Don’t We Wish Life Was a Whole Lot Tidier?

I love you guys in this blog community so much. And I hope to heaven it goes without saying that I love my extended family. Lord have mercy, oh so much. But every now and then we are challenged to figure out how to demonstrate a balanced love to all of the above. This is my attempt and it will no doubt fall short of the place I wish it would land. I remember Kay Arthur telling a group at a Deeper Still event (in the Q&A segment) how painful it is to be totally misunderstood by something said or quoted out of context. She said, “If I somehow get my words wrong, haven’t we been together long enough for you to know my heart??” It hit me so powerfully.


My hope is that, if I somehow miss the mark and don’t find that perfect balance between honoring this flock and honoring my family, I hope so much each entity has been with me long enough to know my heart. I have never been more honored by a series appearing on this blog than my beloved sister Gay’s 7 installments. They were, each one, completely genuine and written in complete honesty. And they all still stand as a testament to the inconceivable power, grace, and healing of God.


But her story goes on.


And so do the rest of ours.


And life is hard, the devil is mean, the flesh gets weak, but the love of God stays strong.


I simply write today to say that you will never waste a prayer on anyone around here. We are all flesh and blood, weak in our natural selves, but (many of us) deeply committed to our pursuit of Christ. We’re not playing a game here. He is everything to us. Our joy. Our Strength. Our Refuge when we’re hurting. Our Rock when we’re rocking.


We established this blog with an unwavering commitment to remaining real in our witness and in our encouragement and exhortation. Thus far, we have to my knowledge held onto that commitment for dear life and, goodness knows, that’s a praise to God alone. This post is just an attempt to continue in that vein. We want to stay real with you. And what’s real is that Gay’s story is still being written even amid a painful turn of events and by the faithful God who spoke her name before the foundation of the world.


And my story is still being written. And I know your hearts well enough to imagine that right now you would say, “And mine, too.”


I wish it was tidier but it’s not. Gay has suffered a hard blow. I am heartbroken for her and also just plain heartbroken. One of these days there will be a next chapter from Gay, whether it’s here or elsewhere. It will not negate a single one she’s written. It will simply add to. It also does not negate a single thing I wrote or shared in Mercy Triumphs. I love her so much. I know you love her, too. We do not condemn here. We do not shame. We believe that our God can conquer all, recover all, redeem all, and use all.


I wish we could have it more together around here sometimes, sisters, but we remain completely cast upon our Savior and we live one day at a time. I love you immensely and I thank you for your patience with us. We are works in progress, all of us. Would you be so gracious not to press too hard for more details right now? To tell you the truth, they’re in flux and less than clear anyway. Let’s just leave some space for the beautiful healing mercies of God and let most of our talk take place from our knees.


You mean something to me. Something down deep. I want so much to serve you responsibly.


With much love,









882 Responses to “Don’t We Wish Life Was a Whole Lot Tidier?”

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  1. 651
    Janice Pitchford says:

    Love and prayers for all of you, especially Gay.

  2. 652
    Melissa says:


    I cried when I read this post- You and your family are in my prayers. We have never met, but like many on this blog, I love you and hurt with you. Thank you for being so stinking honest and real. I pray for your family as I pray for my own. Addiction hits close to home for me, as it does for so many of us.

    I love how you pointed out in the bible study for James, “But he gives us more grace.” My tears flowed. They flow still.

  3. 653
    Sparki2003 says:

    Praying for you, Miss Gay, Miss Beth and your families !

    And, yes, I agree with Miss Beth’s “5 Statement Pledge of Faith” over this difficult situation.

    In Christ’s Love,


  4. 654
    Heather Smith says:

    Praying for you, Beth. And praying for Gay. My heart ached reading it.
    I loved the line in Jesus Calling a few days ago that stated we “have a problem free eternity waiting for us” at the end of this life. How encouraging that this world is only a blip with its troubles… as profound and heart breaking as they are.

  5. 655
    Heidi says:

    Dearest Beth,
    My heart breaks for you, your family, and your sister. I am a faithful reader of the blog, but seldom leave a comment. This touched me deeply and I want you to know there will be no judgement or condemnation coming from this siesta. Who of us can not say “there go I, but for the grace of God.”
    Because I have done your Bible studies from the very beginning and joined in summer online studies as well as the scripture memory both years; I feel like you are my BFF…even though we have never personally met. So, I am hurting for you—my friend, right now! Please know that my prayers will be with you and I will be looking forward to the day when we all say hallelujah to the restorative and healing work God has done. He never wastes anything!
    God Bless….Heidi~Lindale, Texas

  6. 656
    Maria says:

    She said, “If I somehow get my words wrong, haven’t we been together long enough for you to know my heart??” Okay this really just flipped me too!!! Oh boy a flood of emotions and memories…

    As for Gay, Papa has her, he’s not letting go…lifting her up in prayer.

