Hey, Darling Things. Let me blurt out from the beginning that you guys are so dear to me. I genuinely love this community with a heart full to the brim. Your comments to Sunday’s post drew me in, made me smile, and some of them made me laugh out loud. Per the question, how far was I from the little farm house when the rancher saw me and reported me in certain peril to my man, several miles. Keith and I are still amused by it but we are thankful for such good neighbors. Just when we think we’ve gotten a little more normal, something reminds him and me that we are caricatures that could be fodder for the weirdest sitcom on network television. Shiver. I’m just picturing my character’s hair. And the size of her Bible. And, eewwww, the accent. And picture the double barrel shotgun in Keith’s character’s hand. But, if they show him without a shirt, cry foul because that’s not my man. Never, I do mean NEVER would my man go without a shirt outside the shower. Nor does he respect a grown man that does. (Unless he’s in his swim trunks and those better come nearly to the man’s knees.) He also gives the stink eye to a grown man that wears his shirt open two buttons. That’s not cool to Keith. And if the man has on a gold chained necklace, you best keep him out of Keith’s path all together. OK, Lord, have mercy. How do I get off on all this stuff? It’s y’all that bring this out in me.
Here’s the reason why I’m posting today. I’m looking to my favorite community for insight regarding this weekend’s event and maybe, if any of it pertains, for insight toward the taping for James in May. (Much more on that later because I really, really want to enlist your prayers.) These are my two questions and please notice that they pertain to two different groups among you.
1. To anyone in our blog community: This one’s wide open. Have you ever experienced a painful breakage in a close relationship you had with another believer? I’m especially talking about relationships that you believed at the time to be woven together by the bonds of Christ but something happened that resulted in a fissure. If so, WITHOUT DIVULGING ANYTHING THAT WOULD IDENTIFY YOUR PERSON, what happened? And here’s a really important part of it: did the relationship mend or did you go your separate ways? Please stick to one meaty paragraph because I want to read every single entry. If it’s too long, I’ll have to skip it. Remember, no names or pieces of information that people can track. We never want to dishonor anyone on this blog. So that I can differentiate between answers to this question and those to the next, please start your comment with the word “Relationship.”
2. Limited just to the people attending this weekend’s LPL in Little Rock, Arkansas: I’d love to already have a few of your stories in mind for this weekend. In a compact paragraph, would you please tell me your first name, your general age group, whether you are married or single, and your biggest concern or challenge right now? Please keep in mind that I could very well share it with the entire group as an example of the kinds of things we’re dealing with in our audience so your comment will act as your permission. Please, please don’t leave a comment I can’t share or I could end up getting it confused with the others and telling it by accident. Remember, you are entrusting your personal information to Blonder Than She Pays To Be. Also don’t make stuff up as a trick so you can get a kick out of it when I tell it. Yes, people do stuff like that on blogs and it’s totally lame. Don’t do it here. So that I can differentiate between this answer and the ones to the previous question, please start your comment with the word “Little Rock.” If you are also answering question 1, please do it in a separate comment. This will help me immensely as I peruse the survey.
You guys are rock stars to me. Thank you so much. May all of this information and everything else that happens on this blog ultimately bring greater fame to the powerful, healing, saving Name of Jesus Christ.
Our Lord.
And Savior.
RELATIONSHIP
We actually had a disagreement about a mutual friend. This person felt she had been “replaced” by our other friend. The accusation to me was childish, but real in her mind. We did come to an understanding, but the relationship was never the same as it was, which is sad because it was like the death of a good friend.
Little Rock: Sandy, 40s, married w/2 kids in college and 1 in high school. After undergoing his 8th back surgery for a degenerative condition, my husband is on disability leave from his Corporate Giant employer who decided to discontinue his salary two weeks before Christmas and our insurance benefits last month. Our son has a sleep disorder that requires medication and our youngest daughter is on three long-term medications as well. Pharmacy alone is costing a fortune every month. We could go on my insurance if the Corporate Giant would get us the appropriate paperwork, but they are stalling. Even this will only provide limited relief, as my school district’s insurance will cost us 1/3 of my salary each month. As bleak as it looks and feels sometimes, I feel in my heart that the Lord will show himself strong on our behalf. He has a big victory waiting for us at the end of this long season of turmoil!
RELATIONSHIP: I have experienced that very thing just recently and will try to make this as short and concise as possible. I met JANE 10 years ago in my very first Bible study class, and we instantly became fast friends. I was a new Christian and hungry for God’s Word. JANE and I began to talk daily and our friendship soared…we knew it was Christ and were so amazed by God’s love. She was like a sister to me. She gave me my first Contemporary Christian CD’s and took me to my very first Beth Moore Bible study…Believing God. She had a HUGE impact on my walk with Christ. I spent time with her family and children, and we encouraged each other through good times and bad. Within the last couple of years, our conversations lessened as “life happened”. But, she also stopped returning my calls and emails. I suspected something was wrong. Long story short, I recently learned that a series of circumstances led to her and her husband getting a divorce and am still so heartbroken over the drastic changes that have taken place in her life. I have reached out to her since learning about the divorce, expressed my sorrow and told her I was always here for her. She has yet to return my calls or emails, so I have been forced to lay it down at the cross. She’s leading a different life now….it makes me sad but all I know to do is to pray.
