Siesta Survey for Your Mama’s Insight

Hey, Darling Things. Let me blurt out from the beginning that you guys are so dear to me. I genuinely love this community with a heart full to the brim. Your comments to Sunday’s post drew me in, made me smile, and some of them made me laugh out loud. Per the question, how far was I from the little farm house when the rancher saw me and reported me in certain peril to my man, several miles. Keith and I are still amused by it but we are thankful for such good neighbors. Just when we think we’ve gotten a little more normal, something reminds him and me that we are caricatures that could be fodder for the weirdest sitcom on network television. Shiver. I’m just picturing my character’s hair. And the size of her Bible. And, eewwww, the accent. And picture the double barrel shotgun in Keith’s character’s hand. But, if they show him without a shirt, cry foul because that’s not my man. Never, I do mean NEVER would my man go without a shirt outside the shower. Nor does he respect a grown man that does. (Unless he’s in his swim trunks and those better come nearly to the man’s knees.) He also gives the stink eye to a grown man that wears his shirt open two buttons. That’s not cool to Keith. And if the man has on a gold chained necklace, you best keep him out of Keith’s path all together. OK, Lord, have mercy. How do I get off on all this stuff? It’s y’all that bring this out in me.

Here’s the reason why I’m posting today. I’m looking to my favorite community for insight regarding this weekend’s event and maybe, if any of it pertains, for insight toward the taping for James in May. (Much more on that later because I really, really want to enlist your prayers.) These are my two questions and please notice that they pertain to two different groups among you.

1. To anyone in our blog community: This one’s wide open. Have you ever experienced a painful breakage in a close relationship you had with another believer? I’m especially talking about relationships that you believed at the time to be woven together by the bonds of Christ but something happened that resulted in a fissure. If so, WITHOUT DIVULGING ANYTHING THAT WOULD IDENTIFY YOUR PERSON, what happened? And here’s a really important part of it: did the relationship mend or did you go your separate ways? Please stick to one meaty paragraph because I want to read every single entry. If it’s too long, I’ll have to skip it. Remember, no names or pieces of information that people can track. We never want to dishonor anyone on this blog. So that I can differentiate between answers to this question and those to the next, please start your comment with the word “Relationship.”

2. Limited just to the people attending this weekend’s LPL in Little Rock, Arkansas: I’d love to already have a few of your stories in mind for this weekend. In a compact paragraph, would you please tell me your first name, your general age group, whether you are married or single, and your biggest concern or challenge right now? Please keep in mind that I could very well share it with the entire group as an example of the kinds of things we’re dealing with in our audience so your comment will act as your permission. Please, please don’t leave a comment I can’t share or I could end up getting it confused with the others and telling it by accident. Remember, you are entrusting your personal information to Blonder Than She Pays To Be. Also don’t make stuff up as a trick so you can get a kick out of it when I tell it. Yes, people do stuff like that on blogs and it’s totally lame. Don’t do it here. So that I can differentiate between this answer and the ones to the previous question, please start your comment with the word “Little Rock.” If you are also answering question 1, please do it in a separate comment. This will help me immensely as I peruse the survey.

You guys are rock stars to me. Thank you so much. May all of this information and everything else that happens on this blog ultimately bring greater fame to the powerful, healing, saving Name of Jesus Christ.

Our Lord.

And Savior.

 

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994 Responses to “Siesta Survey for Your Mama’s Insight”

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Comments:

  1. 101
    Beth says:

    “Relationship” These are the stories we don’t want to share…but God allowed them for a purpose. My husband and I were called to a church that was states away from our families…and we were called immediately after getting married. We were so welcomed into the church and formed close relationships with many of the leaders of the church as well as the other members. To stick to one paragraph, they all turned their backs on us and stabbed us multiple times. The ministry there was phenomenal and we felt at home, but after an event for the youth, we were sat down and fired upon – some very close friends now criticizing our every move and not allowing for any mistakes or second chances. Within 4 months, my husband was brought before the deacons of the church, in a secret emergency meeting (doesn’t that say, whoa! Get behind me Satan!), and he was ripped to shreds and forced to give his resignation. We were forced to leave within 2 weeks, no pay, no help to get back to our families states away. God came through, as he always does and money was to us from my parents church to pay for our move back to our home state. We have separated ways with almost everyone from that situation, we still keep in contact with a few who saw Satan in action and prayed for us. I have to contantly forgive them everyday. God is good though 🙂 there’s a reason for every season, Praise God!

  2. 102
    anonymous says:

    Relationship
    It must be an epidemic, at least in these parts. So many friends struggling with this, and I think we have talked to death about the difference between ‘living at peace’ and unity with the brethren vs those times that mimic Paul and Barnabas. To answer your 2nd question first – the relationship is not fully restored, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that if either really needed something, we would be there for each other in a moment. As to what happen; boundaries: having a relationship based on one being a fixer and one not having healthy boundaries. But if one gets healthier and starts having good boundaries, but the other hasn’t moved to that level yet, separation seems to be inevitable. Painful? Extremely. Permanent? Hopefully not.
    Praying for God to continue to speak His word into you that each women may receive a personal Word from Him at Little Rock.

  3. 103
    Janice says:

    Relationship:

    I once had a dear friend that I loved very much. She was not a Christian when we met, but over time I led her to the Lord and she and her family attended our church. To keep a long story short, she suffered some hardships that caused her to question God and eventually she walked away from church, God, and me. I tried to encourage her and keep the relationship intact, but she wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything related to Christianity. I was devestated and the hurt lasted for several years. I run into her occasionally and I don’t hurt anymore, but I feel very sorry for her because she definitely has gone her own way.

  4. 104
    Leah Adams says:

    RELATIONSHIP
    In the early 90’s (yes, eons ago) I developed a friendship with an older woman I met at my church. She was a believer, or so I thought. At least, she said all the right things. After we had been friends for several years, she told me about a book that she had read that ‘changed her life’. She encouraged me to read “Embraced by the Light”. I read it and immediately my spiritual radar began screaming like a banshee. It was New Age to the core, yet she was so moved by it. I just could not sit by mutely. (Not that I have been mute too many times in my life.) I talked to her about the book and my concerns for her spiritually. She was enraged and cursed at me and told me that I was narrow minded. We parted after that and our friendship ended. I saw her once afterward and it was a very strained encounter. I have never heard from her again. I was broken-hearted because we had shared some wonderful times, yet I felt that I had no other option but to speak truth to her.