    I love you and this ministry.

  7. 657
    kimbalIna says:

    immediately the image of lifting up the arms of Moses came to mind- as long as his arms were up- the battle was being won- in the moments he could no longer lift them up – his brothers lifted them up- and so that is my prayer for you- that you would sense your siestas lifting you up as well as Jesus lifting your chin- you are His- we are His- and NO battle is too big for Him-

  8. 658
    SandyT/kc says:

    No questions….no answers needed sisters….much love and many prayers for you and yours as we make this pilgrim journey together, knowing/believing He, our Savior, walks with us!!…believing Him with you, for you….

  9. 659
    Elaine says:

    My prayers go out to each of you. Gay’s story meant so much to me. It could have been the same story of my sibling and my family. I am just so thankful that God is with us, just as he is with you and Gay and your whole family.

  10. 660
    Marilyn Yarbrough says:

    Satan is busy he knows his time is short. Let us not grow weary in prayin for each other ESP those who on th front line in public view of the world. For Gay prayin God’s sweet mercy and grace on you and in you, no shame, no guilt on th mercy seat. Beth for you and family God’s peace love and joy on all you. God’s grace is sufficient for all abide in it. Love to all of you

  11. 661

    You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
    Genesis 50:20

    God will use this MESS to become your MESSAGE.

  12. 662
    Jackie says:

    Beth, My heart goes out to you, I didn’t get all of Gays story, for some reason, I missed some of it, but what I did get was amazing, and I can relate, my husband was an alcoholic, he died in 2007 from liver failure, my twin daughters have drug addictions and alcoholism, bipolar disorder and many other health problems they have been battling these addictions for 10 years, I have been following you on Life Today for several years, I go to your simulcast when I can, you have touched my life in such a positive way, thank you from the bottom of my heart, I will keep your sister Gay in my prayers and you too. God Bless you.

  13. 663
    karen says:

    I am so honored that you would share your family so openly, the ups and the downs, and to be able to pray for you and yours right along with mine ………. “lead me to the Rock that is higher than I………”


  14. 664
    Erin says:

    Praying right now…

  15. 665
    Natalie says:

    Here this devil-
    Not one will be lost! If a Siesta is to weak we will hold her arms up like they did for Moses!

    She will prevail. Her story was true and she was born again. She is sealed. She will be back.

  16. 666
    diana says:

    Gay will be in my prayers.

  17. 667
    Janel says:

    I am praying for you, Beth, for Gay, and for your families. God IS able. He IS bigger. He IS victorious. We believe – and know – this to be true. Looking forward to seeing our faith become sight in this situation –
    We Siestas love and appreciate you so much!!

  18. 668
    Gina says:

    “Do not resist or run from the difficulties in your life. These problems are not random mistakes; they are hand tailored blessings designed for your benefit and growth. Embrace all the circumstances that I allow in your life, trusting Me to bring good out of them. View problems as opportunities to rely more fully on me.” Jesus Calling ~May 10

    So much love and prayer for you sweet friend. You are a blessing.

  19. 669
    Susan says:

    Gay, you have an army of sisters loving you and praying for you. God is FOR you.

  20. 670
    Keren Wheeler says:

    Prayers are with you all. Like my 93 year old friend used to say, “But God”. Details do not matter…just know you are not bearing your burden alone.
    Love and prayers~ Keren

  21. 671
    Teresa Olson says:

    When I first read this, lyrics from a song that I often find myself singing when I feel like yet again I have failed, fallen down, and made a wreck of things all over again.

    “What if I stumble, what if I fall?
    What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
    Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
    What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

    I hear You whispering my name, You say
    “My love for You will never change”

    What if I stumble, what if I fall?
    You never turn in the heat of it all
    What if I stumble, what if I fall?
    You are my comfort, and my God”
    ~DC Talk What if I stumble

    Oh dear precious and beloved daughter of God Gay, He still loves you desperately no matter what. We as humans will fall so often, we are told that we will, it is only through Him that we can get back up and persevere… He has promised us He will be right there.

    satan is definitely as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour and with the voice that you and your sister have for Christ it isn’t a surprise that he has tried to silence or hurt it. When we are weak, when we are under attack, God is strong and He will never let you go. When you rise back up it will bring even more glory to God.

