Big Sisters and Little Sisters

I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:

“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”

Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.

Have I been there, my beloved little sister?

Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And part of me survived. And part of me died.

And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.

And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.

I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.

YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.

I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”

Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:  encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.

Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:

If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”

If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”

Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)

Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.

Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.

Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.

One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.

Psalm 25.

I mean it.

I’m going to be asking you about it.

OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.

Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.

I love you.



2,048 Responses to “Big Sisters and Little Sisters”

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  1. 501
    evie says:

    Big sister here… Let me tell you the devil is a liar!! In the midst of the whirlwind start speaking/claiming His promises. I remember a season in my life where I would physically open the back door to our house and comand Satan to get OUT!!! This may sound a bit out there but sometimes that easy the only thing I could do in order to stop buying into his lies. If I was driving in my car I would lower the window and cast him out.

    The enemy took much away for a long time but God in His faithfulness and lovingkindness has restored my life. Lil’ Sis stand firm knowing that HE cares for you. Memorize His promises and speak them every time your thoughts begin to wander away from what is truth.

    • 501.1
      fuzzytop says:

      Evie – I have missed you! I remember when I was going through a very difficult time and your words were such a help to me….


  2. 502
    Janet from FL says:

    BIG Sister in Christ here! Reading some of your posts little sisters, I am moved to say — get in a Bible Study.
    If you don’t have a group of women you can meet with in person, join the Nehemiah study online at the Women’s Bible Cafe, or start one of their other studies. I get so much more of God’s word to chew on, when I am in a Women’s Bible study! In the Nehemiah study, Kelly Minter talks about our minds and hearts need protection. That we need to be careful what we put into them and what comes out of them (by our mouth, by our moods)…You know what I mean! Stop feeding your minds and hearts with garbage and lies from the devil!!! And I would add that our backs need protecting, because there is a big “Kick Me” sign on our backs, and we don’t see it coming. Ask God to get your back. Ask sisters of prayer, to cover your back. You need protection little sisters from your prayers and from other sisters praying for you. Look to God for your answers! If we turn to God for help, He always delivers! God bless all you siestas! You are true sisters in Christ, and God loves you all!

  3. 503
    Melanie says:

    Little Sister Here… I’ve been praying desperately for God’s will to be done in my life. I hope more than anything I can fulfill the plans He has for me. My husband and I have been struggling to start a family – trying for almost 3 years. While these are trying times, I’m fighting (kicking and screaming!) to hang on to God. And to know that if this isn’t happening, then it is because He has something better planned. My mind reminds again and again of verses from the Bible, but sometimes I feel my heart harden. I can’t understand WHY this is happening.

  4. 504
    Corinne says:

    Big sister here…
    Oh my dear little sister,
    Put His Word into your heart. Memorize, memorize, memorize. Write out those spirals and take them with you 24/7.
    No matter what the enemy throws your way, God’s Word will sustain you and give you hope when no hope can be found.
    Keep your eyes on Him, dear sister. Only on Him.
    The things of earth will grow strangely dim when your eyes are turned to Jesus.
    Sing praise to Him when no melody is in your heart.
    Cry out to Him and know He hears you.
    Put Him above all else in your life.
    Trust Him for who He is.
    You are so loved, my sister. You are so loved.

  5. 505
    Letha says:

    Big sister here —- I certainly remember the little sister land of frustration, hurt, anger, and bewilderment. First I will pass on four words that have helped me at the worst of times: “This TOO shall pass.” Even though it’s hard to believe it when we’re in the midst of such enemy attack, eventually Eventually EVENTUALLY we get to the other side and look back. When we do, we see Jesus was right there with us through it all and our faith has increased in a miraculous way we couldn’t have imagined possible before.

    Second, unless the LORD is pressing you to do otherwise, you don’t have to DO anything at the moment. We somehow get into the mindset that we must do something about the situation we are in. We are human BEings; not human Doings. If we leave the doing to God, He will. We can just BE — rest, reside, remain — in Him.

    Hang in there, girlfriend. This too shall pass!

  6. 506
    Rhonda McClellan says:

    Big Sister here: Dear Ones, Your Savior would have you know, you are never alone. He will not leave your side. He won’t imitate our behavior and go to another room, He won’t walk away. His love is not conditional. His love just is. It’s unfathomable, but it’s the most sure thing in life. The fact that you are on this website shows His divine hand. God is in the details – guarantee!! When you need encouragement and a trusted friend is in short supply or just busy – spend time with Him. Some of your posts revealed loneliness. I get that – when my children were young I also cared for my elderly grandmother who required 24/365 care and suddenly I had no friends. God will fill every role in your life and He will also in his knowledge of what you need open doors to good, healthy friendships/relationships. Read the Psalms daily as they will minister to you, no matter where you find yourself in life. When the enemy is battling you, battle back! Be aware he is an expert in psychological warfare. Here’s something I do when the low-down snake is attempting to steal my joy or play his mind games – I call on Jesus’ name. I say it over and over and over and over and out loud if possible. It may sound funny, but James 2:19 says even the demons believe and tremble at His name, so I’m just doing some warfare myself and causing some trembling. 🙂 Do make the effort to find another group of ladies through your church, as we do need one another. God supports this (remember Jesus had the 12 disciples, as well as friends Lazarus, etc.) Know this – God is never against you. When you feel under attack spiritually – test the words. Satan condemns, but the Holy Spirit convicts. There is quite a difference in condemnation and conviction. Satan attempts to throw you into a pit. God seeks to pick you up, dust you off, and speak truth to you. Conviction teaches and corrects. On your worst day, when you just want to lay in the floor and bawl and cry, get up and read God’s Word. I PROMISE YOU – you will find encouragement and peace. Let your Faithful Heavenly Father minister to you. He loves you so. One last thing, dear Little Sisters, if your faith is weak and you think “I just need more faith”, then ask Him for it. He will give you the faith to have faith. Once I realized it was not my responsibility to create my own faith, I was free to believe! You are loved. You are prayed for. (Don’t forget, Jesus, Himself, prays for you!) Cool, right! Let’s make some demons tremble and proclaim our Savior – Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! He is our everything and cares about every detail of your life! Jesus Bless you!!! Love, Rhonda, one of your big sisters.