  5. 105
    Beth says:

    “Relationships”
    Let me say this is my first ever to post a comment! I had a precious friendship that spanned fourteen plus years. The kind of friendship where you loved one anothers family as well as extended family. Very healthy give and take relationship that never missed a beat even after my family moved several hours away. Then one day it ended. I never knew what or why. All attempts to contact were ignored or if my friend responded it was as though I could not say or do anything that was not ill received. She was going through a rough time with a teenage child and although I thought I was supportive, I obviously was missing something. Months and then years passed. Any communication was because of my initiation. Then one Sunday my Pastor preached a sermon from a series about forgiveness. He mentioned that sometimes we might need to ask forgiveness from another person (even if we don’t know what we did). This would possibly allow the other person to let go of whatever was holding them down. I had said years before that I was sorry and meant it! But, at the Holy Spirit’s leading I called and relayed to my friend the reason for the call. I said, “I have never known, and have no need to know now, what I did or said to hurt you and thus end our friendship. But, with all my heart I am so sorry and would ask your forgivenes.” She was taken aback, stunned a bit, but said she accepted my apology. Then, proceeded to tell me the offense of so many years earlier. It was my turn to be stunned. What was so easily fixable many years ago had become a cancer that had eaten away at my friend to the point she actually believed herself justified in allowing a precious friendship to die. God has taught me so much through all of this, not the least of which is a truth that has become fundamental to my growth in the Lord. While friends on this earth are Godly and precious, they will never ever fill the hole that only Jesus himself can fill in my heart. He has taken his rightful place in my heart and mind. The object of my affection! I am learning to realllllly love my friends, children, husband, son-in-laws, grandchildren with the love of Jesus and as a result keeping a right perspective on those relationships. Never expecting them to be who only Jesus can be in my life!

  6. 106
    Laurie says:

    RELATIONSHIP

    Beth, I love you Siesta Mama!

    Unfortunately this happened to me recently and I thought literally that I would die. We started out well and with the best of intentions. When I realized I had been holding them up as an idol, I fell to my face immediately and confessed. They knew all along but did not say anything. They wanted me to figure it out on my own. We stopped communicating for a time. Then we tried to pick back up and they would throw out these things for me to think about and areas where they thought I may have needed to grow. I wondered if they saw themselves as my mentor more than a friend, but they assured me that it was a friendship. I was going through the first chapters of Breaking Free when I realized there was still a remnant of that idolatry which needed to be torn down. I shared this with them and let them know that somehow things needed to change but that I did not know how yet and was praying for guidance. I also let them know I still cared. Based on prior experience, I thought they would actually be glad that I came to this conclusion “on my own” without them having to tell me. Instead, they became furious. I apologized but they just cut me off cold. Wow! I was shocked and hurt and confused. They wanted nothing to do with me. I realized after some time, that it was not either of us alone, but, a toxic combination together for reasons I will probably never know. We see each other at church and wave or say hi but that is it. It still breaks my heart to think of it, but, I will say God has used it to help me face some of my worst fears and to know He is with me every step of the way working all things together for good!

  7. 107
    Sarah says:

    I had a close friend who I had known since we were in the nursery together in church. Our mom’s homeschooled us (and our siblings) together all growing up. We were best friends, and even though we drifted apart a little, I considered her a dear, loving, childhood friend. She started dating this guy while in college. I had already been married a couple of years. She wasn’t having an appropriate relationship with this guy…they were living in sin without any remorse. I lovingly confronted her about it, offering her accountablity. She refused and became distant. Close to her wedding (which I was supposed to be a part of), it came out that she was mad at me (and had been for over a year). It also came out that her future husband did not like me. He actually sent me hateful, curse-filled emails. She wasn’t sorry for her sinful behavior and two weeks before the wedding, told me that I was no longer welcome to come, let alone be in it. It broke my heart. I had tried to point her in a right direction. I had spent over a year praying for her constantly…sought godly advice from our pastor and worried about her for so long, and she broke my heart.
    I say all of this to say that it has been a year and half and the Lord has worked a mircale in my heart. I am able to say to that I have completely forgiven her for hurting me. The Lord did it. The Lord changed my heart. He taught me so much about myself, forgiveness, and love through the whole experience that I am forever grateful to him. We are no longer friends. One the occasion that we speak, it is only on a surface level. I mourn the loss of our friendship, but pray constantly for renewal.

  8. 108
    conwaymom says:

    Little Rock, Karen, 49, married –
    I guess where I’m at now is probably where many women are at and that is being in a season of letting go. My kids are growing up and am facing more serious issues with them as teenagers and realizing that I have dreams and hopes for them to be godly men and women that they may or may not want to embrace. Letting go of my kids and releasing them is something God is working with me on. I am also trying to let go of my youth and my looks. May sound vain – but I’ll be rolling into 50 this year and let’s just say everything isn’t what it used to be (grin) but letting go of these things are hard for me. I feel as if I’m letting go of so many things that I just can’t seem to find the words to express what is in my heart. My dreams for myself – you wake up one morning and it just seems life is flying by. I want to have a sense of purpose and hope for my life in this season. I just feel so discouraged and disillusioned that things would be different – but they aren’t.

    Beth – everyone has a different kind of hard. Someone may hear my heart and think that doesn’t seem that hard to them. I may hear someone else share and think it doesn’t seem to hard to me. But the truth is everyone has a different kind of hard that is hard to them. And that matters whehter we understand it or not.

    I’m praying for you…

    • 108.1
      Tess says:

      Oh Karen… I so relate to you. I’ll be 49 this year. Giving my kids their “wings” is so hard for me too. “Mom” has been my identity for so long. Although I never thought of myself as vane, I am sometimes frightened when I first look in the mirror in the morning and see my reflection. It may sound weird, but the more I feel my mortality, the more I want to make every moment count, and that brings me His joy. I am ALSO a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and the child of the Most High. I hope you have a good friend to confide in. 🙂

    • 108.2
      FloridaLizzie says:

      Karen, I was reading through the comments, and your post stopped me in my tracks. I pray God will meet you in Little Rock at the event where Beth is speaking. I went to one of the Deeper Still events in Orlando about 18 months ago, and just pulled out my notes from it 2 weeks ago when I was dealing with a hard situation. Beth’s words from Scripture and her own hard lessons helped me again, along with the other speakers, Kay Arthur and Priscilla Shirers.
      Let me just say that what you are facing: kids growing up and not being as godly as you hoped, releasing them, releasing your own youth and looks, and wishing for more purpose are things I have faced in recent years. And they are hard things! Last year at age 49 was tough. But 50 has been one of the best years ever! I almost want to stay 50, because it’s been such a great year of learning in the Lord! God is knocking out some of the props in your life, and refining you to put your hope in Him alone. I asked God last year why I was in such a dead- end job, and then I lost the job. And then He gave me a job that has made me feel so much purpose, being a light in a nearby “mission field” doing work I feel very excited to be doing. God has created a hunger in you, because He’s getting ready to fill it! Wait for it! Believe He is going to meet you this weekend. I am praying for you right now.