Relationship
A best friend that I was blessed to see she and her husband and son come to Jesus. They decided to have their 7 year old son baptized and she honored me to be the god-mother.
I discovered a devastating sin against me that she committed prior to coming to Jesus. I mourned and the Lord showed me how He used me to bring her to Him. It helped, then He gave me the scripture of Philippians 4:2-3. I knew I was to forgive her and try to restore the friendship because our prayers together had been powerful. She tried to get together with me a time or two, but could not do it. Her shame was too great. I miss her terribly and pray for her frequently.
Relationship – Wow, I have moved roughly 20 times in 37 years. Military kid, married military man. I know there are friendships that I have just let go. I know that has been hurtful to some people. I had a girlfriend from Highschool (one of the four I attended) contact me out of the blue. She lives in the town my parents settled in. She had run into my mom. She still remembers me as Mikki, a childhood nickname my man quickly banished *grin*. She wanted to catch up. At the time we had just adopted our two oldest boys and I was either pregnant or had just had our third son. (can we say low brain cells) She was reliving a fun memory we had shared. It involved another girl. At the end of the story, I said, “So, how is that other girl?” She said, “I don’t know, she was your friend.” Ha! I know this is off subject. I guess I’m just feeling convicted about allowing some dear Christian sisters to slip off my heart. I just wrote out a list of names. I will keep praying and maybe I will at least send a little note letting them know I still love them.
Michelle *^^*
Relationship
God brought along my dear friend “L” and bonded our hearts together as we walked out of bondage to some sins in our lives as we walked her out of the heartbreak of her broken marriage (her husband left her for several other women). We were tight- close like sisters. Over time, she became involved in a relationship with a very godly man. However, being close to her, I had some concerns about this guy after they had been dating for about 3 years. These concerns were not secret to her as she had some of the same worries as did her parents. I brought these up in a very not compassionate and nosy way- not very Christian-like, sisterly or kind. She had her feelings hurt but wouldn’t confront me, so she avoided me. I felt like I had hurt her feelings, but didn’t know how to fix it. A year past and God restored our relationship. She e-mailed me, apologizing for not addressing this a year ago and hurting me in that way. I was able to respond likewise, both seeking forgiveness and receiving it. We actually met face-to-face for the first time this past Monday and it was a sweet time of restoration for both of us. We will see what God has for us in the future.
Relationship:
Several years ago our church got a new pastor. His wife was a little bit older than me, but we hit it off right away. We hung out alot, and I really looked up to her as a mentor, but also as a really good friend to have fun with. Over a period of time, she started thinking about and talking about her appearance all the time. She began to make friends with some girls who were wealthy and attractive. She, being a cute girl as well, began to get sucked into looking just right and having the right kind of clothes. I was really disappointed! I knew we no longer had things in common and I had to distance myself some because I began to feel bad about myself when I was around her. Before long, she didn’t want to have much to do with me because I didn’t fit into her lifestyle. Her husband is the still the pastor of our church, and I am on my knees daily for them and their deep desire to fit in with the “cool” crowd! She and I speak some in passing, but it is usually very surface talk. This is really a kind of sad story!
PS: Maybe next time we can all share a happy story!! 🙂 hahaha!
Question for Mrs. Beth!
I remember hearing you say in a Bible study that when your girls were little, the hurts they would experience from other little girls would tear you up inside. You even said, “I never knew you could hate an 8 yr. old little girl so much!” 🙂
My little girl is already being left out and picked on! How am I going to make it thru this??!! I stay up at night praying for her sweet spirit. She is adorable and so much fun to be around! Please give me some advice!!!
LITTLE ROCK…Amanda–35 to 40–My biggest struggle presently is loneliness. My husband is my go-to friend for everything, and we have a deep, rich relationship. Still, I long for authentic friendships with other moms, and have found these are extremely difficult to find. While I have so many “friends” and acquaintances, I feel very alone. I am recognizing that I am a friend to many, yet routinely wonder who I would call in the middle of the night if there was a need. I am slowly realizing that my loneliness is a direct result of the fear of rejection. Lots of tears over the years. A very difficult cycle to break.
Little Rock-Tonya, 40′s and married for 21+ years.
