Don’t We Wish Life Was a Whole Lot Tidier?

I love you guys in this blog community so much. And I hope to heaven it goes without saying that I love my extended family. Lord have mercy, oh so much. But every now and then we are challenged to figure out how to demonstrate a balanced love to all of the above. This is my attempt and it will no doubt fall short of the place I wish it would land. I remember Kay Arthur telling a group at a Deeper Still event (in the Q&A segment) how painful it is to be totally misunderstood by something said or quoted out of context. She said, “If I somehow get my words wrong, haven’t we been together long enough for you to know my heart??” It hit me so powerfully.


My hope is that, if I somehow miss the mark and don’t find that perfect balance between honoring this flock and honoring my family, I hope so much each entity has been with me long enough to know my heart. I have never been more honored by a series appearing on this blog than my beloved sister Gay’s 7 installments. They were, each one, completely genuine and written in complete honesty. And they all still stand as a testament to the inconceivable power, grace, and healing of God.


But her story goes on.


And so do the rest of ours.


And life is hard, the devil is mean, the flesh gets weak, but the love of God stays strong.


I simply write today to say that you will never waste a prayer on anyone around here. We are all flesh and blood, weak in our natural selves, but (many of us) deeply committed to our pursuit of Christ. We’re not playing a game here. He is everything to us. Our joy. Our Strength. Our Refuge when we’re hurting. Our Rock when we’re rocking.


We established this blog with an unwavering commitment to remaining real in our witness and in our encouragement and exhortation. Thus far, we have to my knowledge held onto that commitment for dear life and, goodness knows, that’s a praise to God alone. This post is just an attempt to continue in that vein. We want to stay real with you. And what’s real is that Gay’s story is still being written even amid a painful turn of events and by the faithful God who spoke her name before the foundation of the world.


And my story is still being written. And I know your hearts well enough to imagine that right now you would say, “And mine, too.”


I wish it was tidier but it’s not. Gay has suffered a hard blow. I am heartbroken for her and also just plain heartbroken. One of these days there will be a next chapter from Gay, whether it’s here or elsewhere. It will not negate a single one she’s written. It will simply add to. It also does not negate a single thing I wrote or shared in Mercy Triumphs. I love her so much. I know you love her, too. We do not condemn here. We do not shame. We believe that our God can conquer all, recover all, redeem all, and use all.


I wish we could have it more together around here sometimes, sisters, but we remain completely cast upon our Savior and we live one day at a time. I love you immensely and I thank you for your patience with us. We are works in progress, all of us. Would you be so gracious not to press too hard for more details right now? To tell you the truth, they’re in flux and less than clear anyway. Let’s just leave some space for the beautiful healing mercies of God and let most of our talk take place from our knees.


You mean something to me. Something down deep. I want so much to serve you responsibly.


With much love,









882 Responses to “Don’t We Wish Life Was a Whole Lot Tidier?”

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  1. 601
    Susan says:

    Iam sorry to hear about Gay’s hard times. Will be praying for her and you. We know you are real with us and love you for that. God is in control.

  2. 602
    Michelle says:

    Praying hard for you and Gay. We all live each day by the grace of God, do we not. Oh, He is so faithful with us. And you are right Beth – life is hard and the devil is mean. Thank you Jesus, mercy triumphs and a better day is coming. Love and hugs to you.

  3. 603
    kathypinkbicyclearkansas says:

    Oh Dear Beth and Gay,
    We love you both and God loves you and we will certainly be lifting Gay up in our prayers. I have said it so many times, this blog is safe!! Praising God for it, I know I have certainly felt safe in sharing.

  4. 604
    Susan says:

    Dearest Beth,
    I will be praying. Please know you don’t need to provide details, we know enough to pray for Gay and the family. Thank you for being real with us. We are all messed up in some way and our growth is never linear. You are loved so much!! I am also praying these comments will minister to you sweet sister.


  5. 605
    Tracie says:

    “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you TRUST IN HIM.” Romans 15:13 Hopelessness is NEVER from God. 🙂

  6. 606
    Sandy Schmid says:

    Please let Gay know she is loved.
    Loveland, CO

  7. 607
    april lopez says:

    Dear Beloved Sisters Beth & Gay,

    My heart and prayers are with you and your families. I love you both 🙂

  8. 608
    shannon conner says:

    whatever it is PLEASE keep fighting! satan knows his time is short xoxo

  9. 609
    Rhonda says:

    You’ve been such a wonderful blessing in my life. Part of the way you’ve helped me grow over the years is letting me see that we can be open about our pain and problems. We can take off our “perfect” church face and when we do our struggles can minister to others. I feel like you are a personal friend of mine and I’m hurting for your family and keeping you in my prayers. Love you.

