Don’t We Wish Life Was a Whole Lot Tidier?

I love you guys in this blog community so much. And I hope to heaven it goes without saying that I love my extended family. Lord have mercy, oh so much. But every now and then we are challenged to figure out how to demonstrate a balanced love to all of the above. This is my attempt and it will no doubt fall short of the place I wish it would land. I remember Kay Arthur telling a group at a Deeper Still event (in the Q&A segment) how painful it is to be totally misunderstood by something said or quoted out of context. She said, “If I somehow get my words wrong, haven’t we been together long enough for you to know my heart??” It hit me so powerfully.


My hope is that, if I somehow miss the mark and don’t find that perfect balance between honoring this flock and honoring my family, I hope so much each entity has been with me long enough to know my heart. I have never been more honored by a series appearing on this blog than my beloved sister Gay’s 7 installments. They were, each one, completely genuine and written in complete honesty. And they all still stand as a testament to the inconceivable power, grace, and healing of God.


But her story goes on.


And so do the rest of ours.


And life is hard, the devil is mean, the flesh gets weak, but the love of God stays strong.


I simply write today to say that you will never waste a prayer on anyone around here. We are all flesh and blood, weak in our natural selves, but (many of us) deeply committed to our pursuit of Christ. We’re not playing a game here. He is everything to us. Our joy. Our Strength. Our Refuge when we’re hurting. Our Rock when we’re rocking.


We established this blog with an unwavering commitment to remaining real in our witness and in our encouragement and exhortation. Thus far, we have to my knowledge held onto that commitment for dear life and, goodness knows, that’s a praise to God alone. This post is just an attempt to continue in that vein. We want to stay real with you. And what’s real is that Gay’s story is still being written even amid a painful turn of events and by the faithful God who spoke her name before the foundation of the world.


And my story is still being written. And I know your hearts well enough to imagine that right now you would say, “And mine, too.”


I wish it was tidier but it’s not. Gay has suffered a hard blow. I am heartbroken for her and also just plain heartbroken. One of these days there will be a next chapter from Gay, whether it’s here or elsewhere. It will not negate a single one she’s written. It will simply add to. It also does not negate a single thing I wrote or shared in Mercy Triumphs. I love her so much. I know you love her, too. We do not condemn here. We do not shame. We believe that our God can conquer all, recover all, redeem all, and use all.


I wish we could have it more together around here sometimes, sisters, but we remain completely cast upon our Savior and we live one day at a time. I love you immensely and I thank you for your patience with us. We are works in progress, all of us. Would you be so gracious not to press too hard for more details right now? To tell you the truth, they’re in flux and less than clear anyway. Let’s just leave some space for the beautiful healing mercies of God and let most of our talk take place from our knees.


You mean something to me. Something down deep. I want so much to serve you responsibly.


With much love,









882 Responses to “Don’t We Wish Life Was a Whole Lot Tidier?”

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  1. 101
    laura says:

    I am truly just plain heartbroken for you! For Gay! For the situation that is unclear. Siestas don’t need details to recognize pain, and before the eyelids can blink we end up on our knees before the only One who truly sees, knows, hears, heals and forgives. Praying, and trusting Him to turn anguish into joy for your family.

  2. 102
    Dawn Winslow says:

    Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me(us).
    Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me(us).
    And on and on and on and on it goes.
    For You overwhelm and satisfy my soul.
    And I(we) never ever have to be afraid,
    This One thing remains,
    This One thing remains,

    I Love you and this community so!! And God loves more!!!
    Thank you for the chance to pray for dear Gay and your ENTIRE family.

    In Prayer ~~ dawn

  3. 103
    Sheila Brock says:

    Sometimes the pressure of success is just as tough as the pressure of failure when you are not emotionally equipped to handle great joy or pain. Self control turns on a dime, sometimes for no reason at all. All I know is for you and your dear sister to be good to yourselves. Don’t “over think” the situation. God has mercifully not granted us control. The sun will shine, babies will make us smile and God’s peace will return to you both in HIS time. A southern sister…

  4. 104
    Nicole says:

    Miss Beth,

    I have been out of the habit of blog-reading for the last couple of years as I had my first baby two years ago and I find I just dont have the time to read blogs like I used to. But I just so happened to stroll over here today to see what’s new at the LPM blog (I’ve kept up with you on Life Today and have heard you talk about Gay’s story) and I am so thankful to have this opportunity to pray for your sister and your family.

    I am an addict and am in recovery for two process addictions with 139 days of sobriety in one and 44 day of sobriety in another. I know the rugged, rocky road of recovery and I know that its a journey not just for the addict, but for everyone their life touches. I also know that Jesus Christ is so much bigger than our hurts, habits, and hang-ups. All believing Christians are still sinners in a process of sanctification and it just so happens that some of our sins are more messy and obvious than others, but at the end of the day we all have idols that need to be cast down as we worship Jesus Christ alone. Addicts are not alone in our need to repent and recover from sin… this is something that all Christians must do their whole lives.