  7. 507
    Dana Nichols says:

    Big Sister here… Give it all to GOD! It’s that simple and that difficult at the same time. You MUST make time in the Word and in prayer a priority every day! God is the only answer. He WILL work out your situation. I’ve lived enough life to have experienced it soooooo many times. Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in EVERYTHING present your requests to God with thanksgiving (my paraphrase of Phillipians 4:6) He is ABLE and WILLING and He never, ever, ever will leave you or forsake you, even when the enemy has surrounded you with so much darkness you can’t see straight!

  8. 508
    Irma Davis says:

    Dear God,
    Please teach my sisters to wait patiently for You. May they believe that You will listen. You will lift them out of their pits of despair and stand them up on a solid rock–making sure they won’t slip. Teach them how to sing the latest Christian songs and to praise You. May others see this and also enter the mystery and abandon themselves to You.
    May they be blessed as they give themselves over to You and ignore the things that the world has to offer.
    Your world is a huge stockpile of wonders and thoughts. Nothing and no one can compare to You. How can we even begin to share with others what we know to be true about You? So, what is it You want from us? You do not want us to be religious or pious. Open our ears and let us hear what You want. It is all about You, God. Doing for You, bringing our all to You.
    May Your Word enter our lives and become a part of our being. May we talk about You and keep nothing back. May we not keep Your news a secret. May we tell others about Your dependability and Your thoroughness. May we tell all about Your love and truth and the rest of the story.
    Please don’t hold out on us God. Don’t hold back Your passion and love and truth for that is what keeps us together. When troubles gang up on us we get so swamped by guilt that we just can’t see our way clear.
    Lighten up on us God, and intervene. Hurry and get us some help. May those who are trying to kidnap our souls be embarrassed and lose face and feel disgraced.
    We are hunting for You God. Let us sing and be happy. May we who know what You are all about tell the world that You are great and not even consider quitting. Make something of us, You can do it, You have what it takes, but God, please don’t put it off.
    In Jesus’ Name,

  9. 509


    I wrote a short post called YOU’LL MAKE IT.

    Please read here:

  10. 510
    Wendy Oliver says:

    “Your big sister here” and I desire to encourage you… direct you… to REALLY REACH FOR GOD! Reach for His word, reach for time to worship Him …. why because the worship music REMINDS US OF GOD AND WHO HE REALLY IS!
    I know God will so honor you seeking ONLY HIM for comfort, direction and His peace! I know you want to talk to a friend, your Mom… but God wants us to turn to Him.
    A great worship song that will guide you in this is:
    Christy Nockels song; EVERLIFTING
    Go to youtube and type in Christy Nockles “Everlifting” with lyrics. God will meet you there, I know it! He has done that for me soooo many a time! Embrace God! Come into HIs presence!

  11. 511
    vera says:

    this little sister is facing moving to a new country after 10 years in the middle east – the challenges to find a church, settle the family, schools etc., etc., is overwhelming at the moment!

    • 511.1
      Susan Stitch says:

      Big Sister here — and I’m praying for you. Just remember that God is already in your new place and he will pave the way. Take one thing at a time and deal only with the things that involve the move itself. Finding new places when you get there will happen when you get there! I pray that God will meet you today right where you are and will make his amazing love visible to you when you need it most.

  12. 512
    Debbie says:

    Big sister here: Praise God… Beth… Praise God….little sisters…the enemy is running rampant all over Gods children. He knows you have the victory in Christ…and wants to pull you away from your protector. But, like Beth says, “Get your tails in the Word.” and “Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies.” NOW…not later or tomorrow… is the time to push in to Jesus even stronger than before. He will break off the enemies clutches over/in your life. I know it seems if the burden of your circumstance is weighing you down and heavily, but I KNOW if you turn your heart and mind over to the one who loves you no matter what; things will begin to turn around for you. Remember this as well God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we think he should answer them. But, if you have trust and earnestly pray his will the tide will turn and I have seen tremendous victory in peoples lives by trusting God. Chains broken, strongholds dissolved, lives healed, and the very countenance of peoples faces change before my eyes…hallelujah…I am praying the love of God and his peace to reign in you and your homes. In his love, SisterMaryBling

  13. 513
    Gina says:

    Little sister here, just barely :). I have been in the valley for the past few weeks over my son. He is almost 21 and was saved at 9. He seems to have left his Christian friends and has moved on to those that do not seem to be living for Jesus. When I try to reach out to him, he is very defensive. I have given it to the Lord but my heart is SO heavy that I just want to cry when I look at him. Such a precious young man with a great heart being led astray. Most of my close sisters in Christ have younger children and I really could use some prayer from the mommas that have been where I am. I know at some point I’ll be able to help someone that is in the same place. God bless!

