was quickly setting him straight, and he said something about me being in the "Beth Moore Woman club". I told him it was called "Siestas".

    I have listened to the whole book and am listening to it over & over.
    I just won a different Beth Moore audio set from Longmeado Mama. I am excited!

    I'll come back to answer the questions.

  11. 261
    MOMOF3GOGOGO says:

    Monica
    40
    Ohio
    I have been working on my emotional stability/growth for over 10 years, seriously. I have done BSF, all of Beth's bible studies as well as some others and been involved in great church families. I KNOW that God loves me and I KNOW that I am going to be with him in heaven one day. I KNOW that I am washed whiter than snow. Those things are easy for me. What I don't know is WHAT is going to happen tomorrow. WHEN will the next "bomb" drop. HOW will we deal with x, y or z when the time comes. I have faith in God; but I have less faith in my humanness. I want to be a secure person in all areas. I want to be a woman of dignity. I want to teach this to my daughters; and I want my children to NOT have to deal with insecurities like I do. I want my son to feel confident so that he can slay dragons one day. I want my GREAT husband and I to grow old together in a joyful way all the way to the end.

    My trigger is when I feel out of control in an area..that is when I tend to lose my dignity. I want security and stability and when it feels like the ship is rockin, I want to be the captain and sail it to calm waters. That is when I am not the best mom or the best wife. I get bossier and hateful, unbearable at times. Sometimes I can catch myself and other times it doesn't go so well. I have lots of "sorries" to say.

    Dignity is respect. I want to be respecting of myself and definitely of my husband and children. They are the most important people to me; and when my trigger is set, I hurt them the most, just to feel "in control." It's a shame, really.
    The days that I catch myself and stop the madness are great days of victory where the devil did not get a foothold on me. I feel like my life has that dignity and that is when I feel more powerful. So, why don't I embrace that more? Impulse..Anxiety..Insanity. God help me!

  12. 262
    April says:

    THANK YOU BETH FOR COMMENTING ON MY POST!

    I am currently doing Breaking Free – and in April I am going to your conference for So Long Insecurity in Woodstock GA. I turn 30 the very next weekend. I am going to claim this right now…. I am leaving all this junk behind. . . bring it on 30 I'm going to be a brand new woman!!!

    I love you Beth!

    April, 29
    Williamson GA
    married

  13. 263
    Christy says:

    1. The part of Chapter 7 that hit home to me was about how our insecurities will lead us to accept and endure such foolishness and abuse and we believe we deserve it or that we simply aren't "good enough" to deserve better. This is only a very small example of the relationship that I'm thinking about (remembering with horror) but I am a proud Southern woman. I dated a man who told me, as we were on the way to meet his friends up north, that I had better do something about my Southern accent or everybody there would think that I was a ignorant and dumb. You know the crazy thing? I got to the party and one of the older guests kept asking me was I SURE I was from Georgia, because I didn't have any accent at all??? Yes, apparently I was so insecure with myself that I actually spoke in a different tone and pattern and spent an entire night sounding like another person. I didn't even know I was doing it. It wasn't deliberate. It was the foolish response to a person who gave me just enough love and attention to keep me motivated to take the mean-ness and lack of attention that was normally dished out.

    2. Why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
    A. I am raising a daughter. Enough said.
    B. I am tired of being so afraid of the women in my Sunday School class and in church who look like they have it all together, that I fail to worship and definitely hold back in sharing because I don't want them to think I'm a total loser.
    C. My husband's career is really taking off, and we both firmly believe that it is God's plan and His doing that are making so many things happen. But because of my insecurity and fears, I have never gone to listen to him speak in any groups and I am afraid to meet his friends and associates when he travels because I don't think I'm exciting enough or look good enough or any other "enoughs" that I want to put myself out there.

    3. I am currently working on overcoming an insecurity of being with new people. Today, I finally made the call to a lady in our church who is teaching a Bible study group that starts next week. I know that it would help me to get to know more women in our church, and the subject matter is pertinent to my life (raising children) but I have really been nervous about this. Finally, I just decided to trust that God had given me the chance to enter this group for His good reasons, and that I was just going to do it. Don't worry about it. Don't obsess about it. Don't worry that I won't know everybody in the room or whether or not they will like me or think I have any sense at all. Just go do the thing. Stop letting satan rob me of growth and happiness and joy in my home church because I'm afraid I'm not up to par socially or any other way with the rest of the congregation.

    4. To me, dignity would mean to be able to walk into a room full of strangers, head held high, looking people in the eyes, wearing a smile on my face, being able to breathe while doing all of this, and all the time knowing that I am a precious daughter of God who is loved and cherished by the One who not only knows who I am, but who made me who I am. Can you even imagine such a feeling?

  14. 264
    Country Fried says:

    Country Fried
    30s
    Lubbock (for now but moving soon)

    Top 3 reasons to deal with it:

    A) So that I can finally once and for all accept that I will never be able to be loved by god because of what I was born into and raised in. I tell myself over and over that I'm okay with it but secretly deep down inside I'm not okay with it. It's a daily struggle to fight against the desire to want to learn about your god and to ask questions but at the same time being so afraid of what I was taught would happen if I turned away from the religion I was raised in.

    B) To be able to be free to discover who I am and not feel like I'm being judged all the time. Although only my best friend knows how I was raised, I always feel like other people can "see" it in me. She lovingly reassures me that no one sees me any differently than anybody else. Just my own insecurity of being raised so differently.

    C) To be able to give more of myself through nursing so that I can help more people.

    3) My insecurity is triggered almost on a daily basis in my area of nursing because a lot of my patients are dealing with life and death issues. Therefore many of them talk about their religion on a daily basis and do that prayer thing. I always feel SO uncomfortable and incredibly dumb because I don't understand this god stuff. So I try to be there for them but also try to graciously slip away.

  15. 265
    Tami says:

    Dear Anonymous 9:55 AM,

    I'm praying for you, and I know your healing is coming! You want freedom so badly you can almost taste it!

    He rewards those who diligently seek Him.

  16. 266
    Anonymous says:

    1. What spoke to me in Ch. 7?

    THE GOAL: To see the price we're paying when we don't deal with our insecurities & when left unchecked & unhealed it makes idiots out of us over & over.

    Also, how we desparately need to learn a different response when we're tempted to panic & overcommunicate with people. LOVE the Proverb= "Better to stay quiet & be thought a fool than to speak rashly & remove all doubt."
    Hating the times insecurity has caused you to do the "ugly cry"

    2.)Based on my journey so far my personal top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities

    A. Sick of my OVERsensitive,fragile,vulnerable,unhealthy emotions, that have caused me to do the "ugly cry" one too many times more than necessary. And caused me to act on it instead of deliberately choosing not to act on that insecurity (Don't get me wrong, a good "ugly cry" has been the best thing for my soul @ times, as long as my good sense & sound thinking hasn't flown out the window with it. lol!)

    B.Ready for some Godly Whole Transparent relationships!

    C.Ready to live with JOY an abundant, effective, Spirit-filled life God has planned for me!

    3.) Triggers….HMMM! Let's just say more that three on the list applied directly to me (pg.146, 149) & have definately caused my unhealthy emotions & good thinking to long be gone!

    4.)Dignity to me=
    God crowned honor, God himself gave me & wrapped around my mind

    A woman who Self controlled making deliberate choices about what she says based on her priorities. A woman whose personality is not changed by circumstances, but exhibits GRACE under all kinds of challenges. A woman who knows who she is in Christ & chooses to act in ways consistent of her high calling as a child of God instead of allowing her emotions to rule. A woman clothed with the strength of Christ & His Gracious Spirit. <3

    Colossians 3:12

    Monica
    Hicksille, NY.
    1 year shy of 40's ;o)

  17. 267
    3boymom says:

    I loved your encouraging in the video – I for one needed that and am thankful I am dealing with these issues with like-minded friends.

    I read every story in Chapter 7 and it only encouraged me to stand firm and fight this thing instead of doing what the enemy wants and too easily gets from me, discouragement and depression. I related to insecurity being a robber. I look back at several friendships that were shattered because of my insecurity. It is a deep root in me. I can remember as a little girl looking out my bedroom window while I was lying in bed at night and wishing with all I could wish (did not know to pray) that I could somehow trade place with my neighbor, Angie. She was all I wanted to be beautiful, popular, had 2 parents that loved her and did not fight all the time like mine and her mom stayed home and actually mended her Barbie clothes! It was the start of a deep seed of envy that the enemy deceived me with.
    2. My reasons to deal with insecurity – to be free and not let the enemy have a hold on me or on our marriage and my friendships anymore. To be a Godly example to my three boys that I homeschool.
    3. Recent trigger – a certain friend that brings out a lot of insecurity in me came back into my life. I'm ashamed to say it affects our friendship and I honestly don't want it to. She is beautiful which triggers one insecurity, but her marriage is the biggest trigger, it's what I want our to be someday. 4. Dignity means to me to see myself as worthy because of Jesus in me and to not let fear, and insecurity rob me and deceive me into believing the lie. I so want to be free and unbound from all the bondages so I can be secure in who I am in HIM. So that I can be a Godly wife, mom, teacher, and friend.

    Thanks for encouraging us all to press on!!!

    Karen in AZ
    married in her 40's

  18. 268
    T says:

    Sorry this late…
    ch 5
    Instability in the home…I grew up in a single parent household; never knew my natural father as he made that choice to not be a part of my life until I turned 25. My mom was great and despite her own insecurities she did her best to give me a stable home. However, I remember my grandparents when they were drinking and mom and I hiding in our home so she didn't have to deal with them. For as much as they tore her down, they lifted me up on a pedestal for all my cousins to see. I could do no wrong in their eyes. Needless to say, that wasn't easy. So I learned to be perfect as much as one could. I have never really admitted to that. I suppose it had to do with my facial birthmark and the numerous surgeries I had growing up. That in itself can make one insecure; that is probably the real issue is the instability not in my immediate home but in the extended family unit that was our support. After all, my mom very young herself.

    Along with that goes an adult relationship with my mother that is confusing and still rooted in not letting me be an adult. I often feel like I can not please her by words or actions, even though I know she loves me dearly. I think she thinks I must be cared for; that she must do for me what no one did for her. However, I just want a healthy adult relationship with her. I miss the mom I grew up with.

    2. Rejection – rejection of my cousins and not fitting in as I grew up. Rejection from the man I fell in love with (he didn't love me) and trusted my entire self with. Being pregnant and having family members who could not deal with me not being married – after all I had "tested God" (Insecurity speaking – I only spent one night with him before he broke my hear.) Other family members who nicknamed me Mary and my son JC (Jesus Christ). Needless to say I built quite a wall around my heart in an effort to get rid of that sensitive side. I didn't want to feel anymore.

    PS My son's father is back in our lives and trying to mend things. Talk about insecure. Every conversation leaves me in a tailspin. But God is good and He is faithful!

    ch 6
    Since I read this chapter over a week ago, the issue of pride has been one I have had to pray about, search for more information and one that I need to evaluate more. When I first read this section, I didn't get it. I think I have read it 4 or 5 times now. Even went on an internet search about what the bible says about pride. This is what really stuck in my mind and made it all make sense:

    "Pride is giving ourselves the credit for something that God has accomplished. Pride is taking the glory that belongs to God alone and keeping it for ourselves."

    That hurt and this is something I am going to have to really deal with. Satan is trying to stop me with craziness. He is putting roadblocks up, but I know in my heart that this battle is already one. Praise God.

    I will learn to get my priorities straight. I must learn I can't do it All and be ALL to those I work with, my family and my Lord.

    I must ask for prayer from all of my siestas out there. I am faced with a big insecurity right now. My 86-year old grandmother is in the hospital and not doing well. I know she will be going home to see the Lord soon. This leaves so many issues and insecurities with my family. How do I mend a relationship with my mom? not feeling like I am doing everything I can, etc.. .There goes that perfectionism and trying to control it all. Thanks for your prayers.

