Hey, Girls!
I am sitting in the passenger seat of my man’s blue Ford truck with a bird dog’s head on my shoulder heading west to cactus country for a few days. Do you remember that place I told you about where I have to hike with a shotgun because of all the rattlesnakes? Yep, that’s where we’re headed. I don’t think I told you that Keith only lets me have one shotgun shell (thanks, Adrienne!) per walk so I only get to run into one snake at a time. For those of you who have been around for a while and are wondering, yes, we have Star, our Border Collie with us, too. She’s too busy looking out the window trying to herd the traffic to snuggle with me though. It would be tough to type with both on them on top of me anyway.
I’ve been thinking about you every single day. I have no idea how many of your comments I’ve read. Tons. Because we get the whole week to finish the assignments, I can read a certain amount almost every single day. I’m getting to keep up even better than I’d hoped. I really thought this would be a neat experience but you have surpassed my expectation in your answers and insights. The transparency is so incredibly refreshing. So many wonderful things have hit me in the last two weeks as we’ve gone through the first four chapters together. There’s one eye-opening and troubling thing I want to talk to you about before we proceed to our assignments. I’ve been touched by how many of you (thankfully) confessed that you even feel insecure about your comments and about whether or not the other women participating will think you’ve said something lame. Others mentioned being scared they’d misspell a word. As we seek freedom from God, let’s not let the enemy mess with us that way. Let’s not give over one inch of extra ground to the very issue we’re trying to escape.
What do you say we make this discussion stream a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE? What do you say we make a conscious choice not to compete with one another? Not to judge one another? Not to try to measure up to one another or feel less or more than the other? We have to put up with all that trash almost everywhere else a group of women meets up. We can make up our minds not to have to put up with that here. We are smart women. We can determine to share our struggles, challenges, and victories over insecurity without feeling insecure about them. Talk about double indemnity! In Jesus’ Name, let’s make up our minds to treat one another with respect but not give a rip about trying to keep up or compete. Even while we’re on our journey to freedom, let’s make this community a microcosm of what we hope, when it’s behind us, to find and to become. I can’t think of a better place for us to practice making up our minds not to let circumstances or people draw out our insecurities.
I esteem you highly and find you so entirely interesting. What I’ve learned from you already can’t be overstated. I have become increasingly certain over the last two weeks that God is up to something BIG among us. Bigger than I first thought. In fact, I can tell you this. There’s no way we came up with this. God is pursuing us. He’s setting us up to get sick and tired of our insecurity and to do anything we must in order to find wholeness in Him. Let’s not stop Him in any way.
Oops, I got distracted for a minute. We just stopped at a Valero’s near Llano, Texas, for a bathroom break and Star started barking her head off at a man minding his own business and walking into the store. “What on earth is the matter with you?” I asked. (To Star, of course. Not the man.) Then I saw what he was wearing. Short shorts with winter white legs and black socks. I think Star is terrified by black socks against bright legs. Somebody tell me why that dude didn’t feel insecure. Not really. Don’t get off on that. But admit it. It’s a mystery.
OK, so let’s get to this week’s assignments. We’ve reached a very important point in our journey. We’re about to dig up eight deep roots of insecurity. No, we’re not looking for excuses but a little understanding can go a mighty long way. Haven’t you ever wondered why it dogs you so? You may be about to find out. This week I’d like for you to give special attention to Chapters FIVE and SIX. Here are the two questions I want you to answer here on the blog:
1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.
2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)
These may sound like simple questions but I promise you we will have some interesting reading this week. Go to it, Girlfriends! I can’t wait to hear from you. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to make your comment. By the way, a number of you have asked if women can jump in late with us. Absolutely! Any time. Everybody’s welcome.
Here’s a special challenge this week: Let’s still hear from all of you who’ve been commenting over the last two weeks but let’s ALSO hear from at least one hundred of you who have never posted before. Remember, this is a NO INTIMIDATION ZONE. Get in there and learn how to make a comment and if you find it posted later and see that you misspelled a word, who cares? This journey will mean ten times more to you if you get all the way into it. Come on in and participate. This is a really cool group of women.
Come, Lord Jesus, and minister to us. Open our eyes. Open our hearts. Grant us signs of great freedom and healing even this week as we discover where our insecurities may be coming from. We know, Lord, that no flesh and blood can bring us what we need. If we come out of this with liberty, all glory will go to You alone. I love You, Father. Do Your Thing.
Al's Girl 
I am zooming through this book and am already up to Chapter 11. Obviously, it is speaking to me! I have realized that pride and fear are the main causes of my own insecurity and I am thankful that God is helping me deal with these issues. Iam in my late 30s, the married mother of three, and I have been dealing with the "What am I worth?" question. Having been a stay-at-home mom for the past 10 years, I am struggling with feeling valued and appreciated. Now that my kids are older I am starting to feel that I need to find a big, important job that defines me and proves to everyone how smart and talented I really am and says: I'm more than 'just a' stay-at-home mom. The Lord is trying to get it through my thick skull that I am an heiress of his kingdom and that will never change – no matter what job I do or don't have. Beth – God is truly using you! God Bless- Marjorie, 38, married mother of three
1.My 2 primary roots are a dramatic change and pride.
2.Dramatic change was when my family moved to Cocoa Beach, FL the summer before my senior year in high school. I left all of my friends and extended family in my hometown in LA.I thought my world had come to an end, but actually it was great to get away from all of the "class conscious" people I was around.My insecurities were lessened because, in CB, the people I was around weren't impressed with how much money your daddy made or what they did for a living. Everyone I knew was there because of Cape Kennedy and the space program. I was an "equal" for the first time in my life. I also grew spiritually because of a wonderful small church that my family was involved in. God really did use something that seemed "unbearable" for good in my life.
Pride is always a root because I strive for perfection in every area of my life. I have trouble accepting that I am doing fine. I am learning, though, that God is not mad at me and that He loves me just the way I am.
Judy
Lake Charles, LA
60
Single
I believe my first area of insecurity comes from rejection. From early grade school until my late 20's I faced very devastating rejection. My second area of insecurity, though I hate to admit it (ha!), is pride. I have been processing through my perfectionistic tendencies the past few years, but I can still see it rear it's ugly head.
I feel like God was speaking to me about spotting my pride and calling it out! To bring it to God and ask for forgiveness.
I have a restored sense that it's OK if I'm not the best at everything or anything. I am who God created me to be. He can and will use me even if I don't excel in all areas of life. Now, I just need to keep reminding myself of that when I feel pride sneaking up on me!
