I love you guys in this blog community so much. And I hope to heaven it goes without saying that I love my extended family. Lord have mercy, oh so much. But every now and then we are challenged to figure out how to demonstrate a balanced love to all of the above. This is my attempt and it will no doubt fall short of the place I wish it would land. I remember Kay Arthur telling a group at a Deeper Still event (in the Q&A segment) how painful it is to be totally misunderstood by something said or quoted out of context. She said, “If I somehow get my words wrong, haven’t we been together long enough for you to know my heart??” It hit me so powerfully.
My hope is that, if I somehow miss the mark and don’t find that perfect balance between honoring this flock and honoring my family, I hope so much each entity has been with me long enough to know my heart. I have never been more honored by a series appearing on this blog than my beloved sister Gay’s 7 installments. They were, each one, completely genuine and written in complete honesty. And they all still stand as a testament to the inconceivable power, grace, and healing of God.
But her story goes on.
And so do the rest of ours.
And life is hard, the devil is mean, the flesh gets weak, but the love of God stays strong.
I simply write today to say that you will never waste a prayer on anyone around here. We are all flesh and blood, weak in our natural selves, but (many of us) deeply committed to our pursuit of Christ. We’re not playing a game here. He is everything to us. Our joy. Our Strength. Our Refuge when we’re hurting. Our Rock when we’re rocking.
We established this blog with an unwavering commitment to remaining real in our witness and in our encouragement and exhortation. Thus far, we have to my knowledge held onto that commitment for dear life and, goodness knows, that’s a praise to God alone. This post is just an attempt to continue in that vein. We want to stay real with you. And what’s real is that Gay’s story is still being written even amid a painful turn of events and by the faithful God who spoke her name before the foundation of the world.
And my story is still being written. And I know your hearts well enough to imagine that right now you would say, “And mine, too.”
I wish it was tidier but it’s not. Gay has suffered a hard blow. I am heartbroken for her and also just plain heartbroken. One of these days there will be a next chapter from Gay, whether it’s here or elsewhere. It will not negate a single one she’s written. It will simply add to. It also does not negate a single thing I wrote or shared in Mercy Triumphs. I love her so much. I know you love her, too. We do not condemn here. We do not shame. We believe that our God can conquer all, recover all, redeem all, and use all.
I wish we could have it more together around here sometimes, sisters, but we remain completely cast upon our Savior and we live one day at a time. I love you immensely and I thank you for your patience with us. We are works in progress, all of us. Would you be so gracious not to press too hard for more details right now? To tell you the truth, they’re in flux and less than clear anyway. Let’s just leave some space for the beautiful healing mercies of God and let most of our talk take place from our knees.
You mean something to me. Something down deep. I want so much to serve you responsibly.
With much love,
Beth
Oh sweet Beth, praying and contending for your sister.
Praying, Praying, Praying. Sending love.
Beth, Gay and family, may our God, the LORD God of Israel, the Holy One,the Lord Jesus Christ “…give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name…I am the LORD, and there is no other, the One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the LORD who does all these.” Praying for you all with His love and mine, carol
Dearest Beth,
It is because you are so honest about being in life with the rest of us, that God is using you so mightily, we can relate. You don’t portray life with God to be perfect and pain free, but testify to His faithfulness in the thick of our heartache, not giving up on us when we feel like giving up on ourselves.
I pray that God will hold you and your family tight in the midst of the enemy’s attack, and all glory for the victory will be HIS.
Lifting Gay, her sons and all of you.
As a person who knows too much about windy-roads-and-painful-places, I ask for fresh falling of Grace and loving mercy.
Dearest Sisters, there is a lump in my throat, total love in my heart and prayer on my lips. I know exactly how living one day at a time works. Jesus is all sufficient.
Thanks for sharing. That is why i love this placed and you! hope you and everyone else have a blessed mother day.
Praying for you all right now.
A couple of weeks ago at church we were offered the opportunity to come forward, take a small piece of clay, and write something on it in response to that morning’s sermon. That piece of clay is precious to me because it is a tangible reminder. What did I write?: “My story is not over…” Indeed not a one of us, our story is not over.
Thank you for your love and heart for all of us Beth. You are precious to me.