    • 513.1
      Colette says:

      Dear Gina,
      I feel your pain!! My son will be 21 at the end of the month and I have been handing him back to God everyday! I pray for him and trust that God has his life in His hands!! I am finding that my son just needs to learn some things the hard way! It breaks my heart too but if I worry then I am NOT trusting God with his life! Somedays I don’t even know who my son is but I am counting on the scripture Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
      This is another way the enemy is trying to get to us! Do NOT give him ANY ground!!! We just need to pray that God draws our boys back to Him!! I remember that It is God who gives me strength and makes my way perfect and I will trust that He is also making my son’s way perfect too!!! I will be praying for you and your son too!! Don’t give up Hope!!! Keep the Faith!! 🙂

    • 513.2
      Susan Stitch says:

      Big Sis here and I, too am where you are. My 20 year old is still a prodigal, but God has shown me in many ways that he has her by the nape of the neck. I pray to him regularly to allow her to be caught when she does wrong, and it’s funny — she gets so upset when she gets caught and her friends don’t. I’ve prayed that she would wake up and see the evil places that she was working, and she parroted my exact words to God when she told me she was quiting her job. She still isn’t on the right path, or even close to it, but I know that her name is written on God’s hand. He won’t let go of her and he won’t let go of your son, either.

      Talk to others, because there are many more people than you realize who are dealing with a prodigal. We have to cling to each other and to our children — never let the devil win. Keep praying — God IS in control.


  14. 514
    Joanna Parker says:

    Little sister here:
    I just graduated college with an Elementary Education degree and a passion for my mission field in the classroom. I am 6 hours away from the wonderful MOG (man of God) the Lord has brought me- we both believe the Lord has a plan for marriage ahead for us! I’m now in a season of wide open opportunities for the Lord to literally take me anywhere; a season where this organized, controlling planner is terrified. My boyfriend and I feel the Lord has given us a sort of timeline for what the road to marriage looks like- we’ve been together a year and believe it will be another year before it’s time for a wedding. I feel like I’m supposed to move closer to him.. it feels right there and after only visiting a few times the place and Church family feels like home. I have one week left at my summer job and have no job secured for the fall. I’m looking for a teaching job and have barely gotten any interest from schools. I’m back at home with my parents which is strange but a little comforting.

    That awful Enemy of ours is barking at me- in my mind but also through others. Everywhere I turn, even in my own house at times, I have people asking me if I have a job, when I’m going to move, when we’re going to get married.. and my answer is the same for all questions- I don’t know. I feel pressured to make this happen myself, and at times that is my tendency, but I know that this isn’t my show anyway- IT IS HIS! I am overwhelmed because I am doing all I know to do but the Enemy is telling me it is not enough and I feel the weight of his words on my shoulders. He is telling me over and over that I am not capable of getting a job which is going to keep me from being able to move and get married. I barely have a savings account built up because I’ve had to work my way through school and have barely scraped by which only adds to my discouragement.

    I have only been home for a couple months now and after being in the same Church family at school for three years, I’m struggling to feel like I have a community for accountability, encouragement, and simply living life together. Even though I’m with my godly family, I feel like I’m on my own because I don’t know what is next. I’m begging God to just let me feel Him near so I will have peace while He is unfolding His plan for me but I feel He is being quiet and waiting.

  15. 515
    Donna says:

    I was just thinking about the attacks that have hit me over the years. They have come mostly from family; the very place where we are to find comfort, love, and security. Yet, all of that has been shaken and the enemy loves to do that because he knows that’s the foundation of our lives. The winner in these battles comes when they divide and conquer. We shouldn’t allow it, we should show love to those who have hurt us. We should stand up and tell them that they are family and we’ll act like family showing love and care to each other because the world is slowly being attacked and taken apart by evil forces and we need to ask the Lord to give us wisdom to fight this battle. It’s never been this bad in my lifetime… but if we turn to the Lord it isn’t a battle we have to lose. Stop feel weak and fight for your family, friends and church. THIS IS WAR!!!!

  16. 516
    Misti O. says:

    Little sis here: We moved for a job 4 months ago & Monday my hubby went to work & was told that his position was being eliminated immediately. Leaning on God to be our provider & our Shepherd.

  17. 517
    Diane says:

    Big sister here: get in/stay in the Word. Verses from memory will help & comfort you in those times where you feel like you’re alone but see God at work in everything/one else around you, but the enemy is whispering hurt to your heart/mind. Memorized verses will remind you of many things, but most importantly that God’s grace is sufficient for you in all seasons and times of life, and that God is greater than anything you’re going through -no matter what lies satan tells you or what human feelings within you that he tries to use against you to make his war against you easier to wage.

    While it’s not so much a matter of tritely saying “so what, here we go again” and spouting off scriptures, so much as more of crying out to God, “God, here I am again, remind me of Your love once more!”, and start going through the Scriptures you’ve memorized already that minister to you in that moment or season of spiritual warfare: remember your enemy must flee.

    Remember also, anything satan whispers to you to hurt you/bring you down -you have the right & power to stand strong (even when on your knees!) in the power of God and to be strengthened through His Spirit & Word. God has no equal…no matter what satan tries to convince you of. God’s grace is sufficient for us in everything, there is nothing greater -period.
    Psalm 125:2!

  18. 518
    Nicole says:

    Your Little Sister Here: I am upside-down with guilt and fear over an affair I had that has ripped my life apart. My husband and I are working it out (I told him 6 months ago) but in the moments he seems “ok” I live in constant fear that he is going to leave me, and that God will never be able to use me, and I couldn’t think of forgiving myself. And the moments where he’s “not ok” I just want to die.

