I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:
“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”
Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.
Have I been there, my beloved little sister?
Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And part of me survived. And part of me died.
And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.
And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.
I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.
YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.
I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”
Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us: encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.
Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:
If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”
If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”
Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)
Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.
Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.
Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.
One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.
Psalm 25.
I mean it.
I’m going to be asking you about it.
OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.
Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.
I love you.
Hi, little sister here-
I’ll keep it short! Please pray for me.
I have a brand new baby girl (7 weeks, but born 3 early) who is not gaining much weight. I am very concerned about her. She hasn’t been sleeping much at night so I am dizzy with exhaustion.
I am feeling very discouraged and feel like the enemy is attacking my self worth and trying to isolate me.
Thank you so much, I have gotten so much encouragment from this blog! God has used it many times to speak a much needed word to me. Beth- if you are reading this- you are my HERO. I come from a tough background too and I would not be where I am today with God w/o your witness and testimony (I have almost all your books and devoured them all!). I want to be just like you when I ‘grow up’. -Sierra
Hey lil sis,
My first son had what was called failure to thrive at 12 weeks and did not gain well. I was nursing him every hour and a half for 45 minutes. Yeah, pretty much all the time. He was a poor nurser (which I found out when my second son was a great nurser) I felt like such a failure, my sister told me something was probably wrong with my milk, and I died inside. We started supplementing with formula and he began to gain, but has always been small (someone has to be on the low end of the weight chart!) He is almost 18 now, still small in stature, but healthy and well.
Trust your gut. Listen to those who you trust for good advice and reject the others. God gave this baby to you, and you know what’s best. I am praying for you.
Laurie
Sierra, Your big sister here! You are NOT alone !!!!!!!!
Big sister here:
Sierra, Please know that you will be in my prayers today. I speak from experience after giving birth twice to premature low birth weight babies – both boys and therefore at even higher risk than girls. These days are tough but see them through. Focus on that sweet baby — that is all that counts and the rest will wait for later. Accept any offers of help – they are golden and be gentle with both yourself and your husband. My “smaller” baby boy just left for a job in NYC — happy, healthy and so very grown up and able. May God give you strength and grace to see these days through. I know you and your family are so worth it. Gretchen
Listen little sister….don’t be afraid to ask another woman for help….PLEASE ask another woman for help. When your baby girl is 5 years old and you look back, you are going to say why didn’t I ask for help when I was pulling my hair out and you will also say that you would be SOOO happy to help someone else in the same situation. Reach out….the first woman you see and say I need some help. A mama will get it immediately and help you. Just do it.
Big Sister here- I am late to posting. Our family has been targeting by the enemy for 10 years straight. We have experienced multiple car accidents, fires, severe brain injury, and more trauma than I can list on these pages. However, what Satan meant for evil God means for good. And Sisters, He is so faithful. He has deepened our faith, and I know I will never be the same. Many times, when i felt I had no faith left, I would stand up and say outloud, “I will trust you God” in obedience and He would fill my heart again. Say it outloud,Sisters, and he will give you the faith you need.
Big sister here…On this day when everything seems upside down and piles crowd around you….At this time of life “Long Days, Short Years”*….when you wonder when the crying will ever stop and the piles will ever diminish…and the cleaning will ever be done…
God is SO with you! He has not forgotten you…in fact He has a special place in His heart for you…something from His Word that helped me; “He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arm and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young….” Isaiah 40:11
He not only has resources for you…He gently leads you…GENTLY…He is not harsh or angry or disappointed with you….He understands what it is like to care for little lambs…because that is how He cares for you…Remember He is gentle….and loves you tenderly…in the midst of the crazy days…
I pray for each of you today…that our dear Shepherd will reveal His tender love toward YOU today…that somewhere in the midst of the busyness…You would take a moment to catch a glimpse of the loving thoughts He is sending your way….<3
Oh Carla,
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.
I have so felt His grace in this Season of life, more than once. And the Gently leading… So glad He is a Gentle Father.
Thank You.
Yes, thank you Carla. This little sister is crying tears of healing and gratitude reading those words. I do not have any little ones, but feel the pressure of shepherding teens and college age women. So glad I’m not alone.
Thank you Carla!
Here i am, a little sister, though on the line at 38 soon to be 39. God has done a TON of work in me. The enemy is still whispering through weakened frames and newly fortified holes; I know I am weak, and He wants to be strong through those weak places.
I fight the message that I am a failure.
I am one of those “good girls” who has been passionate for Jesus since 3. He has been my delight for years and years. I have a few degrees under my belt.. and have a “lot to offer”… as some would say, but some of that comes from wallowing in pits of insignificance, purposeless, and a lack of identity… fighting tooth and nail to rise above!
And I am single, I long for true companionship, a life-long partner to walk in purpose and passion for the Kingdom, a sweet friendship with the promise of deeper intimacy along the way. God has given me good friends along the way. I have failed (or been rescued?) from several potential relationships but after a number of these… I am seriously wondering if I am truly the “runaway Bride”…. though i have never been engaged, but close to it…
So, i also have no biological children. i am passionate about families, and growing one for the King’s glory…. i have not my own.
I know marriage is often over-fantasized to be the end all of purpose in life for a single woman… I know it is not the truth. I know marriage CAN be hard; I am truly thankful for my single state many many times. I know loneliness plagues everyone, and I know I am not alone.
I just wonder…. and hope, and pray… and continue to press forward and upward with my Lord, trusting… sometimes crying, that He will fulfill, He will (and does) satisfy…. every need of my heart.
Then there… is work, what is my next step. I am so free in some sense; I don’t really know what my next step is…. i am hopeful, anticipating what is next… and scared too.
So that is it, often satisfied, yet hopeful single, anticipating yet scared … what’s next Lord? is my prayer….
Dearest Tammie – big sis here….. oh I have been where you are and right at the same age and I must say – stay focused on Jesus and delight in every moment of your “singleness” (not sure if that’s a word)… I got a little ahead of myself where you are and I married – missed a few RED flags and boy did I pay….. my life where your are right now is only but a distant memory and my regret for not placing each “flag” under God’s word is huge and is my current season of death although I know that GOD is with me. So please hold tight to where you are for it is far better to be alone (yet with the lord) by yourself than to be alone with someone. Jesus makes a splendid husband as he has so proved to me in these last trying 9 years of sheer terror by a man that deceived in order to conguer my hand in marriage. So big smile, hug your husband (Jesus) and know that you need to stay vigilant now more than ever and do not ignore any red flags put them all to God’s test no matter how much you want to share your life with someone on earth as that desire can blind side us at time and I am such a poster child for same. I am going to pray for you right now….be encouraged and embrace this season as I would give my eye teeth to be right where you are at again instead of fighting for my life in the midst of my jumping ahead of God in that brief little stint…… stay strong and enjoy and rest in HIM. Much love……
Thank You Becki, I am sorry you are in a tough spot. Would love to hear more of your story. I see many unhappy marriages which make me very very glad to be single. The red flags are hard to see at times… and God has rescued and delivered me not a few times. Most recently I had a guy who I was very thrilled with but something wasn’t settling in me… i fought for it… but in the end, I surrendered. Unspeakable peace has sustained me even as I mourn to dissappointment: amazing how we can know peace even in tears. God is so very good to me, and uses all these debacles to refine me….. muchly. Thank You for sharing. I pray your bliss is redeemed…… 100 fold!
Big sister here. Sweet Tammie, hold strong that God will give you the desires of your heart, in His perfect timing. I was married very young and had 2 children when my spouse left me. I was not a believer at that time. A friend showed me the way and boy was I able to grow and flourish in HIM! To me however, 1 thing was missing, that one special person for me. So after some time I became very active in church, God was using me in a way that I could NEVER have imagined. As I prayed for a partner, God through a Sunday School teacher shared that we do not have because we do not ask or we ask with wrong motives. So I began to question my motives. God revealed that He was not finished with me. Then suddenly about 3 years later, I was doing a morning devotion and there as big as can be I read, you do not ask, BELIEVING in Jesus name! WOW! It was true, I asked and asked but in my heart I do not think that I believed in Jesus name that it would happen. So little sister I began praying believing that God would give me the desires of my heart, and within a short time was blessed with my gift from God, my husband. Stay strong, stay in the word and do NOT let go of HIS promise!
Thank You so much KathI, 🙂
thank you for these words. I am 40 and single and long to be married. Just got active in the church I joined but haven’t been believing. thanks for speaking girlie!
Hi Tammie,
Big sister here. Wow! Reading your post felt like my story just a few years ago. Our beautiful Jesus really is the knight on the steed who has come to rescue us. Run into His arm.