    • 108.3
      JulieLynn says:

      I remember you….

      We passed in the hallway
      Or, one day on the street
      I walked right on by
      Or eyes did not meet

      I know you were sad
      Your heart had been broke
      You didn’t say….
      Not a word had been spoke

      I walked away smiling
      For the journey your on
      The life that you knew
      It’s over and gone

      For hearts badly broken
      Tore open inside
      Now there’s’ more room
      For love to abide

      Abiding is easy
      Meant to soothe and to heal
      The location is handy
      It’s a place where you feel

      Not on the outside
      Like cold days and things
      Its just the heart speaking
      It where you soul sings

      So sing away friend
      I’VE BEEN THERE TOO
      I hear your pain
      And I’m praying for you!

  9. 109
    angie says:

    Relationship

    In my 20’s I met another lady at my church- we were about the same age. We became instant friends. We were friends for many years. Sometime after she was married our friendship broke down. I can’t recall what it was exactly but she refused to talk to me anymore. I was devastated. I proceeded w/my own life and sometime later during a bible study God brought her to my mind. He wanted me to humble myself before her and seek her forgiveness for anything that I had done that upset and offended her. I wrote her a letter in sincere apology and asked her to forgive me. She contacted me after getting the letter and we resumed our friendship, sort of picking up where we had left off…in a good way. She has sinced moved to FL and I never get to see her anymore. She will always be my friend.

  10. 110

    RELATIONSHIP
    Some number of years ago I had close friends who’s daughters were in the youth group just ahead of my children. I volunteered with the youth group and worked with both of their kids. The wife came to me on several occasions to ask for my advice on handling situations with the girls. The husband became an elder in our congregation and I considered him a spiritual mentor (with all the appropriate boundaries). So I felt very close to the whole family. Over the course of two years or so, I noticed that the whole family pulled back in our relationship and I couldn’t figure out why. The wife called me one day and just raked me over the coals about something in our women’s ministry and the husband went to great pains to avoid speaking with me at all. At the same time, God began to impress upon me that broken relationships in the body were a place where Satan can gain a foothold and pressed me to repair any broken relationships I had. I went to two other people and those relationships were repaired. Since the husband mentioned above was an elder, I requested a meeting with him. At that meeting he let it be known that he had backed away from me because he and his wife felt I had acted inappropriately with him. He could not give any concrete examples and I knew it wasn’t true…and I still don’t know what was the real cause of the brokenness. But I was devastated that he would make such an accusation and at the loss of the relationship. Unfortunately, the situation was never resolved. It brings me great sadness to think of it…and I pray that one day God will be able to redeem the situation in some way.

  11. 111
    Sarah says:

    LITTLE ROCK
    Hi Beth, My name is Sarah, I’m 27, and I am married. I must say that its been so great to be apart of your blog community and I’ve very much enjoyed memorizing scripture with you and all the other devoted women out there! I hope to be at the conference this weekend to hear the great word the Lord has given to you. My biggest challenge right now is letting God be in total control during this crazy and busy time for my family. My husband is in the middle of accepting a new job in Northwest Arkansas in which we would need to move this summer, our house is currently on the market, I’m pregnant with our second son and he is due the first part of June, and we don’t know for sure what our housing situation looks like once we move to Northwest Arkansas, whenever that may be. The Lord has definetely been present during this whole time and we are confident in Him that this is the move He wants us to make. My challenge comes in wanting everything to be perfect for when our new baby gets here and trying to sell our house by a certain time, etc. This is all stuff that I cannot control. The only thing that is going to give me peace during this stressful, yet exciting journey, is putting my trust in God and knowing He is Sovereign. It’s challenging! Thanks for listening. Can’t wait for this weekend!

    • 111.1
      Melissa says:

      Sarah…Would love to welcome you “home” to NW AR! Been here 5 years now and I know the move will be hard, but the Body is here too waiting for you. Would love to have you visit our church – New Hope Fellowship in Springdale – we meet at the Holiday Inn (15 years now!!) It’s a small church…I have the Library table at the back of the room. Come see me!!

  12. 112
    Jean says:

    Relationship. I had a group that met in my home (and did Beth Moore studies). One of the participants invited a newbie to join. She turned out to be a master manipulator. I was deceived into disclosing something personal about one of the participants. I take FULL responsibility for my part. The master manipulator took the little tidbit of gossip and ran with it to the other girls including the one whom it was about. It has been YEARS now since the group broke up and I still attend church with all these girls except the manipulator who moved away. I have apologized repeatedly, begged forgiveness, agonized over the issue and fallen bereft before the Lord over it. I cannot forgive myself and the woman I hurt cannot forgive me either. She acts as if I don’t exist. It has truly broken a piece of my heart. The betrayal surrounded an issue regarding her husband which wasn’t a secret but wasn’t common knowledge. The manipulator asked me if it was true and I confirmed it. The husband later spoke about the issue in front of the congregation.

  13. 113
    Mindi says:

    Relationship

    I was 18, and my best friend and I had a wonderful, Godly friendship. We were friends from the crib, and I was certain to the grave. I fell into sin that year and betrayed her trust. I was ashamed and remorseful of my actions and repented to her and the Lord. She forgave me, but our friendship did not continue. We are from the same small town (and both no longer live there but have family and mutual friends who do) so we keep up with the major happenings in one another’s lives through the grapevine, but we’ve never shared the connection and communion we once did. There’s still a lot of love there and wonderful memories of the river we were riding, but my sin and subsequent betrayal shot us down different tributaries, and our paths haven’t merged again. I learned a valuable lesson–you can sincerely repent and avoid eternal consequences, but you can’t avoid the earthly consequences.

  14. 114
    Kate says:

    Relationship: LONG ago, I attended a church different from any I ever attended. The second week there a very prominent member of the church began writing me notes and encouraging me which I thought was the kindest thing ever. We became close and one day she asked if she could mentor me…I said yes. The mentorship turned into control. I saw it and others cautioned me, but I felt powerless to the control because of her position. When I questioned what was going on I was “dis-fellowshipped” from the church for “questioning authority.” I cried for months thinking it was God punishing me. I didn’t lose 1 person; I lost the majority of my friends because of this ordeal. Needless to say I was forced to go a separate way; however, 12 years later after the life of my friend was severely altered, we happened upon each other and the Lord mended our severely broken relationship. Today, our relationship is real, and healthy.