    Now on to the next part of our journey. No looking back…..40 single mom Panhandle of NE

  19. 269
    Anonymous says:

    Katie
    Firestone, CO
    20s
    Married

    1. Realizing God knows life hurts and that He has made us resilient and with the ability to be restored!! I was very convicted by the statement "we will act like who we believe ourselves to be." My life would look much different if I acted like who I am in Christ!

    2.
    A. Reading chapters 1-8, I've realized I am WAY more insecure than I thought I was and see now it is pathetic and sad and I want to be a woman characterized by strength and dignity.

    B. I want to leave the right kind of legacy for my daughter, Grace. She is only 4, but I know she is watching and highly influenced by my example.

    C. This is one more opportunity to be "conformed to the image of Christ" and so bring Him glory by becoming more of who He wants me to be.

    3. I left a get together with friends and felt like I just didn't fit it – hair, clothes, personality, etc. When I got in the car to go home and thought about it, I realized the root problem was insecurity and while I didn't probably react the way God wanted me to, I at least saw it for what it was and can be better prepared to react the right way next time.

    4. Worthy of respect. This hit home! I assumed everyone else deserved respect… Not me!

    Beth – Thank you so much for the encouragement in the video. My life is often characterized by getting to the depressed part and quitting and never making it to deliverance! I've wondered how you and others can so passionately and persistently pursue Christ and I think what you emphasized in the video gave me the answer!

    Thank you!!

  20. 270
    Anonymous says:

    I am here tonight because I so got destroyed tonight by the enemy and my own wayward thought process. Sadly, I am too insecure to post exactly what happened in case someone that might know me would read this.

    However, when people start talking about how much the Lord loves me and how He doesn't make mistakes, etc…it is very hard for me to hear or receive. Sometimes, like tonight, it seems to make things worse. I can dismiss it too and have an entire argument in my head. Such as, "Well, HE didn't make me fat." He didn't make the decisions I made that caused x,y,or z, so He didn't make the mistake, I did. It starts an ugly spiral and I don't know how to stop it.

  21. 271
    Rockin' My Freedom says:

    1) In SLI, Beth writes, "In order to deal w/ the fact that we've been violated, sometimes, we will reframe a situation making ourselves out to be free agents who wanted it. Better to prove crass than weak." I can pinpoint a 2-year period where my promiscuity demonstrated just that. I’ve always just owned it w/ not much regret…or so I thought. I think what I’ve just gleaned is, I falsely reframed my perspective so not to give insecurity the credit. Um-hello-pride. Wow.

    2)
    A- I have a feeling of a particular purpose God has for me but at the same time, I doubt my credibility for the calling. It’s an area where I keep procrastinating because of these insecurity hang-ups. Incidentally, insecurity is “robbing my confidence & rich inheritance from God & shelving my gifts…”-SLI

    B- I’m looking for a way to defeat this issue FOR GOOD. Maybe it’s in this book? Certainly, Beth’s approach will help me find the remedy in God’s Word, not in psychological mumbo jumbo. I’ll be able to take that (the scriptures she shares) to the bank.

    C- I want to be able to say someday, “I’m proud of who I am,” and say it with God given humility. Maybe someday…is NOW.

    3) I thought I’d list something small as a reminder to watch even the littlest of areas that often depict our belief systems. –Whenever I’ve made a pot of coffee for a group, I’ve often apologized in advance if it’s too strong or too weak. When I make coffee for myself, it always tastes great to me. Stupid insecurity. –This week, I made coffee at work and gave myself a pep talk post saying, “You are clothed with strength & dignity.” I never said a word about the coffee…and neither did anyone else. Everyone just drank it. Imagine that. I’m hoping these smaller victories will lead to great ones. –Starbucks still tastes way better tho. ; )

    4) I’ll reference my answer in 2C: Saying I am proud of myself while having the respect of others…because of my unwavering security in Christ!

  22. 272
    Anonymous says:

    Hello Beth,

    I'm a lurker, but today, I break through and actually post!

    2. Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity.
    a. Before your book, I would have considered myself pretty secure. But then, right off the bat, you mentioned "rejection." And it hit me like a ton of well, insecure bricks. I am a writer and the last novel I wrote drifted quietly out onto the pond of publication…and it's still drifting. This crushes me as I spent nights, weekends, vacations writing and slaving over those 82,000 words. And it seems the world didn't care. And of course, I care that the world doesn't care.
    b. I am a working mom (not the writing; I have a day job, too.) I LOVE my job. And I have to have it. But of course, I worry that I am missing out on finger painting and snuggling. My husband tells me it's not all rainbows and kittens. And I believe him.

    3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you:
    We were at Target and the cute, teenage-ish cashier greeted my husband in a friendly manner. He's in that store at least twice a week with the kids, so it was no surprise. As I sorted the coupons and fumbled with my debit card (sexy!), I felt a jealous twang. But I formed the words I had read in this great Beth Moore book I am reading: TRUST GOD (hint: you'll get to it later). And, Mama Beth, I have to proclaim that peace rolled over me like a pure stream of God's love.

    Thank you, thank you. God bless you!

    PS Should I be insecure about this? My word verification is "Ha Loser."

    Married
    38
    Colorado USA

  23. 273
    Jen says:

    Jen (Newbie)
    26
    Nashville,TN

    2. 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities.
    1) I want to serve the Lord and I'm terrified of what people think of me and how they view me. I can't serve Him hiding in my house.
    2) Because I'm tired of feeling unworthy of love
    3) It's destroying my marriage

    3. I went to Wal-Mart (my big outing for the week) and I'm uncomfortable around people. I normally walk through the ailes and when someone passes me, I look at the floor. I don't meet people's eyes because I'm scared of what I'll see (what they think of me). This time, I held my head up, repeating over and over, "I am clothed in strength and dignity" and didn't look at the floor. I saw a very pretty woman and didn't want to run and hide. I looked at her and asked the Lord if she was insecure for Him to please help her too. It's a horrible prison to live in!

    P.S. Beth, I LOVE your CLOTHES!!! Had to tell you that 🙂

  24. 274
    Joni says:

    Anonymous said…
    I have a burning question… I have hesitated to write because I do not want to be a stumbling block to others. However, I NEED to know how to make sense in my mind how this process is GOD and more than just "mind over matter". I have been a Christian for years, I read the Word daily & pray, and I memorize Scripture. I just long to really know the "Healer" and to know it is more than my just trying hard to do what's right. Any thoughts, Siestas?

    March 5, 2010 4:57 AM

    Dear Anonymous,
    I came to know the "Healer" by surrendering my all during severe depression and panic and then by applying specific Scriptures to my specific needs as Beth taught in Believing God and Breaking Free. The more I read those verses and prayed those verses, the more empowered I felt in my spirit. The more empowered I felt, the better my depression became and the better my depression became, the more enabled I was to love God and depend on Him. The more He helped me in the day-to-day details of life, the more I sensed His presence. My mind was renewed and my spirit reborn. Before that I had spent 2 years trying everything I knew to do to get better–self-help tapes, positive-thinking tapes, self-help books and relaxation cds. If mind over matter could've healed me, I gave my mind plenty of opportunity. But nothing worked. Nothing. Until I cried out to Jesus for help and began filling my tortured mind with His healing Word. I placed myself in God's hands, and He took it from there.

  25. 275
    mollyepetrey says:

    Molly
    20s
    Single
    NC
    Well, this book is continuing to kick my tail, and I can sense God is up to something great! Now, onto the questions!

    I think capter 7 reminded me that I'm not the only one struggling with insecurity. I could relate to so many of the other women in this chapter. It really made me open my eyes to the women around me and start praying for them more.

    I want to deal with my insecurity because:
    A. I am sick and tired of not living the way God wants me to live. I've been paralyzed too long by this, and I've had it. I am willing to do everything He tells me to to get rid of this.
    B. I am the aunt to 5 precious little girls, I want them to look at me and know what a secure woman is like. I want them to know that God can give you security, and insecurity is not His will for our lives.
    C. I work with middle-school girls, and I see it everyday. Sad thing is when I'm counseling them, I might as well be counseling myself. I want them to know what a secure woman who is clothed with strength and dignity looks like.

    Question #8 really hit home this week. Does anyone else feel like the feeling of insecurity has been turned up a notch? It's almost as if the enemy is sensing that I'm breaking free from this junk, and is doing everything to keep me staying this way. Well, I feel that I won the battle with my latest bought of insecurity! Just this past Sunday I was scheduled to sing on the praise team at my church. I was wearing (what I thought to be) a somewhat cute outfit, when I suddenly caught a look of myself in the full length bathroom mirror. Needless to say, I didn't like what I saw. I started naming everything wrong with my outfit, my make-up, my general appearance…and I knew that a full-blown insecurity attack was on its way. However, I was armed against it this time 🙂 I looked at myself and said "Molly, you are CLOTHED with strength and dignity!" I said it four times, and suddenly the feeling of insecurity left! I was able to stand on the stage, and worship God without the insecurity lurking in the back of my mind. God is good!

  26. 276
    Joy V says:

    Feeling secure enough to post for the first time…even though my heart is racing.

    1. Realize my over the top response to things where I try to over help or give tmi is just me trying to "prove myself" to cover my insecurity at that moment.
    2. A. My 21 and 27 year old daughters. B. I have some really great girlfriends right now who know me and normally would be a good time to "run". C. My first successfull marriage after 2 failed ones.
    3. Husband promotion….insecurity of he will find someone more like him at work then I was like heck no he wont he really loves me !
    4.Dignity to me is not beating myself up anymore over the stupidness of my past which this book has already given me God validation of the reason for my insecurity which stems back to when I was 6.

    THANK YOU GOD!

  27. 277
    phillipsgirl says:

    Lanaya
    Jacksonville, FL
    30 yrs old; married 10 years

    1. What hit home: The fact that I've seen women act this way and instead of understanding and empathizing with them, I've judged and felt superior or thought they were snobby or wretched. I've been the enemy instead of the helper ~ at least in my mind.

    2. Why it's time to deal:
    A. I want to be a godly woman who grows old gracefully and people can see character in me instead of "wow, she really looks young/ she keeps herself up/ I wish I could be like her." I want women to be comfortable around me and be a help to them.
    B. I'm tired of wasting time on jealousy and comparisons and trying to look a certain way to get attention. There is no satisfaction from it ~ the fleeting satisfaction is not even worth it anymore.
    C. I want to know my intrinsic worth instead of trying to get it from my husband and others. My feelings/attitude are so often determined by how others feel about me. A roller coaster of a life.

    3. Just yesterday, my husband was a little short with me about something I hadn't done yet that he thought I was going to take care of. I took care of it, but then felt lowly, ugly, depressed. He had already apologized for being short, but I thought he was mad still. He wasn't ~ just quietly working on something. Until he started joking with me again, I just didn't feel good about myself. So I guess it did get a rise out of me. Although I was working hard to talk myself out of it.

    4. Dignity gives me a picture of a woman who because she knows she is right with her God, she stands tall with her head high no matter what others are saying around her. I think of Melanie from "Gone with the Wind". Scarlett had kissed her husband and when she showed up at Melanie's house, Melanie was gracious and forgiving in front of everyone.

  28. 278
    Erin says:

    Erin
    20's
    Engaged
    Stephens City,VA

    1. My top three reasons I know it's time to deal with this insecurity…
    A. When my fiance and I have a family someday, I don't want to pass on this insecurity baggage to my future daughter. I want her to be able to look at her mom and see a woman secure in her Savior and how He made her. And I want that for her, already, even though she's not even here yet.

    b. I'm tired of it. As simple as that. I want to be free of it.

    c. I want to be the godly woman God has called me to be. And insecurity has no place in that.

    2. What does dignity mean to me?
    When I hear the word 'dignity', I think of a dear, precious friend our family just lost. She died last week at the age of 95 due to cancer that had metastized to the brain. I think of dignity signifying being a lady. A secure lady in His eyes.

  29. 279
    much2ponder says:

    Just found this site today so I have not purchased the book yet. I have seen it though and have not thought of myself as insecure, but for some reason I feel it wild be valuable to own and read this book so I will look for it today 😉 I then will be outside of the loop as I already am and try to read through it as quickly as possible to catch up. Thank you so much for all you do for women everywhere. Blessings.