Oh girlie, the degrees and pretige and all those things can distract us from His glory if we’re not careful (been there). Allow Him to be your everything… you are a beautiful treasure and you belong to Him. Cling to Him every second.
The verse He used in my life during that time was Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Okay, really we’re still working on the first two words, but it’s progress 🙂
Know this: He loves you. You, just exactly the way you are. Find rest in His love and, the other answers will come. Love you in Him!
Thank You So much Julie! 🙂
Tammie, big sister here….the only thing I want to speak into your post is regarding children. I have been married a long time but because of illness, I was never able to have children of my own. God also closed the door to adoption. It was not his plan for my life. While that season was so hard and while I will always have that unmet desire, I know I am of value to God and that part of my life has been for women like you. If I can speak any truth into your life it is this: you ARE ABSOLUTELY VALUABLE to God, whether you have children or not. There are many ways you can “parent” the children in your life and the possibility of spiritual children is endless! Please know you can email me for further encouragement in this area if you want to…[email protected]!!
Little Sister Here,
Just when my heart was healing from deep grief over our pre-adoptive sibling group of 3 having to move, I found out inadvertantly that their following adoptive placement fell through too. They have been separated(honestly a good move) and are in foster care. The wreckage in our hearts left my husband unable to imagine ever trying adoption again but oh how my heart wants to go there. I feel deep within that we could provide the home needed for part of this sibling group but I’m trusting God to lead.
There is such deep hurt in adoption disappointments. We, too, have been there. There were days, months, even years when we could not understand how and if God would fulfill this longing in our family – but He did. Continually present the desire of your heart to Him (Psalm 37:4) and trust Him to fulfill it. Listen for the Spirit’s leading to move, or to wait. Be courageous and strong – don’t give up unless you are certain God is leading you to do so, or you may miss one of the most beautiful blessings He has in store (I often think of Christ’s parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18.) Remember that He who made you knows your hopes and dreams and He alone will bring them to pass! God bless and strengthen you in a special way today.
Big sister here…Rachelle, I am adding your name to my prayer journal to pray for your heart and to pray for your husband’s hurt. We spent years trying to adopt (finalized an adoption this past May) and so I understand the ache and emotions with failed attempts. My husband and I were also on different pages at one time. I am asking God to bring your hearts together, to beautifully build your family, and to encourage you as you focus on what He can do in the midst of the often painful circumstances of adoption pursuit. Also, please let me know if I can assist in any way with passing along adoption information that I accumulated through the years.
Little Sister Here…
I just completed a HUGE feat! I completed my Double Masters while giving birth to THREE children (throughout 5 years)! All my babies are 4 and under. Yes, I am oh so blessed! Its been about 4 weeks since I completed. I should be jumping up and down, right?
Instead, I feel depressed. For a week, I have felt useless.
I think its just several things together. Body image, snapping at my kids and feeling the guilt of it, we’re moving out of state (away from home for me) in a few weeks, and our future, my future, is so unknown, and trying to discover who I am, besides a Stay at Home Mom.
So after hitting the dumps and my husband really smelling the funk (he gets worried easily), I’ve decided to do something for myself.
Today, my day began at 6:30am with a trip to the gym before the hubby leaves for the day. I feel GOOD!
I need to do things for ME! And I need lots more of Jesus!
Big Sis here: I started the day crying out to the Lord and he answered with a word from a devotional. This dear woman encouraged me to pray for “the mind of Christ.”
“Give me the mind of Christ” is an appropriate prayer to pray when we recognize we’re having an unloving attitude or we lack wisdom. By faith we welcome His thoughts, emotions, and affections as though they are our own. Because we have access to the mind of Christ, we don’t need to respond out of our human weakness.
Jesus, help me to remember to include You in my thoughts before I respond in ineffective ways or ways I would regret.” ~ Aletha Hinthorn
“We have the mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16).
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8).
Please understand Lil sis’s sometimes the most unloving thoughts we have is towards ourselves. Remember, the God of the Universe chose you, loves you and died for you, He has a plan for you and most of all he says you are good and you are HIS friend!
Fight on!!
God has been leading me to be in a deeper relationship with him. What I struggle with is being faithful to Him and putting Him first with young children at home, husband, renovations, housekeeping, being a Godly wife/mother. How in the world to balance everything and get it all done?!? I’ve been praying about where God wants me in His big picture…my purpose in this world…For us to become a couple who together puts God first, united before God…For our struggling church and if God wants us to continue attending there…For us to have patience with our children through constant “whys” and “mommy!!!” I’ve longed to hear it for so many years and now I hear it more than I can sometimes stand (guilt). Prayer for 2 remaining embryos from embryo adoption and in whose home they should be born. Off to read Psalm 25! Thanks Beth!
Big Sister here:
1. Some times we get so focused on our goals, we forget to enjoy the journey.
2. Society measures our worth based on our degrees, job status, etc… God measures our heart, our character, our faith, our grace, etc…
3. Ecclesiastes 3:1
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens”
Take time to enjoy where you are…especially time with your children/family. I find when I’m most discontent it’s because I am not following that advice or measuring my worth based on what the world thinks.
Lil’ Sister Here,
Recently my husband and I have been layed off of work. We have 3 kids that we are trying to raise. We have lost our home before to the hurricanes & I am scared we will lose everything again. We used to be deep in church and extremely involved! Now my husband doesn’t want to go to church ;he blames God for what we have been through! He says Jesus & God are up there laughing at us. I miss my walk with God and try hard to get back on the path, but I’ve yet to accomplish it. It feels like we take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. I’m going to learn Psalm 25!
Little Sis here….I have been living with Endometriosis and Pelvic Congestion Syndrome(various veins in the pelvis). I have 3 children under the age of 11 and I feel like the worst mother. My pain causes me to not be able to clean house as I would like or play with kids. there are times, my 9 yr daughter cooks dinner. I often am irrational and iratable with them. This pain has taken over my life. I am also a military wife and we have life in Japan on sea duty since 2007. While over here, I have been home only twice for two months. My grandma died 6hrs before I had to return to Japan in 2010. I was very close to her and was not able to attend the funeral. My husband spends every summer 6 to 7 months deployed.
I am so depressed and homesick it’s unreal. My mom is sick and often depressed over the loss of her mom too. We are expected to move in the spring but the right place just hasn’t come up yet.
This disease has caused strain on my relationship with my husband in the bedroom as its very painful to have intercourse. I am due to have a full hysterectomy in 2weeks at 37 and I just pray I get relief. I need some relief because my spirit is dead after dealing with this for 5 1/2 yrs.
I am praying for you. I cannot imagine all those things at the same time. God is with you. He loves you, your children and your husband, He see’s what it happening and is allowing it for his purpose even if that purpose is not clear. Your daughter is learning to care for others. That’s a good thing. Be real before God. He can handle your pain, fear and even your anger!
Laurie
I am also a little sister, nearly 37 too, but have been through severe endometriosis. It left me infertile, but I thankfully did not have the pain associated with it. On the other side of that, it allowed it to get very bad and I did not know anything was wrong. I am so sorry you are in so much pain. The hysterectomy should take care of the endometriosis and the pain. You are very blessed to have 3 children. Most people can’t conceive with it. Is there any way you can get home? Perhaps you could have your surgery near your mom and she help you recuperate? Or maybe your mom come to visit you there and help you recover? It sounds like the two of you need to be together for a time for respite and to heal after your Grandmother’s death. I know it is a huge help when my mom comes to visit. I will be praying for you. Lean on God, He is your strength in time of need. He carries us through difficult times, just ask and trust Him. He is in control and loves you so very dearly. Pray Pray Pray.
Jodi, i had endometriosis and a hysterectomy at aobut 40. It took awhile to recover, but the pain is gone and I am back. You can do it! Lean on God, trust Him. He will bring you through these tough times. Remember to cast your cares on Him for He cares for you. Let others care for you for awhile and you will soon be back to yourself.
Big Sis here that has been there!!!!! Living with constant pain is so draining and can lead to major depression even without a recent loss. Please know that your kids will not remember if your housecleaning was perfect, or that they had to help the family by cooking an occasional meal. I know what is like to feel dead inside: apathetic was how I described it to my doctor – I just felt nothing about anything. I highly recommend you see a doctor about that. Surgery and the long recovery can also take a toll, so you may want to see your doctor ahead of that. There are depression medications that can also help treat pain. The hysterectomy was a life-changer for me and I pray that it will be so for you as well. I pray to our Father that you may have peace in your daily life. Remember that it is difficult to take care of others when you are not at your best. Telling the children the big picture story of your health situation would be helpful as well. It is amazing how understanding children can be. May God bless you!
