I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:
“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”
Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.
Have I been there, my beloved little sister?
Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And part of me survived. And part of me died.
And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.
And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.
I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.
YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.
I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”
Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:Â encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.
Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:
If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”
If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”
Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)
Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.
Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.
Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.
One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.
Psalm 25.
I mean it.
I’m going to be asking you about it.
OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.
Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.
I love you.
Your little sister here..feels so overwhelmed at being a mom to 7,6 and 3 year old GIRLS- living overseas away from family/friends…doing work that the enemy doesn’t want us doing. I’m weary and worried that my girls need a better mother. I’m out of patience and kindness it seems. I hate using my “clenched teeth sweet voice” and I seem to be using it more and more often. We need God to come through in two areas: financially and housing. We need your prayers. Thank you.
Charity! I know this life!!!! We are a missionary family and we homeschool. I went through a terrible season for almost two years. I think I listened and believed every ugly word that Satan whispered in my ear. I believed I was a bad mother, a horrible wife and just not worthy of doing Gods work in Mexico. Lies! All lies!!!! I will be praying for you that you cling to Him like you have never clung to Him before and that when you hear any voice that sounds like doubt that you scream out “I belong to Jesus!” (hee hee…that’s what I did!) I will be praying for sweet hugs from the Father. Set a notebook or notepad somewhere where you always walk by it and make small scribbles on blessings you see, it could be really small things like you and your children had a fun hour of playing….there were no arguments for 30 whole minutes….or you remembered that Jesus loves you the entire morning. Notice God’s creation everywhere….I even wrote down how well the ants in my kitchen work together. This really worked/works for me because I have a hard time losing my joy….my joy comes from only one place…the Lord…but when you are on the front lines, the enemies voice is super loud! I get this! I love you and I’m praying for you!!!!!!
your big sister here…kimberley, thank you for these sweet encouraging words to charity! she is a personal sister-friend to me but i’m not on the front lines like you girls are & i am just smart enough to know that IT’s DIFFERENT. such good advice you gave!
may i mention something i sense here? your lives are different from missionaries in times past b/c of the internet. never forget that people can portray their lives any way on here & of course we want others to see the best side. 🙂 don’t fall into the trap of comparing your life to what you see online. be it facebook, twitter, blogs or pinterest, it’s usually not the WHOLE life you see.
there is more to life than clean baseboards & you girls are in the thick of it!
i’m praying for both of you as you love your husbands & children in the midst of ministry~ much love~ tracey
Your little sister here:
My biggest challenges right now– the ability to overcome shame, self-destructive habits, and self-loathing that I’ve carried (almost literally) my whole entire life. It affects my ability to be productive and finish what I’ve started.
PS–I will start memorizing Ps. 25!
Little Sister here- almost a big-un cause I’m 37 and honestly feel I should be on the other side of this encouraging,but I’m not going to pass up the free prayers and encouragement. Right now I need prayer for strength, wisdom, and courage to continue on the path of communal living that God has called me and my family to. We live on 5 acres and have been praying for the financial means to provide housing for others God has answered and now my husband and I are getting attacked physically. His back, my side. Physical things that I know God can heal. So I ask for healing as well.
Noel,
Big sister here….. Praying for you and your husband’s healing also the Spirit to comfort you through the Word. Read Psalm 25 like Mamma Beth said !
Your little sister here (in her neck of the woods in South Carolina):
I could truly benefit from some encouragement in my marriage. Our relationship struggles. We are in a good season today. Mainly because he just returned from church camp with my step-son and his time there seemed to reignite his passion for Jesus. But through my quiet time and devotion while he was away, it was revealed to me that our marriage struggles because he is not the spiritual head of our house, as God so intended for him to be. Therefore, on top of all the laundry and bottles and chores and cleaning, I am shouldering the burden of raising the kids in church and praying out loud with them and for them.
I am fervently praying for my husband to rise up and be the spiritual leader. And perhaps, asking that you could pray to?!
Big sister here to all those little sisters who feel the vacumn of spiritual leadership in your home. I can say from experience that the worst thing you can try to do is be your husband’s Holy Spirit. It will truly backfire on you. Instead, be the godly mom, encourage your husband, but don’t nag. Be quiet when you want to shout and watch how over time, God will begin to shine In your husband In ways you never thought possible. I think sometimes, we are so impatient that we step in and rob our husbands of the joy of having their own relationship with Christ. They are guys and relate differently to Him, but God made them that way and can still use them so don’t give up. I will ever forget the first chapter of the book on praying for your husband which states don’t ask God to change your husband, ask God to change you! Praying for you sweet little sisters who are struggling with this issue!
Amen Cathy! I remember trying to be my husband’s Holy Spirit – got me NOWHERE except frustrated and hurt – and it’s only been in the last 4-5 that I’ve truly seen him step up to the spiritual head role in our home – we’ve been married 31 years. But I’m SO thankful to the Lord – because I now see some of the reasons behind the long journey for him AND for me. Too many times, I got in the way! Not until I prayed for God to CHANGE ME; not him (and meant it), did I begin to see true change. Praying for you little sister Jessica – hang in there God is working on your man, so you just love and pray for him – he needs your prayers and your encouragement.
I don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feathers here, but I believe that the burden of spiritual leadership does not fall on the husband alone, but is something that husband and wife are to bear together. I think that women can experience freedom here, to use their gifts both to lead and to support their husband’s leadership in the home.
If you read Proverbs 31, you find a very strong woman, in whose mouth is faithful instruction (vs 26). I think it is a Christian cultural assumption that men (alone) are to be the spiritual leader in the home, but that concept is really not what Scripture teaches.
