I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:
“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”
Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.
Have I been there, my beloved little sister?
Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And part of me survived. And part of me died.
And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.
And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.
I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.
YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.
I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”
Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:Ā encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.
Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:
If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”
If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”
Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)
Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.
Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.
Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.
One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.
Psalm 25.
I mean it.
I’m going to be asking you about it.
OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.
Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.
I love you.
Little Sister here… I’m in a difficult marital situation (most of the time we only tolerate each other) & after returning to work after a few days of vacation I found out that my department was somewhat going away & I would have to re-interview to keep my job. Last week we were notified about the people the new group would hire & I was not selected, so I will remain in my current position until management decides how to reallocate the work. Due to the marital situation I can’t tell my husband what is going on at work since he wants me to make more money. I’m constantly being put down & belittled so my self-confidence is shaken to the core. I started a home based business several years ago to be a backup plan to prepare for a situation like this, but unfortunately I never took the action to move the business forward. Not only am I going through every emotional imaginable, I don’t have the confidence I need escape my fear. . I donāt have any friends outside of my work to confide in & Iām a long way from m support system. I’m seeking God for guidance during this time & since it’s sad that I’ve never read the Bible cover to cover, I’m throwing myself into a 90 day plan to read the Bible. I know deep down this will pass, but Iām struggling & feel like my world (ever so small) is crumbling.
Big Sister Here;
Little Sister, Do not hold out on your husband tell him about the employment changes your company has made.
Pray and ask the Lord to go before you and prepare your husband’s heart to receive what you are about to tell him. You have no control over what your employer is doing. This isn’t your fault! If you are not in a bible teaching, preaching church. Find a church and ask your husband to attend with you. Do not pressure yourself to read the bible in 90 days. What is this going to prove or accomplished? If, no growth is taking place, then it is in vain. The most important, thing is you ARE reading the bible and learning as you read daily. We have studied one book, of the bible for one year; and I still do not understand everything I have read. Take your time and study what you are reading-this is where growth will take place. Remember your are your husband’s help mate. Let’s talk about your struggling and fears. Email me.
Little sister here is praying for you today. I recently started a Bible plan that was supposed to be a year long and with many prayers for a passion for His Word to come alive, He answered and I’m almost 50% through it. It’s life changing. I’ve heard that before, but watching God’s work and promises come together as a whole instead of pieces put together here and there is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Praying for the Spirit to prepare your husband’s heart and show you His hand through all of this. Also praying for a full heart reunion between you and your man.
Little sister here… needing to believe that love is possible, and love is worth it.
Big sis here.
Okay. I know this one for sure…
1 Corinthians 13:1-13.
Believe it.
Big Sister Here….
Believe it.
I have a train wreck of a past when it comes to love.
That cannot be where the focus is.
You must focus on where love comes from…
Several years ago, I read a book by Max Lucado called, A Love Worth Giving.
I strongly recommend this book.
It was a catalyst for me to search the Word to know what true love really is and where (Who) it comes from.
Big sister here…. oh yes I have had some huge bumps in my life and alone moments. My help in troubling situations is knowing that when the devil hears scriptures, he hears God talking and it knocks him down!(Beth told us that.) If I would continue to rehearse or review over and over what was bothering me I will say outloud my mind is quiet. I then have several scriptures that I recite as well as say the 5 Statement Pledge of Faith 1- I believe God is who HE says HE is
2- I believe God can do what HE says HE can do
3- I believe I am who God says I am
4-I believe I can do all things through Christ and
5-I believe God’s WORD is alive and active in me! So I AM BELIEVING GOD! There are times when I am exhausted and can’t think so I will sing Jesus loves me this I know…
There are several godly women that I can talk about anything. Daily I pray that God will put the people, places, and things in my life and thank HIM in advance for how HE will work it our in HIS time and HIS way. (that is a reminder to me:)
Know I will keep you in my prayers. I’ll pray that God will put special people, places and things in your path to help you through. That you will feel His presence as HE is limitless. His Godstops moments are such a gift. I have realized and it took a while- that- stepping out in faith means stepping out.
Bible study has and continues to change my life. So Bottom line for me is knowing HIS WORD is a Lamp unto my feet and a Light unto my path. Psalm 119:105
BELIEVING HIM with you, Kim
I’m a Little Sister who needs Big Sister intercession. My husband and I adopted our two children from Russia as toddlers. Our nearly 7-year-old son has severe and scary attachment issues and we are searching desperately for help for our family. I am weary beyond measure.
andrea, i am a post-adoption counselor…do you know about karyn purvis and her book, The Connected Child? she trains therapists in a wonderful method called TBRI…call focus on the family and they can recommend a therapist in your area..try to find another adoptive family/support group that can surround you..you don’t need to be alone in this! .if i can help, feel free to email me at [email protected]. praying for you…you are not alone!
Big sister here…Andrea, try to find a church with a special needs ministry. Many offer respite help (at least a parent date night) and can hook you up with other parents who have dealt with tough issues with kids. Also your adoption agency might have some resources.
Little sister here who is going through the same thing. We have 6 children 2 of which are adopted and have severe attachment issues and processing disorders. My other children are suffering and hurting and I am exhausted. I have no wisdom to offer you, but I commit to pray for you as I pray for strength to get through tomorrow.
Andrea,
As a Big Sister, we have been in your shoes. Our adopted sons are small… but we have walked where you walk. We were blessed to go to a Empowered to Connect workshop sponsored by Focus on the Family. To say lightly… this has changed our world dramatically. If possible, go to the conference in Tenn. in September.
Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! There are TONS of Moms and Dads out there that have kiddos that have these same diagnosis’ and are not feeling attached to their child either. Anger, depression, and feeling like a failure are VERY COMMON feelings. People just are afraid to say them out loud. God called our families to adopt these children… remember that. HE KNEW that we were strong enough to care for these children coming from hard places.
Praying for you Andrea, and your husband, and kiddos.
Exactly what I needed to hear, Laura. Thank you! I am looking up the conference now, and you described my emotions spot-on. Thank you for the prayers!
Big Sister here for you, Andrea — I’ve been there — I’m still there — my now 8 year old son is on the autism spectrum. The blessing — I’ve spent more days on my knees pleading to God than I would have otherwise — Cling to the knowledge that Christi is in you – He is the Hope of Glory — and you CAN make it through each day. I remember the weariness of the days before diagnosis and therapy — and I wish I were there to kneel on the ground with you and wrap you up — but next time you’re there, know there’s a Big Sister praying you through each day!!!
Kristi,
Thank you! I appreciate the prayers and your kind words.
Little Sister here…
Adenomyosis, that’s what the doctor called is, but what it meant to me was a deep struggle just beginning, and a challenge to the one dream I’ve had my entire life, to give birth to a child of my own. Sure, I have a stepson that I love more than I could ever explain, but I want the whole experience of motherhood, including the 9 months of having that child growing within me, getting to feel that miracle first-hand. But that one word to me seemed like a death sentence.
But I know that it’s more than just a challenge, it’s a generational curse that I am trying to stand firm in breaking. My mother had issues after she had me and my two siblings, and by 27 she had a hysterectomy, but at 33, I’m behind on the game, and the adenomyosis has had more time to get a firm grip on my uterus. But I know the scripture, and the promises of God, how He grants the desires of our hearts when our hearts are fixed on Him. I read about Sarah, Hannah, Elizabeth, and how through their barrenness God revealed Himself, and I hope that He too will do the same in me, but it’s difficult to hold on to hope when every month you get a painful reminder.