  30. 280
    Edna says:

    1. What part of chapter 7 hit home the most?

    The discussions about the insecurity and jealousy in friendship. That is what I have struggled with the most. It doesn't occur with everyone, though, but. . . Even with some friends at my work, I worry if they like someone else better. I often have the feeling of trying to do it all right so that I will be picked & "secure". Also sometimes worrying over how I am acting toward my friends–is it too much? Is it not enough?

    2. Top 3 reasons that I need to deal with insecurity:

    A) I want the abundant life that I'm promised!
    B) I don't want to live in fear & bondage
    C) I want OUT of the control seat and to be able to relax, let my guard down, and just be who I am without worrying about it.

    3. Recent trigger of insecurity and did I bite?
    Incident with a friend that I'm not as close to as I once was (b/c of co-dependency junk)and seeing her being all huggy and encouraging to all these other people. . . I did bite, in that I was very crabby and sensitive the rest of the day :-(.

    4. What does dignity mean to me?
    Worth, value, self-respect, security, control (of my emotions?)

    I'm very intrigued by this idea of seeing ourselves as always covered by Jesus and what that could mean day to day. . . I don't think I "get" it yet.

    40's (barely)
    Single
    O'Fallon, MO

  31. 281
    Anonymous says:

    1. Need to deal with my insecurites b/c I'm tired of it dictating my mood.

    2. I have found that my mood for the entire day can be dictated by either the scale or someone's comment. If I weigh and the scale is my "low" weight, then I'm in a good mood. If it's a couple of pounds higher – bad mood.

    Monica
    Mississippi
    Age 38

  32. 282
    Lindsey says:

    Sweet Beth,
    I just finished ch. 7 and bawled my eyes out. Please know…it was a good cry…the kind of cry that comes after realizing just how much my Savior longs to be my Abba. I so need to hear that Jesus takes pride in saying, "Look, look, everybody! This is My child!" I can't wait until the day when I will have physical access to His lap. There are sometimes days when I just need my "Daddy."

  33. 283
    Anonymous says:

    I know I write this every time I comment, but thank you for this book! God is using it to recreate me and I can't wait to be healed!

    1) Insecurity can make me give the wrong impression and twist my perceptions.

    2) Top 3 reasons:

    a) So I can stop considering what other people think when I'm making a decision

    b) So I can be free to be more compassionate, loving and open with the women in my life, instead of being guarded.

    c) So I don't have to feel afraid of being judged anymore!

    3) Chapter 8 in my book is covered in yellow highlighter so I can remind myself of the goal and purpose of this journey. A couple weeks ago I went to a party by myself thrown by one of my close friends. When I got the evite I was at first happy and excited for her and then when I looked at her guest list, I became anxious. She had invited more than 100 people. First, I'm not great in large groups. Second, some of the people on the list have triggered insecurity in me after other events. One of two things usually happens, either I'm a wall flower or I find myself engaged in an awkward, shallow conversation pretending to be interested. Either way, I usually end up feeling lousy later. The party was important because it was a thank you party for the people who helped my friend during her battle with cancer. I went to support her and left thinking about two women who made offhanded comments that left me wondering. The good news is, it didn't bother me as much as it would have before this journey. The bad news is, I still have a long way to go. I want to be free!!

    4) Dignity for me means allowing God to fill me with his love so that I can love and accept all people for who they are. Without him I have a "vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival". I've read ahead and that quote struck me. I don't like that about myself, but I know I do it and it does NOT bring me dignity!! I want to be clothed in strength and dignity!!!!

    Dena
    39
    Glen Ellyn, IL

  34. 284
    Anonymous says:

    I read this post Thursday, but didn't watch the video until today. I am so mad at my husband right now and I just wanted to thank you for doing the video and saying "Listen here." My dear aunt, who passed away years ago, used to say it just like you did. Hearing it made me feel so much better. Now I'm going to go pray for my husband.

  35. 285
    Chile siesta says:

    To anonymous:
    4:57 March 5
    Mind over matter verses God!

    I have lived Gods transforming power of yielding to His word in my life. You may know Romans 12:2 concerning the renewing of the mind. That is the Word at work. Christ Himself is the word made flesh. As we let the scriptures get from our heads to our hearts we make the decsion to choose to let it live itself out. It won't happen apart from a deliberate choice to do so. That is how I see it as God working, over mind and matter. He sent His word to heal us and delivery us from destruction (insecurity) (Ps 107:20)…it is He that does the healing…His word in action in us when we do the thing. Hope that helps!

    Love in Christ to a fellow Siesta.

  36. 286
    Sally says:

    I have to say, before I get to the questions, that the Lord has revealed a GIANT truth to me so far in this book. And that is, I have not been defining insecurity correctly. Up until now, I had always thought I had free floating issues with feeling "forgiven". However, that is really not the case. I have always felt completely "forgiven" and secure by my Father, since I got saved. I just have not felt that same sense of security in my surroundings and in my peers. I can finally say, it is not a forgiveness issue. It is an insecurity issue!! This is really freeeing for me!!!! And now, on to the questions.
    1. Loved the statement on pg. 143 "He knows we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary, and not just in spite of where we've been, but because of it." I wish I could drive this point home to my kids. Maybe I'll tape it to the fridge.
    2. It is time to deal with my insecurities because
    a. I finally have a correct definition for insecurity
    b. I spiral downwards as I seek to find security in my surroundings, myself, and others, and its really a very bad ride down there. I would like to get off of this ride forever.
    c. Once I get off of this bad ride, I will be so much more freed up to do and be where the Lord wants me to do and be, and in that to find His empowerment as well.
    3. A recent trigger of insecurity occured just this past week. I was at the dr. office, in a gown (opened in the front for an EKG), and reading So Long Insecurity, with the cover removed. The gown did not fit well. I was reading and clutching at the same time. In came a man to draw blood. He decided to chat with me about the book as I sat there clutching my gown. I decided I was not in the mood to chat, and was somewhat short in my responses. And VERY relieved when he left. Yes this got a huge rise out of me.
    4.Finally, I see the relationship between insecurity and loss of dignity. Now, I know what to look for. Praise God in the way you articulated this!
    Well, longest comment I've ever left, but cathartic for me.
    Sally
    50's
    married
    Cincinnati

  37. 287
    Karl and Liz says:

    liz
    lubbock, tx
    married 40's

    2.Top 3 reasons
    a. insecurity is a peace robber
    b. insecurity keeps you in a box unable to use your talents and skills for the Lord
    c. God did not create me to be insecure!

    3. Trigger…
    we are “middle class” and I have a sweet friend who is "upper middle class" the other morning at coffee she commented on my earrings and necklace (precious gift from my husband for Christmas and Valentines) She mentioned (innocently) her teenage son had bought the same set for his high school girlfriend.
    Before that comment would have triggered all kinds of crazy thoughts regarding my worth, our financial situation, her finances, me wearing "teenage" jewelry etc.. but doing this study and being aware that insecurity is a BAD friend, I decided to take the comment for what it's worth…a comment about jewelry! liberating…….

  38. 288
    T says:

    Thanks for being here. I was down last night with the issues in my life but felt better after having been here. God is good and He is so faithful!

    Go and enjoy this beautiful day he created for us.

    40 single mom Panhandle of NE

  39. 289
    God's girl 68 says:

    1. What really, really hit home for me in Ch 7 was the overcompensation/overcommunication things. Boy, oh, Boy have I ever overcompensated and overcommunicated when insecurity takes over my life. The overcommunication screams insecurity and makes me look like an idiot. I was also touched by insecurity turning me into a liar. I am honest by nature but will stretch or hide the truth in a split second to make myself look better in efforts to cover insecurity.

    2. A. I am sick and tired of acting/looking like an idiot for the sake of insecurity.
    B. I want to be a living example of a secure in Christ woman for my daughter,for the female friends of my teenage sons and for my girlfriends. Reading your book has shown me how insecure most all women are. I am recommending it to all my friends. Funny, most don't want to touch it out of fear of what they'll face.
    C.I want to grow-up in God and live a life that glorifies God. My insecurity does not bring God glory. It shows my lack of trust in Him. OUCH!

    3. I was hit by a trigger last night. At a small party hosted by a dear friend, I ran into a professional enemy, a man at that. He is an attorney. I do some expert witnessing. We are on opposite sides of an issue. He has drug me through the coals, chewed me up & spit me out, and personally attacked me to make his cases. The sight of him made me sick to my stomach. I kid you not. I felt belittled and started reliving past interactions. What I've learned from our walk together kicked in and helped me regain my sense of security in Christ. Ironically, he appeared insecure. Seeing me seemed to freak him out. He actually apologized for his behavior in our past interactions and wanted assurance from me that I understood his behavior wasn't personal. He was just trying to win cases and his attack/bullying nature is his professional shtick. I responded in a secure manner. If this had happened just a few weeks ago, I'd have either hidden from the man all night or feigned (I won't pretty it up. I'd have lied) illness or something to remove myself from the situation.
    4. Dignity is KNOWING and LIVING the truth that I am God's beloved and precious daughter. I am wholly and completely loved, accepted and sustained by the Creator of the Universe.

  40. 290
    Beth says:

    Way to go, Liz from Lubbock! That's what it's going to take right there!

  41. 291
    Beth says:

    To anonymous, learning to play the piano with all the children, YOU ARE A STUD. Do it and enjoy it! Somehow I can imagine Jesus grinning really big wide it.

  42. 292
    Anonymous says:

    Chapter 7 – pg. 135…for years I lied just to be heard because I was so afraid of not being heard. I never in a million years tied it in with my insecurity…I assumed it was hereditary and maybe that is still true to some degree…aren't in fact our insecurities handed down if we don't allow God to deal with them?

    Reason enough to deal with my insecurity:
    a) Insecurity is costing me… A LOT! (relationships, peace, promotion, ministry opportunities)
    b)My insecurity effects those I love. I want my secuirty to effect them instead.
    c)FREEDOM!!! Want to experience…I believed my God over this stronghold!

    Chapter 8 – trigger
    Which one? Just this week! Praise God the trigger was not pulled…face booking, tweeting, blogging, texting, etc. all make this 50 year old a bit nervous and yes, insecure, so I don’t participate. If not for LPM I wouldn’t be blogging…but one thing I know is this site is anointed and so much healing has taken place in my life through Beth being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ Himself for me…thank you Beth, to GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

    Page 146 hit home with me for my daughter, it broke my heart to think of the times I have done this and at the same time proud that she did not pull the trigger like her mom at her age would have…
    "Your mom gets that disapproving look on her face over how you parent her grandchildren." I will forever from this day forth be aware of my facial expressions and body language…

    Dignity: When I live in such a way that other women see Jesus and know that they have to have Him for them self.

  43. 293
    Shawna says:

    1. The point that hit home to me in Chapt 7 was the universal issue of the insecurity and the crazy way that it robs us of so many things while lying to us that it is keeping us "in control".

    2. The top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurity
    a. As a single woman – remaining insecure is an offense to my Husband… : ) Who loves me more than I can ever imagine and has it all taken care of anyway.

    b. To provide a Godly example for all the young women that God has blessed me with in my life

    c. It is singly perhaps the biggest energy drain, destructive and waste of time activity in my life.

