Hey, Darling Things. Let me blurt out from the beginning that you guys are so dear to me. I genuinely love this community with a heart full to the brim. Your comments to Sunday’s post drew me in, made me smile, and some of them made me laugh out loud. Per the question, how far was I from the little farm house when the rancher saw me and reported me in certain peril to my man, several miles. Keith and I are still amused by it but we are thankful for such good neighbors. Just when we think we’ve gotten a little more normal, something reminds him and me that we are caricatures that could be fodder for the weirdest sitcom on network television. Shiver. I’m just picturing my character’s hair. And the size of her Bible. And, eewwww, the accent. And picture the double barrel shotgun in Keith’s character’s hand. But, if they show him without a shirt, cry foul because that’s not my man. Never, I do mean NEVER would my man go without a shirt outside the shower. Nor does he respect a grown man that does. (Unless he’s in his swim trunks and those better come nearly to the man’s knees.) He also gives the stink eye to a grown man that wears his shirt open two buttons. That’s not cool to Keith. And if the man has on a gold chained necklace, you best keep him out of Keith’s path all together. OK, Lord, have mercy. How do I get off on all this stuff? It’s y’all that bring this out in me.
Here’s the reason why I’m posting today. I’m looking to my favorite community for insight regarding this weekend’s event and maybe, if any of it pertains, for insight toward the taping for James in May. (Much more on that later because I really, really want to enlist your prayers.) These are my two questions and please notice that they pertain to two different groups among you.
1. To anyone in our blog community: This one’s wide open. Have you ever experienced a painful breakage in a close relationship you had with another believer? I’m especially talking about relationships that you believed at the time to be woven together by the bonds of Christ but something happened that resulted in a fissure. If so, WITHOUT DIVULGING ANYTHING THAT WOULD IDENTIFY YOUR PERSON, what happened? And here’s a really important part of it: did the relationship mend or did you go your separate ways? Please stick to one meaty paragraph because I want to read every single entry. If it’s too long, I’ll have to skip it. Remember, no names or pieces of information that people can track. We never want to dishonor anyone on this blog. So that I can differentiate between answers to this question and those to the next, please start your comment with the word “Relationship.”
2. Limited just to the people attending this weekend’s LPL in Little Rock, Arkansas: I’d love to already have a few of your stories in mind for this weekend. In a compact paragraph, would you please tell me your first name, your general age group, whether you are married or single, and your biggest concern or challenge right now? Please keep in mind that I could very well share it with the entire group as an example of the kinds of things we’re dealing with in our audience so your comment will act as your permission. Please, please don’t leave a comment I can’t share or I could end up getting it confused with the others and telling it by accident. Remember, you are entrusting your personal information to Blonder Than She Pays To Be. Also don’t make stuff up as a trick so you can get a kick out of it when I tell it. Yes, people do stuff like that on blogs and it’s totally lame. Don’t do it here. So that I can differentiate between this answer and the ones to the previous question, please start your comment with the word “Little Rock.” If you are also answering question 1, please do it in a separate comment. This will help me immensely as I peruse the survey.
You guys are rock stars to me. Thank you so much. May all of this information and everything else that happens on this blog ultimately bring greater fame to the powerful, healing, saving Name of Jesus Christ.
Our Lord.
And Savior.
Relationship: Our family quietly left our church of ten years where we were very connected, serving in many ministries. After witnessing repeated sinful behavior by the Pastor and privately confronting him, it became clear that he was not willing to admit to it. The behavior grew to be very public, but others were willing to tolerate it. After praying for God’s leading, we finally left to connect with another church were we could be fed. Those remaining, our very, very close brothers and sisters in Christ, were instructed from the pulpit to break any further fellowship with us because we had chosen to leave “their church family”. We are now joyfully with “the family of Christ” where we have been lovingly accepted. It has been a difficult road being dropped so suddenly, no questions asked, but clearly see now that the love at our old church was saved only for “members”.
Little Rock -A deep concern for me at 60 is a burden in my heart for my children and grandchildren that each of them will follow Christ – TOTALLY! God has truly blessed me with mending a messy, broken relationship with a daughter-in-law and this is our 3rd weekend with you- together.Praise be to God!
The past couple of years have been rough with health, husband’s job loss and a scattered family and moving to yet another state, but our God has blessed us with another job and closer to our children and 9 and 1/2 grandchildren. I just pray for health and healing on upcoming hip replacement so I can once again play, and do for my family as my heart desires. Our God is bigger than all this stuff! Thank you Lord! I`ll be there Friday and Saturday— bad hip and all!