Marisa
Beavercreek, OH
30's
Married
I believe my first root of insecurity is from growing up with a very domineering mother and a very passive father. I was never good enough and then my image of God is passive and distant-not protective. My second root is rejection. It could probably be my first and last. Growing up as one of 3 girls on the block and always being the "crowd" part of the equation did much damage over the years.
I prayed the prayer weeks ago and am amazed at how effective it was. My young daughter (20) and I were talking yesterday about how we quickly recognize the emotions that come from insecurity and how this book has helped us choose to make the choice of where to go with our thoughts. It is so practical but certainly not a naturaly thing to do. I am blessed by this endeavor.
Melinda – 34
South of Jackson, MS
Married
My two primary roots of instability are rejection and rejection. LOL. I know that is not "two" things but my root is so big it should count as two. My biological mom gave me up for adoption at age 2 after I was severely physically and emotionally neglected. Social workers told my parents that I had been left alone to cry in a crib all day.
It's really hard to deal with a root of insecurity that has controlled my entire life. I feel that God has used this book so far to show me in love that I don't have to live like this anymore. I have let a lot of my past pain heal since having children and seeing how amazing they are; but, I know that I still have a long way to go.
I have felt held back in almost every area of my life and I truly believe that God wants to use this book/study to bring me to a new place with Him and with others.
Shannon
Greeley, CO
30's
Married
1. It's hard to pick only two because I found a couple of tangled knots. The first one is the trickiest to untangle. It's a triple combo of instability in the home, loss of innocence, and rejection. Out of that knot I would say instability in the home comes out on top. "I'm on my own. No one will take care of me," was my anthem from a very young age. My second root is personal disposition. I have always felt things so deeply, more deeply than most. I ended my teen years cold and dead on the inside because I couldn't handle all that I felt. By God's grace He called me out of my walking grave when I was twenty years old and over the course of many years has restored life and truth to my heart, mind, and soul. He is so good. It's only through raising my three intensely deep, feeling children that I discovered it's in my DNA. It's how God made me and He meant it for good. Satan tried to use it to destroy me, but my God gets the last word on this one.
2. "Life is rough. It's also beautiful, but if we can't get some respite from its cruelty, we will never have the healthy vision to savor its tender beauty." This statement touched my heart because this is where my past few years have led me. Fear, pride, and perfectionism have robbed me of much beauty in this world. God is God, and I am not. This simple statement has become utterly profound to me. God never intended that I change, save, or control the whole world. Submitted to Him, a lot actually can be done through me. But the scope of it shouldn't be my concern.
Mary
60's
Married
Cincinnati, Ohio
1) Primary roots of insecurity
Rejection – I've always wished my husband was crazy about me
Personal limitations – I've always wanted to be smarter
2) I would probably set my husband up as a god if he acted like I was everything to him. It would have delayed my relationship with my true God. So God is using that to make me understand that He is my one & only God.
Since I've always felt everyone else was smarter, I've worked harder to be the best I can be. So God has given me a strong work ethic because of that.
Kathleen
st. joseph
married
40s
I think my main root of insecurity comes from feeling like nobody ever loved me.
We were so poor and had nothing. People always made fun of us at school and in the family at family get together. That all lead to being dumb because I was so shy that I would never dream of asking a question if i did not understand so the snowball rolled on and on and on!
The insight I gained Is we all have insecurity some big some small, but with
gods help and one step at a time we can overcome them if we want to. 30 years ago nobody would have ever been able to tell me i would be this fun, smart, loving,and out going God loving women that I am today. Do I still have insecurities? You bet I do but with God and my wonderful husband we try to keep them contained to the trash where they belong.
Colorado Springs,CO
Colorado
50's married
I am having so much trouble posting I am almost feeling too stupid to keep trying! Ouch.
My "two roots" post did not publish, instead my post from last week repeated-LOL! I will try again:
My two roots are instability and rejection, this from my Mom whom God has brought into my life to care for, only to find the forgiveness I thought I had given is not there afterall. The pain and anger I feel around her shows me God has some unfinished business with me, and this book study could not have come at a better time.
I'm late posting, but have been slowly working my way through the chapters. I could underline every other sentence for their relevance to me! I have needed to take time to think over these truths, as far as roots of insecurity. I guess I had never given it much thought. I have aways just thought I was born with them. Anyway, I believe my top two are: instability in the home and rejection. In my case I believe the two are related strongly. My mom was anorexic, and eventually died at 47 from the illness, and my dad did his best to make us feel normal yet he and mom did not have a normal, loving relationship. She was deeply religious to the point of turning dad, my brother and myself away from God for a long while. I don't blame her, and I know she's with the Lord and whole and well now, I just know Satan uses anything to trip us up and it worked that time. As a result, I began to make poor choices as a teen, looking for love in all the wrong places, eventually marrying a non-believer who was emotionally abusive and a philanderer, which of course did wonders for my already low self-esteem. Praise God, years later I am as the prodigal son who the Father ran to meet with a party! I have a precious, godly husband now and three beautiful kids. But I still need to kill this insecurity that lurks and seeks to cripple me at every turn.
Tammi
40's
Missouri
Melanie
30's
Married
TN
Sorry…. running LATE! I've been sick, but back at it now!
1. I believe the two primary roots of my struggle with insecurity are Pride and personal limitations. I have struggled with always trying to be 'perfect', to be the best, to turn everything into a competition.. and never felt like I was "enough". Not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, etc. As far as personal limitations, I have always had horrible skin and I think that really affected my self esteem, especially as a young girl. I see myself in the mirror sometimes the way I looked when I was 12 years old.
2. I have been overwhelmed by God's message that my worth does not have ANYthing to do with my performance. I am worthy of God's love apart from anything I can ever do and I need to stop trying to "BE" something in myself. It's just a form of pride! I need to completely find my sense of wholeness and worth in God alone.
The two roots of my struggle are dramatic change and pride. We have moved several times during our 15 years of marriage, but our move last year affected me more than I have been willing to realize. I've seen my kids struggle, but I am realizing that my stuggles are also related to this change. I also struggle with pride. I am shy, so when I help out somewhere I don't need a big fanfare, but it hurts when no one seems to notice.
I really felt God speaking to me through the Psalm 139 verses. Just to be reassured that God is always with me and knows what I am going through was awesome.
Stacey
30's
Sugar Land, TX
Married
My goodness this weeks reading was FULLY LOADED! I am not even sure where to begin …
1: The two most significant roots of my insecurity rejection and Pride.