  10. 610
    Amanda says:

    Praying for your family and especially for Gay. May God’s faithful tenderness be known today.

  11. 611
    Kami says:

    Dear Beth and Gay,
    I have been to my knees for you both! Sending all the love and encouragement possible through this keyboard and across the miles!
    Love Kami

    “Our God” by Chris Tomlin
    Water you turned into wine, opened the eyes of the blind there’s no one like you none like You!
    Into the darkness you shine out of the ashes we rise there’s no one like you none like You!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!

    Into the darkness you shine out of the ashes we rise there’s no one like you none like You!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!

    And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
    And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
    And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
    And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
    What could stand against.

  12. 612
    joy French says:

    Praying! Love you guys/girls:)


  13. 613
    Karen says:

    Siesta Mama
    Praying for you, sweet Gaye, and your precious family. Thank you for being so REAL to us and offering encouragement and love. I pray all these prayers will bring encouragement and love to you, too!

  14. 614
    Kathy says:

    You are loved and appreciated along with your loved ones and those at LPM Your honesty and willingness to be “REAL” in your ministry is what touches our hearts and souls in the Body of Christ.

    May you and yours receive the mercy, love and encouragement that you so generously share with us. May the shed blood of our Savior pour over you and yours with his healing balm

    Lots of love and prayers

  15. 615
    Steadfast and Faithful says:

    Reading this took my breath away and my heart has begun to ache deep within. What a yucky emotion! Ya’ll are family, we are unified by the Holy Spirit. Jesus is our peace, that too was our free gift. Hitting the floor and calling on God to keep His promise to hide Gay in the cleft of The Rock! Love sincerely, because He first loved us.
    Steadfast and Faithful

  16. 616
    Teresa says:

    I remember my dad saying how over the years if he preached on certain subjects, he could be sure the devil would tempt him on it in the coming weeks. And I would bet satan worked extra hard on your sweet sister after sharing her powerful testimony. Praying for you Gay!

  17. 617
    theHarborMom says:

    I will be praying for your family. Thank you for your honesty and walking that amazing line of being vulnerable and real without having to be specific. I am grateful for that model as I try to do the same as a wife of a pastor.

    We love you for real, Beth.

  18. 618
    Pam in San Diego says:


    words are hard to come by when we watch those we love in so much pain. In our pain, our hearts hurt and we pray through tears to our Abba. Thankfully, He hears our groans and holds us and those we love near His chest..Beth, thank you for your vulnerability…praying for you and your sister at this time..Pam in San Diego

  19. 619
    trixie says:

    I live in Northeastern Pennsylvania. I read this blog post for first time, at work, at 7:30pm on Thursday 5/10/12. I began shedding quiet tears (customers thought I was nuts)and praying for our dearest sister Gay. And began praising God for what He is doing for her and in her right now. I walked outside, for something unrelated, realized there was a steady, gentle rain (not in forecast), all the while continuing to pray, pray, & praise for Gay. I looked into the sky and saw a RAINBOW!! A full-on, complete and very bright RAINBOW! It was for Gay!!! God’s promises never fail!!!! How awesome is that??? He sent Gay a rainbow here in PA!! Praise His Name!!!

  20. 620
    Debbie Castro says:

    Beth, Thank you so much for your transparency. I so appreciate that. I am so very grateful for your ministry, and I am praying for you and your family.

  21. 621
    Amy says:

    Praying for Gay and all of you! And taking a stand for Gay against that nasty devil! And also praying for the sound of rocks being dropped to the ground as Jesus stands up for Gay and restores her.

  22. 622
    Kristi Walker says:

    Tight, strong (arms wrapped all the way around) hugs to each and every one of you. It doesn’t have to be tidy to feel the love in those kinds of hugs!

    We love you Beth, Gay, LPM ladies and every siesta on here!