Gloria in Houston says
Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the Firstfruits of all thine increase:
So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
Proverbs 3:9,10 (KJV)
Little Rock, 40 year old homeschooling mama of ten amazing kids, ages 4-19,(eight adopted), our family has endured some pretty big trials recently but God has been faithful, biggest struggle now is trying to bring up our children in the way God desires
Little Rock: Jamie, 30s, single. Within the last year I quit my full time job to go into full time ministry (foreign mission work). My biggest challenge right now is knowing exactly where God wants me to fit into the organization I am working with. I have stepped out in faith knowing this is the step He wants me to take, but I feel like Satan is throwing all kinds of things in my path to discourage me and get me to question the calling God has put on my life. Everything from hitting brick walls in raising support to health problems to general feelings of confusion about where I fit. I need some clarity and some direction about where God wants me to go from here and what He wants me to do.
I absolutely cannot wait for James!!! I didn’t see the full blown prayer request but I am praying for the greatest anointing you’ve ever had Beth, and that this bible study will bless thousands, yea, millions, and that people who don’t know Christ will begin a journey to find out who He is and receive His saving love and grace. I love you Beth, I bless God for creating you just like He did! You are an outstanding teacher of the Word, incredibly funny, so sweet in your heart, and we love you so dearly. In Christ, Ernestine
Little Rock
Married
47 years young
right now I’m between hot flashes and mood swings. Life right now is the biggest struggle. Husband is in the ministry, he is bi-vocational. i think that is harder on family, having to study all the time. I’m working full time, caring for a grandmother and father. I’m so thirsty for a fresh annointing of the Lord. I’m praying God will show up and show off!!!
Relationship: I am begging for all the prayers I can get for my marriage to be RESTORED FULLY and my family COMPLETELY HEALED in Jesus name. We both did stupid, selfish, immature things, and I am embarressed and 100% repentant and ashamed for the things I did to cause the breakdown. All I want is my family, from the bottom of my soul. We have been rocked, but Beth, I am clinging to hope when I read that God has kept your marriage together for 32 years. I am weeping and shattered and I don’t care where we live, I just want us all together. And I am begging it can be fast, for the sake of the children. I’m asking God to make the crooked paths straight, to show me clearly every day how and where to walk, and I am grieving and weeping and praying and living a nightmare. The sorrow is more than I can bear. Thank you.
I have been where you are. It hasn’t been that long ago. A couple of years. My marriage was utterly gone. I couldn’t figure out why. I was a good wife, good mother, good caretaker of my home. Love my husband, but he left. Just left. I do belive there was another person involved as well. God was so good to me through it. I struggled with Him and with my husband. Some days I just prayed to get through each hour of the days. This went on for about 5 years. It was a long journey, but with much perserverance and with out the help of family and friends (most were saying divorce him), God brought us through. And I will just throw in, my husband is not saved. But, nothing is impossible with God and He restored this marriage. It was out of nothing that I did, I now know it was just pure and simple GRACE. I don’t know why He saved our marriage and not others, but He did. He CAN. I love my husband more today than I ever have. I trust him and I am secure in our relationship. My advice to you is to seek God daily, hourly if necessary. Work on yourself because you cannot change your husband. Ask God to change you where necessary. Ask Him to make your strong and to lead you in this path of restoring your marriage. Ask Him to protect your husband and lead him back to Him (God). Just continually ask Him to restore this marriage. I certainly can’t tell you the outcome or what God has in store, but I know that He will sustain you and make you a stronger and better person. One that learns to wholly depend on Him for what lies ahead. I know that He can make a broken marriage whole again. Trust Him that He will do what is right for you. I will commit to pray for you, Michelle. Keysha
Thank you Keysha!! Your words hit right where I am, and I am committed to doing exactly what you suggested. My husband IS a christian, he has the Holy Spirit inside of him, so I am praying that the Holy Spirit in both of us will be restoring us back together. You are right, I can only focus on my own heart and getting right with God, and that is my focus, and I have to cling to the hope that we will be whole and healed. Even today, my husband said to me, “I need time to trust you again, to know that you are genuine.” There is hope in that statement. But I have to rely on God first. So my eyes are on Him. Thank you and thank you for your prayers.
I have been RIGHT there. I was desperate, shattered, broken, and scared-half-to-death that our marriage would never be restored. Do not give up crying out to Jesus, sister. Everything appeared to be in the grave. Thank goodness the same God who raised Jesus from the dead raised my marriage from the dead.
We now have 2 more children and have been serving God together since 2000. Ii still pinch myself when I think about all that God has done. It’s why I have Psalm 26:3 hanging over the doorway to my master bedroom–“The Lord has done great things for us.” No matter how many years pass & how many trials may come, I never want to forget…
Praying for you now. Do. Not. Give. Up.
Little Rock:
I am not sure my comment will be read before the LPL event tonight, but I thought that sharing might be a source of healing for me knowing others could be praying for me, even if my comment wasn’t addressed by Beth. I’m 29 years old & have been married for nearly 4 years. I was recently diagnosed with a rare condition & found out I would not be able to have children. I will spare you all the details of the side effects I am experiencing, but emotionally I am a basket case. As a believer, who saved myself for marriage & has faithfully served the Lord, this has rocked my world. I struggle with questions & feelings to God I never dreamed I was capable of doing. I don’t have anyone who can relate to my diagnosis as all of our married friends now have children or are expecting this summer. It’s been a very lonely path to walk, but I am grateful for my family who have supported us so faithfully in prayer. Satan has been plaguing my mind with the word “barren” over & over again as though I’m inadequate & this is a punishment, though I am confidant it is not. Thank you for taking the time to read my current challenge. I am so looking forward to being encouraged by God’s truth this weekend.