How do you define “spiritual leadership” anyway? Some people say that spiritual leadership amounts to making decisions for the whole family or having the “final say” – even that concept is not found in Scripture. Or perhaps taking on the responsibility to teach the children the ways of the Lord – again, not found in Scripture or in the least counter balanced with Prov 31:26 mentioned above. There is grace here, because there are differences of opinion, but this is just my two cents.
All I am saying is that there is grace – for you to lead, for the husband to lead, for men and women to use their gifts in whatever capacity they can in the home. God gifts as he wishes, not as we wish, so there is grace.
Be an example of leadership, and perhaps your husband will either learn (if it does not come naturally) or chip in in whatever way he can so that your children are brought up in the Lord.
Jessica,
A big SC sister is praying for you and your husband. You need to just cry out to God about how you are feeling and continue to shine your light for your family. Give your husband and his spiritual growth over to God. He is the one who is doing a work in your husband. Trust Him! I wanted my husband to have the faith I did and be the spiritual leader in my family. As another has said you have to let go and let God. God has done a mighty work in him. Not on my timetable but in His. Who am I to tell Him it should have been sooner! He loves going on mission trips and even organizes them. Let go of the resentment as satan uses that to separate us from our loved ones and God. Just love your husband unconditionally as he is and as God loves you. Your example of Christian love can draw him closer to God. Just be patient and trust and wait on God!
Your little sister here: I want to know if I will ever heal from rape and childhood abuse. Will I ever FEEL (vs. just know in my head) the truths God says about me vs. the lies embedded in me from an early age.
RH- Yes God can and will heal you!!!! I have been there and witnessed God’s healing power! He we give you a new heart better then the one that was broken from your abuse! I would encourage you to find a sexual abuse healing group. You aren’t alone! I am praying that God will bring someone into your life to help lead you on your healing journey.
May the words of Isaiah 61:1-3 become true in your heart and your mind. May Gods truth be louder than the lies!
1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn;
3 to grant to those who mourn in Zion- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.
Isaiah 61:1-3
Thanks big sis! I am seeing a wonderful Christian counselor who is leading me on the journey of healing…praise God! God is doing a good work in me, but sometimes I just get weary along this journey! I’ve recently memorized the scripture you left me. Love His timing! Thank you for the encouragement!
Praise the Lord! I know that it can be so tough but know that God is going before you to shine light in those dark places! Just remember that He will finish the good work He has started in you! 🙂
Your little sister here my husbands sisters aren’t Christians. I love them so much but they are constantly lying and I guess just being bullies. They’ve always been this way, I’ve been married for 13 years, but now they’ve started doing it to my kids. For example telling them they are fat, purposely missing their birthday parties, and yelling at them for no reason. My husband and I are at a loss of what we should do. If we say anything to them they are instantly the victim. What makes it worse is that we live 5 minutes from each of them, we work together, and my husband’s parents refuse to do or say anything about it. The only thing that’s left to do is stop going to holidays and birthday parties. Oh and we are being called into the mission field so we are going to be leaving to go overseas and I dont want to leave things like this.
Big sister here…you may have to remove your children from seeing these relatives. You are responsible to protect your children. These bullies may not like it but you are not responsible for the consequences for their actions. They are big enough to know what they are doing it wrong and if they will not stop, then you have to protect your children. Do not feel bad when you remove your children from a situation where they are being treated wrongly.
Praying for the Little Sisters under attack. Cling to God and lean into His Word. Stand up to the enemy and rebuke his ways. You are a daughter of our beloved King and He will hold you in the palm of His hand to protect you. Be strong and diligent.
Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
I wrote the following, and I hope it encourages all under fire. I know fire, its burn, its stench, its pain. I also know what rises out of the ashes. Keep the faith my younger friends. I promise that one day you will look back and be grateful for this fire. It is going to change you into the you He made you to be.
http://www2.timesdispatch.com/lifestyles/2012/jun/16/tdmet01-faith-and-values-be-thankful-for-all-of-li-ar-1991646/
Little Sister Here: I am really struggling at work. I am in full-time women’s ministry & counsel/teach women in a residential setting who are coming out of the clutches of addiction & destructive living. About 10 years ago God graciously lifted me out of my own slimy pit. During that time I fell in love with God’s Word (My big-sister Beth was a HUGE part of that) and I ended up graduating from seminary & have been ministering at my current job ever since. I feel God is using me in this position. BUT…a few weeks ago, I had a situation where I found out my boss was doing a very dishonest thing & it was detrimental to our clients. Myself and several other staff members came forward and brought it to her bosses attention. I won’t go into specifics but rest assured it was a fireable offense & is still going on. Upper managment brought it to her attention but did nothing about it. Now our boss knows we told & our situation at work is nearly unbearable and the offense is still going on. I feel God is using me to minister to our clients in need, but how can I continue to work for a ministry that doesn’t put a high premium on honesty and dealing with blatant sin? The enemy has had a blast with this and even has me questioning whether I should get out of full-time ministry. On one hand I can’t see how God can bless a ministry that allows something like this to continue. On the other hand, I know God has used me here. I am so unsure how to proceed with this and am feeling very discouraged.
Susan,
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. First of all, thank you for your ministry to people in need. My encouragement to you is PRAYER. If this ministry has a board of directors, or something of that sort, you and other concerned staff may need to approach them about this. There’s nothing that will kill a ministry quicker than the loss of its integrity, so you are right to be concerned In all of this, keep an attitude of prayer, humility, and love. May the Lord give you His wisdom. Be encouraged, the Lord is in control and has you in the palm of His hand.