Big Sister here… Jennifer, I am in prayer for you that the total hysyerectomy will do for you what it did for me at age 34 way back in 1991! It was not overnight nor without a few bumps in the road (getting hormone levels right, etc)but it has been so worth it in the long run! Pain can cause depression so BEWARE! Turn to the Lord even when you do NOT feel worthy or able!! Let your kids buy into helping you with everything possible. They will rise up to the challenge if you help them understand that the surgery takes recovery time, that you need help, and that it will make familylife better in months to come. You will need some help after surgery, if hubby is not available, ASK a few friends. Prepare ahead also, put easy casseroles or meals in freezer NOW. Teach kids how to help with laundry, vac or sweep, lift things fir you. YOU WILL make it Lil Sis!! Praying for you!!
I am also a little sister, however I am a survivor of endometriosis. I honestly understand the pain and strain you are feeling. The ONLY way I survived is PRAYING for God’s will be done. My husband and I talked many times about how many children we wanted and if we would be ok if I got a complete hysterectomy. The dr tried various treatments to no avail. WE decided to go ahead with the hyterectomy. It truely has been the best decision for me. I hope this gives you insight to the “other side”. Prayers!!!
i had 9 surgeries for endometriosis and then started hemmorging and had emergency hysterectomy at age 31. I have to say it was the most emotional decision I made (wasn’t married/no kids) but the BEST decision for my health. I feel so much better after and haven’t regreted it. Be kind to yourself during recovery. Praying for you that this will bring so much relief! I say have a party with the kids that mom is back when you are back on your feet!
Big Sis here. I also have been there. Had hysterectomy at age 38 just a year after losing my mom. Husband also in military and lived away from family. If not possible to be near family during this difficult time know that God is faithful to meet and care for your every need. Sometimes at our darkest hour we feel God closer than ever. Make sure doctors explain to your husband what you are going through and possible side effects that result from your health issues and surgery. I will be praying for you and your whole family.
Little sis here…(barely, I’m 38!) I have been through a transitional year. We’ve moved twice and had some hopes and dreams dashed. Looking on the bright side and being flexible,though. I’m a wife and mother of 3 girls. I love them so much and just want to be the best example to them that I can. (Maybe I’m wanting to be perfect.) I feel like I’m in a spiritual slump and don’t know how to get out of it. Marriage can be very hard and being a homeschooling mom gets exhausting as well. I feel like I’m “striving” and not just being still and knowing He is God. I could use encouragement for sure.
Big Sis here. I’ve been a homeschool mom also and know it takes a lot of work. Remember to follow God’s plan for your family and don’t compare yourself to others.Back off some and stop striving and rest in the Lord. Ask him to show you what and how things need to be done for your family. Rest in the Lord. Marriage can be difficult a times. Will be praying for you that God lessen your load and blesses your marriage.
Older sister here, God does indeed bring beauty from ashes. He is FAITHFUL! My husband just baptized a granddaughter we are raising. Beautiful, sweet, precious moment and reminder of God’s compassion and mercy and grace never failing!!!
Little sister here-
I’ll keep it short, my husband and I have been trying to have a baby now for almost a year… although I am only 21 and I am crippled by the fear of maybe not being able to carry a child. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and they believe that I will need fertility treatment. But I cannot promise fertility treatments working. I feel like this is the punishment some how. How I need encouragement from another woman who understand. Thank you so much big sisters for the encouragement.
Nicole, You are not being punished in any way! I too have struggled with fertility issues since getting married three years ago. I am 38 years old now and have a bit of perspective on it. Today I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. I had given up hope of that ever happening. Of course we don’t know what the future holds for any of us, but I believe that our God is a good God. He sees and knows the desires of our hearts. In fact, He put those desires in our hearts! You are still so young and when we are young many things feel so urgent and impossible. But believe me, you have plenty of time. When it comes to having a child, I believe the best thing is to put it into God’s hands and let Him bring it in due course. Often people who struggled with fertility issues say, and I agree, that it is when they stop worrying that they fall pregnant. Enjoy the time with your husband. Focus on him and your relationship together. Grow closer together. This is the foundation to a family. Do the things you enjoy and have dreamt of doing. After you have children, these things will have to wait for a bit. And you are not alone. There are many, many women who understand. Your time will come! God bless.
Nicole, I am also a little sister, but experienced infertility for 6 years. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to others and not holding it inside. I was in dark depression for a long time and greatly feared I would never be able to be pregnant and have children. I will tell you that fear is not of God, it is of Satan. I thought I knew what was best…what God’s best was. What more could He have for me than to be pregnant and have a baby? My timing was not God’s. I was not leaning on Him and needed to learn that God sees the big picture. He had children for us and I needed to learn to wait on Him and trust Him completely. It is not by my strength, but God’s. I can’t do this on my own. Until I relinquished ME and MY plan, God couldn’t begin to do a work in my life. Since then, God led us to embryo adoption and we adopted 3 embryos and I was still able to be pregnant. It’s an incredible story! I have triplets! They are a huge blessing to us. Even if you never conceive on your own, there are options out there to still be a mother. Be patient. Pray continually and give your fear to God when it creeps in. Replace it with Scripture and prayer. Praise God for the work He will do in HIS timing in your life. God will give you the desires of your heart because your heart will line up with His desires. It will then be a beautiful thing.
Jodi-
Thank you for responding, hearing those words from someone who has been through what I am going through was exactly what I needed. It is a comfort to hear another women understands my fears and doubts without judgement. Your sweet words of encouragement have brought me to tears. What a beautiful story of how your triplets came into your life.Praise God! It is so true, I am holding on to my plan and how I felt it should play out, but God has some other plan in store for me. I can’t tell you thank you enough! 🙂
Praying for you! Also a little sister. My husband and I have also been humbled through infertility. The wait and fears are overwhelming some days, but have found that scripture memory is sooooo healing!!! Immerse yourself in the truth of scripture, place it in your heart. Those moments when your fears seem like they’re going to drown you, start to speak the truth you have put in your heart. God made you with His good in mind and He knows your days. Submit to this and watch Him work.
Dear friend, I will pray for you and your husband. My husband and I also experienced the pain of infertility. It was a long journey for us, endometriosis, 4 surgeries, invitros, but after 7 years we were able to conceive twin girls. I know that God must have a special plan for them/us. We didn’t get his timing, but kept reminding ourselves He is good, He is faithful, He hears our cries. I vividly remember one night at church, crying during worship as i usually did during this hard time…there was a song about Jesus, can’t remember what it was, wish i could, but the point is Jesus came into the world in an unconventional way…i felt like God was telling me it was ok if my pregnancy was unconventional too. Seek friends, pray, Resolve support group helped me, stay close and connected with your spouse. We were married 12 years before the twins came along, and we are crazy about each other to this day. Love you Little SIS!
Nicole-
I’m a little sister here, but I have the same diagnosis. I feel your pain- I was diagnosed just at the beginning of this year and am just now beginning to really be back on my feet. I would love to know how to pray for you more specifically, friend. I don’t have much advice or wisdom to offer, but sometimes it can just help knowing that someone feels the heartache with you.
I’m here.
From a Big Sister…
He is NOT punishing you!!! I had a problem with getting pregnant and even lost 2 babies. After treatment 20 years later-I have 4 children ages: 20, 17, 13, and 11. If becoming a mother would’ve been easy I would not have the faith in God that I do nor have the love for children to the same degree.Just rremember, In you, Lord my God I put my trust. It is true.
Older sister here…Nicole, I, too have polycystic ovaries, and all the fun that comes with it (you know what I mean). All I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother, and after 10 years of trying to start a family, I felt that dream slipping away. Thankfully, God kept my husband and I from becoming discouraged. Please don’t let your joy slip away. What I thought was…I have a plan, and it must be the best plan. But, God’s plan turned out to be so much better than my own! It can be difficult to see that as you’re going through it, but looking back, I see God’s hand preparing the way. After 10 years I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. Now he is going on 7 years old. God wants to give you the desires of your heart. Just remember His plan is better than your own! Praying for you today.
I am a little, older sister :-), 36 years this week, but life came later for me, and I am pregnant with my first baby. I want desperately to stay at home with her full time, but my husband would rather me work outside the home. I find more and more that we are not like-minded in a lot of areas.
What do you do when feel like God’s will for your life does not match your husband’s will? Who do you obey?
Thank you!