So I need words of encouragement, to hold on, prayers of healing, and this generational curse broken off me and my future children.
Hi Jen,
Big Sister Jen here.
I want you to know that you are not alone. I know what you are going through right now is so hard. But I love that you are reading about Sarah, Hannah and Elizabeth. Stand firm on those scriptures and claim life over your body for a baby and know that I will be praying for you as well.
Also, we have a BIG community of women who are trying to conceive on our prayer wall at http://www.prayforyourbaby.com. I hope you will leave a request there so many moms that are trying to get pregnant and some future moms-to-be can also pray for you.
Please feel free to email me.
Many Blessing my dear little Sister.
Jennifer Polimino
I hope I’m not too late! I’m looking forward to reading the other comments…your little sister here: is a stay at home mom, and gets really lonely sometimes. On the days when all your friends are busy, and you can’t stand another day at the house alone and don’t want to spend money you shouldn’t spend shopping, what do you do? The enemy likes to come in with every temptation for me on those days. Your little sister here: really misses going on short-term mission trips, and all the spiritual benefits that come from it, but has to stay here for little ones sake, while I’m still having babies. How can I start to make my own neighborhood and community my mission field in reality and not just some nice idea that I should do? I think that if I’m involved in ministering to others, that will leave a whole lot less time to focus on self. Lord knows I need that! Less time focused on self and more time focused on others!
My dear Little Sister…oh how I remember those days — and btw, I was living in a small town and my husband was on the road ALOT and I was a sitting duck for the enemy…and I was involved (deeply) in ministry at our church (as was my husband). And, sad to say, ministry became more of a focus than the God in whose name I was doing it. It is retrospect that allows me to see that. The enemy of our souls would have us look to ANYTHING even good things to be our “help” and “answer”. But Katie, I would encourage you (and oh how I wish I had had this encouragement — so understand this does not in anyway come with any kind of condemnation intended) to sit with God and make HIM your answer. This may seem like a pat answer, but this season of your life, with all of its limitations is really a time of freedom to seek God in the way He has for you to seek Him…run to His word, (maybe even join our Nehemiah Bible Study if you haven’t already š When the enemy comes run to your God in prayer…learn to LEAN HARD into HIM. Soak Him up (I wish we could go for coffee and spend some time together on this because I soooo wish I had had then what I see now) Katie, though you may want the flesh and blood company and the distractions of getting out of the house…remember this that is truer than true — YOU ARE NOT ALONE…YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU as surely as if He were standing in flesh and blood holding your hand. Learn to let Him be your constant companion, source of delight and even “entertainment” (he has a wonderful sense of humor).
And Katie, every moment you breath is an opportunity to minister…when you cuddle your little one you are “doing a good work” that touches the heart of our God. When you feed them, when you change a diaper — this is all “the good work” that “will reap a harvest of righteousness at the right time” …don’t grow tired in it! (Galatians 6:9) Jill Briscoe a delightful woman of God, writer and teacher, reminded us that our mission field “is between our two feet”. Ah yes, where ever those two feet may be! As you seek God, you will be amazed at the ways that may seem “insignificant” at first, that God will use you…but trust Him to bless you with Himself and bless the ways He uses you as you surrender this season and your heart, in it, to Him.
This may not be what you were hoping to hear, but I hope that in some way it encourages you and comforts you. Life IS GOD where ever we find ourselves. Blessings (and I am praying for you, Katie).
Debbie
Big sister here, Katie — Just remember that boredom & loneliness are very real problems for young mothers, I remember those feelings, and they are prime tools of the enemy! Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to have a good cry and get those emotions out. When you feel calmer you’ll be more productive. You’re right, focusing on others will help a lot. Maybe you could bake something for an older person or someone who’s sick in your neighborhood….or take a walk with another young mom and your kids — anything to connect. Pretty soon those connections can lead you to have deeper conversations if you desire to have your mission be your neighborhood. – Just remember you aren’t alone in your feelings!! God is always waiting to hold you in His arms in those troubling times, if you’ll go to Him and ask. I still do that!!
Big Sister here…
Staying at home with my children took a lot of sacrifice financially, so I know broke and bored! The library is my first suggestion. Free! Get a cloth bag and designate it as your library bag. Pick a day (or two) each week that you always go. Fill up on new books each week, your children will love you reading to them. Most libraries have summer reading programs for children and even adults. Sign up and get prizes…for free!
I agree that if you can find a way to serve someone it will encourage you. Pick weeds for a neighbor, Take the little ones to pick up trash, teach them by doing for others.. It feels good.
Just get out of the house when you need to.
It’s amazing how cheaply you can spend hours at a Mc Donald’s play place!
PRAY! Ask God to show you how much he loves you, he does, and so does your bib sis’
Laurie
I’m a big sister. I have one daughter and we had been very close. She has 4 girls from 18 to 10 years of age. Four years ago when she was 36 she decided that she should distance herself from me and that she did. An older woman told her she needed to do this. So she has not talked to me for 4 years. At first she would let me see the girls as I practically raised them when they were little and tried to be a good influence for God to them. But after about a year in 2010 she decided I could not see or talk to or text the girls. She blocked all their phones and e-mails. I’m so weary because my husband passed away last may 2011 and she would not talk to me at the funeral and has not contacted me at all, no compasion or communication from her at all.
I do not know why she started this. I did nothing to deserve to be hurt like this, my heart is broken in a million pieces. They only live about 4 miles from me. She is a child of God but her heart has been hardeded. I’ve asked for forgiveness and reconcilation but she will not hear of it and just hangs up on me. There is no hope in sight. I could start fresh and not ever talk about any of it if she would just give us a chance. I miss all of them so bad; never knew a mothers/grandmothers heart could hurt so bad. I wonder if anyone else has had this happen to them with their daughters. I’m so alone every nite with no one coming over or calling. I know God is with me and I guess His timing is a lot different than mine. But above all HIs will be done in this situation. Lonely without my girls.
Oh, sweet Bobbie…I know this same war. Believe this one thing…this is a battle being waged in the heavenlies. I firmly believe that the enemy sets out to destroy us. Any way he thinks he can. But, just like Job, we have to trust God through this war. Choose the side you are going to be on. I’m on God’s side. Battle on your knees. Don’t try to understand this because it is not your battle to fight…this is God’s battle. I’ll bet He has already confirmed that to you in your quiet time.
Beth Moore has said something that really spoke to my heart about this type of attack…there is a greater glory at stake.
Trust God. Pray but don’t wring your hands. Pray believing God that HE is working this out for good. He must trust you so much to allow this in your life.
Hold your head up, mighty warrior, your Deliverer WILL come. And in every moment you persevere through this “calling,” He will delight you with His love. He sings over you. He calls you His. One precious thing God gave me a while back was a new name…so very interesting when He told me my new name. I put that new name on a Bible…inscribed right on the front so anyone can see this name. It is personal between my Lord and me. That name…”SOARS WITH EAGLES.” And it ties back to Psalm 91…not Isaiah.