  15. 115
    Cristi Gentry says:

    My best friend, I mean we would talk every day for an hour, all of our prayer needs were shared. One day she just quit calling me. We had weathered a church split and everything, so this was devastating to me. Later I spoke with her about it, (like a year later)and she just passed it off like everything was ok. I had brought it to the Lord and He helped me to work through it, but our friendship has never been the same. We are still friends, but in the most casual way. Not at all like it was before, then we were kindred spirits, now aquaintances. Makes me sad, but the Lord used her to make me who I am in Him.

  16. 116
    Brenda says:

    Relationship

    A painful break in a strong Christian friendship occurred about eleven years ago following a week long trip away. There were to have been 2 gals and 2 guys but in the end there was only 1 guy. Recipe for disaster. (He had his own room.) About 2 days before the end of the trip, games were played and hotly denied. It seemed like a case of two is company and three is a crowd. Things were said that probably shouldn’t have been said. When we returned home all our paths still crossed but distance was kept and things were chilly to say the least. Time passed. (They both eventually married but not to each other. The fellow disappeared off the radar screen years ago following his marriage.) The turning point in the estrangement came after a mutual Christian friend (who had been a sort of mentor to the other gal) was killed suddenly in a car accident. The death was a huge shock to us all and I was probably the only one who understood the depth of loss that was felt by the other gal. Things thawed somewhat. More time passed. Then we both lost a parent and experienced strained family relationships due to the change in our respective family dynamics. Our relationship has mended over time and we now talk on the phone and see each other about once a month. The break that occurred is never discussed and that whole episode is best left in the past. There has been enough water under the bridge that the whole episode now seems insignificant and of no account. We are both older and hopefully wiser now and have grown through our walk with the Lord so that now we can share time with each other and encourage each other on our paths.

  17. 117
    Janet says:

    Relationships

    I have had two close friendships that had a painful period. One of the friends was going through a challenging time at the same time as I, and she seemed to resent the fact that I had no energy to give to her or her problems. Eventually we talked about it but have never found our way back to being close. I’m not sure we were ever that connected but similar interests and perspectives drew us together initially.
    The other friendship had a period of time that was very awkward and difficult and I never knew why. Even when I asked, there was no straight answer. Over time, the friendship has been renewed but I do still wonder what happened in that separation period. It makes me wonder if it will happen again.

  18. 118
    Andrea says:

    Relationship: I just went through this very thing this past year. It was one of the hardest things I have ever undergone – not only did I lose someone so dear to me, but it revealed some very ugly pride and neediness in my own heart (which, praise Jesus, God has helped me deal with!). While our friendship was very much Christ-centered, we both brought some stuff to it that was not. For my own part, I played a very needy, insecure woman who needed approval and my sense of worth from this friend. In the end, I could not see beyond myself to help her in her own time of need. I myself was also hurt, but I won’t go into details because I want to make sure that I am fair to her. All in all, the friendship dissolved, although I did ask for forgiveness and freely offer it as well. I am sad I have lost such an important person to me because of my own selfishness, but it did teach me to be a better friend in the future.

    • 118.1
      Catherine says:

      Andrea, I read your entry and almost did a double take. I had a friendship that ended last year and I could write exactly what you did and describe my friendship. In my friendship, my friend was needy and insecure and I really tried to help her, but in the end, I could really do nothing. I had to leave it in God’s hands. I pray that God would bring some wonderful Christian friends into your life, but that you would find your worth in Him. 🙂

  19. 119
    Melinda says:

    I had a best friend that was my constant companion from about the 6th grade until we went to college. We both loved the Lord, and relied heavily on our mutual faith to get us through the tough high school years. We sang a duet at our high school graduation. We went to separate colleges and stayed in touch, but began to drift apart a bit. We always saw each other in the summers, and I felt we were still close. She was in my wedding, and had wonderful things to say when she was videotaped by our videographer about her happiness for us, etc… After my wedding, I never heard from her again. I moved to another state with my new husband and I tried to reconnect with her every time I came home for a visit. I would even call her mother to make sure I still had the correct phone number. Once her mother siad, “Oh, I just talked to her, I know she’s home. Call right now!” When I called, she didn’t answer. I left a message saying I’d be in town for two weeks and would love to get together. She never returned my call. I have now moved back to my home state, the one where she still lives, although in a different city. I tried to call again when we moved back, and she still did not return my call. It has been nearly 14 years since we have spoken. I have no idea why the relationship ended after my wedding. She never married – maybe that has something to do with it. But in spite of running into her mom occasionally and hearing that she is doing well, I have never had any contact with her. I guess I have given up on pursuing the relationship, because it seemed fairly obvious she no longer wanted anything to do with me.

  20. 120
    Vicki Taylor says:

    Relationship

    We were friends for several years, serving in the church together. Our husbands were great friends also. We did everything together as couples. Went out to dinner, went to the lake together, you name it we were always together. She was my best friend. She also consumed all my time. One day a new couple joined our church and they decided they wanted to “minister” to them. I did not know what had happened. She never returned my calls, I never saw her again except at church. I was devasted. What had I done wrong? It was like experiencing a death to me. It took me several years to overcome it without becoming bitter. We are still friends, but not close. I am a lot more cautious now and will not allow myself to get caught up in a situation like that again. My husband is my best friend now. I also have two ladies I am close to.

  21. 121
    Stephanie W says:

    Relationship:

    Just the two of us, on our way home from a wonder filled Christ inspired weekend event we drove hours and hours, chatting away at what we learned together. I do not recall the exact context, but my girl said something in regard to “millions of years ago”. You see, I was not as old of a Christian as she. I was only 9 years in the Lord, and she some 30 some odd, and well, she was also my elder in age. I believed in Creation, she did too, so why the millions years ago? When I asked for more detail on that viewpoint, she spilled more and more of what she believed to be true. My main point was in regard to the age of the earth and that the Bible says Adam and Eve were THE FIRST. She didn’t agree, and in my heart I was distressed that all we had shared that meant so much to me was all for naught, because we didn’t actually believe the same things. We still had a few hours left in our car ride, and boy was it tense and uncomfortable. We resolved to agree to disagree and I asked her if I could present her with some scripture and other research. Indeed, I asked her to forgive me for being to black and white, when I felt I lacked to love her gently while speaking the truth. This conversation we had was not a “salvation deal breaker”, and I was too harsh and as someone younger than they must have appeared to be a “know it all”. We still today, dearly love “achother” and are working on To Live Is Christ, though she hasn’t changed her view. I know I have grown in love, and by golly, she has told me so.
    Thanks for letting me share this growth lesson for me, it was “for such a time…”

  22. 122

    Relationship:
    After having my first child, I felt so lonely, and felt God really placed four other women in my life, who were also in the same season of young motherhood and I celebrated so much, having friends who got it!! We bonded over sleepless nights and teething. We had more pregnancies, babies, and celebrations over the next few years, and were tight. I mean, phone calls about everything, daily emails back and forth, girls nights, couples date nights, the works. We were very exclusively in each others lives, and I now know there were women looking at us that longed to join in our fun. I’m ashamed to say that we were so tight, we didn’t readily draw in anyone else, though we weren’t mean to them- we just had a good thing and didn’t even think about anyone else. Over time, as women do, several of them bonded over some things that others in the group didn’t, and that little fissure became a crack that broke it all very painfully apart. I’m talking two years of excruciating friend junk in the break-up of the group. Apologies were eventually made, as we all sought to please the Lord, but it was never the same. I did all that I could to be at peace with them, keep no record of wrong, and though we could run into each other and smile and be friendly today, you’d never know how close we all once were if you were an onlooker. It’s sad, but it also doesn’t hurt anymore because I think we all truly forgave one another and moved on with life.