    Whatever blow that has hit your sister, she is still all of our sister in Christ and she is not outside the grace of God and nothing she does or that has happened to her can affect her standing before Jesus. I am praying that whatever the temporary circumstance, the reality of her eternal identity in Christ will be the rock that gets her, and all of you (and all of us) through these trials of life.

    I am glad I stopped by. I will be praying. Thank you for sharing your life and your faith with us.

  5. 105
    Barb Rowe says:

    Dearest Beth, Gay and all who love you,

    I will be praying more fervently and specifically that whatever has happened God will “Do it again” He is so faithful and merciful He will heal the hurts and “right” things once again. We love you so much for you honesty and open hearts and lives. After all, we are all sinners saved by grace and we are ALL one wrong decision away from catastrophe without keeping a tight grip on our Lord and eyes locked as tightly as they can be. And we have all made the wrong choice and this is why we need each other.

    Thank you for being real and teaching God’s Truth to us even on days like today.

    As one whose biological mother has gone to be with Jesus I am so thankful for spiritual Mamas far and near to keep things real for me. Keeping you held up in prayer and healing for this situation. You are loved.

  6. 106
    Sandra says:

    Beth, perhaps the Lord had Gay share so widely and capture the attention of so many here so that she would have an even greater army of sisters pulling for her now!!! So many more of us are praying for her now that her story is dear to our hearts as well.

    I hurt for you and Gay and pray for a even more beautiful and radiant restoration.

  7. 107
    Lynn Kelly says:

    Praying for you all and Gay especially. I have several friends at Mercy Street who know her and praise her progress. A hard blow is indeed, HARD. But recoverable. So all the prayers will be there to lift her up, up, up. Dear Gay, please know that our God is a powerful, loving God who wants you healed with every fiber of His being at this moment! Trust in that.

  8. 108
    Sherry Fisher says:

    Lord we lift up Gay and Beth to you.
    first of all, we know that you look into our hearts for goodness and genuine love. None of us are perfect. We asl that you be with Beth and Gay as Gay continues to fight this battle with Alcohol. Give her the encouragement and self esteem to perserver and to know that you are with her and the LPM commuity is lifting her up in prayer. May she feel the presence of God’s peace and know that he never gives up hope on us… and that he uses our weaknesses and imperfections to reveal his mercy and unfailing strenght. Hang tight baby… tomorrow’s comming and it’s a new day!!! It is in our darkest moments that we see the light of christ shine most brightly!

  9. 109
    Michelle Carter says:

    Satan is so smart and knows just when to attack. I am praying for Gay and for you. My small group just finished Mercy Triumphs. It held a powerful message for many in my group – including me. I will be praying for God’s Mercy to triumph in your family during this season as well. Blessings to you and yours!

  10. 110
    Tammy says:

    Gay’s installments spoke to me so deeply. God used her words to work a change in my heart and life. I’m so thankful she shared. I’m praying for her now. God will continue to use her and her story. My 2nd favorite bible study (2nd only to believing God) is Brave by Angela Thomas. She says “the brave woman picks up all her broken pieces and places them in the strong hands of God” “brokenness causes pain. stand in your pain and God who is near will come and make you brave” be brave sweet sisters. be brave thru Him.

  11. 111
    Jean says:

    Praying for Gay and your family. No judgement – no condemnation – just fervent prayer. Love you and your family!

  12. 112
    Carolyn says:

    We aare living in times where we must all come together and pray without ceasing for our family and friends and the world. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but God comes that we may have life and life more abundantly.
    My family has been under attack by the enemy, but God gave me 1Peter5:6-7…cast all your cares. I will be in prayer for my dear siesta and put my prayers at the feet of Jesus.
    I am asking for all my siestas to pray for my daughter, who have had her son remove from her home because of a physical altercation she had with his dad a few weeks ago. This precious 11 year old has been placed in our home with me his Nana and Papa. I love him so much, but I pray for my daughter who is facing felony charges for her action. I share this with you because we need your prayers. So as we are praying for our dear siesta Gay, please continue to pray for my 31 year old daughter Tamara.
    I need your prayers to help me with my worries, but it seems so difficult.

    • 112.1
      KimDotJoy (doo-dah) says:

      I just said a prayer for your family, Carolyn. Even though we do not know each other you are a sister in Christ and I want you to know I care.

  13. 113
    Michelle says:

    My eyes are filled w/tears as I read the post. Your vulnerability to the blog community doesn’t go unnoticed. I appreciate your “realness”…I know Gay, you and your family are hurting. Praying God will bind these broken hearts…His word tells us that He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit…He cares. He loves. He knows.