2: As I was reading in chapter 5, I have roots in so many areas, but the most significant was rejection – I had memories pop into my head from school, camps and the neighborhood when boys (and some girls) would tell me how ugly i was. Which looking back, those where not my more glamorous days – but still it cut deep.
But this week I heard the voice of God saying – I made your hair have wave, stop straightening your hair, you are supposed to be pale in the winter – don't use so much make up … just a few examples. And not only was I obedient to God … my husband approves – he thinks I have become more beautiful. I do not always see it … but I am walking in faithful obedience … which begins to also tear down the root of PRIDE … such an ugly thing – but It is coming down one chop at a time. Recognition is just the start …
The biggest impact came at the end of chapter 5, when Beth shared her conversation with her daughter Melissa ….
"He know's it's scary to be us".
That was such a reassuring statement. Inspired by God. Such wisdom.
January of 2009, my first born son passed away after 71min. We knew at the 17 week ultrasound that he had Trisomy 13, which included an under developed heart. The chance of carring him full term was minimal, and there was even a less chacne he owuld have a live birth. God is so good, by his grace and mercy Jeremiah was born on his due date, then lived for 71 min to meet his 4 Grandparents, All Aunts and Uncles, cousins … his earthly family spent precious time before he was welcomed to the heavenlies. The last year and a half have been hard, sometimes unimaginable. But God has been with me every step. He helped to use this experience to move me – He truly used the Birth and Death of my little man to strengthen me in ways I did not know I needed strength. So when I read that statement from Melissa – A reassurance that it is scary, but Thank God he knows, and is with us ALWAYS.
Blessings to You!
beth, married
30's
Indiana
I believe the 2 primary roots of my insecurity are Rejection and Pride.
I think that my fear of rejection stems from childhood. Although I grew up in a Christian home with parents that love me, my father was not vocal about his love for his children. We didn't get alot of hugs and were not told that we were loved. Don't get me wrong, I know they loved me, but for some reason I needed to hear it. I needed for my daddy to treat me like a special princess, but he didn't. I see now that is why I sought attention from men my whole life, looking for anyone to validate those feelings. That led me down the wrong road with lots of pain.
I also have learned that pride is really insecurity in disguise.
Lynn
Rochelle, Ga
40 and married
I forgot to mention something else so important that I learned…
I'm a perfectionist. I never realized that it's because of my insecurity. I need to learn to "chill out" and stop demanding perfection from myself as well as others.
Thanks for helping me see this. I'm praying God will deliver me from this as I strive to remove my insecurities.
Lynn
Rochelle, Ga
40 and married
1. I believe my primary roots of insecurity developed through instability in the home and personal disposition. In my home environment growing up, I was not always shown consistent acceptance, nurturance, or encouragement. I learned to try and "earn" approval from others and was deeply hurt when that did not happen. I have always been sensitive and take criticism hard.
2. God has given me positive adult relationships that have allowed me to gain perspective on my family life growing up. I now know that the instability I experienced was not my fault and that there was nothing I could have done as a child to change it. God has also shown me that I can find such wonderful, amazing, unconditional love and acceptance through Him. I feel so honored and blessed that He loves me just the way I am.
Suzanne
Knoxville, TN
20s
Single, In a Relationship
Stephanie
30's
Tupelo MS
Married
1. a. Childhood sexual abuse, very similar to the length of time you describe. Too young to know when it began and plenty old enough to know when it stopped. Probably knowing later on once I told, that I didn’t know of one person fighting for me. Praise the Lord, I know the Lord never left me though. Genesis 50:20—I will not let it be wasted, I want to proclaim hope to others.
b. PRIDE! Even right now I have freaked out all week about going to a ladies retreat because I am so introverted at times. I realize that it is pride for me to go on and on about this not being my ‘thing’, as if I think everyone else will be looking at me the whole time or something. Makes me so mad!
2. I am sensing the Lord teaching me to test my motives and to stop looking to others for approval. I am so thankful He is showing me that I am confusing humility with pride. Once again, your teaching on Life Today yesterday could not have come at a more perfect time. I was actually able to say ‘thank you’ to someone yesterday without going into detail about why they shouldn’t compliment me.
I wanted to also add that it was not until I facilitated Daniel (the Lord has a sense of humor), which was my very first Bible study EVER, that I EVER heard a woman share a story of not always living a perfect life and I was 27 years old at the time. I was in church every single Sunday of my life and NEVER heard one woman share sufferings or the sin in her life and give God the glory for the healing. I always felt like I was the only who had ever gone through what I did. My mom facilitated every one of your studies until she died in 2001, and I was too busy following a rock band to care about doing a Bible study (although I read my bible by myself almost daily for years). I just wanted to know Him for myself and make sure I wasn’t just following a person’s teaching, so stubborn. So, I believe you have claimed Genesis 50:20 as well and I will never forget hearing you say once that when someone asked you about your childhood abuse and asked you why you thought it happened and you said ‘for them’ and pointed down a row of women waiting to talk to you. I have been obsessed with/addicted to more things than I can list and surrounded myself with people who I thought needed me more than I needed them so as to shield myself from hurt more times than I can count (only to find myself more obsessed with them than they were with me) and to hear you say that makes me know I have not been the only one and it makes so much sense the things I have done and ways I have acted out. I cannot thank the Lord enough for your honesty and most of all that you always point your healing to Jesus! He is my passion now, even though I still struggle with the insecurity. I cling to Him for life!
I also pray Psalm 71 for my life, especially verses 14-24, that He would allow to proclaim his power to the next generation!
Pride pride pride. Beth! Thank you for putting pride into words for me and helping my closed minded, hard headed self to realize that this was in fact the major root to my insecurities! I can't believe it. I never thought of it that way and I'm shocked that I didn't but at the same time I can see how I could be blinded (by ego). I am constantly trying to be the best at something and I've just thought of it as perfectionism but now I see it's that "somebody notice me!" that you mentioned. I hope that I can remind myself in those moments when I'm trying to prove to my mother-in-law that I really am a good mom, or trying to make my husband happy by cleaning the house and doing all the laundry and keeping the kids clean and fed, and making that perfect tasting perfectly level birthday cake that none of those things make me a better person or help me overcome insecurities. They really just create more insecurities because I will undoubtedly let someone down in the process, myself if no one else. But in the midst of it all….God notices me and loves me and made me the way I am! Praise God!
I've rambled here but I'm excited to get to a root that really affects me!!
Ashley, 28
Huntsville, AL
Which two are the primary roots of my insecurity – I can't get past (choosing the root of) rejection. I almost can't seem to think of any of the others because this is THE ONE.