    Isn’t it interesting how God often chooses the ones the world would give up on to speak through and make His voice heard. You both, Gay and Beth, have had such an amazing impact on others because you have allowed God to use you for His glory, and often times the best witness, the best message is given just when we persevere and allow God to build us up again when we are broken. You and your whole ministry is being bathed in prayer and your Christian family is willing to suit up in the Armor of God and stand behind you.

    Gay please know you are dearly loved, and that forgiveness is yours, don’t give up because God is stronger than the enemy. None of us are perfect, we all stumble, mess up, and get discouraged and yet we are constantly offered forgiveness, mercy, and grace as well as another chance to take His hand. There is no judgement or condemnation here, just people who love and will pray.

    SuperChick has another song that really helps me when I find that I have failed yet again I hope it can speak to others like it has to me

    “We all fall…sometimes, We all let ourselves down
    Sometimes there’s nothing left but to live with what’s been done.
    And know that you aren’t the only one who falls
    We all fail…sometimes, We all let someone down
    Sometimes there is nothing left but to promise to ourselves That next time we won’t be the one
    To fail.
    I want to tell you, you can go on, that beginnings come from ends.
    I still believe in you, and so does God
    He’s the one who still believes in those who fail
    He’s the one who still believes in us who fall”

  22. 672
    Patricia says:

    So many beautifullly written posts, I only want to add my understanding of the reality of the messiness in life. Thinking of the song, “stand in the rain”…. I am praying.

  23. 673
    Lisa says:

    May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify Gay through and through. May Gay’s whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls Gay is faithful and he will do it.

    I Thessalonians 5: 23-24


    Praying, Praying, Praying….

  24. 674
    Sharon says:

    This is a very real battle even though we cannot see it raging on around us in the spiritual realm. This life is not easy; however, we have a Savior that is greater than anything we face. I am praying for all of you; always remember that Jesus is victorious. We love you Gale and you were so brave to share so much with all of us. Many people have been touched by your story.

  25. 675
    Bunny B says:

    I’m on my way out the door this morning but had to quickly respond to your post. First of all, thank you for being so real and so open and honest. It’s not often that we Christians allow others to see what is really happening in our lives, and that is a shame. Our Father intended us to be free in many ways, and many times we think honesty is not part of that. Secondly, we are all on a journey and are in different places. Gay’ journey, like our own, isn’t over. Have to run, and don’t know why I felt compelled to preach this morning, and especially to you, Mama Beth! 🙂 With much love and prayers. Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day, Siesta Mama!

  26. 676
    Mary says:

    from NH

    Last night in my ladies group, we were in prayer for the daughter of one of our members. In a few weeks, this young woman, 15 months clean, will graduate Teen Challenge. But because she has a record, so many doors are being shut. It seems it will be a hard struggle for her to build a new life for herself outside of the one our Savior has given her. This girl has no other choice (at the moment), than to return to her family home in a town infested with drug use. No one wants to hire her. Even our church can’t easily help her. We’re all praying that this girl stays clean, and builds the new life that God has promised her. But after all is said and done, we have to give Him our praise for her current success and put her future in His loving hands.

    Beth – I shared your sister’s story with another friend of mine and it help keep her sober for 49 days. A major triumph. I pray only that she looks back on that success, remember His Grace, and asks Him to help her do it again. I pray this also for your sister, Gaye. He is ALWAYS READY to forgive and help! God Bless.

  27. 677
    Sacha says:

    Dear Beth,
    Thank you for being so open and honest! I have and will continue to pray for Gay and your family. I love all of you so much and want what is best for all of you including Gay! God will triumph!
    I love all of you!

  28. 678
    Crissy says:

    We love you all! There is always HOPE! never forget that no matter what!

  29. 679
    Jennifer T says:

    Praying your name into the Psalms today, Gay. Trusting Him for more and even more dazzling victory for you.

  30. 680
    Natalie says:


  31. 681
    Carla says:

    As I am studying in David this morning, I read Psalms 20:1-9. We all have battles and need to be reminded that we have an enemy that hates us.

  32. 682
    conwaymom says:

    Thought of you all last night as I was drifting off to sleep and said a prayer.

  33. 683
    Janee says:

    Just hopping on ….. It’s been a while and I have apparently missed the posts from Gay. Can you tell me where to find them? I would love to hear from the woman who inspired many. Thank you……

  34. 684
    Carolyn says:

    Oh Beth, I am so sorry for your pain and for Gay’s pain. I specifically remember your teaching about how God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Seems like you had a big doll with you and you wrapped bandages around one of the doll’s arms and talked about how God binds up our wounds. I am praying this for you and your family. And I am so happy to be part of this family – the blog community family. I love you ladies. One day we will not only see the Lord face to face but will see each other face to face. Wow!