    • 518.1
      Susan Stitch says:

      Nicole, Big Sis here. I’m praying for you — Satan is having a field day here and you must stay in the word and listen for God’s love. If possible, see a Christian counselor because these situations are deep and need help!

  19. 519
    Jen says:

    Little sister here: We lost our ministry in a foreign land and my husband struggles with depression as a result. We’ve been separated a few times over the last 4-5 years, but I praise God for His faihfulness in bringing us back together every time hubby has left home. I continue to stand for restoration – of my husband’s relationship with he Lord, of our marriage, and our ministry. I need encouragement in many areas. I need friends who will help me by standing with me, praying for me, who won’t judge my husband for his response to what the enemy has done in our lives. I need friends who will help me in practical ways like helping with the kids, especially when hubby isn’t around.

  20. 520
    Kimberly says:

    Little sister here. My husband and I are trying for our first baby. I have struggled with depression and anxiety in the past. Overall, I’m doing pretty great right now, but for some reason, right around 7pm I get crippled with anxiety. I feel like I’m not up to the challenge of raising a baby. I feel overwhelmed by the anxieties that can come along with a family. I don’t want to be trapped in a cycle of anxiety. I want to conquer my fear! My mantra is, “Billions of people have had babies, and they are just fine.”

    • 520.1
      carrie says:

      I am a little sister also, but I have suffered from depression and anxiety and also bipolar disorder. My husband and I decided last January to try for our first baby. I too was crippled with fear and anxiety and was convinced that someone like me, with all my issues, would not make a good enough mom. I now have a sweet 4 month old little boy. I am not going to lie, it has been hard. I suffered from post pardum depression (sp?). I will tell you it is all worth it. My little baby has changed my life completely. I still struggle with everything and still have a fear about what kind of mom I will be. I just had to let it all go. I know it sounds so easy, but I did it, and you will too. As a believer with my disorders, as soon as they placed my baby on my chest, everything changed. He is a miracle and God would not have given me one of His precious children if He didn’t think I could handle it. So please, do not let your fears and anxiety keep you from trying. I am so glad I did not listen to the devil try to convince me that I wouldn’t be good enough. Because with Him, I am. Being a mom is the best job I have ever had and it has made me want to be a better person and has given me stregnth to fight my depression and bipolar disorder. Just pray pray pray. It sounds cliche, but seriously that is all I did the whole time I was pregnant. I fought to believe that I was good enough and by the time my baby got here, I was ready. Like I said, it will still be hard, but to see my baby’s little face every morning lets me know that it has been worth it. There is no greater gift that to be a mom and you will be a good one considering your worry now. Just pray! I don’t know you, but I will pray for you too. Do not let the devil take away any joy from trying to concieve and being pregnant and giving birth. You will be ok!!

  21. 521
    bfkirk says:

    Big sis here…..BEEN THERE!!!! Do you trust HIM? really trust HIM? If the worst thing you can imagine happens, do you still trust HIM? As I ask myself that question I try to remember: #1. Spend time with Him (as other big sisters have said…in His word, with music, studies, memorize scripture,etc) Hebrews 4:12 – #2.Give up some of your expectations…it can’t and won’t always be perfect….and that’s ok. We forget that not only are we growing and changing, but so is the one next to us ,and the neighbor, and the coworker that says something hurtful. Sometimes they mess up “our” perfect. This world is temporary and SO NOT perfect.Micah 6:8 – #3.Remember it isn’t what someone says to you, it is what God says about you. Remember it isn’t what someone does to you, it’s what God did for you.Psalm 3:3 – #4. Go do fun stuff with your kids (and husband). There are a million reasons not to: meals, laundry, cleaning,etc. but those kids will be grown in a blink. Go on a picnic (in the backyard if you need to), build a blanket fort in the living room, go on play dates, play a board game or basketball or go for a bike ride. Don’t let life pass you by without making tons of great memories. You are the first Jesus they see. Genesis 21:6 – #5. LIVE WITH INTENTION. Make decisions based on fact (God’s word). Live with the goal of Christ as your standard.Choose things/places/actions that honor Him. 1 Corinthians 10:31 – #6. Who do you belong to? You are a princess! A child of the KING! He does have your best in mind. He does love you beyond measure. He does want the best for you.1 John 3:1 – Do you trust Him? really trust Him?

  22. 522
    Texas Girl says:

    Little sister here:
    My baby is about to start kinder. I have stayed home with both of my kids and being a stay-at-home mom is all I have known for the last 8 years. I am sad. I am waiting for a word from God about what to do now. I feel like all my “balls” have been thrown into the air and I am just waiting to see where they land… or how they fall.

    • 522.1
      Stephenie says:

      Texas Girl, I have been where you are. My my son headed to Kindergarten I wasn’t sure what to do. My husband and I were open to the idea of my heading back into the workforce with the understanding that I would need to be home when the kids were home. I volunteered at my children’s school and, thank you Lord, that is where I ended up working. After four years of volunteering and not wavering from our commitment to be home with the kids I was offered a para professional position. I work two hours a day during the school year helping kids with writing. When school’s not in session, I’m not working. When my kids have been ill there is complete understanding that I need to be home with them. Hang in there. Praying that the Lord would be abundantly clear about what the future holds.