The insight is that I felt rejected by my dad when I was really young. My parents divorced right after my second birthday and my father chose alcohol over his family. I remember being just shy of 3 and waiting for him to pick us up for Christmas but I don't remember him ever coming. (Honestly, I don't know if that really happened or it's just a memory molded out of other times. But, it really fits how I feel and my first memory of feeling rejected.) I seem to now push people away before they can push me away. I am so humbled by God's love and mercy and how He will never leave me!
God seems to be telling me first and foremost that HE LOVES ME. He knows my name. He will never forsake me or leave me. He will never and has never rejected me. Those times when I feel all alone, He is always there. I picture Him wrapping His arms around me and keeping me safe and secure and feeling loved.
(I've had quite a week/month with this reading…I praise HIM for the process of freeing me from my insecurities!)
I love you!
liz
lubbock,tx
married 40's
1.) seems like I have experienced all of them. i have thought about "roots" all week. seems like i was a confident cute little girl. I suppose icky jr. high is where so many insecurities started. so, my two will be personal limitations and pride. I have undiagonised learning disabilities that growing up made me feel less than bright.
2. God and I are working on the pride issue. funny, how you think if you are "down on yourself" you are not prideful. still focused on SELF tho. ugh
Lonna
40's
Married
Albany, OR
I just have to share this before I forget again. When this book came in the mail, my 15 year old daughter read the title out loud, looked at your picture on the cover and said " I don't know what she has to be insecure about, she looks like a barbie doll". I laughed out loud and left it at that.
At one point in my week 3 reading I commented to myself "good Lord, do I have to have them all"? referring to the roots of insecurity. And bless my heart, I do! From birth! Rejected as a baby because I was a girl, I was adopted by a single woman (rare in 1964)who worked full time and I was left in the hands of a very physically abusive Uncle and his timid wife, my aunt. Moved to Kenya at 7 yrs old,attended boarding school (lots more abandonment, bullying, rejection), as a child in Kenya, I was physically punished by my mom for being sexually violated twice, once by a visiting minister whose wife was with him on their visit, moved back to the States at age 15, did my best to fit in everywhere doing whatever it took,had baby out of wedlock, was told by same helpful mom (bless her heart) that no one would want to marry me now, so married Mr. Wrong, suffered more abuse (hospital for being hit too hard in the head) had 3 more kids,released from marriage by God, went on to (by the sheer grace of God) to find and marry the sweetest, kindest man God created, in trying to cope with the guilt of divorce and impact on kids, bought my son alcohol which he then, unknown to me, took to a party, girl died at party, son was blamed, I was blamed for buying him the alcohol, spent time time in jail (great opportunity to share though) and still have the gall to have lots of pride! I had a minister tell me after one of my counseling sessions with first husband "I'm surprised you're still a Christian after all you've been through". I said "Are you kidding? Jesus was the only sane one out of the bunch!" And that's the truth.
1. Abuse is one root; verbal, physical, sexual and emotional.
2. "The primal fear that no one will take care of us". (pg 65) is another sizable root. I cannot remember a single time as a child that someone stood up for me, defended, or protected me.
I gained lots of insight about the roots of insecurity, mainly that I have so many and they're in big old knot.
I do love and was so encouraged by your words on page 107; "Pride is one of those roots that God can jerk up in a second, we just have to pry our sweet little fingers loose". And since Pride needs to go before I can see the forest, this is encouraging and even exhilarating.
What is God saying to me during this? That I am loved by my Creator. He not only found a way to save me, He fights to keep me and that is amazing. He is committed to me and nothing can separate me from His love. And I love that you pointed out that God uses change to change us. Not to destroy or distract us but to "coax us the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny".THANK YOU!!!!!
And finally, your words on page 102 reaffirmed what I suspected all along; "He not only notices us, He never takes His eyes off us. Every now and then a moment of clarity hits us, and we feel known by something, Someone, of inestimable greatness". and then on page 103, "In the radiance of His greatness, we are made great".
And Psalm 139 just fit in so well.
Thank you.
1. Unattainable expectations set by my father on me as the first born. It sure did a number on my self-esteem.
2. The reminder to me from Isaiah 41:9-10. “I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.”
Suzanne
Chicago
Married
50's
Jess from huntington beach, CA
20's and married
1. my roots surprised me. they are change and pride
2. this is pretty amazing. I'm an ER nurse, so I "pride myself"in being able to deal with change in a constantly changing environment. After reading this chapter, I was so enlightened! the thing I thought was a strength is actually one of the biggest roots of insecurity for me. I'm deadly afraid of change and I try to maintain a false sense of control… to be honest, i HATE my job. and when Beth wrote "we'll even stay in a job we hate because we're afraid to change insurance companies" that's EXACTLY what I'm afraid of!!!! wow. is that God speaking to me or what?! I cannot wait to close this book a secure woman!
1) Wow – this was h.a.r.d for me!! There were 4 that resonated with me pretty hard. Personal Disposition, I believe that my two primary roots are 1 – Personal Disposition, Rejection, Our Culture and Pride. But I think out of those four my top two are
A- Person Disposition: (tenderhearted/sensitive/overactive) I have to agree with what I read that Becky P from Charlotte wrote "My sensitive nature causes me to value the opinions of others more than the truth God says about me in His word." EXACTLY!!!! And it goes hand in hand with . . .
B- Rejection. I want people to like me and value me more than anything –
Like I said it was very hard for me to decide because Our Culture drives me insane and I started tearing up when on page 94 Beth talked about kissing our twenties good-bye – I turn 30 in less than two months and my 30th birthday has been hanging over my head since the day I turned 29. I have had the hardest time accepting I'm going to be 30 and I don't know why – – but a good friend asked me once about all the stupid stuff I have done in the past 10 years – and boy there's a lot and she said see – you get to leave all that behind because with your 30s come wisdom – lord I hope she's right!)
2 On Page 61 Beth wrote ". . .and we start trying to figure out what kinds of professions require a kindergarten education." I wish I could say I got that far – I enrolled my 3 1/2 year old last week to start 3 year old preschool in the fall and I've been so worried. But I realized today while at a MOPS meeting – it's MY insecurities that are holding my child back – it has absolutely nothing to do with him. He loves it, it's his momma that needs to get it together to let him go.
But I also feel God telling me that He loves me and if He is okay with me then that's all that really matters. He made me who and what I am – and if He wanted me to be anyone else or do anything else – He is God – – He would do something about it!