  23. 123
    Cyndi says:

    Relationships: I have been brokenhearted this past year over a relationship. My dear friend for many years started talking behind my back about my daughter. My daughter has struggled and placed herself in some bad relationships this past year. She is an adult and we are close. My friend would want me to know things about my daughter and instead of telling me she would tell others that she thought would tell me. She believed some things that were untrue and spread them. She sent some unkind messages to my daughter which hurt, rather than helped, the situation. This whole time I have not known what to do so decided to love her anyway and pray for her which I have done. It still has changed our relationship. It broke trust and I do not feel close to her. I talked to her about it but it doesn’t seem to have helped. She still is constantly trying to get information out of people about my girl. She has always struggled with this type of behavior and I have always had to be careful when having a conversation with her to stop her when she talks about others and to not say much about personal struggles but I still loved her. I feel sick about this whole thing.

  24. 124
    Donise says:

    Relationship:I had a really close friendship with a believer that I not only served with in ministry but with whom I spent lots of time. She mentored me through some big growth periods in my own life and I would have done anything for her.The crazy part was that I can’t really point to one thing that led to the rift, were expectations on my part or hers not met? Was something done or said? I don’t know but I really miss her. I was hurt and felt rejected. During a women’s retreat we were talking about forgiveness based on Luke 6:27-31 and I was able to reflect on our friendship and to see that I needed to ask for forgiveness for whatever I had done. While we are no longer in each others lives we have a met a few times in the last few years and I see that our friendship was only for a season. I am, however, so grateful to God for her!

  25. 125
    Kristine says:

    Relationship: Two close friends of mine and I all attended the same church. Friend “A” had an issue with friend “B”. As in most cases, neither of them were innocent. Unfortunately, instead of going to the Lord and to “B” with her concerns, “A” literally had a complete public meltdown, and really, child-like fit in front of our congregation. The fit resulted in a split in the church and much grief for all members of the body. “A” was never able to see her own sin. Instead, she became completely hard-hearted and embittered toward B. I tried, as a mutual friend, to act as a mediator between A & B. While B moved in the direction of repentance, A’s bitterness, anger, and lashing out grew. I found I could no longer invest in a friend who refused to acknowledge her sin, only caring about herself and denying that her actions had hurt so many. Thankfully, my friendship with B grew. B’s example of humility and forgiveness (even toward those who don’t ask for it) continues to be an inspiration to me today.

  26. 126
    renesandifer says:

    RELATIONSHIP: Dearest Beth,
    Thank you for asking! It is with the permission of my oldest (soon to be 24) daughter, that I write this. We SO believe it needs to be talked about. I expressed some of this to 2 siestas during the Ruth study last summer, and they have been prayer warriors for my Hannah (&me thank you Eposi & Kath).One meaty paragraph, deep breath, still sobbing as I revisit, here it goes.
    Their relationship was rooted in their faith from the get-go. Both at a very large TX school, met through YL, dated in “groups”, then a relationship, all the while persuing God and His plan. 3 years of his courting her, both graduating, getting a job, asked for her hand in marriage, and a six month engagement. THREE weeks before the wedding he called to say he was having second thoughts about a few things and wanted to postpone. Devasting isn’t a strong enough word. None of it made any sense, not much even now. But I knew there would be no wedding, because God had intervened. A close friend and fellow pastor said “it was most likely the most painful GIFT God would ever give her.”. YES. A hundred times yes. When the boy called to tell her,she was home with us for Christmas(don’t even go there). And when they got back together for a counseling appointment, he gave her hope, said he wanted to do whatever was necessary to make things work. But 2 weeks later, he drove up and they talked/cried for 3 hours. He just said they were incompatible. That’s it. He couldn’t completely verbalize, and she said you’re not going to fight for us? She finally left. And they have never spoken or seen each other since. It has been a year and 3 months. She loves Jesus, and she knows He has a purpose, but it has turned her direction in life upside down. She is still healing and looking for God’s purpose and will. So much I could say, but will stop.
    Hannah asks WHY? Why did God even let them meet if He knew this would happen? All I know is why DID He intervene at all? Yes, a gift, indeed. Knowing more now, and seeing a bigger picture, we are grateful God loved all on both sides enough to stop the union. But the unspoken, fall off the earth, like it never existed, relationship has been flat out hard and wierd.

  27. 127
    Kelly S says:

    Relationship:
    Yes. Members of same church for years, Sunday school class, and lifetime friends. Several things contributed to fissure, and family dynamics changed (marriages, death). This wasn’t just two people, this was two families, so its more complicated than I can explain here. Basically, as I prayed about it, and read my bible I kept hearing “separate”. (I happened to read Abraham and Lot, Paul and Barabus) Extremely painful to walk through, and relationships are not the same today. But, we are friends in a different way.

    Hope this helps ~love you

    ps. making plans for Charlotte LPL with my mom AND my daughter! wha hoo 🙂

  28. 128
    KansasGirl1135 says:

    RELATIONSHIP:
    Just writing this breaks my heart! There are many more specific details to this, but here is the general story. My husband and I became friends with this other couple – very close friends! We spent time together weekly, vacationed together, and were in a Life Group together. After 18 months of this friendship, we exchanged a piece of furniture with each other. I was adament that they make sure they were comfortable with it and that it was worth equal value, etc. After the exchange took place, my friend’s husband decided that we had been plotting all along to get that piece of furniture from them – from back at the beginning of the relationship – which was absurd! They quit calling, quit spending time with us. She and I both had babies around that time, so I let it go for a while, but finally had to approach her directly about the situation. She explained her husband’s stance on the issue. I offered to return the piece of furniture to him, to do whatever it would take to mend the relationship. But his paranoia over what he accused us of doing was too strong. She was my best friend at the time and my heart is still broken over this. When we see them at church we talk briefly, but my heart still hurts. So, no, the relationship never healed back to where it was, but I would forgive him today if he asked for it. My conscience is clear but my heart is still sad!