  23. 523
    Tammy Bellinger says:

    Big Sister here, I have been reading through the posts, and thinking what else could I possibly say? Everything I read is so important – stay in the Word, not just once in a while, but constantly; pray, lean on Jesus, realize it is His life being lived out through you. And, find a support group – a Sunday School class, a Bible study group, a group of women that meet each week, and commit to being a part of that group. I see people that have come steadily to our church, joined groups, and a few weeks later, they are restless and looking for a new group or new church. Commit, stick to a church and serve the Lord in it and through it.

    Realize that you are God’s daughter, you are who HE says you are, not who this world says you are. I have been divorced for about 12 years now, and at first I too bowed under the shame or stigma of that title, divorced. But, that is not who I am. I am God’s child, His chosen one, the one He sent His Son to die on the cross for and to save. Rest in that identity. He loves you and is there for you.

    He will provide for you. He provided manna for the Israelites for almost 40 years right until the day they didn’t need it anymore. He is the Great Provider. Bring your needs to Him, and let Him meet those needs for you. Pray for the right church, they means to pay your bills, the strength to get through the day. He is there for you!

  24. 524
    Jodie says:

    Big Sister here!!
    Sweet Little Sisters…You are all so not alone & you need to know this!!

    Co-Leading a Ministry of 100 Moms, I can assure you…you are all in good company!

    God is with you as you Seek Him!!
    But don’t forget He gave us “The Body” for Encouragement!!

    Pray for a Big Sister…many Big Sister to come in to your life to breathe His Love & Encouragement back in your Spirits!

    Your ability to be Real & Raw…will Bless them!
    Their time seeing God’s answers to your Life’s Struggles
    will fill you with Hope!!

    You need Hope!! God Gives it thru His Body of Believers!!
    Your Big Sisters are waiting!! Encourage them to hold your hands as God directs you!!

  25. 525
    Sarah Tolson says:

    Little Sister here.. Long story short? We planted a church a little over a year ago, and our very best friends who said they were in it for life, just up and bailed. We knew they were burned out so offered them a place of rest at our church, no ministry work for a while. They declined and won’t even attend. Nothing immoral happened.. It just got too hard for them. We are devastated. 🙁

  26. 526
    Jennifer says:

    Your little sister here needs you. My 10 year old son (whom I will refer to as “B”) is struggling with BiPolar disease and intrusive thoughts/voices. B is scared of EVERYTHING…himself, me etc. The voices have B convinced that he doesn’t deserve to be alive and that he needs to take drastic measures to himself and/or to others to ensure that he has a purpose on this earth. HELP! My knees have carpet burns on them from spending so much time on them begging God to help us and our hearts are breaking. Now I need your help…please pray for B and our entire family. Thank you- more than you know- from your little sister.

    • 526.1
      Rebecca says:

      Jennifer, my heart goes out to your family and your sweet son. My 10 year old was diagnosed with OCD and major depression this winter. At times we have been in complete despair. It is so scary and so LONELY to have a child with mental illness. I will pray for your son and your family. Please know a stranger cares deeply for you. Jesus cares for you, I know that to be true. His Glory in this will be revealed.
      A little sister in MT

  27. 527
    amybhill says:

    your little sister here, who, in this moment, is very thankful to be considered a “little sister”. in “real” life, i am the oldest of three sisters, the mom of two little sisters, and often finding myself in leadership roles amongst my “sisters.” right now, i’m in one of those “persevere” stretches – no great trial – just real life, rubber to the road, every day, groundhog day, wanting and waiting to see His face, praying and asking that His kingdom come, one foot in front of the other, plodding… sometimes i feel alone – although I have some rockstar friends (don’t get me wrong), and i know God has me right where He wants me. eyes on Jesus. runnin’ the race… i always, always appreciate the encouragement of a “big sister” though. always…

  28. 528
    jewelsbb says:

    As Mama Beth, and I’m certain many of you, I too went through a sifting season that left me feeling like flour dust. Literally, Did.Not.Think.I.Was.Going.To.Live.But, thanks be to our loving, in control, sovereign-over-detail Father, I am more humble, free, and better equipped to serve. More needy for Him than my pride would’ve ever let me be. Little Siesta, He knows what He is doing, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, has the final word on EVERYTHING! Nothing in this season is wasted. YES, the Word! Saved my crazy, anxiety-ridden,disorder-loaded, mind! Eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and every snack in between. Eat it like lettuce on your sandwich. Notes in every pocket…still finding them in pockets of pants I haven’t worn in years…in your car, on your bathroom mirror in dry erase marker, under your pillow, on every flat surface available. We are with you on this little Siestas and He is a warrior on your behalf. Psalm 25..get after it! xo

  29. 529
    Donna says:

    Big sister here
    To Marrissa and all .I have also been lonely for friends and are now at a new church and starting to meet some that actually I knew from a long time ago. But at this lonely time just remember that Jesus is always there for you and as your loneliness over takes you read your bible any page anywhere and the comfort comes over you like a blanket of warmth and peace.

  30. 530
    Lisa says:

    Word up Mama Beth and to the little sisters….do not throw away your confidence for it has great reward ! Hebrews 10:25-26 Persevere sisters, the word has the power of God and will give and breathe life into you !!!!

  31. 531
    Brandi says:

    Little sister here in need of some encouragement. I have 4 daughters ages 11, 8, and twin 3 year olds. Satan seems to flood me with guilt over not spending enough time with the big girls and getting so frustrated with the little girls. I love them so much, but just can’t seem to get it together. To add to that challenge, my friendships can’t seem to stay in tact so I feel alone. I am certain God is trying to teach me to be His friend first. I am so on Psalm 25.