Your little sister here:
I just have no desire to get in the Word, to go to church to worship, to fellowship, to pray. And, honestly, no desire to FEEL Him or BELIEVE Him.
And while I know these “undesires” are from the blasted, wicked Satan, my only response is “eh, who cares.” It’s all kind of a dead feeling that I don’t like, but I also don’t try to change…
PS: Beth, your post alone was encouragement….
HANG ON! Don’t give in to the devil over it. God will bring you back. Examine yourself as to “why” you “eh, who cares.” I had a year like this last year and it felt awful. I never stopped believing in God but I KNOW that I was struggling that believing God could save something that was disintegrating. I just kept praying. I felt hopeless for the loss. I kept praying. I knew the problem was within me but I also knew that God is faithful, stronger than me and had a plan. Keep praying for God to show you what the REAL problem is and ask for an open heart to receive the truth. He loves You even when you “don’t care.” There will be restoration to your soul.
A little sister here who has been there. I found that if I was just obedient, whether I felt that “desire” to be in the Word or not, the Lord will step in and increase your faith and desire to be in the Word. Just start, be obedient. Read in the Word, memorize a few verses and start saying them out loud. God will set you on fire for it. Just do it! Much love, and praying for you!
Your little sister here:
My 7.5 yr marriage is in shambles. I have felt emotionally and spiritually disconnected from my husband for almost 2 yrs. I don’t “feel” love for him anymore and don’t value him. We’ve been to several counselors, read books, and prayed our guts out. Some days we are too tired to continue battling, but we do on account of the promise we made to God and our two little girls’ well being.
Can we survive this? How long will it take? Will we ever thrive again?
Been there and done that. In March we celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary. Don’t go with your feelings (your heart). Jeremiah 17:9…The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?. You just keep praying and remember it is not all about how you feel. With faith in God things really do get better.
Kelly,
You can survive this. I felt the same way, also 7 years into our marriage, and we survived. There were days when I thought I wanted to scream with frustration, but we have been married 28 years now. Jan is right – although the world screams at you to “follow your heart”, in this case, your heart will deceive you.
You can get through this dry season, and you and your girls will be thankful when it is past that you held on.
By continuing to battle you are honoring your commitment to your marriage, and God will honor that. Find the things that are good, even though the love is not there right now. Hold onto those good things and pray pray pray. I’ll be praying for you too.
Hugs,
Adrienne
Little sister here:
This past semester of school I really struggled with my relationship with God. There are many areas of my life that I have been praying for a long time. I understand that God’s timing is not our own, but waiting is so hard!!! I’ve noticed all of the waiting has made doubt God, become bitter and frustrated with Him. Big sisters what do you do when you have been waiting a long time for God to answer a prayer? What do you keep from getting discouraged and frustrated while you wait?
You have no idea how much I needed this today(but God did!!). A “little sister” confided in me that she has been having drinks with co-workers. This is totally against what she believes but feels completely isolated by all of her friends who are in relationships. She feels like people who drink are the only ones who want to hang out with her. Thank you for sharing this today!!!
We need each other to fight the good fight. Recently comforted a friend about her kids which is an area we all worry about as moms. The fact is that God loves our kids more than we do. Rest in that comfort. Our job is to love and pray for our kids.
Yikes! I’m first?! I don’t really want to be first, but here it goes. (Maybe some one will post before me) 🙂
I have 5 very small children (my sweet hubby is home today…the only way I’m even able to respond to this right now). I am living my ‘dream job.’ However, a lot of my joy is being stolen. I wake up each day feeling so blessed & joyful to have these precious little ones, and I vow that today I’m keeping my joy! But then once the kids wake up…life & joy are sucked out. The fighting, disobedience, squeals, messes – you get the picture… you’ve been there 🙂 I so want to approach each day with joy and I feel like I do, but then, it’s just gone. And I feel like I’m running on fumes by 9:30 – IN THE MORNING!! I feel like I read all the time ‘the days are long, the years are short’ and ‘this time flies by…cherish your children.’ And I get that. We do have sweet moments, but a lot of it is just very hard work. I find myself yelling and just being ugly when I am not a ‘yelling’ type of person – well, I used to not be a yelling type of person. 🙂 How do I conquer this? How do I find joy and pass it along to my kids without barking at them all day? Its just yucky! I just don’t want to ruin my children. I constantly hear whispers from the enemy that I am ruining them. I’m no example to them. I’m hoping to finally get back into a Bible study this fall – I’m hoping accountability will help?? Help me big sisters…I know I’m not the only one in this situation.
from Big sister….i have been married 31 years and have 2 grown children and a sweet wonderful daughter in law. I have been where you are, and right now i am where you are. We moved temporarily back in with my daughter and her 4 year old. So i am taking care of her and giving up all my free time, it was a big adjustment. And then i started reading Kay Warrens book on finding joy, and its a attitude and boy that helped a lot. Try to focus on the JOY in your life and remember you will survive it is hard but you can do it. God love you and bless you
Big sister here….god is faithful!
I’m a little sister. I need help drawing the line in my life on what I should or should not allow my children to participate in. I am just exhausted trying to keep up with their schedules. I just feel like Satan works to keep me busy. I have a 15, 12 and 1 year old.
Dear Anne-Marie,
I have been there! I have four-now ages 14-21. What we did when they were all home was limit each child to one activity at a time. I also had to come to a compromise about what I could attend. I couldn’t be at everyone’s ball games at the same time. I chose to be at the “home” games and if there were two “home” games the same day I went to the first half of one and the second half of the other. Just recognizing you need balance is a huge step! Hang in there–You can do this!