  29. 129
    Felicia says:

    Yes, I had two friends. The first was like a mentor, but I believe my immaturity caused her to not want to continue being my friend. My latest break involved someone I have known for years. I thought we were really close and then after doing a study on the taming the tongue and some issues evovling with her child, she became distant and stop calling me. I realized that maybe God is calling me to be a better friend, i.e. learning to love and be giving, and that He may be changing the type of friends I need during this season in my life.

  30. 130
    Jo-Ann says:

    Relationships for members of the military community take on a whole new meaning. I have “lost” several relationships just due to proximity. When you can no longer meet every Friday morning for prayer, you are no longer linking heart strings and the relationship fizzles.

    Another example is when I was a new believer, I felt like I had to share EVERYTHING with EVERYONE otherwise I was not being truthful. Thank you Jesus that I have been healed of my broken past and my need to tell all the ugly details that go along with it. I lost a friend who had the shock and awe of the seemingly bottomless pit God brought me out of.

    I have learned through both of these situations that:
    1. God never leaves us even when we move constantly
    2. As long as we do not deceive ourselves and repent of our past and prayerfully follow Him, everyone does not need to know the trail of mud that Jesus has cleaned up. God will speak very clearly when He wants us to totally share our testimony to bring Him glory.

    Thank you for all that you do in His glorious name!

    Blessings,
    Jo-Ann

  31. 131
    Tammy says:

    Relationship

    Several years ago, my very best friend and I came down on the opposite sides of an issue. She felt she needed to handle something in a certain way and I believed she was wrong and could not support her and did not feel like the Lord would have me do so. It pretty much severed our relationship. She was crushed at my reaction and I was disillusioned with her decision. Again, we were the very best of friends who had seen each other through the betrayal of one spouse and the cancer diagnosis of the other. We were sisters in the Lord and prayer partners. Over the years, we have been able to build a new relationship. We are not close buddies anymore and do not talk often, but when we can get together we laugh and remember the old times. It will never be the same but we have made peace with one another. I regret the loss of what we shared but I do not regret my choice and I believe she feels the same.

  32. 132
    Jessica (College Station,TX) says:

    Oh Beth, I am going through a breakage right now! At this point, it does not look as though things will be mended. (Bring me to tears to say it) We were like David and Jonathan-our hearts were like one. Our friendship started in God’s Word and it thrived in Bible study and prayer. We pushed each other in the Word and in living God-pleasing lives. I could count on her to tell me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear.
    Something happened when I started teaching a Bible study for women our age at my church. Literally overnight things went sour. She started making fun of me in front of the other girls. Everything (and I do mean everything: hair, clothes, kids, meals, housekeeping, weight, marriage, faith, service etc) became a competition. When I tried to talk to her about it she became very defensive and angry. It’s been a few months and I still do not know what happened. She used to not have any problem confronting me if I said or did something that hurt her. I can hardly type for the tears. Beth, I miss her and ache for her; I grieve for our friendship.

  33. 133
    Lisa curtis says:

    Relationship! Boy howdy do I have a situation for you. Close friend of 25 plus years made a comment about one of my girls that hurt deeply. She apologized but I still struggled. The pain manifested into miscommunication and an escalating anger that exploded the day before my daughter’s wedding in October 2011, 5 months after we buried our grandson. While on a vacation with a mutual friend over Christmas she made me very aware we were both at fault. First day back in town I called and met with her to clarify and reconcile and restore. It was a very difficult thing and we spoke for over two hours when at the end she also brought up a wrong she had against me for over 4 years but never brought to me. God has healed our relationship completely and taught us both some hard lessons about forgiveness and the power of the tongue and the sweetness of restoration. To God be the glory.

  34. 134
    Anonymous says:

    Relationship. I became a Christian, from what I have heard, later than normal – in my early 30’s. It was as if this whole new world opened up. Meeting genuinely good-hearted people that truly accepted me for who I was. And, at the time, I was still learning who I was in Christ. I gobbled it all up too, Bible studies, conferences, reading on my own, I couldn’t get enough of the Word or learning about it. Well, I was returning from a conference one day with a dear sister-in-Christ, and she decided that she was going to tell me everything that she thought was still wrong with my life. I was pretty taken aback and just sat there in the car, wide-eyed and silent. By the time we got back to the church, where all of our cars were parked, I just burst out in tears. She did apologize, and I certainly did forgive her, but since that moment our friendship has been pretty strained.

  35. 135
    Deidra says:

    RELATIONSHIP:
    Psalm 41:9 described perfectly the way I felt when betrayed in the worst way by my trusted friend. These were friends we served with in ministry, worked together, played together, and worshiped together. And yet sexual improprieties toward my young daughter forced the severing of the friendship this side of heaven. There has been forgiveness but no restoration of the friendship.

  36. 136
    Not my real name says:

    Relationship: My dearest mother-in-law was someone I looked to and relied upon. There were events in the family that were difficult, and I believe she drifted into selfishness and maybe a little anger with God….and during this same time, I grew in the Lord. That leap into true faith for me started while studying Daniel with you. I asked the Lord for discernment and thirst for His Word during that study. He answered. BOY did He answer!! I didn’t realize it would cause me to drift from those that weren’t so close to Him. I wouldn’t trade it. Jesus means everything to me. I do love Him so. I just long for my mentor from before to be a friend now. We are close by most standards, but in my heart I know she doesn’t really know me. I think she doesn’t really like me…because she sees Him in me. I know she doesn’t really know Him like she could…although she is saved. I still love her and am thankful for what she did for me and for raising my sweet man in a Christian home. I just miss her.

  37. 137
    Jo Ann says:

    Relationship

    I had a break with one person (but I wouldn’t call it that painful to me) who I thought was connected to me as a christian friend (and someone I also knew from a young age) who became very angry at me when I was giving reasons or encouragement that she attend church instead of watch on TV. She was angry and said I was judging and has not talked to me since.

    Also, there has been what wasn’t really “painful breakage” when I thought a friendship had been woven by the bonds of Christ and I was thankful for it but the person just cooled off toward me and it was sad to me.

  38. 138
    Cynthia says:

    Little Rock
    40-50
    Married

    Biggest concern is letting go and letting God. After 6 years in women’s ministry leadership at my local church God told me to step away. He is now leading me down another path. Still involves women but in a different direction. Beth it took God YEARS to get me to the point I would let him push me out of the shadows to use me. Now he is asking me to get WAY out of my comfort zone and do something that I never dreamed I would do. Cheri Keaggy has a song that says,”A faith that has never been tested is growth that is long over due.” Growth is where He has me and frankly it is a little scary.

  39. 139
    Gina Kell Spehn says:

    Relationship.