Steph- Having friends right and left pregnant is hard to cope with when you can’t get pregnant! I am there with you now. I don’t have an official diagnosis but understand the unanswered questions “Why me?” God loves you and me girlfriend and knows your hurt/anger/confusion/etc! Praying that God reveals His beauty through your struggle and pain sooner rather than later! Praying for you!
RELATIONSHIPS:
I’ve had a strained relationship with my sister-in-law since we first met. Most of it was based on the fact that she wasn’t reciprocating the reaching out I was doing to her. I would call, email, text- all just to get a a short 2-line email from her. I couldn’t understand the lack of response and I begin to wonder if she just did not like me for some reason. I reached out to her several times, engaging her in long talks about how I felt and what she was thinking- but each time it seemed she didn’t understand or admit that her actions had hurt me. Over the years, with each “big talk” we had, my hurt grew into anger. It would literally eat at me and invade my mind during the day. It began to seriously affect my marriage as my husband didn’t understand why I couldn’t just “get along” with her. After every convo we’d go through the motions of forgiveness, but each time it failed once she ignored me again. Today, I understand its more important to forgive her for my own sake- to release me from the anger I have harbored for so long. Its also teaching me humility as I have had to apologize to her for letting my anger go unchecked when I believed I am entitled to how I feel. Its still hard, since this is a relationship I will have for life (considering God allows us long years of marriage with our husbands who are brothers). I’m not there yet, but desperately want to learn all of God’s lesson for me in this.
Kirstyn, this is my story exactly. May God bless you with healing! Keep finding your security in Him.
RELATIONSHIP-
I just had my whole other entry just randomly not go through. And I only came on here because I felt convicted bc I left a previous entry, and although it is meaningful, I chose it because it is much less painful, and it is redeemed.
This one is not. It is… much less well defined. I share it because I feel like there might be something you’re searching for that this might offer…call me kooky!
I am stuck somewhere between broken and redeemed in this relationship. It is a broken marriage. It was not my choice. We are still very much spending time together and romantically and spiritually connected, but the history is, that although during our courtship and engagement we were so on the the same page about God, our relationship with Jesus, how to resolve conflict, core values… when the going got tough… he didn’t get going. I wanted to seek help, seek therapy, seek wise counsel, and he shut down. My baggage of being a ‘quitter’ left me wanting to do whatever it took to make it right and make it better in order to stop the cycle… and his baggage of being controlled,left him stonewalling me. Instead of doing it my way, or his way, I suggested doing it God’s way, and looking into what that would look like… for every step I took in faith, it pushed him away. Every time I would even mention God (not about him or us, just a.ny.time.) it made him push God away even more. Push me away even more. So I became silent, dutiful (mind you, after many overdramatic attempts at metaphorically showing him the damage he was doing to a redeemable situation, I don’t want to downplay my negative dramaqueen contributions)I read power of a praying wife, spent months away, gave space, allowed a separation, even a divorce. We both have met with our pastor. Meet with therapists separately, although he only goes sporatically. He hopes for restoration, but says he knows he lacks the strength to be the husband he ought to be, and make things right, the way they ought to be. He’s waiting for some miraculous change in himself. I see his genuine hope, and then his roller coaster on desperation and hopelessness. He’s resigned to a life of lonliness, if he can’t have this big ‘breakthrough’ he feels he needs. My thing is this: He is not doing anything to me that I have not done to my Lord and Savior in the course of our relationship (Jesus and I). Am I not to turn the other cheek? Am I not to drop my offering and go to restore that relationship?
70 x 7, right? As much as it is up to me I am to live peaceably, right? Has God ever walked away from me? Never. I know that there are many more like me, who are complicated. They are stuck in relationships that are stuck somewhere between broken and redeemed.
Little Rock ~ But I guess it applies to relationships as well. We are in our late fifties; my husband whom I love with all my heart is in bondage to the spirit of pornography. He does not know that I know; he hides it very very well, but I do know as I have found evidence over the years and lacked the courage to confront. At times, I can feel that spirit of uncleanness in our home and between us. Even if a computer has a delete button and virus software, the images that he has invited in through his eyes cannot be unseen, and can only be cleaned through the grace of God. And truly, he is AT BEST uncomfortable with his relationship with God.
He was unfaithful in our marriage over and over as a younger man and I had no idea until he confessed it several years ago. What is wrong with me that I would be so trusting and have no clue? What is wrong with me that I do not know what to do now except pray faithfully for this dearer-than-life man?
I am burdened for him, for our sons, and for our nation’s young people. God have mercy.