I am the mother of 5 boys, have a good marriage and decided to see if I could get accepted to an online Grad School to become a Nurse Practitioner–well I did. Now mind you MUCH prayer went into that decision to submit an application and so the “yes” seems like it’s from God. I’m 3 weeks into the thing and wondering if I’ve heard Him wrong! The names of these classes even scare me–Advanced Physiology and Biostatistics! Let me tell you something neat,just last week while learning how our eyes process what we see, my ESTHER study came in handy. Thank you for teaching me what a chiasm is!! Did you know there’s one in our eyes?!?! I could see you standing there with your batons! Made all the difference in understanding the concept…promise. BUT what a change for our family. I have been homeschooling my youngest 3 and so they are home with me through out the day, while the oldest 2 are at High School. My husband is an airline pilot and so he’s gone for 3-4 days a week. My family has had unencumbered access to me 24/7, I have “run” the house as a full-time job and now, well now, “Mom’s busy, please go in the other room.” We are all feeling it. I am second-guessing the decision and wondering if it’s truly what God would want for our family. So just like before the acceptance letter came, many prayers are being offered up. But this is ONE of the hardest seasons I’ve been through in a while. I’m not afraid of the work, it’s the stress on my family that is creating the challenge. (Oh, and the dirty house! Cause you KNOW with 5 boys and with mom being a full-time student–it’s getting bad!) Please pray that my husband and I will listen and hear the Holy Spirit in this matter, especially since it is impacting our marriage and children.
Um. Drats! It’s 20+ years, it’ll be 21 in June….
Little Rock
Early 40’s and married.
With 3 kids (12, 16, & 17) I often wonder if I am doing enough for them, to raise them the right way. Am I being the kind of mom they need me to be and God has called me to be? I want them to chase after God, but have I equipped them for their journey? The oldest will be a senior next year. He only has one more year left at home and will he be ready to be out on his own? I have three great kids and I know that they are in God’s hands. I know I need to trust Him to take care of them after all they are His! These are the thoughts I am dealing with right this very moment.
I can’t wait to hear and see all God is going to do through you this weekend! So excited!
Relationship
My best friend of 10+ yrs. (we raised our children together)began to change,walk away from the Lord,look to men for love and attention. She basically one day told me to get out of her life as I was asking her to seek counsel. Didn’t end well and we have not spoken in 4 yrs. She recently left her husband and has her children turning against him because he has not satisfied her needs. I’m heartbroken to this day over the loss of our friendship and what has happened to her life. We shared everything, terribly miss the sister I once knew in Christ.
Relationship- One of my best girlfriends from church confessed to me that she was in a homosexual relationship. I told her from the beginning that while I still loved her, I couldn’t support her relationship. She has since dropped out of our church body and has chosen to no longer speak to me and several of our mutual friends. And can I just say that it hurts a bit? I still think of her and pray for her often, and am holding on to the fact that I know my Jesus, her Jesus, is still by her side, even when she doesn’t see it.
My husband walked into work and unexpectedly lost his job. Pastor said he was not the person “fit” for the job any longer even though he had served as #2 guy for 27 years on this church staff. We fell in love, married, had babies, and watched them graduate from college at this church. But it was too little of church growth in a church of 800. So loved these people—kind of reminds me of the bond you have with Travis. But we had to leave. Pastor thought it best for them not talk with us again. So we lost the friendships of our lifelong friends. We’ll spend eternity together. Praying for reconciliation here. But you know what? God detached me from dependence on a growing ministry, faithful friends, and strong success. Turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me because I found God in ways I never imagined I would. He lowered our mountain; He raised our valley that He might be glorified, Isa 40:4. Still embracing what we contributed and dealing with my own stuff. Still very painful but there’s something more I long for. I’m finding a Rest I never knew before.
We love you too and throughly enjoy your stories and wonderful bible studies. We are so blessed to be a part of this. The memory verses have been truly inspiring to me. I keep finding more and more I want to write down to memorize. Should have gotten 2 spirals. I especially need these now .Can’t wait to read the James bible study and Kelly Minter’s new one.
Relationship
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
This is the scripture that our friendship was based upon. I met 2 women on a mission trip. They were sisters. We became ‘sisters from another mother’ very quickly. We found out that we had similar pasts and connected. The 3 of us became accountability partners, We shared anything and everything…sought Godly counsel from each other, regarding our families, spiritual walks, prayed together, did Bible Study…you name it, we supported each other. I moved last year, not too far away, still close enough to get together. Well, one of my friends moved far away spiritually. She was very proud of her new found spirituality and made her sister & I question our spiritual walk & our faith. (There are more details, but we need to keep this brief.. LOL!!!) It’s been almost a year since we have last prayed together…and it’s been a long, lonely year. It had to be for God to get me to ‘hear’ what He had to say to me. Her sister and I are re-connected after finding out that we were both questioning things about our faith separately. God had spoken to us each individually…(some of it through the study Faithful, Abundant & True for me! Loved it!!) But the friendship with my other friend…may never be what it used to be. She recently found out she has cancer and has no need for me or her sister… Thanks to what God has been teaching me…I’m giving it to Him. I have reached out and been rejected. God will never reject me! Praise Him for that! I have learned that I have to let it go…because it was affecting my relationship with Him! Thanks for who you are in Him and all that you allow Him to teach us through you!