    Worked on a substantial project with a Christian sister for many months. She suffers from chronic pain and also had a child who survived cancer. She is an incredible witness of the faith that sustains! The project we worked on was a “Prayer Box” that she wrote and wanted to make available for sale. We worked, prayed, encouraged one another and ultimately produced the boxes for her to sell. My husband was dying of cancer, and toward the end of his life, I left the prayer box ministry. I was blessed to be able to focus exclusively on my husband and two young boys. Shortly after my husband died, my friend, who was still suffering from chronic pain asked me for his narcotics (which hospice disposed of, thankfully). My heart broke for her. This was not the cause of our separation, but it was a source of tension for me. Shortly thereafter, the senior pastor of our church was taking heat from some members of the church. My friend was among the people who slandered our pastor and caused much pain for his family. That pastor, along with the entire leadership team of our church, left within six months. God was definitely scattering the seeds. The sinfulness (on all sides), and unforgiveness that led to this “scattering” divided our church and ultimately destroyed my friendship with my Christian sister. We have not spoken in more than two years.

    • 139.1
      A Friend says:

      Gina, I feel for you. It sounds like you have gone through a lot of heartache One thing though, about your friend and the narcotics… if you ever experience chronic pain, true long term debilitating pain, you would truly understand why she asked for them. Please try not to look down too hard on her for this. I am not saying it would be right to give them to her but it appeared to cause tension between yall. Pain can cause you to do a lot of things .. because it is hard to deal with over a length of time. It breaks you down physically and emotionally. Like the saying goes, Before criticizing a man, walk a mile in his shoes. From one who has lived with long term pain, I understand where your friend is coming from. She is just wanting relief.

      As far as the rest of the story, I hate to hear about a church being torn apart. I was in a church in my early years that had a similar experience. In the end, everyone gets hurt but … God carries his children through these events and heals them. He is our source of strength.

      Hang in there and God Bless.

  40. 140
    Amie says:

    Relationship – Yes, I met my friend 14 years ago, we were both military wives who did not live in the same state, but we were instant friends at that first meeting. We stayed in touch on the phone and email, very close, told each other everything, prayed for each other, best of all we would get on the phone and read the Bible to each other, we just would be reading something so powerful in the Word we had to share it with the other. Never a problem, wonderful woman and family, loved them, they loved us. Then five years ago, something changed. We were to meet them for a mini-vacation in another city, we arrived the day we agreed on to find out they had come a few days earlier and were leaving the next morning! We did not question them, but thought it strange. The next year, she called me excited about something she could not share on the phone, she was visiting someone about three hours south of me and wanted me to drive down about two hours that Friday night so we could spend the night and next am together. I was excited and would have done it in a heartbeat, but I was tired from working and have night vision problems. I asked if I could leave really early in the am and come meet her instead or she could drive further and meet me halfway the next am and she said no – I had to go that night. I said I just could not trust myself on the road, why couldn’t we meet the next am? She said she did not have to tell me and she had to go. She did not answer me when I called her for quite a few days and when she did, I apologized if I had done something to offend her, I just could not figure out what was wrong, wouldn’t she tell me? She said she did not owe me an explanation and hung up! I received a letter from her telling me it was best we go our separate ways! I could not believe it and still wonder to this day why she acted like that. She did not respond to a follow-up call or letter and that was four years ago. It still hurts. I don’t understand how as a Christian you can just forget about someone after such a close relationship, especially one in which we often acknowledged that God brought us together. We even went to see you together one weekend! I still miss her and would welcome her friendship with open arms.

  41. 141
    Angie says:

    I became a believer on November 18, 2001. MY BSF leader commented on how I had to be prepared – Satan was going to strike. So.. I said Satan.. you can strike anywhere but not my marriage – big mistake. Long story short it was my best friend – a fellow believer who I went to BSF that was the object of my husband’s intentions. They had an affair. I went to her workplace after it was all said and done and healing took place and told her I forgave her and that I still loved her – could we be best friends and do everything together… no but I certainly would continue to pray for her. I do see her from time to time and hug her lots when I see her but we don’t call or do anything together anymore. God has blessed me with the best friends now and their husband’s are my husband’s best friends too:)

    As for my husband.. he is still my husband and God is so gracious – my husband came to Christ about 9 months after that happened and he often says it was my actions that led him. I am so thankful for that man. God has just given me lots of forgiveness towards him and just blessed our marriage oodles. I know you said one paragraph but I couldn’t help myself 🙂

  42. 142
    J. says:

    Relationship
    Unfortunately, I have experienced a very painful break in a relationship with a dear friend. We met at our old church and for years we were like sisters. I never believed our friendship could be broken. However, when she found her spouse, our relationship desolved because fortunately, she and her husband are very close and she does not need a close friend anymore. The more I tried to discuss this with her, the more determined she became to exclude me from her new life. Finally, she told me she didn’t think God wanted us to be close at this time in our lives. I knew then it was time to move on, but at times I still miss my friend. From others opinions, it seems that she misses me at times too, but because I’ve been burned for speaking up, I don’t anymore & I think she is afraid to approach the subject as well. Occasionally, we have lunch and enjoy each other’s company, but we can’t seem to establish a real friendship again.

  43. 143
    Midwest Mama says:

    Yes, I am very sad to say. I really don’t know what happened. She was my very best and oldest friend. Went to school together, in each others weddings, knew all each other’s stories and secrets. Precious, precious friend. Time went by, and at least a decade of living in different time zones… I went through a very difficult time in my marriage and depression, just rock bottom. She was there for me but then when it was all mostly over and things were back to normal she stopped returning my calls, standing up our phone “dates” and generally disappearing. It HURT. I miss her but I’m mad too. For some reason her rejection makes me feel ashamed. I feel too stupid to pick up the phone and ask “why.” (not that I believe I’d get through or would have my call returned) I wonder if I was just too weak in that season, too needy. I was always the strong one before. I am ashamed of my neediness too. I just don’t understand what went wrong.

  44. 144
    beckyjomama says:

    Relationship:
    (one paragraph … whew, ok…)

    There was a woman I considered my “other mother” (as well as her whole family as my own). She was my rock through many health issues and a constant source of prayer and spiritual support. Someone whose walk I REALLY admired and looked up to. But there began to be rift in our church (where I was leading worship) and, after a long talk with the pastor, I felt God lead me to leave that church home (long story, if you knew, you would understand. NOT pretty). I discussed my choice with her and she said she was fine. An old friend left at the same time and months later we began dating (his marriage had ended well over a year before we began dating – his wife had been unfaithful), but rumors began circulating that we had been asked to leave because WE were the ones who had been unfaithful. I was hurt that she had never denied the rumors. But not as hurt as I was when I learned that the pastor had started the rumors and she had defended him AND his stories, thus betraying me and my (now) husband. I have tried to talk to her about it, but have never had a call, letter or card returned. And, it breaks my heart to this day.