I pray that God would whisper a new name to you. He gave a new name to Abram, to Jacob, and to Peter.
It takes great faith to believe God through what you are going through. Remember how Abraham had to be willing to offer Isaac? Give your daughter to God. You can trust Him just like Abraham did.
I am believing God. For you. For me. Look up. Proverbs 3:5-6.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. I needed to hear from your heart and when you wrote “God must trust you so much to allow this in your life” that’s exactly what i needed to hear. i’ve been studying Beth’s “The Inheritance” and just this morning as I was half asleep the Holy Spirti whispered to me that I needed to claim my property/hertance/my family back, set my feet on her and her family and just pray. It’s mine– not Satan’s and I can claim it for my own thru Him. So powerful and amazing to me. So I was on my knees asking Him to help me claim my daugher/grandaughters as they are my Heritage from God above. Thank you again. I live in Ft. worth Texas.
I’m another Big Sister who has a daughter 34 and two great grandchildren. What I want to share is that I had an estrangement experience from the daughter’s perspective. When my mom found my boyfriend in my room sr. year, she did not believe me when I told her I was afraid of sex because my stepbrother who lived in another state had molested me when I was 9. We were never close after that and had several estranged times due to the influence of my stepfather. When I was married and pregnant, she wouldn’t see me because my stepdad had a problem with my husband. Things have always been rough between us. There was a time when I was remarried and my husband wanted to adopt my daughter so that was another time she stopped speaking to me. We were never able to talk about these problems, and our relationship was minimal. I really missed having a mom. Then, in 2010 my stepfather passed away, and she was alone. I was the only child as my brother had passed away 20 years ago. It took a lot of prayer and encouragement from God to begin to rebuild our relationship. I did it from obligation, but as time goes on, I have learned to know her again and hope to have a more loving relationship. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. However, when God reaches your daughter and brings love back into her heart she will be back. I call her daily and see her weekly, and we now say I love you. It really makes me want to cry to read about your pain – but God will bring you through it. With God’s love and Jesus’ salvation, I want to encourage you.
Yes, I understand completely. I posted on the 9th. It is a grief like unto death. I have a notebook of my prayers for my daughters and a reminder on my cell phone to pray for them daily. I do my best to just pray and leave it in God’s hands- I can’t allow it to steal my joy and peace as it has done in the past. If I let it become my focus, it leads to depression. It is a constant battle, but I choose to focus more on my relationship to God and my husband right now.
Big Sister here. Remained single until 44. Now at 50, realize that marriage doesn’t always cure loneliness. Only a relationship with the Lord will satisfy! Single sisters, get busy in ministry! Read your Bible! Go to Bible studies. Organize Women’s ministry events (many of the married women don’t have time!) Teach Sunday School. Feed the poor. WHEREVER the Lord leads! And, WHATEVER you do, always go to church to worship the ONE who loves you most…it’s not about who you sit with. Don’t let the enemy convince you of anything else! Many of the women sitting with husbands and families are heart broken! Rest in Isaiah 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband – the Lord Almighty is his name” There will be no one who loves you more!
What balm to this sister’s soul! Thank you for sharing your great words of wisdom.
Christy, I love that you have a picture of a kitty! Hope he/she is yours…beautiful. The Lord gave me kitties to keep and love and show me TONS of application to His Word. Thank Him for that!!! š
Thank you for that! I needed to read what you said.
Will be praying for you, Joanne!
Big Sis here….. My husband and I have been married for 37 years and we have a 32 year old daughter and a 17 year old son. After our daughter was born we had many, many years of barreness and suffered one miscarriage. I was thankful to God for the terrific daughter he had given us but prayed over and over for him to give us more children. Long after we had given up hope (and been told by Doctors that we could not have any more children) I suddenly found myself pregnant at age 42! Our son has been such a blessing. I call him my miracle boy because not only had God answered my prayers to conceive, my son was born at 25 weeks and weighed 1 lb. 10 oz. God answered our prayers again by not only allowing him to survive but to survive with only very minor health issues. He is now 17 yrs old, 6’1″ tall and loves the Lord! To all of my little sisters who are suffering from infertility, I know that it is hard and Satan tries to drive a wedge in your life and confidence but God is good! Remember Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Blessings to all little and big sisters in Christ,
Chris
38 year-old little sister here….met my husband six years ago, we have had two miscarriages and after testing galore, doctors say everything looks good, no diagnosis for why we are infertile. We are choosing not to use drugs or procedures. some days I want to just go out and rescue a child and bring them home so we provide a home, but my heart is still broken. I continue to take the hurt to the Lord and ask Him what is next. Some days that is not easy to do and I feel like a failure. It is a very lonely journey to walk through. Thank you so much for the encouragement. God is the Author and Creator of life and He DOES have a hope and a future for each of us.
Little Sister here, I’m a newly wed and we need some prayers on how to fight the “right” way with still showing love and respect to each other
Laura – big sister here. First I wanted to let you know how awesome it is that you recognize that you need to maintain that love and respect for each other so early in your marriage. I can tell by your words how committed you are to find your way through a battle that every marriage goes through. One of the biggest lessons I learned about being married (happily married for 11 years by the way) is that you are going to disagree, but finding that place of unity is powerful. Sometimes that place of unity is not exactly that place of complete agreement. It is so much easier to find unity when you understand and are committed to meeting the needs of your spouse. Marriage is about placing someone else’s needs above your own. When you approach God from that position, He will answer your prayers and give you the wisdom you need to find that place of unity. I’m not talking about subservience, I’m talking about submission (which should be mutual). Hang on to this – God has placed the two of you together and the enemy would like nothing better than to tear you apart – because what you can do for the kingdom from a place of unity terrifies him. Ecclesiastes 9:4-12. Second – remember when you pray to God from this position, He will usually show you what you need to change about yourself š But don’t let that discourage you. I have seen God work miracles in others when I allowed Him to make changes in me. Lastly, Jimmy Evans has written a fantastic book on the subject called “Marriage on the Rock”. My church hosted one of his marriage seminars and it was life changing. I hope that helps and again – I think it takes great courage to seek the “best” that God has to offer in a happy healthy marriage instead of accepting the “less than” that the enemy would like you to swallow and live with.
Oh, I hope this is not too late…
Little Sister here: I am single and struggling so badly with this. I so dearly want to meet the man God has for me, but His time is a bit slow for my taste. š All my friends are married with children and my last two single friends just started dating great guys. I’m trying hard not to be jealous and encourage them, but at the same time I’m still struggling with feeling that I’ve done something wrong, that God is punishing me for past sins, and wondering what I need to be doing to meet “the one.”
Big sister here….if there’s any lesson that God seems to never tire teaching me, it’s to wait and trust. I believe He uses it in my life to set my focus on what is true, on what is lovely, on what is praiseworthy, on what is good. Of course, that would be Him! Abraham waited, David waited, Joseph waited. And they didn’t wait for nothing. What they waited on was worth the wait because they discovered a deep beautiful relationship with the Lord Himself in the midst of the waiting, sometimes agonizing and painful waiting. The enemy steals our days away from us if we allow and he’ll try to cause us to beat up on ourselves in the process. Seek the Lord first and foremost and know that your past is covered and thrown as far as the east is from the west. Ps. 27:14. Love you, Little Sister!