    3. Well, believe it or not, the last thing that triggered my insecurity was your book itself Beth. As a single 37 year old woman, who isn't dating – and actually grew up with 3 older brothers – I certainly do have some insecurities as it relates to men, but not to the degree that most of my female friends do. As I have been reading the book (on the last chapter now) — so so many of the examples had to do with how to work through insecurities with "your man" — and after about 3/4 of the way through the book – I started to feel like less of a woman as I didn't have the same insecurities that most of the women quoted there have – since I am not really worried about "losing my man", or what he is thinking – since I don't have one to begin with. After growing up with so many brothers, I'm pretty accurate most of the time figuring out what guys are thinking anyway, so don't waste too much emotion – when I know that strange look in his eye, was actually over a flashback he was having on a bass fishing show, and had nothing to do with something his gal friend said. : )

    4. Dignity to me means, walking in the identity of who God made me to be. I am my Beloveds and my Beloved is mine.

    Shawna
    37 single
    Washington

  44. 294
    Fonda says:

    I just realized that my insecurity comes from me looking to others to see a reflection of MYSELF. And your video post reminded me that I should be looking at the scriptures. But I don't want to look at the scriptures because I will NEVER measure up. so I look at people because some will always be better but some will always be worse and I will be able to say, "Well, I'm better than that." Stupid, I know…but honest.
    Fonda
    MO
    34 years old

  45. 295
    Sandy says:

    Sandy
    Winkler, MB Canada
    40's

    Good morning Beth and all commenters!
    I guess what hit me the most is just how much insecurity robs us of joy,peace, and our God given talents. It is such an utterly defeating emotion.
    Question 2:
    A-I feel like I am disappointing God. He made me exactly who I am. Who am I to hinder him or try to change it?
    B-I want to feel free to be who I am.
    C-I am so done worrying about things that just don't matter.
    Question 3: I just started working at a fsst-food restraunt after 11 years of an office job. A few people have come in and made comments about this job being beneath me. Did I let it get to me? This time, no. They come there and expect to be waited on. Who has the problem?
    Question 4: Dignity to me means not being ashamed of who I am, what I do for a living, what kind of home or car I have. I am God's child. This is the life that He has planned for me, and I am totally okay with that.

  46. 296
    Small but Sure says:

    Today my Scrips were from Psalm 146. A word of encouragement to all
    my siesta's.

    They spoke to the very issue of alot of my past insecurties.
    vs 3. Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men who cannot
    save.
    4. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.
    5. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God,
    6.the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them- the LORD who remains faithful forever.
    7. He upholds the cause of the
    oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets the prisoners free,
    8. the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are
    bowed down, the LORD loves the
    righteous.

    Our society has us looking for our
    Prince Charmings or other things the world has to offer, to fulfill the
    biggest security need of all, "To
    live happily ever after". Lying to
    us that security lies in that.

    Our hope is in God Alone, He upholds the insecure,(vs7), He gives us His truths to fill our
    empty souls(vs 7),He sets us free
    from this bondage of insecurity(vs7), He gives us sight to see His
    truths,(vs8), When we bow down before Him and lay all our insecurities before Him, He lifts us up(v8) We are righteous, and He
    loves us(v8)
    The LORD reigns forever!!!!(v10) And we will reign with Him.
    Now THAT is happily ever after!!!

    vs 1. Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul. 2. I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

  47. 297
    MMMom says:

    1) I actually answered this one in my earlier post. I used to feel so alone in my insecurity.

    2) Top 3 reasons to change:

    a) My two beautiful daughters ages 19 & 16. I want to be an example of a secure woman. Who feels good about herself and who can relate well with others and handle difficult (or perceived as difficult) situations with dignity. I see a little of me in both my girls and don't want them to go through what I have gone through.

    b) I want to be secure for my husband. Our relationship has grown so much in the 20 years we've been married but it didn't start out as great. Many of our "issues", I can see now, were because of my insecurity.

    c) I want to be more approachable. I can so relate to the pastor's wife (pg 130). God knew I needed to see that entry. It's difficult to be shy, feel like you have nothing worthy of saying and then be considered a snob. Very painful.

    3) A recent incident I handled better than usual. I went to lunch with my girls and when we walked in the restaurant I saw two of my friends having lunch. I immediately felt left out and hurt. Why does life continue to feel like 1st grade on the playground? Anyway, I normally would have been sarcastically funny, mildly trying to make them feel bad so they could know that they hurt me by not including me. But I didn't this time. We all chatted a few minutes then I had a beautiful lunch with my girls and had lunch the next week with my friends. I can't wait for God to release me from having the initial reaction.

    4) Dignity to me is when I come to the place when I can act like God would want me to act. When I act with the assurance of Christ, with complete humility, without self condemnation, judgement or desperation.

    Praise God I can do all things through Christ who give me strength! I'm Believing God.

    Sharon
    San Antonio
    40's
    married

  48. 298
    Beth Willis Miller says:

    beth
    florida
    married
    50s
    1. because I am adopted, this quote from Chapter 7 resonated with me…“I was adopted and had the best parents ever…my parents always told me how much I was loved and wanted, but I let insecurity make me feel like I was not good enough. I mean, how could a mother not want and love her child? Something had to be wrong with me…one day I was walking and talking to God, and He made it clear to me that He loved me and I was placed where He wanted me. That He had chosen my parents before I was even conceived!…I can look back now and see so many areas that Satan used with that insecurity…” almost word-for-word, that has been my experience also…
    2. a. my past—I want to look back and see how God has been there all along with me.
    b. my present—I want to live each day believing that God has a plan, a hope, and a future for me.
    c. my future—from this day forward, I want to keep tearing down Satan’s lies about who I am, and re-wallpaper my mind with the truth that in Christ, I am blessed, accepted, twice adopted, chosen, redeemed, forgiven, and loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms.
    3. this week a trigger of insecurity came in the form of a phone call from a co-worker in which she brought up a humiliating experience of rejection that happened to me at work. Although I didn’t let her know it had triggered all those memories of rejection, I found myself crying on and off all day…then I realized that my Savior was waiting for me to, once again, cast all my cares upon Him because He cares for me.
    4. I love that Scripture from Chapter 8…SHE. IS. CLOTHED. WITH. STRENGTH. AND. DIGNITY… Dignity means that once again this morning, I have been to the Cross of Jesus Christ, once again, looked up to his nail-pierced brow, and experienced His Blood cover my heart, and once again, I get up off my knees and wear His Robe of Righteousness.

  49. 299
    FloridaLizzie says:

    Liz 40s married

    This book is awesome! It's going to go down in my life as one of the biggest life-changing books I have ever read. I've had some great light bulb moments this week.

    1. The section on pg. 122 hit home with me: "Insecurity and all its attending emotional unhealthiness can cause us to embrace people who abuse us…Let me be blunt: security means we know a jerk when we see one and know a crime when we experience one."
    This hit home with me because I'm in a job search and just had my first job interview in many years. In my last job, I worked for a guy who seemed great at first, but who I found out was a real mess. I felt thankful when the job ended, because his crazy abusive marriage and critical attitudes simply fed my insecurity. So after I interviewed this week, something inside (God) said to me, the boss interviewing me would also be a critical, negative, demanding joyless jerk. I needed to run from this job opportunity! I want healing, not another unhealthy job experience! Beth's words on the page made me realize this is not the right job for me. I can trust God for something better.

    2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurity now!
    A. God used these last chapters to help me realize that the main things that drew my husband and me together 25 years ago were Christ and common roots of insecurity! Whenever one of us has wanted to get well, it drew us apart, not together. My husband is having a crisis at work, and is finally in counseling, and says I can go with him to work on us soon. I think God brought me this book right now to help us heal our relationship.

    B. I don't want to pass this legacy of insecurity on to anyone else in our whole family anymore. I want it over and buried. Our son is in college, and I don't want him to marry a girl he is attracted to because of common roots of insecurity and dysfunction. I want God to use what I'm learning to help others on their journey.

    C. I'm praying for the right job for me now, and don't want to be anywhere but where God wants me. It makes no sense not to run from a place filled with poisonous people. I know better now. Yep, God's timing is perfect.

    4. Dignity is God-given. It means I am worthy of respect and honor because I am who GOD says I am!

  50. 300
    [email protected] Journey says:

    1) "Insecurity can be a relentless robber!" There were a couple of specific areas that I could relate to (I had to do a double take on one to remember if I wrote it or not!), but overall I have let insecurity rob me of relationships, good times, my best performance, fun with my man, time with my extended family…

    2)a) It has stolen enough!
    b)I have too important of a job as a mom to be insecure and feel weak and like a failure much of the time.
    c)God has something planned for me and insecurity won't get me there!

    3)Today–because of my husbands new position, he is on the chamber of commerce board of directors. Today is a big banquet, and I don't know anyone. I don't know what to wear, will I say something stupid, will I give the wrong impression…those thoughts are beginning, BUT my God says I'm clothed with strength and diginity, so I'm good!

    4)I am in the middle of Kelly Minter's study on Ruth. I woke up and did that homework, then read chapter 8 in SLI. In Ruth we were studying that verse that talks about Ruth putting on new clothes and going to the threshing floor. Those new clothes are significant and Kelly pointed out that maybe it is time to put off old worn out clothes and move on because God has something new. THEN I picked up SLI to read, "She is clothed with strength and dignity." It wasn't until Beth read it slowly…"She. Is. Clothed." that I got it. My new clothes are strength and dignity! My God is so sweet! The start of our Bible study was postponed 2 weeks because of snow, so that I would read those two separate lessons on the same day! Dignity to me is being confident in who God made me.

    Beth, I cannot thank you enough for being faithful to what God called you to do in this work. I will not be the same!
    Shelly
    Texas
    30's
    married

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So Long Insecurity Week Four!

So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.

Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we’re walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. “KB” posted a comment last night saying, “Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we’re studying??” Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn’t limited to the West.

I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I’ve been in women’s ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can’t let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.

We have the God-given right to be secure.

In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can’t make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn’t be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.

If you’re able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It’s a rough cut if you’ll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We’ve got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let’s talk about Chapter Seven first.

You’ve heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question – Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? – and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it’s hard to read at times but, unless you’re hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we’ve got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it’s the lengthiest chapter in the book. It’s meant to hammer a point till you’re practically screaming:

THAT’S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I’M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.

As long as you come to that conclusion, you don’t have to read the whole chapter if it’s above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you’re having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we’d ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you’re going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let’s rise up.

OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I’m giving you four this time around you’re welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?

2. (If you’re choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it’s time to deal with your insecurity. (We’re not looking for right answers. We’re looking for YOUR answers. Don’t copy off your fellow sojourners’ papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don’t get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.

3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.

4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?

You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.

You are loved here!

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Comments:

  1. 301
    Siesta Mary from MN says:

    My weight has kept me from saying yes to so many things and just staying inside shutting out the rest of the world. Being a woman of strength and dignity to me would be being able to walk in to any place with my head held high not caring about what anyone thought and the love and the humility of Jesus emenating from my face.

  2. 302
    Mariah says:

    I left a comment earlier, but I guess it didn't get posted…I just wanted to say something to Beth:

    You how you said you would hope us ladies would think you're at least cute?

    Well, when I see your texas blonde hair and boppity personailty all I can think of is:

    A cute, little face conspicuously hiding a "chubby-bunny" mouthful of chocolate truffles(with a little risidue around the lips)…LOL, I don't mean that at all in a bad way, you're cheeks aren't chubby!!! it's the whole cute, sweet personality thing coming out in you.

  3. 303
    Robin says:

    Oh sweet Beth, how I wish we were having coffee somewhere and talking right now. I don't struggle much with security, but this week has been an extremely difficult one for me. I have found myself doubting so many things about me and friendships I have. Just about ready to give up and let the insecurity win and just about ready to give up on the journey of reading the book. When I saw your video of the person who said she felt raw I can so identify. I hope and pray that I can stay the course here and push through. So so sad at this particular time. Praying that Christ will grow me through this and I will be stronger. All this sounds pretty pathetic huh? I will be on my knees praying this week for God to move in my heart.

  4. 304
    Retta says:

    I too have finished the book and felt the same way… but for me at least, it was like the initial reaction… since then I have digested some of it and each day I feel stronger in relying on my new-found, God-given security… Thanks again Beth for your faithfulness to God and us. I loved the video btw always a presure to see and hear you. And we love you back*wink*.

  5. 305
    PrincessTrish says:

    Tricia, 37, married
    Ohio

    1. The part about insecurity involving men resonated the most with me. One quote in particular just threw me back to a horrible time I try to forget about,rather than deal with and get over. Healing can be so difficult, but I know with Jesus it can happen. (Have to admit I also had to giggle that I'm not the only one with drive-thru and public restroom issues, too!)