  23. 623
    Sherry says:


    My heart aches with you. Sometimes it’s easier to go through something yourself than to watch a loved one suffer a hard blow. As you know, we must remember that God is faithful in our times of troubles and afflictions.

    What a beautiful sight to see the outpouring of love and prayers from this community of sweet sisters! Heaven is being flooded today with petitions on Gay’s behalf and for you and your family. I, too, love you and thank God for you. You’ll never know this side of heaven how much you have touched my life. Praying, too!

    Love you!

  24. 624
    Carol says:

    Praying for your family and Gay! She is deeply loved by all and God will most definately walk her threw this valley, with His love and grace! He is Almighty and Sovereign! My heart hurts for you! Will pray for healing and strength.

  25. 625
    OceanMommy says:

    The words to a powerful worship song came to mind as I read this.

    “Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm.
    Oh no you never let go. Every high and every low.
    Oh no,you never let go, Lord you never let go of me.”

    Love and prayers,

  26. 626
    Kathy says:

    Beth, you are so honest and genuine and that is more of a blessing to God’s children than you will ever know. I suffer from the “perfection” disease and know it is a sin. Jesus saved us all from that but Satan keeps trying to make me think that I am still not good enough no matter how hard I try. Your honesty with your friends and family help me keep things real. I want to be as genuine as you are and have no false pretense in my life and you remind me, as well as the other sisters on this blog, that God truly loves us all, insecurities, faults, addictions, pretense … God is using you in a powerful way to help all of us:) We all love you!

  27. 627
    Carol Bruntlett says:

    Dear Beth
    Want you to know how I love you first of all and when one part of the body of Christ hurts we all hurt and I do hurt for you
    I will lifting Gay up to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords Jesus loves her so much
    I will pray for you as you minister to her
    We love you so much here in Seistaville
    You are real with us and I so much appreciate that
    I love you
    And know you are being prayed for and so is Gay

  28. 628
    Tricia says:

    Beth and Gay,

    Prayers up for you and your family. No matter the circumstances, we are not made whole until we are with Him. I pray that you love yourself enough to accept the grace He gives freely. He does not love you any less, and neither do I.

    Thank you for generously sharing your heart to seek Jesus.

  29. 629
    rebecca says:

    I just want to say I am so praying for you all. How hard life can be. It is like for me one battle after another and it gets tried and I fall so far down. And I try to remember that is were I need to lean on god. This is were I need to let him have control this is so hard for me. I don’t know what is going on it doesn’t matter. I know its just battles that need to be won. But sometimes its just hard it just is hard. I love u all. Praying

  30. 630
    God's not-so-little-Dutch girl says:

    Praying for all of you! You are all loved so much!

  31. 631
    Margie says:

    Much love to you and yours, Beth. Love and respect and prayers….always. We take our turn in the blender, as it were, and when it finally stops, we get up and move on. God’s grace to us will never cease to amaze me.

    BTW…. I hadn’t known that Christy Nockels had more albums out until you made reference to it somewhere on here. Thank you. 2 are on their way in the mail and I can’t wait!


  32. 632
    Pamela McDonald says:

    Dear Beth,

    Praying for Gay and your entire family. Thank you for allowing us into your lives that we may be able to pray for you. His love is everlasting!

  33. 633
    Barb Lanktree says:

    I was looking @ photos on weather underground and this one reminded me of a story Beth told about walking around the house carrying Amanda on one leg and Melissa on the other calling out asking where they were. this picture made think of that & smile. Neh.8:10c “the JOY of the Lord is our strength.” Hope this brings at least a smile. And a praise the LORD I’m not this Mama.

  34. 634
    Hannah says:

    With tear-filled eyes, I am praying for Gay…that our God would conquer for her. Bless her, Lord. Amen.

  35. 635
    Nancy says:

    Gay’s story is a story of grace. Then and now. She’s just like the rest of us-Forgiven! Every day is a new day-Paul had to die daily. Who are we to say one has fallen? To one it is wrong to eat certain foods, etc. Let’s ask ourselves: What is my ‘drug’ of choice? Starbucks? Shopping? Searching the web?

    Right now, I pray Gay is safe and enjoying each moment of grace. None of us deserve it but God gave it freely to all of us.

  36. 636
    Linda says:

    Oh, we all hope to move forward full steam ahead, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen like we hope it would. The enemy is up to his usual tricks, but greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. God isn’t through with any of us yet, thankfully. I will definitely pray for Gay and the whole family.