Praying,
Cindy
Your little sister here is so discouraged in her marriage. Close to 10 years and I am fighting on behalf of my husband to become free from a life of poor self-esteem, deceit, abuse of meds and alcohol, unforgiveness, bitterness and anger. At times it feels as if there is no hope and I’m not sure how long I can fight. It is extremely hard to raise little ones in the midst of this battle. And I am in the word and warfare prayer every single morning.
Your big sister here: Cling to the Word and press into God during these tough times. These verses have helped me: “The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14. And: “This is my command–be strong and corageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your god is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9.
Growing up, I was always a happy, bubbly child. Always eager for laughter and silliness, but things weren’t so simple during my high school years. I struggled with severe anxiety on a daily basis (I became joke material to my “friends” because I missed so much school at one point during my junior year), but even in the midst of that, I KNEW that He had a plan for the struggle, that He had a plan for me. I sometimes temporarily wavered on that, but I never doubted for a moment that God would leave me where I was. Well now, I’m 21 years old and a junior in college and I still struggle with anxiety, it’s just about different stuff now. Lately, I’ve really been struggling with exactly where God wants me at this point in my life, to the point where I just feel like a big bundle of nerves and questions most of the time. My soul longs to be content to just wait and see, but that anxious and impatient, human nature part of me (man, is it bossy!) wants so badly to just KNOW where He wants me. I strive to be pure in heart, body, and spirit; not for my parents sake, not for my future husband’s sake, but for the soul fact that I want to glorify God more than anything on this Earth; through my actions, thoughts, and deeds. I know God wants me to enjoy myself right where I’m planted at the moment, but I find myself trying to scratch at the surface of whatever my future holds. So eager to know and yet, TERRIFIED to know at the same time. Does that make sense? I fully believe He knows EXACTLY what He’s doing, it’s just a matter of me being willing to let Him fully take over. I’m the youngest child and the only girl, so I have a tendency to get a little bossy and (uh-oh, here’s that word again!), impatient. Though I have been through a lot emotionally these past few years, I have never stopped believing that He is for me. There have been many times where I’ve literally gotten down on my hands and knees and just sobbed that the God who paints the sky every night, is the same One who looks at me and says, “I love you, I love you, I love you”. Even in the midst of my anxiety and self-doubt, He still accepts me? There are no words. Anyway, I guess what I’m really saying is that at this point, I just want to be at peace with where He has me and um, let’s face it….I am in dire need of some patience and understanding!;) Thank you for any and all support during this season of searching, your prayers and insight are greatly appreciated:)
Love your (little) sister in Christ,
Mary Elizabeth
Dear ME … big sister here. Don’t look at it as trying to be patient, but as trusting your Savior Jesus is who He says He is.
This acronymn for TRUST really helped me:
*To
*Rely/Rest
*Upon the
*Savior’s
*Timing
You will be blessed when you don’t try to rush the blessing. His timing is perfect (2 Peter 3:9). Praying for you, sweet lil’ sis’.
Your little sister here: I’m so worn down. When it comes to stress, chaos, conflict and responsibility, I am completely at my saturation point. I’m exhausted from carrying everyone else in my life. I love my family. I love my friends. But I need a moment to just breathe.
Thank you for remembering us, Beth, and for letting us know that our big sisters have been here.
Dear AnnaRuth,
I hear your exhaustion! Dear little sis you can’t carry everyone. You’ve got to set some boundaries for what you can do. Have a heart to heart with God and seek what He wants you to be a part of. Other’s may not even realize how much they are leaning on you until you step back a little.
Praying,
Cindy
Oh thank you, thank you…and thank Jesus for this post… I am not alone… You are all not alone… We have been in the adoption process for a couple years and now we just got 2 sweet, sweet foster children. I was feeling the Lord tell me that it’s time to have biological children now and that He wants me to leave that up to Him and not use protection w my husband anymore. So I surprised my husband by doing that w him the other night. We had a perfect 4th of July w the kids and I was loving life. The next day I had that feeling…like something wasn’t quite right. I prayed…and the Lord told me to ask my husband how he’s been doing in the struggles that men face… w porn. He said he had just fallen. I looked at his phone…found out it was the night after we had done it. I just don’t understand. I am so crushed. I forgave him easily the last time. The enemy has done nothing but attack our family ever since we got these children. But GOD – JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF – is going to win this one, ladies! Pray for me…I don’t know how to make love with my husband anymore… Pray for my husband… Pray the enemy would GO AWAY and leave my wonderful, beautiful family alone!
Big sister here…. You are not alone, God used a Christian book to help me see the godly picture He has for this area of marriage. I cannot say enough about this book. It is a must read for engaged couples, wish I had read it before. ” When Two Become One” by Christopher & Rachel McCluskey.
Try faithfulandtrueministries.com and the resources they have. Was very helpful to me.
Your little sister here. I was involved in a christian community, that involved leading teens to Christ, for the past few years in college. I think I fell into into really quickly that I didn’t know what I was doing or if I was supposed to do it at that point in my life. I left the community about 8 months ago and ever since, God has just felt so distant to me. I have a huge desire to be like you, big sisters, and give EVERYTHING to HIM but there is something that is holding me back and I won’t. I feel very jaded, especially towards the community I was involved with, and I don’t know why. I also graduated college in May so not only have I been feeling lost before I graduated, but I feel a THOUSAND times more lost and jaded now that I have graduated and am trying to make it in the world. ADVICE PLEASE!