    2.A. Insecurity robs me and my family of happiness.
    B. It keeps me from living fully.
    C. Insecurity prevents me from doing things that I clearly hear God calling me to do, because I don't want to mess up.

    3. Recent trigger? Husband just turned 40 and has had some trouble with it. He's been less open than usual and more introspective in general. I have been trying not to make this about me, because it's not. (So yes, sometimes it gets a rise, but not as much as it usually would…I'm working on it.)

    4. Dignity to me is the God-given worth we have as human beings.

  6. 306
    The Coleman Family says:

    To Anonymous at 4:57 am:
    I can't speak for anyone else, but as for my situation insecurity had been apart of my entire life. I honestly believe it was a way for Satan to rob me of God's glorious plan for my life. I've hated it forever. I've never been able to change it on my own, I've tried. I couldn't fight Satan on my own, he's much to powerful for me. It wasn't until I gave it over to God, let Him fight this battle for me, did the steps in the book, that I received complete healing from God. There's NO WAY I could be insecure one day and then secure the next without the deliverance of God. I literally felt like I was in bondage to it. There is no doubt in my mind that God healed me and I thank Him every day. I pray that you too will receive the same healing that I did.

    Tamara
    Highlands Ranch, CO
    30's
    Married

  7. 307
    Anonymous says:

    I couldn't disagree more with earlier post that we are sounding too down.

    WE ARE FINALLY BE HONEST!!!!! OMG we AREN'T perfect and have some major baggage. So long insecutiy and bye bye fakeness. I'm ready to call this destructive disease what it is and ADMIT I have it. But sisters, I'm climbing out of it. Once you get to the middle of this book and get on your knees to take on the battle on front lines, the book moooooooooves, the Spirit of God moooooooooooves, revelation starts coming quickly and the sweet smell of freedom is getting closer. I say we spill it here. The hurts, disappointments whatever happened that just really hurt. Because just like an addiction – it starts healing over once it's out there for all it is. Suddenly the deepest, most embarrassing drop gets into the light!!! Sweet Jesus please make a miracle out of us!

    Lisa
    Magnolia
    45

  8. 308
    Anonymous says:

    I was just thinking about you the other day when I went into a "group class" of people wanting to learn to play piano. There were 8 of us…they were of the following ages: 6,8,8,9,10,11,12 and 45. I'll let you guess which one of us was 45!!! I almost died, but I did NOT let the "insecurity" get to me. Thanks for that!

  9. 309
    Sandy says:

    Durant, OK
    40's
    Married

    First, I want to tell you a story that I think you will all like, if I can word it just right. . .

    My almost 17 year old son had listened with me, in the car to Ch. 7.
    Then, the other night, he told my husband,
    "Even Beth Moore has. . ."
    My husband and I both corrected him. Then I realized that he had heard her reading someone else's story in Ch. 7.
    I was quickly setting him straight, and he said something about me being in the "Beth Moore Woman club". I told him it was called "Siestas".

    I have listened to the whole book and am listening to it over & over.
    I just won a different Beth Moore audio set from Longmeado Mama. I am excited!

    I'll come back to answer the questions.

  10. 310
    MOMOF3GOGOGO says:

    Monica
    40
    Ohio
    I have been working on my emotional stability/growth for over 10 years, seriously. I have done BSF, all of Beth's bible studies as well as some others and been involved in great church families. I KNOW that God loves me and I KNOW that I am going to be with him in heaven one day. I KNOW that I am washed whiter than snow. Those things are easy for me. What I don't know is WHAT is going to happen tomorrow. WHEN will the next "bomb" drop. HOW will we deal with x, y or z when the time comes. I have faith in God; but I have less faith in my humanness. I want to be a secure person in all areas. I want to be a woman of dignity. I want to teach this to my daughters; and I want my children to NOT have to deal with insecurities like I do. I want my son to feel confident so that he can slay dragons one day. I want my GREAT husband and I to grow old together in a joyful way all the way to the end.

    My trigger is when I feel out of control in an area..that is when I tend to lose my dignity. I want security and stability and when it feels like the ship is rockin, I want to be the captain and sail it to calm waters. That is when I am not the best mom or the best wife. I get bossier and hateful, unbearable at times. Sometimes I can catch myself and other times it doesn't go so well. I have lots of "sorries" to say.

    Dignity is respect. I want to be respecting of myself and definitely of my husband and children. They are the most important people to me; and when my trigger is set, I hurt them the most, just to feel "in control." It's a shame, really.
    The days that I catch myself and stop the madness are great days of victory where the devil did not get a foothold on me. I feel like my life has that dignity and that is when I feel more powerful. So, why don't I embrace that more? Impulse..Anxiety..Insanity. God help me!

  11. 311
    April says:

    THANK YOU BETH FOR COMMENTING ON MY POST!

    I am currently doing Breaking Free – and in April I am going to your conference for So Long Insecurity in Woodstock GA. I turn 30 the very next weekend. I am going to claim this right now…. I am leaving all this junk behind. . . bring it on 30 I'm going to be a brand new woman!!!

    I love you Beth!

    April, 29
    Williamson GA
    married

  12. 312
    Christy says:

    1. The part of Chapter 7 that hit home to me was about how our insecurities will lead us to accept and endure such foolishness and abuse and we believe we deserve it or that we simply aren't "good enough" to deserve better. This is only a very small example of the relationship that I'm thinking about (remembering with horror) but I am a proud Southern woman. I dated a man who told me, as we were on the way to meet his friends up north, that I had better do something about my Southern accent or everybody there would think that I was a ignorant and dumb. You know the crazy thing? I got to the party and one of the older guests kept asking me was I SURE I was from Georgia, because I didn't have any accent at all??? Yes, apparently I was so insecure with myself that I actually spoke in a different tone and pattern and spent an entire night sounding like another person. I didn't even know I was doing it. It wasn't deliberate. It was the foolish response to a person who gave me just enough love and attention to keep me motivated to take the mean-ness and lack of attention that was normally dished out.

    2. Why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
    A. I am raising a daughter. Enough said.
    B. I am tired of being so afraid of the women in my Sunday School class and in church who look like they have it all together, that I fail to worship and definitely hold back in sharing because I don't want them to think I'm a total loser.
    C. My husband's career is really taking off, and we both firmly believe that it is God's plan and His doing that are making so many things happen. But because of my insecurity and fears, I have never gone to listen to him speak in any groups and I am afraid to meet his friends and associates when he travels because I don't think I'm exciting enough or look good enough or any other "enoughs" that I want to put myself out there.

    3. I am currently working on overcoming an insecurity of being with new people. Today, I finally made the call to a lady in our church who is teaching a Bible study group that starts next week. I know that it would help me to get to know more women in our church, and the subject matter is pertinent to my life (raising children) but I have really been nervous about this. Finally, I just decided to trust that God had given me the chance to enter this group for His good reasons, and that I was just going to do it. Don't worry about it. Don't obsess about it. Don't worry that I won't know everybody in the room or whether or not they will like me or think I have any sense at all. Just go do the thing. Stop letting satan rob me of growth and happiness and joy in my home church because I'm afraid I'm not up to par socially or any other way with the rest of the congregation.

    4. To me, dignity would mean to be able to walk into a room full of strangers, head held high, looking people in the eyes, wearing a smile on my face, being able to breathe while doing all of this, and all the time knowing that I am a precious daughter of God who is loved and cherished by the One who not only knows who I am, but who made me who I am. Can you even imagine such a feeling?

  13. 313
    Country Fried says:

    Country Fried
    30s
    Lubbock (for now but moving soon)

    Top 3 reasons to deal with it:

    A) So that I can finally once and for all accept that I will never be able to be loved by god because of what I was born into and raised in. I tell myself over and over that I'm okay with it but secretly deep down inside I'm not okay with it. It's a daily struggle to fight against the desire to want to learn about your god and to ask questions but at the same time being so afraid of what I was taught would happen if I turned away from the religion I was raised in.

    B) To be able to be free to discover who I am and not feel like I'm being judged all the time. Although only my best friend knows how I was raised, I always feel like other people can "see" it in me. She lovingly reassures me that no one sees me any differently than anybody else. Just my own insecurity of being raised so differently.

    C) To be able to give more of myself through nursing so that I can help more people.

    3) My insecurity is triggered almost on a daily basis in my area of nursing because a lot of my patients are dealing with life and death issues. Therefore many of them talk about their religion on a daily basis and do that prayer thing. I always feel SO uncomfortable and incredibly dumb because I don't understand this god stuff. So I try to be there for them but also try to graciously slip away.

  14. 314
    Tami says:

    Dear Anonymous 9:55 AM,

    I'm praying for you, and I know your healing is coming! You want freedom so badly you can almost taste it!

    He rewards those who diligently seek Him.

  15. 315
    Anonymous says:

    1. What spoke to me in Ch. 7?

    THE GOAL: To see the price we're paying when we don't deal with our insecurities & when left unchecked & unhealed it makes idiots out of us over & over.

    Also, how we desparately need to learn a different response when we're tempted to panic & overcommunicate with people. LOVE the Proverb= "Better to stay quiet & be thought a fool than to speak rashly & remove all doubt."
    Hating the times insecurity has caused you to do the "ugly cry"

    2.)Based on my journey so far my personal top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities

    A. Sick of my OVERsensitive,fragile,vulnerable,unhealthy emotions, that have caused me to do the "ugly cry" one too many times more than necessary. And caused me to act on it instead of deliberately choosing not to act on that insecurity (Don't get me wrong, a good "ugly cry" has been the best thing for my soul @ times, as long as my good sense & sound thinking hasn't flown out the window with it. lol!)

    B.Ready for some Godly Whole Transparent relationships!

    C.Ready to live with JOY an abundant, effective, Spirit-filled life God has planned for me!

    3.) Triggers….HMMM! Let's just say more that three on the list applied directly to me (pg.146, 149) & have definately caused my unhealthy emotions & good thinking to long be gone!

    4.)Dignity to me=
    God crowned honor, God himself gave me & wrapped around my mind

    A woman who Self controlled making deliberate choices about what she says based on her priorities. A woman whose personality is not changed by circumstances, but exhibits GRACE under all kinds of challenges. A woman who knows who she is in Christ & chooses to act in ways consistent of her high calling as a child of God instead of allowing her emotions to rule. A woman clothed with the strength of Christ & His Gracious Spirit. <3

    Colossians 3:12

    Monica
    Hicksille, NY.
    1 year shy of 40's ;o)

  16. 316
    3boymom says:

    I loved your encouraging in the video – I for one needed that and am thankful I am dealing with these issues with like-minded friends.

    I read every story in Chapter 7 and it only encouraged me to stand firm and fight this thing instead of doing what the enemy wants and too easily gets from me, discouragement and depression. I related to insecurity being a robber. I look back at several friendships that were shattered because of my insecurity. It is a deep root in me. I can remember as a little girl looking out my bedroom window while I was lying in bed at night and wishing with all I could wish (did not know to pray) that I could somehow trade place with my neighbor, Angie. She was all I wanted to be beautiful, popular, had 2 parents that loved her and did not fight all the time like mine and her mom stayed home and actually mended her Barbie clothes! It was the start of a deep seed of envy that the enemy deceived me with.
    2. My reasons to deal with insecurity – to be free and not let the enemy have a hold on me or on our marriage and my friendships anymore. To be a Godly example to my three boys that I homeschool.
    3. Recent trigger – a certain friend that brings out a lot of insecurity in me came back into my life. I'm ashamed to say it affects our friendship and I honestly don't want it to. She is beautiful which triggers one insecurity, but her marriage is the biggest trigger, it's what I want our to be someday. 4. Dignity means to me to see myself as worthy because of Jesus in me and to not let fear, and insecurity rob me and deceive me into believing the lie. I so want to be free and unbound from all the bondages so I can be secure in who I am in HIM. So that I can be a Godly wife, mom, teacher, and friend.

    Thanks for encouraging us all to press on!!!