We rejoice with those who rejoice and now weep with those who weep…we bear one another’s burdens….and always the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words…we know it is God who is at work…to work and to will for His good pleasure…He does all things well! Praise His Name and wait for the next chapter – we know the ending and God has won, no matter the setback!
Love you and your family Beth, as does everyone on this blog and even more!
Dear Miss Beth and ALL who love and admire and support Gay.
I am crestfallen, but as just I heard in the 3rd session of the JAMES study today, anguish and joy can well reside side by side. Moreover, in the process of transformation (morphing) one may be more apparent than the other.
I cannot help but believe that the very fact of Gay’s contributions on this Blog marshaled on her behalf an entire new battalion of sisters (Siestas, as it were) to pray for her. Certainly the Lord knew this would be the case. We are privileged to be spurred on by the Holy Spirit in that fight–I know I speak for/with MANY.
With fervent prayers for her and her community and her family, we stand together as “Re-builders of the ancient ruins”
Amen!!
Beth, My heart goes out to you and Gay and your whole family. Thank you for being so open and honest with us. We all love you so! We all stumble and fall. Satan especially goes after the ones who have broken free and are living in victory. But God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine! He has done it before and He will do it again. I am praying for all of you.
Dear Beth, my eyes tear up writing this and thinking of the hurt – right now. Thank you for being transparent about life – real, hard life. I just wanted to encourage you – your work, your transparency, God’s words through you speak to so many. Never have I had my heart worked on more than when I have gone through your studies. One thing I was really ministered to through one study is dealing with how hard family relationships can be. Your sharing of this hardship is bearing fruit and bringing comfort in my life and how I walk toward my family members. I am sorry for what you and your family are going through right now. God is so faithful and wise, I pray you can feel him holding you and your sister and others involved in his all-knowing, all-powerful, loving arms through this time. It is not necessary that any of us know the details or even the outcome – it doesn’t change the fact that this is painfully hard and possibly physically detrimental. I truly do love you Beth Moore, sister-in-Christ whom I have never met. Toni
Dear Beth,
I am reading your book, To Live is Christ, right now. I read this paragraph today in Chapter 13 –
“The last year has been one of the most difficult seasons of my entire life. One crisis seemed to roll in behind another. I faced losses I thought I could not bear. My heart is very sore, but it’s still beating. I am not glad my hurts happened. I’m not rejoicing over the loss. But I am alive, and life is still strangely abundant. Had God not taught me His Word and made Himself the uncontested love of my life, I think I might have wanted to quit. If you are like me and you tend to fear having your heart broken, ask Him to help you redirect your energies toward faithfulness instead.” (pg. 84)
I pray your own words from your own heart that was hurt and healed once before comfort you today.
Our prayers and with you and with your precious sister.
Thank you for being brave enough not to leave anything “secret” and discreet enough to provide privacy. Thank you for modeling the point that life is a process and the purpose of sharing is prayer; of which I am more than happy to do for you and your family.
Praying for y’all!
As Sisters in Christ, we rejoice together, our hearts break together, and we pray and hope together. May His love — and ours — fill your hearts as we wait on Him for His path forward for Gay and your family. Hugs and love…
There are no perfect stories. Only real ones! Thank you for sharing your life with us in all of it’s pain, joy and truth. Only in heaven will you begin to comprehend the way the Lord is choosing to use all of it in the lives of others.
I can’t wait to be part of the display He shows to you! The way your life has forever altered mine. How He shows Himself so majestically right in the middle of your humanity. You were the first Christian I saw who looked so real in their weak humanity and who had the Savior so boldly stamped across the picture…and I mean every word of it. I cried frequently through Gayle’s postings and now pray for her joy. Love to you both and may Jesus feel more real than ever,
Beth
Praying so hard Beth. I’m sad~ love Gay so much.
“O Lover to the uttermost,
May I read the meltings of Thy heart to me
in the manger of thy birth,
in the garden of thy agony,
in the cross of thy suffering,
in the tomb of thy resurrection,
in the heaven of thy intercession.
Bold in this thought I defy my adversary…”
(Valley of Vision, A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions)
May this be the tomb of a resurrection for His glory! Amen.