Relationships
yes. a close friendship in christ was lost when i inadvertently told a story in a small group setting as an example to process a time when i felt anger. The story included her dice she was there. I found out after a month of strange distance that it offended her. i met with her and apologized and beggged for forgiveness but she has been unwilling feeling it is safer not to trust me anymore and to stay distant. we still attend the same church but she avoids me like the plague no matter how much i pursue her. it has been sad n painful for me.
Relationship: Frankly I don’t remember the details only how angry and hurt I was. Ihad poured into this person and one day her critical side just got the best of me and I had had enough and snapped. She was crushed. In a few days after cooling off I went to her we talked it out and it was numerous misunderstandings; we both apoligized and have been friends ever since.
One of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through involved the breakup of a friendship that was so deep, we had even willed one another guardianship of our children. Ironically, parenting issues were ostensibly what broke up the relationship. Much time passed with efforts on my part, the part of Christian friends and the Church to promote reconciliation. Eventually, patterns in my friend’s life were brought to light. It was a bittersweet “vindication”. In the meantime, though, the Lord was working on my patterns and He has been so good to me, even during the times I thought I was invisible, in the dark, maligned. He is so worthy to wait for, He is the ultimate audience, His ways are perfect.
RELATIONSHIP: One of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through involved the breakup of a friendship that was so deep, we had even willed one another guardianship of our children. Ironically, parenting issues were ostensibly what broke up the relationship. Much time passed with efforts on my part, the part of Christian friends and the Church to promote reconciliation. Eventually, patterns in my friend’s life were brought to light. It was a bittersweet “vindication”. In the meantime, though, the Lord was working on my patterns and He has been so good to me, even during the times I thought I was invisible, in the dark, maligned. He is so worthy to wait for, He is the ultimate audience, His ways are perfect.
Relationship: I didn’t think I had one, but then I remembered I have a BIG one! I can’t tell you the why of it. She was my mentor. I met her and felt so completely blessed. I thanked God and her over and over for everything I was finally learning about Him! She was my YOU on the other side of the DVDs. I felt like I was a part of her family in a place so far away from my own. Then it all started coming undone as she made new choices about her faith and now she’s gone. As quickly as my mentorship started it ended. I have asked God over and over to help me understand and bring her back and have desperately pleaded with Him to replace her but haven’t gotten a response. =)
Relationship: Friends affair with my husband. (May the Father be glorified)
During our ministry years my husband fell into adultery with my very good friend. It lasted five years but never became public, I suspected…, it was denied …but the ugliness reared it head over the years long after our ministry took us to another city. After 20 years my husband, broken and repentant, confessed to me. God had prepared my heart and I immediately forgave him although there was a process of grieving and we sought Christian counseling and “Praying God’s Word” became a manual for me. I journeyed through the dark valley to wholeness and light, but still unable to fully forgive my friend. After two years the Holy Spirit prompted me to call my friend and arrange a coffee date. I met with a sad and broken lady, who for over 20 years felt God could never forgive her. My gift to her that day was sweet forgiveness and a copy of “Praying God’s Word”. Our meeting marked the beginning of her freedom and completed mine! While we no longer shop together or enjoy the girl talk as we once did, we do keep in touch by email and frequent phone calls. My own growth in the Word is deeper and more vibrant than it ever was before. I am thankful, not for the valley of despair, but for all God brought me through because I would not otherwise know Him as I do today.
Little Rock:
I tried to comment last night but we had terrible storms near Little Rock last night and I don’t think I was able to post my comment… I don’t see it posted this morning.
I am 39…last week I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I have been secretly dealing with chronic pain for several months and have tried to ignore it. Getting this diagnosis has knocked the wind out of my sails. I broke down crying to my husband telling him that waking up every morning in pain and dealing with it day in and day out is wearing me down…and now I could be waking up like this every morning for the rest of my life?! Yikes. It really has my mind and heart swirling. I home school my 2 daughters and
I lead women’s Bible study in my community (20 minutes from your old stomping ground). We just finished the Tabernacle study and were able to go through a live version last week at Crossgate Church in Hot Springs. It was so wonderful… I sobbed from the time I entered the outercourt until I reached the Holy of Holies. It just spoke to me the depths that God would go to in order to dwell with us.
I know God has laid a special message for us this weekend and I NEED it. Speak it with boldness. I must replace the “what-ifs” with God’s truth and hold on to that.
Can’t wait for tonight, I know God will meet us there.
You have mentored and discipled me in ways you will never know. For that, I am forever grateful.
Thank you,
Tasha
RELATIONSHIP – 5 years ago my dearest and closest friend all of a sudden decided that she no longer wanted to continue our friendship. She was the one who I had shared all my deepest dreams, and secrets with. We served in a ministry side by side and had experienced the most amazing things of God and His faithfulness. She broke it off with no real explanation. To this day I don’t know why and it made it so much harder. She had sent me an email and refused to speak to me in person (even with a mediator). I felt as if I had gone through a divorce. I watched the enemy use it for division in the body of Christ. The whole thing was a devastating experience. Unfortantly, the friendship didn’t mend. I can tell you that through much prayer and living in His Word – He mended me. It took A LOT of time. I recently saw her and my heart didn’t hurt. I thanked God for healing me and working in me through this very difficult time. He has become my dearest and closest friend.