    Karen in AZ
    married in her 40's

  17. 317
    T says:

    Sorry this late…
    ch 5
    Instability in the home…I grew up in a single parent household; never knew my natural father as he made that choice to not be a part of my life until I turned 25. My mom was great and despite her own insecurities she did her best to give me a stable home. However, I remember my grandparents when they were drinking and mom and I hiding in our home so she didn't have to deal with them. For as much as they tore her down, they lifted me up on a pedestal for all my cousins to see. I could do no wrong in their eyes. Needless to say, that wasn't easy. So I learned to be perfect as much as one could. I have never really admitted to that. I suppose it had to do with my facial birthmark and the numerous surgeries I had growing up. That in itself can make one insecure; that is probably the real issue is the instability not in my immediate home but in the extended family unit that was our support. After all, my mom very young herself.

    Along with that goes an adult relationship with my mother that is confusing and still rooted in not letting me be an adult. I often feel like I can not please her by words or actions, even though I know she loves me dearly. I think she thinks I must be cared for; that she must do for me what no one did for her. However, I just want a healthy adult relationship with her. I miss the mom I grew up with.

    2. Rejection – rejection of my cousins and not fitting in as I grew up. Rejection from the man I fell in love with (he didn't love me) and trusted my entire self with. Being pregnant and having family members who could not deal with me not being married – after all I had "tested God" (Insecurity speaking – I only spent one night with him before he broke my hear.) Other family members who nicknamed me Mary and my son JC (Jesus Christ). Needless to say I built quite a wall around my heart in an effort to get rid of that sensitive side. I didn't want to feel anymore.

    PS My son's father is back in our lives and trying to mend things. Talk about insecure. Every conversation leaves me in a tailspin. But God is good and He is faithful!

    ch 6
    Since I read this chapter over a week ago, the issue of pride has been one I have had to pray about, search for more information and one that I need to evaluate more. When I first read this section, I didn't get it. I think I have read it 4 or 5 times now. Even went on an internet search about what the bible says about pride. This is what really stuck in my mind and made it all make sense:

    "Pride is giving ourselves the credit for something that God has accomplished. Pride is taking the glory that belongs to God alone and keeping it for ourselves."

    That hurt and this is something I am going to have to really deal with. Satan is trying to stop me with craziness. He is putting roadblocks up, but I know in my heart that this battle is already one. Praise God.

    I will learn to get my priorities straight. I must learn I can't do it All and be ALL to those I work with, my family and my Lord.

    I must ask for prayer from all of my siestas out there. I am faced with a big insecurity right now. My 86-year old grandmother is in the hospital and not doing well. I know she will be going home to see the Lord soon. This leaves so many issues and insecurities with my family. How do I mend a relationship with my mom? not feeling like I am doing everything I can, etc.. .There goes that perfectionism and trying to control it all. Thanks for your prayers.

    Now on to the next part of our journey. No looking back…..40 single mom Panhandle of NE

  18. 318
    Anonymous says:

    Katie
    Firestone, CO
    20s
    Married

    1. Realizing God knows life hurts and that He has made us resilient and with the ability to be restored!! I was very convicted by the statement "we will act like who we believe ourselves to be." My life would look much different if I acted like who I am in Christ!

    2.
    A. Reading chapters 1-8, I've realized I am WAY more insecure than I thought I was and see now it is pathetic and sad and I want to be a woman characterized by strength and dignity.

    B. I want to leave the right kind of legacy for my daughter, Grace. She is only 4, but I know she is watching and highly influenced by my example.

    C. This is one more opportunity to be "conformed to the image of Christ" and so bring Him glory by becoming more of who He wants me to be.

    3. I left a get together with friends and felt like I just didn't fit it – hair, clothes, personality, etc. When I got in the car to go home and thought about it, I realized the root problem was insecurity and while I didn't probably react the way God wanted me to, I at least saw it for what it was and can be better prepared to react the right way next time.

    4. Worthy of respect. This hit home! I assumed everyone else deserved respect… Not me!

    Beth – Thank you so much for the encouragement in the video. My life is often characterized by getting to the depressed part and quitting and never making it to deliverance! I've wondered how you and others can so passionately and persistently pursue Christ and I think what you emphasized in the video gave me the answer!

    Thank you!!

  19. 319
    Anonymous says:

    I am here tonight because I so got destroyed tonight by the enemy and my own wayward thought process. Sadly, I am too insecure to post exactly what happened in case someone that might know me would read this.

    However, when people start talking about how much the Lord loves me and how He doesn't make mistakes, etc…it is very hard for me to hear or receive. Sometimes, like tonight, it seems to make things worse. I can dismiss it too and have an entire argument in my head. Such as, "Well, HE didn't make me fat." He didn't make the decisions I made that caused x,y,or z, so He didn't make the mistake, I did. It starts an ugly spiral and I don't know how to stop it.

  20. 320
    Rockin' My Freedom says:

    1) In SLI, Beth writes, "In order to deal w/ the fact that we've been violated, sometimes, we will reframe a situation making ourselves out to be free agents who wanted it. Better to prove crass than weak." I can pinpoint a 2-year period where my promiscuity demonstrated just that. I’ve always just owned it w/ not much regret…or so I thought. I think what I’ve just gleaned is, I falsely reframed my perspective so not to give insecurity the credit. Um-hello-pride. Wow.

    2)
    A- I have a feeling of a particular purpose God has for me but at the same time, I doubt my credibility for the calling. It’s an area where I keep procrastinating because of these insecurity hang-ups. Incidentally, insecurity is “robbing my confidence & rich inheritance from God & shelving my gifts…”-SLI

    B- I’m looking for a way to defeat this issue FOR GOOD. Maybe it’s in this book? Certainly, Beth’s approach will help me find the remedy in God’s Word, not in psychological mumbo jumbo. I’ll be able to take that (the scriptures she shares) to the bank.

    C- I want to be able to say someday, “I’m proud of who I am,” and say it with God given humility. Maybe someday…is NOW.

    3) I thought I’d list something small as a reminder to watch even the littlest of areas that often depict our belief systems. –Whenever I’ve made a pot of coffee for a group, I’ve often apologized in advance if it’s too strong or too weak. When I make coffee for myself, it always tastes great to me. Stupid insecurity. –This week, I made coffee at work and gave myself a pep talk post saying, “You are clothed with strength & dignity.” I never said a word about the coffee…and neither did anyone else. Everyone just drank it. Imagine that. I’m hoping these smaller victories will lead to great ones. –Starbucks still tastes way better tho. ; )

    4) I’ll reference my answer in 2C: Saying I am proud of myself while having the respect of others…because of my unwavering security in Christ!

  21. 321
    Anonymous says:

    Hello Beth,

    I'm a lurker, but today, I break through and actually post!

    2. Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity.
    a. Before your book, I would have considered myself pretty secure. But then, right off the bat, you mentioned "rejection." And it hit me like a ton of well, insecure bricks. I am a writer and the last novel I wrote drifted quietly out onto the pond of publication…and it's still drifting. This crushes me as I spent nights, weekends, vacations writing and slaving over those 82,000 words. And it seems the world didn't care. And of course, I care that the world doesn't care.
    b. I am a working mom (not the writing; I have a day job, too.) I LOVE my job. And I have to have it. But of course, I worry that I am missing out on finger painting and snuggling. My husband tells me it's not all rainbows and kittens. And I believe him.

    3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you:
    We were at Target and the cute, teenage-ish cashier greeted my husband in a friendly manner. He's in that store at least twice a week with the kids, so it was no surprise. As I sorted the coupons and fumbled with my debit card (sexy!), I felt a jealous twang. But I formed the words I had read in this great Beth Moore book I am reading: TRUST GOD (hint: you'll get to it later). And, Mama Beth, I have to proclaim that peace rolled over me like a pure stream of God's love.

    Thank you, thank you. God bless you!

    PS Should I be insecure about this? My word verification is "Ha Loser."

    Married
    38
    Colorado USA

  22. 322
    Jen says:

    Jen (Newbie)
    26
    Nashville,TN

    2. 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities.
    1) I want to serve the Lord and I'm terrified of what people think of me and how they view me. I can't serve Him hiding in my house.
    2) Because I'm tired of feeling unworthy of love
    3) It's destroying my marriage

    3. I went to Wal-Mart (my big outing for the week) and I'm uncomfortable around people. I normally walk through the ailes and when someone passes me, I look at the floor. I don't meet people's eyes because I'm scared of what I'll see (what they think of me). This time, I held my head up, repeating over and over, "I am clothed in strength and dignity" and didn't look at the floor. I saw a very pretty woman and didn't want to run and hide. I looked at her and asked the Lord if she was insecure for Him to please help her too. It's a horrible prison to live in!

    P.S. Beth, I LOVE your CLOTHES!!! Had to tell you that 🙂

  23. 323
    Joni says:

    Anonymous said…
    I have a burning question… I have hesitated to write because I do not want to be a stumbling block to others. However, I NEED to know how to make sense in my mind how this process is GOD and more than just "mind over matter". I have been a Christian for years, I read the Word daily & pray, and I memorize Scripture. I just long to really know the "Healer" and to know it is more than my just trying hard to do what's right. Any thoughts, Siestas?

    March 5, 2010 4:57 AM

    Dear Anonymous,
    I came to know the "Healer" by surrendering my all during severe depression and panic and then by applying specific Scriptures to my specific needs as Beth taught in Believing God and Breaking Free. The more I read those verses and prayed those verses, the more empowered I felt in my spirit. The more empowered I felt, the better my depression became and the better my depression became, the more enabled I was to love God and depend on Him. The more He helped me in the day-to-day details of life, the more I sensed His presence. My mind was renewed and my spirit reborn. Before that I had spent 2 years trying everything I knew to do to get better–self-help tapes, positive-thinking tapes, self-help books and relaxation cds. If mind over matter could've healed me, I gave my mind plenty of opportunity. But nothing worked. Nothing. Until I cried out to Jesus for help and began filling my tortured mind with His healing Word. I placed myself in God's hands, and He took it from there.

  24. 324
    mollyepetrey says:

    Molly
    20s
    Single
    NC
    Well, this book is continuing to kick my tail, and I can sense God is up to something great! Now, onto the questions!

    I think capter 7 reminded me that I'm not the only one struggling with insecurity. I could relate to so many of the other women in this chapter. It really made me open my eyes to the women around me and start praying for them more.

    I want to deal with my insecurity because:
    A. I am sick and tired of not living the way God wants me to live. I've been paralyzed too long by this, and I've had it. I am willing to do everything He tells me to to get rid of this.
    B. I am the aunt to 5 precious little girls, I want them to look at me and know what a secure woman is like. I want them to know that God can give you security, and insecurity is not His will for our lives.
    C. I work with middle-school girls, and I see it everyday. Sad thing is when I'm counseling them, I might as well be counseling myself. I want them to know what a secure woman who is clothed with strength and dignity looks like.

    Question #8 really hit home this week. Does anyone else feel like the feeling of insecurity has been turned up a notch? It's almost as if the enemy is sensing that I'm breaking free from this junk, and is doing everything to keep me staying this way. Well, I feel that I won the battle with my latest bought of insecurity! Just this past Sunday I was scheduled to sing on the praise team at my church. I was wearing (what I thought to be) a somewhat cute outfit, when I suddenly caught a look of myself in the full length bathroom mirror. Needless to say, I didn't like what I saw. I started naming everything wrong with my outfit, my make-up, my general appearance…and I knew that a full-blown insecurity attack was on its way. However, I was armed against it this time 🙂 I looked at myself and said "Molly, you are CLOTHED with strength and dignity!" I said it four times, and suddenly the feeling of insecurity left! I was able to stand on the stage, and worship God without the insecurity lurking in the back of my mind. God is good!

  25. 325
    Joy V says:

    Feeling secure enough to post for the first time…even though my heart is racing.

    1. Realize my over the top response to things where I try to over help or give tmi is just me trying to "prove myself" to cover my insecurity at that moment.
    2. A. My 21 and 27 year old daughters. B. I have some really great girlfriends right now who know me and normally would be a good time to "run". C. My first successfull marriage after 2 failed ones.
    3. Husband promotion….insecurity of he will find someone more like him at work then I was like heck no he wont he really loves me !
    4.Dignity to me is not beating myself up anymore over the stupidness of my past which this book has already given me God validation of the reason for my insecurity which stems back to when I was 6.