    • 531.1
      Another Beth says:

      Big Sister here…
      Brandi, When my oldest was about 11, I realized that God wanted me to make HER my GIRLFRIEND. Of course, BE. THE. MOM. but also do things “like friends.” Take her to that concert your husband doesn’t want to attend, watch Jane Austen movies, ride bikes, coach the 8 year old’s soccer team together. For the next few years, your older girls will WANT to spend time with you…and it can be FUN! And it will pay great dividends in the years after that.

      Your children will NOT take the place of deep “soul sister” relationships…and keep asking Him to bring those women into your life…but God does seem to have provided lots of fun “little girlfriends” right where you are ; )

      And since you have only daughters….LOOK LOOK LOOK for families with boys that your girls can be friends with. They need “boy friends” to hang out with…and this gets harder in the teen years. Our kids CRINGED when we would drag them out to eat with kids they didn’t know. You know the Sunday after church drill: Adults at one table, kids from 4 – 14 at the other ; ) Well, they are best friends with some of those kids today…in college!

  32. 532
    Carmencita says:

    Little Sister here…. I am 37 years old, never been married, and never been in a long term relationship. What is wrong with me? I go through stages, where I am ok with my singleness, but then it just hits and the enemy attacks and I feel like a worthless puddle of nothing. I just moved to a lovely new home, I have a wonderful job, but sometimes I feel like I don’t have people to share it with. I have some wonderful friends, but they are BUSY with life and I don’t always fit in. One of my closest friends just finalized her divorce a month ago, but now she is already dating someone. I realize that this not the smartest move on her behalf, I am jealous that she has already found someone! Why not me?

  33. 533
    Jeanette dahm says:

    Big Sister here, The first verse God ever gave me to memorize was Psalm 46:10 Be Still and Know that I AM GOD. And then later on I did the rest of the verse: I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

    Through the trials and good times of my life God has provided someone to encourage me and walk with me. I have shaken my fist at Him but I have found that His shoulders are strong enough to handle my rantings about life and He does comfort me when I turn to Him. Be encouraged Little Sisters that Our God is good and loving toward His daughters. But the enemy does not want us to rejoice in that security. But security we do have..

  34. 534
    J Lee says:

    Little Sister here….

    The Lord has strengthened me with the courage to request my husband choose his lust or his marriage. He also struggles with narcissism. He’s been in a homeless shelter for 4 months after draining our savings in a hotel… God led me out of my job nearly two years ago to raise my toddler… Last night I wrapped up a post abortion recovery bible study with a memorial service to celebrate my baby. I have not experienced such deep emotion for most of my life… I’m am in a season of waiting, believing and trusting my almighty God. Struggling to see Him and His plan vs. seeing what I think I see with my eyes and taking the ‘reigns back’ to ‘fix’ things myself.

  35. 535
    Gail says:

    Big Sister here!
    My heart is so touched by just the few words I have been able to read. I want to take my time reading them all when I can. What I DO know is that no matter how hard things are in Life, Jesus is the ONLY answer dear little sisters. What a precious Name, who is above all names! When I think of all He did for us, when we accept His Free gift of salvation, that was so costly to Him, just think of the LOVE HE GAVE by dying for us. Sending the Holy Spirit to live IN US, so close to our heart, to go through all we are going through! Trust is hard, but HE WILL GO through all we go through with us! What JOY and peace that gives, to know he is holding us along the way. Praise His name. Just today I came across an article that helped me AGAIN, from the Proverbs 31 site. They quote the verse that I love in down times and good. Isaiah 49:16a See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands! I pray to Jesus that when I go through my lowest days, I will remember not to give way to satan, for I do not want him to win. I want the Love my Jesus gave for me on the Cross to Win, and I don’t want to let my Best Friend down. I love you each one, I care. All of us have been through hard times, maybe different, but hard just the same. May you bless the Lord and He will lift you up! I know it is true. God bless you with His peace and trust! ♥

  36. 536
    Julie Anne says:

    little sister here:
    really struggling during a family vacation with differences of opinion with my sister in law on the way we raise our kids. I’ve felt nothing but criticism this week and it has left me raw and weary. Need to be filled with love and grace and wisdom on if and when to speak the truth in love…

  37. 537
    Tanya says:

    It’s Saturday, and I just read this post. I hope it’s not too late to respond as a little sister. (As an aside, I thought the age cutoff funny as I “cross the line” in 4 months, something my husband has been pointing out to me this year, good naturedly, of course.)

    As I got to the part of having one more thing happen just at the point you felt recovery was beginning, I thought, YES! That’s this season!

    We moved in mid March, finally making our dream of living out in the country with some land (5 acres) come true. Let me say that this whole move was surrounded by prayer, and we saw Him act in ways to guide us. 4 months later, we still have two houses, and it’s wearing me down. We had to cancel our vacation to our annual family reunion as a result.

    On top of that, my husband and I are struggling with issues regarding our church home. We have noticed our family’s vision slowly growing away from the vision of our church leadership. Both are biblical, don’t get me wrong.

    Our church is a wonderful seeker church and we have grown tremendously in the time we’ve been there. However, we are feeling the “stress” in the difference of where God is leading our family and where the church is going. I (and my husband) have been grieving greatly in my spirit for the last 3 weeks and it’s very draining.

    I have been seeing God taking my clenched fists and gently pulling my fingers away, one at a time saying, “That is a want, not a need.” I know what He’s doing is good, and I, my husband and our children, will come out of this season stronger. But I’m tired. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. (Financially too.)