Your little sister here….
I could use some encouragement in riasing two preteen boys in a perverse and pornographic culture! Short of sticking them in a bubble, how do I guard their hearts and teach them to guard their eyes and minds from the sickness and depravity of this dark world? I know prayer is top and their God-loving Dad’s influence is important….and I am thankful for that. But I fear for their purity and future all the time! I know “boy mamas” can relate!
Mariel
growingodliness.com
Little Sisters, Beth is absolutely right. Get into the Word. It will be your life. Satan put me through a season on sifting that without God’s words I would have been lost. Please be humble towards accountability and know that Satan is the Father of lies. Be honest about your struggles. Sharing them with someone almost always losens Satan grip on it. He loves secrets. Humility and Honesty is crucial.
Little Sister here—I’m pregnant with my 4th baby. (huuuuuuge surprise baby this was for us). My youngest right now is still a baby. I’m overwhelmed and if being completely honest still in shock we are pregnant again. We love this baby and believe and trust God’s plan for our family, but I’m exhausted and don’t know how I’m going to do it. We are far from family help. Praying I survive–praying against post partum depression (I struggled after my 3rd). Praying for peace.
Big sister here: My third child came when I was 40 and was 10 years younger than my second child. We had NO money. I said if God was going to give us another baby, he would have to give the diapers and formula as well. My husband soon after got a new job with double the pay. The kids and I resented the interference of another child. I had to kneel by his bed and pray for God to help me love him. (A concept I learned from Momma Beth “if it is in God’s will, pray for it”). I now adore him. He is very engaging and really keeps our older kids in touch with us. Depression..had it all my life and it got worse after his birth, but it made me find a great psychiatrist who is successfully treating me unlike the OB-GYN. Also found God faithful in ways I never would have before.
This little sister here:
has been lambasted with assaults in my mind over another person. I cannot tell you how out of nowhere this has come. I am not unhappy in my marriage; I love my man so much! I would never want to go anywhere with this. And I cannot for the life of me tell you how awful I feel. Never in my life have I felt on the literal edge of destruction, like Satan himself was pushing me closer and closer to the abyss. I have had several nights when I felt suffocated and slept with my Bible such to try to have some protection.
I have shared with my husband my struggles…and he is gracious and kind, praying for me. I have found some relief by asking my sisters to pray, praying the Word out loud myself. But it is still a battle!!!!!!!!!
I am so very weary from fighting it. This is perhaps my biggest fear: That I will give up. I see so many sisters falling to immorality that the devil whispers in my ear, “It’s no big deal…they are only thoughts.”
Also, I have 4 kids (8 years old and under.) Three of them are homeschooled and we are in a season where everyone is fighting…it is so taxing and draining. My word, CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!!! I am exhausted from trying to be a good parent…forget good teacher or Susie Homemaker. Mercy. I honestly feel like my mind will go absolutely CRAZY and I will lose any sense of reality. {sigh}
Thank you Big Sisters, for any encouragement you can bring. I love you, and I absolutely love Jesus. Printing Psalm 25 out now!
rachel
Rachel – you already know I love you. But I’m not sure you know how much I love you. I can totally see why the enemy is attacking you because you are a threat to him. Please add my name to the list of Sisters praying for you. It is NOT AN OPTION for you to give in to the enemy. He is full of lies and a great tempter, but Always remember that He who is in YOU is GREATER than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Look at Jeremiah 17:9 and read it as often as you can.
You have my phone number. Call or text whenever you need to. I am for you but more importantly, God is for you.
I love you, Rachel, and I can completely understand your struggle. Continue you to communicate with your husband, pray, and stay in the Wird. You’re doing exactly what God desires of you. The enemy is in a lose-lose situation here and he knows it. Stand firm and know that your sisters are standing with you. You, beloved girl, are a treasure. These challenging days of parenthood won’t last forever, either. Hold on. xo
FLEE from it!! Run far away. Distance yourself as much as possible. Don’t believe Satan’s lies. God LOVES your marriage!!
Little Sister here. I’m just tired. I have a three year old special needs son that I stay home with. And between caring for him, running errands, housework, and cooking dinner, I’m just worn out. He requires a lot and can’t be out in the heat, so we’re homebound a lot in the summers. I think being in the house so much just burns my energy somehow. Not sure. Anyway, I do take time to be in the Word every day, have scriptures written all over my mirrors, and I know that HE IS MY PORTION AND STRENGTH. But I wish the Bible was caffeinated sometimes. 🙂 Weary body, but not a weary soul. Praise God!
Big Sis here Patrice….
I will pray for you dear one! I also have a special needs son (now 10) and was pretty much house-bound at age 3 too. It is exhausting in a way that not many understand.
Know this friend, you have God’s attention. Even though you may not be out and about and isolated with this little one, the Lord is watching you. HE knows what your days are like, the fears, hurts, frustrations, and pain that is unique to your situation. He is SO PLEASED WITH YOU. You truly lay down your life when you have a special needs child, and the Lord will honor your sacrifice for this sweet little boy.
I thought I would always be alone and isolated, but I am not. My struggles with my son have become my ministry and God will be more faithful and good to you in this situation then you can fathom.
Hang tight, do not grow weary in raising this special one. You will reap a GREAT HARVEST in his life if you perserve. It is a high calling you have received….
Bless you!