April, 29
Williamson GA
Married
1) I got hit hard, right in the face and the heart and for me this is HUGE….that I will be left all alone. I can't tell you how many times I've said that to my Man, to my Girlfriends, probably any one that would listen if I'll be honest here. I've no children of my own and two step-children. Been married to their precious Dad for 16 years, and been blessed to watch them grow up and give US Grandchildren. A mighty fine role by the way. But, I got it, I GOT IT!!! I'm letting go of that one because God will provide for me and take care of me IF He chooses to take my Man home to be with Him before me. 😉
2) Insecurity of women towards me because my abuser was a woman. That hit me afresh as well.
I know that I know God is doing HUGE things with-in me, and around me. I'm seeking Him like never before and the rewards are HUGE.
Love to you!
Yolanda
40's, Married
Ulysses, KS.
This post is for Beth who commented on March 4th at 8:27am…
Your story broke my heart but I too have dealt with a significant loss. God is always there for you and He can provide a peace that you will never understand, you just have to rely on Him. I look to the verses Jeremiah 29:11 and Phillipians 4:6-7 to get through alot of the sadness and times of uncertainty. God has a reason for everything and He will work it out for His glory. He is with you and He loves you. Hope these could be words of encouragement to you.
Your sister in Christ,
Heather
This is my first post here and I almost skipped doing this week since it's already time for chapters 7 & 8. I thought 'It won't matter. I'll just contribute on this weeks.' But I realized that I need to do this for me, not just for everyone else. So here goes…
1) My first root of insecurity is found from having instability in the home. I never knew from one day to the next if this would be another day in which my older sister would have to sequester my twin and I away because of my parents and their extreme fighting. Funny, this book has come at a time in which my parents just spent 5 wks with us. They live in a different state so this was a wonderful time for all of us. I was able to see, once again, some of that same instability try to rear it's ugly head again.
2) The second one I recognize is pride, tangled up with perfectionism. This I have recognized before and I am still uncovering layers of ugliness inside.
What I sense God showing me is how tangled up all of these things can get and that I can spend a lifetime trying to unravel them. I need to recognize them and begin to let Him unravel them!!
Robyn
Queen Creek Arizona
40's and married
1. Instability at home attacked me most in the form of rejection… raised by my partying dad, three different stepmoms, and someone was always "leaving" and I was never doing everything quite right in someone's eyes. I can see by my reactions (temporary insanity) and devices of controlling and hardening that this is a major root with lots of shoots of insecurity!
My personal disposition has also been a cause for some deep roots in my life. In college, I remember thinking I was really a crazy person… feeling one extreme to the next. With reflection, I have learned that I really connect and "feel" everything! Making me a passionate person in all directions. This leads to me being hurt or over sensitive… right into insecurity.
2. God is using current circumstances (have been on bedrest for a month, with three to go), His Word, this book, and reflection to really dig up some weeds. I sense the healing and the glimpses of beauty He is restoring. He is saying to me, "We've got places to go and I've got plans for you, but this stuff is not going with us," as I recall Beth sharing something similar in Believing God.
Diane
Albany, Georgia
married
40's
My two primary roots of insecurity are a combination of pride and my personal diposition. Seeing false humility for what it is-PRIDE, is key to improving my aim. Like my young son who is into archery, if I have not sighted by "bow" in on the truth, it matters not how carefully I aim. I must make sure that truth is central, if I ever hope to hit the bullseye.
My Insight? I guess I have been very touched by how I see others. There are so many wounded people out there. Their insecurities have so many faces. I pray that God will teach me to be more sensitive to the needs of others. Rather than judge or jump to conclusions about the behavior of others, I want to minister to these hurting ladies. I've just been so blessed in my relationships, that sometimes I think I don't have a clue!
1. Dramatic Change – having to move 1,200 miles away from my home, parents, friends, job, church, bunko group….everything dear to me to a place where I did not know a soul. I was unhappy and angry for too long. Beth says in Chapter 5 – "God uses change to change us." I finally realized that I had wasted too much time being sad & angry & regretting my circustances. I needed to trust that God had a purpose for moving me, too.
2. Personal limitations – I suffer from clinical depression and when I am deeply depressed I isolate and avoid all social situations. This makes me feel inferior, and insecure, because normally I am outgoing! Fortunately, I have found a good doctor and am on the right medication (and dosage). I have come to terms with living with this disorder for the rest of my life and accepting God's plan for this limitation in my life.
Insight: Insecurity is often cloaked in perfectionism. God is helping me be less of a perfectionist!
Dana
Married, 50's
Yuba City, CA
Christina, Pittsburgh
20’s and Married
I will apologize now for the length of this post but I needed to get it out and hope that it may help someone else.
1. After much debate and prayer… I think my two primary roots for insecurity are personal disposition and pride. 4 roots really hit me. Rejection and Culture were the other two however I realized that those were really a result or intertwined in some way with the primary two. I really fear rejection from others and how they will perceive me but I constantly judge myself against others and I think that is pride. The culture drives me absolutely nuts and having a daughter who is 15 months old makes me want to read every book out there to help encourage her to be a strong secure woman who is delighted in the way God made her. I even prayed when I was pregnant for her to have long eyelashes so she wouldn’t have to worry about makeup. Because I hate that I feel I can’t leave the house without makeup and worry my husband doesn’t think I am beautiful enough without it. But I feel all of that is steamed from my personal disposition and pride as well…that constant fear sometimes of what people are saying about me or if they think badly about me, but I act like I don’t when I meet people … I want to always be right, have the right answer, say & do the right thing, be the best for my husband and family. And the list could go on and on…AND it drives me crazy! That perfectionism thing…not so much as being overly organized but just having it the way I want it and see fit. Or perceiving what perfectionism is by the way our culture so aggressively suggest. My personal disposition lets me get terribly sensitive and offended when criticized or corrected. My heart is huge and emotional… more than my husband would like But letting that insecurity eat at my heart really damages what God’s plans are for it. AGAIN, I used to blame it on being the second child and living in the shadow of my sister. I crave words of affirmation. I hate to admit it and it hit me hard when I realized that Pride is probably the number one insecurity I have. So I guess that leads into my answer for question 2. –
2. While reading every root and questioning during each one if it was my primary root and then getting to the end of Chapter 6 to the Pride section all the while thinking there was no way it was Pride,( HA! How prideful is that!) I realized without a doubt it was! I even went back to the other roots again and reread through them because I didn’t believe it. Even looking at other women’s comments to make sure I was grasping the meaning. Man did that speak to me! So I went back and reread the Pride section until I let it sink in. I never really looked at Pride in the way Beth put it. “Pride lives on the defensive against anyone and anything that tries to subtract from its self-sustained worth.” “We have no greater burden in all of life than our own inflated egos.” “SOMEBODY NOTICE ME!” – I just love the way you put it Beth…that we just want noticed and God made us that way- desperate for significance. Significance that only he can give us and wants us to get from him… Now my personal disposition is getting the better of me as my emotions over flow while writing this. AND I LOVE IT AND DON’T WANT TO BE INSECURE ABOUT IT! This blog is truly a healing spot for all of us. I just love us women and I enjoy tremendously reading all of these posts. “We no longer need pride to drive us, because we’ve found something infinitely more fulfilling: purpose. He is the reason we are here!” Thank you Beth!