Hi Sara,
I don’t know if this will be an encouragement but I pray for my husband. I don’t know where he is but I pray for him, pray for his day, what he is struggling through, praising God for him.
Keep seeking God!
Blessings from another little sister.
Joanne
Big sister here: God does not punish us for our past sins once we have confessed and repented, the slate is wiped clean. He does not keep bashing us over the head with our sins. If you are remembering your past sins, it is the devil that is whispering that self-condemnation to you. You need to ask God to bind, gag, and render inoperative the demons of self-condemnation, self-doubt, and fear. Ask God to fill you with patience and the light of his love. The devil does not know your heart, but he wants to destroy it. Only God knows your heart.
Secondly, put your focus on other things (church, volunteering, exercise, book club, etc) and surrender the worry to God. Anytime you start to worry or fret say to yourself – I take captive those thoughts and will not go there. God wants you to be happy. Don’t get in His way! Blessings.
sara, i just want to encourage you not to despair…i was in your same place several years ago..i would cry myself to sleep…and now i am happily married. it is so worth the wait. don’t believe satan’s lies that you are not lovable or worthy…trust God that he has GOOD PLANS for you. meditate on psalm 37..and hang in there!
Big Sister here: Sara,I first of all want to send you a big compassionate hug! The Lord truly does love us ( all of us). Although I married at 22, it was 12 years before we were able to give birth to our first child. During those years of infertility I, too, felt that God loved me less until I chose to trust him in spite of my feelings. Peace reigned mostly after that as I trusted him to do what he thought was best. I hung up verses to encourage me and I kept a prayer journal. I don’t know what God has planned for you, but I pray that he will draw you so close that you won’t have time to miss a husband. I love & respect my man, but it’s Jesus that truly fills me.
There is no condemnation in Christ. I don’t believe you are being punished etc. It sure is hard waiting-I remember. Blessing and peace to you Little Sister
Big sis here…about Psalm 25.
I read a commentary today on Charles Spurgeon’s teaching from Psalm 25. Verse 19 spoke a word to me that I just wanted to share with any of my sisters going through enemy attack. Our enemies can be our closest loved ones.
From verse 19 “They hate me with cruel hatred.”
(Paraphrasing) The serpent’s seed breathes out hate because their father is a hater and they imitate him. Nothing is more cruel than hatred that is unreasonable and unjust.
Quote: “A man can forgive one who had injured him, but one whom he has injured he hates implacably.”
“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves, “is still our Master’s word to us.”
Big sis sharing now…I had never thought about how condemning it is to a person who has hurt someone unjustly. If there is no repentance in that person’s life, he/she hates unjustly the one they have been cruel towards…and therefore, escape self-condemnation. It then becomes irrationally the victim’s fault that they are hated.
I hope that makes sense to someone who is being cruelly victimized.
Your big sister here. One of the best realizations that I have had is this: Everybody has junk in their lives. Everybody has tough times. Know that you are not alone; we have traveled the bumpy and rutted journey before, and we still do. Our circumstances may not be the same, but the pits are real for all.
Everybody loves the mountain-top experience with God and the intense love and joy found therein. But I have discovered that it is in the deep valleys I have gone through that I have felt closest to God, and God deeply close to me. For it is in those times that I am literally facedown crying out to Him, that He reaches out, picks me up, and holds me tight. And when one is in the Father’s arms, no matter what your current circumstances are, all is right with the world.
One of my favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:17, “The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” This verse overflows with promises from God to you.
I’m a Little Sister, for 19 months I’ve dealt with chronic pain. It began in my right hand, and since then has spread up my arms, down my back, and now engulfs my entire body. My family has been very supportive, and we have sought answers, treatment, and prayer. From looking into juvenile arthritis, to Scleroderma, to cancer(hand, brain,spine..), to a kidney issue, nerve or muscle damage, my family and I have given so much time, energy, and money. I love God, and He is absolutely huge in my life, but I’ve been honest with Him, I’m mad. I’ve watched my physical decline speed rapidly. From being an active 15 year old, to being unable to sleep, sometimes eat, and worrying about doing things based on what the chairs will be like… I feel more angry with God, at times, than with the physicians who said I make up my pain. No fifteen year old wants help tying their shoes, taking a shower, as they loose countless hobbies. I am struggling because of all the uncertainty. I ask you pray for my family, and that I trust God, despite the fact He could have healed me and hasn’t. Ultimately, the thing I fear most is that I would have gone through this in vain, but, with God’s help I am learning to love Him, and I know that he won’t let it be in vain. I don’t want to survive anymore, I want to thrive.
Big Sister says: Bless your heart to have this challenge at such a young age. Some specific things in your post jumped out at me like “struggling b/c of uncertainty” – everything is uncertain for everybody! But the beauty of that is as Christians we don’t have to struggle w/ it b/c it’s all in God’s control, His plan. We have to surrender our uncertainty and worry and let God take care of it as is His plan. So pray and tell God what it is you are surrendering to him. And you may have to do it multiple times b/c the devil will keep whispering to make you worry.
Secondly,”He could have healed me and hasn’t”. Wow. You sound angry and that’s OK. God allows challenging situations to strengthen our faith. It is how you handle being angry that makes the difference. I would probably pray and ask for forgiveness for my anger and expectations and (once again) surrender that expectation of healing to Him. Have faith that He will guide your life and has a plan for you.
One of my favorite verses: Matthew 11:28-29
Blessings
I am a big sister. This may not be your answer at all, but I just read an article last night that could have been you writing it. It took 7 years for some people to be diagnosed with Lyme disease. Western Blot was one of the ultimate determining tests. Initial tests showed no lyme disease, and they didn’t know of any tick bites, etc etc. Just a suggestion if you haven’t already exhausted this option. Don’t give up!
big sister here: It’s just a thought. you may already know all about chiropractic medicine, but then again, maybe not. all i know is: I’d be lost without my chiropractor on speed dial. It’s just a thought for you.
big sis here. here’s a word He just gave me exactly when I needed the encouragement so I’ll pass it along:
Stability
“As for God, His way is blameless; the word of the Lord is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God, the God who girds me with strength and makes my way blameless? He makes my feet like hinds’ feet, and sets me upon my high places. He trains my hands for battle, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation and Your right hand upholds me; and Your gentleness1 (condescension) makes me great. You enlarge my steps under me, and my feet have not slipped.” Psalm 18:30-36
Walk in My ways, and your feet will not stumble. You are living in a day when “truth has stumbled in the streets”2, but I will make your footing firm. Fix your eyes upon Me, and I will be your STABILITY even when all around you āfeelsā unstable.
You do not have to believe according to how it ‘feels’.
You can trust Me with what it IS.
I am in control, and you can take your stand on Me. I am your Rock and Defense -that your feet do not slip. Do not rely upon yourself (you donāt have to); rely upon Me.
Take heart.
“And He will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is his treasure.” Isaiah 33:6
1 (gentleness= humility and patience, mildness, tenderness, characteristic of God that fosters growth)
2 Isaiah 59:14
Big Sister here . . .
I clung desperately to these verses during a crisis in my life – so just put your name in the blank, and let God speak directly to your heart:
“But now, thus says the LORD who created you ______, and He who formed you, _______:
FEAR NOT, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE.