Relationship – My brother and I are estranged. He left his first wife for another woman. I have remained friends with my sister-in-law. He is trying desperately to get his childern full time and is treating my sister-in-law very badly. He will not have a relationship with me unless I agree to stop loving and seeing my sister-in law. He professes to be a believer but his actions are not of God. He will not listen to the truth spoken in love and my asertation that I can love both him and my new sister-in-law, while still loving his ex. I have tried and tried to engage him so as to get past this. I pray everyday for his heart to turn toward God and to truly forgive himself, release himself from the guilt of his failed marriage and love me unconditionally. My heart is broken for this situation and what it is doing to my parents, my kids, my niece and nephew and me. God will make this right – and my prayers is for all to be healed and for strength to forgive him 7 x 70 times.
Relationship
I confided in my best friend because I was at a place in my life and marriage that I was beyond distraught and needed prayer. Before I talked to this friend, I asked if they could keep what I was saying confidential, and if they couldn’t, then I understood and I wouldn’t go further in sharing what was on my heart. With the promise of confidentiality, I shared some things. My husband and I left on a trip and he received a call from a friend of his, about 24 hours after we left. You guessed it…essentially my whole conversation, but some details were altered slightly which made things sound worse than they were. I was stunned. First, I thought my husband would take the next plane home and leave me (he didn’t); second, I have never been able to talk to this person about it. We have barely spoken since and it has been like losing a friend to death, so hurtful to speak or think of it. I really trusted this person and still cannot understand why the confidence was not kept.
Relationship:
I met a dear lady when I went over to request prayers from the small prayer team related to my new Sunday School class. And, as God would have it, I not only started receiving regular prayers from this precious group, but I ended up joining the prayer team myself. 🙂 This particular lady and I became friends, and even after God called me to relocate to my “home state” about 8 months later, our friendship seemed to grow. However, after 3.5 years of what I felt was a blessed Christian friendship, something happened. I’m not sure what happened, but her e-mails and phone calls stopped quite abruptly. This hurt me deeply, especially since my Dad had begun to lose his battle [at approximately the same time] with the “end stage” Leukemia that we found out about only 6 months earlier. So, instead of having this friend/Spiritual mentor “be there for me” during that incredibly tough time in my life, our friendship seemed to end, as well. I was utterly “crushed”…
I spoke to her on the phone briefly since then, but could tell that she did not appear to want to renew our former friendship. I was glad to hear that she was/is “okay”, but continue to mourn not one loss, but two… [However, I KNOW that my dear Dad passed into his/our Lord and Savior, Jesus’ arms when he left “his earthly life”; praise be to God!] And, that was three years ago last month…
I continue to pray for this dear lady, however…
Relationship: My best friend – both of us Christians – and I had a pretty big falling out almost 10 yrs. ago. After a few days I wanted to call her but the Lord spoke to my heart “no”. The Lord kept restraining me from calling her – for months (my friend would have refused to talk to me anyway). It was an excruciating time for me because we were s close – I cried buckets of tears. I thought our friendship was over. The hardest part for me was that I knew I was emotionally dependent on her and I felt that I had failed. But over the months God kept promising me that He was going to restore our friendship.
Then after about 9 months the Lord encouraged me to call her – she was happy to hear from me. We went out for lunch and God GLORIOUSLY restored our friendship … right before my very eyes! And our “unhealthy” friendship became very healthy from that point on because God used the pain of those 9 months to purge me of an unhealthy dependency. Praise Him! (sorry this is longer than a paragraph … but I hope this testimony will help)
Relationship: Beth, I need to add something important to my recent comments about how God restored a broken friendship. At one point, after several months of God promising me that He was going to restore friendship between my best friend and me, I became very frustrated and wanted to give up. I told myself I’d had it and wanted to put “the whole thing to death”, and walk away. Then the Lord spoke to my heart and said, “You can put this friendship to death if you want – but if you do, all you will get are ashes. But if you allow ME to put it to death, I will raise it to new life.” I never forgot those words and He proved them true. He really did raise it new life! Alleluia!
Completely off subject but just had to share
My 7 year old daughter was just looking at my study book (Daniel) and asked who Beth Moore was. I said, don’t you remember coming in while I was watching her on a video? She said “Oh. That kinda screamy woman who was wearing the weird outfit?”
Yup, that’s Beth.
Your ministry is a blessing.
Little Rock! It’s about 3 am on Thursday and I was awakened by a dream about Beth! I dreamt that Beth was coming to my hometown (not Little Rock) and there was a contest to be her hostess for a day. We were like old friends. She came to my house and visited my family. I drove her around and showed her all the sights. I even shared that I had been doing her Bible studies for like 20 years! Then in my dream, as time arrived for me to deliver Beth to the conference area, I saw all the ladies standing in line to see her and I looked at Beth and said “I think it’s harder to be YOU than being the preacher’s wife!” and finally the security wisked Beth away and I went to find my friends in the long line. Then my dream ended and if you’re a preacher’s wife you know what I did next…I prayed…”Lord help Beth to not be full of herself but only full of YOU. Speak to her and give her the words to say to us this weekend…” There was more than that but you get the idea. And here I am! I’ve never posted anything like this before but just felt led to share that with whomever might want to read it.