Your Big Sister here: Without going into details, here is a snippet of an email I just wrote to a dear friend in Christ (talk about Divine timing!):
That said, [my feelings about being in this situation] are feelings only and I know that “the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure” and that only God understands it. (Jer 17:9) I also know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Rom 8:28) I have to believe these things, [“Little Sister” in place of my friend’s name], or I would drive myself and others crazy with negativity. Sometimes it’s all I can do to fight against negative thoughts and other times it’s not difficult at all.
I think my “story” is a great testament to how God protected me and took care of my my entire life, Since He “created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Ps 139:13) I feel like it is my privilege to tell this story in an effort to glorify God. He performed this miraculous work and it would be wrong for me to “hide my light under a bushel.” (Matt 5:14-16)
End of snippet, but the email I sent my friend went on. I hope this is helpful to a Little Sister in Christ. I’m 52 years old and have lived long enough and seen enough to be able to say – with confidence – that if one is grounded in Scripture and truly loving the Lord and seeking above all else to be faithful to Him, everything will be OK. Maybe not OK in the way we would have wanted things, but OK nonetheless because our great and loving Father really does know what’s best.
Carry on . . .
Big Sister here: I am 42, just over that boundary of little sister to big sister and life is HARD, but God is GREAT! The Holy Spirit and the Word keeps us grounded when everything gets “out of whack.” When we went to behave in the flesh, The Word reminds us of Jesus. When we want to give up, The Word reminds us of Jesus. The Lord is our comfort, our shelter, our rescuer. Cling to HIM through it all. When we are going “through the thing” we have no idea how we will make it. When we look back with perspective, we say, “It could have been worse, Praise God.” One day you will look back and say that.
P.S. I also need encouragement because my self-esteem is shot. I know that I am a pretty girl…that I am a daughter of God…and that I am growing in Him everyday and that I have my own sin that I lay before God’s feet everyday and He has freed me from all habitual sins, Praise the Lord! But I am struggling with ever feeling pretty to my husband again. Thank you big sisters. Oh and you know there’s so much more that goes along with all this… Now I don’t know if I want to be pregnant (I’m not pregnant, but just saying..we were supposed to start trying and now I don’t know if I want to). It disgusts me.
I am a little sister too but I’ve been through this and will be praying! I know what it’s like to be in that deep dark place where you feel alone and completely inadequate. Jesus really is the answer. He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds (ps. 147:3) I still struggle with it occasionally years later but Jesus will free you from all the lies the enemy will be whispering to you. Do Beth’s breaking free study! I will be praying for y’all! Another verse that’s really helped is Isa. 61:10. We are beautiful to Him because of Him! Praying….
This is a huge idea. I wonder why we shy away from this and it’s not natural for us you get woman to open up to the older sisters. Encouraged by this and will be intentional about this today.
Your little sister here:
I thank you so very much for this blog post! And thank you to every Big Sister who will contribute! (And for the record I already printed out Psalm 25 and stuck it to my wall at work… I need it desperately).
So bottom line, how do we make the big decisions in life according to God’s will, but without the anxiety of “getting it right” that’s so ignorant of God’s grace? Example, what career/ministry do we pursue? Who do we marry? I know about seeking wise counsel, scouring the Scriptures, asking for wisdom. I’ve read (probably far too many) books, articles, etc. on discerning the will of God, but I never feel like my question is answered. I approach God with questions like, “Should I marry _____?” And when I don’t feel like I get a clear yes or no (and let’s be real, I never do; or if I do sense an answer it’s never yes, no matter the question; what’s that called, fear?) I start feeling like maybe I don’t even know God. Maybe I’m not “chosen.” After all, the Word says his sheep know his voice.
I am filled with so much doubt, it’s sick. And I have this (probably wrong) sense that any major decision I make is inherently not God’s will… because it was my decision. Oh, what is wrong with me?
Please Big Sisters, help me here. I feel like I’m drowning and I don’t want to go down.
I am a little sister too….when I read your post something that immediately popped into my head was a book I read called Ten Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe. One “dumb” thing is that God has a blueprint for our lives…which implies that we have to figure out every tiny detail to get God’s plan right. Rather, perhaps God instead has a roadmap for our lives. We have some freedom and grace to make choices but can still stay within the parameters of his plan. So many times, we just have to do the things you mentioned and then just make the best decision we can at that time. Bless you!
Sweet little sister –
I have struggled with this, too! I finally came to realize that since God is really in charge of EVERYTHING and He is a LOVING father, if I make a decision that is wrong (outside of His will), He will lovingly show me this, and give me the opportunity to correct it! He does not have a harsh and critical spirit, and He is FOR us, not against us! He WANTS us to succeed in following His will for us. Trust that He loves you and go forward!! God Bless you, honey – I know that He loves YOU!
Err.. forgot to say that I am a Big Sister! 🙂
Your big sister here….says to do like it says in Psalms, pour out your complaints to God, get down on your knees or on your face and let it all out! Your hurt, your fears, your troubles….along with all the tears. Then wait for the peace of God to fill you. Write out Bible verses on 3×5 cards, personalized with your name or your loved ones’ names. Call out these verses over and over. (in the car by yourself is a good time to really let it all out!) Write in your journal so you can read how God worked in these times the next time Satan attacks you. And never forget you are not alone! God is with you and many others have been in your shoes. It does get better even if it seems like it never will.
Your big sister wants you to know that you are not the only one Satan goes after and you are not alone.
2 Corinthians 2:14 says “But thanks be to God who always leads in triumph in Christ,” God is never going to leave you alone and He is leading you in triumph of victory over that liar. I encourge you today to know that you are loved beyond words by God and by us older girls. Even if we have never met face to face we are still sisters in Christ and we have been there and lived through it and by God’s grace so will you.