    (hope that wasn’t too long. It’s hard without details…)

  45. 145
    Cathy says:

    Relationship

    Status: close relationships still broken

    Story: Pastor/pastor’s wife in small church for 15 years. Video ministry grew up within the church. Brought in another pastor to be free to direct the video ministry. While working overseas (still are overseas) the new pastor “manipulated” (nurtured bitterness, jealousy, insecurity, etc.)relationships that had been friendships and ministry relationships for years. We found ourselves “kicked out” of the church that we had served. The video ministry was not “pruned” away, so we continue with that. I have asked God that we all be healed — and until that day comes, “I keep asking!”. But for now…I wait, hoping that my heart pours out humility and love when the moment comes to be restored!

    THANK YOU!!! I can’t tell you how your teaching and ministry were a light that God used to shine the comfort and truth of God’s WORD and PRAYER into my life during those months. I can’t say it enough — THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! The greatest personal fruit in my life from it all — praying the Word! With myself, for myself, at the drop of a hat with any friend that needs any help. That is what I’m know for now — praying the Word with people. I LOVE IT!!! Thank you, Lord!

  46. 146
    Michele says:

    Relationship – YES! 8 yrs ago I was new to God & church. Pastor’s wife took me in & I spent a lot of time with them. She was the mom I always needed, and for the first time in my life I felt loved, valued & part of a family. Then a year or so later, she started getting distant. I didn’t understand why, and the emotional/relational abandonment was a painful parallel to my childhood. One problem is that she has weak boundaries. She can’t say no, so when I’d ask her to go to lunch, she’d say “Yes, but idk when” and then avoid me like the plague. The other problem was that coming from a healthy Christian home, she didn’t understand my issues and had no idea how to help me. Through the years we have worked through some issues, and had times of separation. Now we are cordial, but not friends. She won’t open up, she doesn’t share herself with others (not just me).

    The worst part was during a difficult time, I met with her husband (the lead pastor) because I wanted to launch some teaching ideas I’d had, but he turned the conversation to his wife and blamed me for everything (things that she took responsibility for later). When I told him he hurt me & wasn’t being fair, his insecure self rebuked me and essentially grounded me from teaching anything in the church – but again – same weak boundary issue, he won’t come out and tell me I’m banned from teaching, he just says, “let’s wait and see what God does.” Both our associate pastor and my counselor agree with me, but in a small church, the boss wins. I am still looking for a new church (and reading Henry Cloud’s “Boundaries”).

  47. 147
    carla says:

    My friend of 12 years had an affair with my brother and it devestaed me! She did apologize and we mended our relationship yet we do not really hang out any longer. We do see each other occasionally and the love is there but I miss the closeness and fun we once shared. Thank God for restoration–in us both!!!

  48. 148
    Ola Mae says:

    Relationship-I asked a friend about her couples small group from church, as I was trying to find a group for my husband and I to connect with. She told me how great it was, how they served together, had community, cried together played together, sounded like everything I knew I wanted in a couple’s small group. When I asked her about visiting it, she clammed up. “It’s really too full right now. We just can’t take any people new coming in. It’s good the way it is.” It broke my heart, then I started noticing she treated me differently, more shallow less depth. The crack it caused seemed to be one she was fine with. No mending, we have gone our separate ways to an extent, but when she asks for prayer for a family member, I respond. Not because I love her well, but because Christ loves me well and wants me to. But there’s pain in those offerings of prayer for her loved one.

  49. 149
    Dawn, Pottsville says:

    Little Rock…Dawn,45-50 age group, married…tears began welling up the moment I read your blog for I long to hear from the Lord thru you this weekend. I’ve been married almost 23 years, have a special needs boy that 20 and another son that’s 17. Didn’t grow up in church but my husband did. I have been a member of my present church for 10 years and love it dearly. I love serving the Lord especially concerning the women’s area. The more I serve the Lord which I think is the right thing to do, the more struggles I have at home. Raising a special needs child is such a blessing, but it is also filled with such trials. I feel trapped in the special needs box, then trapped in the church box, then trapped in the home box and all I want is to feel free to live for God thru taking care of my son, my family, my husband and my church but all of these things don’t seem to work together. My 17 year old son and I attend church and my husband and 20 year old do not. The division seems to chip away at my spirit bit by bit.

    • 149.1
      JulieLynn says:

      Special eyes

      My name is Adam
      And I’m only a kid…
      I came with autism
      (They say that I did)

      But I raised my hand
      When God asked us ‘who?’….
      ‘Who loves you like him-
      And wants to live here with you?’

      They said it’s not easy-
      And I’d have to be smart…
      Cuz the label they’d give me-
      Would still hurt your heart…

      Well I jumped up first!
      And I held my hand high…
      Because I just knew-
      That I’d be -“that guy!”

      So they said I was ‘special’
      (But it’s just a disguise)
      Because when I wear it-
      You see through my eyes…

      Others are ‘special’
      In the world that I see-
      But they say – I’m special…
      ….So they’re nicer to me!

      I’m happy I’m special-
      (I like the disguise)…
      You’ll know what I mean-
      When you see through my eyes…

      The best part about ‘special’….
      I get to live here with you!-
      …You see you’re much nicer
      When you see like I do…

      God said we’re ALL ‘special’-
      (And in life they’ll be worse)
      But I’ll never forget…
      Who said we’re all special first!

      From the book: The writing’s on the wall
      by Kaptian Obvious

  50. 150
    L.M. says:

    The painful breakage I experienced was with my college roommate. We were two peas in a pod although we had come from totally different backgrounds. Our church backgrounds and our faith in God were quite different too. She was a believer but didn’t have that day to day relationship with the Lord. She saw the Bible more as a great piece of literature and I as His love poured out to me, alive and active. We attended church together on Sundays and had many deep discussions. And in between times we had a ball together, living out our college life to the fullest. I loved that girl! Then it was time for me to move on, as I had a student teaching assignment back at home. I would be leaving her alone in our dorm room for a semester and I really think she resented me for that choice. Meanwhile I became burdened for her spiritually. And being the good Campus Crusader I was, I thought it would be a good idea to go through the 4 spiritual laws with her to see if she was really where she was supposed to be in her walk. That was the end of our friendship as she was as offended as anyone could possibly be. That was over 20 years ago and I have not been in contact with her since. How I pray that someday our paths will cross again. (facebook and such have proven unsuccessful in finding her.) I can’t think of my last two college years without thinking of her. What a blast we had! What a heartbreak the end of that friendship has been…even after so many years.

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