Relationship: Susan is two years older than me and when in high school I asked her to be my big sister. I thought we would grow old together. But the years took us different directions and we rarely saw one another or spoke. When she lost her own sister to cancer, I was in the middle of babies and far away and never reached out to her. Later I wrote to apologize for not being there for her and never heard from her again. She just turned 50 and I sent her a card. She’s the sister I always miss and I still long for us to be little old ladies together in the future.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
Relationship – I had a very dear friend for several years. I thought she would be my friend who we would grow old together, that nothing would tear us apart. However toward the end of our relationship, I realized it was completely imbalanced. She was always pointing out to me things that I needed to change about myself. It was not a 2 way street. A lot of tears were shed and prayers were lifted as to what to do about the relationship. I felt and still do feel that God was leading me to part ways. So I did. While it is still painful, I can see so many reasons why. Not only was our relationship not healthy. But things have happened in my life that she couldn’t have understood or been a part of. I can see God’s hand in all of this mess and pain. I am not sure if our relationship will ever be restored but I know that God is at work in both of our lives.
LITTLE ROCK –
Heading out the door in T minus 30 minutes from NW AR. I’m 40-something 🙂 bringing a couple of “newbies” and one starving-for-truth teenager. I’m ready for some flat-out Spirit and Truth worship and I’m looking for a WORD that speaks LIFE to me about more than more stuff to do. I need more JESUS in my life; more manifested power from His Holy Spirit bearing fruit for me in my weakness.
I. AM. TIRED. OF. ME.
Speak Lord…your servant is listening!!
Relationship: Best friend for 9 years, like a sister, a real true sister, our whole relationship was based on our love for the Lord. We prayed together, did bible study together, ministered together, raised our children together. The break came when she divulged private information about our family, specifically my marriage, to an outside source, but not just the information, what she perceived it to mean to her. When I was told by the outside source this occured I was in total disbelief. We worked for about six straight months to repair the damage, we prayed together so much for the Lord to restore what had been. However, I came to the realization that until the Lord did a healing work in me, I couldn’t continue in the firendship, I was just faking it and that wasn’t helping anything. It has been 4 years and I am free of my hurt and anger and have truly forgiven her, but I have chosen not to be in relationship with her anymore. I realize now that our friendship was not what I thought it was, I have learned so much about myself through all of this. I have grown in my faith tremendously, and although it was incredibly painful at the time, I mean, really bad, God has truly used it for good. I see now that it was a friendship that needed to end, and He knew I would not do it on my own, so He had to take me through it the hard way. But, amen for the hard way, ’cause it sure beats doing it my way!
Little Rock: Amber, late 20s, married. My husband and I are recently married and we moved to Little Rock to start our new life together. Since we have moved, he will not go to church. He loved the previous church and doesn’t think any other church will compare. I told him we have to try different churches to find the right fit, but he keeps making excuses (one is too big, the music is too contemporary).
What can I do? We haven’t been to church in 3 years and it has put a huge strain on our marriage.
Can’t wait to see you in Little Rock!
RELATIONSHIP:
She was returning ‘home’ after a turbulent freshman year at a Christian college. I was a grad recovering from a traumatic brain injury. We met the day we became roomies and talk the whole night long. We needed each other then. Over the next four years, healing, trials, more healing, and more God happened. We woke up one day to “Whoa girl, you have one strong personality.” Reciprocated by “Well, girlfriend, so do you!” These words were never spoken, but driven through our hearts. Fast fwd 15 years, we both lead women’s ministries (& both love you Beth!!). Deep down we are still each other’s BFFs – we just lived it too long to undo…but there is no iron sharpens, no prayer together, no heart fellowship. We just rub each other the wrong way every time we try. Craziest thing…not sure either of us knows how to handle both of us being healthy. But I love her to pieces. Did I mention we married brothers? And I miss her.
My mother’s husband molested 3 of my children and she chose to stay with him. She said she would not leave his money. She then lied to family members and said I had “brainwashed” my children to tell the “lies”; turning pretty much all of my extended family against us. Even though he eventually confessed to law enforcement; the family members have not changed their stance. We moved to a different town to start over. My husband, children, and I say our family tree starts here: us after our heavenly Father.
RELATIONSHIP: I am going through a difficult season with a friend who has been part of my life for the last ten years. The short version is that I had a miscarriage two years ago, and have wrestled deeply with grief and depression since then. I don’t know how to say this so that it doesn’t sound selfish, but she simply hasn’t been there for me the way I needed one of my best friends to be. Then, recently, she announced her pregnancy to me in the middle of a crowded local restaurant and spent 45 minutes talking about how excited she was about decorating the nursery, etc. I know she has never sought to hurt me intentionally, but it sure has felt like it at times. I finally had to ask her for some space because I would get so angry being around her. She responded with an email telling me she would pray for me. A wise woman told me recently that forgiving her may not mean reconciling our friendship, and while that is sad and hard to to think about, I recognize it may be reality for us, at least at this point in time.