While I have your attention, can I tell you about a funny email I got this week? It’s such a girlfriend thing and was so hilarious…if you’ll allow me to adlib, here goes: My friend Sally has been sick for a long time, since we are both believers I know that Sally is comfortable with her eternal destiny but I sensed an uneasiness as time grew closer to her passing. So finally one day she confided in me, “I want to know if there is softball in heaven. I love softball and it would be so great to have it there because I will miss it so much!” I assured her there probably is softball in heaven and it seemed to help and finally the time came that the Lord took her home. After the funeral and all that goes with it, I had a dream one night. Sally came to me in my dream. “Sally is that you?” I asked. “Yes and you won’t believe it!” she said. “Heaven is more wonderful than you can imagine! But I have some news for you. Good news and bad news.” “Give me the good news first” I said. She continued “Like I said, heaven is more wonderful than you can imagine, and we’re all 25! And YES there is softball and we have the greatest team ever!!” “So what the bad news?” I asked. “You’re pitching Tuesday night!” she said.
LOL…when I got that email, I almost cried, I laughed so hard. Anyway, not sure why I had to say all that…good night to all…see you in Little Rock! I can’t wait!Praying!!
RELATIONSHIP:
Several years back my husband and I had to “break up” with two of his female cousins (and their families). They were more like older sisters to him but individually and collectively each was dysfunctional, intrusive to the lives of their own immediate families and to ours, demanding beyond what we could satisfy, and there was constant drama. Drama that was exhausting to E and me, but drama that apparently feed some excitement on their parts.
Each claims to be believers and I had to explain to them that this was like Abraham and Lot/Paul and Barnabas. We needed for our own sakes and the raising of our children to move on in peace. They were very sad, wrote us several letters. During the past 5 or so years we see them from time to time and have shared meals in restaurants when the occassion presented itself, but we have not resumed a close relationship as it would certainly again be toxic.
LITTLE ROCK:
I am married and in my early 40s. My biggest concern right now isn’t for me but some dear friends of mine who recently lost his only child and grandchild in the span of 2 weeks. (A rare illness caused the daughter’s liver to fail which killed the baby 4 weeks before she was due. Then the daughter faced complication after complication and finally went to be with the Lord 10 days ago.)
My friends are devastated. I so hoped Stephanie (the stepmom) would come with me this weekend as we originally planned months ago, but she is just unable to leave her husband. She is in significant grief and I am praying for the wisdom to know how to be her friend in this deep, dark place. I hoped she would experience the joy of corporate worship at the conference (she’s never heard you speak in person, Beth). But I think joy seems too far-fetched for her right now.
Relationship
As a Pastor’s wife, there have been many times I thought I had found a wonderful friend and sister in Christ. Each of these “friendships” have been broken as soon as something in the church didn’t go their way or as soon as my husband preached something that hit them. The critical spirits and gossping have been so terrible that I no longer even try to have friendships. I am cordial and smile and share only the things everyone knows anyways. None of the friendships have ever been reconciled. Just silently let go.
Relationship
Last year the dear friend I’d sat beside at church for 7 years’ daughter got married and she stopped coming to church I took it as she feels the loss and needs to know we need her still here and that we love her, (husband doesn’t attend) she taught a sunday school class and would come teach and leave, this bothered my husband the pastor so he went to encourage her to come back, he mentioned she may have put her daughter above Christ as an idol if she can’t worship without her, she posted her anger toward his comment on facebook and the30plus comments were rally’s against my husband, I saw it and was devastated but she never knew, I cried for days and was sick about it, we’ve never mended the relationship and I feel the loss weekly, she no longer attends church anywhere,
Relationship.
My best best friend and I, closer than close in high school started drifting apart in college. She was the one who got me into church, but she began making choices that scared me for her. I didn’t confront her early enough and when I finally did, I was too strong with the confrontation and too weak on the love. It caused her to distance herself from me, probably because she was feeling condemned. I think the breaking point, though, was when I told her that I believed I had met the man I was going to marry and how God was explicitly telling me so. She did not seem interested at all, which really hurt my feelings and caused things to get rockier between us. I could not bring myself to invite her to my wedding when the time came and we stopped speaking altogether.
Thank God she contacted me after about a year and a half of not speaking. I believe we are headed toward healing. Pray that I don’t mess up again! My heart has been broken over this since the time we began to drift apart; I love her so much.
Relationship
My mother, who is a Christian and a pastor’s wife, has broken fellowship with all three of her children including me. In July, it will have been 2 yrs. My siblings and I have been thru many emotions because of this tragedy. Personally, I have worked on my own self through this so that I can grow thru the problem rather than develop the old root of bitterness. The ironic situation is that my sister and I are both pastor’s wives ourselves, and our mother had the same thing happen to her when we were teenagers. The fear of my sister and I allowing this to bring us to bitterness and continuing the cycle is scary. I am applying Ps. 139 and asking God to show me my wicked ways so that I can be emotionally ready if God allows this relationship to be reconciled. If not I am determined to break the cycle. TY Beth, God brought your Bible studies to my sister and I just when we needed them. We were both in the ministry but so scarred by darkness from our own upbringing. God is the great physician, physically and spiritually.