    Shall we call for a fast, Siestas? I think this merits one.

  37. 637
    Wilma says:


    In His Love,

  38. 638
    Shelley says:

    My heart is overwhelmed for you all … that’s all I can say …

  39. 639
    Pam says:


    I can’t even tell you how you have changed my life, your book Get out of that Pit, literally saved my life and my marraige.

    Praying blessing for you and your family, you are a blessing in all of your quirky little ways and girl I can’t wait to dance in Heaven with you!!!

  40. 640
    Cheryl says:

    Praying Psalm 20.

    Praying that when the dust clears, we’ll see her Standing.

  41. 641
    Sandy Bowers says:

    I’d say you came to the right place for support and prayer! Your siestas LOVE you, UNCONDITIONALLY, sweet thing. And we know your heart, don’t you worry about that. Siestaville has a party line to God right now. Can you feel it — AMAZING? I love you so!

  42. 642
    annabelle says:

    oh mama,
    just when i’m feeling like the mess i’ve created is
    unbearable, you come along side me (and Gay) and
    remind us that HE alone can bear us up on His wings.
    you have **NO IDEA** what a blessing your transparency
    is to the rest of us slogging along…
    thank you.

  43. 643
    lynda rickey says:

    Beth, First I love you and yours more than words can say and you better believe that I will pray for ya’ll each time you cross my heart. I know that Jesus is both powerful and merciful and Savior indeed! Just finishing a Bible study called Sonship. Talks about how we all need the gospel everyday we breathe on this planet. And more importantly, that God sees Jesus when He looks at His children and feels great love for them and sings over them and that includes you and me and Gay and I’m forever in love with Jesus for that. Lastly, I love you.

  44. 644
    Velma says:

    Love and prayers.

  45. 645
    Emma says:


    At this moment my heart aches for you for a couple of reasons. First of all, because there are people out there that expect you, and your family by association, to be perfect and that’s so incredibly not fair for you. And, secondly, because it’s so hard to watch the ones we love so much to suffer; whether it’s because of consequences of their own doing or someone else’s. It doesn’t matter. It still hurts.

    I don’t know the details of Gay’s situation but it doesn’t matter. Even though I don’t know you personally, I feel like I do know your heart because of how you let us in. No matter what format I happen to be receiving your teaching, what I see is a beautiful example of a woman who, more than anything, loves the Lord with all that she has and is being obedient in serving and teaching her sisters/daughters in Christ. Thank you for that.

    While reading this, I was reminded of something that I read in John last night. At the end of verse 1 it says: “Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.” He knew the end was near. He knew some of the disciples, His closest friends were about to do the unthinkable and betray and deny Him. And still He LOVED them.
    And He loves us still.

    Sweet Beth, if we are to love like Jesus loved, then we love you and Gay until the end. We have no right to expect perfection of anyone and we’re naive if we don’t think the Enemy will try to attack those who are so desperately trying to serve Him as you and Gay have.

    Praying for you, Gay, and your family,

  46. 646
    FloridaLizzie says:

    Beth, when you shared that last chapter of lecture in the James study, you touched my heart by sharing that life is messy and families are messy. Even Jesus’ earthly family was messy. And so is yours. And so is mine.

    But God’s grace is there for the messes. Will be praying for all of you and for Gay. It’s not over. The Lord has something better ahead, and you will have thousands of people praying with you.

    We love you dearly.

  47. 647
    Snowbyrrd says:

    Know you and your family are loved!

  48. 648
    Lisa says:

    I am praying for you all!
    Love your dear sister in Christ

  49. 649
    Linda says:

    Beth and Gay and family,
    Life is so hard. The only way to survive until Glory is to lift up and hold up each other and stay on our knees in prayer. That’s why it is called a family in Christ. We are all there for each other. Praying this trial is a short one. May God hold you under His wings of protection.

  50. 650
    Toni says:

    Thanks so much for being real! We live in such a disposable plastic world… warms my heart to be around people who are genuine. For heaven sake, we all do have stumbles, all equal before our Lord, and between us and the Lord is what really matters. What a different world we would have if everyone focused on intercessory prayer for the spiritual warfare we all face and not details. Thanks for being such a wonderful example Beth, I pray you and your family the best of everything our precious Lord has to offer. Love in Him

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