Brenda,
Wow. I feel your pain. I too am in the midst of struggling through the desire of being a keeper at home and full-time mom to my 2 girls (7 and 8), while my husband is convinced I need to work outside the home. I started back to work 6 months (kicking and screaming) ago after 8 years as a SAHM. I so hear your desire for your husband to just TRUST GOD to meet your needs and allow you to be with your baby. Keep begging God to change his heart, and I’ll be praying along with you. I fully understand all you’re dealing with right now. Just know you’re not alone…sometimes knowing that helps. 🙂 I think the best thing you can do for the moment is submit to your husband. God tells us to submit in all things to our husbands as to Christ. I once heard a woman say that when she submits to her husband in a decision she’s convinced isn’t best for them, it’s as if God’s telling her to move out of the way so HE can have a clear shot at her husband! Seriously…there have been numerous times I have (again, kicking and screaming) submitted to my husband and for whatever reason, he ended up seeing things differently after I chose to follow him. Also, your obedience in submission keeps you under the umbrella of God’s protection. Not that He isn’t always in total control, but we seems to experience greater trouble when we step out from under what he has told us to do. God can and will work this out for you and your sweet baby and husband in the best way imaginable (according to his standards…not ours…sometimes due to our limited vision, the two are not the same). I’m struggling along with you, sweet Brenda. Let’s pray together for our husbands’ desires to change. 🙂
Big Sister here for Little Sister Brenda:
Oh dearest one with a beautiful desire. I,like you had my daughter later in my life. I was almost 35 at her birth. We too, were a two income family, and my desire to stay home with my daughter was HUGE like the ocean, and my husband the ever “reasoning” man, could not fathom a one income life.
At first, I went against my husband and borrowed money from my employer (a good friend), to stay at home. After all, my husband just did not have enough faith to believe that God would provide for us… so I showed him, by getting the money. You can see the flaws here I’m sure.
Needless, to say, the staying at home only lasted a year (if that), and when the money was gone, I had no other choice except to go back to work – but I worked nights for the next year and a half. I couldn’t take nights anymore, and my husband was as determined as ever for me to keep working, so off to day care my daughter went. She was two and a half and talking well. The day I walked in that door I was flooded with tears. Until a precious little 3 year old girl walked up to my daughter and said… “I’m Luca, and we are best friends”… off my daughter went, no tears, no looking back… no wondering where I was, or if I was going away… – she was just going to play with all the toys and her new friend Luca. – Our precious God! Our Maker and Ruler of all things and circumstances gave me piece. He also changed my attitude.
There are many things my husband and I do not see eye to eye on. But the Lord and I do.
Here is the lesson Lil Sis:
I was determined to stay at home with my child, I was going to make a way for it, I was going to have my way and honestly, I didn’t care who got in my way, in order for me to have my way. I was justified that God wanted me to stay home and raise my own child. I did not have a care for my husbands “reasonings” – after all “he was just wrong and had no faith”
My rebellion and stubborness here, were not against my husband and his reasoning. But against the Lord, really. My heart was hard towards God on this issue because he did not immediately change the heart of my husband, and it made my heart hard towards my husband because I felt he was standing in my way of raising my daughter the “right” way. It made us as husband and wife distant, and I made our daughter and MY desire an idol. I put MY desire to stay at home with her ABOVE God and put her before my marriage and husband.
Graciously, our God, gave me this little girl, and placed her in my path to show me His mighty love -I had absolute peace about my daughter in day care after that – the desire to stay at home with her never went away, but I had peace.
I would URGE you, to learn from my story… I ask you to guard your heart and pray for the Lord to graciously change your husbands heart on the matter. and if He does not change His heart, KNOW that God has your Luca moment waiting for you – FOR GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES THE RAM! ALWAYS! Guard your heart now and submit this request to your Father who ADORES you and the beautiful child that will soon be here too. TRUST that HE knows this desire of your intimately, BUT ULTIMATELY TRUST that His plan, even if it is for you to go back to work, is better than anything you could plan. I promise.
…and by the way, my daughter is now 13… last year was the first year I got to stay at home with her – AND we Home Schooled. My husband, LOVES it. He now sees the HUGE value in it and connot imagine my daughter going back to public school ever again, nor does he want me to go back to work again.
Oh Sister… God is faithful. Trust that about Him. CAST DOWN those thoughts you are having now about your husband and you and he not seeing eye to eye on things. That’s a foothold for the enemy to make you miserable and it’s the beginning of harding your heart. TRUST that He knows your desire. TRUST that He has enough GRACE and MERCY to walk you through this step by step.
I pray for you even now. Grace and loving peace to you from an ole sister who has walked in your shoes.
ps… sorry this was so long of a post and sorry if there are a bunch of typo…
Little Sister here…I have been thinking about this all weekend long. And then we had a sermon on how sometimes God reduces us to use us…please Lord let glory come from my being reduced. I am coming out of an affair with an old boyfriend. I was one of those women who was so confident in her marriage, that that would never happen to me. And then it was like this really slow progression. This boyfriend resurfaced (as he usually did about once a year) through an email when I was feeling really vulnerable and lonely. I bought into the lie that he understood me and could fill the emptiness I was feeling in my marriage. I seperated from my husband and got my own place for a while. I remember the day I left, I told my ex-boyfriend how hard it was and how lonely and broken I felt and he told me “well, get used to it!” Uh…that’s not what I had signed up for. Over the next 7 months I was very confused and tossed around by my ex who had me just where he wanted me. And meanwhile my life was crumbling around me. I moved home after seven months away, but I’m not sure life will ever be healed or whole again. Satan has ripped my flesh down to the bare bone. I feel so insecure and unworthy. Things I thought I’d left behind me years ago, have crept back into my life…and I’m realizing that satan has me fighting the very same battles I’d thought I’d conquered years ago. Oh…I know there are parts of me that have to die away….but satan is holding me in a place of such low-esteem and unworthiness that moving from one day to the next is hard.
Please pray for me, my marriage and my family. I believe in God’s gracious restoration, I just feel so unworthy of that grace right now.
Big Sister here…
I just saw this post and I’m sorry I’m late. I want to tell you simply this.
You are forgiven whether you feel like it or not.
How do I know this? Because I’ve been there…right where you are. I won’t glory in my shame and tell you the details, but I will tell you this…your life will be healed and whole again as long as you and your husband keep submitting yourselves to the work of the cross.
Grace is never merited sweet girl. Never earned…or else it wouldn’t be grace. It’s given freely to us by a Heavenly Father who loves us with a passion that is loud and living and breathing.
Keep doing what you know to do. Stay in the word, keep renewing your mind. It’s basic, basic stuff, but it works.
Praying for you and yours.
Thank you…I have found so much strength in your words over the last few days. I appreciate it!
Big Sister here…
I have walked the path you walked and I want to assure you that if you have confessed your sin to the Father, your sins are forgiven. I know that for a fact. It took a long time for me to forgive myself for what I did to my husband, who surely did not deserve it. But our gracious Father gave my husband such a spirit of Grace for me that he immediately forgave me. We have been married for almost four decades now, and our bond is so very strong. Draw near to God and He will give you every resource available to resist temptations, and believe that God will do a miraculous healing in your marriage. I am believing with you!
Thank you. I have some peace in the fact that I’m not alone. I think its funny how satan wants to single us out and make us feel like we are the only ones who have ever made mistakes. I find comfort in the fact that your marriage has remained intact and that you have been together for nearly 4 decades! Praise God!
I’m a little sister, but in a similar situation. Mine is the other way, my husband had an affair, left me, and has not turned back. I have found great comfort in Rejoice Marriage Ministries, and the commitment to stand for my marriage as long as that is God’s desire for my life. There are some devotionals that are really encouraging and perspectives from those who have been in your exact situation and have found complete healing. I believe in God’s gracious restoration, that he can make all things new, and what he wants is marriages to stay together. Praise God you are back home!; I would do most anything to have my husband back home. You are on the right path. Keep fighting!
Beth- I am so humbled by your response. I thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I cannot imagine being in the place you are and cheering those on who have made the same mistake your husband has, to return to and heal their marriage. You have true strength and wisdom. I agree that God wants to keep marriages together, and I feel satan is fighting harder than ever to destroy not only marriages but families. I will be praying for your husband to see the error in his ways, the same way I did. For conviction to be heavy upon him, and for a strong desire to move home and heal his family.
Love you!
Little Sister here: I have 2 kids, almost 4 and almost 2 and my patience is all but gone. I could use some prayer for patience and love when they are being completely disobedient. Pray I can teach them to obey us and in turn the Lord.
I will memorize, Beth! I am in the midst of memorizing James but can throw in a Psalm.
Big Sister here: Amy, do not be defeated by your children’s sin! God was a perfect parent, and the children of Israel disobeyed Him. Know that your children are little sinners, born to parents who are sinners, like every child that has lived on this earth except Jesus. The best thing you can do is understand that they are sinners in need of a Savior, and God can and will equip you to be the best parent for these little ones.