    THANK YOU GOD!

  26. 326
    phillipsgirl says:

    Lanaya
    Jacksonville, FL
    30 yrs old; married 10 years

    1. What hit home: The fact that I've seen women act this way and instead of understanding and empathizing with them, I've judged and felt superior or thought they were snobby or wretched. I've been the enemy instead of the helper ~ at least in my mind.

    2. Why it's time to deal:
    A. I want to be a godly woman who grows old gracefully and people can see character in me instead of "wow, she really looks young/ she keeps herself up/ I wish I could be like her." I want women to be comfortable around me and be a help to them.
    B. I'm tired of wasting time on jealousy and comparisons and trying to look a certain way to get attention. There is no satisfaction from it ~ the fleeting satisfaction is not even worth it anymore.
    C. I want to know my intrinsic worth instead of trying to get it from my husband and others. My feelings/attitude are so often determined by how others feel about me. A roller coaster of a life.

    3. Just yesterday, my husband was a little short with me about something I hadn't done yet that he thought I was going to take care of. I took care of it, but then felt lowly, ugly, depressed. He had already apologized for being short, but I thought he was mad still. He wasn't ~ just quietly working on something. Until he started joking with me again, I just didn't feel good about myself. So I guess it did get a rise out of me. Although I was working hard to talk myself out of it.

    4. Dignity gives me a picture of a woman who because she knows she is right with her God, she stands tall with her head high no matter what others are saying around her. I think of Melanie from "Gone with the Wind". Scarlett had kissed her husband and when she showed up at Melanie's house, Melanie was gracious and forgiving in front of everyone.

  27. 327
    Erin says:

    Erin
    20's
    Engaged
    Stephens City,VA

    1. My top three reasons I know it's time to deal with this insecurity…
    A. When my fiance and I have a family someday, I don't want to pass on this insecurity baggage to my future daughter. I want her to be able to look at her mom and see a woman secure in her Savior and how He made her. And I want that for her, already, even though she's not even here yet.

    b. I'm tired of it. As simple as that. I want to be free of it.

    c. I want to be the godly woman God has called me to be. And insecurity has no place in that.

    2. What does dignity mean to me?
    When I hear the word 'dignity', I think of a dear, precious friend our family just lost. She died last week at the age of 95 due to cancer that had metastized to the brain. I think of dignity signifying being a lady. A secure lady in His eyes.

  28. 328
    much2ponder says:

    Just found this site today so I have not purchased the book yet. I have seen it though and have not thought of myself as insecure, but for some reason I feel it wild be valuable to own and read this book so I will look for it today 😉 I then will be outside of the loop as I already am and try to read through it as quickly as possible to catch up. Thank you so much for all you do for women everywhere. Blessings.

  29. 329
    Edna says:

    1. What part of chapter 7 hit home the most?

    The discussions about the insecurity and jealousy in friendship. That is what I have struggled with the most. It doesn't occur with everyone, though, but. . . Even with some friends at my work, I worry if they like someone else better. I often have the feeling of trying to do it all right so that I will be picked & "secure". Also sometimes worrying over how I am acting toward my friends–is it too much? Is it not enough?

    2. Top 3 reasons that I need to deal with insecurity:

    A) I want the abundant life that I'm promised!
    B) I don't want to live in fear & bondage
    C) I want OUT of the control seat and to be able to relax, let my guard down, and just be who I am without worrying about it.

    3. Recent trigger of insecurity and did I bite?
    Incident with a friend that I'm not as close to as I once was (b/c of co-dependency junk)and seeing her being all huggy and encouraging to all these other people. . . I did bite, in that I was very crabby and sensitive the rest of the day :-(.

    4. What does dignity mean to me?
    Worth, value, self-respect, security, control (of my emotions?)

    I'm very intrigued by this idea of seeing ourselves as always covered by Jesus and what that could mean day to day. . . I don't think I "get" it yet.

    40's (barely)
    Single
    O'Fallon, MO

  30. 330
    Anonymous says:

    1. Need to deal with my insecurites b/c I'm tired of it dictating my mood.

    2. I have found that my mood for the entire day can be dictated by either the scale or someone's comment. If I weigh and the scale is my "low" weight, then I'm in a good mood. If it's a couple of pounds higher – bad mood.

    Monica
    Mississippi
    Age 38

  31. 331
    Lindsey says:

    Sweet Beth,
    I just finished ch. 7 and bawled my eyes out. Please know…it was a good cry…the kind of cry that comes after realizing just how much my Savior longs to be my Abba. I so need to hear that Jesus takes pride in saying, "Look, look, everybody! This is My child!" I can't wait until the day when I will have physical access to His lap. There are sometimes days when I just need my "Daddy."

  32. 332
    Anonymous says:

    I know I write this every time I comment, but thank you for this book! God is using it to recreate me and I can't wait to be healed!

    1) Insecurity can make me give the wrong impression and twist my perceptions.

    2) Top 3 reasons:

    a) So I can stop considering what other people think when I'm making a decision

    b) So I can be free to be more compassionate, loving and open with the women in my life, instead of being guarded.

    c) So I don't have to feel afraid of being judged anymore!

    3) Chapter 8 in my book is covered in yellow highlighter so I can remind myself of the goal and purpose of this journey. A couple weeks ago I went to a party by myself thrown by one of my close friends. When I got the evite I was at first happy and excited for her and then when I looked at her guest list, I became anxious. She had invited more than 100 people. First, I'm not great in large groups. Second, some of the people on the list have triggered insecurity in me after other events. One of two things usually happens, either I'm a wall flower or I find myself engaged in an awkward, shallow conversation pretending to be interested. Either way, I usually end up feeling lousy later. The party was important because it was a thank you party for the people who helped my friend during her battle with cancer. I went to support her and left thinking about two women who made offhanded comments that left me wondering. The good news is, it didn't bother me as much as it would have before this journey. The bad news is, I still have a long way to go. I want to be free!!

    4) Dignity for me means allowing God to fill me with his love so that I can love and accept all people for who they are. Without him I have a "vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival". I've read ahead and that quote struck me. I don't like that about myself, but I know I do it and it does NOT bring me dignity!! I want to be clothed in strength and dignity!!!!

    Dena
    39
    Glen Ellyn, IL

  33. 333
    Anonymous says:

    I read this post Thursday, but didn't watch the video until today. I am so mad at my husband right now and I just wanted to thank you for doing the video and saying "Listen here." My dear aunt, who passed away years ago, used to say it just like you did. Hearing it made me feel so much better. Now I'm going to go pray for my husband.

  34. 334
    Chile siesta says:

    To anonymous:
    4:57 March 5
    Mind over matter verses God!

    I have lived Gods transforming power of yielding to His word in my life. You may know Romans 12:2 concerning the renewing of the mind. That is the Word at work. Christ Himself is the word made flesh. As we let the scriptures get from our heads to our hearts we make the decsion to choose to let it live itself out. It won't happen apart from a deliberate choice to do so. That is how I see it as God working, over mind and matter. He sent His word to heal us and delivery us from destruction (insecurity) (Ps 107:20)…it is He that does the healing…His word in action in us when we do the thing. Hope that helps!

    Love in Christ to a fellow Siesta.

  35. 335
    Sally says:

    I have to say, before I get to the questions, that the Lord has revealed a GIANT truth to me so far in this book. And that is, I have not been defining insecurity correctly. Up until now, I had always thought I had free floating issues with feeling "forgiven". However, that is really not the case. I have always felt completely "forgiven" and secure by my Father, since I got saved. I just have not felt that same sense of security in my surroundings and in my peers. I can finally say, it is not a forgiveness issue. It is an insecurity issue!! This is really freeeing for me!!!! And now, on to the questions.
    1. Loved the statement on pg. 143 "He knows we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary, and not just in spite of where we've been, but because of it." I wish I could drive this point home to my kids. Maybe I'll tape it to the fridge.
    2. It is time to deal with my insecurities because
    a. I finally have a correct definition for insecurity
    b. I spiral downwards as I seek to find security in my surroundings, myself, and others, and its really a very bad ride down there. I would like to get off of this ride forever.
    c. Once I get off of this bad ride, I will be so much more freed up to do and be where the Lord wants me to do and be, and in that to find His empowerment as well.
    3. A recent trigger of insecurity occured just this past week. I was at the dr. office, in a gown (opened in the front for an EKG), and reading So Long Insecurity, with the cover removed. The gown did not fit well. I was reading and clutching at the same time. In came a man to draw blood. He decided to chat with me about the book as I sat there clutching my gown. I decided I was not in the mood to chat, and was somewhat short in my responses. And VERY relieved when he left. Yes this got a huge rise out of me.
    4.Finally, I see the relationship between insecurity and loss of dignity. Now, I know what to look for. Praise God in the way you articulated this!
    Well, longest comment I've ever left, but cathartic for me.
    Sally
    50's
    married
    Cincinnati

  36. 336
    Karl and Liz says:

    liz
    lubbock, tx
    married 40's

    2.Top 3 reasons
    a. insecurity is a peace robber
    b. insecurity keeps you in a box unable to use your talents and skills for the Lord
    c. God did not create me to be insecure!

    3. Trigger…
    we are “middle class” and I have a sweet friend who is "upper middle class" the other morning at coffee she commented on my earrings and necklace (precious gift from my husband for Christmas and Valentines) She mentioned (innocently) her teenage son had bought the same set for his high school girlfriend.
    Before that comment would have triggered all kinds of crazy thoughts regarding my worth, our financial situation, her finances, me wearing "teenage" jewelry etc.. but doing this study and being aware that insecurity is a BAD friend, I decided to take the comment for what it's worth…a comment about jewelry! liberating…….

  37. 337
    T says:

    Thanks for being here. I was down last night with the issues in my life but felt better after having been here. God is good and He is so faithful!

    Go and enjoy this beautiful day he created for us.

    40 single mom Panhandle of NE

  38. 338
    God's girl 68 says:

    1. What really, really hit home for me in Ch 7 was the overcompensation/overcommunication things. Boy, oh, Boy have I ever overcompensated and overcommunicated when insecurity takes over my life. The overcommunication screams insecurity and makes me look like an idiot. I was also touched by insecurity turning me into a liar. I am honest by nature but will stretch or hide the truth in a split second to make myself look better in efforts to cover insecurity.

    2. A. I am sick and tired of acting/looking like an idiot for the sake of insecurity.
    B. I want to be a living example of a secure in Christ woman for my daughter,for the female friends of my teenage sons and for my girlfriends. Reading your book has shown me how insecure most all women are. I am recommending it to all my friends. Funny, most don't want to touch it out of fear of what they'll face.
    C.I want to grow-up in God and live a life that glorifies God. My insecurity does not bring God glory. It shows my lack of trust in Him. OUCH!

    3. I was hit by a trigger last night. At a small party hosted by a dear friend, I ran into a professional enemy, a man at that. He is an attorney. I do some expert witnessing. We are on opposite sides of an issue. He has drug me through the coals, chewed me up & spit me out, and personally attacked me to make his cases. The sight of him made me sick to my stomach. I kid you not. I felt belittled and started reliving past interactions. What I've learned from our walk together kicked in and helped me regain my sense of security in Christ. Ironically, he appeared insecure. Seeing me seemed to freak him out. He actually apologized for his behavior in our past interactions and wanted assurance from me that I understood his behavior wasn't personal. He was just trying to win cases and his attack/bullying nature is his professional shtick. I responded in a secure manner. If this had happened just a few weeks ago, I'd have either hidden from the man all night or feigned (I won't pretty it up. I'd have lied) illness or something to remove myself from the situation.
    4. Dignity is KNOWING and LIVING the truth that I am God's beloved and precious daughter. I am wholly and completely loved, accepted and sustained by the Creator of the Universe.

  39. 339
    Beth says:

    Way to go, Liz from Lubbock! That's what it's going to take right there!

  40. 340
    Beth says:

    To anonymous, learning to play the piano with all the children, YOU ARE A STUD. Do it and enjoy it! Somehow I can imagine Jesus grinning really big wide it.