Did my first post before “p.s.” go through..?
Yes it did! I replied to it!
Your little sister here: I had my fourth child 6 months ago and I am in the depths of postpartum depression. I have days where I feel fine and I think that I am coming out of it only to feel the next day like a boulder is resting on my shoulders and the last thing I want to do is my job (I am a stay at home mom). But I know they need me so I press on the best I can. This week it has gotten worse, like I-am-not-sure-how-my-marriage-will-survive worse. The only thing that keeps me going is that I know, deep, deep in my heart, that that is NOT what God wants. Thank you for this community.
Dear precious Kim,
I too experienced post-partum depression after my 2nd child. I made the mistake of trying to handle it all on my own. I want to encourage you to ask for help. I also didn’t want to be on medication, but my best friend wisely said to me, “What would you do if your arm was broken? You’d go get it fixed!” I only had to be on medicine for a short time. I also chose to see a nutritionist and she helped me immensely. I just want to encourage you to ask for the help you need! Maybe you could find a friend that would be willing to help with the housework or watch the kids so you can take a nap! You just have to be willing to ask!
Janifer…Thank you so much. It is so hard to ask for help. But that may be just what I need!
By any chance, are you in Maryland? If you are, I would love to help you!
Your little sister here: is so overwhelmed by constantly being “beaten down” by the Enemy I can’t see straight. My little family has been beaten down time and time again over the last year, and I’m usually the joy-filled, faith-filled one — I’m growing weary “waiting for the rain” (I LOVED your James study, Mrs. Beth!). Then just this morning I asked the Lord to help me know who else to reach out to for help and encouragement, and I never imagined He would bring me this!! AMEN for that!! Thank you all so much for thinking of us little sisters!!
Hannah’s Prayer…..http://youtu.be/ftmAwbAzPDQ BE ENCOURAGED!!! : ) Love me some Hannah!!
Kimberly, thank you so much for sending me over to watch precious little Hannah declare boldly the truths of our Lord!! LOVE it, and saved it to my favorites for constant reference. Thank you so very much for taking the time to encourage me — may our Lord refresh you as you’ve taken the time to refresh me.
Your little sister here has been under an attack for the past four years. I am just now beginning to feel like I may come out on the other side of this. It began with a car accident that totaled my car, then health issues that had my family doctor believing I had leukemia. I was then sent from one physician to another with no answers and no conclusion as to why my white blood cell count is so elevated and antibiotics make it go up instead of down. I was buried underneath a mountain of medical bills although I have health insurance. God called me to leave my church I grew up in, my home, my past, my family (I am not married yet and have no children) everything and everyone I had known to walk in a new beginning. God placed me in a new church and after a while I led Breaking Free where I met a host of wonderful, Godly women. One of them became my big sister or like a mother to me. A faithful prayer partner who stands in agreement Victory is mine. I trust God with my health and everything else I have no matter what doctors say or where they send me from here. I really believe this is an attack from the enemy on my health, my finances, my very life and many aspects that have been affected.
Big sister here. I could have written most of your life story. I too had a car accident which resulted in health issues I also developed a very low white blood count with to this day no explanation. By saying this I want you to know that I have been there. In the beginning of that journey I had days that I felt defeated but my victory in this situation came when the Lord showed me I can be thankful in everything. I found that when I felt/feel my worst I lean into Christ and even on the days my body says one thing negative (the enemy’s weapon) I pray, seek God, grow closer to him. So for me I try and remember that no matter how I feel I can use the negative for positive. God wins!
Much Love in Christ.
I am so glad you posted and I found this… Thank you soooooo much! God has used you in a way I never expected was possible.
34 year old little sister. Mother of 4 ages 7 and under. I see my oldest already easily influenced by the world and trying to fit in. Will my prayers for my kids truly be enough? It’s hard to not go into control mode. Thank you!
Dear Melissa,
My oldest two children are young adults now. This is just my opinion. God is enough, not prayers alone. The example you live, the boundaries you set, the opportunities you provide, the testimonies you share, the communication you keep, all go into it. I’m sure you are probably doing these already. Keep praying and living with God before them. He is faithful!
Praying,
Cindy
Cindy,
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you responding.
Your big sister here:
Okay, little sisters, I am in a ROUGH season myself right now and experiencing attack like never before. The Lord just prompted me yesterday (not even kidding!!) to memorize Psalm 25, so I’m doing it too.
I am clinging to these truths right now…
…that when I (or my children!!) are being attacked, it is like the Lord Himself is being poked in the eye…and He is NOT okay with it. (Zechariah 2:8)
…that the Lord says that vengeance is His (Romans 12:19). So often, when I’ve decided that I’ve had all I can take and I’m ready take matters into my own hands, I feel like He is saying to me…
“Do you want to handle this, or do you want ME to handle this??”
Almost like the two choices are mutually exclusive.
…that the Lord says that HE will fight for me, I need only to be STILL (Exodus 14:14). For me, being still includes keeping my mouth SHUT…the hardest thing in the world for me to do. I can only do this by the power of the Holy Spirit – it goes against every natural tendency of mine. I have memorized Psalm 141:3 and pray it out loud when I am tempted to rally the troops on my behalf, or just give way to gossip as a form of relief (I’m not gonna lie, sometimes is just feels good…but it’s bad). When I have surrendered my mouth to the Lord, THAT is when I personally have noticed Him move most powerfully on my behalf.