Your faithful parenting can help them see that there are consequences for disobedience and rewards for obeying God. Even if you do everything right, there are just going to be times when they have to fail at obeying in order to learn. This is not all about you, so don’t take it personally. Learning to obey the Lord is a process, and there is an enemy working in spiritual places to try to get you down, so put on your armor each day and call on God! It’s not quite as hard to be patient when you realize God is giving you about 2 decades to train and teach your children with love and consistency, so He doesn’t expect them to be perfect at ages 2 and 4. Keep up that memorizing Scripture (they might learn it faster that you if you let the kids eavesdrop)! You can trust God with your children; He loves them even more than you do, and He loves you with an everlasting love. My prayers are with you!
Big Sister here
I’m still praying for those same things and my boys are now 12 and 14. And every prayer I said I couldn’t take it anymore. But God says he will never give you more than you can handle. And there’s always a new day. You may not realize it, but you are developing a patience you never thought you could have. You’ll look back one day and realize how many things you are coping with now that used to seem so daunting. And that patience will touch every other aspect of your life also. God will give you just what you need.
Little sis here: Can I just say that in the midst of breathtaking (not in the good way) fear and shame and loss, it seems that the Word sometimes speaks loudest? Ladies, please believe Psalm 107 with me: “Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities (that was me)….Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. HE SENT FORTH HIS WORD AND HEALED THEM; HE RESCUED THEM FROM THE GRAVE.” This is so true, not because I have lived it, but because that’s who God is and what he says. CLING TO THE TRUTH, LADIES. Remind yourselves often that God is good and what He does is good, even though everything in your body and mind is sreaming something to the contrary. Remind yourselves that your feelings will follow where you tell your thoughts to go…we can’t control our feelings most of the times, but we can control our thoughts. Remind yourselves that you are God’s adopted daughters and that he adopted you according to his pleasure and will! It obviously made his day to adopt us! Oh, ladies…how I struggle with you each day in the battle to believe and live the truth of Jesus. I want to give each and every one of you a hug and help you bear your burdens. Cling to the Living Word. Beg God for it to fall fresh on your minds and hearts. He gets much pleasure from our honest cries to him, for when we are weak, He is strong. I love you, sisters.
Carrie, Thank you for your encouragement. I will cling to the truth of God. He is good!
Hi there! Little sister here, at least for the next 6 days when I turn 40 and join the ranks of the big sisters!
The enemy is trying to beat my family senseless these days. My youngest daughter has autism and it has been complicated by a resistant strep infection that has entered her brain and is attacking her basal ganglia. The short version is that life is not easy right now (is it ever?) My 11 year old is hanging in there but has to be feeling a bit ignored. My marriage is hanging by a thread…BUT God is good. I know that He wouldn’t have allowed this if He didn’t have a mighty plan for us. I am fighting with all I have but after a full half a year of the newest threat my strength is waning. I am trying not to get into the mindset of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Thank you all for the encouragement and for the prayers. I know the enemy cannot stand against us when the mighty women of God begin praising the Holy One’s name. I praise God for you all!
Little Sister Riki:
My heart goes out for you. About 12 years ago, our oldest daughter was diagnosed with Bi-polar illness. Over the next ten years, we literally went through hell on earth with the enemy hitting on all sides and what felt like, without let up. We have two younger children – a daughter two years younger, and a son four years younger than this oldest daughter. Many mistakes and responses were made and guilt increased which was a tool the enemy used to completely defeat me. In the midst of this, I took Beth’s Bible study Believing God and it was like God was literally sitting in front of me, taking me by the hands and saying, “Joan, do you believe me? Do you believe I see all this and can work in your life and in the life of your daughter? DO YOU BELIEVE ME?? It couldn’t have been clearer. I had no choice but to completely surrender this child and all the circumstances to Him that day and on many days that followed. He also gave me a verse during that time in Lamentations 3: 19-26. I claimed that verse then and still claim it today. God knows and sees and understands your mother’s heart. He has a plan and a purpose for your daughter. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Believe in him Riki. BELIVE IN HIM – HE PROVES HIMSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The same God that parted the red sea, that healed, that worked miracles is the same God working in you and your family. He is THAT God! I’ll be praying for you.
Joan, I am a mom of a 19 year old daughter with mental illness. I know to some degree what you are going through. I believe God but am discouraged at times. I realize she is miserable and the family is suffering because no one knows exactly what to do. But God does. Please pray for us. We long for an easy and fast answer but God has been with us every step of the way and is making me stronger! Praise God. I LOVE Him!
Little sis here! Timing of this post is amazing and would love some wisdom from you big sis’. I am 29 and a stay at home mom of a precious 2 1/2 year old daughter with a son on the way in a couple of months. I LOVE that I have the privilege of staying at home and raising my children! I also LOVE girls ministry and have a passion for this next generation of girls. It’s been 2 and half years and I continue to seek Gods face and pray for wisdom and for balance. I pray for God to bring clarity to the question…. Do my ministry passions need to take a back burner? I have felt so discontent for so long and know that God has given me both of these desires but I struggle with how to balance them both. Any ministry hearted big sis out there find the right balance? Stay at home mom friends say just focus on your chIldren, and working mom friends say don’t feel guilty, just go back to full time ministry. Pray with me for God to open a 3rd option and ultimately allow my heart to be content and settled. Thank you!!
Jenn,
Hi I am too a stay at home mom of 7 children and my husband and I were both doing childrens church and homeschooling on top of that. I understand your desire to do ministry because the world and the church make you feel like the job you have a a mother is not a ministry. My husband and I have decieded to stop doing the childrens church because we believe that I need to focus on my children. But if you have such a desire for little girls, why not invite them into your home once in awhile and just spend time with them. Girls so need to know that being a mother is a wonderful thing and to see it lived out with joy in your life will speak so much to them, more than any kind of formal so called ministry. And don’t feel guilty you are doing what God has called you to do and rejoice because it won’t last forever!!
Hi Little Sis – Big Sis here!
I am currently in ministry, and have been for several years. I was a stay-at-home Mom when my kids were little, and loved every minute of it. When I had two boys in elementary school and our third was 2 years old, I began to feel the Lord tugging at me and pulling me into ministry. It was a long process, and a long story that I won’t share here, but He made it crystal clear to me when it was time to begin ministry. I followed the call by beginning a Stephen Ministry program at our church. I was a volunteer director for 7 years, and could do it from home part time. I completed the administrative work on my computer from home, and any meetings we held were at night, so I could balance both family and ministry. Is something like this possible for you?
I found it to be the best of both worlds – stay at home Mom for my kids, which I LOVED, and volunteering several hours a week serving the Lord, which I also LOVED. My children have grown up seeing the importance of serving Christ through helping those who are hurting, but at the same time knew I was there for them. Now that they are mostly grown, I wouldn’t trade those days with them for anything.
The Lord calls us to serve where our passions are, and once we find that “sweet spot” it’s just amazing! I’m confident that the Lord will show you how and where He wants you to serve, and will give you the right balance between family and ministry.
Hang in there, little Sis! God has a beautiful plan for your life, and He will use you mightily as you serve Him through caring for your children and, when the time is right, in ministry as well. You will be blown away by the wonderful blessings you will receive as He leads you down the right path. He will make it clear to you by the passion and excitement you will feel, and the doors will just fly open when you are in His will. You will feel peace when you are in His will. Rest in Him and His timing. God Bless you, little Sis!
I am in the middle of the biggest season of temptation and warfare of my life. I honestly NEVER knew I would/could be sooo vulnerable. I am also in the middle of serving him…and I have NEVER experienced the LORD or grown more in the last 3 years…BUT MY WORD!!! What The Hell is happening !!!! (Sorry..)Is that it?? The leader of hell is completely assulting me and my family!
Not just me, many of my friends that I serve with!
I am coming this weekend…to Austin…I NEED TO HEAR A WORD…!!!!!! I NEED TO KNOW HE IS NOT MAD AT ME!!!! I NEED TO KNOW THAT I AM AND ABLE TO FIGHT THIS! I AM COMING, BEGGING FOR HIM TO TELL ME
” I’VE GOT THIS!”
Hi Little sis – Big sis here. Oh, how I feel your pain. You are in spiritual warfare, and satan is doing everything in his power to make you quit serving the Lord. We see this often when we train a new class of Stephen Ministers, and once you see it for what it is, it makes it much easier to fight! Satan knows the great works you are doing for the Lord, and he wants you discouraged and broken. Don’t let him get to you! I experienced this myself, and as soon as I realized who was attacking me and my family, I dug in my heels and decided the LAST thing I would do is quit! That’s exactly what he wants. I believe you and your friends you serve with are going to do amazing things in Christ’s name. Stand firm and hold each other up, and pray for the Lord’s protection from these attacks. Satan will soon crawl away defeated and leave you alone.
Stay strong, little Sis! The Lord is with you and will hold you up when you can’t stand by yourself. Feel His loving arms around you, and keep your focus on Him.