When you pass through the waters, I WILL be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
When you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
For I AM the LORD your God, the Holly One of Israel, YOUR Savior.”
PRAISE HIM!!! I hold to this Scripture sooooo much, too. He is FAITHFUL!!!
Little sister here: my husband and I are called to plant a church in Fairfax, Va, and we’ll launch this September.
I am incredibly excited about the journey, please know that…
He is a pastor, but I have no experience in ministry outside volunteering in the youth group; I’m scared. I don’t know what I’m doing. I didn’t go to school for this- I’m a poli sci major who doesnt know the greek and hebrew translations.
Satan is attacking this call big time through fears and insecurities of being illl-equipped and unable to reach the people here with the gospel. I know that the Lord’s calling to church plant here will glorify Himself in a place like Northern Va, and my job is to simply abide in Him, obey, and trust. I know that He can do anything, and He who calls you is faithful, I just don’t know how… I feel like I’m staring at Goliath.
Ellen-
This is a fellow little sister, who just wanted to say: I understand! I have felt so many similar emotions:) i am also a “pastor’s wife”. One of the most encouraging things that I have heard recently is that a husband and wife are ONE. Therefore, if the Lord called your husband into this ministry, He has also called and equipped you! You can do this! When I think about women who have made a deep impact on my life, it was never because of the way they explained the greek or hebrew texts to me. I am not saying that those things aren’t important (many years of my husbands life have been devoted to their study). What I am trying to say is that women can make such a deep impact on others through being REAL AND LOVING HARD. If you press deeply into your Savior, you will have the power to LOVE others with genuine transparency. That, my sister will impact lives FOREVER.
big sister here: I’m sure you’ll be fine. I think it’s a matter of how big’s your heart, anyway… more so than how big is your greek-hebrew dictionary. and maybe even “Goliath” standing at the door just wants to be invited inside with a welcome hello,… never know, maybe so. maybe even “Goliath” just needs a big bear hug and a genuine smile. …never know, maybe so.
Ellen – Big sister here – I understand your feelings. My husband was called into ministry at 43. We moved and began ministering in a church eight years ago. I was intimidated, naive, and not “equipped” for the task. The Lord revealed to me, at that time, that I should just pray to love the people with His love. He is the One responsible to equip me for “every good work” – 2 Tim. 3:17. People just need to know that God loves them and you love them. I still don’t know how to solve everybody’s problems. I do, however, know how to pray for them and take them to the throne of grace, and I know how to listen. God has given me a great love for these people and a heart for the lost in our community. I don’t know Greek or Hebrew at all! (I know how to look it up online!) God has called you, and He is faithful to supply what you need. If you could do it on your own, He wouldn’t get the glory! Praying for you! May God bless you richly as you lay down your life for Him.
Big Sister here, To Little Sister-
Jesus is the one!
Have you met him? Do you have a relationship with him?
Do you know without a doubt if you died today, that you will spend eternity in Heaven with Jesus?
God is a jealous- God himself. Think about how God feels, when you are thinking about your friends and their relationships or marriages when you could be in fellowship with Jesus,reading scripture or praying. If you feel God is punshing you for your past sins, ask him to forgive you and and sin no more. God holds no record of our sin once he has forgiven us. Be Blessed!
Little sister here…Four weeks ago (yesterday) my parents (ages 61 and 63) went home to Jesus after succumbing to carbon monoxide poisoning while on a boat trip. I know they are in heaven and we are thankful they didn’t suffer… but I’m so overwhelmed with grief. I have a 3 year old and 4 year old and while my husband, friends and church family are amazing, my parents were our rock and I talked to them every single day and they were so much help to us. My mom was not only my mom but also my kindred spirit in the Lord. I know God is with us and we are crying out to Him through these dark days. But sometimes it just feels like too much to bare.
big sister here: oh wow,. i am so sorry for your loss. 4 weeks. wow. that’s like only 31 days ago today. wow. hmmm.. missy, do you have someone you can talk with about your grief issues? I myself need a counselor to talk mine over with. even though I know that God is with me and is holding me and loveing me, and even though I do have church friends and such, I myself need a counselor to talk my grief and my pain, over with. maybe a counselor on a good spiritually healthy path, could help you “through these dark days” too, because I know very well that “sometimes it does just feel like too much to bare”, but the Thing is: I dont have to Bare it Alone … I still have to Bare it, but I dont have to bare it Alone, and neither is this required of you,missy. God loves you so much, and God has not abandoned you. with me, I had to learn how to reach out and pour my heart out, and let it be filled. and it’s not easy, and it does hurt, and God still loves us when we’re crying, God still Loves us, he just does.
Little sister here: The bottom line? I’m tired of fending for myself. I know enough of the Word of God to know that I am not SUPPOSED to. I am supposed to trust Him. I love the Lord dearly BUT I DON’T trust Him and I HATE it. 31 years old and still struggling with this. I know He called me to ministry a LONG time ago, but how could I possibly minister to others when I cannot get my own relationship with God straight? Too many years wasted, and don’t want to waste any more. I simply don’t know where to begin…I guess that’s my bottom line.
Big sister here (I barely made it, I’ll be 41 in two days :). I am praying for you now. I am happy that you were blessed by a wonderful relationship with your parents. My dad died my senior year of high school. He was a godly man, a wonderful husband and daddy.
God has been my daddy through all of these years. I still miss my dad like crazy. Before he died, my dad told me that I would make it, but that I needed to take it one day at a time and that God would help me. He has. Through my highschool and college graduations, my wedding day, the birth of each of our five children, God has been my comfort and peace. I am praying He will be the same to you. Cling to Him!!
Big Sister here,
I want to encourage you Katie that you are not alone, God knows the deepest places of our hearts and yet his love for us never fails. Begin by talking honestly with God about how you feel about Him, wrestle like Jacob if you must. I would also recomend Bold Love, by Dan Allender. It has been helpful to me as I have been processing some childhood wounds. Praying for you.
Katie,
As I listened to your words,I heard so much of myself in them…. a year ago… when i was 31. I don’t know anything about about your story other than what you shared. But if you need to process more; feel free to email me. My email address is [email protected]. A year ago, I was the furthest down in a pit that I had ever been. I would lay in my bed and stare straight ahead. It was a very dark season and contrary to who I was. I was usually the life of the party. And God was with me and He journeyed with me outta of that pit. And today, I am free. I share because too often the enemy fills our hearts with LIES and by exposing my own journey maybe it will bring light to his schemes. I also share because during that time, a friend of mine, made reference to how she saw Christ in me. I was speechless. I remember thinking that there was no way she could have seen Jesus in me. But, really, when it came down to it… she did and that was miraculous. Jesus used me and uses all of us during all seasons of our life. I don’t’ know you, but I am learning a lot about Him and because of that, i wouldn’t be surprised if others are, in fact, seeing Christ in you.
Kimberly
Big Sister again…I ask our Lord God to send out His comfort to the many needing to feel His arms around them. If you read my earlier post on the 9th, you will see my prayer is for spiritual daughters- well, I see many of you simply asking for a friend- and that I can be. If any of you want to, feel free to message me on facebook- Heather Worrell- you’ll see my picture with these same 2 dogs! I know sometimes it just helps to talk and have someone else care and pray.