    It is only by God’s grace and His Word that I have not been the “nagging wife” spoken of in Proverbs. I will leave off with one glimmer of hope that I’ve recognized and praised the Lord for through this all. My husband has been opening up more and actually starting discussions regarding spiritual matters (blessings, warfare, prophecy, etc.), which I’ve been loving! Often when I delve too deep into those matters, he gives me the look that says, Can I just have a “normal” conversation with you? : )

  38. 538
    The Apple of His Eye says:

    Big Sis here: Read Ann Voskamp’s “One Thousand Gifts” It helps you see God everywhere, in everything, even the “ugly beautiful.” Looking for Him, seeing Him, acknowledging that “EVERY good thing given and EVERY perfect gift is from above,” from God….it is changing my life, my heart, my perspective, finally believing in my heart, not just my head, that God really, truly does love me and when I thank Him, even in the “ugly” moments, He can make them “beautiful.” Every breeze, every flower, every neon sock, whatever little or big thing that brightens my heart, catches my eye…it’s from Him. His gift to me, because He loves me. And did you realize that before He fed thousands from the 2 fish/5 loaves, before He raised Lazarus from the dead – Jesus gave thanks. Always the eucharisteo before the miracle. You want a miracle in your life….give thanks, for the good, the bad, the ugly. As Chip Ingram says about the wisdom of God: “if there were a better way to do it, then I would be experiencing those other circumstances instead of these. If there were a kinder, faster, more expedient, or gentler way, God would be using it.” So thank Him, in everything, for everything.

  39. 539
    a.m.b. says:

    Your little sister here:

    Here’s the bottom line: My marriage feels toxic and so hate-filled and scary and just…full of poison. In fact, 6 weeks ago I took my two little boys (ages 3.5 and 17 months) and moved in with my parents. My husband and I have talked and talked and we do want to be together and do want to be a family. We do love each other. But we are both just so terrified that we have so many issues, both as individuals and as a couple, that we are too far gone. I am moving back in with him soon…very soon…because we are afraid we will start to prefer being apart. But, dear sisters, I am just SO TERRIFIED of trying again. Because if things aren’t better or if they get worse…what then? There is so much fear surrounding all of this. I am just so scared. Our marriage has been attacked from within from our own sins and mistakes and from without from the enemy. We are both afraid that there is no coming back.

    There’s other stuff but that’s the main thing. Please pray for grace for both of us to change…I feel so crazy sometimes. I act crazy. I don’t blame him for being fed up with me.

    2011-2012 has been rough…postpartum depression so deep I thought I was dying combined with a marriage on the brink. All I can do is try to make it through each day.

    Please pray for me. For my husband. For my boys. For all of us. And pray that I would learn what the Lord is trying to teach me through all this sifting.

  40. 540
    Amy says:

    little sister here: I am overwhelmed with everything right now. I have a 4 year old and a 5 month old, a husband that is trying to be supportive. I love them all. But I am angry – all the time, about everything. I am praying for the source, so I can deal with it, but either I am clueless, the devil is blocking it or I am deaf to what God is trying to teach me.

    • 540.1
      Another Beth says:

      Big Sister here…
      Amy, while I am no counselor who can help with truly sorting out your frustrations, I can offer some practical help in your busy season of two small children ; )

      Look hard for things that will bring peace and lifted spirits into your life and your home. Find fun, Christian music and shows for your kids to watch. Sing praise and happy music whenever you can. Get in a Bible Study and/or read good Christian fiction. Are you reading/watching stuff that is very heavy or dramatic? This might not be the season for that.

      Is your stuff/house driving you crazy? Then quit shopping and clean/organize/enjoy what you have. Teach that 4 year old to work – they will reap the benefits their whole life! (Our teens comment how some kids are “so lazy AND unable to DO ANYTHING”).

      Find a babysitter/preschool/friend so you have some time alone and with hubby. Sign your 4 year old up for a fun community sport (AYSO soccer, UPWARD basketball, etc.) and sit on the sidelines and smile. Better yet…get hubby to coach and then HE WILL DRIVE TO PRACTICE.

      You’ll find your path!

  41. 541
    rev Candis L. Oswalt says:

    Big sister here – to all little sisters I did not respond yesterday as no internet but I think that all of you need to know that no matter what place you are at in your life and what circumstance(s) you are going through one or more of your Big sisters have been there and even now God is laying you on their hearts to tarry in prayer over. Scripture states There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1 Cor 10:13 (KJV)This means there is not battle affliction state of being that someone else has not also gone through and more importantly that GOD is aware of it and knew about it before it happened and has already prepared your way out/through it and knowing that HE has gives us the hope and gusto to persevere through whatever it is. Lastly I agree with what so many have said. GET IN THE WORD.

  42. 542
    Lurlene says:

    Your Big sister here, This is a powerful scripture if you will allow it to speak to you. My words are just that, but God’s Word speaks to us in our deepest need. When you are overwhelmed by the onslought of the enemy. Small “e” by the way,Acts 27:20-25
    When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days, and no small tempest lay on us, all hope of our being saved was at last abandoned. Since they had been without food for a long time, Paul stood up among them and said, “Men, you should have listened to me and not have set sail from Crete and incurred this injury and loss. Yet now I urge you to take heart, for there will be no loss of life among you, but only of the ship. For this very night there stood before me an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I worship, and he said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul; you must stand before Caesar. And behold, God has granted you all those who sail with you.’ So take heart, men, for I have faith in God that it will be exactly as I have been told.