Linda
St. Paul, MN
Married
40s
1. I believe my two primary roots of insecurity are instability in the home and rejection.
2. A big insight for me was on page 66: "The residual ongoing sense of being unprotected can obliterate personal boundaries until our emotions are black and blue." I had never connected feeling unprotected as a child with my boundary issues. It's such a paradox: I grew up highly guarded emotionally, and yet at the same time struggle with maintaining healthy personal boundaries in a number of ways.
I was also struck by the discussion on perfectionism. Perfectionism is definitely an issue for me, and yes, it is bred in insecurity and pride. But it is also twisted up in knowing that we are to do our work as unto the Lord, and that we have the Holy Spirit in us to aid in all we do. So I struggle with where the acceptable line and degree of excellence falls. When is good really okay? When do we "deny ourselves" to push past tired or exhausted or busyness with family and commitments to achieve excellence, and when do we accept that we are human, with limitations – dust – and allow good to be our best?
ooops:
Heather
Ironton, MO
20's
married
Wow, reading these comments make me bawl… we are all so hurt and in need of our Savior's love so we can live more abundantly… I pray that Jesus heals our wounds of insecurity so that we can live lives FULL to the overflowing with HIS love and forgiveness; so that love and forgiveness can flow out to our lost world.
I so related to Anonymous on Feb 25th; I live in my head and my insecurity is wrapped up in PRIDE and YUCKY self-centeredness. My world revolves around ME instead of JESUS.
I want to be free to be HIS…I want to love him More so that I can love more!
This book is opening old, old, yucky places that need to be cleaned out and healed… thank you, thank you thank you!
1. I know that my root of insecurities comes from my childhood, my innocenace was taken at very young age.
2. But I know that GOD has a purpose for me and I sense HIS voice telling me, "you have experienced so much pain but it is not in vain. I know that through this wonderful study, He is teaching me that it is time to let it all go so that I and my family can experience HIS promises in our lives.
Clari
Brenham,TX
married
40's
1. Personal disposition is big and has likely been the main issue during the early years of my life. I believe I have had a variety of "flavors" over the years when searching for the main causes of insecurity. This leads to my second biggest reason-
2. the death of my parents when I was 27. They were the biggest cheerleaders in my family's life [husband and 2 children at that time] and it left such a gaping whole. They are singing with Jesus, and for that I'm glad, but the pain left behind is real. I've only really taken a closer look at this recently and it's been nearly 20 years ago. God is so good to walk us through and continue to mold us into the the sons and daughters he wants us to be….a resting place of total contentment.
Praise HIM!!
A comment on our culture – It make me mad!! I hate feeling the need to protect my children because we live in such an impure culture. Teaching them to love all people and yet be wary of the stranger……teaching them"true beauty" in a culture of lies. As you stated, there is much good as well, yet the media has changed our world in many ways, creating a jungle for us to walk through. And by God's grace…..we can!! And there will be beauty along the way : ) Also, the world of "comparison" is huge for women. I have wasted too many minutes/hours in my life in this world as well. I have family in Europe and from my small observation, the cultural pressure to be beautiful[in every way : )] is not as big, I know of women who seem much more comfortable in their own skin. Not sure, but both my husband and I have noticed this.
So, once again Beth, God has revealed some very important truths to you. Thanks for using your communication skills to bless women and help us out of this mess : ) love from MN
40's and happily married
1.Oh my Goodness – PRIDE is the first and foremost. I find myself thinking of how proud my daddy will be of me if I accomplish this, or how impressed someone will be if I have a good grasp on a bible concept. Pride, pride, pride. Shameful but real. Pride lets to the rejection aspect. I fear rejection and therefore I strive to keep it from entering my life. I don't make friends very easily but I am fun to be around. I keep my distance and don't get attached so that there is NO chance of being rejected. I dislike seeing the kids getting rejected or my mom and dad or even a strange kid on the playground. I hate rejection in any form for all life forms. It is a crazy thought process.
2. Back to PRIDE – It is on my mind to stop being prideful and I work on it everyday with the gentle prodding from God. God also is working on the rejection part by giving me a wonderful husband that accepts me in any shape, form or health status.
As far as hearing God talk to me – I can't say as I do hear Him but maybe someday (if I could just settle down and LISTEN)!!
Kelli
Colorado
Married
40
Boy do I have a primal fear that no one will take care of me. That statement just jumped off the page at me. Financial instability in my childhood home which has led to my parents separation as an adult child contributed to being financially obsessive. I also suffer from childhood rejection. Singled out by peers male and female for ridicule and dislike.
I was really touched by the 3 practical tools mentioned on 98 & 99 – a. recognize when we're overlaoding ourselves on media hybe and back off… b. deliberately expose ourselves to materials that edify the human soul c. look for ways in which we set ourselves up for failure!!
Karen
Washington
Married
30s
Ok, this may be TMI but I need to do this.
1. Root 1: Loss, when I was 9, my 8 yr old sister died of a brain tumor. Part of me was gone. My parents divorced when i was 12 and fight to this day 38 yrs later.
2. Root 2: Rejection:Father only came around to critize. I looked for love and became pregnant at 15, my father forced me to have an abortion. I felt like a murderer. This turned into self destruction. I begged God to let me die. Dad said no one would ever love me again. I believed him.
Question 2: I know that the roots of my insecurity are what cause me to always try to measure up to really unrealistic expections I put upon myself. I do KNOW God has gently spoken to me so many times, to lovingly reassure me that He is my Father. That He knows my heart. I struggle with enternalizing His love, I know it, but feel so undeserving. I stay in constant fear that I will let those I love down and will be rejected again. And ashamed to say that deep inside I even wonder how God can love a sinner like me. I need healing. And never admit to ANYONE that I carry all this inside. I am a church secretary, and everyone thinks I have it all together including my grown children and husband of 32 years.
Mimi
NC
40'S
Vicki
20's
Single
Dallas, TX
1) a. Rejection
b. Pride- it's very interesting how complex we are and how insecurity and pride can co-exist. Uhhhh! I HATE pride and I hate how I have the tendency to seek validation and significance from others and accomplishments rather than the One who has created me.