Relationship. I grew up being best friends with a girl I met at church and went to school with. We were inseparable. Her and her family’s Christian example have been priceless to me. Once I got engaged to my now husband, we started growing apart. We talked about it and she said she felt like I needed to be with my man instead of her. Even though I let her know that my fiance and I were very supportive of the other one spending time with friends. My husband thinks she didn’t like him but she never said that. We made it to the wedding and she was my maid of honor but now we are really only acquaintances, only saying a quick hi when we see each other at church. So it wasn’t a dramatic break in a relationship but it hurts. And I’m too proud and afraid of rejection to admit that to her.
When I moved far away from home–for a ministry opportunity–two of my closest, best friends (bridesmaids at my wedding!) said that they could no longer be my friends like before. Though we all went to church together and had known each other for years, they said that a long-distance relationship was too hard/ they felt abandoned. I worked very hard to be sure and visit, call and write them regularly. However, they have kept true to their word and snubbed me. Hard stuff. I know that God will be true to his promises and reward those sacrifices, but they hurt a lot.
OOPS! That story about my former bridesmaids and moving away was a “Relationship” story.
LITTLE ROCK: mid 50’s So looking forward to this weekend with you! I am attending with my sister, daughter,daughter in law, her mother and sister. Also here with about 7 from the Revelation study of beth’s that we just completed. The biggest challenge my sister and I are facing is the mental illness of our 63 year old sister. She is bi polar and doesn’t take her medicine. She recently had an unsuccessful suicide attempt. She is now living with our elderly parents bc that’s the only place she feels safe. We are trying to balance the needs of our own families and those of our parents and trying to get help for our sister. And when does loving her become enabling her? We need God’s wisdom and His compassion and mercy to replace my angry feelings for all of the chaos this has caused.
John 15:35 KJV
By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another.
Beth! My friend Stephanie who just lost her step-daughter and unborn baby decided to come tonight. I am so excited she is here.
And darned if I didn’t go and win a contest today! I won a 3-wheel motorcycle, $15,000, and a trip to Los Angeles!! Woohoo!!! And now I get to hear Beth Moore! What a day!!
I had a friend I went to high school and college with. We had all our babies at the same
time. Her marriage went south and mine was healthy. I could do nothing right, she told
me I was ‘holier than thou’ many times when I didn’t want my daughter to do some of the
things she allowed hers to do. She remarried a new believer and is happy, I thought
we would be able to resume at least some of our friendship, but she completely walked
away. I never judged her, I just wanted to protect my daughter. She rsvp’ed to my daughters wedding and then never showed up. Our girls were best friends until they were
14. They are now 28 and I have to say it hurts me still. I would have never given up on her,
no matter what. We didn’t have to stay best friends but we had many years of history
together. I would love to hear what God has done in her life, but it is not to be here.
Relationship
I recently suffered a rift in a friendship that, in my mind, had been bound with cement. I misspoken word, unintentional remark and a volcano erupted. I just knew I had lost the best friend that God had ever blessed me with because of my own ignorance. What I did seems so simplistic though. I don’t know how much it can help someone else. First of all I had to acknowledge my fault in the situation and accept my friend’s right to be angry. Then I prayed. I gave it to God because He was the one who brought her into my life in the first place. I accepted the possibility of our relationship never being the same even if and when she forgave me. Then I stepped back and waited. I left all doors open for her. Praise God, it didn’t take her long. She gave me a good dressing down and got all of the hurt out and then we agreed to disagree. I left it in God’s hands and He brought it around again. Our relationship is just as close as it was before and stronger as well. When you go through the fire, you always come out stronger.
Relationship: My husband’s sin had found him out. It was the worst day of my life. Devestating. A bomb had hit my home and the shrapnel (?) was hitting me the hardest. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t think. As a result of my husband’s sin and my decision to honor my marriage vows, forgive my husband, and work this out(my husband clearly repented and I see the fruits of repentence), my adult daughter refuses to have any further contact with me. Nor am I allowed to see my precious grandaughter with number two on the way. My parents have also refused to have any contact with me. My father is a believer. He hasn’t spoken to me in almost a year. My mother and my daughter have both made a profession of faith and neither have spoken to me in a year. My husband and I recently attended a family function (other family members with whom I have continued contact with) and my mother was there. She refused to speak to me. It has been amazing to see this play out before my eyes…I can’t believe how hurtful my own flesh and blood can be…especially at a time when I needed them most. I thought as believers they would understand. I thought they respected my faith. Matthew 10:34 says that Jesus came to bring a sword; my decision to obey God has resulted in that “sword” being drawn. I’m paying the price of my husband’s sin and the cost of my obedience. But it’s okay; Jesus paid a high cost for my sin. He can relate to my pain. God is showing me much through my suffering. It is well with my soul:)
Ephesians 2:8-9
8. For it is by grace you are saved,through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- 9. not by works, so that no one can boast NIV
Relationship – A dear friend has recently ended our relationship without explanation, depsite my efforts towards reconciliation. I try to live by the words in Matthew and go to my brother to work things out, but the other party was not willing. It’s hard to accept that during the hardest trials of my life – they’re not there to support you and they won’t let you support them. Some days it’s so hard to taste and see that the Lord is good when my sister rejects the very thought of me. I in no way intentionally hurt her and have apologized. It hurts deeply that the trials in my life are too heavy a burden for others to help me carry. I never meant to be a burden to anyone.