RELATIONSHIP:
Yes I have had that kind of break in a relationship. It was a devastating blow when it occurred- my family and I had traveled to visit over a birthday weekend for a friend. During the time we were there, my husband and the husband of my dearest friend and spiritual mother became engaged in a heated argument over politics. In the heated conversation there were harsh words spoken and eventually the host asked my family to leave. In the end, we did not have to go, but it has never been the same. As a matter of fact, I am here, even this very moment, alone, without my family … simply because it is too hard when we are to be together more than a day or two. My husband has tried to apologize on at least two occassions … but this older man has built a wall only God will be able to penetrate. Years of trust crumbled … a man who treated me like a daughter (yet one more in the line of fathers and step-fathers) who chose his own good over protecting my heart … which is still broken but mending. The Lord has used this to teach me not to lean to hard on any human reltionship though.
Relationship: It may be too late to share, but here goes. About 10 years ago, I felt the Lord calling me to return home after a few years in college. I had no friends here, but met a wonderful girl who was so like me and who I felt I could share anything with. That relationship was the closest thing to a sister that I’d ever known. She & her husband introduced me to my husband. When her children were born, I was their aunt. I was at her house nearly every day after her son was born helping all I could. We saw one another through so much. Then, one day she misunderstood something that I said. When I tried to explain it in an email, I only made it worse. When I tried to call, she hung up on me. We haven’t spoken in 2.5 years. I apologized in a card, but nothing. I thought we were soul sisters.
Relationship:
This person has been close since childhood. We grew up together and became especially bonded when we had babies at the same time. I babysat for her kids when she went back to work. We talked about everything from husbands to hairbands. One day she told me we could no longer be close. A lot of words were exchanged. I tried to make sense of it, but ultimately had to respect her wishes. To this day I don’t think I understand why it all happened. I can’t remember ever feeling so rejected, betrayed and hurt in my life. I talked to God about it. I asked “why” a lot. He held me and listened to me for a bit, but then gently began to ask me to forgive. I gotta admit, I stomped my feet at first. I felt pretty justified in my unforgiveness. I hadn’t done anything wrong really. I tried over and over to forgive and after awhile, with His help, I honestly let go of the hurt. Recently He has asked me to take the next step…to extend my hand and work to heal the relationship. Being obedient to that has been hard at times, but I have witnessed the most beautiful miracle. It was tentative at first and we are taking baby steps, but we have begun to rebuild our relationship. And He is doing a new thing! We are different people now…wiser, older, softer, better. And our relationship reflects that. He truly can make all things new!!! I praise His patient, persistent, perfect and Holy Name!!
Relationship:
I am usually the “go to” person in relationships. In this case, I lost a friend because I found in her a person I could confide in and must have confided too much. I failed in front of her and dissapointed God, myself and her all at the same time. Thankfully, God has forgiven me, but she has not. I am thankful mere humans are not God, for none of us would ever make it to the promised land. Bless you Beth!
Little Rock.
I am a 45 year-old single mother of three gifts from God. Two of which have spread their wings and are out-of-my home. One is doing God’s work in Macedonia, while the other is attending Bible College close to home.
Although I will not be able to be in Little Rock this weekend, I am always encouraged by your obediance to God and His word. I heard you this morning talking on a local radio station about your simple prayer to love God’s Word. Thank you. For God’s word will not go forth without accomplishing His Will and Purposes. Without believers like you who send out His word, we would be like tumble weeds blowing about in a dry world. Once again thank you for your obediance and for allowing God’s wisdom to filter into your very being and then sharing with us.
Relationship–
Caused by jealousy and insecurity. I have a tendency to be very passionate when I get involved in doing ministry, whether it’s for children, youth, or adults. In the past, I was accused of trying to “take a staff member’s” position at a church. The accusation hurt so deeply, that I all but quit helping out for a time in any ministry. Even to this day, I am very hesistant to dive enthusiastically into the Lord’s work, for fear of stepping on toes. (We aren’t at the same church now, the Lord has moved us due to my husband’s job)…
Relationship
In college I made friends with a very Godly girl. She and I met once a week specifically to be accountability partners and encourage each other in the Lord and we had a lot of fun building what I think we both thought would be a life-long friendship. She and I and another friend decided to get an apartment and be roommates. Over the course of the two semesters that we all roomed together, I got involved more heavily with the leadership at my church (we attended different churches) and wasn’t around very much. I also had to work my way through college, while she didn’t have to. This meant that I wasn’t around as much and we seemed to be at odds more. I also wasn’t the tidiest person at that time (but I kept my mess contained to my room) and I felt like she was constantly mothering me. Anyway…things just unraveled and when we parted ways at the end of the semester, things were said and feelings were hurt. I was so sad that the relationship had broken, but also hurt. I haven’t talked to her in 7 years.