2). Beth, your writing of, "being addicted to dread" really resonated with me. I've noticed that the older I've gotten the more I live life just waiting for the other shoe to fall- I expect bad things, and it robs me of the joy of that moment. I love that you pointed out that because we live in a broken world, bad things do happen and it reinforces our theory. I've recently had my eyes open that there are times when I serve fear instead of serving God- and every time I don't trust Him I feed and provide for fear to grow in my heart. I love in the Esther series how you taught us to play out the "what-ifs" what power there is in that!!! It's an exercise I've put to lots of use!!
Missy
Tulare, CA
30's
married
1. Personal Disposition (so glad that is one of the roots…I was starting to worry!) and P-R-I-D-E!
2. First off, thank you Beth for pointing out that some of us are just made with a more sensitive disposition. I laughed out loud and then immediately called my twin sister and told her that WE ARE NORMAL! Beth's description of her own personal disposition on pg 84 could have been a description of me: "I feel EVERYTHING. My joys are huge and so are my sorrows. If I'm mad I'm really mad and if I'm despondent, I wonder how on earth I will go on." Unfortunately, women feel this unending need to be perfect so we try to hide our real feelings for fear of being labeled dramatic. Through Beth, God spoke to my heart telling me that He made me perfectly the way he wanted me to be and that my personal disposition is his craftmandship and I can stop fearing that I am too sensitive, too emotional or too dramatic. FEELING emotion (sadness or happiness) is not a sin…it is how I respond that will either bring God glory or shame Him. Which leads me to the humbling fact that although my personal disposition makes me "more vulnerable to insecurity" (pg 83) my pride turns my responses to my emotions into sinful responses. Beth wrote, "Confidence is driven by the CERTAINTY of God-given identity and the conviction that NOTHING can take that identity away." I have longed to be the humble creation God longs for me to be yet I struggle with pride in so many areas of my life (including being so prideful I considered my sensitivity as a weakness!) Beth's description of wrestling with insecurity because of pride hit my heart like a bullseye! I pray that I can be CERTAIN of who I am in Christ that I would be free from the bondage of pride humbly submitting to who God made me and embracing His will for my life! May my need to be needed, loved, wanted and affirmed be met by Christ alone. That I, too would stop my ego in its tracks with confidence whispering, "that's nothing but pride. God forgive me. Self, GET OVER IT!" (pg 107).
My big two were by far…
#1 Rejection
#2 Sudden Change
I actually think that two went hand in hand in my childhood. I moved around frequently as a child, having to change xschools and scenes often. When I experienced any form of rejection in any given location it would shatter my world b/c it was hard enough making friends in such short amounts of time. One of the greatest of lies I believed growing up was that I had to pretend to be someone I was not in order to make friends quickly b/c I did not know how long I was going to be there and I atleast wanted friends while I was there. In pretending to be somone I was not out of my own insecurutes, I ended up just being fake and most people did like me… not for long anyways.
The insight that I think really went to the bank for me out of chapters 5 and 6 would be found on pages 79 and 80, in the segment regarding "Drmatic Change"! I should really tupe out the last paragraph on 79 and all of 80, but in summarizing it… I AM TERRIFIED OF CHANGE AND PROBALLY MISS OUT ON THE GREATEST OF SEASONS OUT OF FEAR OF CHANGE!!
Two primary roots of insecuirty for me is: Unstable home & rejection
Dont talk about it.
This is life-bear it.
You are what you are (poor)
Your 1/2 white and 1/2 mexican
(you will never be the same as others)
This told to a 12 year old by a loving grandmother who thought she was "preparing" me for rejection as I grew up.
But God has been in my life always
and has guided me through the struggles even when I thought he could not love me the same as others who were more deserving.
I thought these hurts were buried deeper, but they have come to life on chapters 5 & 6. God is saying let go for good. I am working toward that goal, but not on my own–with his love I can do all things.
I cant believe I am sharing something so personal but I am ready to "let it go" through Gods
grace for me.
Louise
Sacramento,CA
married
slightly 60
Christine, age 30, married. 🙂
First of all this book rocks my face off. I know, the expression is weird, but sometimes it just fits. Thank you for this. Gosh, thank you for this.
I believe my 2 primary roots are Personal Disposition and Pride. Then again with Personal Disposition, I'm really talking about the fact that I've been insecure all my life, but that's not my disposition… aghhhh! I don't know all the subtleties of it but I do know that God is revealing great things here. Aaaaaand, Instability in the Home was hitting some nerves even though I don't generally think of having had an overtly unstable home. Hmmmm…) And yes, please accept my apologies for not obeying the rules… I'm all over the place here.
God is giving me a gracious glimpse into A LOT.
Instability in the Home: My home was rocked by layoffs and general financial woes. Also, I was sexually abused by my neighbor who also happened to be my cousin. My parents had no idea at the time. I told them when I eventually remembered at age 22. I wonder if deep down I blame them for not protecting me, thus the feelings of instability. Hmmmmm.
Personal Disposition: I'm pretty sensitive and I always felt like my Mom was frustrated with that. So I always felt that it was a weakness.
Pride: Ok, I literally almost didn't read this section. I DO NOT DEAL WITH PRIDE OK? Ha! Anyway, I always though pride to be a side effect of insecurity not a root, so this was eye opening. I definitely want to be the "the" not just an "a". Oh yeah. I'm still a bit confused here as to which comes first, to be honest. I'm still wrapping my head around this concept.
I'm loving this journey with you. Thank you.
Kris
40 years old
First of all, I would not have labeled myself insecure at all until reading this book. However, many things about myself that I sought change in, were cover ups for insecurity.
My roots of insecurity come from a childhood of instability in the home and dramatic change. I grew up with parents that alcohol was their first priority and moving the second. I moved 13 times to 5 different states by the time I was 10 years old. Every relationship I made was cut short, every home I grew fond of, we left. I live in the knowledge of the fact that the floor is going to drop at any moment and everything I know is going to be gone. I would have never related it to my childhood. I also a dear friend of perfectionism and a sister named self reliance.
I am so thankful for the knowledge I have gained fromt he few short chapters in this book. I have begun to identify things that I didn't know were there that a contributors to the things that I did know were there and desired to change.