Dear Gay,
We love you! Jesus loves you more!!
Dear Jesus, most awesome, powerful and all knowing God, full of authority: Please show your mercy, love and grace to Gay. She loves you, wants to serve you. Our sister needs help. Please bind Satan and his evil spirits from her.I ask in Jesus name, that you speak your complete truth to her. Lord Jesus, please be with Beth, your humble servant, and heal her heart. We adore her! Thank you for using her to spread your word.
In the name of Jesus, I ask, Amen.
My heart is so tender to you all right now, and seeing so many comments joining together in love for you and Gay–I join with them all. My love and prayers are storming the gates of heaven, knowing that our Jesus has already won the victory!!
Thank you for your transparency and discernment. What an example you are for me. I will be praying for you and Gay.
Praying for all of you! Life is hard at times, but God is so good and He’s still in charge. May He surround you all with His presence and peace. With love and hugs…
Moma Beth—my heart goes out to you. One of the greatest things about this blog is you don’t have to say anymore, you don’t have to give details, just know you and your family are covered in prayers.
We love you so much—God will sustain!
This seems like a great time to repeat back one of your favorite scriptures that I memorized and quote often….
“Those who know your name trust in you, for you Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10.
Happy Mother’s Day–you are loved!
sometimes honesty is the most brave thing I know. I have been through a horrible journey over the past 26 months – -thrown into a pit by someone I love. . . and the heartache, the fear, worry, anger hurt, fear, love, forgiveness, grief, has been horrific. and today something happened that hurt me to my very core. Sometimes I am tired of trying to be brave. I have struggled to accepy God’s NO with trust, love and faith. But I have struggled. and one thing I have learned fron you dear Beth, is that we are real. and we are loved, deeply, by our Father. today I cried, complained and yes, even yelled at our Father. and I know He listened, He cried and He will always be there. So, Beth, thank you for sharing, I will pray for Gay. and for you,
Oh Beth, how deeply I feel for you and Gay right now. I woke this morning thinking about you both and praying for God’s love and mercy to completely surround you and that He will hold you both in his loving arms.
Praying mightily for you, Gay, and your family. God will be honored and Satan will be defeated! God is the God of second chances, third chances, as many as it takes. His Grace is new every morning, great is His Faithfulness.
Sometimes we are like the Goldie Hawn character in Private Benjamin when she said, ” I didn’t join this army. I joined the one with the condos and the Gucci sandals.” Just because we have aligned ourself with Jesus Christ doesn’t mean we won’t have problems and setbacks. I thank you for being open and transparent about those in your own circle. We aren’t immune from life’s problems but we have God’s strength and grace to get through them…..time after time.
So, so sorry! I have a 22 year old son about to graduate from Teen Challenge because of drug addiction. He has been there 14 months. My heart goes out to your family! Our God is faithful!
Love you,
Terri Gann
Trussville, AL
O, bless you! It would be so sinful of us if any of us expected any of you to be perfect. That tugs on my heartstrings and brings tears to my eyes. I was so moved by your sister’s testimony! Maybe one of the reasons for her sharing was so that I will be equally moved to pray for her, as God tendered a special place in my heart for her.
Dear Beth,
Hey! We are all a work in progress and I rejoice with you that we are forgiven not perfect yet!!! This has been a very trying year for me and my family too. After having a couple of years in which I have gotten off meds for depression and mood swings and enjoying the remission of that, I am faced with an uncertain future for Brian out 38 yr old son who has lived with us all his life. He is having seizures and was sent by ambulance to Mayo clinic a week ago and his condition is so rare it is felt it is a side effect of cranial radiation he had 30 yrs ago. Mayo only has 11 other cases of people who have had this syndrome and the future is anyone’s guess. We got to his hospital room yesterday and the rehab center back home did not accept him for inpatient rehab again like they did not three weeks ago. The medical director is very unprofessional and our whole family was fighting. My daughter and I wanted to see him in another facility in another city 90 miles away as we were tired of dealing with the facility close by which has jerked us around so much. My other son and hubby still wanted him there. We were raising our voices at each other and not acting very Christian like I was ashamed of us!!!It was unneeded stress that should have never been put on us as a family. We were tired from the 10 hr drive there. My daughter had been staying there with Brian for a week and was tired. It is so true that medical crisis can bring out the worst and best in people. So I had to ask forgiveness of God too for being so cutting with my tongue ( didn’t I just finish the study of James)? So often we do fall flat on our faces but it is what keeps us humble and pleading with God through these tuff times. I will continue to keep you in my prayers as well. Part of what endears us to others is when we can be candid with each other. Yes life is messy! But God is the chief fixer-upper!!! Remember we are not perfect yet, just forgiven! I pray that Gay will continue in her growth. Growth is never a steady upward thing often it is in little fits and starts. Love, Betty M
After reading this post tonight, I was hurting for all involved {especially Gay}. I don’t usually listen to music at bedtime, but felt led to listen to Kari Jobi. Her song Steady My Heart seems so appropriate at this time. May it bless you, too.