Meg,
Your pain and disappointment is tangible. I felt it in the depth of my heart as I read your post. I can tell your wound is fresh. I felt compelled to respond to you. I have walked in shoes of that nature where there was so much going on in my life and it was ALL extremely heavy. It seemed like one thing alone was enough to sink my ship not to mention the 15 other things that were happening, too.
It was during this time in my life that I too felt like I was walking alone. My dear, Meg, you are not alone. He placed you on my heart. He led me to read back through these posts. My eye fell to your post. He compelled me to respond to you. You know what that says? He has turned His eye to you. He has heard your cry and felt your pain. I am praying. Right now. Remember who the burden bearer is. I pray healing to your heart whether this person is to come back to your life or not. I pray that you will find refuge in the Shelter of His Arms and that you will sense His presence NOW. You will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have been visitied by the Lord and your heart will be made glad. I pray for peace to come in the chaotic places of your life. In Jesus name! Amen
Relationship
Several years ago I was ministering someone who was in need. For some reason no one seemed to want to help her. Anyway, there was a small team of us. Well at one point several people who were not part of this team decided that they had a problem with one of the other members of the team and assumed much about the rest of us. I was one of the rest of them. There were many lies told about me and I was never given the opportunity to defend myself or to tell people the truth of the matter. Anyway, some who I thought was a good friend was among those making false assumptions. Our relationship never recovered although I tried to make it right. The funny thing is I always thought that she was such a strong Christian and hoped that one day I could see Gods hand in everything like she could. One of the things I was accused of was being prideful. So you can see the irony of the thing. I was so insecure it was not funny. Well at this time was just starting to gain some confidence, but after all that my confidence fell. I did apologize to her. Unfortunately, as I said before our relationship was never recovered. What I don’t get is why people assume that what they have been told about someone,who doesn’t really know, is true. Never seeking to find out if the damaging info true from the person who is being talked about.
Relationship – I have two quick ones to share one that has been resolved in a godly way, the other one is still broken.
The first one was when my husband was in part time youth ministry. We both had a mentor type relationship that went south. The people we met with were not married, but were friends and broke the bond of a mentor relationship and talked to each other about my husband and I and what we were sharing with them. While we were married less than 5 years, had a young son and I was struggling with postpartum depression – during this time we were “wrestling” with some issues, not sin, just issues. Anyway they talked to each other, went to our pastors and said our marriage was in crisis. Our Pastor’s believed them without talking to us and we had a forced intervention. We have tried to reconcile, but one party will not admit that any wrongs happened (on either side) and the other party has fallen into a sinful lifestyle (affair, divorce, and no longer attending church). It breaks my heart that this happened.
The other one that has glorified God was where an older woman confronted me about something that I felt she was off base and because of my tender heart as a result of the above situation I wrote her off. After much prayer on both of our parts, about a year later we were able to reconcile with humble hearts and hear where the other was coming from. Praise God for growth!
Relationship. Beth, I hope I’m not writing too late for you to read this, because I want to tell you thank you. I have a happy ending to one of the most painful stories of my life, because I listened (about ten times in one week) to your “A Wise Heart” and “Wising Up With Friends”. I could probably say them along with you, hee,hee. My best girlfriend and I have been ‘sisterly’ close for ten years. We go to church together, teach Kindergarten together, travel together, our families love each other, etc. We both love the Lord with everything in us, and desperately want to be His light every day in our public school. We are compatible in almost every way. We both love people, love to laugh, and love kindergartners. People would comment to us that we were so blessed to have each other. And then, about two years ago, something started happening, just out of the blue. For example, we might be shopping, and one of us would make a comment that would take us into this awesome conversation,(because we had those deep talks often), and suddenly, we would be in a HEATED argument…not just a friendly disagreement, but something UGLY and hurtful. It was the strangest thing! We did that for about two years…off and on, off and on. She was “killin’ me”, as you say in your video, and I’m sure I was killin’ her, both of which devestated me. Anyway, it’s a long story with lots of details, but I camped on some of the hurtful words for so long, that I think I went into a depression. I quit my job, mid-year, after ten years in the same classroom, righ across the hall from my bff, and yelled out to God that I was sorry to tell Him this, but that I hated her….I don’t think I’ve ever said that word before. That’s when I started listening to your “Wising Up” series. When you talked about “emotional murder”, I went into a sobbing fit and told God, “not really…I really don’t hate her…really, she’s the best friend I’ve ever had, and I thank you for her.” I followed your suggestion in “Wisdom With Words” and wrote down the hurtful words, and then found ten truths from His word, and ‘recorded’ over those lies that the enemy was feeding me. I wrote them down on a card, and sometimes may have had to read them twenty times a day. But, is was a new recording, and it was truth. I read them so often that they are now in my heart to stay! My friend is an incredible woman of faith, and I praise God that she is in my life today. Our reconciliation was cautiously pursued, and it didn’t happen over night; but today, a year and a half later, we love each other dearly, and we are iron sharpening iron. Glory to our God!