Kimberly
Pleasant View, TN
32
Married
1) I believe that my two main roots of insecurity are rejection and personal disposition. I believe these two have been very co-dependent in making me who I am. I have been insecure from as far back as I am capable of remembering. I am the youngest child of four, with siblings 13, 9, and 7 years my elders. To no fault of their own because they were just being normal children for their age, I felt very rejected by them as early as I have memories. I wanted so much to be accepted by them, to hang out, and play with my older sisters and brother. Of course, they wanted their own life and space without their little sister tagging along. At such an early age, this to me was rejection from the people I love the most in the world. I was just left to hang out with mom, who has always been wonderful, and been there for me. To this day, she remains my best friend in the world. The irony of this is also the fact that this felt like rejection from my siblings causing me to feel unloved could not have been further from the truth. My older siblings loved me to death and were as proud as peaches when I was born, they were just being kids. Unfortunately, by the time I realized this, I was much past those impressionable years, and the pain had set in for life (until now). I remember my brother graduating high school when I was in the fourth grade. After graduation, he was leaving for his senior trip and picked me up to tell me goodbye. He hugged me and told me he loved me, and I swear that is the first time I knew he loved me. I carried his pictures to school with me and sat them on my desk for at least a week after that. The other ironic thing is that I am so very close to my siblings now as adults and they would be hurt for me if they knew what I just wrote. I say that my personal disposition is second and co-dependent because obviously I don't think this would have made such an impression in my life if I had not been born an extremely sensitive and compassionate person. I, like you Beth, feel everything. And again, like you, that is something I don't want to change. For example, I work in Radiation Oncology, and as you can imagine, what I see on a daily basis can be heart-wrenching. There have been many times over the years that I have just cried with patients because my heart is so heavy with them. I have been told that I just have to learn to "toughen up," but I don't want to stop feeling the way I feel for other people.
2) There are so many big things I feel God has been laying heavy on my heart through these 2 chapters. The first has to do with my daughter (step-daughter, actually, but I don't like to call her that). She is now 12 years old and I have been her mother since she was 5. Her mother tragically died in a car accident when she was 7 years old, which only added to the emotional turmoil she has had in her life. The list is long for things she has been through already at this early age that most people pray they never go through. Her father and I try very much to make sure she feels loved and secure, but I can't much say I don't understand her insecurity as I watch it rear its ugly head at times. I try very hard to encourage her to find peace and security in Christ, but I can't expect that she will have mastered this especially since most of us haven't at our age, and she is now at such a tender age. However, God has laid on my heart a new level of understanding for her, especially in reading about significant loss, and God has placed a heavy burden in me to teach her, as her mom, the security I am learning through this book. I also realized though that I cannot give her something I do not have, so I must start with myself. And for her and my 5 year old son, I am determined to do all I can (with the help of God) to provide a stable and loving home.
Love and blessings to you all, Siestas!
Katie
27
Russellville, AL
Married
This past week has been VERY HARD. I have certainly received more clarity concerning my insecurity than ever before (praise God!), but it is almost too much to take in.
My roots:
1st, Instability in the Home.
My dad was an alcoholic and was EXTREMELY harsh with his words. I looked up the terms mental and emotional abuse to make sure I wasn't exaggerating it being that bad, but I was wrong. It was that bad. I was totally "verbally beaten" as a child. I blocked a lot of it out, but God brought most of it back to the surface this week…and I wasn't ready for that hit. I heard things like "stupid", "worthless", "ugly" growing up. I grew up feeling like a financial burden, unwanted, not good enough, and I truly believed I couldn't do anything right. My mom was very quiet, we never had mother-daughter talks, she kind of was in her own world. My younger brother beat me up a lot, yet I was blamed for it. I felt unprotected. Mom and Dad never socialized nor did they let me, so I felt secluded. My only out was getting to stay with my Grandmother on the weekends and her dropping me off at church on Sundays. My older sister lucked up and got to live with my Grandma, and I would beg Grandma to take me too, but she wouldn't. I felt rejected. PLUS, I was a hyper-sensitive child and I believed and felt every single thing my daddy said to me. I am now 27 years old, WILL I EVER get past that!? I am sick to death of dealing with this one and it controlling my feelings about who I am (I thought I was past it after finally forgiving my dad a few years ago with God's help, but now it makes sense that God wants to restore my mindset there too).
2nd Root: PRIDE
Everything you wrote here hit me hard. Its even the root of the main insecurity I listed the first week: wanting to be "really good at something (job/ministry/career) and thinking that will fulfill me because currently I don't have a job/career or ministry (even though me not working right now is God's will)". That's me wanting to be "THE" best at something and not just "a" at something. I also see that during my childhood experience, my pride grew. I never felt gifted, special or like someone's favorite as a child, only second best. And that hurt my pride. One of my earliest memories is wishing to be in a different family.
Wow. I've been prideful my whole life. God help me.
Beth, just like you said, the cry of my heart is to be significant and noticed. Which is good if I find that in God alone. But, where I am messed up is feeling I have to do something great (job/career) before I can feel noticed or significant. Please pray that I let God's noticing me alone be enough for me to feel significant/important.
I also feel that God is wanting me to back off from my family for a while (they are all unbelievers and especially this week their unbelief is rubbing off on me). I feel bad about this, because I thought I needed to be around them and be a witness, but I am a wreck right now and it almost seems like my dad, even though I've forgiven him, is still "getting to me" like when I was little. I feel that this week, God is speaking to me about boundaries and putting my time with Him above them, no matter how mad they get at me for it. I'm afraid of all that I'm discovering this week, this is certainly bigger and harder than I expected it to be…but I'm looking forward to a BIG HEALING. Come, LORD, come.
Karen
NC
Married
1. Instability in the home and Significant Loss
2.God is dealing with me mightily through this book. Some roots were so deep and buried that I sobbed through parts of chapter 5 -both in sadness and hurt but more importantly in assurance of His promise in Isaiah 46:4.
I just can't wait to come to the other side of these issues – I eagerly anticipate all of us being free from this.
Nora
Shreveport, LA
30's married
Nothing like waiting until the last minute!
As I read 5 & 6 I was beginning to question my reasons for reading the book. None of the roots in chapter 5 hit home with me as I grew up in a pretty happy, healthy family environment But then in chapter 6, the word PRIDE jumped off the page in red flashing lights. That's it…that is the word, feeling, emotion I have been trying to pinpoint as my source of insecurity. The words on page 101 couldn't be more true for me – the exact words I have been searching for. I feel such a sense of peace that I could finally identify what has been plaguing me!
I am also doing your Revelation bible study with a fantastic, Christ centric group of friends and the Lord revealed himself to me as I read about my prideful nature and he is really putting it on my heart to be humble and be ever mindful that "He is the reason we are here".