Little Sister Here (just barely),
I know I am probably too late but if any of you are reading these comments and are raising/have raised teenagers I know we could all use the encouragement! I have three. They are good kids but I am exhausted! I pray they will continue to be godly young people and truly live for Him. I struggle with a lot of fear of what can/will happen as I let go (driving, being with unfamiliar people, school situations, grades issues, etc.) Much much love and esteem and prayer to all the other siestas out there. I for one do not mind the bossy tone of this post! š Thank you, Mama Beth!
I have a 16 year old daughter (and she’s a prodigal to a certain extent) and the last year and a half has been exhausting. Very exhausting – so I know your struggle. I’ve been specifically praying for my daughter on the many issues we have – obedience and respect being the top two. This is my prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the health and safety of my family. Thank you for the love of my husband and daughter. Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you bind, gag, and render inoperative the demons of disobedience that whisper in (daughter’s full name)’s spirit and heart. I ask that you bind, gag, and render inoperative the demon of disrespect. I ask that you fill her with your light and love so that those demons have no dark place to hide. I pray that she hears your voice and her heart become pliable and filled with patience and love. She does not belong to satan, she belongs to you. She is your child. Thank you for the sacrifice of your son.” I pray this (or a version of it) most mornings and evenings. Sometimes I even kneel outside her bedroom door as I pray. When I miss praying, I can tell a decline in her attitude and we always seem to have a blow-up. I’ve found that I’ve been able to surrender the need for control I’ve had over her life that last 16 years b/c I’ve surrendered her to God. That doesn’t mean I don’t worry or make sure I know where she’s going or who she’s with, but it’s getting easier to watch her make her own choices. I encourage you to gather as many prayer warriors as you can to pray for your daughters – my prayer warriors are amazing. I would not have gotten through these very difficult situations w/ my prodigal without their help. I will pray for your daughters. Blessings.
Big Sister here……pray, pray, PRAY for your children…..but remember that they are really HIS children. We are the vessels by which they came into this earth to endure their own testing and proving, but they are HIS. YES, we must train them up in the way they should go, and God’s Word sufficiently tells us how to do that. Study the Word, live it (faith is ACTIVE), and stand firmly on that Rock. We do our part, and He is faithful to do His. No need to worry, our children (as well as we) are in HIS hands…..and He is a loving Mighty One!
Big, big sister here: Loneliness is relative. I have been married for 38 years and there are days that I too feel lonely. So being married is NOT the answer. I have 4 children and 10 grandchildren, so having children is NOT the answer. When I find myself in a lonely situation I find solace in God’s Word. I go to the bible gateway website and put in the word that I am feeling that day and God’s Word DOES set us FREE. STAND on HIS word. His word says even before we were born, ALL our days were written in HIS book;It says HIS WORD will NOT return VOID, but will go out and ACCOMPLISH ALL HE intended for it to do; His word says in Psalms 34:19: When TROUBLE comes to the RIGHEOUS God WILL RESCUE them. I know its not easy, I married the 1st boy I met because I thought he would be the solution to my dsyfunctional home life, but God is the ONLY one that has been my SOLUTION. Stand on His PROMISES, HE will NOT FAIL You. Love you LITTLE SISTERS so much, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, Going back to square 1 looking for and TRUSTING in HIS WORD is the ANSWER.
Little sister here – I’ve read these comments over three days and it has been so amazing to me! I could type my struggles, but so many of my other “lil sis” already have! Thank you for making me realize I am not the only one to feel this way!
And to my big sisters – Thank you so much! I really needed the encouragement! I needed that wisdom. I got out my journal and wrote several things down…. I will run this race, and I will keep the faith; but it sure was great to have a cheerleader over this stretch of the way! Thank you.
Little Sister here: Hopefully I’m not to late, I guess I am struggling with being alone. If God doesn’t have a husband for me I’m alright with that. But I really don’t have family and it seems like the church is so hard to be close to people..I know weird huh! I guess I just want family or people I can be really close too. I don’t know if I make sense. Anyway, thanks for reading.
Hi Joanne, I’m your big siesta Laurie!
It’s not weird that you’re having trouble connecting at church, but I have to ask what you do through church besides Sunday?
Are you in a women’s bible study? Does your church have a singles group? Where could you help out? What do you like to do? I assume you work, is there anyone at work who might want to walk at lunch or after work?
The bottom line is we are not meant to be alone, and sometimes it’s scary to put yourself out there, and you might get rejected, but it’s worth the risk.
Find something you like to do, and join a group. A book club at your library, take a sewing class if you are crafty or a cooking class. Find a hiking club or something like that. Look outside the circle you live in and explore your world. You will end up making friends with people you have things in common with !
As posted a few days, I planned to memorize Psalm 25 from The Message. At times I really enjoy the translation it provides and wanted to try something different from the NIV (my usual translation). However, I felt such reverence for the words that I felt I needed a slightly more formal translation. Therefore, I’m switching to the NET – new for me. So excited about the challenge!
Little Sister here: My husband and I need a job. My husband has a master’s degree from seminary, but hasn’t found a church that be a good fit for him to work at so he is working at a fast food restaurant and as janitor. He is ashamed and discouraged, and we do not make enough to be in our own place so we are staying with his parents in the mean time. This adds to his discouragement. We are looking for better jobs every day, but nothing has come yet. We just feel stuck. I don’t know how to help my husband in the best way. in need of encouragement…
Little Sister here…
I grew up in a world of eating disorders with a mom who was so bent on losing weight she was both anorexic/bulimic. She taught me such unhealthy eating habits. I have been trying for over a year now to truly break free from the grips of anorexia but often I just feel like the weight is too much How do you eat healthy when all you know is how many calories, how bad food is and what you are not allowed to eat? It’s a battle everyday to force myself to think through what I need in a day. I guess I just need some encouragement to keep fighting.
Totally will memorise Psalm 25 in the New Living Translation š
Little Sister here… I am strung out on lies. It’s been too long since I’ve visited this dear blog and I just finished reading Gay’s seven posts. I just cried and cried. Her modern-day Bible story is so incredibly encouraging. I then came across this post. Beth – oh how I love your fight. I will go and memorize Psalm 25. I just needed to post that l have no idea who I am supposed to be. Who does God say that I am? I am His child. Who is that supposed to be? I’ve been believing lies for so long – trying to bandaid here and there – climb out of the pit. I remember Beth you saying somewhere I think in the James study something about that we can do all the Bible studies in the world – but if we don’t apply them – or let them sink in – or as Gay talks about the ACTION – then we may stay stuck. Not sure how to actually successfully climb out of the pit of lies for good. How does it work more than a just surviving tool? How does it work for thriving and joy and bursting with His love forever and ever? I love this blog. I miss this blog. Thank you for creating this blog.