  14. 114
    alta blake says:

    Beth, with tears and heavy heart..I pray…Jeremiah’s words
    “Ah, Sovereign LORD, you made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for YOU.” I’m believing God!!!
    Love you dear heart.
    Simply His,

  15. 115
    Amy says:

    Praying for all. And believing the best. Not stones to throw

  16. 116
    Deana says:

    Oh my dear sweet Miss Beth, how I love you and your sister and your daughters and well, everyone you write about. Yes, I read your sisters stories and nothing that happens can that testimony away. I won’t press for I know that path that we so helplessly – but not hopelessly – walk. God has a name for you child – you ARE His Beloved as is she. Our life is a tapestry woven together by the hands of a loving and merciful God. Sometimes in the midst of things, we only see the tangled strings and knots on the back, but know that the front is being created ever more beautiful than before. With much love and much hope in Him your sister in Christ.

  17. 117
    karen lipford says:

    i know your heart beth. that’s why there is staying power. you have the heart of Jesus. that’s why i think you’re my best friend and we’ve never even met. that’s why i couldn’t quit thinking about you or LPM the other day when our charter busses drove through houston, traveling from NW Arkansas to Galveston on a school sponsored GT trip. i wanted to see houston first baptist, i wanted to see your old house, i wanted to see y’alls office. we KNOW your heart. we love you AND your family.

  18. 118
    Phyllis says:

    My heart breaks with you and my prayers are with you and your family at this time. I, too, have walked a similar road of ups and downs as my share-the-bedroom-growing-up sister struggled with chemical addiction for years as an adult. The gut wrenching emotions of it all tear your heart to pieces….over and over and over. I understand the suffering. In some of the lowest times, I remember someone telling me, “There ain’t no dog on that leash.” And…it helped me to remember the One who IS in control and on His throne when everything seems so out of control. Hope it helps you, too. Love you so much, sister! Thank you for ministering to me so many times in the last couple of decades! I so want to help you, too!

  19. 119
    Mimi says:

    Thank you for your honesty. Sending love and prayers to her and your family. xo

  20. 120
    Karen says:

    When one suffers we all suffer…we are one body in Christ and so we are feeling this with you, dearest Beth, and are on our knees lifting up your precious sister, our precious sister, Gay, whom we love. May she know, right where she is, that she has not now, nor ever will escape the grip of God’s love and grace. And we join as one interceding for her, as well as for your heart and your family’s, Beth, because your sister is precious to us too. Jesus will have the final word in the story of Gay’s life, and our own. He alone is the Author and Finisher of our faith! Amen.
    This comes with a heartful of love and compassion, and powerful prayer on Gay’s behalf. Thank you as always for taking us into your confidence and all you mean to us, Beth. We love you so much! You have had an indelible influence on my life as you have taught and strengthened me in my faith, ever since “A Heart Like His”…and I’m talking the “big hair” version!
    Love and hugs to you, my sister.

  21. 121
    Lindsay says:

    Praying fervently and hopefully – trusting in the one who brings forth new life in us day in and day out!!

  22. 122
    Jane says:

    Praying for all of you during this difficult season. Thank you for your authenticity.

  23. 123
    dchastain says:

    You know we love you and your entire family. Gayle shared her story at the perfect time with us, now we can all lift her up before the Father. So sorry, I know your heart is breaking….much love for her and your family!!!

  24. 124
    Casey says:

    We all fall, we all fail. How we help each other up is what makes us. I am sure it is difficult to find a balance of ministry and family. Many have been blessed by your sister’s testimony and will continue to be blessed. I pray that you feel comforted by this community of siesta’s. We love you all!

  25. 125
    Robin Wight says:

    Praying for Gaye and your entire family right now. Satan is big, but God is bigger….love you all.

  26. 126
    Tracey says:


  27. 127
    Margie by the Sea says:

    We know that God’s mercies are new every morning and that we serve a faithful God. My prayer is that a new day will dawn and that Gay will feel once again His loving arms around her; comforting, shielding and protecting her from all the wiles of this world and the enemy who is pursuing her.
    Prayers for you too, Beth, and for all those who love Gay, that God will give you the strength you need and quiet hearts that will seek their rest in Him as you wait for His plan to unfold.
    Telling the truth is what we do with family. Thank you dear Siesta Mama, for trusting us with this. We can only love you more because of it.

  28. 128
    Jess says:

    Loving you and your precious family!

  29. 129
    Carol says:

    Beth, not only does God’s love surround you now, but you are held by the hearts of thousands of women who love you so much. I cherish Gay’s willingness to share her story with us. I’ll pray, too, for Gay & for you & for all those who love you both.

  30. 130
    Julie Gutierrez says:

    Oh Beth,

    You are right… we are here and we love you and your family all so dearly. I can’t write this without sharing tears right along with you but let my heart echo what yours is already beating GOD IS FAITHFUL.