    I just thought the part about Paul saying “Take Heart there will be no loss of life, the ship yes. Then goes on to say and Angel of God to whom I belong. SO the key to overcoming,knowing who you belong to, is saying “Do not be afraid”! I challenge you to grab hold of this passage and read it over and over there are so many anaolgies here to life. It may destroy the outward but it cannot take your life. Praise God! I am sharing what God have me just this morning personally.

  43. 543
    Jeanette says:

    Your little sister here…

    SO overjoyed that I can be a “little” here. So glad for our spiritual Mama for demanding that I get in the word! I need to hear that daily as other things scoot ahead of that priority.

    I’m having trouble, no, PAIN and sorrow while trying to discern God’s will for every action, word, touch, conversation, and thought that happens between my husband of 10 years and myself. I am overwhelmed daily with our circumstances. I know that we are blessed beyond measure with earthly things. I know God’s will is for me to be a light, and that the ONLY outcome He desires is our eternal oneness with Him. Beth shared the prayer, “God help me see my man as a GREAT man!” and I’m boldly asking Him to use whatever circumstances in our lives to show my man that God is the source of fulfillment, peace, joy, contentment, and eternal life. I pray that He can yoke himself to God to begin to lead our family. Praying that I can have clear boundaries while providing a mirror of that unconditional love that Christ shows me. I can dream many scenarios where life-change occurs, but I pray for strength in Him if things stay the same. That I may continue to have faith and trust for HIS will.

    Praying for my two littles. Two precious girls who are watching this all unfold. May they see the light as well!!!

    Running to Him in Psalms now…

  44. 544
    brandie says:

    big sister here….(barely, as i’m just over 40 😉 the last few years have been fraught with pain via the demise of my marriage. oh, have i lived what Beth described here! every word she writes is true. my “advice”:

    1) just ask God.
    ask Him what you should do – in every situation. should you spank or not? apply for the job or not? speak or be quiet? spend or not spend? set a boundary or not?
    ask Him why your heart hurts, why this relationship is difficult, why this or that makes you mad, why you are the way you are.

    2)then listen and trust His answer.
    sometimes the answers are hard to hear…like what Beth describes in her post. sometimes we NEED the sifting, though it hurts like crazy. sometimes we’re wrong. sometimes we’ve believed deception. sometimes we want to remain a child when we need to grow up and become a woman.

    3) believe that He only works in you for your good and His glory.
    His heart toward you is love and He is tender when He meets you in the place of sifting. He gives you great dignity in that place of being inside out with worry, fear, pain, grief, anger, shame. there is no condemnation from Him. so believe Him in the pain.

    these are the truths that He has shown me over the past couple of years. all of the “right” and “church-y” answers that i knew went out the window when my heart was so wracked by pain that i could hardly breathe. but He was there in that place!! i HATE the circumstances i’ve had in my life….but they are also very precious to me because they are where the hurt and the Healer collided for me. He has been so very real, so very present, so very Good to me in those places.

    bless you, dear ones.

  45. 545
    Nancy Hawthorne says:

    Big Sister Here…Please Little Sister LISTEN to Beth when she tells us to get into God’s Word! God’s Word IS a LIGHT to our path!!! SEEK HIM FIRST! He is our ALL in ALL! He KNOWS the plans He has for you…go to your Refuge from the Storm and pour out your heart and REST in His arms. Be still and know the He IS God! LISTEN for His counsel, take Him at His Word. Finally, Be Strong in the Lord and put on the Full Armour of God daily!!! Be joyful in Hope, Patient in Affliction, and Faithful in Prayer. My prayer is that your eyes will ever be on the Lord for only He will deliver you from the snare of the enemy. May He grow you in His grace and the knowledge of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ!

  46. 546
    Michayila says:

    Being convinced that all the Lord has done in me may not be true after all if all I discover is another pit I can’t for the life of me climb out of

  47. 547
    Michayila says:

    Definitely little sister here

  48. 548
    aussie monica says:

    Little sister here!
    Thankyou for all the encouragement big sisters!

  49. 549
    Sarah says:

    Little Sister Here…Beth, thank you. This was so perfectly timed for the cry of my heart.
    We became foster parents 9 months ago, and the past 9 months have been the most difficult of our lives. The enemy has not let up on us for a moment. We have dealt with more sickness & injury in our family than in all 14 years of our marriage combined, including hospitalizations, 2 operations, kidney failure, and salmonella poisoning; numerous things in our home have broken (microwave, computer, grill, tires, etc). We have missed months at a time of church due to sick kids. We are broke after paying for medical bills & replacing things, and we are still being attacked! We know the Word, we have applied the Word, & at this point we are dreadfully weary, wondering where we opened a door to the enemy and how on earth we can shut it. We feel like quitting but have not given in to that, knowing that is Satan’s desire. Please pray.

  50. 550
    Kathi Nitzsche says:

    Big sister here: “one of the most powerful motivations for believing God in our present is INTENTIONALLY remembering how He’s worked in the past.” I’ve written this quote down with several others that have been encouraging to me. Little sisters, if you’re too overwhelmed this moment to remember how God has been faithful in your own life look at the lives of those He has placed in your path. Look also to God’s Word where His incredible faithfulness is woven throughout the entire 66 books! And as difficult as it may be, thank and praise Him often, even when it’s the last thing you feel like doing. If possible start a list of all the tiny, insignificant ways He has blessed you.

    “Because of THE LORD’S GREAT LOVE, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!” Lam. 3:22-23

    “…Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.” I Jn. 4:14

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