A month ago Little, but this month Big sister here:
That’s right I just turned the big four zero….and it has been emotionally wrecking havoc on me. I have been a Christian since I was a child, am a successful medical professional, triathlete, and would put myself in the moderately attractive category….BUT I am now 40 and still single and still a virgin and somehow that combination fills me with shame….not to mention fear and anger and bitterness. It seems I will never really be a “big sister” in singleness, espcially in the church, where I feel the most awkward and alone and empty and abandoned sitting in a pew. (Its ironic how a bar would be so much more accepting and comfortable – too bad they arent open on Sunday mornings.) Since I lost my mom to cancer 4 years ago, believing God’s goodness has been a struggle – and all this time spent waiting on God to provide a husband while I watch my child bearing years evaporate is …… despairing. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”
big sister here: thought I’d share with you something that happened to me. I was down in north carolina to a retreat beth was at down there, and then this 39 and under business, and 40 and up business, was pulled down there too. and at the time, I was 40 by about 5 months, and felt totally miffed about that, that the 39 and under got to go hang with beth, and the 40 and up got to go eat chocolate!… but I tell ya what… the NEXT day, it all showed itself as just this awesome experience, the ones that had hung with beth the night before Knelt in the floor, and us 40 and uppers Prayed over them, and It was just Awesome! I just Loved that, and I’m telling ya now, this is pretty cool too.
Your Little Sister here….is fighting a very hard battle with depression. There are so many lies in my head that I am accepting as truth that it’s hard to refute them. Life isn’t the best for me right now and I don’t think that it will ever get better. I feel that I have let myself, God and my loved ones down in many ways and wonder why I am even continuing to fight to live anymore. I miss God so much, but I feel that it’s too late to go and talk to Him because I’ve had many chances before and never took them. I’m living a very lukewarm life and don’t think that God would want me at this point.
Nikkia, It is never too late and I know God would like to hear from you. Give it a try before you give up. He loves all of us.
Little sis here. Been unable to get to the computer to post since there’s lot going on. I’m just overwhelmed! I will not list a bunch of ‘stuff’ but just say I’m feeling in over my head with circumstances completely outside my CONTROL. Thanks any Big Sis latecomers who see this!
Little sister here….
I struggle with my mother in law. I feel judgement and scorn in everything I do. I have fought for five years for her approval and acceptance but now I find my heart growing hard. She tries to buy my young childrens affection and talks bad about our parenting styles in front of them. I know that her love is important for my kids, and she will continue to be a part of our life, but I get a pit in my stomach every time I see her because I know I will leave the encounter feeling even more insecure and judged.
Jennifer – had to reply because I have been there (and in some ways still am). You have to “let go” (forgive – even though she does not ask for it). You are responsible to God for your actions to her, but she is responsible to God for her actions to you – and you will never see a change in her without showing God’s love. Above all, do NOT let a root of bitterness start in your heart because it will destroy you, not her.
Ask for an extra portion of God’s grace to shine out of your life everytime you know you will see her; ask the Holy Spirit to speak through you. That’s all you can do – God is responsible for the harvest, if any.
His grace will allow you to see that something way back happened in her life to make her who she is – and it is not you. So hold on to Jesus, dear one. I can’t promise it will get better – but He WILL see you through it.
Little sister here. I’ve got a feeling i’m late for this… But it always takes me time to process as well as come to a conclusion about things. Anyway there is a reason i’m writing and its harder to write now because i’m trying to avoid complaining and dwelling on it, but I do need godly counsel – maybe someone has seen it and knows it. I feel incredibly alone with it all. I’m Paula. In my family life, i’m living at home with my parents with all the siblings I grew up with. Recently all of up lost our jobs, none of us now being able to get a job (parents included), my parents have a mountain of debt with only one of us siblings without debt of our own. There are a few unforgiven and long past hurts amongst us but mostly we live a sort of seperate and forced together situation that works-ish. God is honestly the only reason we’re still in the same house because its always some or other miracle that pays the bond (God is good). We’ve been kind of living like this my whole life – where there’s bouts of good but this is honestly the worst ‘bad’ we’ve been in because at all times, one of us always had a job (a hope). This is just background to my problem although prayer on that front would be incredible and greatly appreciated. My problem is that my life has now turned into a series of groundhog days – the movie where the day doesnt change at all- except mine is nightmare-ish because I’m aware that days are passing by me. And yet I seem to be ever stuck, because even when i change something it seems to somehow blend into the next day’s repeat. So i did try and self-destruct but God lured me back because there is honestly no “me” without Him. So I’m already on that track. What I’m asking for is for insight and someone to say there is plunder because I’m honestly onlyscratching the surface of all the problems – I know the only way out is through. What I need is a light that says you will get out, covered by grace, the enemy has not won, you are not in hell, you can come out of this…
I’m a little sis needing to know if it’s still okay to be a dreamer. To expect really big things, to want to be broken & spilled out lavishly. Is that pride? Doesn’t He deserve every drop? Am I foolish to believe He wants every drop of me, too? Even if it reeks of all of my ordinary…can’t He make it extraordinary? That fire burning to teach His Word…do I pray I come to my senses & stop daydreaming or do I pray it consumes me? Just really needing some answers, because it really could be that I’m just hung up on myself. I’m that way alot. Does this sound familiar to any big sisses? Or have I lost it? I would rather die than bring a reproach to Christ or His Word, so I’m seeking some advice before I make a move.
Little sister here… 31, in dependant home owner, single under protest, and still struggling with the same addictions and negative thoughts that I did when I was 13. I know Jesus lives in me, but I seem to have no idea how to really give my life to him. I fear that without a husband or children of my own I am going to be bitter…. tired of the roller coaster!
Little Sister: The love of my life has walked out on me. And I am devastated. I’m in a season of trusting and believing God right now. Prayers are appreciated. Thanks!
Little sister – I’m technically still a little sister too but on the upper end of the “little.” I had the same exact thing happen to me 9 years ago. Loved that man like I didn’t imagine I could love another person. When I lost him I did some stupid things. Despite that, God brought me the love of my life. I am married and have three toddlers. I wouldn’t have ever picked this man for myself if I had not gone through the searing heartbreak from my first love. Hang in there, love is not done with you.
Thanks for being so transparent. Overwhelmed is the feeling most feel in ministry. Yet God has not called us to fix people but to walk with God and He will fix them. Prayer and the Word of God will soften their spirit and bring power over circumstances.
Little sis here…i was just encouraged seeing that Beth told us to get in the Word and stay there. I am so glad she mentioned that there are times when we can’t absorb it or concentrate on it but we still need to read it outloud. During those times I sometimes just say “God, I can’t even focus right now, much less understand anything I would read”…so, I just would not read it. Thank you Beth for lifting that guilt off of me and encouraging me to read it outloud. I always feel as if I have to have some big spiritual moment when I read the word. I know now there will be days when I just read the word outloud and just believe in who He says He is.
Little Sister Here– I am packing up my boy for his first overseas mission trip to the DR…he will then be home for 16 days and he leaves for college and the enemy wants me to be consumed with fear– my man has been so awesome through this– but it’s our first born–I feel like I am letting go and that joy will not be a part of the journey…….irrational….yet true.
Jen – Had to reply. Your post touched by heartstrings! I am a big sis fixing to send my third and only daughter off to college. That firstborn was soooo hard! My daughter is 7 years younger than him and still teases me to this day about crying everyday for the first few weeks he was gone! Your feelings are so normal and so natural and yes on this side of that I can promise joy will be a part of it as he sprouts wings and flies with what you and your husband have built into him. It is so amazing to see their growth and the joy every time they return. It is so hard to let go but thankfully we know the one who holds them in the palm of His hand and we can still pray and watch wheir growth! Never fear -God is faithful and this new season will be great! Praying!