    Thank you so much for your real, precious, vulnerable, honest self. Your story and that of your sister Gays give me so much hope and encouragement and that will not change.

    I commit to continuing to pray for all of you! Mercy Triumphs!!

    With so much love,


  31. 131
    Sarah Elizabeth says:

    Dear Miss Beth & Gay,
    Please know that your vulnerability is a beautiful thing and I am inspired by it. You are dearly loved by us and also by a Father who hears your every cry and catches every tear that falls.
    Much love,
    Sarah Beth

  32. 132
    Anita says:

    I love you Beth Moore! I am just so sorry that you and your family are understandably so sad right now. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It looks like you’re going to have to sleep with your Bible on your head for awhile! Just trying to make you smile a little bit but I did love that you did that. Praying for your all of you!

  33. 133
    Shawna says:

    Heartbroken for Gay and you. Praying.

  34. 134
    Gayla says:

    I am praying. You and Gay are held in His infinitely merciful and loving arms! Oh how I’m praying!

  35. 135

    Sweet Siesta Mama,

    I love you and Ms. Gay so much. We siestas are rallying, praying and believing God over this bend in the road. He is *mighty* to save.

    ~ rachel ~

  36. 136
    jackie from mo says:

    oh siesta mama. life is so stinkin’ hard. i feel it to my bones. but if it were easy, would i appreciate my mighty Savior and long for heaven so much? no. i would not.
    praying for you and all your family and the lpm ladies right now… right now.
    much love and grace to you and to dear Gay.

  37. 137
    kimberly mason says:

    praying for you and gay and your family! i have always believed that the devil fights harder against those doing what they are called to do! she was doing good and by God’s grace she will do it again! She is more than a conqueror! (if you knew me you would know i can’t spell – did i spell that wrong?) please don’t ever feel condemnation because of the amount of time you spend on the blog – is that what you meant? we love you and know that you are busy and we are too! the way i see it: we’re just old friends able to pick up where we left off! God bless you dear Beth! God bless you Gay! Love, Kimberly

  38. 138
    Brittany says:

    Beth- praying for both of y’all. I love you both. Oh so much.

  39. 139
    Mary Watkins says:

    So sad to hear your news. Without a doubt there are Siestas from one end of this blog to the other praying for you all. May God bring healing to Gay and to all of you who are close to her.

    May the God of all comfort hold you close to His chest during these difficult days.

    Please know you are loved!

  40. 140
    Tracy says:

    So very sorry to read that. You’re right…life is hard and often messy and painful. Please know immediate,heartfelt prayers going out to Gay, to you and your family. We love and respect you all the more for your honesty and openness. Believing with you this is merely a stepping stone…

  41. 141
    Natalie McGary says:

    Oh Beth…this news hurts my heart. I Will pray for her and for you.

  42. 142
    Sarah Marion says:

    So sorry for the setback. We will be praying for your family. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy!

  43. 143
    Sibyl says:

    Life is hard but God is faithful. I am reminded of Romans 8:37 – “…in all these things we are more than conquers through Him who loved us.” i am praying for you and your family.

  44. 144
    Elaine says:

    Beth ~ I cannot imagine how hard that was for you to write. At this moment, there are tears spilling from my eyes and my heart hurts. Although I don’t know exactly why, I believe it’s because that’s the way God created us, sisters in Christ ~ a kindred spirit. Possibly because of how God has profoundly used you in my life and my walk with Him and I know you are hurting and, well, when a sister hurts, I hurt. Much love to you and your family and I am praying for Gay and you and all involved and knowing (from experience) what Satan meant for evil, God will use it for good.

  45. 145
    Connie Hein says:

    Praying for all of you Beth, love you so and am thankful for your honesty and openess with all of us WIll continue to lift you up! Mercy Triumphs!!!God Bless!

  46. 146
    Betty says:

    No details are ever needed. Our God, the Mighty One who sees all and knows all hears our prayers for Gay. He already has the details, past – present – future. The Spirit aids us in praying. Love and peace to you and her

  47. 147
    Yvette says:

    I read your words and your heartbreak became mine. Praying for Gay and for you.

  48. 148
    Michele says:

    I so hate when you hurt. No idea what happened, but I don’t doubt for one second that the enemy is pulling out all the stops these days against Gay because her testimony is helping others.

    I so love it when you share your heart with us, even (or especially) when you don’t include details. We know that God knows exactly what is going on and how He will use it for good. You know we love you and care deeply about you, and we are praying for you and your family.

    Ἡ χάρις τοῦ κυρίου Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ μετὰ τοῦ πνεύματος ὑμῶν.

  49. 149
    Vanessa says:

    While I’ve never met either one of you face to face, I love you both dearly. You and Gay are in my prayers.

    “You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”. Psalm 32:7 NIV

  50. 150
    Linda says:

    Prayers for all of you.

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