Your little sister here is 36 years old and still single. I feel very strongly that the desires that I have to be married and have a family are from God, but my husband is nowhere to be found. Some days that is ok, others it really isn’t. The not-so-good days are beginning to overtake the ok days and it’s getting harder and harder to wait for God’s plan – which I KNOW in my head is better than any detour I could take.
Hi Jenni- my post sounds very similar to yours (just 5 below yours…) so just wanted you to know that I feel the same way and am praying for you! Sometimes it is just encouraging to know others are in similar situations because Satan tries to isolate and make us feel as if no one else could possibly understand. Hope it is a little encouragement from one little sister to another. :). Already started memorizing Psalm 25… Have a great day!
Jenni & Tanya – I can so relate to your feelings. I’ll be 38 later this month and still single. Some days are easier than others; some days it’s all I can do to keep the tears inside. Please know you aren’t alone in this struggle.
Jenni, Tanya & Nikki,
I am 43 and single – not at all where I thought I would be at this point in my life. Most of the time I am ok with it, but i do have days where I just weep about it. I have prayed to God to please take away the desire to be a wife and a mom if it is not in my future, but it is still there. Some days I feel very much so alone, like no one understands. I will definitely pray for you and will start memorizing Psalm 25. Be blessed sisters!!!
Your little sister here is at the point in her walk where my whole desire is to please Him. However, I feel so alone because I feel like I cannot enjoy anything about life at all while there are people suffering in various parts of the world. I think of their pain and troubles, and feel guilty for all I have. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even enjoy a simple day of swimming with other believers because i feel like I should be always serving or spreading the gospel at all times. The idea of unreached people dying while I’m fine kills me. But at the same time I have not felt called to go anywhere in particular yet and believe I am where I’m supposed to be. It’s completely robbed me of joy. I also have struggled with serving in small ways isn’t good enough. I don’t know what to do.
I believe God can give us a sensitive spirit like you describe – but rather than feeling guilt and shame, let that spirit drive you to pray for those in need. It is a very noble calling.
As for not feeling like you do enough, that sounds like perfectionism. I’ve been there. The Lord wants all of your heart, and if you have given that to him, that is enough. Just rely on the grace that is yours in Jesus. Ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit each and every day and believe that God is guiding your every step.
Remember that condemnation is from Satan, not God. God convicts, but Satan condemns, and the easiest way for me to tell the difference between the two is when you confess your sin, it should not tarry any longer. If you keep on feeling guilty, that is condemnation. Refuse to let Satan tell you his lies, and believe God! He is a gracious God and is delighted in your desire to follow and love him!
Your little sister here needs lots of prayer. As I have been seeking the Lord’s will for my life, Satan has attacked me like never before. I can’t seem to gain any footing as I try to stand in the battle. I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but then the darkness closes in and it is darker than it was before. I’m just at a point where I cannot stand any more! Have you ever been there, been at that place where it is just too hard to stand?
I graduated from school a year ago. I still haven’t found a job. I live with a family that hates my faith and doesn’t believe that I will ever find a good paying job in ministry. I have been in the top choices for churches that I have interviewed at, but nothing has come my way. It’s a constant struggle living in the persecution at home. For the past two months I haven’t had a car to even get a small part time job, so it just adds to the pile of hardships in my house. Physically a car and job would definitely take some weight off of the struggles in my spiritual life.
I just know that prayer is part of the armor of God, so I mainly ask for prayer.
Thank you, big sisters, in advanced for your willingness to share your journey with us! It’s a joy to know someone is willing to pour their life into mine 🙂
Your Big Sister here!
Hold on to Jesus. When everything seems to shift under your feet and you don’t know what’s happening, keep your eyes on JEsus.
When you can’t stop thinking about the situation and it invades your every thought — speak scripture. (It works!) Every time you think… ‘I would like to give her a piece of my mind’ or ‘I can’t believe that happened to us’ speak scripture to yourself. My favorite to recite when life is hard is Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all ways acknowledge Him and He will guide your path.
Trust in Jesus
Know that His plan is always better than yours
Acknowledge He is Lord of your life
Follow His leadership
And STAY in His WORD!! That is where you’ll find the path He has for you.
I’m praying for all the littles out there today!!
Big Sister here: I am in Nehemiah this morning doing Kelly’s study: “Yahweh, God of heaven, the great and awe-inspiring God who keeps His gracious covenant with those who love Him and keep His commands, let your eyes be open and Your ears be attentive to hear your servant’s prayer…” Precious one’s, praying God’s blessings on each and every one of my little sisters every where…we do love you…
Little Sister here… As my 35th birthday looms near in the next few weeks, I am being overwhelmed by feelings of failure and panicked despair. I will officially be “Advanced Maternal Age” and for a girl who wanted a family full of kids, at least 4, I am not even married yet and no prospect in site. I feel so disappointed and that somehow I messed up yet at the same time trying so hard to hold on the Truth that God is in control of every detail of my life. I can trust Him and I choose to trust Him. Yet every morning I get the “reminder” and a nice round of an emotional beating that I am such a failure and unloveable and will never have my desires for a family fulfilled, and that somehow it is all my fault, that I don’t deserve it. I have so much to be thankful for, I don’t want to spend the whole month depressed and defeated!
As i will only be a “little sister” for 3 more months, I will take you up on this opportunity to have some personal ministry through the hands of a “big sister”. For the life of me, the enemy knows he can’t steal the victories that God has so graciously given our family in the very last little while, but he is actively seeking to steal the JOY that goes along with those victories and it’s WORKING!! How do i feel joy after being rescued from a hardship, when for so long, all i felt was defeat and saddness?