Relationship:
My heart was broken as my husband and I parted ways with our best friends, and ministry partners. We served the Lord together, first as leaders in their youth ministry, then as leaders/pastors in their church. Our lives and friendship were centered around the ministry. I suffered from terrible insecurity, coupled with an addiction to affirmation, and my best friend thought her way was the best way in raising kids, being a wife, etc… The atmosphere became toxic, and we finally left their church. This hurt them deeply, and they ended the friendship. I got healthy in Jesus. She did too. Just when we were starting to bridge the gap, something catastrophic happened, and instantly our relationship was restored. It’s as if we’d never parted ways, only now, the relationship is healthy, because we are healthier as individuals. God is so good.
Little Rock!
Welcome back to Arkansas.
Reading through some to the struggles above makes me think I have so little to worry about. One thing I do struggle with is trusting God with my finances. I recently began to tithe. At first, I thought “well, this is cool, I don’t miss the extra amount at all” But lately, I’ve had tons of financial shortfalls and its made me question my trust in God and my attitude toward giving. I want to be obedient in giving but don’t think I need to continue to add to my huge credit card debt either. I know its the enemy attacking me in my obedience but I think I need to learn to fully rely on God in all areas. Trust & Obey!
Little Rock, Kim, 45, married:
The one and only time I had a ticket to come to this event was last June in St. Louis. But my 40 year old sister who had stage 4 breast cancer asked me the week of the event if I could travel with her to Houston’s MD Anderson for a procedure and of course I chose her. She was so apologetic that I was missing the trip and I had to assure her over and over that it was really okay. As we were waiting to board the plane home, my friend that went without me to St. Louis called and held the phone up so my sister and I could hear the praise and worship that was going on. My sister and I held the phone between us and listened to Sing, Sing, Sing, and make music from the Heavens being sung and tears ran down our cheeks as the words ministered to us sitting right there in that airport. My sister passed away in November. Sometime after, somone from my church told me that a ticket had been anonymously bought for me to attend Beth Moore coming to Little Rock in April. My knees grew weak when I was told the event would be on April 15th, my sister’s birthday. So April 15th, I will be at Verizon with a heavy heart because 1 year ago that day we were just celebrating her 40th birthday in my home with her 8 year old and 12 year old and the rest of our family and I am missing her. But I will be right where she would want me to be! I struggle with my hurt feelings at God because we poured our broken hearts out to Him to heal her physically but His answer was no and He chose to deliver her spiritually. But I just KNOW she’s the one now singing the loudest with the angels, Sing Sing Sing, as we make music from the heavens…and she wishes she could call me on my cell phone to hear it! And wouldn’t we just gather close around the phone to hear the sweet glorious sound of those angels praising HIM and wouldn’t we just sit and weep too? I have a feeling April 15th will be an emotional one for me, but I have no doubt being at Verizon praising God for His faithfulness during the last 4 years of her long battle is exactly where Lori would want me to be.
God bless you this week end.
Praying God pours out His lavish love over you this weekend! Your story is beautiful!
Relationship – Our family felt led by the Lord to move to another church fellowship. A very dear friend severed our long standing relationship. I called repeatedly but she never was able to forgive me for leaving. The relationship never recovered.
Relationship – I can’t give details of the breakage, but know that it was heart-breakingly painful to the ones involved. And, praise God, it is mending. But it has taken time (a year and a half) and a persistent desire and effort to mend it.
“RELATIONSHIP”
My husband and I are youth pastors. I had recently gone through a time where I felt very lonely and had been praying God would send me a good girl friend. A couple started volunteering in our youth group and the wife and I became very close. I was so glad to finally have a good pal. I was just at the point of considering she was like my best friend when we had a disagreement. To quickly explain it involved a youth event where we had strict rules. My friend, a volunteer, didn’t really follow the rules all the way and I gently corrected her asking her to fix it. She got very upset and told me I was being ridiculous. Long story short – we met and apologized and all that but we still went our own ways. It had gotten very ugly and some deep wounds were inflicted. It was a painful situtation and has caused me to be VERY guarded towards friendships since.
Relationships~ God has greatly taught me through losses of a couple of relationships. One has been beautifully restored due to humility, forgiveness, and maturity. The other has
not been restored and it may be due to time and distance. Because they were dear to my heart, it almost felt like a divorce at the time. I had to acknowledge what part I played in the problem. One was obvious, the other not. Still, I have a grateful heart and appreciate the years we were close. God does not waste any experiece!