Tricia Wendell, NC
Galatians 2:20-21 NIV
“I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body,I live by faith in the Son of God,who loved me and gave himself for me.
RELATIONSHIPS
I just read this blog a little too late about the question Beth was asking regarding relationships. I was so sorry not to be able to answer it on time and was wondering if she talked about that at her event and how I could get ahold of the teaching perhaps. I experienced a very painful parting of ways with my best friend that I had been in relationship with for 14 years a year ago and still hurt and miss her a great deal. I could use some insight. Thanks, Jariza
Nancy,Bridgewater, NJ
John 15:7 NIV
If you remain in Me
And my words remain in you,
Ask whatever you wish,
And it will be given to you.
Relationship:
What happens when your best friend that you job-share with (which allows both of us to work part-time) gets pregnant so easily when you can’t get pregnant month after month? How about when she wins a $10,000 raffle at a Charity event you both attend soon after finding out about her pregnancy? And how about with only 10 weeks left in her pregnancy she announces to you that she feels called to quit our job and stay home with her 3 children, leaving you fearing the future of your job? Thankfully, these events came over time and thankfully we both love the Lord. I know she prayed for me over these past few months as I needed it! That is a true friend and the key to any successful relationship! I was so jealous over her pregnancy and then boiled when she won the stinking money! How fair was that! At least I should get the $10,000 since I bought a dumb raffle ticket too and they were $50 each! In time my jealousy subsided as I prayed about my feelings. I still have not gotten pregnant but am truthfully not jealous. I am happy for her. I will sometimes get tearful out of the blue when another friend announces she is expecting but hard feelings toward those friends are not harbored. I still want to have a baby but know God opens and closes the womb…so in His timing or maybe adoption! Now I have shed LOTS of tears over my best friend leaving our job-sharing role and the Lord has heard my every thought about it! This was the hardest part to accept but I was threatened. As a mother (of one child) I know the on-going debate: Working Moms vs Stay at Home Moms and felt our part-time job-sharing deal met the positives of either side of the fence. Here she was saying that one side was better for her right now. I thought, “Great! Now she has a baby, stays home, while I might have to work full-time and leave my son more often and not have a baby!” I was mad and confused about what I needed to do for me and my family! I was sad our 5 year job-sharing experience was ending too. But through lots of prayer and saying bible verses out loud ALL the time (particularly James 1:5,Philippinas 4:6, Romans 8:28) I accepted her decisions with understanding. I still don’t have a solid plan for my job when she leaves but I have options to choose from and I am not pregnant today but remain hopeful. Through our faith we know God brought our friendship together, created a wonderful working arrangement for us, and will have us friends for life. God has used our friendship and these events to teach me and thankfully I am listening Lord. Thank you God for my beautiful friend, for being patient with me, and loving us both more than we truly can conceive!
I believe that not all relationships are meant to last. I have ended several friendships for various reasons. Sometimes because the person is clingy or possessive, or behaving in a manner that is unhealthy. But most often the reason is a lack of common ground in spiritual matters! I have only known Christ a few years and feel a deep need to study, serve, seek, and constantly challenge myself. In order to become the woman God wants me to be, I must change and grow! Many of the women I have met at church seem content with their level of spiritual maturity. That’s okay but it’s not what I want from a friendship. I want a friend that is willing to seek and dig deep along side me. I am a wife and mom of three. I don’t have time for stale or surface relationships– ones in which we talk about shoes and tv shows. If I am going to spend time with someone and therefore spend time away from my family, I want something more. I have not regretted ending a friendship.
Relationship issues regarding believers I have had a few of, but one really comes to mind. While this person and her family had always been wonderful to me, I was struggling to hold on to some other relationships, and those people did not like this friend (well, at least behind her back). So, trying to impress other people, who I really felt a strong tie/bond for at the time, I let this friend “go.” As it turns out, I grew apart from those other people, and after I did what I should have done in the first place (prayed and talked to the person in question) we were able to mend our relationship and are closer than ever. We are also both convinced that God has woven this friendship together and we both vow not to let others pettiness distract us from what and WHO really matters!
charlotte carty
lexington, Ky
Romans 10:13 (NIV)
Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.