  35. 685
    Rebecca Wade says:

    We can feel your pain. We all love you so much, Beth, for being so real with us. We do not have you on a pedestal so you cannot fall off. We have you in our hearts, as a dear sista, who is living this life just like we are needing our Savior every minute of the day. Keep teaching us all He is teaching you. We all are heartbroken at times and right now we are heartbroken for you. Love, Becky and our Beth Moore Bible study group

  36. 686
    Sara says:

    I have only posted one other time I think but I just sat down and read with tears streaming. I need Gay to know I love her. We have all been through hard times and haven’t we all needed grace and love most? My heart is so tender for these times after walking through a valley a couple of years ago. God does indeed redeem and she cannot be plucked from His hand. Praise God! I believe God for her next chapter!

  37. 687
    lee ann says:

    Praying praying praying. I love you and Gay. JESUS loves you all. And this family loves you all.

  38. 688
    Angela says:

    God has richly blessed you and your family. He still does. Even in the midst of a setback. Praying for revival for all of us.

    Mansfield TX

  39. 689
    Amanda says:

    Beth, you and Gay are both precious to me, although I’ve never met you. Her story felt like home to me as it is so similar to my sister in laws, right down to same treatment centers, areas of town, etc. You taught me that Jesus is enough. Always. Praying for you both.

  40. 690
    Patti Reavis says:

    We can only trust God’s love in difficult situations. We are in His hands , submitted to His service. His ways are not our ways….
    Love you all in Beth’s family.

  41. 691
    jc says:

    Even as i read these comments and pray for Gay, I am reminded how crafty the enemy is in my own life. I hope we can allow this to be a warning to us all and that we pick up the armor of God to fight the flesh and our enemy, Satan. Maybe then satan will have wished he never messed with Gay in the first place when God is glorified all the more!

  42. 692
    Becky says:

    Gay praying for you. Beth praying for you and your family. I feel we as children of God do our best work on our knees and that is where I am for you all. Love in Christ Jesus!!!

  43. 693
    sherry peck says:

    We love you and believe me, WE LOVE GAY. Our prayers are with you all. In my own Christian walk I have fallen backwards several times and many times been misunderstood and judged, but God is faithful and He loves us, grieves with us and even allows us to question Him. I love Him “above all” because of what he has walked thru with me, knows me better than others or than I know myself and still loves me. With that love I strive to always be the child “He” created. He always comes through!! What a mighty God we serve.

  44. 694

    I woke up this morning thinking about the two of you, especially Gay and my heart was aching. I knew it wasn’t for my own hurts cause it wasn’t the same exactly. I knew I was hurting for you two. I hope you are all hanging in there. Hang on to Jesus! Love you both soooo much!


  45. 695
    Sarah S. says:

    Big hugs from North Texas. This morning I saw someone post Judges 5:21 somewhere: “March on, my soul, in strength!” and it reminded me of Travis singing at the SSMT. And that’s all I could think as I read this. May you march on, Siesta Mama. May Gay march on. Oh, Satan longs to chalk this one up as his victory — because he knows what a ruckus Gay’s testimony caused in the heavenlies — but the Siestas are ON it! We are praying for Gay and Beth and everyone to march on in strength. March on!

  46. 696
    Christine says:

    You and your family are in my prayers. Prayer can not only be answered but it can turn the tables on Satan! The prayers offered up for my own child are living proof of that.

  47. 697
    Karene says:

    Please give Gay my love . . . from one who has needed, and still does, unconditional love. I believe in the power of Christ in her. He who is in her is stronger than he who is in the world! I am praying for her.

  48. 698
    ginny says:

    Praying…and believing He is greater.

  49. 699
    Jennifer Pearson says:

    Oh, Beth how my heart aches for you and for Gay. We must always keep before us that His grace is greater than our sins. Sometimes I think God allows us to stumble and even retreat a bit to remind us of our complete and utter dependence on Him. But we are no longer slaves to those sins, and even though we may falter, the outcome of victory has already been decided! We can rejoice that mercy truly does triumph! “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. ” (1 Thessalonians 5:23, 24 ESV)

    In Christ,

  50. 700
    Dee Dee says:

    O Dear Beth,
    I will surely pray for whatever is going on. I don’t need to know because God does! What a relief! So thankful that He is the God of a gazillion chances…Much love and Happy Mother’s Day! Dee Dee

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