God bless you!
Praying for you dear sister that you hear his voice SO clearly and feel his love. He is so Not mad at you. He loves you and sees every minute of your life. Holy Spirit breathe life into my sister in Austin and stir up the passion to fight again!
Little Sister here: I am married to a wonderful man who was never taught how to treat the lady he loves. He did not have a Godly male example teaching him how to lead a family. We have two sons and need him to step up. I’m a “just get it done” kind of gal and need more grace to let him lead. I am the disgruntled breadwinner as well… we are at a bit of a crossroad, not knowing if God’s plan is for us to keep plugging along or if there is something else DH needs to be doing.
Beth, how did you know I needed this today, sweet friend?
Big sister here. Oh, my sweet lil sis. Love that man of yours. Ask our heavenly Father to make you into the woman who is the best possible wife for him. I’m much the stronger personality than my husband. I made the conscious decision to help him lead…to the point of asking him to express his opinion first before letting loose with mine. Love him, serve him, encourage him to draw close to God, and hold him up in prayer every day. Trust our heavenly Father to complete His work in him. He is faithful!!!!
Big sister here. Be encouraged, sisters of all ages! He who lives inside of us is all-knowing, all-powerful, and He has an amazing plan for you and your life! If you’re like me, you know so many spiritual things in your head. You strive to “think on those things”. But for me, putting it simply and frankly in practical terms is how I feel God helps me understand. So I will share some of the things that have helped me the most. First, put Him all over your house…scripture that speaks to you on index cards, daily scripture calendars, devotional books wherever you sit, Bible at the bed and another at your favorite chair, etc… Remember to hate sin and pray for the sinner, even when it’s you. When you find yourself worrying or angry, forcibly choose to focus your mind on God instead. Pray without ceasing. Pray God’s words, because “there is POWER” in the word. And also, always pray “in Jesus’ name” again, because there is POWER in the name of Jesus. Lastly, know that you are not alone in whatever you are going through. No matter how bad it seems, YOU are an heir with Christ. YOU are the righteousness of God. You are dearly loved! Reach out to other women in your church or wherever you can find them. Accept nothing but Godly wisdom. The devil is a liar and he has already been defeated. Remember that. Align yourself, your thinking and your behavior with God’s. God bless you, little sister. Know that we’ll be praying for you!
Big Sister here…Amen to Brenda-fellow Big Sister! To all little sisters, reach out to a group of ladies either on your churc or in a bible study of a sister church in your area. They would love to put their arms around you. If you are in the Dallas area and need a loving, nurturing and praying group of Big Sisters, reply and we wilkl respond. Remember, “Sisters R Us”!!
Little sister here…I realize it’s Monday, but I hope this is “conversation” is still ongoing. To keep a long story short I have a teenage daughter who has battled many medical issues through out her life. We are facing yet another one & have been traveling back & forth to Saint Louis (approx. a 3 hour drive one way from where we live). To make a long story short she has rare tumors & we are looking at surgery to remove tumors & invovling transplanting glands. U can take it from here…
Big Sister here… I have a teenage son who has had medical issues since before he was born, and it has been a very hard road! God is faithful every step of the way-just when you think you cant take one more step- He will give you and your sweet daughter the strength to do it. His life verse is Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Another quote that has encouraged me over the years says something like “the one whom you weep for the most at The Mercy Seat will bring you the greatest of joy.” I have found this to be true many times.
Praying for you little sister.
Thank U for sharing Elizabeth, it a very difficult if explain anything we go through in words…Ur scripture & quote were right on btw. We will cling 2 them as we hang on 4 dear life 2 His hand.
I was in an auto accident when I was 3. I grew up with a scar down the side of my face. I was teased (bullied) about it growing up.
If you talk to the most beautiful woman you know, you will find that they still have things that they want to change about themselves. Some don’t think they have anything but their looks.
I have had a strong faith in God, but still wondered “why me”. It is funny, but as I went to college and people accepted me as I was, I stopped hiding out of fear of rejection and started moving beyond my comfort zone, I found that others looked past the scar as well.
I became active in politics, trying to make the world a better place. I even ran for political office. I didn’t win, but I got a lot of support. I run a food pantry to assure that other have food on the table.
Live life. Serve others. In doing so, you will find a strength in yourself that you never knew you had and God will use you to build strength in others as well.
From a Big sister—How timely it is that I read this post today. As I write this response, I am sitting in the ICU with my siblings. My 85 year old father has a brain bleed and we are waiting on MRI results. Precious little sisters, no matter what challenges come your way, the Lord is so gracious and merciful. He will carry you through anything that comes your way. Cling to Him and cry out to Him. He loves and adores you more than you know. I am in prayer for you…
Not sure how 2 resond or reply here (my 1st. day on sight). But just wanted 2 say thanks Nancy, not sure who Ur post was directed 2. Everyone I am assuming, but it hit my heart, so thank you!
Big Sister Here,
I honestly don’t remember a time when I didn’t love Jesus or accept Him for who He is. Perhaps that is the reason the enemy has been relentless. Whatever…..I remind that LIAR that I will NOT let go of His sweet hand. So you remind him too (and yourself!!)Shake your fist at him, get mad, tell him off ! Be encouraged today, know that God is on your side with whatever your discouragement is. As a Big Sister, we have the advantage of being able to look back on so many times when God proved faithful, even when we weren’t, especially when we weren’t. Hang in there sisters, we’re going to make it !!
Good Morning, little sister here (39 but pushing 40 everyday). I am in need of prayers for me to follow His will and not mine! Help me to turn it ALL over to Him. In relationships, I pray for strength and His will be done. I pray I be a Little Sister who glorifies God in all I do.
Thank you all Big Sisters:)
Big Sista here,
In Christ you already glorify God. God’s goodness bring repentance. This repentance literally means changing your mind not trying to be sinless. That comes after you change your mind. See yourself the way God sees you…perfect without blemish. Your freedom to do His will…comes naturally when you see His goodness and love for you. I have spent years looking at my inability to love God as much as I should or trying to obey God’s word to a T. But what I found is His free gift of righteousness and grace is fully realized in my weakness. Focus on His love for you and you will love Him more. Focus on how He followed God’s will perfectly so you are perfectly righteous right now. Focus on how He turned it all over to the will of His Father so that you are always under His grace to always have access to His love. Today He wants to be with you…right now in all your imperfection. His Joy is your strength. How do we feel His joy if we focus on our own efforts that tend to fail often?
His joy is found in three parables…
The Lost Son
The Lost Sheep
The Lost Coin
All found in Luke 15
I believe these stories are about Christians because the father is in relationship to the son, the shepherd owns the sheep, and the women owns the coin. All represent Jesus’s response to His children that return to Him…complete Joy. The Son, sheep, and coin did nothing in these story but basically were received with joy.
I have to return to Jesus daily and His joy is alive when I see Him for who He is and what He has done. So when I fail…it is an intimate moment between Jesus and I…not a condemning one. The more you are open to Him in your short comings…the more He loves on you…just receive His Joy when you go to Him. Your freedom comes out of His righteousness…not you own.
Sin and short coming have been dealt with at the cross…So enjoy your relationship with Him today…He’ll be happy to see you…
Don’t worry…His will is not that we act perfect but that we know how perfect His love is for us.That’s how He changes us for the better…getting right in the mess…feeding us little by little His truth about loving us and never condemning us.
John 3:16 AND 17
Deb
Little sister here…I haven’t been able to get pregnant, partly my fault, partly my bodies make-up, not sure that we will be able to have kids…yesterday my husband told me, “I want to have to children so badly, there’s nothing I want more.” So do I.
Big Sister here….we tried for 10 years and now have 3 beautiful children, ages 7,5,4. There was a time when I felt the same way – our circumstances may be different, but God certainly is not. He promised to never leave us or forsake us. His plan for you may be different than his plan for me, but rest assured that he DOES have a plan for you. Seek him and his word daily. Pour your heart out to him. One day during a bible study, a question was asked to me, “What is the one thing that is keeping you from full surrender to Christ?” My answer was simple – I wanted a baby more than I wanted Him. Cry out to Him! Surrender it completely to Him! His answer may be different for you, but the peace he brings will be worth it. I will be praying for you Nellie.
Hi,
Big sister here. I can see the distress in so many of you on line and in my own interactions. Please know that big sisters are here to encourage and cheer you on. Know that we love you and that we are living proof that God WILL carry you when you are broken, weary and discouraged. Remember that only God has the strength you need. We older sisters can cheer you on but we can’t have the relationship with God for you. Get in the word, listen to praise music and pray, pray, pray. Pray with a passionate desire for healing. Pray with the desperation you feel. God loves you soooo much. He knows you better than you know yourself. Keep the faith. Fight the good fight. Keep on praying and praising and you will survive and fall madly in love with Jesus!