Much love,
Audrey
Lifting your sweet family up in prayer….thankful for God’s grace
…And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm…
Praying as He holds your every tear in the palm of His mighty hand.
Thank you, Beth, for being lovingly real with us and at the same time lovingly protecting your sister’s privacy. We will pray for you, Gay and your family. He has made us more than conquerors.
– Michelle in Maine
…praying…
On April 23rd of this year, my brother’s addiction won. He was 46 years old. I know he was a believer, and I feel like he finally knows how much he was treasured and loved – he’s finally at peace in his own head for the first time in his life. Gay, you are loved and treasured, so beloved.
Family is precious, life is the same…all of it.
Praying for the God who can do exceedingly more than we could ever imagine to lift you and hold you in His righteous right hand.
Blessings of healing, wholeness, peace and love!
I can not stop thinking of Gay since I read your post yesterday. I am praying so hard and I KNOW He who began a good work in her will continue until Christ Return…… Gay, your story is not at all finished. It is still being written and God is the Author.
BIG, LONG, TIGHT HUGS to you and Gay!
Beth, Oh how our hearts break for our beloved prodigals. Their paths are often so hard and twisted but we stand in the road and peer down it and wait with Him … for their return. I call my son “my beloved prodigal” and he too has chosen drugs to answer his pain. Next Tuesday he stands before a judge (on his 21st birthday) and it will be decided whether he goes to jail or not. It has already been decided by God and we await … I will pray for your Gail, please pray for my Tyler. We lay face down for them and cry out to our merciful, loving, forgiving God … don’t we. We consider it all joy – even in the midst of this pain. Your sister in Him, Susan
Beth,
The tears came fast and hard at your words, “Gay has suffered a hard blow.” God hears us crying out to Him on her behalf, your behalf….and our own. He is so faithful.
Along with prayers of healing, we pray prayers of thanksgiving for what He is doing in her, in you and us.
Thank you for your transparency, thank you for allowing us to be prayer warriors for you and yours…..after all.
In Christ alone,
Vickie
Beth, Your post brought tears to my eyes and my heart as I watch someone in my family who needs deliverance from the only One who can. Praying!! It is always good to be reminded how we are all a work in progress. Although I am on in years, I know that I have not and never will “arrive” in the Christian life. I just keep pressing on because He lives in my heart and because He shows great mercy and grace and He loves me.
In your bible study of “The Patriarchs” you quoted Ergun Caner in session 4. What book was that quote from?
Keep Praying….hard!
Love, Lynn Andersen ( I am a male but, study with my wife. )
Sending prayers and hugs.
The Siestas have said it all. Hearts broken for Gay and your family but filling up those broken places is Jesus. She is His and His hand has not left her and He is our Hope. Lamentations 3:22&23 “Through God’s mercies we are not consumed. His compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness.”
Praying Beth for all of you.
I have learned that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more-CSLewis
Oh dear Beth,
Tears and prayers for you and your sweet, redeemed sister. You knew the enemy wouldn’t let her alone. We are so honored to share this walk with you. Thank you for letting us pray for you and your sister. We promise we will…
Beth,
As a mother of an adult son who has had his addiction problems I can relate. He has been in and out of rehab many times. It has been a very rocky road for him to travel. He has never seemed to get it straight and he has had many relaspes. I am praying for your sweet family and your sister.