Relationships
I have had a hard time with relationships with other women. I have made mistakes and my past rejection has often kept me from pursuing friendships. I have shared personal things with friends in the past that they turned around and used against me, that hurts deeply. I have lost friendships because I didn’t respond as the other friend thought I should have, possibly b/c of her own insecurities or past rejection. I long for girlfriends that don’t turn against you at the drop of a hat, for friends that aren’t afraid to confront you with the truth, for friends who celebrate with you when the Lord blesses you, for friends who are not easily offended, for friends that understand grace. i desire to be this friend. The Lord has given us so much and forgiven us much, so that we can receive from Him and give to others. I am actually meeting with 5 girlfriends tonight that I haven’t seen in over a year. God restores.
Relationship: In the 80s and 90s, my husband and I were part of a missions organization. We had been there ten years and were very bonded with the director and staff. Along with members of the community, we had started a CPC and an unwed mothers’ home. The administration, unbeknownest to us, mortgaged the home that was paid for by donations we raised. They also began to abuse their authority in all of our lives making it impossible for us to stay and be loyal. I cried for weeks, maybe months. This ministry was birthed out of a previous abortion and a call from God on my life. It was founded with sweat, tears, and paint. We attempted to confront the issue and resolve it, but to no avail. We had to leave, That ministry did not last long after we left. I love those people dearly, but they have never seen their wrong. After we left, there was a “mass exodus” from the organization a few years later due to the same reasons. Even the missions “name” was taken away from them by the international office because of their wrongs. They simply changed the name, gave an explanation on their website, and are still in ministry. Pray for them to see their error and be restored to the Father.
Relationship
I’ve had wonderful Christian friends through the years…small numbers that you can count on your fingers. These are the Inner circle that we are blessed to have.
In 2003 my son went to Iraq with the USMC. I was at that time involved with a local church and my prayer partner and I spent many hours praying and learning how to pray.
She had lost a son and I wondered “why can’t I pray like she does”? Little did I know then what God had planned to teach me!
Some things happened on my prayer floor closet and God’s Holy Spirit visited me and the awe of it left me speechless. I should have stayed “speechless” because when I began to share with my church friends, only pure Truth came out of my mouth and they were “offended”. They could not understand so God brought me home, closed the gate, and showed me what it is like to “Be still and know Him”. PS.46:10.. which was the verse that I received at the beginning of my son’s deployment. He had a purpose for taking me away “to the desert” so that He could speak to me and I would listen to Him and only Him. I will never forget His Peace and Comfort and Love of that special time.
The church friends are …well let’s just say that some things are never the same “but God” has been “Enough” and More than Enough. How sweet He is…I’m still in awe that He would even know my name.
Little Rock
I was raised in a small Southern Baptist Church from birth to date now 37 years old. I accepted Jesus as my Savior at age 12. Nothing really changed in my lifestyle other than now I was saved. I been viewed as a “good girl” all of my life. I serve at my church faithfully. But my Jesus and I know that deep inside my faith hasn’t grown much since that 12 year old girl. I WANT to have a deeper relationship with Jesus, but I let the business of my world come first. I trust a little too much in God’s mercy to forgive my failed promises. Now I feel like God has quit calling me to him. Now, that is a desperate and scary feeling! I hold on to His promise in Philippians 1:6. “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” As I come to Little Rock, I pray that God will use you to speak straight to my heart. I am so excited of what is to come.
Relationship:
My very first mentor became like a mom to me. She nourished my faith the summer after I was baptized. She would see me walk into church after a two mile walk and would offer anything she could to help me get to church any easier way. She listened to me cry about all the persecution I received from my family. She would try to answer any biblical question I had. We were so close. I go to college and we start to drift because she was no longer my youth director. On breaks we would go to eat or I would babysit her girls for her. She would come to visit and we could kinda keep our mentoring relationship going. My first semester senior year we were so excited because I was going to be her intern. Our relationship was back were it was when I was in high school, only I was very different. Some lies were spread between my academic advisor and her and now she won’t talk to me. I have tried to come in contact with her and nothing. This still is breaking my heart because she meant the world to me. I guess God just had her in my life for the purpose of nourishing me and encouraging me to find a new mentor that has led me to complete brokenness. A splitting of a friendship, a good godly relationship, hurts more than anything.
Relationship: I struggle with trusting people, so friendship has been tough for me. Someone entered my life, someone with a passion for the Lord and an intense desire to know God and to walk the walk of faith. We supported each other through trials yet challenged each other, in love, when we saw the need. I thought that God had finally blessed me with the godly friend I had been desiring for years. I’m not sure exactly what happened. I moved, she had trouble with her husband, I encouraged her to do the hard thing and work it out. She felt like I was taking her husband’s side, and our friendship became cursory, like all the others I’ve had. I thought this one would be different, and I was deeply saddened. Her feeling is that satan worked hard to dissolve our relationship because it was a threat to him. We still talk, but it’s not the same.
Little Rock: Dinah, over 65, and that’s hard to say and that’s the PROBLEM! Having a difficult time dealing with aging thing. Trying to do this gracefully but failing, I think. Got cute hair cut to try to go “natural” but next day (today) calling back for color! I’m just a vain mess, I guess, but I know I’m probably not alone in this “how to age in a Christian way” business. HELP!