Little sister here again withan amend 2 my earlier post about my daughter her tumors 7 transplant…I think it important 2 share I have had a lifetime relationship of being IN LOVE with Jesus. We new our daughter,(who we named Bethany, because that is where Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead),we have great faith. She is just at an age where she is asking tough questions about why so many things in her body do not function as they should. I LIVE in The Word, it is how I survive. We are all just getting tired…
Little sister here….
This past year, my world fell apart. To make a long story short, it all began with something that seems so trivial, but broke my heart to the core….I was told that I wasn’t beautiful enough by someone who I thought loved me for who I was…..it sent me into a relapse of an eating disorder I’ve already been battling most of my life. I was robbed at gunpoint by seven armed gunman while living in Haiti at an orphanage, and held hostage for two hours. I was evacuated the next day from the country I love, had to leave the children I love and have not been allowed to talk to them for the 6 months since I’ve been stateside. I’m just at a loss. Most days it’s so hard just to take one step because I feel so alone. Almost all the relationships I’ve held dear these past few years has been stripped from me. I just need to feel Christ’s healing touch. Desperately.
Big Sis here… The father of lies has done enough! Oh lil sis, you have been through more than most of us will ever go through. You are obviously beautiful, and I don’t need to see your face to know that. Someone who would move to Haiti to love others must fairly shine with God’s love and beauty. I am sorry you have been hurt. I’m sorry you trusted someone, and they used that to hurt you. I pray that you will join me in inviting the Holy Spirit to fill your heart and soul with his gifts. Bask in the joy he has for you and move forward and away from the pain that has been your companion. I love you!
Hi Stacie. Big sister here. It’s clear from your post you are full of love, compassion and strength. I know sometimes things we go through are so traumatic, so enormous, we feel no one could possibly understand. To experience such terror, such heartbreak…unfortunately often also leads to feelings of isolation. Fortunately for you, we serve the Great Comforter, the Healer of the Brokenhearted! He will make a way for you, Stacie! He has an amazing plan for your life. Trust me when I tell you…he will use each and every minute of it to bless you and others in your future. It might not seem like it now, but He will. Continue to seek Him and you will find Him! He will meet you where you are, and he loves you as you are! Don’t forget; each and every single one of us is an unrepeatable miracle of God! May it strengthen you to know we are praying for you mightily! God bless and keep you!
Older sister, here.
Know that in your darkest dark, He is there with you. You can’t do anything for Him to take His loving eyes off of you. Google the Biblical Names of God and find all kinds of posts of His Name, the provider, the One Who gives you strength, Who loves, Who forgives, Who carries, Who provides…there is not a need or a desire or a plea that He has not answered and has a Name for Himself as fulfiller. Talk to Him. Keep talking to Him. Praising Him will put Him back in the center of your darkened vision and make Him bright again to your eyes and heart. Sometimes the praise is sacrifice. it hurts. Bring your offering of praise to Him. I PROMISE you, you will get through by His grace. I’ve lived sin-filled days, I’ve been homeless, I’ve raised 2 girls much on my own, my marriage survived affairs, I’ve given birth with a 16 year gap between children, I’ve had my business reputation falsely accused, I’ve had family members and best friends betray me, and I’ve lost loved ones…but, God has carried me through and has used every morsel of despair for His glory.He gave me grace to be strong, forgive, love and bless and it was out of holding His big beautiful, nail pierced hand. Jesus is there: loving you, loved you and will love you. Keep walking and talking with Him. There’s nothing you can do wrong that hasn’t been forgiven and can’t be redeemed. In our weakness He is made strong. Let Him be strong for you. Much love, dear and precious little sisters. His light shines for you.
Oh my dear one! My heart just breaks for you. Know that I am praying for you; lifting you up before the throne! I want you know right now that being told you are not beautiful enough is a LIE! A lie straight from the enemy and You are a daughter of the Most High! YOU do not take that! It’s lie and it belongs where all lie’s do; at the bottom of the deepest trench or scattered to the four winds! Having never gone through what you have I can only speak out of my own heart and the lessons He has taught me. It is a painful truth that there are times when it seems as if all that we have depended on has disappeared and we feel the most alone. It is also a beautiful truth that we are never alone. NEVER. In those times of lonliness our Father wants us to draw closer to Him. Try to think of this time as precious and guard it jealously. All of your attention can be given to Him who loves you jealously. He is greedy for you. Rest in Him. Spend time with Him. Let Him use this time to teach your heart that you are deeply and passionately loved! God bless you now and always!
As soon as I read your post I read Psalm 25. I typed it out and as I was finishing my college age daughter called. Bullying never stops at any age, stresses seem overwhelming, the anniversary of the birth and death of a childhood friend. A very important test to take today. Overwhelming feelings.
I shared Psalm 25 with her!
Thank you for your post!
Little sister here: My husband is a pastor who recently lost his ministry due to a moral failure, he now works a regular job 50+ hours and we just welcomed our 4th baby. I’m struggling with postpartum depression and post
Your big sister here has been through hearing satan whisper “failure” at every turn. But you know what my God has whispered and written on my heart – You dont have to perform for me to love you! I love you! Nothing is a surprise to me! I knew about that before it happened and I chose you! I died on the cross for you!
Oops, hit send too soon!
I’m struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. I’m lonely, I miss my husband and feel like I’m drowning.
Little Sister here…
I love Jesus and have walked with him all of my life. I have a 3 year old and a 20 month old. I want desperately to be a homeschooling mom, and we do some learning activities at home but I feel that I should be doing more. But whenever I try to focus on my older daughter, the baby is constantly distracting/whining/needing something. It makes me want to blow a stack b/c I can’t spend the time I want to spend with my daughter (in the morning when she’s most learn-ready).
Also, my home needs to be organized…everywhere. Whenever I try to do something homeschool related, I find myself overwhelmed and frustrated that my supplies aren’t ready or prepared and that my home isn’t perfectly clean and spotless before I begin the activity. I know that I need to let that perfectionism go but it’s so hard…are my expectations too high? I think I give myself grace but I still feel overwhelmed by all of it most days.
Thanks, Big Sisters and thanks, Beth. You are a blessing to me every time I read what you write! 🙂
So I am sort of on the edge between being a big sister and little sister since I will be 39 this month. I want to echo what Beth said about getting to the point when we go to our big sisters with questions, concerns, etc. I know from experience that it can become pretty easy to overwhelm our big sisters and expect them to meet needs that are only meant to be met by Jesus. We have to be sensitive to the fact that these precious ladies have needs of their own and that they are limited and imperfect just as we are. It just isn’t fair for us to expect any one person to give us everything we need. This can include not just our big sisters but spouses, children, etc. Only Jesus can fill that vacuum. I recently came to realize that I had been relying too much on my sweet sister. She gently brought this to my attention. As hard as it was to realize I had to start taking some steps on my own, I see now that she had the wisdom to know what was best for me. I couldn’t be more thankful to my precious big sister for directing me to our Savior and reminding me of His incredible love for me. So-in summary-Little Sisters (myself included), don’t wear out your big sisters! Get to the point-take from them whatever they are able to give you and use what they teach you to become a big sister to someone else!
Little Sister here….
Bottom line my problem is me. I realize I have in me the spirit of God but unfortunately I struggle with temptations and long for things that I shouldn’t. After being in the military and married to it for 14 years, we have recently found ourselves “back home.” Of course with expectations comes disappointments…. not as much with others as with myself. I thought I’d get back on track with God and be stronger than ever, but realistically the opposite. I want to be a better wife, mother, etc but again I have failed. I try to read the Word, can’t seem to focus, I try be examples for my children but end up wanting to drink and sometimes to excess. It is like I fight an inner battle constantly and beg God to give me the strength to “get right” yet again. Why can I not stay on track? I can’t seem to finish what I start with anything especially when it comes to developing a quiet time to spend with God, or even resisting temptations (food, alcohol, spending money,etc). I need to stop rambling as I feel that it’s a struggle that I have always had and fear may not get under control.Need direct guidance and prayer for God to provide someone to guide me (locally too).
Little sister here, please pray for me and my family as the devil is trying to attack from every angle esp throwing depressionand exhaustion at me which is difficult when not having much time to myself with 3 children and a new house that my husband and I have lots of work to fix before moving into by Sept.I keep telling myself that the Joy of the Lord us my strength to but I feel like my joy is out of reach. Thank you for your prayers. And thank you, Beth for your wonderful bible studies which I am doing James, mercy triumphs right now.
Little sister here,
I so need this today. I have been married 15 years. I am so lonely. Tempted to leave, though I know that is not what I need to do. I feel so far from God. So empty…..just nothing left….