Big sister here in need of advice. Struggling with a stronghold I fear will defeat me. I keep allowing myself to slide back into the pit. I know what is right but seem unable to conform my behavior. Please pray for me. I need all the help I can get. I want to succeed but maybe not enough. My weakness overwhelms me.
Big sister, Kathleen here to Beth,Amanda, Melissa, staff and ALL LITTLE SISTERS:
I have two sons 18, 15 who have played sports all their lives. Often at the end of a practice they encourage their teammates by telling them to hang in there, practice is almost over.
So from your NM Siesta, “HANG IN THERE GIRLS, PRACTICE IS ALMOST OVER!!!!”
Hebrews 10:35 -38
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, “He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith…”
Little sister, struggling believe that God can use me as His hands and feet despite my past foolishness.
Marieda ~ thank you for your comments regarding singleness, especially middle age singleness. I’m 56 years old and sometimes feel the church forgets about this group. Sometimes more focus on young single ladies. Your suggestions are good ones. Being married. Being single. Not the answer. BUT GOD ALWAYS IS.Getting out of ourselves and getting involved in something worthwhile led by God is truly the answer for real happiness. “Always go to church to worship the ONE who loves you most.” AMEN!!
Thanks again!
Big Sis here but I need prayer like a little sis. I have been struggling with agoraphobia and anxiety for all of my life due to many abusive situations and many suicides in my family. I am planning a trip away from home about 6 hours away. This is a huge stretch for me and I could really use prayer. I am also facing drama and continued abuse from my family because they know that I am trying to change. This is part of my family that I have had to ban from my life but yet here they are again trying to cause problems. I am also having issues with my son and his family not accepting my husband and I in their family. we have huge generational curses in our family of abuse, anxiety, agoraphobia, suicides, murder and depression. I need PRAYER so badly. Thanks
Little sis here…
I was diagnosed with PCOS two days ago…Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It causes me so much pain and I have the symptoms to the max. I am starting a new medication and have to cut out carbs and sugar completely. The major thing, however…its that this could very well affect my ability to have babies in the future. I am only 21, and it has always been my dream to be a wife and mother…and the possibility of not being able to have that…scares me. I started crying in the middle of my ultrasound when she told me that and it felt like a piece of me died. I know God can heal me and I know that this isn’t necessarily a death sentence to my dream of having babies…but it scares me. A lot.
Kasey,
Although I’m still a little sister, I had to reply because I, too, have PCOS. I just want you to know that PCOS is not a sentence for no biological children. I have one child, and my sister with PCOS has 3 kids! Ultimately, placing your trust and hope in the Lord to satisfy your longings is the best thing. He KNOWS you and has your best at heart.
Lil Sis Here…
Kasey, I am 27 and around your age I also found out I had PCOS. My beautiful hair started to fall out and leave huge bald spots and that is what lead me to finally get my body checked out. My first encouragement to you is TAKE THE MEDICINE! I have made the mistake of taking it and then stop taking it and back and forth too many times. Secondly, I too desire to have children more than anything else in the world. Having a baby for a completely healthy woman is a MIRACLE. So what I might have a little human complications that might even say its “impossible” to have a child? Luckily for us, we serve the Miracle Maker!! Sweet heart do not be discouraged!!! If you are meant to have your own children, no sickness, no dr, nothing can stand in the way of that miracle. Dont give up hope and dont be discouraged! I have a friend with the same issue, and she and he husband tried and tried and tried to have a child. They never complained, they never questioned WHY GOD?, they just believed. 9 years later, they had a beautiful little girl. God’s timing is more precious than ours! Be encouraged today and know you are NOT ALONE!! XOXO
Little Sisters,
I am praising God for you! And, at the same time, I am praising God for a big sister He brought into my life 20 years ago.
Now I have the privilege to be a big sister?! Well the thought makes me gush and blush all at the same time.
Know this dear ones, you are not alone. Hang on. You may not feel it or necessarily believe it, but the One with nail-scarred hands is hanging on to you.
Not long ago, I was sitting in church, seemingly vascillating back and forth in my mind from worship to worry. When suddenly, I heard that recognizable still small voice say, “Aren’t I worthy of your trust?” With that single question, I realized what I was doing, how I was deceiving myself and I thought I had matured a little…of course, I believe in Him and love HIm dearly, but I wasn’t letting go of the worry. Man, this one is so easy in the Lord, yet we make it a hard one don’t we?
May I leave you with some encouraging words from the God/man Himself. And let me say, He is worthy little sisters.
“I sought the LORD, and He answered me: He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; He saved Him out of all His troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him. Fear the LORD, you His saints, for those who fear Him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” Psalm 34: 4-10
I am praising God for you! And, I will have to tell you that I am also praising God for putting a big sister in my life.
With Joy,
Kelly Hohne
oh elana, i am so sorry for what has happened to you. i will pray!
Big Sister here… sorry a little late… hope not too late!
My heart hurts after reading many of your hurts! Just want to say, I have been there! I am so sorry… wish I could hug each and every little sister (and Big ones too) I am in my spirit!
God has graciously carried me through many of your same struggles… Being a tired overwhelmed Mom…I have 4 kids, 3 were born in 29 months (now they are 13, 17, 18 and 20) My husband was never home he was a resident so he pretty much lived in the hospital when they were little… I struggle with fear, anxiety and sometimes depression… I could go on and on… God will graciously carry you sweet girls! I promise! Praying you will trust Him to carry you!
I think one of the biggest traps we fall in as women (I know this is a huge struggle for me) is not believing how loved and cherished we are by God! We tend to hear the negative voices louder whether our own or the voices of others… goodness then add in the media, with magazine covers, Pinterest, Facebook etc… And I sometimes think as christian women we seem to add an extra measure of guilt on top of what is already there! (I’m struggling with even commenting b/c I am a horrible writer)
Girls we are His Beloved! I pray that the Holy Spirit would let that sink into the deepest places of all our hearts!
I love how eloquently Henri Nouwen says it, “We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us. Thatās the truth of our lives. Thatās the truth I want you to claim for yourself. Thatās the truth spoken by the voice that says, āYou are my Beloved.ā Listening to that voice with great inner attentiveness, I hear at my center words that say: āI have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours. You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you together in your motherās womb. I have carved you in the palms of my hands and hidden you in the shadow of my embrace. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you and wherever you rest, I will keep watch. I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench your thirst. I will not hide my face from you. You know me as your own I know you as my own. You belong to meā¦ Every time you listen to that voice that calls you the Beloved, you will discover within yourself a desire to hear that voice longer and more deeply. It is like discovering a well in the desert. Once you have touched wet ground, you want to dig deeper.” Life of the Beloved, Henri Nouwen
Praying you can crawl in His lap today and know you are His Beloved!
Little sister here – My husband and I let our house go back to the bank and we are living with my parents with our three children. we are all struggling in our own separate ways. I feel very lost and like a failure in this situation and so many others. Things are so crazy in our life and we want to be on our own again so bad. we are grateful for a place to stay but things are great. But I am afraid of failing again.