  41. 341
    Anonymous says:

    Chapter 7 – pg. 135…for years I lied just to be heard because I was so afraid of not being heard. I never in a million years tied it in with my insecurity…I assumed it was hereditary and maybe that is still true to some degree…aren't in fact our insecurities handed down if we don't allow God to deal with them?

    Reason enough to deal with my insecurity:
    a) Insecurity is costing me… A LOT! (relationships, peace, promotion, ministry opportunities)
    b)My insecurity effects those I love. I want my secuirty to effect them instead.
    c)FREEDOM!!! Want to experience…I believed my God over this stronghold!

    Chapter 8 – trigger
    Which one? Just this week! Praise God the trigger was not pulled…face booking, tweeting, blogging, texting, etc. all make this 50 year old a bit nervous and yes, insecure, so I don’t participate. If not for LPM I wouldn’t be blogging…but one thing I know is this site is anointed and so much healing has taken place in my life through Beth being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ Himself for me…thank you Beth, to GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

    Page 146 hit home with me for my daughter, it broke my heart to think of the times I have done this and at the same time proud that she did not pull the trigger like her mom at her age would have…
    "Your mom gets that disapproving look on her face over how you parent her grandchildren." I will forever from this day forth be aware of my facial expressions and body language…

    Dignity: When I live in such a way that other women see Jesus and know that they have to have Him for them self.

  42. 342
    Shawna says:

    1. The point that hit home to me in Chapt 7 was the universal issue of the insecurity and the crazy way that it robs us of so many things while lying to us that it is keeping us "in control".

    2. The top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurity
    a. As a single woman – remaining insecure is an offense to my Husband… : ) Who loves me more than I can ever imagine and has it all taken care of anyway.

    b. To provide a Godly example for all the young women that God has blessed me with in my life

    c. It is singly perhaps the biggest energy drain, destructive and waste of time activity in my life.

    3. Well, believe it or not, the last thing that triggered my insecurity was your book itself Beth. As a single 37 year old woman, who isn't dating – and actually grew up with 3 older brothers – I certainly do have some insecurities as it relates to men, but not to the degree that most of my female friends do. As I have been reading the book (on the last chapter now) — so so many of the examples had to do with how to work through insecurities with "your man" — and after about 3/4 of the way through the book – I started to feel like less of a woman as I didn't have the same insecurities that most of the women quoted there have – since I am not really worried about "losing my man", or what he is thinking – since I don't have one to begin with. After growing up with so many brothers, I'm pretty accurate most of the time figuring out what guys are thinking anyway, so don't waste too much emotion – when I know that strange look in his eye, was actually over a flashback he was having on a bass fishing show, and had nothing to do with something his gal friend said. : )

    4. Dignity to me means, walking in the identity of who God made me to be. I am my Beloveds and my Beloved is mine.

    Shawna
    37 single
    Washington

  43. 343
    Fonda says:

    I just realized that my insecurity comes from me looking to others to see a reflection of MYSELF. And your video post reminded me that I should be looking at the scriptures. But I don't want to look at the scriptures because I will NEVER measure up. so I look at people because some will always be better but some will always be worse and I will be able to say, "Well, I'm better than that." Stupid, I know…but honest.
    Fonda
    MO
    34 years old

  44. 344
    Sandy says:

    Sandy
    Winkler, MB Canada
    40's

    Good morning Beth and all commenters!
    I guess what hit me the most is just how much insecurity robs us of joy,peace, and our God given talents. It is such an utterly defeating emotion.
    Question 2:
    A-I feel like I am disappointing God. He made me exactly who I am. Who am I to hinder him or try to change it?
    B-I want to feel free to be who I am.
    C-I am so done worrying about things that just don't matter.
    Question 3: I just started working at a fsst-food restraunt after 11 years of an office job. A few people have come in and made comments about this job being beneath me. Did I let it get to me? This time, no. They come there and expect to be waited on. Who has the problem?
    Question 4: Dignity to me means not being ashamed of who I am, what I do for a living, what kind of home or car I have. I am God's child. This is the life that He has planned for me, and I am totally okay with that.

  45. 345
    Small but Sure says:

    Today my Scrips were from Psalm 146. A word of encouragement to all
    my siesta's.

    They spoke to the very issue of alot of my past insecurties.
    vs 3. Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men who cannot
    save.
    4. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.
    5. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God,
    6.the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them- the LORD who remains faithful forever.
    7. He upholds the cause of the
    oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets the prisoners free,
    8. the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are
    bowed down, the LORD loves the
    righteous.

    Our society has us looking for our
    Prince Charmings or other things the world has to offer, to fulfill the
    biggest security need of all, "To
    live happily ever after". Lying to
    us that security lies in that.

    Our hope is in God Alone, He upholds the insecure,(vs7), He gives us His truths to fill our
    empty souls(vs 7),He sets us free
    from this bondage of insecurity(vs7), He gives us sight to see His
    truths,(vs8), When we bow down before Him and lay all our insecurities before Him, He lifts us up(v8) We are righteous, and He
    loves us(v8)
    The LORD reigns forever!!!!(v10) And we will reign with Him.
    Now THAT is happily ever after!!!

    vs 1. Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul. 2. I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

  46. 346
    MMMom says:

    1) I actually answered this one in my earlier post. I used to feel so alone in my insecurity.

    2) Top 3 reasons to change:

    a) My two beautiful daughters ages 19 & 16. I want to be an example of a secure woman. Who feels good about herself and who can relate well with others and handle difficult (or perceived as difficult) situations with dignity. I see a little of me in both my girls and don't want them to go through what I have gone through.

    b) I want to be secure for my husband. Our relationship has grown so much in the 20 years we've been married but it didn't start out as great. Many of our "issues", I can see now, were because of my insecurity.

    c) I want to be more approachable. I can so relate to the pastor's wife (pg 130). God knew I needed to see that entry. It's difficult to be shy, feel like you have nothing worthy of saying and then be considered a snob. Very painful.

    3) A recent incident I handled better than usual. I went to lunch with my girls and when we walked in the restaurant I saw two of my friends having lunch. I immediately felt left out and hurt. Why does life continue to feel like 1st grade on the playground? Anyway, I normally would have been sarcastically funny, mildly trying to make them feel bad so they could know that they hurt me by not including me. But I didn't this time. We all chatted a few minutes then I had a beautiful lunch with my girls and had lunch the next week with my friends. I can't wait for God to release me from having the initial reaction.

    4) Dignity to me is when I come to the place when I can act like God would want me to act. When I act with the assurance of Christ, with complete humility, without self condemnation, judgement or desperation.

    Praise God I can do all things through Christ who give me strength! I'm Believing God.

    Sharon
    San Antonio
    40's
    married

  47. 347
    Beth Willis Miller says:

    beth
    florida
    married
    50s
    1. because I am adopted, this quote from Chapter 7 resonated with me…“I was adopted and had the best parents ever…my parents always told me how much I was loved and wanted, but I let insecurity make me feel like I was not good enough. I mean, how could a mother not want and love her child? Something had to be wrong with me…one day I was walking and talking to God, and He made it clear to me that He loved me and I was placed where He wanted me. That He had chosen my parents before I was even conceived!…I can look back now and see so many areas that Satan used with that insecurity…” almost word-for-word, that has been my experience also…
    2. a. my past—I want to look back and see how God has been there all along with me.
    b. my present—I want to live each day believing that God has a plan, a hope, and a future for me.
    c. my future—from this day forward, I want to keep tearing down Satan’s lies about who I am, and re-wallpaper my mind with the truth that in Christ, I am blessed, accepted, twice adopted, chosen, redeemed, forgiven, and loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms.
    3. this week a trigger of insecurity came in the form of a phone call from a co-worker in which she brought up a humiliating experience of rejection that happened to me at work. Although I didn’t let her know it had triggered all those memories of rejection, I found myself crying on and off all day…then I realized that my Savior was waiting for me to, once again, cast all my cares upon Him because He cares for me.
    4. I love that Scripture from Chapter 8…SHE. IS. CLOTHED. WITH. STRENGTH. AND. DIGNITY… Dignity means that once again this morning, I have been to the Cross of Jesus Christ, once again, looked up to his nail-pierced brow, and experienced His Blood cover my heart, and once again, I get up off my knees and wear His Robe of Righteousness.

  48. 348
    FloridaLizzie says:

    Liz 40s married

    This book is awesome! It's going to go down in my life as one of the biggest life-changing books I have ever read. I've had some great light bulb moments this week.

    1. The section on pg. 122 hit home with me: "Insecurity and all its attending emotional unhealthiness can cause us to embrace people who abuse us…Let me be blunt: security means we know a jerk when we see one and know a crime when we experience one."
    This hit home with me because I'm in a job search and just had my first job interview in many years. In my last job, I worked for a guy who seemed great at first, but who I found out was a real mess. I felt thankful when the job ended, because his crazy abusive marriage and critical attitudes simply fed my insecurity. So after I interviewed this week, something inside (God) said to me, the boss interviewing me would also be a critical, negative, demanding joyless jerk. I needed to run from this job opportunity! I want healing, not another unhealthy job experience! Beth's words on the page made me realize this is not the right job for me. I can trust God for something better.

    2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurity now!
    A. God used these last chapters to help me realize that the main things that drew my husband and me together 25 years ago were Christ and common roots of insecurity! Whenever one of us has wanted to get well, it drew us apart, not together. My husband is having a crisis at work, and is finally in counseling, and says I can go with him to work on us soon. I think God brought me this book right now to help us heal our relationship.

    B. I don't want to pass this legacy of insecurity on to anyone else in our whole family anymore. I want it over and buried. Our son is in college, and I don't want him to marry a girl he is attracted to because of common roots of insecurity and dysfunction. I want God to use what I'm learning to help others on their journey.

    C. I'm praying for the right job for me now, and don't want to be anywhere but where God wants me. It makes no sense not to run from a place filled with poisonous people. I know better now. Yep, God's timing is perfect.

    4. Dignity is God-given. It means I am worthy of respect and honor because I am who GOD says I am!

  49. 349
    [email protected] Journey says:

    1) "Insecurity can be a relentless robber!" There were a couple of specific areas that I could relate to (I had to do a double take on one to remember if I wrote it or not!), but overall I have let insecurity rob me of relationships, good times, my best performance, fun with my man, time with my extended family…

    2)a) It has stolen enough!
    b)I have too important of a job as a mom to be insecure and feel weak and like a failure much of the time.
    c)God has something planned for me and insecurity won't get me there!

    3)Today–because of my husbands new position, he is on the chamber of commerce board of directors. Today is a big banquet, and I don't know anyone. I don't know what to wear, will I say something stupid, will I give the wrong impression…those thoughts are beginning, BUT my God says I'm clothed with strength and diginity, so I'm good!

    4)I am in the middle of Kelly Minter's study on Ruth. I woke up and did that homework, then read chapter 8 in SLI. In Ruth we were studying that verse that talks about Ruth putting on new clothes and going to the threshing floor. Those new clothes are significant and Kelly pointed out that maybe it is time to put off old worn out clothes and move on because God has something new. THEN I picked up SLI to read, "She is clothed with strength and dignity." It wasn't until Beth read it slowly…"She. Is. Clothed." that I got it. My new clothes are strength and dignity! My God is so sweet! The start of our Bible study was postponed 2 weeks because of snow, so that I would read those two separate lessons on the same day! Dignity to me is being confident in who God made me.

    Beth, I cannot thank you enough for being faithful to what God called you to do in this work. I will not be the same!
    Shelly
    Texas
    30's
    married

  50. 350
    aussie monica says:

    2a. for Trinity, Faith and Eden, my daughters. I tell them they are beautiful and wonderful but when I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I am so ugly, I do not think I am backing up my teaching to them.

    b. for everyone around me. that they will see my security comes from Christ and thus want that for themselves.
    c. for myself. so i will stop believing the accuser and his relentless lies.

    monica
    30s
    m with 4 kids
    toronto, canada (transplanted aussie)

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