Little Sister Here,
I am pulling myself out a huge pit that I got thrown into.
My sweet 2 1/2 year old boy Abbott went to be with Jesus a year and a half ago after battling a brain tumor. Just six months after he passed away we were pregnant with baby number two. So I slowly was getting out of the pit and just when I thought I was almost out I went into premature labor and delivered a baby girl named Avenly. She passed away the next day on my birthday. I am so mad. I grew up only wanting to be a mommy and I feel like the one thing a want I cant have right now. I feel God’s presence and see His love but I am tired of living in this defeat. I want out and want out for GOOD!
Little Sister here… I am a momma of 4 little ones (ages 7, 5 on Thursday, 3 and 1). I am completely overwhelmed! I feel Satan attacking me at each turn – my marriage, my parenting, my quiet time with God… I have lost my patience (i.e. yelling and tearing them down to little pieces) with our children too many times to count in the last month. My husband is being hard on the children – asking more of them than they are capable of. That causes more strife in our marriage. Our communication is lacking huge right now. He wants one-on-one with me, and I try to give him 100%, but he says he wants more. I sit down to read in God’s word, and I just stare at the words. I go to Bible study each week, but I am not engaging. I feel so lonely and anxious. God is so utterly quiet that I find myself questioning if He is even there.
Big Sister here (52)- Just came through a very dark 2yr financial storm. Husband (50)lost his two biggest clients almost simultaneously. We were left with huge debts and back taxes and an unsuccessful two year job hunt sustained by a few weeks of work here and there by the few remaining smaller clients and my small salary at part-time teaching. During this time, I an only child, moved my fragile 86yr old mother into the house next door and helped take care of her until she went to be with the Lord October 22, 2011.
God used Beth’s year of memorizing a verse a week to rescue me. God directed me to hopeful verses on overcoming,victory, and power. I also read encouraging biograhies about overcomers such as Laura Hildebrand’s Unbroken. Also, Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts is an amazing testimony of choosing joy in the midst of overwhelming oppressive circumstances.
Psalm 25:4-7 was one of the scriptures I clung to at this time. Verse 5 . . . For You are the God who saves me. All day Long I put my hope in You.
And He did it! About a month ago,our God provided us with a job with good income and good benefits. The future seems hopeful again and there is love, unity and better communication where there was once bitterness and blame and accusation.
I am so blessed to see how sisters support each other! This is what we’re here for. Many years ago, when I was going through “one of those times” the Lord gave this scripture to me. I still cling to it in “those” times. I pray you find hope in His word…
“I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”
Isaiah 45:3
I am so blessed by how we sisters support each other. That is what it’s all about! Many years ago, when I was going through “one of those times”, the Lord gave this to me. I still cling to it in my struggles today. I pray you are blessed by His word…
“I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”
Isaiah 45:3
Barely a Little Sister here… I’m graduating college soon, and throughout this journey God has slowly turned my heart to women’s ministry and to teaching. In the Spring I did the “James: Mercy Triumphs” study and God so spoke to me and solidified exactly where I am supposed to be, working in women’s ministry teaching, writing, and perhaps speaking someday. **Have any positions open at LP Beth? ;o)
As I’ve gotten closer to graduation though the enemy has really started beating on me. I am 39 days from graduation and feel like I just can’t finish this and after it is all over then what? I know that God is equipping me for something and He sent me to school for a reason, but at the moment I feel ill equipped to do anything except sit here and drool on myself trying to write another research paper and my qualifications for that aren’t real good at the moment either. I don’t want to list everything, but my sons are pulling away from church, they go with us but aren’t involved anymore. I feel my marriage is under attack, my daughter is under attack, and my own self esteem is taking a beating as well. Satan sure does beat down the door when we approach something big doesn’t he? I know that there is something big on the other side of my graduation, at this point I feel really inadequate and unsure of myself in regards to being able to accomplish it. I wonder if I overstepped and put my will onto this, hoping it was God’s. I’m constantly questioning everything in that way, questioning things that three months ago I was positive about, that God was moving in.
Anyway, I could just use some prayer for protection and assurance that God will continue to use me. That Satan will back off, and that whatever this work is God wants me to do I will glorify Him in it.
lil sis here(36). I know I’m loved by the King of Kings but my marriage is falling apart. I feel so alone. We have 4 teen boys and my husband left me 5 years ago for a coworker. We did get back together. I was saved in 2009. Found a great church. I drag my boys every Sunday, husband goes once in a while. They just cant open their hearts to accept God’s love. My husband took money from the atm last friday, came home drunk(he drinks everyday), told me he rented a room because he just didnt want to come home after a night out. I know what the Bible says about marriage. But I feel that Satan has our in his grip. I have church friends but I’m just to ashamed to even ask for prayer. I feel so alone. Our finances, our home, marriage are falling apart. I give thanks to God and put a smile on my face everyday but my smile is so fake.
little sis here….
I’ve been feeling really short with my husband lately. he’s been job searching and been burned out at his current job for a long time already. on top of all that he has chronic health stuff that he deals with on a regular basis. it seems like everyday when we get home from work, he has to vent. I care and I want him to vent and I want to encourage him, but I am tired of it. i’m just feeling worn out trying to be the positive one – but not too positive as to irritate him…
Big Sister Here – I’ll never forget the day, right in the middle of praise and worship at church, the Lord spoke to my spirit, “What is happening in your back yard is about to happen in your family.” What was happening in my backyard? The plumbing septic system had backed up; how in the world did that relate to my family? I soon understood (and excuse the language, but it could be worse): the crap was about to surface.
As the septic system backed up, all the water was surfacing in our yard, and it wasn’t clean water, it was dirty, ugly, feces filled water.
That is not a word you want to hear from God, but when God speaks (either curses or blessings), it WILL come to pass. Over the next two years, one bad thing after another happened in my family. It was ugly and it smelled. But when God told me it was about to happen, I knew it was His plan and that He would be there all along the way.
There is light shining down my tunnel now. It is not all clear and all the deliverance has not yet come. But know this one thing, all that was brought to the surface came for one purpose – so that God could heal it. And everything we have offered to Him, He has redeemed and restored; God never reveals except to heal!
Whatever has come into your life, allow God to reveal if there is sin in it, submit it to Him for healing and know this: there is absolutely beautiful, luscious, green grass growing where that ugly water surfaced earlier. That is what awaits you on the other side of redemption!!!!
Oh, I hope I’m not too late…
Your little sister is is at her wits end…my husband just deployed to Afghanastan, and Satan is on me hard with lie after lie about God’s goodness. The devil is weighting me down with fear over the future. I know God is good, but every time I turn around the devil puts another lie about God’s goodness…that God doesn’t want me to live a long life with my husband, and do ministry, and have kids. My husband and I got married almost 7 MONTHS ago…so we are newlyweds and almost 2 months into this deployment…it is HARD…and I am trying to surround myself in God’s truth…I am just overwhelmed and bogged down and defeated and tired.
Big sister here. I’ve learned that my feelings are easily manipulated by satan and circumstances can quickly overwhelm me so when I’m feeling overwhelmed, alone, afraid; I remind myself of the truth: We are not alone and He is not overwhelmed and He is with me, with each of us. I pray a simple prayer: Lord, I trust you; I believe you and IN you. I thank You and praise You, Jesus, for the wonderful life you have given me and for the eternal life that awaits me.
Little Sister Here: I’m married (almost 16 years) to a non-Christian and we’re raising three lovely children (ages 15.5, 14 and 6.5). Please pray for my family! We don’t have much more time with the two oldest, both boys, and I fear that their father’s choices will hurt them in a big way because Dad chooses to live life without the fear of the Lord.
Praise the Lord who has given me strength and joy in the midst of the circumstances because I choose to trust Him and to look to Him (trying when I remember, to do things His way). I’m still amazed how the Lord will take the mess I’ve made and make it right when I commit things to Him.
Little sister here…. I was sexually abused as a young girl by my oldest brother. I sit here writing this with tears streaming down my face. I kept this horrible secret to myself for over 10 years… Then finally shared the truth with my family. I had many years of rebellion, including the use of drugs, being in a abusive relationship, and handing my body over to men. I since have confided in people of faith and thought I was past all of this. I have been married to my amazing, god loving, husband, for 5 years now. That alone shows God amazing grace. We have been blessed with two beautiful children that I love more then I could ever imagine. The last couple of weeks I have been attacked in my head with flashbacks of the horrific abuse and my previous sinful nature. I am trying my hardest to understand why… at this time… I am having such saddening and traumatic flashbacks. I just ask that you pray that a purpose comes from all of the hurt and a peace surrounds me that can only come from our awesome God.
Christine